Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Tough working of my brain.
today i work from 8 am to 7 pm.
i waked at 6:15 am that's really early !
when i come back i feel so tired.
***
sharing--- Hilary Duff--- someone watching over me.
I found myself today
Oh, I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
Voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
But you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight
[CHORUS]
So I won't give up
No, I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark
I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
Seen that red light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I won't be afraid
To follow everywhere its taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams
[REPEAT CHORUS]
It doesn't matter what people say
It doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself
And you'll find how
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself
And follow your heart
So I won't give up
And no, I won't break down
Sonner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark
I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No, I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark
I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me
Yeah, yeah
Oh, oh, someone's watching over me
***
hummmm darling still vent contacted me yet.
i think..... he'd let me know when he really got missing me?
if our love is not strong enough, then the way may tend to end up....maybe.
i dont understand, dont know why he doesnt willing to share with me,
last night i chated with friends,
including Jackie, Shan,.... my closed friends in this world.
and Aug, his friend...
actually, i ve not much to say,
but i did say alot. coz i'm confused, by his words, darling's words i mean.
he need to straighten his thoughts, he need to cool down himself,
how many days?? hummmmm from last Friday till today, Wed,
5 days already.
if someone reallt treat me as the best, the dearest, closest...
they would let me know what's always going on with them.
eventough couldnt help, they still 'd let me know,
coz we always giving support for each others.
maybe coz he's a man?
but even just 5 days, it takes too long already, for me.
i cant ... believe that my man 'd going through something bad behind me.
i couldnt believe i could accept my man doesnt willing share his sadness with me.
he told me he'd never left me,
but right now, he left me away, struggling stuffs himself alone.
so, what's different?
he might not going to tell me what's wrong.
maybe things happening too suddenly...
but for me, there's just only one line,
between the lie or the truth,
that means believe or not.
all could be just the excues, or reasons
i'm damn tired of this thought already.
i dont want to think over it again,
it wont stop till i'm mad.
promises are not used.... till you're really done.
whatever he says, just the sentence only if he 'd never ever make it true.
no matter how much he tells me he's willing to do,
that's all just nothing if he doesnt step out it.
" plx dont feel sorry for me. "
posted by Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff @ 10:17 PM
>>March 16, 2005 at 2:50:12 PM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 14 日 星期一 【晴】
i feel so bad today,
i brought the clothes today, nice shirt.
i hang around... with shan, nice, thx for her.
or actually i should learn something today?
i'm not sure.
***
sharing:
Michael Buble-- Home
Another summer day
has come and gone away
In Paris or Rome...
but I wanna go home
...uhm Home
may be surrounded by
a million people I
still feel all alone
just wanna go home
I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters
that I wrote to you,
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane, another sunny place,
I'm lucky I know
but I wanna go home
I got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living
someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
when everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream
but you always believed in me...
Another winter day
Has come and gone away
in either Paris or Rome
and I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
still feel alone
Let me go home
I miss you , you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
baby I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
it'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home"
***
very nice and touching
>>March 15, 2005 at 11:35:55 AM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 13 日 星期日 【晴】
today,
i went to the consulate again.
this must be the last time =)
then i went to dad's office, to help him collect some documents,
then i go to cheung sha wan to take the form,
then go to tsun wan, jackie's school, catch her up, then we eat...and talk.
i've called darling twice, then the sec time i left him message,
i think he's still in sad, i shouldnt bother him.
then, i left, but going to kowloon tong to catch up shan and queenie,
we walk around then sit down to ve dinner,
i vent eat, but drink some nice juice,
then we chat alot, quite nice =)
then we get back to tai po,
o the way, i ate the magum again!
since that time i tried on plane, i love it!
then, shan confort me lots, thx for the sweet girls today and tonight.
lunch, i've tried the food from the.... PRET, from centrel mrt station.
very nice hand made sandwiches and the raspberry pie.
i take my lunch alone outside, at the park of the cultural centre, tsim sha tsui.
after lunch, i sense it.... is the .... sandwiche shop which, darling and me and angeline
had lunch at the last day of my trip! nonono!!!
not us, is darling's meal only!
coz me and she already lunch during darling to joint.
wow =) sweet.
by the way, i'm worried for darling, ..... =(
hummmmm hope he's alright. and hope someday he'd learn to share his sadness with me,
i wont call him in the coming days,.... shan suggests me to left him space to cool down first.
yea, that's what i toward also.
i'll keep praying for him.
thx for jackie, shan and queenie today and night,
thx alot....
and congraduation to queenie! =)
god blessing.
