2005 年 4 月 26 日 星期二 【晴】

Hey Guys!

here's 7:11 pm already... but still sun-shine... haha...
i dont feel hungry all the time here... maybe no mood to eat?

i wanna share my flight to here.
oz that's really nice and meaningfull.
i've met an old woman, jorean on flight. she doesnt understand eng,
only speak korean, but me, just speak eng... she needs help sometimes,
but i couldnt, or i tried hard to understand her.
i know some, or very limited in korean...
so, when we talk, we couldnt get each others haha...
but at the end of flight, she told me, or tried to ..... let me know
she's a christian. that's really nice...
i gave her my lucky tigger haha...
there's lot of blessings =)

i'm doing fine here. hummmm dont need to worry for me.
my aunt and the family taking care me well...
and i've been to the school, meeting someone, called Emma already.
fine, i guess i 'd enjoy my studis well here =)
thax for jesus !!!!!! haha
i'll ve the eng test on this friday, 8:30 am...
perhaps pass or not? hummmm if i pass,
i might br able to reach the strandard actually
if i get pass, then i'll skip the eng course directly heehee.
but you know that means i've to pay around hkd 10000 to
start the hotel management studies.
hummmmmm that's good actyally if i could skip the course, but you know,
that's good and bad.
by the way...

i still vent home sick yet, maybe not started yet?
i'm not sure.
but i dont think i'm gonna have? i dont know... hummmm
last night i didnt sleep early, aunt brings me to her friend's home.
she did her busness, then i warching tv haha...
nice nice...

^^
i've chated with darling already, on net.
hummmmm he's so tired... poor him...
actually, we've chated for long at the airport, haha... before bording.
heeheeee...

and after landing i feel like i've taken flight for 24 hrs.
that's damn tired, and how to say... coz taking off is on day-time,
and lending is also day-time, and around the same " hrs ".
bording at... 12:30... and leaving the airport around... 4 pm.
that's amazing!

aunt and her son, terrence come to pick me me "home" haha
terrence is a .... polite guy, at least to me, haha...
maybe coz i'm the guest in home.
hummmmmmmmmm..... here everything is fine... i'm not worried.
and quite boring. haha...

i love the suppermarket here! hahaha...
but i dont eat much lor, just very little then enough.
but here, richmond, is like the china town.
coz i see chinese much more than western =S
but, so funny that when i saw the workers out side the platform,
i feel like... westerns work for chinese!
they're the handsome blond guys...
they climb up, stading outside, at the platform... i didnt know they came!
then he smiles to me, haha!!! i look at him, dont know what to say!
coz that's a bit shocked actually...
i watching him spaying, the plainting oil on wall...
then he climbs climbs climbs... haha... i was holding my doll,
then watching him doing, i was very boring.
then i go to the room, the platform is linkin with the room's window.
then i watched out, dont know he saw me or not.
then i come back to the living room, he's still spaying...
when he leaves, he shaking his hand good bye to me.
haha!!! that's the sec fun thing since the trip started.

hummmm i feel good here, although there're too much chinese... haha..
may god blessing all of my family and friends, and of course my dearest darling.
=)
hope to do well on studies, and experience more.

>>April 27, 2005 at 2:45:14 AM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 23 日 星期六 【晴】

行李準備得7788 了.
帶得太多東西了, 我想少拿一些.

今天lunch 吃了雞湯米線呢! 好食~ 哈哈...
今天和 tung 通電話啦, 和 queenie 見過面, 和 jackie , shan 聊電話啦~haha..

hum... 心情有點 complicated,
好像好平靜, 比起去 singapore 平靜多了.
真好笑吧... 今次都算是實現夢想, 好不容易才來到這步.
為什麼我的心情卻是這樣冷淡呢.
有好多的不捨, 特別是自己的床, 自己的 table,
不捨得媽媽, 爸爸, 和妹妹, 還有很多朋友們, 還有他.
有點擔心囉, 因為不知道家的情況將會是怎樣...
也還有很多的問題會跟著來. 我都不怎麼開心吧.
而且我還擔心住在別人家會比自己家更不自由的.
她是我 aunt, 又是朋友嗎?
在 soeul 轉機, 其實我都有點擔心.
不知道應該怎麼處理, 也不知道應該怎樣去到 canada 的 consulate 取 visa.
還會擔心和 aunt 的 son 不知道怎麼相處吧.
hum... 到步不久, 很快便會考試了, 真的不知道會是怎樣呢.
haha... 可是也懷著喜樂的心情去吧 haha...

hum...
怎麼說呢,
今天還沒有機會跟他說話呢.
很快就要走了, 還會有機會嗎?

hum... 今晚不想早睡, 想看完 full house 的 結局和再收拾一下才睡.
我想禱告才睡. 想和朋友聊天以後才睡.
我想跟他說話, 想見到他才睡.
可以嗎?

god blessing...

