today have the morning class, organizational behavior.
hummm sleepy day...
back home then have sushi, hummm i bought it with mom.
*yawn~~~
hummm
ppl is telling me christmas is coming... i know i know...
that's what i can see from everywhere... but i'm not really happy... but not unhappy.
just feel a bit bored... sigh... not supposed to feel bored.
coz i ve lots of things to do... hummm i know i know.
and then,... hummm...
The tradeoff--
An exchange of one thing in return for another, especially relinquishment of one benefit or
advantage for another regarded as more desirable:"a fundamental trade-off between capitalist
prosperity and economic securit" (David A. Stockman).
that's very economic... sigh... big head...
but it does occur, not only in the economic world.
feeling like.... everything cant be stable.
i miss the happy days.
then lately, i call back to the past... hummm the memorries re so fresh.
hahaha.... sounds like not long time ago.
i found back my sim cards ( starhub and fido )
one is from singapore, one is from canada.
then... i've read all the sms again.
ahhhh i miss the days, the ppl... hummm... i really miss them alto alot alot...
today, we've talk about the 5 levels of needs.
hahah Mr Maslow.
***
missing...
***
>>December 19, 2005 at 7:55:58 AM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 17 日 星期六 【晴】
I'm very tired... =(
and start to be busy... >.<
=) i'm fine actually.
Last night :
last night was the last performance ... hummm leggy's last performance,
my family's last time to watch the tai po children choir's aniversary performance, too.
the funny christmas performance... haha lovely...
before that, i ve a morning makeup class for organizational behavior.
wahhh what a sleepy face on me...
sat still need to wake up early... so bad~~~ heehee
i ve do a bit make up, hummm dress up well, coz of the last time "little concert",
then i go to school... class is fine, we do some discussion, then yea... just rushing on time.
talking about the diversity on workplace. hummm lots of diversity =P
anyway,
then i back to tai po, ve lunch with my family first, then send leggy to the place,
and then... yea we back home, rest a bit...
but turned on the tv, the cable news chanel, oh gosh... the korean farmers re fighting our
hong kong police, i felt so fear... how come it becomes like that...
it has been very fine, peaceful ... then suddenly, they're very organized, and they know well
the routes to the hk confrence exhitbation center... i cant believe that.
and then... they're very strong but unresonablely mad at our police force.
aiyo... but many hk ppl re there watching them, they dont fear...
then at night, it became more violent. .. .. . but hk police didnt really attack them...
but finally at the early morning of today, police force started to send those 900 farmers to
the .... i think... some of the police stations in kowlnoon. that's a bit... out of control, but the
government said it's all under control. well... it's just kindda true...
coz ... if we use the upper voilence at first, they must be very very crazy to protect themselves,
then... it really becomes so hard to control. but now it's still fine right...
the wto will finish the confer. tonight... perhaps they would give a better deal for the farmers.
hummm i slept for 11 hours, really tired and desire to sleep more more and more ^^
then ve a small lunch, and start to do my stuffs.
sigh... finally i set up the topic, and after the discussion with wesley, we set up the
hypotheses already. good... the next step is to ask for help..haha!
i mean... i need to talk with my teachers... i'm nervous.
anyway i think it's gonna be fine... thanks.
i was doing some research... for... 5 hrs+ i guess. long, perhaps it would help us to
understand more in the topic so we would od better.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christmas is coming really really soon!
i just cant escape from it... ha... i'm very... affraid but looking forward it coming in everyyears
why i'm affraid... coz.... hummm getting old? haha maybe. i'm not telling anyone here.
looking forward it, coz it's really beauiful and nice... i really love christmas.
but since i'm growing... the ctristmas re not very beautiful to me.
after F. 4, then.... hummm every chritmas were not very happy ...
i was sad in chrtmas, in the past few years.
how about this year? =) waiting for it.
miss ya... really want to have a nice christmas with him
miss my friends, too ! hummm white christmas must be very beautiful =)
but a warm christmas is also very attracting to me.
by the way, have a very nice chritmas with my family and friends re my wish this year ;>
and then i wanna make a wish... for the ppl, who're in pain in this world.
and i wanna make a wish for myself, i dont need plenty of gifts =)
but i want a happy christmas =)
hey!.. dont forget jesus is the main charater in christmas neh!
miss ya...
