Today.... i was so late to work... 8 - 4:30,
then i stayed in star room to study... till 6:30,
then i go to buy my dinner, and walk to school.
hum,... very tough day.
too tired.
by the way, i've played with lots of childen today =P fun. they're cute~
but i'm really tired.
hum,.. i'm waiting.
i know he will call me soon =)
if he .... then..... i dont know, i will start worring for him...
plz dont keep me worried...
after schooo, that was 9:00, i went to hmv to get a little purple bag. very nice.
hum,... then i go home.
very tired now, but still want to watch tv... i want the x-file on peral plz...
benny! my darling! i love you so much! ^^
i wanna tell him that... i.. re-al..ly... love you darl...ing...
tomorrow leggry got ceremony at night, and i have to attend to it.
hum,... but i ve to work tomorrow, for lots of birthday-parties.
let 's wait and see.
by the way,
really looking forward for his news.
>>December 17, 2004 at 2:59:55 PM GMT+8
2004 年 12 月 15 日 星期三 【晴】
hello...
today have to work... so tired.
hum,... from 10 - 6.
then have meeting... hum,... still fine.
the next year, i'll have more jobs to do.
today... i've chated with my workmate, bobo. she's from the mc cafe.
hum,... she advices me alot... =) thankyou!
hum, thanks for her concerns. yup, i've told my friends in mcdonald's that i'm going to sg soon.
hum,... haha. glad to hear about right?
yea... i know this time, i'm like taking adventure... i do know that.
but,... god knows it also. He let me go... that means... it's ok for me =)
i'm so tired today.... tomorrow work from 7 am - 3 pm.
then have lesson when evening from 7- 10 pm... tough.
hum,... i'm waiting for him, waiting for his news, his call...
i miss him so much.
but i'm peaceful... thanks for god =)
i feel so nice.
>>December 16, 2004 at 3:16:59 PM GMT+8
2004 年 12 月 14 日 星期二 【晴】
Finally all the things are fixed.
today, morning i got the call from Kenny... ai... he told me our project got problems...
shit... i still wanna sleep more, coz last night i've made the present till 4:00.
then got up, phoned to lee wai, and then we decide to correct it lor...
thankyou to lee wai... she's a really good teamate.
i was so hungry when i' s doing the project.... =(
i thought today i'd go to book the ticket early...
but got no chances... after finished, i take the lunch... cup noodle...
then go out, go back to sha tin.
finally i've paied for the package, and confirmed that i'll be going there on 20-24 th Jan.
erm,... last night, i've seen his brother come on line,
i've told him that i'll come on 13 th to 17th... he told me that they'll not in sg,
except benny, the rest will be in hai nan island for visiting the relatives.
hum,...i thought this time i'll see his family... then i asked him why benny doesnt go.
he told me he's waiting for me to there. haha...
my friend last night told me dont need to book the hotel, but i say i need.
i'm not sure is it good to stay at his home.
i told him i thought my trip was kinda secert in his family.
by the way, i asked him when he'll be back, he says... this weekend.
oh.... that's good.
finally i dont have to be worry.
at this moment... daddy still dont know i'm going to singapore,
i thought he does, coz mom knows it... big troubles... i'll pray for it.
and i've paid all, cant re-turn the money also.
oh my god, i used to go there on 13 th - 17 th.
but today i go to book the ticket, the seats on 17th for return are full already...
so,... if i come back on 17 th, must be very early in sg, like.... 6:30 am at the morning!
that's crazy... so, i rather proppose the trip to one week after.
i flight when 10:30 am in hk, then back at 7:30 pm in sg.
just now, i bought a lot of thing for baking cake this christmas.
heehee... wasting money... ai...
after this trip, i'll be poor. but... i must go down there once.
i'm still worried that if i could go to canada in the coming March.
coz course start on April... i'll aopply the college when Jan.
i'm still worried for the school fees.
i'll keep praying... waiting for His voice.
hum,... i keep praying for the dreams beoming true for long years...
dont know it will come true or not... but i've to have faithin god... not for my dreams,
but for his promises that he would guide me right, brighten my life.
if i couldnt go to canada, then i dont know what to do.
might be go to tai wan? hum,... not sure... china mainland? not sure... but i really want to go canada.
if singapore is fine for me, i dont mind to go there also.
i just want a place to stdy, but that must be hard in hongkong.
i got the tofel result already... oh.... 177.
haha... dont have to take again~
my jesus god,
what will you do if you were me?
i'll have faith, still keep trying, till the last min.
is that the lesson you wanna me to learn?
i've to stay strong... but not from myself, but you.
