today i go to school with shan and fai.
hum.... fine.
then i've got his message. it's really nice feelings.
anyway... he's busy.
we've taught. heehee =)
after school... i was crossing the road very carelessly. hum... next time i'll be more careful.
and then.. haha...
excuese me, who is chew mei kwan?
aiya... i m not feeling well today.
might be i 've taken so much marshmallows or chocolate lately.
after taking too much french fries, my heart pain.
yesterday and today... i feel pain sometimes... especially when deep breathing.
i think i should stop eating sweet food. =(
he asks me to have a check, but i say no.
hum... but i think he should keep checking his body condition. yup.
by the way, who is chew mei kwan, huh? haha ! =P
last night i've chated with friends... hum... i tell them my difficulties.
they ask me to see, to feel clearly when i'be there.
and now, nothing could be prepared.
last night , hui ping told me she's coming with her family in dec.
perhaps if i 'd still be in hongkong, i could be the guide for them =)
ai... tired tired... tomorrow can rest alot.
but might be i'll go library. coz have to plan for the paper.
next month, dec, from dec i'll have class on Tue, night time from 7- 10... USU.... ai...
hey~ i got 97/100 in the first math test ! heehee.
i've a lot of things wanna tell him, but i always forget what i wanna say...
=(
yea i wanna tell him i got 97, i wanna tell him my class 'd be started on dec,
yea i wanna tell him my friend is coming, and i've been the guide for a night for the sweden family...
yea, i've started to plan for my further studies, yea i wanna know his other phone numbers,
yea i wanna know his answer about the last question i've asked.
yea i wanna tell him that my sister's friend going to meet her net friend...
but my mum against alot, even thiough she's just my sister's friend...
yea i've alot to tell... i wanna tell him i want to send him something... yea ...
i wanna ask him when 'll be the name card sent from him... what's my present he told me last time.
it's hard to contact him actually.
****
AFTER FEW HOURS...
we've cahted on line,
and i've told him what i wanna tell. =) 14/ 11/ 04
>>November 14, 2004 at 1:20:07 PM GMT+8
2004 年 11 月 10 日 星期三 【晴】
heehee~
today after waked,
i go to ma on shan have lunch with dad and mom, and grandpa.
then on the way.... i got the message from kk !
haha! he said he's back!
and then he's fine.
i replied him imediately.. about questions.
hum,... then when i read and sent message, i've missed a bus stop to get off the bus.
hum... when i sat down at the resturant, i got the call!!
CALL ! from him, benny !
hum,..... we've chated.
heehee~~~ HEEHEE ^^ ~
and then....
after lunch, i went to dad's office.
i stayed around 45 mins, then i go to school ,taking exam~
er.... exam delay...
i've finished it when 7:30 pm
i went back store, to take my stuffs...
with Only( my classmate) well, on the way,
we've met Iris with her boyfriend ( both are my classmates)
they felt so supprised... i thought they got misunderstand on me and Only.
hum... i say no, but Only didnt say so, he just smile?
ah... i dont want people got misunderstanding leh.
then i come back home.
i've called him on way to home, but i think he's sleep ~^^ heheh.
hum.... yea, he need to rest lots.
hum...
today during exam, i've ate a lot of marshmallows..heehee.
thx god actually, deeply.
=) yup, you know last night,
I ve the conversation with god, or spirital thing inside.
\and i got the ans, i just have to have faith in god and him, benny.
Thankyou God. My Lord, jesus.
>>November 11, 2004 at 1:19:03 PM GMT+8
2004 年 11 月 9 日 星期二 【晴】
tomorrow got the exam... stressed but nothing to do.
last night i had the conversation with kk,
we prayed.
hum... should have faith in god.
then, today i stayed at home a whole day...
not studying, just watching tv, go on line to do saerching.
searching for the ticket and hotel rate, fees...
yea i'm planing for the trip also.
but you know...
the coming days, i'll have usu make up class.
at night, from 7- 10 pm, in tst, with patrick.
er....haha.
aiya... this time cant fail de... dont know what to do...
ai...
still no news from benny leh.
he always let me worry for him.
what's wrong actually...
