2006 年 4 月 18 日 星期二 【晴】

today i got to work...
so tough... my legs are very tired... my brain is also tired..
i'm always tired.. sigh..
from 8 30 - 3 pm. then 3 45 have class.
anyway... i didnt take a break.. i just rushed my "lunch" before class really started.
i ate 4 dumplings...

alright... Group Dynamics Class..
today, our formal group is formed finally...
me, Christine, Bobo, Yedda nad Rami. nice group~
okay... our project starts.. and then the final exam is coming on 1 st May. so CRAZY...

alright...

last night didnt really sleep...
couldnt sleep... have been thinking of so many things... some ppl..
i tried to.... sort out the problems i have, and seperating ppl and things apart..
then... i think it'll be soon for me to get the result for myself.
no one should be invovled. i'm gonna make my own decision.

by the way..
my results from last term back..
so bad... coz... i thought i would have 2 As or 3 As...
then... now is 2 Bs 1 A.
hummm Research Methods is A..
Human Growth is B
Diversy Culture is B.
i guess my quizs socres of Human Growth re quite low, yet still upper average..
however i thought my final exam was great, would help alot and that report would help alot..
coz our report got full marks.. yea... so... my final exam might be not good enough.. sigh..
then for Diverse Culture.... 50% for Mid-Term, 50% for Final..
the Mid-term i got only 83 points... i didnt prepare for anyting. damn... that period was really
bad... i dont even can concentrate in class... i just had enough time but no hearts on studies..
so pity... and then i dont know what's my score on my final, but should be pretty well done.
so... average... i got a B.
Fair? pretty fair... i guess for both two courses, i was pretty close to A.
Cas, you should work really hard in this term... coz... this term would be the last one in this building.
and also the last term studying with these professors.
treasure your time in class =)

***

>>April 19, 2006 at 1:22:24 PM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 17 日 星期一 【晴】

yesterday i didnt come, right?
anyway, a few night ago... i felt like having heart attack..
i'm not so sure about it, but around that area i felt so much pain..
i couldnt breath deeply or fast, cant talk fast or loud..

yesterday i was kindd sad and busy... dont really wanan come.
how to say... hummmm... i was preparing the outline for today.
woke up early, then watching movie, and back to sleep again...
then woke again hahaha ate out with family for lunch.
then back home doing research, and do some discussion with groupmates.
hum hum hum... at night then waiting ro reply and finish the outline.

i think.... of alot of ppl... when i was in my bed.
i pray and i cried. last night was a hard night. i couldnt sleep, and i didnt cleep well, too.
but then today gotta waked up so early... still have some problems with the water supply.
then i went to pacific coffe, take an early break, man... i need to breath, i need the peace.
then... meting with my groupmates, for a discussion before class .
then after class i back home..
doing some typing, doing summary for the class... i mena like... make association, connection
of the information i got from class with my own life experience, and do some anyla. great.
if you wanna know.. i could show you... you go friendster.. actually that's kindda like...
using my family, my history to match with the theories hahaha... but funny!
coz i could see the shadow of tae cheung gum... where? inside me =) hahahaha..

okay...
here we go... another serious part ...
some friends ask me... how're you doing castor? then the sec que is...
how're you with benny ? ahhhhhhhh.... i dont wanna tell the whole world here..
but you know what..... i'm taking a break for myself. which means... i wanna be free.
i dont want him in my mind... but i find it's kindda hard....
i dont look for him, when i'm on line. i dont have any expectations anymroe..
feeling like dead... but you know... he's always on my mind.. he's here i mean... he's ard.
that's my feelings. i couldnt just leave him, but i'm really tired.
i dont know what to do... should i still keep it or if i should ask for the sec time(break up)...
now, i'm like... kindda fear to face him... i dont know what kind of feeligns it is... so strange.

ppl dontk now what's going on with me here, right?
coz you guys re sooooo busy, dont care about castor le hahaha...
kidding. hummm emos syug era gnitiaw rof em. that's it.
sigh..... i dont wanna get other ppl involved... i dont wanna presurize myself now..
too muct already...

btw, would he get the post? otherwise after 2 months, then the post would be coming back to
my home? i really would like to throw it away. i cant stand that twice. i'm still thinking what to do
with the first one... it's already here with me. and my mom asking me ques about the post and benny.
i dont know what to say ... i keep my mouth shut.
***

HEY WORK HARD CASTOR!
anyway... good news here:
i might have anotehr new part-time job =)
i might work for my classmate, for some paper work or admin work at his office.
wah... that's the very good news... coz... if this job is stable, i might not work at pcc le..
so tough woking at a cafe... and the pointis i dont feel like they would teach me anything.
coz it's a part-time work, they say... i'm just a helper... so... helper just need to do washing, right?
anywya... i dont care... it's just a job for me. it's not te meaningful job, not like my past.
so... yea if i have a better one, i would just resign.