***
>>December 18, 2005 at 12:23:14 PM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 15 日 星期四 【晴】
today is very tired, coz i ve two classes,
then... i was late to the second class, but too early in the fisrt class.
i had a long and bad day.
embarassed day...
but fine... i'm sitting at home now,
but gotta think of the stuffs for tomorrow.
actually i should e-mail to my teacher, coz ... yea have to... decide the topic on the research paper.
i did some information research, so i decide to... talk about the emotion with motivation,
and i wanna do the case studies on the teachers group.
i wanna know how differnt types of teacher change in the emotions and motivations during
class and after class. hummm i dont know,... i think i ve to narrow it.
by the way, it's not an indivual paper, so i have to work with the group.
i'm not very confident in group work...... especially i'm a freshman in this class.
but 2 of them just miss a class... they just start to understand by today.
so,... her ideas were banded by me, and the other girl, she 's not here today...
then the other guy, he has a wonderful idea, but too tough for us, right now situation...
so, finally we talk with the professor after class, and teach say mine is easlier...
hummm i preffer mine also, though his idea is quite nice. but only for the ... professional
ppl, who have a long period of time to study in it. so... eventually, yea.
but, i feel so tough to do it, i mean the case studies. coz... the christmas is coming,
then school... sigh... on holiday so soon, otherwise is on exams!
no classes..... =( how to do observation ? maybe just do some interview first.
but how's gonna be so free to speare us an hour ? ahhhhh i dont know...
i gotta talk to my teachers from college. so, i'm a bit worried.
coz we dont ve much time, we need time to organize the information, data, and we need
time to write, though i feel like they want to push the writting part to me. ahhhh i hate it.
no presentations plx, otherwise, i think we're gonna be asked lots of strange ques,
and then the pro already said he'll ... hummm,... i preffer a propper paper by two options.
he said... presentation required a short paper, but no presentation then we ve to write at
least 10- 13 pages.
erhhh.... i think... it's gonna be tough on me... how to hang in mid- Jan?
by the way, we've talk alot alot of... the case study and focus group, today.
he talks more on the tringle of love theroy.... then...
the more i found is, the passion is the sexal erge......... intamacy is you wanna get close
with him/her. it's the touch b/w ppl. but the passion is... you wanna see him/her,
wanna talk to him/her.
he asked us to do a simple experienment...
meet your date, but dont appear on time, especailly do it with the boy part.
then,... let's see how he react. when he sees you, he would feel happy if he loves you.
that's the behavior in one way of the passion. he would worried for your safty,
he would think of you, looking forward to seeing you.
but, reverse, if the guy scold you, or no feelings, then... well haha...
he asked us to erase that stupid guy in our memory. hahaha....
and then we 've watched a case, the movie..
hummm guys tend to ve sex first then love might come. oh well, some guys re love first or at the
same time... but women must ve love first then to sex.
"some men" ve the i forget the name... hummm like "he has another emotions or sexual thinking,
or even work that out, with other woman " then... some of these man just occasionally happen...
then he might feel guilty after that. it's very normal... he said it's the normal stage in male's world
to explore more in life. perhaps, there're many of men is in this type.
there're two others... i forgot, i ve to review first.. but i'm not going to blog at here.
hummmm,... actually almost every man, except someone who cant ve a funtionalbe
sexual life, he would... at least mental to think about tring to ve sex away home.
what "away home" i mean is to ve another experience with others.
so,... take it easy girls.... men is like this. just like girls, we women, like ppl to cherish us.
then men preffer us to repect them. it's the instinct, cant be changed...
he even talks about the marriage, if the woman cant match with the man in sex,
actually that man wont really love that woman. he might like her, but wont be love or for long.
it makes sense what... i agree with the studies shown, with the relaity reflection.
and those couple got seperated in two regions by job or otehr factors,
the man tend to find another sex partner. it's also true, unless that man cant funtion in that way.
so... hummm.... i think of myself... i ve nothing to say... so ironic...
i just can... laugh it off... * =) well, pretty nice to see my face.
i would accept, coz in this situation... i just ve nothing to say right... sigh....
i dontk now... seems like it 's gonna happen sooner or later. but i'm open with it ;>
man... can ve sex w/o love. but woman cant. is it fair ? hahaha
hummm he said... since you ve the passion with otehr guy/ girl, you're not loyal, you dont
commite to your patner already.... i ve a deeper thinking about this.
