2005 年 3 月 27 日 星期日 【晴】

=)
today, i go shopping alone, feel so good.
very free,
i brought some personal stuffs, at a nice shop,
then i go to Ikea to buy some more boxes, very very nice boxes.

i get back home to tidy up my stuffs, till dinner,.... oh well =)

but...
i found my lovely clothes get red !!!.... oh my dear,... very expensive white clothes ....
it get red from my sg red bag Y.Y
oh dear ='<
tomorrow i will go suppermarket to get some telengent.
=(

sigh...
today i still vent got darling's news...
just now we have chicken for dinner, and just recall my hai nan chicken rice in sg.
with darling,...... uhhhhh..... i miss him so much...
i was thinking that, when i be in ca, then i eat chicken still will miss him what...
\and these days, i'm questioning myself, what i'll do,
as in the suitation that still vent his news, when i'm leaving...
i'm quite confused about my feelings would be like.... so strange!
and even now, .... uh.....uuuhhhhhhh...?
i dont know =(

huuuummmmmm,...
i'm quite sad about my work,
coz sankie 'd never called ... after last time i dump my job.
actually i expected her 'd call me for the schedul of 3rd April, although i've resigned.
opps,... she didnt. sigh,... i treat her as friend in my heart, but she's my head also...
so sometimes, conflicts exist. i've to protect myself and also need to care of her feelings.
long days ago, i promised her i'd help on 3rd, the birthday part. but she'd never called me to confirm.
hummmm,.... should i call her in stead?

last night i got the strange dreams again,
i dreamt of my old schoolmates, that two guys...
hummmm i dont know why they appeared in my dreams =S
they,... liked me =<
oh dear, what's wrong with my head huh?
maybe someday i'll find something.

anyway,
i'll be better off since i better be off.
ha...

i miss my darling...

>>March 28, 2005 at 2:33:23 PM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 26 日 星期六 【晴】

我仲以為今日會收到吉祥的 e-mail...
點知原來係無.

昨晚做了個怪夢.
我發夢, 吉祥原來係一直厄我...
佢send 左個 message 俾我, 話我知原來佢一直都係講大話.
我好 confused, 好唔開心.

點解呢排總係發埋d怪夢, 仲要次次都同佢有關呢...
我真係無哂 ideas le.

***
She Will Be Loved Lyrics

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my doors always open
You come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window,
Knock on my door
I wanna make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she Will be loved

(Try so hard to say goodbye)

I dont mind spending everyday (Try so hard to say goodbye)
Out on your corner in the pouring rain (Try so hard to say goodbye)
(Try so hard to say goodbye)
(fades out)
***
this song i found on plane, at my trip to singapore.
i really love this song and it's mtv lots.

***
Feel Lyrics

Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given

I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste

I don't want to die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her
I scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel real love
And a life ever after
I cannot give it up

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste

I just wanna feel real love
In a life ever after
There's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place

Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
****
this song is real, robbie william's life story.
"i just wanna feel real love and the home i live in,
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste"
he cant stand for the lyrics, then he run away from the studio.
i heard this song from ben's first ring tone.
i know he loves this song that's why.
and,...i dont know what to say now.

***
Because Of You Lyrics

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you
***
i'm not a tough girl
i need someone to protect me, and it's not the request for my friends,
i need someone, i just need someone,
and i dont want to be the twice lover.
i'm not going to do this, but plx tell me what to do.

>>March 27, 2005 at 6:41:58 AM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 25 日 星期五 【晴】

go to ve the ching ming festival gathering...at the morning,
then get back to tsim sha tsui to ve tea with those members of my mom's big family.
really nice day huh,

then go shopping with aunt, sheila's mom =)
and miki, at cause way bay, wow... really crowed for me.
then catch up with jackie and meibo,
haha, take the neo print, then i go to ikea to get some more different boxes,
quite expensive...
but i still ve to buy some more.

hummm shop for the wallet, bra, and the belt, all is the assisories.
nice nice nice.
i'd like to get a new brush in The Face Shop, a new store from korea, really nice shop with
kwon san woo, haha! one of my favourite actress in korea!!!!!!
and want the new shimmer colors cubes orsome new brousher? or a new brush.
i want the shimmer grey mascara =)
and the new lip gloss.
and i'm considering for the..... cleansers.

hummmmm,
i need something more...

hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
my the way,
where's my darling now?
how's he going???
i miss him so much.....
=(

got to tidy up my stufs again~
hummmmm,.... really miss him much and much.
always think of him...

>>March 26, 2005 at 2:46:33 PM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 24 日 星期四 【晴】

today i rest alot,
then tidy up my table... what a mess....
so dirty stuffs

oh my dear,
how's my darling today huh?

just now, and right now, i keep chating with Faric,
you know what he keeps asking for?
it's sex.
on line sex. he wants me. isnt it fun? huh? haha...
..... ermmmmm,...

i miss my darling lao gong so much...
i really miss him so much....so much so much...

i love him much.

