long time vent come here again,
network down for few days already, maybe 2 or 3 days.
whatever,
i miss darling soooo much, everyday, everynight.
wake up, eating, watching tv, on duty, dinner, tv, sleep... all the time.
i felt so bad =C
by the way, today finally can come on line by the new pc, but not mine.
hummmmmm.... then i come to blog...
today i go to the consulate again, then they give me the document, and the body check list.
hummmmmm, being trouble.
then i go back to sha tin, to ve lunch(tea) with bobo, my friend in mc-cafe.
she's a kind girl. we ve the jap food.
then i buy some personal thing, nice color, haha!
hummmmmm walk around, then go back to tai po, i called shan(agnes) out to drink.
we've talk and talk... haha, she's my best friend!
we'vent met for long, i miss her soooo much~
yea, on the way, i've talk on phone with jackie! my another best friend! haha
she's back again, wao.... but so poor girl, dont wanna tell her story here, but i know.
hummmmmm, i know all will be fine =)
i wanna get the ralph lauren as soon as possible. hummmmm that's very nice,
but i've considered about the body shop also.... hummmm dont know which one is nicer for me.
maybe, should take some advise from others =P
maybe shan? =P heehee
anyway,
i'm so pleased now, coz i've chated my my dearest two best friends in one day! haha!
but i hope to talk with my darling on phone as soon as possible too.
coz i miss him really much.........
dont know how's he now, looking forward taling with him tonight.
perhaps he'd come tonight early...
you know, i cant be on line for long, coz here's not my place.
hummmmmmmmmmmm...... yea.
aiya, in these days, i've been a bit bit bit grumppy.
ai.... i'm not really mean to be like that, but i did.
i's so confused....by my feelings.
anything go wrong in my body? or my mind??
i'm not sure.
i just now i got the bad days....that i dont want.
and i've to go through them.
i dont know how hard the road might be in front of the path to go,
i just know that it's not the begining anymore, i got to run through it.
if it's too hard, then take a break, pray more, then continous it.
i know i'm not alone. i got jesus, my darling, and my good friends, my family with me.
=) that's so sweet.
dad's going to hospital on monday.
hummmm i'll pray for him every day and night.
i know he'd be fine =)
hummmmmmm,,....... gotta stop.
write back soon.
p.s.
i wanna start reading newspaper everyday.
but not the chinese nespaper.
hope to meet up friendssss again too.
really hope and hope to be with darling as soon as possible.
letting my family know aout him.
want to talk to him tonight....
>>February 25, 2005 at 12:19:21 PM GMT+8
2005 年 2 月 21 日 星期一 【暴雨】
ve been so long not come here to blog...
today, early in the morning, now is 8: 25 am already.
last night i went to bed at 4 am,
but slept at 6 am.
then wake at 7:45 am...
last night struggling with the student permit application form.
almost all the documents done.
you know i got to go submit it, although i still cant attach some document.
sigh...
what i'm doing right now? like the idiot...just sitting in front of the com,
keep typing, chating with the com.
who i'm waiting then?
my darling lor...
he met me at 8 am. but now what time? 8:29am
oh dear.... i know he's sick last night, but if it's the reason that's why he being late
or no show always?
sometimes is "fell asleep" ...
hummmmm, i know he doesnt need to lie to me, or he is really sick,
then i shouldnt blame him, or what.
i just hate waiting ppl.
i always be late, right?
but if the meeting, duties, or whatever is important, ever i ve been late?
no lor.
last night i cant sleep...
full of the job assignments, full of him, full of the situations fore-casting in my mind.
i wanna do something good for star team before i leave.
i know i respon for the delivery, and it becomes our main msm.
i ve the concept in my brain now, perhaps to get a drink with sankie soon.
i'm not that un-responsibility lor... i know i take sick leave easily is very bad,
and i know i'm always wrong when i sleep over time but didnt call back to store.
i cant defense for myself what... but that's the fact.
darling works tough all the time, sometimes i just worried for him,
but ...that's his desicion.
and later, 1/2 hr more, i'll go central.
sigh.... what time now???? 8:44 am
i ve to go around 9:15
aunt keeps talking with me on line, heehee, thanks alot =)
in these days i feeling not well,
hummmm i know the weather affects lots, and i'm so hungry easily, but really cant eat much,
if i eat much, then i'll like to vomit...but actually not much, that's strange =s
hey darling will come or not?