The second class, Substance Abuse.
wah... Mark Green is a really funny guy! hahahaha!
but, today class is a bit.... funnky or crappy...
hahaha... he's so great in getting attractions from us,
like teaching in the pre-school or primary school. hummm...
we talk alot on different drugs and it's effect, and the " pleasurable affect " hahaha!
we not gonna try any, Mark Green.
they're so sim, but categorized in 5 groups.... well well...
i've tried one type of them, the aolchol... nice... it makes me feel more relaxing.
hummm anyway, gotta stop, too long for today.
the more you found, the more you can feel.
last night i've read two very nice chapters from the materia for my research.
then... i've found something very nice to him, i just coppied down and send to him today.
perhaps he would read when he has time =)
hummm... love,... is a strange thing. but i guess, the more i see i learn in life,
the better choices i could make. or it's a very complex topic to learn...
so it takes life long time to finish these credits =)
i'm waiting for the right message...
***
>>December 16, 2005 at 1:34:52 PM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 14 日 星期三 【晴】
Today we have a long class...
wheeeelll.... but we gotta stop, coz time's up =) hee
yea... we ve covered lots of informatin, today... and a little exercise.
hummmm i was ... tired. ha... coz i slept late last night, but gotta get up quite early huh.
the class is in morning, so... it takes around 1 hr 15 mins or more to there...
i ve to go around 7 30am.
let's start the class of today.... the organizational behavior.
today, we talk about the foundation of indivual behavior...
then we talk ablot of personality.
the big five ... then yea... some application, and then some more elements.
by the way, the part, which 's regarding the Satisfaction, Loyalty, and Commitment,
is really... humm m that really touch the point i mean.
The Happiness:
if you work not happily, then you'll not satisfy with the job or the company,
the loyalty would decline, then finally the commitment would dissapper,
reflected by the worse performance. that's the psychological contract.
the psychological contract is a set of expectation(indivuals's with the organization's)
It's the contribution, the efforts from the indi, and the inducements from the organization.
The more satisfaction, the more loyalty, then finally it improves the performance.
It's like the interest, the hobby, to motivate you do better.
It takes place on the interface, which is the all possible elements, the actions you shown.
totally, there re three things re very very important...
the satisfaction, loyalty and the commitment.
ppl tend to put more efforts, when they're satisfied.
the commitment is... like...you know you ve to work well and you do... something like the willingness.
this can also be applied in other segments.
i mean not just the working pace or,... organization.
it's about human's behavior, indivually.
so basicaly that's the relationship between people.
still remember the trangle of love theory.
that is the intamacy, passion and commitment.
the commitment, why it allows, nope, why it could lead the relationship on,...
that's not just the single words on the promise, it's the meaning, the story behind.
that's the ppl's willingness to commit it. and what brings this willingness...
that's the satisfaction with the loyalty. the satisfaction might not need to be something very
materialistic, and the loyalty , com'on, castor you know what it is.
so, i guess why ppl is not loyal to their ppl coz they're not satisfied.
just dont care about the commitment, coz there's no commitment in mind anymore.
i think since the commitment is not be committed,
the passion and intamacy might not existed, dont even need to bother the meaning of layalty.
so... it's the end of the relationship?
hahaha so funny. but it really makes me think what... human is really complexed.
but what makes ppl satisfy...
ppl tend to find the best of the best, never satisfied.
then we've also talk about the big five personality.
i guess, now i start to understand why, during the interview, there're so much hard ques.
coz the com wanna hire the ppl who fit their thinking, i mean the ppl could contribute
what they exactly want. hummm they need the similarity and also the differences.
you see... globalization... it makes the market being larger, and also training the human brain
to be larger.
it's really funny, but ... the more you know, understand, the more you would think...
then you 'll get headache, like me.
yeah~
class is end, then i take bus 271 to tai po, then meet my parents ve lunch together.
wow, what a lovely life ^^
coz i can ve lunch with parents~~ heehee
yea, i use my super cup today... i feel so happy ^^
coz i can have some hot water on bus (the way to school)
hummm morning, i didnt take 271, i take another private bus, man it's the expensive
bus just beside the front door of Serenity Park at morning.
