2005 年 1 月 12 日 星期三 【晴】

hum,.... in these days i cannot conect to net.

well,...... i ve another view in these days,...
i'm so proud of him, coz he could be able to help for the south asia tsunami.

but last night i've cried in bed,
so badly....
what to say..... i've pray... then i cried to jesus.
why i love someone i dont really trust, that's so pain...
i'm proud of him, if he's really sent to help for the south asia,
but if he just cheated me,... but that's not i hope to be last.
i've thought of the worst situation that i cant contact him there, or it's the fact that i cant take...
that means,... any cheating, or finally i cannot find this person, the truth in sg,
or at least to let me prove there's someone really exist.
the best is that everything under god's control... i'll be safe... and i really hope to see him in face.

i've a lot to share...
write back soon....

last night, or when,... i've forgotten the date already,
i was in the ocean palace for the anu-dinner.
hum,... there're some misunderstanding, hum,... hard feelings,... but fine anyway.
very nice experience.
we've chat alot, with snkie and mei. they're my nice tutors in life =)
by the way,...
thankyou for everyone in mcdonald's, workmates or whoelse... they're relly kind to me.

hum,...i really miss him much.
i dont know what to do, but i know god's here helping me, blessing us.
and i've pray to him... so,... i knopw that jesus is always here for us.

will his brother contact me? i dont know,
will it be able to contact anyone know him in sg? i dont know..
will i get mad ? maybe?
i'm not sure... just wanna ve a nice experience there, at least enjoy it myself.
i just want to see him in face. i just wanna tell myself that he's true, not cheating me.

>>January 14, 2005 at 9:06:07 AM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 11 日 星期二 【晴】

it has been long time ago...
i hesitated too much.
sometimes i think i should stop.
coz i dont understand what he thinks, or why he acts.
is it me to think too much? maybe...
but if we cant match up each others, that means...

i dont know what will happen la...

just now, lim chat with me, she says... maybe he's sent to help for the tsunami....
i dont know, maybe. and perhaps.
but should be, isit?

ai...
let it be...
i''m so tired already...

i'm going off now castor, ve a nice day =)
work hard, and stay happy, live your own,
shine your day, take care, sleep more, rest more.
castor, no matter how the situation worse, stay strong.

>>January 12, 2005 at 3:02:57 AM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 10 日 星期一 【晴】

if you keep me down, i rather go away.

today, i vent got his call...
what's the hell going on? his brother told me he'd be back tonight, but wrong message again?
or just joking me? fooling me around?

today, i wake up, then get back to store,
i ve to prepare for the dinner...
hum,... tonight, same position, but one more, to send flower to the singer.
anyway, today, i've seen the singer, whoes really like jacky cheung! i feel so glad!
we dance tonight, so nice... food is ok, anyway, nice day, except my love life, everything is nice.

fandy chat with me today, she asks me if i'd stay here long, she suggests me other jobs,
but still welcome me to help her on work, just experience.
coz she finds that i can do a better job in stead of mcdonald's.
i say might not. coz of the syudies, and my dreams.
and sankie also.... say that, she doesnt mind if there's any gossip behind us.
that's great. but actually i wont stay for long.
but sankie told me that anita might likes me, so i ve to do better, take chances, thx.

anyway, tomorrow, same jobs...


i dont know what to do, as in the situation that he's always like that.
why cant him just contact me when he arrives?
why he's always like that?
has him home yet?
for me, no excues... i know it might be so hard to change his habits,
i'm not going to change him what. but i just want him to respect me a bit.
a message is enough, i dont need you to call me, or i dont need you to wait for my call in sleep,
i just want you to let me know you're home. is it that hard to do?
just hope that i'll get the answer so soon...
perhaps tomorrow i'd get his call,
or someone let me know he'll still staying in the camp for how long.

you know, i feel so hard...
that's not the castor i know. i think i should stop. and the relationship cant keep long.

i get sick..couth.... so sick....
=S

>>January 11, 2005 at 4:02:46 PM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 9 日 星期日 【晴】

i want to sing k ar, and also wanna ve the $5 toys =)
i wanna go celebrate the new year there !
that's the new wishes to do there.

today i wake at 3:30 pm, cool.... first time huh~

i ve ate alot, coz very very hungry?
anyway, i will start on diet tomorrow, coz i get fat in these dayssss.
i got to calm down my weight.

today i didnt go out with kenny la, coz i'm so tired, and i'd never contacted him.
good to hear about is it?

castor might get the call from benny tomorrow,
it doesnt seem nice to be,
coz benny will bring a message to castor that he might not be there when castor comes.
that's the really really worse situation maybe.

anyway, tomorrow got to work, and will help in dinner,
nice, i dont set you up, sankie, but i just do my part... that's true from heart.
i'd never do that, trust me,... hum,... i'm always affraid that sankie feels bad for that.
but i dont know, she hasnt shown me what. perhaps she'd understand that i'll leave soon.
and i'm not going to bother her path, coz i ve my own dream to go, my way to do...

i ve to plan my trip from today,... hum... i dont know la...
yesterday, i meet kenny right?
then i gotta thx for him actually, coz ... what to say....
hum,... he told me he'd never expect what to do, where to go before meet me.
coz the trip depends on who he meet, how he thinks imediately.
that sounds nice.
and for me,
i dont ve to expect what right?
just by feelings, then i think i'll be under the plans from jesus.
dont need to be worried, and all will be fine.
just perhaps i can meet benny there.
and i know jesus knows me, He does plan the best for me =)
He'd never put me down.

