2005 年 8 月 28 日 星期日 【晴】

*****
打氣　李逸朗

作曲:李逸朗
填詞:高皓正

如若成功等於孤單 寧願簡簡單單
誰在世界 能一夫當關
有一吐苦水怎支撐
難得一起分擔 　離別你最不慣

別放手 下決心伴你走 甚至天空都變舊
承諾過 來日我還是我
成熟了愛會更深厚
回望 天天一起 徘徊各種天氣
賺過那些悲與喜
有沒有洩氣 亦有你打氣
就算跌低亦會企得起
願你比心機 為你我會爭氣 自信有一天會飛
你以後 眼淚流請加油
定有我 緊你
***

wish all the best to chris !!!
=)
i really hope he would ve the bright future!
add oil ~~!
hahaha cantonese expression...

anyway... i really wish him the best...
this guy had brought me the best and the worst ... in the past,
but no longer now... we're friend =) and can talk about everyting.

last night,
i ve talk with jonghoon,
today morning i ve talk to sheila and chris...
sounds like everyone is doing our best, working for the future...
it's so great ~

hummm
last night, i asked a lot of questions to jong hoon.
and i know all the truth now... i'm happy with that,
coz i know i ve the right decision, thanks for jesus makeing choise for me =)
and then... i'm happy =)
you know...
things re not easy, always...
but if we put them to god...
good tings would happen, more than always ^^ haha
thankyou for jesus.

=)
pray pray and pray.

i love my darling still...
how's he now?

>>August 28, 2005 at 6:47:39 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 27 日 星期六 【晴】

today... i waked up,
did nothing... buit chating with alesja =)
and then pil... and tomorrow i will go learn cooking korean food =P

anyway,...
today i go out with aunt...
then watch the vcd, and then dinner, then go walking...
that's it.

and...
i really really miss my boyfriend...
god blessing.

>>August 28, 2005 at 3:10:10 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 26 日 星期五 【晴】

today...

i just....
stayed at home, then go out by myself... till 7pm ++
then come home and rest.
i waked at 7 am today...

i got post the claim form, and then look for the eye liner,
i ve to learn how to draw the eye liner, coz... i need to do that later, for the job interview.
then i still ve much time..... coz cant go home...
then i take bus to down town... then sit at tim horton's... buy some cookies,
then... read my book,
and then go to london drugs... so bored...
then i call aunt again... she's home already, so i go home too.

stupid day...

i miss my darling sooooo much...
dont know how he's now...
i realyl miss him sooooooo much...
=(
you know... i feel like... he doesnt feel good, too...
i dont know if he's ok or not...
but, for me, i'm absulotely sad... maybe coz i'm female?
if i were him, i wouldnt be able to stand for that work load and so many bad things...
you know...
i really feel bad about that, but dont know how is he now.
i'm a bit worried for him, you know...
and i really wanna go there, stay with him.
i want to take care of him, i really do.
but i cant do anything..

i remembered last time, he told me...
he didnt let me know what happened with him, coz he didnt want me to worry for him...
he knows i would feel bad so easy, then i would tell him i feel bad... then make him
feel even worse... so...
but i asked him to tell me everything happened...
so now, he tells me. haha...
i really love him... that's true...

i really really miss him and worried for him...
sigh.... how many years later we would get marry?
actually i dont want to get marry that early... that's tooooo early for me...
and i dont want to leave my family... my sisters re stilll so young,
and i really want to take care of my parents...
but, coz of him... i really want to get marry with him early, stay with him.
but you know my feelings now is..... complicated ...and weird.

anyway...
i really miss him alot...
today dont see him on line anymore... i guess he's super busy now.
so...
and then... i cant contact him via phone... i really really miss him a lot
>.<

sigh...

lately,
just have a son, i'm a mom for hak gon ! hahaha
coz he's a baby, so he calls me mom.
hahahaha so funny! i ve a son, i ve op bba. hahaha
i miss alesja... =(
i miss those students....
sigh....
yesterday, i went to libary with susumu and youshi,
then me and susumu talk for so long... about the history topic,
and then the culture.
and i'm teaching him cantonese, chinese slang, hahaha... he's quite smart at language.

anyway...
i really miss my darling SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH !!!!!
='<