hummm dad suggest that bus... it's cheaper than train, but more expensive than bus.
but this choice is not bad, coz i dont need dad give me a ride to the the bus station,
then i dont need to walk to the kcr station. and train, mtr is just so crowed at the morning.
nice =)
bus fare (from Fu Hang bus station) : hkd $ 9.10
private bus fare (from Serenity Park, just 5 mins walking from home) : hkd $ 12.00
totally for Kcr and Mtr Route Fare : hkd $ 14.50
** Kcr fare (from Tai Wo station, man... need to walk for 15 mins++ from home to Tai Wo Station)
(Tai Wo to Kowloon Tong) : hkd $ 8.00 - 9.50
plus Mtr (from Kowloon Tong to Yau Ma Tei): hkd $ 5.00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Yawn~~~
Tired...
when i think about what i posted for yesterday, i feel... headache...
sigh... i also dont know what to do. i dont know if i had thought too much or just my sense
re too strong. it just ... like... the caios.
there're lots of theories, logical stuffs in my mind, and there're lots of trust at there.
i dont know which way i towards would make me feel better.
and i really dont know about my own point of view ... so messy... " messed up"
i dont want to judge on myself or him.
how i feel is important, but... i'm used to be influenced by the fact.
so i want to know the fact, the truth... but what he told me is just... kindda unbelievable.
as a role of playing trust or not... i'm not sure.
and that's why i'm always unsure. coz i m too dependant on the fact, the stuffs in present.
if there's nothing i can see clear, or i can sense, (well my sense is too important),
then i would get lost so easily unless i see the way. castor is stupid.
if there's a picture in future i can see now, that would be very nice...
i just cant apply my logics to the present parts of my situations, so blindly.
it's so unfair to him, coz sounds like i've already pre-judge on him.
everything is influenced by the enviornment and histroy everyday...
then what's the present now?
wah... so long... gotta stop.
***
>>December 15, 2005 at 8:32:29 AM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 13 日 星期二 【晴】
What Nightfall Means... i want a daybreak.
something happened last night.
suddenly something comes to my brain.
the association... i just cant stop thinking of it.
***
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but good-bye
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say good-bye
***
Do you know what does the Nightfall means?
That's the time when Darkness comes.
Do you know what does the Darksoul means?
i guess.... that's the spirit wonderful like the darkness.
why i burn those questions on?
there's no such a reason. just like there're so many undisscovered answers.
i did find out something very badly, which i cant just blind myself.
i want to find out all the truth. but it's gonna getting hurt.
i cant tell anymore at here.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry.
i let you being in your way, but it's killing myself.
i dont want to hold you back from where you belong to.
i could see you're still there.
but it's not the fault of you.
i dont know how to let you know.
***
>>December 14, 2005 at 9:18:30 AM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 12 日 星期一 【晴】
Series Of Slides of Today
The Mood- Street- Class- My Cup- Chats- 2 pieces of News- My View
wahhhhh... today is quite stuffy...
i not talking about the weather, i mean... my mood.
i woke up around 11 am,... it becomes my usual time to get off of my bed.
i planed to study,.... ahhhhh so bad that i didnt.
i'm lazy... coz of the mood ? i don know =( but i think maybe... coz just doesnt need to
catch on every chapters, then of course, if i read through all would be always better.
yea... i know what to do, man.
then, i ate my lunch very early, hummm just around 12 ?
then i was playing around, not really playing...
nothing play at home hahaha... but just resting i guess.
then, i watched tv, and changing, doing a bit make up,... then watching tv,
tidy up stuffs, then i went out for my Substance Abuse class.
i was almost late, damn it..
i dont know why it just takes so long to there .
so many ppl walking on the street... they re blocking me everywhere.
hummmm what pissed me off is... mostly, they're all teens.
what the hell they're doing on street around 3 30 pm?
coz after school nothing to do? go home then, or do something behind the conner.
they 're very free ! walking so slow... but hk ppl is not like them what.
they're not indivually walking... they're like 4 - 6 ppl in a group.
they're just blocking, and i was getting stuck.
sigh...
when i get in class, five mins left to start.
