finally got his call this evening,
he study till 4:30 am last night.
bad mood today,
dont know what to say.
but i know i'm so brave =)
hum... let's think what to do next...
jesus,... i know i ve to wait, my efforts wont be wasted.
***
grand-pa,ma wont support me to study abord.
but it cant stop my mind, i'll keep looking for chances till the last min.
>>January 31, 2005 at 1:02:16 PM GMT+8
2005 年 1 月 29 日 星期六 【晴】
hihi~
last night chated with darling late...
i waited for 2 hrs, almost off.
i was asleep la...
by the way, today we go to po toi oh again...
ok ok la, family day.
then come back, mei ki go hair cut.
ok ok la...
hum,... after back, i sleep.
then i got his call finally.he said the connect system got problems...
alright.
talk later on line.
alright.
yea.
last night i dreamt that i go to singapore again !
aiya...
actually the today of last week, i was in singapore, the last night.
then,... at 10:22 pm,
me, aug and chris having dinner together! haha... actually mightbe still at starbucks what!
haha!!
and that night i was really sad, and disaapointed. coz on sunday...
he told me he want to sleep and rest, dont wanna go out with me.
i cried and cried...
but monday of last week, then,... we hug together, and kissed.
that's....
for me, i didnt want to bring what memorries to here,
coz i want to come back to the real life, to hong kong.
my trip is like the dream, is excellent. i cant forget this trip,
and feel so hard to come back.
tears down when i was on plane to back.
when we hug, tears down,...
for me,... or for us,... we choose to keep on,
but that's the very tough way to go.
i dont know what to say.
i dont want to forget the days in singapore, but i got to come back my life in hongkong.
he asks me to stay strong.
i would.
last night i told him what happened at store, about threee men,
then he wants me to be careful, coz he's not here to protect me...
he's worried.
then i know, but,... actually we got nothing to do with that.
so? what's the point? i dont know...
maybe i worried that he would give up what...?
but let's say, i dont want to give up.
he told me he wouldnt as longer i dont give up.
he's so smart, right? coz i said that to him before, so he just coppy my sentence.
then that's it.
i just pray to jesus....
here's not me to hope what, but plx take care of us.
i dont know wether we could be long... but love is love, and cant give up so easily.
yea.
>>January 30, 2005 at 2:32:24 PM GMT+8
2005 年 1 月 28 日 星期五 【晴】
i'm really fine today...
i just back from work. hum,...... 12:08 am already.
actually, i'm late to work today, but it's ok la...
coz i kept chating with benny on phone, so dont want to go work.
by the way, today we just keep talking and talking...
i concentrate on work more today.
hum,... i take his advice, and just work hard.
2005 really got a lot of works to do ah!!! so unfair~
ok, i keep thinking that i just come to take the experience, not for money...
but i gotta stop soon.
be wise, i think i get enough experience then should stop and look for others....which more
deserve my efforts.
last night we've chated alot, about my studies and lots and lots...
hum,... trust me, all will be fine =)
and i do trust him what, by the way, chris is back today?
anyway, i ve to try.... try for him, i mean benny.
and i know that i'm trying for him also for myself.
i know i'm scared, but i've to be brave... coz that's not the problem of the distence, or benny,
but regarding myself. i got problems with myself.
i ve to get through it... and i know benny would stand with me. and jesus do also.
hum,...
today working is ok...
=( joyce is going to leave us... so bad...
but,
=)sankie got the chance to promote herslef!
yea tonight i was listening to her, and trying to help her.
christy called me tonight, thx for her,
then we could ve the 5D gathering ! yeah~~~!!! waiting for it !!
and tomorrow is the very important day for me, for my future what...
and just hand it to god.
fine =)
and,...... actually i got the plan, but not going to show here,
jesus knows it, and benny knows, enough... =)
when i get the result, then i tell ya! haha~
hum,... i miss him lots and lots...
and ah..... hey how come he still not on line =S?
who asks me to wait for him huh?