>>March 25, 2005 at 2:21:23 PM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 24 日 星期四 【晴】

wow,
how nice look is it?!
re you glad to read my new diary?
it's pretty, cool and alwsome right?

i love my diary so much,
tomorrow, i'll go create another one at blogger.com,
nope, actually, i've an account there already for long, just go futher develpoe for... beaut.

hummm
***

i miss my darling so much...
i love him so much, my lao gong...

today school start holiday,
so we go to ma on shan with mom, to ve lunch with mom's dad and aunt.
nice! =)
then we went to sha tin, Ikea,
i've brought some nice boxes!!!
i got to tidy up my stuffs =(
and my table.
today i saw alot alot alot!!! ... of..... nice stuffs =) in Ikea. heehee
i've a bit ideas... for my ideal home, which for me with my darling lao gong, ben =)
i love him so much ^^

i've pray for ben, and my old schoolmate everyday.
really ..... plx... jesus to help them, to cule them well.
really hope they're getting well so soon.
=(

i wanna take care of him, my darling lao gong, but i couldnt.

but today is still fine, fresh.
coz resting enough at home.
nice nice nice.

hope my darling is alright.
i feel pain for him... =(

>>March 24, 2005 at 4:26:59 PM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 22 日 星期二 【晴】

hummm,

today i get back to store, to apply for resign.
then i go to mong kok,
with mei wen, my old friend,

then buy something, then get back to tai po,
meet up dad, then take taxi to home.


i miss my lao gong so much....
我真係好掛好掛好掛住佢.
心裡面好想好想照顧佢. 但係時間未到.
我還有好多抱負, 我還很年輕.
昨晚失眠, 心裡面一直想著他,... 其實每日都想著他, 無時無刻都想他.
再想下去時, 想到未來的家. 屬於我同佢既家.
再想, 想到我們會有小孩子, 我會好好教育, 栽培我地既孩子.
想到我們一起生活.
其實我們就怏踏入第八個月了.
hummm 心裡面有份開心.
但係呢八個月就實在發生好多事.
想起一開始到現在, 實在刻骨銘心, 那次他的意外, 之後到 army, 之後我去新加坡,
係新加坡個幾日, 我真係好難忘, 有時甚至以為自己發緊夢.
想起驚心動魄的情景, 想起我們開心的片段, 真係好想攬住佢.

而家, 我真係擔心佢, 希望佢係適合既地方有適合治療.
我真係好愛佢.

>>March 23, 2005 at 2:27:21 PM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 21 日 星期一 【晴】

B.A.D ---"我的錯"
作詞：楊明學　作曲：Minski


ＡＬＥＸ：飛機已離開機場，你選擇了前往你的方向，
不在迷惘．忘了我們愛的過往，忘了我給你的傷，學會堅強．

ＤＡＮＮＹ：從前的我不懂你犧牲多大，為我失去朋友不講，
還放棄了所有夢想，覺得沒怎樣，不會將心比心去想，
讓你慢慢慢慢失去了希望．

**ＢＡＤ：能不能夠再給我機會好好的愛你．
我會仔細的聆聽．你對我說的一言一語．

ＢｅＮ：我會學會去控制脾氣，不讓你傷心．
對你好好的去珍惜，請你相信我的心，還是愛你．

ＡＬＥＸ：我想再重來一次，回到過去彌補你的傷．
沒那種事，怎麼做才能夠停止，後悔竟傷你如此，不再放肆．

ＤＡＮＮＹ：為何總到失去才懂得難過，
當你在我身邊的時候總是為我默默守後，
都是因為我的錯，錯過這難得的擁有，就讓你愛我的心慢慢流走．

ＢＡＤ：能不能夠再給我機會好好的愛你．
我會仔細的聆聽．你對我說的一言一語．

ＢｅＮ：我會學會去控制脾氣，不讓你傷心．
對你好好的去珍惜，請你相信我的心，還是愛你．


this is from ben's ring tone.
i wanna search for the lyrics long time ago, coz i think the melody is quite beautiful...
today, right now, i just finally go searching it.
but i find... this is not my tone.
or not the tone for us.

i think over the lyrics, i remember i heard a story before, from him.
and i know this was the story with him and his ex-girlfriend.
when we were friend, one night he told me suddenly,
his ex-girlfriend getting married soon, and they'll lave singapore.
i ask him if he's missing her, he told me not, coz he need to move on his life.
i didnt care about what happened, coz ... you know, it didnt that matter for me.
but i knew he's feeling not well.

now, i know he really got missing her alot.
even the ring tone for me, still using that song, to remind himself about her?
he wants me stop asking him about his past, but he'd never end up the story with her.
oh.... all of the sudden, now i know....
the story is not ended yet.