>>January 10, 2005 at 11:17:08 AM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 8 日 星期六 【晴】

fine fine fine...

today i ve the sandwiches before lessons...
hum,... very nice, and congraduation to myself first,
coz i got the price =)
and our team is the best team =)
i also got the gloden pins for my final result =)
very good result.

then we're very good friends now, and coz we're from different stores,
so we exchange our experience, and diccuess a lot of situation...
and by the way, i've learnt so much thing in this course,
about working, duty, and for life.
i think it really helps me lots along.
thankyou to sankie and fandy also =)

our team got the little price, and we sign on the names for each others in group =)
so nice!!!!
actually i'vent known about the 5 charaters in mcdonal's...
haha, but after the course, i do know each of them well =)

hum,... when i get back to store, on street.
a guy say hi to me, to greet me...
then,.... coz i was wearing the uniform, so i did chat with him.
he's from the south affrica, a black guy.
he's very friendly and nice.
we're going out tomorrow maybe........ i'm not sure.... seems like i shouldnt go out with him.
i think he would come to store to find me later ... anyway, let's see...
coz tomorrow i'll off, so free...

but on tue and weds i will go helping for the aneuel dinner again...
and i know =) that i'm going to greet my teamates!!! ^^ so nice!
then on thursday to off,
and the friday got the mid-term for usu.... erh..... bad...
but i will try my best =) i know i'll do the best.

kenny sent me to the kcr station,
then i back to tai po, and eat out with family outside...
i know a sales man tonight, when i'm alone.
maybe coz of the uniform =S ?
hum,... he has been our customer... by the way, in these two days, i do meet alot of new people.
especially the csa from other stores, the other lsm co, the star cos, and three males.

just now, talk with his brother...
i didnt know is his brother or not that's why i go greet him.
is his brother.
hum,... suddenly, he shows me the display pic that's benny with his ex-girlfriend.
i'vent seen his face as clear as this time.
long time before he sent me, but i deleted already.
so... this is the sec time for me to see his face again, but with his ex-girlfriend.
and why he did that? i mean author, why he did that?
is he checking me? sick.... i said i'm not going to bother you, goodnight and thx then i do my stuffs,
then after few mins, i try to close the window, then i found the pic changed into this one.
actually i do mind seeing this picture from him but not benny.

i feel a little bit confused with that.
ok fine.... i dont care about it anymore,
coz i'd know the ans when i come. if benny is cheating me, ok fine.
if he's not, but i still will considering about the relationship could keep long?!
i might stop it.

benny is a handsome guy, that's real.
the one i always see on line is not his brother maybe,
the one i always chat with, aug, might be the same person as them.
dont ask me to trust these three men,... it is so...............
and i feel so strong that... i got cheated.

i'll check out the ans when i get there.

>>January 9, 2005 at 2:17:36 PM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 7 日 星期五 【晴】

So nice!!!

i was late today la...
today , i go to TDC to attend to course, the csa course 1.
hum,... actually, our group is the best of all.
we got 65 points... around.
much higher than the other groups =)

hum,... tomorrow go there again.
i met alot of new friends today =)
but, by the way, i'm not sure they're the real friends or just pass by.
coz you know... i ve to meet friends, but the friendship will not last long,
coz i got too less time to develope friendships with people.

hum,... anyway, i feel noce =)
coz i learnt alots today, and learn from others, that's very nice =)
and i think my apperance is not bad =)
but .... i miss him very much... i'm not sure about the day we would meet.

i just talk with aug just now...
hum,... he got the same thought as mine, hum,... he 's lack of planing,
not sure everything till the last min. that's him. and i feel so tough...with that =S
coz i'm not that kind of person mah.
hum,... coz i'm confident of the things i'm doing, or going to do...
i 'd know what to do, otherise, i'll be scared or i'll be lost.
i wont be 100% sure for everything i decide on, but at least 70%.
and alomst everytime, i'd hit the point i set.
but benny,... aiya.... i just find that he's that kind of person after these months.
maybe that's why he always says... he need me to be his sec?
hum,... =S
i dont know, most i concern now is about his safty and the days of my trips with him.
i 'll pray hard about it.
and i do concern on the tsunami and the earthquake.
aug and me also think... he'd be sent there to re-serv.
hum,... oh dear,.... wish you luck...
coz aug says... during the re-serv, you'll be changed into many postition apportunities.
so,... you know man... he'll not be able to come back tomorrow maybe.
and he just cant control it =(
bad bad bad... but maybe at the last min, supprise coming.
aug is his friend... he told me he's a nice guy...
hum,... i dont know, but we would see.

god bless~
coz we do love god.
hum,... god bless...