>>August 27, 2005 at 5:09:05 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 25 日 星期四 【晴】

i got my result already... heehee
coz of the attendnce... my marks re .... not very good though...
but it's still fine.
here we go... i got 2 B+, and 2 A-
good?
i dont know... i'm not satisfied anyway.

today,
i go pick up the claimation form, and then go back to school,
then meet susumu and youshi at starbucks,
then we go downtown.
i iddnt eat lunch today, i just buy the bubble tea.
and then... they go but the base ball game ticket, they will go seatles on the sunday.
then we go to libary... i got great books =)

i've talked with the Teleus's workers... hummm... quite big problem workers...
coz the Teleus's fire the senieor workers, then hire the cheap young workers..
well, actually it's just simelar to hk cases, right?
and then... the government should protect the workers through the law,
you know... it's regarding to the right.
hummmm... i 've talk with them on street for around 10 - 15 mins...
i'm just interested why there're so many ppl doing the same thing on street..
and thy ask me if i 'm working in this unit. of course not !
i'm just the student...

fine...
and then...
today i tink about darling.
yesterday, i 've tak with miki, she wants to say hi to darling, coz he 's on line.
but i know he's busy... but i dont know... if it's ok or not for her to say hi.
anyway... miki asked if she should be respectful and polite hahaha...
i think she's quite serious about that =) thanks miki, thanks jesus.
and then... darling got problems about the phone and internet. wheeel.....
u~u
so... today i saw him on line again, i didnt talk to him, i guess he's busy..
and i dont want to disturb him.
he used not to go on line when he's working.... i think he's too busy to go on line with work,
or just shouldnt do that... except he has free time for a few mins.
but yestrday and today he goes on line always... and i guess coz his phone problems...
so... i just leave him a smile just now, then that's it.

anyway... i think... i start to learn how to appricate him more and more.
sometimes, ppl is so different from what we expect,
but it doesnt mean his/ her fault, niether ours.
the only thing we should do is to observe more and try to understand more.
i dont know him well i know... so now... i'm tring to observe what he's doing... and
i really wanna find his good side, then appricate him.
i know the things he's doing all base on good, his kindness or his need.
i know... he's tough, but he's doing something he wants, and he's willing to do.
i know he's happy with that... then... i know i was quite selfish,
coz i forgot to think of those... i forgot what he wants and what he needs actually.
he's doing something he likes, and he's tring his best, i could see that...
then why i couldnt let him do that?
he's doing something good and happy for him. he loves that...
why cant i appricate him more, and respect him more.
so... i think... i should understand more =)
and i really want to do something to support him and letting him know i really understand
and i appricate, support him.
i dontk now what i can do... but... i would try... just for him =)

later, i would have great reading time =)
and i will exercise more.

god blessing.
terrance will ve the eye operation tomorrow.
and plx let me get back my money easily and quickly plx.

night.

>>August 26, 2005 at 4:32:54 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 24 日 星期三 【晴】

today,

i waked up,
ve breakfast ( toast with soy milk)
then i go jogging, then at noon, i ve a bun, then i go out...
i go to london drugs, to meet susumu.
actually i really wanna cut my hair... he could help me.
but i cannot bring him to home, right?
and then... i cant go his home too.
so... we went to wst vancouver. the.... what..... horse bay, something like that.
it's reallly far away..... then we talk and sleep on bus...
anyway......... we had fun time today.
he's quite funny.. he asked me alot of things about darling... hummm... haha =P
and then he said... today, he acted like 28. oh my god... hahahaha !
he asked if we look like couple.
of course i know he's just kidding, coz he has a good girlfriend in japan.
and he likes her alot. so... i know he's just kidding for fun.

anyway...
today morning, i got alesja's call ! so suprised!
^^
we talk..... almost 30 mins +++
and we talk alot... i's so happy ~~~ thanks alesja!!!
and then... we had fun time , always~ oh.. i miss her alot...
alesja told her family about me, then they think i'm a bit crazy hahaha..
i dont know what alesja told themn about haha...

then today when i was waiting for the bus, i called darling,
but... that shit china one company just sucks...
oh my god... coz of that stupid coimpnay, i lose money to another company fido!
sigh... how much do i spend on phone talking fee?
A Lot.
shit... always wasting my time on waiting for connection, but always fail... !
$ 15 cents / min.
how much time i need to spend to make a call to darling?
and how many times i should try untill the call get reached, really connected?
even just connected, darling doesnt really pick up the call.
well... i know darling doesnt like me complaint about that...
but if he were me, i would like to say... he's be as smae as my frustrated.
even i can talk to him for a few mins...
those few mins re still less than the time i spend on waiting or tring and tring again.
that means... actualyl; i talk to him not only $15 cents/ min,
but add the idd cost and the " invisble cost" like the waiting fees... oh dear...
but i'm still very patient calling, tring...
actually, would he understand that? i hope so...

