i got the reply from net already.
he told me that he just need lots of water and vitami c to help his body against virus.
oh dear, that just depends on his body is strong enough to get over the virus.
hope he'll be fine sooooooo soon...
where i got the reply is from a new friend from net.
i searched the information about dengue fever on net.
then i got into a sccocer page, then found the article about the expeienced.
oh dear... finally got the reply...
then now we become friend.
hummm what i can say is just... " OH MY GOD !"
***
today i ve tea, dim sum with family for lunch,
then miki and me go to walk around, go to the libilary too,
hummm can exercise, not bad =)
i miss him, my darling...
but plx tell me what to do... coz " OH MY GOD !!! "
darling plx you better get welll as soon as possible.
i'm leaving...
ticket is confirmed already.
on 25 th April, flight at12:50 pm from hongkong
i'll go to seoul first, then fly to vancouver, arrive at 12:20 pm (25/4) vancouver main terminal.
darling!!!!
>>April 6, 2005 at 12:39:13 PM GMT+8
2005 年 4 月 4 日 星期一 【晴】
"Where there is dynamism there is interpenetration;
where there is interpenetration there is universal love,
so all mutually sympathetic things cannot remain apart."
Liang Qichao
***
right now i'm eating chocolate.... contains 75% coco. what a perfect dark chocolate.
we human need chocolate... coz it could make our life more beautiful and healthy.
i've read some report about the relationship between life being with chocolate...
that's amazing. i really love dark chocolate =)
taking too much must cause fat... but if we take sometimes it could be more healthy, and beautiful.
heehee
so, everytime i ve coffe, i must mix lots of chocolate powder in it.
with some fresh cream form, tasty ! that's the mocha. i'm wondering for some mashmallow.
in singapore, i've tried some different iced branch.
that's really nice. white chocolate with rapsberry =) really nice!
by the way,
theseeeee dayssssssss, i'm so... i feel like it is not me.
my soul is out, remaining... the body.
when mom talking to me, or others,... i'm not listening, nope,
at first i was , but then i left, i mean my soul left.
i was flying to other place, YOU KNOW IT.
yea, that's me.
wherever i am, i'm thinking of other places, thinking of something and SOMEONE.
that's ...
i really dont know what to say.
i remember that chris birth's coming, coz mom's coming too.
wow... hummm i 'm quite poor lately, coz buying too much stuffs lately.
i'm not going to buy him card, but maybe write something to him.
then,... tomorrow post to him.
hum,...... before i left, i'll send darling the last post.
i'll tell him where i'm going to stay and my college's name.
just hope before i left i could talk with him, at least.
otherwise that might be easy to give up , for me.
maybe it's good? or not? i'm not sure.
today i didnt follow my dad, and actually we, whole family except dad, dont go po doi o.
what's the meaning with that? mom's mom dead gathering, dad didnt attend to it.
even for lunch gathering, he's so late to come.
so right now, i dont feel like i should go. dad's parents are so well being.
if we ought to go for our lau's family..... that's boshit.
i even dont think i've good grand-parents.
feel likes.... i just ve good relatives in mom's family.
i could feel the love the caring from my mom's family only.
even though grand-partents help us alot. but what it's all for dad. but not us.
they dont like us, they dont respect us. i dont need to do extra stuffs to please them i think.
i feel so uncomfortable with them. so faked them..
i know i shouldnt say that, coz some of them might be good guys,...
at least if they shut up, i'd call them aunts and uncel.
or my cousins, they're not bad at all.
but it just tough and faked to be with them.
oh.... where's my darling now?
how's he...? =C
i miss him...................
>>April 5, 2005 at 9:18:34 AM GMT+8
2005 年 4 月 3 日 星期日 【晴】
today i woke at 1 pm.
slept so long...
enough resting, then ving some soup for lunch,
ve some biskit then ve some fruit.
hummm restingat home, nothing to do, then... go out with mum, sisters.
go to suppermarket...
then eat some bread and bizikit again.
hummmmm then resting,
very bored.
last night chating with junming,
so funny.. haha... and suddenly he talk about the past. erh...
haha, i dont mind lor, actually he told me he kept the schedule last time i made for him,
woo i appricate it alot =) hummm then i told him i kept all the letters he sent me too.
but i told him coz they all represented part of my life.
hummm i said.. i'm so glad to ve him be my good friend.
when i'm sad and tired i could ve someone to talk to.
i miss ben...
that makes me... dont wanna do anything.