>>January 29, 2005 at 4:20:57 PM GMT+8
2005 年 1 月 27 日 星期四 【晴】
Hi!
i'm back from singapore for,... three or four days already =)
this trip is excellent.
hum,... i've contacted few ppl when i was there.
you know,... actually i just wanna write down the things happened after me back.
coz,.... the days in there were excellent, and i'm still not in mood to back...
hum,... in these days at hk, i feel so tough to adjust my life,
coz i was so free alone there, and come back, after back,... feel like strange.
hum,... i'm here, but heart aint.
today and yesterday i was working,... but the point is that i cant work. i cant concentrate.
i always think ,... thnking of the days,.... with him, or with them.
i love staying there...
actually i like hk much, coz this is my home, but,... i love there more,
coz ... the life style is more suitable for me.
and my darling is there.
all the things re like the dreams...... is it real? was i just dreaming?
i dont know how to say....
but i miss them lots and lots, and,... the place i was in ... and the person who i hug and kissed.
i just miss the trip.
hum,... chris ask me would i think about to stay long... i say.... maybe, after graud.
coz i just like the life there. not so complicated, very healthy, very fresh, nice...
and,...
i've met junming with his girlfriend, chris with his girlfriend, elston and wendy, auguestus,
of course benny and his friends....
i love all my friends, angeline and jealine, and angeline's family =) and lots of ppl !
angeline and jealine are my best friends in singapore ^^
hum,... they're all very nice to me, and
i miss them really much of course, especially benny and angeline and jealine.
he's a really nice guy to me, uh-huh... of course, he's my darling right?!
dont need to worry for what, coz we're going fine... and ah..... actually that's my personaly stuffs...
good good godd...
after back,
we just be firm that we ve to keep on... coz we dont want to give up.
that's good, and i just wanna say thx to jesus, jesus 'd never let me down,
coz i got the ans already. and of course that's the secert between us.
and benny knows that, and i just told him what i think whether we would break up what...
but he stoped me.
i know we're real to each other, and i cant escape anymore.
this time is so different... i'm not like the past anymore. yea... things are always different....
but the point is...
i got the answer.
we're doing our own business in these days.
he left his work already. and preparing for his own business,
i'm just keep working, and planing for the studies.
hum,... here we got the problems...
but i dont know... i want to fight for it, but i dont want to hurt anyone.
benny,..... gave me lots of support, thx jesus and him.
and i know the door would be opened when it's good for me.
i 'd never given up, so just waiting on, and looking for chances, oppot.
i know he supports me lots and he just give me the faith and suggestions =) thx.
but i know all is from jesus , thx =)
hum,... last night i've told him lots of the bad mood in working,
and i can feel it, hum,... sense... the love from him. thx...
and i say... i really hope to be with him forever... temtation are always here waiting for us,
let's wait and see how...
hum,... love him lots and lots.
just perhaps these few years would be passed through fast.
and,... like what he always says... ve faith lor. haha,....
and plx remember the days we're together.
what we say to each other, and the feelings together.
dont forget to pray, to ask for the advice and tests from jesus...
coz that's most important.
i'll rewrite my life there later, but not at here , at the other journal =)
very very personal one.
***
my trip photos are on my yahoo album:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/lau_mei_kwan/my_photos
(without benny and his friends, coz dc no bat at the last two days,
and we still vent taken any pic yet...*sigh..........=.=)
god blessing...
and whish you guys ve a bright new year =)
>>January 28, 2005 at 11:47:09 AM GMT+8
2005 年 1 月 18 日 星期二 【晴】
yesterday i was fine.
last night i prayed and cried.
i've found what i really want to know in singapore.
i keep it secert, that's the secert between me and jesus. just only us know =)
hum,... i'm looking forward for the trip from tomorrow.
i know it must be so fine.
and that's the great trip for me =) always.
today i got the call from hong, thx for him. trust me, all will be fine.
i tell other dont to worry for me, but i'm like a little girl to hesitated for everything i wanna do haha~
by the way, i think i'll be so fine,
and i will get my answer.
waiting for it to come =)
see you guys later =) !
pry for me that the ans is not far from me .