but... my sad face is... the three super women was sitting at the first line
then there re around 6 u- station students sitting in front of me, the sec line.
i was taking a seat on the third line, but... just very crowed.
ahhhhh i really hate it... so i always try my best to get in to a better place.
the class was finished quite early today, dismissed around 5 30 pm,
supposed to be 6 45pm.
coz... still not holding any materials yet, like the most important thing-- the text book.
even him, Mark. Green doesnt hold one, then how to teach.
he doesnt want us watching movie every letures, well....
but we do disscuss alot about the repot. perhaps it wouldnt be too rushing...
coz we dont ve must time, but just we cant do anything now.
then, i left school with Weshley, coz he's taking train to home...
yea, i went to starbucks first, coz i wanna buy my cup. yeah... finally i ve one =)
oh ! i didnt know i 'd got a cupon for a free drink from starbucks, just coz i buy a cup!
hahaha =D yeah ~
then... i left happily ^^ coz i got my cup and free drink voucher !
i didnt use the voucher imediately ^^~~~ then i will use it someday hoho~
yea then we walk towards the kcr station.
on the way, i've met my dear workmates from Star||, McDonald's !
if i didnt forget their name.. they re... Billy,... hummm, ... actually i just remember Billy. hahaha
i forgot their names ><... i think there're around... 5 - 6 ppl there just now.
i'm so sorry i forgot their names... but i'm really gald to see them!! ^^
they regonize me first, then... yea... i just look back, then i know i ve to say hi, haha.
actually i've noticed them in front of me, but i just didnt greet them,..
coz sounds like... last time i went to Star||, but just looking for my teamates...
so maybe i'll be back to Star|| on another day, then just greet them ... but yea,
i think i should greet them =) so... we've chated for a couple of mins.
Weshley went to take kcr, but i went to wait for the mini bus.
hummm...
i've found that in class, there's a student, who is also from TPMS, i mean... my primary school.
Tai Po Methodist School.... then she also knows a few ppl in my form.
she's older than me by one year. yea... and she told me... my old schoolmate got cancer,
but then... yea i knew it happened for long, but i'm not close with him, so i didnt pay lots of
attentions on him... then she told me... he passed away a few days ago.
i was very... hocked... coz what io heard before was... he's doing fine, on medication,
and on check, everything is okay... but... i dont know... so sudden... he passed away.
i was shocked and unhappy of course,
coz he's as same age as me, then... we re in the same primary school, same college.
so... although i'm not close to him, i really know who he is, and i care what happened to him.
but just couldnt help and even didnt ... really comfort or visit him.
oh sh*t... i dont know... i feel so sorry and ... feel strange...
coz... he's really young... only 19, same as me... but... yea...
He's Jacky Lee.
and then a few days ago, there was a very hot news in hk,
about the young couple, who re the F. 5 students, jumpped down.
it's still very hot in hk, i mean this news.
then... i've heard that, some students, their friends found her diary, and ... just... explose
the privacy out. like... how many times they ve sex per week, and how long they ve been
having sex ... such like this.
i 'm so ashame for those ugly ppl. why they do that.
they jumpped down already, right... yea, the girl got pregrant, she doesnt know how to face
it, and the guy also... then they commit suecide... oh gosh... dont know what to say.
those students re living in Tai Po, also. i know their school, and i know... maybe i've seen
them before in Tai Po. I just... feel so sorry for them... heard that they're good students.
then i dont understand why the good students would have been practising sex in hk, this society.
isnt it not been accepted huh? i dont know.... they're just 16 or 17 only.
so pity..
sex... it kills ppl what...
i wonder... how many ppl at my age group, have been practising sex with their love.
suddenly feel like i'm pretty young. and some students re even younger than me,
but they do that, maybe quite often... i dont know...
i wonder,... if i stay with benny at the same region, then if we would have sex.
i think it's quite obvious that westen girls and guys dont mind.... they dont care...
but i'm chinese. i dont mean i mind or not... but just a very interesting topic within girls.
what a good chating... hahaha... when i'll ve another girl talk with my friends?
how about guys? what guys think... i'm always interested in "cause and effect".
so yea, sex approaches ... interesting, am i very 3.8. ? hahaha
i want a lady night, hahahaha... just like what we did in canada.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oh... i wont really ask ppl around about their private affairs with their love,
but i'm sure that i would ask alot with my best ladies ;> heehee... kidding.
by the way, i miss him.
i hope i can hug him.... really.
actually sometimes i would affraid, if we would be apart for a very long time,
or... just if i couldnt stand that any longer. coz it's really depressing in the way of...
ok, enough =)
perhaps tonight i would read more on my "Return of the Little Prince"
and before, i would catch on the chapter 3.