so just now, he didnt take my call, i dont even wanna leave a message.
just.... quite moody to do so..

these days, always chat with hak gon, haha... baby... and mommy,
hum .... i think they're fine =)

anyway,
tomorrow i might go to9 school for my report card,
then maybe can see susumu at boardway starbucks, coz he'll meet yushi at there.
anyway...
byebye.

>>August 25, 2005 at 3:40:47 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 23 日 星期二 【晴】

hummmm

tired through...

just now i've called darling,
maybe he's sooooo soooo soo tired... so, he doesnt really like to talk.
hummm it has been a serval days havent called already.... so i really miss him.
oh my god...
if after married, that's still like the same... i dont think i'd be okay with that.
but the fact is... after married, ppl remain the same, or even worse.
by the way,
if my friends talking with me like that, i would stop the conversation.
anyway, he's really tired i guess.

i 've told him that... i cant change my flight.
and then... he asked me... to go back hk first, then fly to sg.
ohhhh..... ho..ho...ho.
let.. me... think about that.
he asked me if i need to think over it.
haha.... if it's that easy for me, i would like to fly to there and go back home everyday.
and i might not even need a home, right?
i can go to.... somewhere i want to stay over night, then in the morning,
fly back to vancouver to ve donuts,
then lunch time go to korea to ve noodle, and night time go to singapore to visit him,
then go back home, hk, my bed.
hahahahahaha..... =.= kidding only.

still vent alesja's news...
how's she now?
i know jong hoon, hak gon, and everyone is writting the report now hahaha...
good luck to them !
tomorrow i'll meet susumu, for hair cut maybe... i'm not sure yet.
coz i cant go to his home, and i dont think he can come to my home.
so... i'm not sure, but perhaps to hang out tomorrow...

these two days, staying at home...
then i do the washing, hanging... yea... and then i sleep much, too tired and sick.

sigh~
darling ask me when i go back home...
october.
i really wanna go back earlier actually... but i cant just go back, you know...
it sounds stupid..
anyway... hum... i really wanna go back coz i dont want to stay at my aunt's home.
and i know aunt doesnt like share everything with me too. she just has no choices.
just as i do... i dont ve choices.
not big events happened between us... so... we're still being fine.
but for me, i really dont like this. and i really wanna move out actually.
when i go home, i know i would like to stay alone too... but it's too early for me.
i'd like to have my own room at least.
but... i dont know.

yes... yesterday.... jong hoon found my diary... and he wanted to read my diary...
he's so smart to get this link... well... i think... maybe now it's not the good time for him
to read my life? coz... few days before i've wrote about him...
about the misunderstanding or whatever i dont even wanna know the truth...
so... i dont want him to know too much...
and i feel embarassed too.

i even mention about the future to my darling on phone.
hummm i say... i dont know if i will expand my studies or just go working.
i'm not sure... and actually i'd e-mail him already. but i think he hasnt read yet.
he's really typical business type of person.
i dont know if it's good or not.
at least he's not a play boy =) and i'm very glad about it.
he's not good at speeches, but he's smart and hard working.
he's not good at.... expressing himself, but he's a kind man, i guess hahaha
i dont know if i can adapt the life with him... but he's so strong, and mature, so...
i think he would teach me alot... and perhaps we would have the happy life~

i shouldnt talk alot about him, right?
but i think... it's ok...
not really essential or that serious for some ppl come and find my dialy living.
i dont really care... it's not the secert at all...
although i know darling doesnt like...
he shouldnt stop me doing this actually, coz it all base on truth,
and i'd be honest and responsible for what i write here, everything here.
so... it's good for him, too... then... he would know directly how i feel via this media.
not really the media, but my diary my story.
if he's not free to talk to me... at least, when he has a bit free time, he could read my
diary anytime he wants.... at least he still knows what's going on with me here.

ok...
goodnight...