>>April 4, 2005 at 12:08:34 PM GMT+8
2005 年 4 月 2 日 星期六 【晴】
i'm...so..... tired...
last night couldnt sleep well, then i got to wake up early today...
hummmmm =C
work tough... 3 birthday parties ... with different partners... nice,
i work with 025 ming again, wow...
hummm,... 3 parties all require us to speak in english...
it's fine.
i've taken some nice pictures too.
nice...
the first one, all is the idonesia ladies. they're so friendly! happy...
they say i'm pretty =) hee.
then the sec one is for the naughty and smart childrean, nice =)
then the third one is for the thailand family with children...
oh my god... that man is from canada too, "flirting ..."
he ask me about my age with his relatives (men)
hummm they say i'm pretty, look young, they ask me am i 25 below.
i say i am. they ask me what age...
i say i'm going to be 19. they say impossible!
what? hummmmm finally i show them my id card. haha.
is he or re they tring to find a mate for him?
i left my e-mail @ to the nice children i tell them i'm leaving so they 'dnt be able to see me again.
i feel nice =)
by the way, i'm really tired today.
and i miss him tooooooooooo much....
right now i'm watching the korean tv show, so nice!!!!!!
i'm not happy today... my last day huh...
and i just miss him too much...
=( so bad...
i wanna cry.
"It is infinitely easier to suffer in obedience to a human command than to accept suffering as free, responsible men."
( 我也很想他,我活在那個溫暖的黃昏下,那是一個特別的夏天, 因為有他.)
>>April 3, 2005 at 3:15:30 PM GMT+8
2005 年 4 月 1 日 星期五 【晴】
Last night i couldnt sleep till morning, around 5 am...
but i get up early today. i just slept for 4 hrs only.
later we'd ve performance show, a nice show later at cultural center.
i know i miss him too much la. then again, that's from my heart... i couldnt do anything,
just giving blessing.
i couldnt sleep, i just miss him too much again...
oh jesus, my tears are throwing...
these days... i keep praying for him, for the old schoolmate, for the victim in tsunami and earth quake.
and finally i ask for help for my expensive clothes...
and the most important thing is... i go to post my letters to him, his family and angeline...
hummm..... that's.... "雙掛號", i 'll recieve the confirm ticket after 12 days.
到底他的家人會明白我的心情嗎?
會幫我這忙嗎? 到底是不是我太緊張了啊? 是不我太過火啦?
hummmmmm... darling got dengue fever since... 20th March or before.
so... if it take as long as a month to recover...
then perhaps before i'm leaving i could get contact with him.
i really write a lot and draw alot to him...
hummm,.... i didnt say anything to blame him, just bring the blessing,
my pray, my songs, my draw, my words from heart to him.
i'd like to make a wish,... wish him get well so soon.
i write alot and draw alot!
i write letters to darling with his family and also write one for angeline.
i draw pretty picture on the lryics " someone's watching over me" for darling =)
and i really write a note for his family to thank them and plx turn my letters to ben for me =)
and i write a letter to darling telling him i miss him really much and much, and 'll support him forever.
i started writting and drawing before 1 pm, till 9:30 pm...
just finished, but i feel so glad =)
last night i couldnt sleep very well, i lied on bed, really want to post him a card suddenly.
that's why... before lunch then i start write him letters, but till 9:30 then got finished.
but also write one for angeline, she got some sadness lately.
really wanna give her some support.
plx everyone pray for ben, hope he'll get well so soon,
and for my old school friend whoes got cancer.
and for the indonesian, which involded by the earth quake,
for those whose in sadness with the tsunami 04.
for ben's family, hope their relationship 'd get well,
and plx pray for angeline, and jeanine coz they're sad...
and plx pray for me, to thx god for me.
pray for everyone whose ve health and peace and blessings in life from our god =)
3 rd April 'd be my last day at work.
and tomorrow leggy 'd ve the performence=)
hummmm,
really plx hope me and ben'd be fine.
hope he'll get well so soon...
hope his family 'd help me turn the letters to him plx dont throw it away ='<
that's my blessings from the bottom of my heart... and
i'll pray with the letters tonight before getting posted.
write back soon...