>>April 24, 2005 at 2:05:16 PM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 22 日 星期五 【晴】

"Faith is a charisma not granted to all; instead man has the gift of thought,
which can strive after the highest things."
Carl Gustav Jung

A sudden rush of desire for someone whom you've previously considered
no more than a friend could come upon you today, dear Gemini, perhaps in
connection with a group activity of some kind. This might catch you off guard,
because you've never thought of this person in that way before. However,
don't write it off. If this person seems to share your feelings, think carefully
about the situation. Maybe this attraction shows promise!
***


heehee...

erm,............
today, i went to sha tin to join miki, then come back tai po to see queenie.
haha..

got darling's sms morning.
i'm....... sooooo supprised.
he suddenly told me he uderstand that the past months made me worried and
not fair to me. wa.... HE KNOWS IT.... well..... i'm glad to hear about =)
actually i think... since he told me he understand that, then... we should move on,
forget the unhappy things past, then to-ward future =) heehee

i sent him the last post today, heehee, by "fast post".
hope he'd recieve it on tue or wed.
i sent him candies, the craft, the doll, the letter =) heehee and my heart.

today is the last time to take train...
train is the transport i like most, fast and saft.
i growth with train... ve a lot of feelings in it.
and feels like i'm leaving my home, tai po, hong kong.
today i found some dark coners that i'd never noticed in the station before
haha...

anyway.
i give all to the dear jesus.
it shows my faith.
and darling always ask me ve faith in our relationship,
i'll try to,... that's my answer.
he said he loves me... he want...... blah blah blah...
that's forever.
hummmmmmm i want to be with him forever too, but we both ve to work hard.
coz i want him too =P
heehee.

>>April 23, 2005 at 1:16:06 PM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 21 日 星期四 【晴】

"The man who says what he thinks is finished,
and the man who thinks what he says is an idiot."
Rolf Hochhuth



haha!

today, finally got his sms again.
hummmm last night we chated.
and today we've talk on phone again.

ve+ing lunch with parents,
then go perm my hair... haha... kidding with wilson, my hair stylist. haha... so funny guy.
hummmm i m packing up my stuffs lor, almost ready to leave..
wyane called me last night, and sankie called me today too... haha.
but 10 pm, that's too late for me.

anyway,....
i miss my laogong lots and lots...
=S
feel like he's walking with me to home,
i sms him i'm on the way home, i'm at the door now, haha...
then i come bacn, drinking water, telling him i love him on phone
:>
heeheee... i think i cant leave him.
i'm really willing to be with him forever.
i think he's really tring to show me he does love me and tring his best with me also.
wow... actually i'm really touched and supprised he made that changes,
or maybe he doesnt change actually just i misunderstood him,
or he didnt ve chances to show me maybe.
anyway, i'm really touched and supprised. i couldnt say i dont love him now.
hummmm i couldnt leave him, or let him goes now.
that's amazing, what jesus promised me that he'd guide me all the time
when i'm willing to hang in all the things to his hand :) and i do.
actually i'm still giving thanks to jesus and praying that he'd give blessing for us.
might be we'd not be able forever,
but i do trust that we're willing to walk together.
i dont know what will happen, but i do trust there're lots of blessing !
he siad he's really unlucky, but i told him... nope,
he'd become so lucky, coz i did pray for him lots and lots...
so, jesus is watching us :) haha

let's pray hard together.
god blessing...

i love him =)

>>April 22, 2005 at 12:20:01 PM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 20 日 星期三 【晴】

Sharing:

He hasn't called. What do you do?
By Debbie Magids, Ph.D.


Sit on your anxiety; he may still call. That panic you feel is related to your fear that this will be another disappointment — and you do not want to deal with another disappointment.


Think about why there is so much riding on this call for you. This is not your last chance at love! This is less about him calling and more about how you feel about yourself.


Some women think it’s nice to call or email him the next day to say “thank you” for a fun evening. This is an attempt to keep the connection going while alleviating your fear that he won’t call. But what about the next time? Are you setting a precedent here?