>>August 24, 2005 at 3:20:35 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 22 日 星期一 【晴】

tired....
sick...........

really want to call darling,
but today i still havent got my money, so i cant buy the phone card yet.
sigh....... i want to call mom, my friends in hk too...

tomorrow morning, i ve to find my doctor,
then afternoon, i dont know what to do yet.

anyway,
very tired and headache...
goodnight.

>>August 23, 2005 at 3:39:14 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 21 日 星期日 【晴】

alesja 's left already.
but i feel much better than last time...
i didnt cry, and i was fine.
just.....
hum,....
i think..... she comes happy, so... she should leave happy, too.
ppl come ppl go... that's always true.
i dont want to feel sad anymore... too much for me.
we had great time, always...
someday we will meet again. that's it.
right?

>>August 21, 2005 at 9:19:55 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 20 日 星期六 【晴】

alesja's last day.

we had lots of fun in this week.
since they're gone...
we stay together almost everday.
good... she's my best friend in vancouver... so...

but i'll be fine, dont worry for me =)

ok...
these two days,
thanks for susumu, too.... coz he s with us always, too =_)
yesterday.... we were at china town, then we went night market three together!
we had lots of funny food haha
and had lots of fun~
(ga lllll an ddo ba bo) hahahaha
thanks for alesja~
bubble... haha

ok,
today... we met at london drugs
then we went to bubble tea... last time =)
then we go granvil island ! nice...
we had great music !
and then i buy the supper cute necklace.

but i'm so sorry that in these few days i didnt call darling.
coz i cant call him... but i will buy the local call card tomorrow.
that stupid fido company is just sucking up my money.
i ve idd card now, but no local calling card... sigh.... stupid.
i miss him....

you know what
alesja ask susumu today...
who have gfs in korea already.
and susumu said jong hoon has, and he's a playboy.
ohoh... alesja and me feel so bad about that...
coz... we feel like we got cheated by jong hoon.
i was sad and angry for a bit while... coz... i know what jong hoon asked me and told me...
all just sucks up now... i mean... if he's really a big liar..
then... i feel so horrible about what men's thinking.
i mean... how can he do that?
alesja feel bad... but... ok... fine...
but plx stop talking this man in front of us anymore.

especially susumu and taku,
i really dont know why they always say jason jason in front of me.
what's so funny huh? we're just friend only...... " shut up. "
i was too nice to ask him forget me i guess...
coz... i think actually he was so happy to hear what i told him to do, right?
i should just ask him to fuck off ?
lucky that nothing really happened between us.
i know i was right and thanks god.
but i feel terrible...
then i asked myself... if my darling's cheating on me...
then... i think after him, i wont want any man...
men is not trust worthy.

anyway,
i'm talking with hak gon.
i asked him about the truth... coz i told me...
maybe susumu cheated ot jong hoon cheated.
but hak gon said... jong hoon doesnt has gf.
anyway...
i dont want to know anyting about this guy anymore.
coz....... actually i dont even need to know.

i really wanna make the call to darling today.,.....
but i cant call and aunt's not here...
i cant use her phone to call...
sigh...... so bad =(

alesja is leaving tomorrow.
but i think this time i wont cry.
coz... i think i'm ok..... and i wont cry about leaving anymore...
ppl come ppl go.
it always happen.
they're my friends, forever.
someday we will meet ~
=) good enough.

>>August 21, 2005 at 9:16:06 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 19 日 星期五 【晴】

always bubble tea =)

heehee
lately, since staphine bring us( me and alesja) to the tai wanese cafe for bubble tea,
i adore it!
well... it's in downtown, a bit far, but still on robson street...it's a bit near to the eng bay too.
so... now... coz alesja is moving back, we always go there for bubble tea.
you know i cant drink milk, so i just order something without milk.

anyway...
these days, i hang out everyday, dont have dinner at home.
hummm i dont want to be always like that...
but these 3 days re the last days for alesja... so... =)

and i called darling everyday, too.
he seems happier than the past week =)
i dont know what happened...
but, you know, from his msn name, he said... so far, 100 hrs ot already.
what the big money?.......but... i want him to rest more actually.
i ask him if he's ok... he says yes, why not. haha... fine fine... whatever.

thanks for queenie =) heehee
you know what i mean!

anyway,
i keep contact with jong hoon and hak gon everyday haha
see you later!

>>August 19, 2005 at 5:29:51 PM GMT+8