Thx God...
>>April 1, 2005 at 1:39:30 PM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 31 日 星期四 【晴】
hummm,...
last night i e-maild to my darling...sigh...
dont know how's he now... does he miss me also?
oh my dear,...
sometimes i just question too much...
maybe it's time to let it go.
if i couldnt trust him anymore, that means i'm not going to give up?
i know i'm still waiting for him, ... coz i really love him.
ppl say, things always depend on what you decide or you let it be.
nothing is impossible, if you're willing to try.
like i trsu jesus.
nothing could prove me or confince me to trust,
but i do trust in jesus.
ppl say these days i'm being happy,
i tell them no, i'm quite in wooried for my darling.
but i wear on smile, coz.... i think i couldnt live without smiling.
that's just too tough... =)
so, i think i'll pray for him everyday then it's enough already, in this situation.
hummm today aunt hlpe me to buy lots of stuffs, ahhhhhh~~~! THANKS SO MUCH!! ^^
hummmm i really miss him so much...
really hope someone 'd tell me how's he right now.
stop my worries.
哎呀...
last night i couldnt sleep earlier, but still fine, at least nightmare gone.
thx for god.
last night i escape from my tought, maybe i just dont want to think of it?
my head pain when i think of it.
just like the article i posted yesterday.
"since i ask..." hummmm qoted so nice is it?
trusting is not possible be build by one side.
that's what he knows also.
anyway, i'm just worried for him and also for us.
***
Your Love Forever
閉上眼看過天空 閉上眼再次追蹤
追逐著身軀 失了蹤
怕過去痛快消失 描繪當天氣質
難道記憶消失也值得
Your Love Forever
閉上眼看你消失 背向你有我哭泣
依傍著窗簾 的瞬間
乍看世界已消失 描繪不出過失
沉在記憶中卻剩得我
閉上眼看過天空 閉上眼再次追蹤
追逐著身軀 失了蹤
乍看世界已消失 從描繪當天氣質
沉重過哭泣也值得 憑著記憶跟你熱吻
***
i know i miss him so much.
i just love him.
>>March 30, 2005 at 12:41:45 PM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 28 日 星期一 【晴】
SHARING--
"He keeps updating his profile "
By Margot Carmichael Lester
Dear Margot,
I met a guy online about nine months ago and we’ve been talking about marriage a lot lately. So I went online and deleted my ad. I noticed his ad is hidden, but he checks it every day. What is he checking on? Why keep going back? What do you think is going on?
- Spying Now On Other Partner
Dear Margot,
I’ve been dating a girl I met online three months ago. She’s very into me, but won’t even tell me where she lives because she was stalked about a year ago and is really skittish. Should I push this issue or just sit and be patient?
- Decent Guy
Dear SNOOP and Decent Guy,
I get a lot of questions along these lines. Dating in the electronic age has its own set of challenges. That’s the bad news. The good new is, they’re easily overcome — and the solutions are applicable to all relationships, whether they’re forged online or IRL. Because most boil down to one thing.
Now, I’m no zookeeper, but there’s an 800-pound gorilla standing between you and your partner. And the gorilla’s name is Trust.
For you, SNOOP, you wonder if you should trust your guy knowing that he’s still visiting the online singles scene.
This happens a lot, and usually it’s the woman who discovers her man is still looking despite his new and thriving relationship. Maybe your fella really is looking to step out or trade you in for a better model. But you don’t offer up much evidence to prove that, so I — unlike you — am going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Because as my friend Pace used to say, “It’s ok to look at the menu as long as you plan on dining at home.” In other words, sometimes looking is just looking. And unless he’s peeping in windows, it’s not a crime.
Have you considered that maybe you’re doing the looking — as in, looking for a reason to distrust him?