Men are pursuers by nature, so if he’s interested, he will contact you. Try to stop worrying and go back to your life. Keep busy and keep dating. If he calls, great, and if not, you have to move forward.


Most importantly, remember that you’ve only known this man for a few hours — think about that!
Understandably, there are always exceptions to the above. There are women out there who’ve pursued men and wound up living happily ever after because of it, but they are in the minority. As a rule, no matter how great the date, trying to force a connection only wastes energy. The longer you’re preoccupied with this guy, the further away you are from finding your real prince.


***

=)

>>April 21, 2005 at 12:51:33 PM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 20 日 星期三 【晴】

HEY!!!!
I ' VE GOT MY DARLING'S E-CARD !
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME HE SENT ME E-CARD!!!
WOW!
HOW LOVELY AND PRETTY IS IT!!!
^^ HOW SWEET !
heehee~~~



"Freedom is always and exclusively the freedom for the one who thinks differently."
Rosa Luxemburg

Something might be bothering you throughout the day, dear Gemini -
but you won't know what it is! If you don't figure out what it is,
it could drive you crazy. Retrace your steps.
Has anything or anyone crossed your path today that reminded
you of an upsetting event in the past? If so, this could easily bring
about this reaction - but you need to know what
it is before you can release it.

***

hummmmm, i'm fine.
i still ve 3 days more will stay in hk.
i'm not sure will i come back in Oct actually.
coz the visa is for one or two years, and i may allowed working
after the course.so, i'm not sure will i be back after few months actually.
i dont tell much ppl about this, shan, queenie, jackie, tung,
some more friends know...
benny doesnt know. i didnt tell him yet. i couldnt arrsure how the situation would be.
by the way, this time i'm not going to ve vocation, so i'll take part-time job...
i know it'll be quite hard for me... the situation is not that nice as imagine.

i will pack up my stuffs tonight.
and tomorrow i'll go perm my hair again.
maybe will ve dinner with mcdonald's friends on Sat, or may not.
perhaps... before i left, i could see shan, queenie, jackie, tung,...
and some more friends again. maybe Sun? Sat?
rachel may come airport on monday, grandpa grandma will come,
but mom's dad doesnt come?
hummm i want him comes... i'll miss everyone and everything in hongkong.
joey? how's joey lately? hummm calais?
how about dennis and water, pky? e-man, celia?
ying ying? and shi hang? hong ? how about katy and ivy? kin man?
mei wan and bobo? sankie and sherin, wyane, kenny, steven, rachel, sum ?
hummmmmm... i miss tse sir, lee sir, ... many many ppl.
although i dont like contacting ppl, i dont like attending parties or gatherings...
actually i quite concern them lots... i dont like to ask, i dont like to call them...
but i do miss them alot. hum,.... so i feel really sad, and hope to see them
again before i left. maybe they dont feel like that?

of course i miss my darling too...
he's a really tough guy. great ... and i think we still ve very lon way to go,
so, we would know each others more, and we'd ve more beautiful life =)

hummm,...
i'll miss the dayssss being with my lovely friends...
and of course my lovely parents and cutiest sisters and relatives...
i miss them lots and lots.. and my darling...

>>April 21, 2005 at 9:46:25 AM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 19 日 星期二 【晴】

AiYa.

last night i've made the secesion.
i made that with him last night.
i trust him, i'll let him finish his stuffs first, then he'll let me know what happened.
i'll listen to him, concentrate on my studies, that's why he doesnt wanna share the risks with me.
he has to prove me his honest or faith, otherise we're gonna break up not too soon but not that far.
he has to show me he's really willing be with me.
i think this is our conclusion.
well, great.

thankyou for jesus... he does listen my prayssss... haha =)
hummm,... anyway, i feel nice. but the road would be harder and harder... i just need Jesus.
and perhaps he's really that guy for me, my mr.right.
he asked me what's the point if there's just only him wanna keep the relationship.
actually i want to keep it too, so i said i want too. yea... is that why we still could keep it?
i dont wanna quit, i hope he wouldnt make me hard that cause me to quit.
he said he doesnt ant to make me that hard so doesnt tell me alot of things.
but this make me feel like i'm not his girlfriend, and he knows my thinking.
seems like i hit my guess, i know he's this kind of person.
he doesnt like to tell, but it's his kind of personalaities, so i told him i dont wanna force him.
the conclusion is... we still keep it.
that's tring to keep it. i love this guy, i dont know why.
he told me alot of things... and he said rest assured, there's no third party.
haha... ah....huh....
i trust him, but i told him i'm still affraid that someday he'd mind of it, no matter how hard i try.
when there's comparson, temptation comes.
hummmm let it be.
coz i couldnt do anything too. i just love this guy.
of course i'm willing to walk with him, and just concentrate on him one guy only.