November 9 Tuesday,
Hope For Worries-
When fear and worry test your faith
and anxious thoughts assail,
remember god is in control
and he will nevr fail. -- Sper
The more we think about god's word,
the less we'll think about our worries.
"the things which you learned and recieved and heard and saw in me,
these do, and the god of peace will be with you."
i'm confused, but i'll get through it again.
>>November 10, 2004 at 11:05:48 AM GMT+8
2004 年 11 月 9 日 星期二 【晴】
lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
dont worry
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
you mean...for?
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
about ben
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
how to dont worry
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
have faith in God
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
my last church service.. the pastor was saying..
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
God is never too late. nor too early
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
He comes on the dot
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
i tell you... that's the secert... all of my friends dont trust him.
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
yea, you're right
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
have you read the dialy bread?
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
u mean bible/
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
?
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
something like the bible...hum...let me show you... hang on
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/odb/odb.shtml
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
your claim is like what it says today.
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
hmm?
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
The more we meditate on God's Word, the less we need to worry. In Psalm 23, David meditated on his great Shepherd instead of worrying. Later, God chose him to be the shepherd of His people (Psalm 78:70-72). God uses those who can honestly say, "The Lord is my shepherd." —Joanie Yoder
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
see
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
i've not seen the daily bread
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
yet im saying that of what God wishes to convey to u
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
He is here
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
so just have faith
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
thankyou.
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
so... have you prayed for him?
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
hmm not really
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
do u want to pray together for ben now?
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
sure
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
if you dont mind
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
=)
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Lord Jesus Christ, King of kings, you have power over life and death. You know even things that are uncertain and obscure, and our very thoughts and feelings are not hidden from you. Loving Father, I entrust Ben to your care this day; guide with wisdom and skill the minds and hands of the medical people who minister in your Name, and grant that every cause of illness be removed, that Ben may be restored to soundness of health and learn to live in more perfect harmony with you and with those around me. Bless Ben and heal him, watch over him Lord; we also pray that he will soon be able to keep in touch us. We will not worry, for we know that in You, all things are possible. Amen.
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
Thankyou God. I dont now what to say in you, coz you know me everything... i'm not good in pray, but you do know me everything. Thankyou for guilding, for blessing. but you also know my weakness , you know our sins. i dont know what to say, but plx take care of him, benny, coz god he didnt now about you before, plx let him to have chance to meet your spirit. plx take away his pain, although i
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
couldnt help anything. but you know what's going on and what will happen to us. you're my lord, our lord.. there's only you have that .... power to hold us, host us. god, i could just pray to you, perhaps to strength our faith inside.... god... here's daugther, very honest praying... coz i couldnt ask anyone for help, except you, my lord. amen
† lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
amen
Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff- 好情人. 吉祥. 天國的階梯. "最重要是你的生命". I WISH YOU BEST. God's there God 's here. says:
thankyou so much kk
>>November 10, 2004 at 7:30:24 AM GMT+8
2004 年 11 月 8 日 星期一 【晴】
Today,
i attend to class,
tried to concentrate on notes... but i got fail... haha... i fell asleep.
i felt so weak leh... then i wrote the letter to benny, and i made the "enphonenoon, ok?!"
and then... at lunch me and joey went to post office.
hum... i've got cheated by the food store...
well... and very unlucky thing happened.
anyway,
today, the stat lesson focus on the exam for Thursday.
but... so sudden... i've memorrized the conversation, which for me and benny.
he was very sweet.... ,talking to me, very real, very lovely...
you know...
i feel so pain, when i think of him, coz he's still in hospital! but i can do nothing.
but i'm too affraid to loose the memorries with him! i've to memorrize well...
but just painfiull... hurt.
but now... i still cant contact him.
people keep saying he's cheating on me, only me that still believe him.
actually... when i get confused, i still stand straight.
last night i wrote him letter too...
and these nights i dreamed him lots and lots.
i cant deny.... that.... he's always on my mind.