8:52 am already... he's always kidding with me or what.
i hate like that.
when i prepare everytime, get ready, waiting for him, then he wont come.
then tell me lots of excuese... excuese me sir, then what should i say ?
when we make the the time to meet, then he wont appeal.
that's for 70% for sure.
i dont know what to say, i'm a bit frustrated.... :<
outside is damn cold...
only 8 or 9 c
i know vancouver is -2 to -8 right now.... shit.........
but maybe good? coz now is the coldest, then when i go there, i dont need to freeze.
just now i ask aunt... what wheather will it be
she told me not summer yet =( but will turning good lor.
aiya...
now i now that i rather stay in summer.
coz actually i really cant sleep well if it's too cold.
8:59 am already.
just now actually i couldnt wake up, but i ve to, coz i dont want to keep him waiting,
although i come on line at 8:15 am,
but it's much better than him huh...
this time i dont know i should blame him or what, he knows i need to go out early.
i've told him last night. that's his suggesting at 8 am today.
damn it ~
i need to sleep, but i come and wait, but what he does to me?
if he's too sick, cant wake up telling me what?
now i know how sankie feels like when i dont go duty with no calls.
sankie is my head, but benny is my boyfriend.
they're different lor.
what you think? which one is more important to me?
eveytime i wanna get angry with his apperence,
then something bad happening along with him. i dont want that happens anymore... !
shit. i dont want to get angry with myself today. i still ve lots stuffs to do today.
last night we ve meeting at the apple tree,
they smoke and smoke... so smell now my clothes.
i hate ppl smoke smoke smoke to me !!!!!
9:05 am now.
what i supposed to do now?!
i go make up then leave.
9:08 am.
>>February 22, 2005 at 1:06:57 AM GMT+8
2005 年 2 月 15 日 星期二 【晴】
hi =)
these days is all the family day... rest alot, not bad =)
i'm getting fat now, haha...
i think coz i eat too much in these days !
hahaha, really... coz very yummy, the chinese food.
and dont know why, being with family would help me eat alot.
hum,... jackie left today, and chris also.
good for them =) i think they're all at the right place already.
they're both my really good friend ! heehee
but people left, people come,
sheila backs! haha my dear cousin !
looking forward to seeing her =)
hum,... stay at home most of time, very relax...
and waiting for him on line every night is very like the marrage life.
sometimes i'd day dreaming ... about the days after married.
that's sweet.
one late, i've chated with jackie on phone for 2 +++ hours...
haha! we've taught about married.
i said i'd give her $ 1000 for the lucky money. haha!
she says she'd invite me to be the "bun niang" haha! good good good !
then i'd ask her for help also!
i'd invite her, and shan to be my bun niang de! haha!
then i still ve lots of friends ! i'd invite my workmates to come, my dear friends in utah,
my dearest 5D classmates heehee, and my teachers, and tutors.
of course my dear auntsssss, uncle, and my dearest cousinssss ! hahaha...
hum,..... jackie said that she'd ve around 2 - 3 wedding parties,
one at hk, one at tai wan and one at mainland.
haha!
i just need two then =) one at hk, then one at sg.
they're all the.... nothing till we really do it, is it?
haha but that's good to think about =) so sweet.
darling these days very hard working,
daytime works, then back home to study at night.
i dont understand how he can do that.
but he just say... he has to.
i think that's just toooo tough.
i'm a bit worried that if he could take it.
for me, actually i dont want other things he brings to me,
but i just hope the good health with him .
i just need him, being good, being healthy =) HEEHEE.
he's just kidding with me just now!
haha!
i'll bring lots of children to him? haha, must be kidding... haha.