>>April 20, 2005 at 4:28:16 AM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 18 日 星期一 【晴】

hummm...

"The arrow belongs not to the archer when it has once left the bow;
the word no longer belongs to the speaker when it has once passed his lips."
Heinrich Heine

May 20 - June 20
If you're currently involved romantically, dear Gemini, don't be surprised if your significant other
feels especially sensual and passionate, and wants nothing more than an intimate evening
alone with you. You, however, might be tired and want nothing more than to crash on the bed
and sleep. There may seem to be no resolving this without one person being less than happy.
Try to talk it out. If you're single - no problem! Get some sleep!
***


i got nothing to say.

>>April 19, 2005 at 8:58:31 AM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 16 日 星期六 【晴】


"The greatest victory a man can win is victory over himself."
Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi

last night i've chated with aug,
he's going for the reservist in the coming two weeks.
hummmm i said then when i see him on line again must be after arrived vancouver.
i've told him,... we're breaking. i told him i want ben to do something... otherise i dont know what to do.
maybe we'll break up.... although he wants to be with me forever, he doesnt open up himself.
i cant see that could be true to us.
he comfort me... and he brings hope to me again...
he said, might be... when he knows he'll lose me, then he'd do something.
then i say, maybe he'll do something that coming to me, then say let's break.
hummm,... what's he thinking about?
i'll be totally disapointed if he finally give up.



好奇怪,... 我都唔知點解, 我會為佢咁緊張. 起初唔係講好左我唔會對佢咁認真咩.
我講過... 我會等佢放棄, 因為我知道佢會. 但係到而家, 我就唔想佢放棄.
我好唔相信佢, 一直都有好多事想要問清楚, 但係漸漸, 我已經唔再想知.
只係想佢過得好.
點解佢會令到我覺得失望呢. 我竟然對佢講過, 佢係一個衰人.
但係, 我就偏偏被呢個衰人搞到我咁辛苦.
慢慢就連我自己既態度都改變埋.
last night, aug 話, 叫我唔好令自己後悔, 有d野, 想做就要做.
其實由此至終, 我都.... 未知道自己想點做.
我只係因為過往既事一直謹謹於懷... 而且每一日都係到猜度緊我同佢既事.
其實我都唔開心. 都唔明白點解會同佢咁樣開始... 仲搞成咁.
呢段時間,... 唔知佢點呢..
咩鐘意一個人係咁ga咩. 我真係愈來愈唔明.
但係我每日都過得唔好. 雖然佢咁對我, 但係我就唔知點解我都仲係要放心唔落.
但係而家要放棄既人似乎唔係我.
咁即係咩意思呢.

>>April 17, 2005 at 11:34:49 AM GMT+8

2005 年 4 月 15 日 星期五 【晴】



Love is only known by him who hopelessly persists in love."
Friedrich von Schiller


Today i waked then ve lunch, and.... hang out with jackie and cathy.
haha... lovely friends.
i go to the... long ho fong. i've forgotten the name of the mall already.
we've nice drink, and nice food also.
we've ate the... rice noodle, that last time chris's mom brought me =)
hummmm i still remember last time we all d nice meal.
then we went to shang shiu, hummm then come back home.

hummmmmmmmmmm last night, i didnt sleep well of course.
then,.... dont know how about tonight.
jackie told me to forget everything about me and him.
shan is the only one who still trust me, i mean she trusts in ben also.
this.... is not the point...
right now, i ve no ideas already.
i know ben's a straight forward guy, he... hummm i still trust him,
but it's not what i concern now.
i just want to know what to do next.

keep praying hard and hard.
i feel so good to see jackie and cathy today =)
cathy 's the best friend of jackie, haha... jackie is one of my best too.
cathy is a really nice and kind girl. she's a beautiful soul... although i dont know her for long.
but last two years, i knew her already =P but we dont ve any contacts...
so this time i feel so glad to see her too.

anyway...
i just wanna cool down myself,and wait for the answer from jesus.
i still miss him much.



>>April 16, 2005 at 1:21:52 PM GMT+8