>>March 14, 2005 at 3:02:24 PM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 12 日 星期六 【晴】
today, i rest alot,
sleeping, eating then resting, sleeping, eating again.
feeling not well, not of my body, but my darling.
does he feel..... better today?
today, i got the bad feeling on it. i feel bad,
coz... yea, that's good to get his e-mail about why he didnt call,
but that's... a bit worried for him... and he is not ok to tell me what happened.
i know he........ changed lots already, and that's from his love to me.
that's for no doubt.
and 100% for sure that i'm totally confident with him.
i trust him and love him, that's for sure, no doubt already.
i hope, i pray for him, that he'll be fine, and be ok to .....
open up himself, no more hide away... no more hiding up,
i just want him to share me problems, not reporting me.
i want he learns to share but not the report.
i'm not his boss but his girlfriend, *(oh my god, i'm tear-ing)
i'm not asking him to share me what, if he's not ready to do so,
but i hope... i hope someday he 'd learn it.
coz that's the only way to let him explosive himself, to get over from the past or unhappy things.
i'm not his boss or teacher or tutors, i hope so at least.
i hope i'm someone he really want to spend the life along with. *(oh dear, tears cant stop)
i want to stay with him whenevr he need me or not.
i've called him two times today,
but not connected.
i left him voice message, i said i dont care why he didnt take my call,
but i... dont want him to hide up himself, ve to face to the problems, whoever regarding of.
family, work or even me.
i didnt prepare what to say, but actually i 'd never wanna bother him,
yea that i told him too,
but actually i wanna say i'll support him forever, and love him, and dont wanna give up with him.
i want him to stay strong, no matter what.
i hope he 'll contact me when he's ready, when his mind got set free.
i just love him so much.
and now i find that finally that's for no doubt anymore,
and actually that's since long time ago, and i didnt find that.
how could it be? actually i didnt find out how sure i loved him?!
vent i always loved him?
i'm so...... suprised for that?
i wanna ask myself too.
HAVENT I ALWAYS LOVED HIM??
at this moment, i just wanna give him a big hug,
and telling him i'm at his side, and never ever get away, i'll be always with him forever.
i just love him forever.
plx dont leave me away.
although i got his e-mail, he told me he'd really love me alot,
and never ever leave me, cheat on me or dump me, he just got something bad happened
with his family, making him sad,
i just wanna bring him some supports, blessing and wanna send him my love,
no matter what's his problems, all of mine also.
i wanna share his difficulties, but i wont force him.
i wanna support him...
what can i do?
io just keep praying for him,
waiting for his call, waiting for his news.
i'm sad too,
but i know this moment, i cant fall down,
i ve to stay strong for him.
at least i cant give up what.
give blessing for us, especially for him plx .
god blessing,
praying hard.
>>March 13, 2005 at 2:52:58 PM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 11 日 星期五 【晴】
today i feel so bad.
i work from 8 - 5:30 pm.
that's crazy. keep working, really pretty busy at the whole day.
non-stop, i work for 8 hrs, then take the first break.
that's.....!!
but you know, the birthday party was terrible today. i feel so sorry for that.
=(
sankie.... blamed us, all of us.
sigh... sigh sigh.....
at the morning i saw mable, then afternoon i saw queenie, wow, what a lucky day hee.
but i am totally tired ...
it's that we dont want to try our best, but we didnt do the best yet.
and actually i should do better......... but i didnt, cant work out....
=<
yesterday or.... someday??
i replied darling about the e-mail imediately.... hummmmmm i'm a little bit worried for him.
perhaps he'll be fine soon.
i dont know what to say, but wanna give him some support lor.
hummmmmmmmmmm i know he'll be fine.
你感動的眼睛 我沉默的聲音 彷彿就是最好的證明
就讓我在說一次 I love you oh (直到永遠)
Forever Love Forever Love Forever Love
我只想用我這一輩子去愛你
從今以後 你會是所有 幸福的理由
Forever Love Forever Love Forever Love
*** the song for my darling love, my lao gong.
>>March 12, 2005 at 3:38:53 PM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 10 日 星期四 【晴】
right here,
i'm going out, to catch up my friend, rachel,
then i will go walk around, till 6 pm, we'll ve sca meeting at store.
today i ve lunch at home, watching dvd, relaxing life.
hummmmm,..... life is simple, relaxing, but a bit.... feeling like nothing to do.