***
>>December 13, 2005 at 12:50:47 PM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 11 日 星期日 【晴】
wah wah wah...
last night i slept late, then i was super sleepy when i get up...
aiya~ then today is quite cool, not cold, but cool.
then... i take train, coz i was worried abou the bus lines would be disruped by the wto confer.
yea... then i back to school quite early today morning, then i went to starbucks,
coz i wanna get that outdoor cup, then i didnt find any...
then i went to mcdonald's to get the tea, morning tea.
humm then i start my beautiful day =)
yea today the class was fine.
i was sleepy, so... i tried my best, take notes on neverything he talk about,
then i didnt fall asleep... yea i must takenotes, otherwise i would fall asleep.
=) i enjoy alot, though i didnt really join the class discussion... i dontk now, i was just...
thinking what he says, questions, possiblities, factors, etc over and over again.
i just keep thinking, and taking notes for myself and other students. keep writting.
so, after class, i was quite hungry. i had a slide of bread with kaya ^^ for breakfast.
coz my soyo milk was expired already.
then after class, my group stayed awhile, talking about the research paper.
hummm we might focus on the "teacher". i mean... something about teacher's life.
hummm sounds interesting, right...
so... i wanna develope more on this topic... butmust hold some theories or information first.
i think that might be linked up with a few categories.
like,... behavior with age, the 8 stages of life... or... somemore?
i'm lack of this kind of knowledge... i guess oterh ppl might be better than me..
but it's fine, i'll try my best.... yea... should e-mail to the professor first.
i'm very tired, then... i went back to tai po, have Fliet O Fish w/o cheese =P
heehee, my favourite.
i had mcdonald's with mom, then... we came back home together.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ L o v e * F a m i l y * G r o w t h- i n d e p e n d a n t ]
i miss him.
the last two nights, i tried to call him around mid- night.
but not avialable... then i started worried...
yea... he used to be that, but i'm worried, ok..
it just cant stop ppl worried for the one they concern.
like my mom 's never stop worring for us. i'm not his mom, but... you know what i mean castor.
some ppl say... i rather my children let me know how naughty they're , not hiding away,
or i rather my children shared w/ me when they ve problems, coz ...
although i'd be worried, (their age is not the matter), it's still be better than knowing
everything at the last min, or even never known.
then, the "pro" would told them...
yea, and that depends on your speaking skills.
if you... present a way, which make your children scare to let you know,...
then you'd never known.
wow... i feel like... oh my gosh.
anyway, i heard that quite long time ago... but within 2 months, in hk.
speaking... is kindda Art... espcially in the communication.
anyway... it's very important in life to learn how to share. but i do have something my
parents dont know, and i 'd never expected they would know, such as the days in sg with him,
or about the truth in my hkcee. i feel like... it's my own matter, it's my affairs,
and they dont need to know.
i'll grow up someday, and i dont want them to know everything,
coz it conducts so much burdens and stress on me....
i know it's the problem on myself, but i'm not gonna solve it,... just dont need.
they know almost everything execpt a few shadow in life.
i wonder... the outside affairs, i shouldnt bring to home.
at home, i just study, joke alot, play with my sisters, cook (so often), or eat haha...
then yea, share some simply stuffs from outside, so light... and when i get hurt, i fell upset,
i dont bring back to home. i kill them by myself or i'm sad, but i will talk with friends only.
i dont know if it's called independant, but i'm sure that's a normal stage in life.
especially during the period, which is after the adolences, but before becoming a complete
adult. right ?... yup.
except my personal finance, i'm independant.
ahhhhh... tired =)
***
>>December 12, 2005 at 7:44:30 AM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 10 日 星期六 【晴】
Last night, i slept before 12 am,
i slept for 12 hrs... so good =)
then today after lunch,
daddy drive me to the book store to get my another book,
then, yea, to his office...
then i left, i went to Esprit, coz i tried to get a part time job at there,
i left my name and contact number at there, and then i went to McDonald's !!!