Thankyou for everydays, even though are sad, frustrated, lost, sin, depressed sometimes,
you'd never give me up. You give me so beautiful family, lovely friends, and my dear boyfriend,
a sweet smile heart.... so many many... that is un-countable.
i give thanks to you. you teach me everyday.
jesus, plz... plz help me, guide me to do the right things.
in the coming days, road becomes harder and longer,
but i know that christains always choose to walk the hard road.
because we know that you're with us.
i dont know what to do now, i just step out, try to get the chance...
i'm so power-less.... i cant do anything without you.
i'll keep praying, perhaps i could get your response...
my dear jesus... plz tell me what is right and wrong,
guide me to walk, to work out for you.
well, big event...
hum,... newspaper company come to organize a birthday party for childen.
of course i was there as a helper =)
hum, i saw the new star.co already. she's nice, but i think maybe Mei is better than her?
i dont know, that's not my concern... actually Mei is not bad.
by the way, Sankie scold us today...
i know we're so messy on fall and in the party.
cool... actualy i'm not the incharged person, i just listen to my boss.
anyone could be my boss there, right? even though my teamates... they could be also...
by the way, i will try to do my best... i think i'll improve my skills.
i'll work more till i go to singapore... today i'd chat with sankie... tell her that i wanna work more
in the coming days. she feels nice with it. that's good.
actually, if i could promote to be the star before i go to canada, that'll be great right?!
hum,... nice day huh...
and I MET THE SIR ! who was the ... i forgot the name... hum,... "piorlot"?
the piorlot from cathay pacific !
last time i went to take the talk about the in-flight course, right?
that man!!!!!
he came with his beautiful daugther !!
first time i noticed his daugther! then i regonizes him !
wow... i didnt say anything to him, but i did talk with his daugther =)
his daugther is so beatiful... and cute, sweet also.
alright, she has a good daddy maybe? =S ??
haha... none of my business.
i still havent got his news.
today is like the trial for me.
i always think of him, i miss him much.
he dispears again... ai... if everytime i treasure him,
admit to love him coz seems like .... start losing him, then...
what's the meaning inside ? but, during this period, i start hesitated on him as the same while...
then again... what's the meaning by it? with it?
i dont know.
but last night, when i chated with joey, she knows me,
she knows me still caring that person, she knows me in love for him.
maybe i have to learn this lesson by myself.
benny helps me too much, might be god wants me to learn this lesson alone, nope... with jesus.
oh... my dear,... i got to understand what's love, faith and hope again.
and might be i'll find more, then i dumb benny . haha... kidding only.
actually, might be i have nt really understood what is inside my mind... was so messy...crazy...
i got to generlaize well...?
hum,... but i know i'm not confident, i'm not that cool... =(
by the way, he cares might be? hum,... i dont know.
if i dont see him in person, by face, then i think it'd be too hard for me to trust him in total.
but jesus says... we should trust before we see.
but benny is not jesus mah, he's not the god ~
i just try to love a person, that's not sin right? hum.... that's too complicated.
i'm waiting for his news...
i think he's alright now.
and god bless us all the time, coz he's looking at us.
hum,... yesterday, i've watched a program on tv...
that's the christain history....
joy, peace... how much do i got, i ask myslef.
yup, i do have to think about it seriously and sincerely.
time to off now,
hum.... finally finished the heavy stuffs, for which i got the ans ! haha!
but not finished all yet... stupid cat~
got to finish them as soon as possible, coz tomorrow seems as the deadline date in US time.
i dont know... i just know that i miss him much...
and want people to pray for him and for me either...
thankyou....for all...
goodnight my love,
goodnight castor.
goodnight to everyone who's reading these wordssssss right now =)
goodnight....