God Blessing,
wishing me lucky, and us .
>>January 19, 2005 at 11:22:06 AM GMT+8
2005 年 1 月 16 日 星期日 【晴】
January 17, 2005
What God Can Do
Read: 2 Corinthians 1:3-11
[God] delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us. —2 Corinthians 1:10
They were called the "lost boys" of Sudan. Thousands of them fled the civil war in that country and sought refuge from the chaos and killing. Many had been taught the gospel in churches founded by missionaries, but they knew little of the world beyond their villages.
A National Geographic article profiled one of these "lost boys" who is now resettled in the United States. He told a church congregation that he is grateful for the comforts of the US, but also for the faith he learned through hardship. "Americans believe in God," he told them, "but they don't know what God can do."
In the crucible of testing, we move from theory to reality as we experience God's power. When there seems to be no hope, we may share Paul's feeling of being "burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we [despair] even of life" (2 Corinthians 1:8). But we can also learn, as Paul did, that in the darkest times "we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead" (v.9).
If God has allowed you to be in a desperate situation today, why not reconsider all that the Almighty has done and can still do. By trusting God in hardship we learn what He can do in our lives. —David McCasland
Though weak and helpless in life's fray,
God's mighty power shall be my stay;
Without, within, He gives to me
The strength to gain the victory. —D. De Haan
I know He's always here with me =)
that's for sure, and with no regrets, no refunds.
hum,... i cannot trust in myself, but in Him, Jesus.
All will be fine :)
>>January 17, 2005 at 3:12:00 PM GMT+8
2005 年 1 月 16 日 星期日 【晴】
wa....
last night i've talk with his brother again...
ai... he told me he's still in thailand for help... oh...
he said he's back soon.
but i ask him maybe after my trip... he siad shouldnt be that long? i dont know, let's pray...
jackie is back!!! she called me just now!!! i am sooooooooooooo glad!!!!!
haha! i wanna meet her tomorrow la~
by the way, morning, kenny called me, hum,... greeting, nothing special.
but i call back on the way to home, nothing, just chating.
hum,... i've chated with meiwen also =)
i 'm going to meet meiwen tomorrow =)
and also got to change money la... i'll leave on Thursday, today i go to ask about the exchange store,
they cant give me that much money... so i tend to go banking.
hum,..... anyway, tomorrow also need to go back store to phone calling the childen members.
wow... today sankie is very ruled.... maybe coz fandy is here with us?
the meeting is so fast to finish, great.
but i know the csa is a hard job. high requirment.......... ai....
just perhaps i could go to canada to study, then after back, i'll work in the place i want, not mcdonald's.
is the air line company, then return the money to the government as soon as possible,
then we can have the better living conditions. well well well...
at least return all the money to different people as soon as possible.
maybe, i'll not stay back hk for long then?
anyway, it's still so far, just like my marriage, that's just sooooooooo far.
by the way, am i really fat?
bobo chated with sun, they say i'm pretty, " but fat..." well, although bobo disagree on that,
but actually sun has hit the point ! great~
i'm fat, but cute and pretty. haha... they ask me about the casta at store 025.
i say i'm much better than her! coz she's really fat! but bad voice, bad skin..
i didnt say that much, but i just do admit that i'm much better.
hum,.... missing jackie so much , and him also.
ai... what to do huh?
few days before i've watched the news on net from singapore, it said that the last 18 helps
from the SGCF would come back on friday... hum,... i'm not sure he's in this unit or not.
there 're almost 200 units of army... that's what my friend told me.
i'm not sure when he'll be back.