i can never deny that's the fact on me.
i feel so hard... coz... i trust him lots and lots.
but who trust me made the right decision?
maybe god does? i said before... if there's only me to trust him.... i'll still be standing for him.
but somedays... i just need a word, or one sentance, then i'll give up the relationship.
we'd become friends forever, or brothers, whatever.
i do care for him, maybe breaking up is a good willing for us... but i dont think i've to end this up
right now... coz he's still in my mind... i still havent got any message from him...
i cant do that, i cant say no... coz i'd never say no.
i dont wanna make any decision... i put it to god.. wait for his direction.
i tell him, i pray to Him that i really trust him, if there's just me standing right there.
i'm still be strong. although i cry, i upset, frustrated... whatever...
i dont know is that th love i can claim... but i do know my feelings.
after school , we go starbucks.
hum... we chated.
joey knows i had tears in class.
and i had tears when we talking about him at coffe.
i tell her, yea my friends also agree that i look not alright, a bit upset, a bit quiet these days...
and yea this is me.
yea i did care about dennis cheung before, not coz i love him or i treated him like boyfriend,
bu coz i do care of him like someone in need. i'd try to be friend with him,
coz feel like he's a nice guy, but dont know why people around him aint like supporting him lots.
i just tried to be friendly to him. provide him the best, just coz of the support.
but days by day... what i've seen is that he doesnt need me actually,
coz he has enough... sourse for anything he wants.
but he never treated me like a friend. i didnt ask for much, but he didnt do the least either.
so, i really really got dissapointed on him. not getting jealous actually, but dissapointed.
it's like if i keep staying around him, i'd get mad someday... so...
and he stayed strong to me saying like he doesnt like me, coz he thinks i got misunderstanded.
but i ... didnt know how i thought of him, i just knew that i would like to try my best for him.
not in what way, just only be friendly, maybe i'm just too friendly to him.
anyway, that's all the past.
but now...
i dont know what to say...
coz... no one believe him, except me and his friends.
joey says ...might be his friends are " him " , his acting only.
i dont want to... think of that...
and the only thing i concern is his health, safty.
i'm very vry upset, so what?
i still have the hope in god.
i wanna cry, but i cant.
coz the tears dont willing to drope.
>>November 9, 2004 at 12:35:20 PM GMT+8
2004 年 11 月 7 日 星期日 【晴】
last night i've chated with his another friend, Augustus.
hum,.. he told me benny is a cool guy.
i just tried to get some news from his friends.
well... i told him i'm confused.
some feelings like cheated... but he told no. that should not be the sutable expression.
but for me, that is. i mean if he really lie to me whenever.
he told me... he's a private man. well... i know it... haha...
he said... at least he worths the glance of returning.
they ve met before, i mean in person.
and i asked him if benny likes two timed relationship... he says... he doesnt feel like he's this kind
of person. he was still missing his ex girlfriends when they met 1.5 years ago.
but i know that benny has more than one phone number... that i didnt know before.
Augustus minds to tell about the other 2 or 3 phone number... it's ok.
edwin asked about benny just now.
well... thankyou ...
actually he's a really nice guy.
and today,
i waked at 10:00
mom and me go breakfast at mcdonald's...
we back home to watch tv.
then i go on line....
i've met another girl, his friend also. this is the third person,
also the last one i've added from group.
she also knows about benny and the operation.
hum.... the last time they've contacted was the time he just get out from the hospital.
she told me he'd be ok. well... a bit embarassed for me ...
coz maybe she's one of his girl friends.
hum.... yea... i dont know.
just now, i've chated with joey,
she phoned me last night when after 2 am...
i was in bed although still not sleep yet.
then today we chated on phone.
and... i've told her all about last night and the night before and about today...
three of them, all of them.
what i thought after chated with them seperately.
and also with junming. he told me what he thinks... always be honest to me..hee.
so... she asks me if finally benny did lied to me... then how...
i told her i'd forgive him for everything, but wouldnt keep the relationship along.
we would end up.