>>December 12, 2004 at 5:35:51 PM GMT+8
2004 年 12 月 10 日 星期五 【晴】
i have no news yet...
today, econ fainal exam.
it's fine.
i cant concentrate on exam.
tomorrow have to work...
sankie rang me to remind me remember to duty tomorrow.
coz big event again... might be she needs my help again?
i'm waiting... waiting for his call.
it's a hard homework.
i feel so bad.
joey talk with me, she told me dont try to solve problems by myself...
actually, i fell tough... not ocz of the trust... but the worried.
this time is better than last time... last time.... that 's worse ...
but, today, i told myself, if i really love this person, i have no choices.
i got to accept anything from him.
my friends told me... i'm still able to choose, i'm still young, i'm still have chances.
it's not the matter of how many chances i still have, not i rather treasure or not.
but, inside my mind, there's only one person, although i still not put all of the effort.
but i can say...
i love him.
i dont want to wait, i hate the feelings of worried, i hate him like that, i cant accept his excuess,
i wanna push him away, i wanna scold him, i wanna make him down... but...
yup, he always makes me worried, cry for him... that's not the girlfriend supposed to do.
but,... i am still proud of him.
i still appricate him a lot and lots...
i still miss him much.
i still making wishes, still making present for him.
i'm so proud of him, coz i love him.
i wanna tell myself that.... have faith plz...
lately, i always think of mr. cheung, my dear principle...
thinkk of his words for me, when the last time talking with him at lsc.
thinks of him all the time... i miss him so much...
he told me lots of things, always encourage me since i know him....
the last thing he wants me to do is have faith in myself.
i almost cried... when he told me...
so touched...
today, i face to the same problem... as the days for me facing the ce, i "crash"...
last time i was fail... coz of the faith, confidence... today... same problem...
what to do...
faith, is my life homework.
i cant face it, that means... i cant face myself.
i cant trust myself, then of course, cant trust others.
including him, i cant trust him totally.
it's too hard to build the trust... sometimes i rather choose to chat with net friends....
i treat them as my nice good friends, sometimes ... i cant trust people who's around me.
i rather to build up friendship with whom i might meet by chance only.
i know i'm faith-less inside.
i ask god... what can i do...
it affects me too much.
such as... through the exam, i know there're problems with myself...
why i cant concentrate on studying, on test, or exam.
coz i 've no confidence.
benny was right.
Coz I Just Love One Person, That's Him, Benny Chew.
>>December 11, 2004 at 10:12:47 AM GMT+8
2004 年 12 月 9 日 星期四 【晴】
i am faith-less...
=S
You know... finally i didnt get his call... and today, i'm over reacted.
i asked alot of ques about the army camp with my friend.
he told me... a lot of thing.
godness... perhaps he's fine.
i got the math final today...
worse. coz i dont understand few questions, especially that one, Q.5
that's... my fault. i should listen to class, when Alex explained the ans in class...
today... joey got sick... she made me stressed...
then finally i didnt go to take the usu class.
i was so tired... and i ve told patrick that i might not in class tonight =)
ha... but i really hope to attend to class... =(
coz i'm quite ready to study well in this time... benny told me should have faith.
and i think... beside, i still got to get ready to work hard. this time, i'm ready.
hum,... i couldnt concentrate in exam today... exam takes 3 hrs.... tough...
but... how to say...
i'd almost cry at the middle of exam...
coz i worried for him... ai.... i shouldnt be that worried, but i do.
i've called him 4 times today during morning and afternoon... =(
but i give it up already... now just wait for his call.
he's always like that, making me so worried...
evening, finally i go to church, go to join soma.
we'll have function at tsim sha tsui this year.
hum... prepare for it. nice =)
but i miss him much... =(
i've talk for long with shan today...
we discuss a lot today... Thanks for Shan =)
She's always my best friend... so sweet. and jackie, yup, i miss her much too....
I got to find my way...
cant just stop here, and... if i want to figure out the problems... i think i should move on first.
at least... do the present best.
the relationship with him... will take time to see =)
just wait for him , my love.
just perhaps he's really fine now.
my friend told me, if late to reach there... then might be got charged, go court... then might got jail.
[QQ]....... oh my...
but... anyway, i just wish him well, safe... that's it.
he's my love. i love him.
tomorrow will have the last exam !
ECON!!! ohoh... i still havent started reviewing yet.
coz too stressed, if i study too hard before exam, and i found that's no uses for me.
so, i rather rest well before exam, and do some review at the morning or... i dont know,
just relax myself.
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
Hi!
hello...
I'm soooooooo tired...
i have no news yet...
Someone who know