Instead of trying to figure out what he’s up to, ask yourself these questions to figure out what you’re up to:
Why did I decide to check him out (do two sneaks make a right)?
Has he really given me a reason not to trust him, or am I being over-sensitive?
Do I really think he’s the cheating kind?
And if so, why would I want to date a guy like that?
Do I get this upset when he checks out a cute girl when he’s out with me?
If you still feel the need to know what’s going on, talk to him. But don’t accuse him of anything. And be prepared for him to ask how you know. In that brand of irony that only Cupid trades in, your snooping might be enough to make him not trust you.
As for you, Decent Guy, you’re dealing with a woman who sees a potential stalker in every suitor. You’re paying for someone else’s sins. And there’s no amount of atonement you can make to ease her fears. Because it’s not about you, really. She’s got a gorilla of her own and it’s this stalker dude.
Until she gets rid of that gorilla, there’ll never be enough room in the relationship for you. And while it’s not your responsibility to help her get over this, some compassion is in order. Being stalked can literally ruin a person’s life. And even after it’s over, it isn’t over.
Perhaps the best thing to do is for both of you to own up to the situation. She’s just not ready to date again. And while you may truly care about her, you know that simply waiting for her to feel better is unlikely to change things. If you think there’s some potential here, maybe you should end the romance now on good terms with the idea that when she feels better, she can contact you to see if you’re still interested. Meanwhile, you go your own way and try to find someone who’s ready, willing, and able to engage in the kind of relationship you want.
Still not convinced? Ask and answer these five questions:
Can you really date a woman who won’t tell you where she lives?
Are you willing to deal with and indulge her neuroses?
Can you really get to know someone who’s walling herself off?
What’s the risk of the stalker getting on your trail?
And are you willing to risk that?
Trust. It starts with “T” and that stands for trouble right here in romantic River City. What is it that makes us trust another person? And how can we know when we trust someone enough to enter into a committed relationship — or even marriage? Well, as the old saying goes, “If you have to ask...”
Good luck to both of you!
>>March 29, 2005 at 9:59:04 AM GMT+8
2005 年 3 月 28 日 星期一 【晴】
last night i lost my sleep.
i slept at 5:30 am.
i couldnt sleep....
i think i miss him too much.
just too much.
and... i was fear of the nightmares...
my room is almost done.
just some little stuffs nee to be fixed, and my pc...
yea, i need to re-install the router program as soon as possible.
i dont like to share pc with others, haha.
by the way,
today is 29th already.
so,... i'll leave in a month.
hummmmm,
what will i do and what will i be?
will i be able to reach my dreams?
just now i got the news about the earth quake in indolisia, that's quite sad.
they ve the earth quakes again.
and this time sg hasnt any record or report for this time, thx god.
and it's really thanksgiving about not caused the tusnami.
dont know how's ben's relatives in indonisia.
hope they're alright.
dont know how's darling right now...
about his sickness, about his soul, about his family...
hope that's all alright.
my head is so pain... when i think about... about our relationship.
so many things come out from my mind.
i'll be mad if it continues like this.
"because of you.."
***
Because Of You Lyrics
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
***
Hear Me Lyrics
(Hear me... Hear me)
You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I’m waiting…
Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I’m hoping my dreams bring
You close to me
Are you listening?
Hear me I’m crying out
I’m ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I’m lost inside the crowd
It’s getting loud
I need you to see
I’m screaming for you to please
Hear me...hear me... hear me
Can you hear me?
hear me
I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
With no one to talk to and
No one to hold me
I’m not always strong
Oh I need you here
Are you listening?
Hear me I’m crying out
I’m ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I’m lost inside the crowd
It’s getting loud
I need you to see
I’m screaming for you to please
Hear me
I’m restless and wild
I fall but I try
I need someone to understand
(Can you hear me?)
I’m lost in my thoughts
And baby I’ve fought
For all that I’ve got
Can you hear me?
Hear me I’m crying out
I’m ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I’m lost inside the crowd
It’s getting loud
I need you to see
I’m screaming for you to please
Hear me
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
oh my god !
i'm...so..... tired...
Today !
Someone who know