Darling was on finally,
we've talk... i've broken his phone.... all in pieces.
oh.my...
although he said that's never mind, but i think.... i still feel sorry for that.
as you know now, he's sick...
if he got any problems, while he need the call, but no one could help...
=(
***
anyway, today i vent contacted him yet... i miss him much,
but sometimes i think i can enjoy mylife myself, even is the valentine's.
hummmm,....
last night sleep late, cant sleep.
think of him too much... thinking too much about the days at singappore.
i really miss the days there, missing them, and of course my darling... lots and lots...
today i go on line checking about the information in two airlines,
they required the pr status or the citizenship. hum,...
sometimes i think,... i would give up my career in order to reach my darling place.
sometimes i think i would continous my jobs after married... still chasing my dream.
but the present now is telling me there's nothing 100% perfect excisting.
you pick up something, that means you're going to lose something else.
today is the valentine's,
we keep on our relationship, then we're losing lots of celebrations with others.
but those chances, for which is just the shit for us... we just dont care.
at least till now, we dont care.
hummmmmm, perhaps he'd get well so soon.
wish him a good health life, wish him all the blessing =)
wish us really can get together someday.
wish you all ve the happy valentine's.
>>February 14, 2005 at 11:32:46 AM GMT+8
2005 年 2 月 12 日 星期六 【晴】
hi~
darling messaged me last night he need to go checking today,
he's very sick...
=(
and today i keep contacting him, but not reached...
i'm worried for him, dont know how's him right now =S
he didnt contact me yet.
i've found him for many times already, but not reached =C ...
he's alone at home, no one take care of him... sigh...
when his family back?! oh dear...
i feel so tough working today,
very busy at store, but only 2 csa, and 2 helper running for the whole day from 8 am- 10 pm.
shit, that's stressed....
helpers must stay counter front taking order, only me and steven on fall.
that's crazy. we even dont ve enough loby crews on fall also.
so, today it's quite sick...
but fine, eventually it's still ok.
and although they dont concern how's the store running, i mean other csa, except kenny,
i do concern. it doesnt coz i'm going to fight for the chance promoted,
i want to train myself. be more smart, be great, helping myself.
today i'm the leader, coz no one do that, i just ve to be.
i feel good, but just lack of experience, need to improve myself...
view more, think more, and do more, yeah. think about what i should do, what shouldnt.
i've been late for one hour, cant wake up.
but i left early, around 8:30. actually i want to leave at 8:00pm.
but you know, fandy comes! shit. i cant leave !
i ve to back home what, coz i wanna stay on line to wait for him, maybe he'd come on line mesg me.
i called miki to log in for me, but hummmmmm... dont find him on line.
i'm worried for him.
i thnk his phone system always got problems !
calls cant be reached, mesg also cant.
he cant call out. mesg cant be sent. aiya...
hum,.... i'll keep praying for him tonight.
i know only god knows and He 'll take care of him =)
i need to end up...
and i'll go asking for the medical check up tomorrow, and go banking...
coz it s been so long vent go bank.
and i really hope i could stay with him as soon as possible, i want to take care of him.
but i know jesus will arrange well everything for me.
coz He's my only God, my only Guildence.
Thankyou Jesus.
>>February 13, 2005 at 2:04:03 PM GMT+8
2005 年 2 月 11 日 星期五 【晴】
heehee,
today cant wake up, so didnt go to work.
hum,... that's the bad habit.
but i got to admit that i'm bad in it =P heehee
family day today.
they go hiking, then we go ve dim sum.
then go shopping... actually not buy what... just hang around.
hum,... ok lor.
i've called him before i go out.
he's still sleeping =) heehee, like the little pig.
he's still sick.... hummm... plx take care well plx....
we joked lor... haha, he called me 寶貝, haha i say, huh? gum fai?
haha actually i didnt think that's fast, but just... haha supprised. ^^
we're kidding, then i say i should call him,... bb, haha!