working is tough, but sometimes is fun,
that day, i meet a japanese professor.
he gave me the name card, to visit him when i go japan, tokyo. haha..
i enjoy my life, but i think i can do better than now.
maybe just take a long break, then i've to work harder.
but now is not the right time with the right job. hummm job is kindda experience.
alone is so free, i would like to enjoy my life for myself rather than with many people.
maybe i should being myself.
i dont really like party, or staying with lots and lots ppl, i like the days just being alone.
i can do whatever i want, eat, cook whatever i like, can really enjoy my life style.
mom always complian that i should always tidy up my room or my desk.
but actually i dont really like my space or place, that's why...
i love my life style, but i'm just too young ving my own life without my family.
my aunts love me so much, and my grandpa(mom), when they know i'm fighting for my dream,
they all support me lots and lots. they wanna treat me lunch or dinner, wanna buy me present,
appricate me lots, even though i'm just leaving for 4 or 5 months.
even my aunt, who's my dad dear friend, be plesure taking care of me on my vancuver life.
one of my aunt, and grandpa(mom) they support me financialy.
see the different directly from my gandparents in dad's right?
that making me feeling really really touched, and also knowing that in this world, there's no one
could really help me in case i give up myself.
and the most important thing is taht, if you wanna achieeve the dream you musy willing to pay,
not talking about the money, money is not the point.
that's your heart, your mind, what you think and do. and you ve to ask for god.
i keep praying, and always wanna give up,
but again than again, god telling me that i've to keep climbing, that's the trusting and the paid.
then we should left our worries to the one we trust, jesus.
that day i went to sha tin with my sister,
three church buddies come to talk with us.
i was feeling a bit.... sorry to jesus.
coz i was .... i dont know what to say. please wait for me, i'm willing to glory Him, buit not
now, coz i'm still very weak for that. i'm fear that i cant go to heaven,
but i also fear that others cant go there too !
especially those i love, my lao gong, my family, my friends... so ...
just now, few mins ago, i got the e-mail from darling,
what happened? hummmm he said he need time and space to struggle his family stuffs.
many unhappy things happened in family.
i'll wait for him patiently... i wanna give him my totally support too.
hummmm i'll pray for him.
i love him really much. i really willing to walk with him forever too.
>>March 11, 2005 at 6:44:12 AM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 9 日 星期三 【晴】
Brian McFadden
Almost Here-----
Brian: Did I hear you right?
'Cos i thought you said,
Lets think it over.
You have been my life,
And I never planned,
Growing old without you.
Shadows bleeding through the light,
Where the love once shined so bright,
Came without a reason.
Don't let go on us tonight,
Love's not always black and white,
Why haven't I always loved you?
Delta:
And when I need you
You're almost here
And I know thats,
Not enough.
And when I'm with you,
I'm close to tears,
'Cos you're only almost here.
Brian:
I would change the world,
If I had a chance,
Oh won't you let me.
Treat me like a child,
Throw your arms around me,
Oh please protect me.
Both: Bruised and battered by your words,
Dazed and shattered now it hurts.
Brian: Oh havent I always loved you?
Delta: And when I need you
You're almost here
And I know thats,
Not enough.
And when I'm with you,
I'm close to tears,
'Cos you're only almost here.
Delta: Oooh oh
Both: Bruised and battered by your words,
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Brian: Haven't I always loved you?
Delta: But when i need you,
You're almost here
Brian: Well I never knew how far behind I left you
Delta: And when I hold you,
You're almost here
Brian: Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
Both: And now I'm with you,
I'm close to tears
Brian: 'Cos I know I'm almost here.
Both: Only almost here
****
Ryan Cabrera
True ----
I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me
you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm
I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster
[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you meant me!
[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true
[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
****
What the beautiful songs here.
lately, i found the nice webby that could creat own blogger radio on web.
but after created, i found that i need a really large space to upload my own mp3,
by the way i dont really donwload songs from net, how come i could upload my own songs to net?
i even dont ve the download system.
so i quit it.
last night i was damn tired, i slept at 11 pm that's really early for me.
i even didnt want to take dinner, but i wish to watch " da chang jing " heehee,
that's the really nice korean tv series.
last night i almost fell down... but i feel alright today.
i stay at home rest a lot =P
hummmm, darling is alright is it? i think so.
i'm just being well with myself. i wish he's here with me right now,
but i dont really care if he's really here... coz i know that's impossible.
i enjoy my days really much.
but i admit that i need him =) heehee
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Brian McFadden
Someone who know