>>January 8, 2005 at 2:24:42 PM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 6 日 星期四 【晴】

tired la... waiting for him,
miss him much.

hum,... ai...
dont know what to do till he contact me =(

hum,... i'll take course tomorrow from 8 am - 5 pm.
tough man...
and there's the place last time we had the meeting.
no connecting signal there... shit... then sunday benny would call me maybe,
so i also cant get his call there =(

>>January 7, 2005 at 3:22:37 PM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 5 日 星期三 【晴】

昨晚...
前晚...
前晚,

11月5日-------
我好晚才回到家, 中午之後上班, 2-10 pm,...
回到家之後打 report, 打到 3:00 am 多, 差不多 4:00 am 才睡覺...

11月6日-------
7:00 am 就起床, 8:00 am 前回到 store, print 好, 處理好之後就趕去 025 take over,
優差.
之後4:00 又趕返去 store, 準備 aunel dinner d野,
我昨晚就是負責做接待, 接待 joe lau, 個個香港代表.
呢,...個d 扶持老人家上台個種囉.
就係咁囉, 之後我要同d star, star co 一起坐.
hum,... 好有趣, 好好玩既一晚, 都幾 high ga, 哈哈...
sankie 同我講左d野, 佢話d咩其實唔係咁重要囉, 因為講真的唔打算轉 full time.
可惜嗎? 點微啦, 因為我知道我會有更好的發展.
tsang 指明, 如果有空的話, 要我 11, 12 晚都要幫忙.
但我 feel 到 其他 star 唔鍾意啦, 其實 fandy 都唔 like ga, 但係無計之嘛~
sankie 就無野囉, 佢都幾開心~ 因為我係佢"條靚"吧.
車~我對呢 d野好敏感既~ 不過... 咁黑暗既野, 我都唔想理lu~ 反正又唔係做得長.
玩左一晚, hum,... 都係開心既, 有份幫忙吧. 呀 mei 昨夜好古怪... 無計啦...唉...
我諗, 昨晚是我人生中第一晚工作年夜飯, 也只會是only的一年係 mcdonald's食年夜飯.
所以我好興奮ga! =p
不過, 我真係好掛住 吉祥~

呢兩日, store 都有 sell bears 來籌款俾今次事件,我指south asia...
我都幾努力去 sell.

hum,... 好累lu, 好可能係懶惰囉, 今晚要返學...
er,... 我呢排食多左好多野, 肥左好多,... 慘呢,....
我地到底最終係點呢? 好掛住 吉祥~

>>January 7, 2005 at 5:46:13 AM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 4 日 星期二 【晴】

today is ok.

hi,
today we ve chinese food for lunch with aunt, she's back.
we've discssed about the plan to canada.
anyway, it's nice.

after lunch, i went back to work,... from 2- 10 pm.
hum,... almost 8 pm, i got the job assignment...
but cant use the computer long,... so after 8 30 pm i go to take the sec break,
9 pm dennis and calais come to find me =) haha
then i left at 9 30 pm.
i take my assignment home to finish , till just finished, 3:01 am.
i feel so tired and hungry now...

by the way, i've finished the paper work la~ haha,
but tomorrow got to back to store at 7:30 am, coz ve to prepare well before i go to store 25.
i'll take over tomorrow till the aunl dinner.
tonight sankie asked me that anita( the lsm co.) wants me to hellp her in the function.
wel,... for me it'll be always welcome.... i say no problems,
sankies said that 'd be quite tough for me from morning working till night.
i say no problems, coz i used to be like that at college.
but,.... i think it might not be that good for me la... but i still want it =)

hum,... i go to bath and rest first.
tomorrow must be great.

and i 'm looking for the store to exchange money for my trip... hee...
but i still not got his call yet.
so tough...

hum,... maybe 11 th - 13 th i ve to work for the functions, well, looking forward for it.

i miss him really much man...
god bless plx~

>>January 5, 2005 at 7:05:42 PM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 3 日 星期一 【晴】

i dont get his news yet.
why?

i'm not sure when he will contact me.
his brother got listen wrongly?
that's soooooooo bad =(

today working is boring, so we chated alot and joke alots.
hum,... tomorrow will go ve lunch with aunt. good.
then i will go to work.

vincent's birthday today, happy birthday =)
and then,....hum,... nothing special today.

on thu,
we will ve the auneul dinner=) before, i'll go to store 25 to take over.
nice =)

i'mstill waiting for his call.... =S

>>January 4, 2005 at 2:44:09 PM GMT+8