today i wake up, i'm upset... about my strange dreams...
the night before, i dreamt of someone, who liked me before,
i dreamt that we were at college, very sweetly. he told me he liked me again.
well,....but i'm questioned about it after waked.
last night, i dreamt that i was at the old house, waiting for his call,
suddenly getting the call from ben's.
but that was a girl, who calling me. she asked me if i knew jenny or not. she didnt know who i'm.
i ask her who's jenny. she silence....
i told her i'm ben's girlfriend. then, she kept silence.
the line is droped,
i called back, but i was too nervous,
i dial wrong numbers, wrong number again and wrong number again.
then finally , it'd never connected.
why she got my number from ben? why she contact me? and why she just asked if i know jenny?
but she didnt know me, didnt know the relationship between us.
why? this is so strange ! i mean the dream.
you know, whati dream is... representing what i think? or pretending something happened?
that's lot of meanings... i'm quite questioned about that.

seems like... something going to happen.
and it is.
coz after that, i just go normal in my life, eating, after eating, i come on line...
then i suddenly remember that i wanna search for that ring tone.
then i find that it's the ... story behind... aout his past with his girlfriend.
that's all series.... hummmmm.... i'm quite confused.

***
by the way,
the icon of the cinderella and snow-wife at the right collum could be moved to anywhere.
just try it, it's quite fun.

>>March 22, 2005 at 5:54:24 AM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 20 日 星期日 【晴】

if you're me, what 'd you do?

i dont wanna worse the job, that's why i'm gonna resign so fast.
i still love my job that's real. but i'm just tired of everything.
it's not my dream job what....
everything is changed.
maybe i need to think about my working attitude. to adjust the new direct...???
but i dont fake, i cant lie, i 'm responsibility for my job that's why i dont wanna carry on.
i wanna keep my heart, keep the fire burning on duty.
it's not easy to keep 100% attention to everything, perfectly.
it's not the matter on my want, but hard to do ...
ve to be very concentrated.
but i ask myself, if i keep working till the day i'm leaving... that's impossible.
it's not my ideal job, i cant, or i 'm not willing to work out my best.
i'm very seriously. the best is for the best.
if this is my life work, i'll give out all, but unfortunately, this is not what i want.
but i appricate my work, my teamates and my head lots and lots.
i learn alot at mcdonald's, i learn alot from them and i really love them and the little star room.
you now, me and ben, my lao gong... got started when i was on phone in the star room.
from my job, i really learn alot. and the team work, that's i really appricate one.
and... this is very very excited to get my first time salary, and pretty happy and ...
nervous, excited, but enjoyable to... help sankie or represent for star II to
attending to the store tour meetings or big funtions, or.... working together,,, or.. everything.
it's pretty good for everything in star team with all my teamates, especially with sankie.
i work for star II for a year and a month, that's pretty beautiful in my life.
i love my days in mcdonald's really much.
i love the days being very very... busy, like the war games hahaha...
i love the days being sad in star room, i love the days,... working... talking, chating,.. meetings...
actually i miss my job i miss them.
this is the end of my job at mcdonald's.
i still remember that the first day i step in star team, i step in any funtions...
all not for the salary, but for my dream.
i wont forget those forever. that meant me so much...

you know, i got darling's e-mail last night.
hummmmm,...... lao gong got dangue fever. and he's still struggling with his family problems.
he might end up all the ties with his dad.
nessanary?
i'm not sure, he didnt tell much.
the problem is he's not good at telling, or sharing. he told me he also dont know how to tell me.
hummmm, i say i wont force him, but since two people going together, that mean...
they're willing to share everything with each others.
i'll be really glad when he wanna share with me whatever.

bad news from my old schoolmate...
someone got cancer. of course cant tell out who's that guy.
but i'm realy sorry to hear about. and i'll praying for the guy.

i got back all the documents from consulate since weeks ago? (around)
then i've brought the large suit case already... ermmm,....
the airticket is almost firmed.
i'm leaving on 24 th April if there's nothing wrong during these days.
that's very excited if i got ready for everything.
hummmmm...

i wanna talk with my lao gong. but he's never called me yet.
i'm still waiting for him.
he got dangue fever. i'm ... sorry. haha...
oh my god...haha...
he told me he doesnt know why he's so unlucky.
that's what i've told him also! haha.. that's what i think but real, right?.....
oh my... haha...
dear, .... i've nothing to say.

i still ve one day to work, that's 3rd April, my last day.

>>March 21, 2005 at 9:16:47 AM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 19 日 星期六 【晴】

today, i decide to resign.

i ve lots to say,
but not now.

i got the e-mail from darling...
he got the dangue fever.

>>March 20, 2005 at 4:48:08 PM GMT+8

2005 年 3 月 18 日 星期五 【晴】



>>March 20, 2005 at 4:46:51 PM GMT+8