"eeeeeeee~~~ " haha!!! so cute~ ^^
let's see later we'd meet on lline or how. heehee
i love him...^^
so sweet~~~
>>February 12, 2005 at 11:11:26 AM GMT+8
2005 年 2 月 10 日 星期四 【晴】
hum,... today i go to (o17) again!
hum,... work tough actually.
got to do lots and lots... i know i'm experiencing lots and lots good for my life.
by the way, i know something happened on erica.... so sorry for her.
although we're not very closed, but i still willing to listen to her, and accompany her.
me, sankie, sherin,wyane, steven and kenny, rachel, will always here supporting you.
coz we're the best team. and you're my friend =)
i know she's a really nice,pretty and kind girl.
all will be fine.
hum,... so sweet with benny, my dearest darling ~heehee^^
we've taught for the misunderstanding what.
actually i just realise that i dont want to give up, coz i love him so much too.
as in this situation, i think i should not give up.
and try my best with him.
hum,... dont know what to say. is that called " the crush"?
but, hum,... i know we're just from different world person, sooooo indiviuals us,
sooooooooooo ego, having different mind.... but dont know why we're just attracted by each other.
last time i've chated with angeline,
and i know all of my friends and i'd know even my family wont support our story.
but that's just the way we choose to go and dont want to step back.
hum,... angeline is absolutely right, i shouldnt take this advantage, but i just choose it,
coz i just want to try. and i know i dont want to give up.
although he's exactly not my type. when we're together, i feel something real.
although that's strange, but he's real and i feeling him nice and real too.
so, i was very very confused, all the feelings mix together... but i start to look more clear.
sometimes maybe i just need someone only, not much.
maybe someday i would change my mind, but what's the future? what's the point...
tomorrow is just started by today. something that cumanative, cant changed,
what' youll think or feel, that just go develope from today.
so, i do know what i'm doing now, so i wont be regret, and although maybe i'd change my mind,
but i'm sure that i'll be so proud of myself today and future.
anyway, be happy =)
hum,... this year, i got the plan,
i ve to take the eng course, then come back,
then i've to make sure about my studies to be continused by fulltime or part-time.
coz i feel like to promote to the next stage, the store representativies.
i want to be the co-ordinator before 23 year-old.
and to finish my degree before 23 also.
but first of all,
this year, i got to start learning be... real relaxing myself,
this.... means..... something on the relationship with him =)
we'll get better, more stable and how to say...
actually i think when two people get together, the first thing is to make sure you love each others,
then keep tring to get well with each others, for each others.
hum,... sometimes
getting confused is the way for you to move to next stage, that's the key...
maybe the outcome notice that you guys must stop what, it'll still be fine for you guys eventually,
coz you must learn someting already,
and you'll get someone nicer. then... look back you'll see it's good.
but actually, it depends on how you develope it and the line be settle yourself.
hum,... now, just work hard on my job and studies.
and of course to take care well of my dearest darling =)
my friends and my family.
thanks giving to my dearest jesus.
coz only you could be my guidence =)
thankyou jesus ^^ ~
and thanks for my darling too ^^~ hee
>>February 11, 2005 at 3:52:20 PM GMT+8
2005 年 2 月 9 日 星期三 【晴】
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Any moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of your yesterday
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?
[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
and start to try 'cause it's your time, time to fly
All your worries, leave them somewhere else
Find a dream you can follow
Reach for something when there's
nothing left and the world's feeling hollow
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?
[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
and start to try 'cause it's your time, time to fly
And when you're down and feeling low,
just want to run away
Trust yourself and don't give up
You know you better than anyone else
In a moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of yesterday
[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life(can't in life)
and start to try(start to)
Fly
Forget about the reasons why you
can't in life(can't in life)
and start to try (start to try)
'cause it's your time, time to fly
In a moment everything can change
***
this year, i've to learn how to be relax,
real relaxing life , that's what i want.
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
胸襲...
aiya...
hi =)
Someone who know