yea, i'd treat him like my dear brother, my lovely friend =) but no more in another.
but you know... i still trust him,
although all of you or part of you dont trust him.
i dont think he cheated me... but i think there must be something i dont know.
but i dont tend to figure it out... it's meaningless.
but i miss him much, coz i wanna know about his condition now.
i wanna know how's he now.
how come his friends dont really concern on him?
here, hk,
all of my friends do care me. if i got anything wrong... they 'd take good care of me( i think)
and then should be many people know how 's my situation, i think dont need me to tell all my frens.
aiya.... is it so strange for me in here?
last time , vincent told us all about joey got into hospital.
then almost everyday i asked about her conditions, news.
how could be like that...
last night Augustus said he'd be here after 9 pm...
so i 'll stay here waiting for him. coz i wanna ask more about benny.
actually dont know would benny dislike me doing these stuffs or not.
but i should do that if the situation is like that.
i cant just sitting here, doing nothing then dont know how long should be waiting for.
and i cant stand for my life is always crying, drinking coffe, taking chocolate.
i miss him much, but i still cant come, so... i just my best to pray for him, to... get his news.
that's all what i should do now.
yea, he affects my studies lots. but what if i force myself dont to think of him?
i could... but i shouldnt.
i'll do my stuffs well before the last min, at the right time.
like... on Thursday, i'll have the hardest stat exam.
just now, i've collected all my notes, i've known about what to study later...
although a little bit late to match up the study plan which i wrote before.
it's still fine for me. promise.
now...
i've to be strong.
perhaps joey could get over those things or people so soon.
thx for her photos, yea, i've up load the newest pictures on my net.
http://photos.yahoo.com/lau_mei_kwan_
the song " wo de ai " from sun yan zi.
>>November 8, 2004 at 12:58:19 PM GMT+8
2004 年 11 月 6 日 星期六 【晴】
eat out tonight.
tingting's birthday.
i'm not happy.
we used to have 6 girls sitting together having dinner.
gigi is in us now, jackie is in tai wan, cherryying is busy tonight...
and... shiheng, tingting ask me a lot about him and our relationship.
ting ting say... i look not alright, look so upset.
yup...
she asks me... whether coz i need a boyfriend so...
is that why i so easy to get the relationship on net.
i feel so .... bad actually. hard feeling.
i explain....not coz of the need... but it comes, then i take.
last night..
i add a boy, who from the group , from benny.
he got the conversation with benny on 31 st, which day he's supposed to stay in hospital.
i've read their conversation.
the boy was away, so that's why no respond to benny.
but i do see the " yo" from benny.
but youknow... since long days before, he hasnt be on line, coz pc got some problems.
tingting says ... i shouldnt hurt myself like this.
hey...
i feel so tough...
tonight we make the bill to be $333.
for three girls.
it's expensive.
anyway, hard feeling...
>>November 7, 2004 at 2:35:58 PM GMT+8
2004 年 11 月 5 日 星期五 【晴】
today... i didnt wake up to work, coz too tired already...
then after waked, daddy drives out for lunch.
then i go to store, looking for rachel( my workmate)
then we go to ...tai zi
i catch up aunt ching, then go to mong kok...
soon then meet rain,(my workmate) heehee
then we go take picture, nice~
then i've met joey...
i sit there for dinner with her and vicky.
later...i have the apple pie... not bad.
we walk along the road after dinner.....
i felt so bad.... coz i know i'm thinking of him again and again.
i take mini bus to home alone.
and... i really miss him.... tears didnt fell down... but ...
i dont know...
just now got the e-mail from chong jie...(edwin)
oh my...
he still wait for what?!
he makes me stressed.... why?!
he shouldnt let me know at least, and he should give up anyway.
i .... dont know...
let me go pls...that's what i tell myself.
i dont want to .... reject anyone. plz... you to step back.
dont ask me to do whatever, just give me up please. step back!
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
oh my god...
今日好忙碌...
lost child: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also. Gen 38:10 says:
Today,
last night i've chated with his another friend, Augustus.
Someone who know