actually after we know each others, you know, bad luck start on him =S
>>January 17, 2005 at 1:45:57 PM GMT+8
2005 年 1 月 15 日 星期六 【晴】
today is our family day.
daddy drives out,
we went to stanly market today =)
we've lunch there, then walk around, taken some pictures, haha, cute,
then ve tea at mcdonald's,
then go back tai po, buy the dinner... then back home.
ve a really great day =)
tomorrow ve to back store, for the meeting.... black luck me... shit...
ai.... fandy will join, really black luck.... ai....getting big trouble la....
by the way, i really want to meet him in face this time.
but i still vent the news from him...
i just keep praying to god...
today i got sick, didnt go to work...
but i've chated with aunt, she told me about the steps for the aplication.
yea, i start to apply for the college right now.
last night, i've seen his account on line again, but he didnt say anything,
of course i didnt say out what also. i still vent his news, and i really hope someone to tell me
what's going on.
my friend told me he'd bring me to eat some nice food, haha... thx sundeck.
yup, i'm so brave to go trvel alone, and although he might not be there, i would ejoy my trip.
write back soon.
>>January 15, 2005 at 5:19:01 AM GMT+8
2005 年 1 月 13 日 星期四 【晴】
Gemini
May 20 - June 20
You always like to learn new things, dear Gemini, in order to satisfy your insatiable curiosity. Yet, today everything may seem very banal to you. So why don't you do something else for once, like taking care of yourself! You might want to get a check-up at the doctor's just in case. Take it easy today. No one can be as active as you every single day of the year!
Gemini & Leo
Both appreciate extravagance, dazzle, and glitter; the Air of one feeds the Fire of the other. Leo's idea of love is grandiose, and Gemini will be fascinated by the attentiveness of his partner. His (or her) curiosity is never satisfied, and the Leo is full of surprises. A helpful hint to the Gemini: be careful of the Leo's pride; don't arouse his or her ire. Helpful hints to the Leo: rein in your possessiveness, because the Gemini wants to be as free as Air. If these prerogatives are respected, love will be colorful and joyful.
Today, you might well get the impression that your relationships are going along a one-way street, lau mei kwan. You are giving without getting anything back in return, and despite your total devotion to the people you love, you are suddenly feeling somewhat drained. You should take the hint from the Hanged Man and the Star, which are telling you that it is no use counting on anyone else at the moment. In your professional environment, you are going through a phase of discouragement. Hard as you try to get things back on track and moving again, you can't help the feeling that your efforts go to waste, that nobody gives you recognition for you labors. There is no salary increase in sight and maybe not even a smile from your boss. Try not to see it all from Hanged Man's perspective. You've also got the Sun smiling on you!
******************************************
i'm back from school, worse test...
hum,...i know just now, his brother has been here, or someone on line with his account.
but,... anyone can tell me what's going on?
seems like i'm the only one shouldnt know anything.
if it's like that, it's.... ashamed.............
i ve the right to know, but now, dont i worth it, isit ?
if he changes his mind, easy... just tell me.
if he's just cheating me, easy, tell me the truth then leave me away.
but what? what's the meaning right now?
everytime when i greet his brother, i just want to know the news from him only,
i didnt mean to do what harmful right? i didnt do anything to hurt benny right?
but what's the attitude of him? but what he said to me? he's in sg,
he would know everything imediately from him, but i'm not !
if no one tells me, i wont know anything !
if i dont ve the right to know, then what am i mean to be? like the pet? little cat or doggy?
i feel so tough, how come no one tells me what's going on?
i'm not asking for the report, but at least i need to know what's going on ! cant i ??
i feel so bad......... i think,... i'm going to give up soon if he keeps me down always...
alright, i think,... i've to think about it... i mean should i stay focus for him?
i'm not going to firgure out what, coz i tend to give up sooooooooonnnn.
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
finally got his call this evening,
hihi~
i'm really fine today...
Hi!
January 17, 2005
南瓜車 薛凱琪
Someone who know