START || !!! ^^ the store!!!
then i've met Kenny !!! My dear Teamate !
oh gosh, he was holding a party !!!! i envy him !
then Sankie, my head, she was sent to No.25, Peaking Road... so i went there =)
then i've been waiting for her,
then we went to starbucks =)
we've chated alot... then yea i was listening to her... coz... yea... she need someone
to talk to, to listen to her.
then i get back home,
and now, sitting here, and chating ith Hak Gon and my dear friend, Alesja !!!
they're both my dear friends !!
^^
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I was upset, i didnt start the chapter 2,
but then tonight, i will read the chapter 2.
hummm i miss him i miss all my friends.
i know i cant do alot of things, but i'll try my best...
coz i just want to do as much as i can, and i just want my friends feel happy.
and i want my dear feel happy, too...
but i know in this world, a very complex world, ppl re really prtective for themsleves,
they rather hesitate other's motivations, than to trust the reasons from the person claims.
that's weird... why should be so complex... it could be simple what.
where's misunerstand from... it could be in the certain ways. but who cares ?
i dont know...
i dont want to get involved, but i want to tell my friends, and the ppl i care or just around,
that i'll give you support whatever would be. yea... so... just stay strong, be yourself.
coz i'll be always at your side, not that kind of " at your side for no matter reasons"
but i'll always want you being fine, and yea... i want you feel fine.
and for my dear, i dont know what to say,
but i'll listen to him, let's see how it goes... coz... i trust him.
i'm happy with that, my trust to him, to our relationship, although i m not sure if it's good for us.
perhaps it'll be fine.
***
>>December 11, 2005 at 1:02:47 PM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 9 日 星期五 【晴】
Last night,
finally i ve finishe the chapter 1... i was so sleepy...
hummm i didnt start the chapter 2 yet. but gonna do it later.
today, i woke up quite late of course, coz i slept at 5 30am.
then... come update some information, then have lunch,
then went out with my family...
now is back.
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[ M Y * L O V E v.s. S P E C C H- L E S S ]
i've wrote a very long letter, i wrote down my feelings.
i did that, not coz i was too free.
as i said, i planed to start the chapter 2, right... then coz ....
hummm i dont know how to say... maybe i was so sleepy =)
but dont worry, i'm okay.
today,
i sms him.
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" Goodbye "
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but good-bye
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say good-bye
*********************************************************
" Never Let You Go "
The rain just never seems to bring
the joy I feel the same
everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart can't seem to learn to part
the hold you left your mark
all that I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now but give in
If you gave me one chance to tell you just how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't
live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you just how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
and ya know I'd never let you go
The way you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything of that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
to share the sunset our one last romance
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
there is nothing.
my love, my fate, will you fade away ?
why you sacred me...
***
>>December 10, 2005 at 10:30:24 AM GMT+8
2005 年 12 月 8 日 星期四 【晴】
Last night,
i sept at 3 am...
i was reading my book. actually i got one book for Organizational Behavior already.
then... i read the chapter one... not finished yet, but 7 pages only...
i spent for... around 2 hours +++
then... today i woke up so late, i m really sleepy,
then i read the book againg.... then almost finished chapter 1.
then i spent... 2 hrs +++ for 10 pages =)
i would finish the chaper 1 and the diss. tonight =)
then tomorrow i will finish the chapter 2 =P
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then, today i've called him... hummm he didnt reply,
then i've called ade also ^^
finally i can chat with her! she's fine, but just busy for final exam~
wish her luck!!!
and then today is' hak gon's test =) great! he did well ^^ heehee
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just now,
i went to pick up miki,
coz friday i used to have class afternoon... so today is free, then i meet her =P
then, we went to libary, and then we have tea time together.
=) nice !
then we walk around, and back to home =P
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i miss all of my friends =)
and then i miss the ppl i cant meet again,
and i also miss Ya.
hahaha what i'm talking about?
i dont know too =.=
good luck~~
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
today have the morning class, organizational behavior.
Today we have a long class...
Last night, i slept before 12 am,
Someone who know