***

Dudes, or whoever here...
if you blame me for my coldness to benny or if you blame me for my bad behaviors recently,
i would have nothing to defense for myself. coz it does happen.
i'm blaming myself also... that's why i feel so stress and upset... i'm guilty, i am upset, i 'm hurt.
like... whatever decision i make i would always hurt someone.
plx repect that's life. repect the ppl i love, and repect the ppl here, me.

***

>>April 18, 2006 at 12:15:35 PM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 15 日 星期六 【晴】

today, i was soooooooooo bored, then i hang out with Yedda..
She's with me today, keep everything out of my mind today...
hummmm we walked around, then.... seat at startbucks...
i had a piece of nice cake hohoho.. with the lemonade.


i wanan share my sister's bday pic and my donuts from aunt's pic here =)



















***

>>April 17, 2006 at 5:43:38 AM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 14 日 星期五 【晴】

Little Sharing with you guys here,


http://web.tickle.com/tests/idealrelationship/paidresult.jsp?
or go my frinedster blog.

So, generally, i would like to have the interdependant relationsip, close, intimate, passionate and committed.
I feel really nice to take this kind of test. especially i'm studying in psychology. pretty much time
thinking of human's behavior + theory stuffs. i like to know myself more that's also true. hummm
hope this little sharing here would make you think of yourself also. i do the anlyasis here coz i feel
really funny with tests and i dont just blindly listen to this. hummm this test is good for myself and
also providing a way to let my friends understanding me more. i still believe that the more
understanding in yourself you have, the better ways you would be able to deal with. not only for
yourself, even for the ppl around or your mate.

HERE YOU GO..
some ques are 10 points , some are 100 points.


April 14, 2006
Cas's Ideal Relationship Report.

Castor, the thing you need most in a relationship is

Deep Connection


In your ideal relationship you and you partner would be deeply and passionately connected.
This sense of intimacy is really important for you. As is the need for certain rules and an
understanding of who wields the power in your relationship. But regardless of how this works,
your deep need for this kind of closeness will ultimately drive your relationship.
[seems true]

There are 2 overarching themes that determine the kind of relationship you ultimately desire:
the kind of intimacy you want to have with your partner, and the amount of flexibility you
want to have within your relationship.

But as concepts, "intimacy" and "flexibility" might seem too broad and vague to fully comprehend.
Because of this, psychologists have broken them down into subscales that will help you
understand more clearly what intimacy and flexibility really mean for you in the context of a
relationship.

The kind of intimacy you want is determined by three subscales: the kind of support you want,
the depth of connection you want, and the amount of sharing you'd like to do with your partner.

The amount of flexibility you want is also determined by three subscales: who's in control of the
relationship, how much do you want you and your partner to grow with one another, and how
many formal rules or guidelines do you want to establish in your relationship.

When taken as a whole, all of these scales together help identify the relationship best suited for
you, they determine your ideal relationship.

Read on to understand more about them, and to see how you scored on all of them.

Intimacy
points: 90
Your ideal relationship involves a high level of intimacy. Basically, intimacy describes the level
of emotional closeness that you desire in your ideal relationship. More specifically, when it's
broken down, the level of intimacy you desire is determined by three distinct ideals: how much
support you need, the depth of connection that you desire, and the amount of sharing you
want to do with your partner. These three elements of intimacy — support, depth of connection
, and sharing — are described below. But generally what this means is you desire a relationship
in which you give and receive a lot of support and in which you feel intimately bonded with your
partner. You believe this will create a high level of trust and respect in the relationship. You also
want your partner and you to be able to openly share your experiences and feelings with one
another.
[wow, so true huh]

As indicated earlier, your intimacy score is composed of three parts: support, depth of emotional
connection, and levels of sharing. Given its complexity, intimacy can look quite different from one
relationship to the next. You can get a better idea of what makes you more or less of an intimacy-
seeker by looking further into these three aspects of intimacy.

Support

points: 9.1
Supportiveness is characterized by the level of acceptance you have of one another's flaws,
the fairness of your interactions, as well as the level of respect and trust you have for one
another. These traits vary depending on your personalities and how strongly you feel about one
another.
[ yea, my trust, respect, all base on how strong i feel about the guy. i usually give lots of
support]

In your case you desire a very strong level of support in your ideal relationship. You believe
that if you can be trusting and respectful towards one another, it will permeate everything the
two of you do together. You are accepting and warm, generous with one another, and
determined to be fair. [yup, so true.]


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Depth of Connection
points: 7.1
Depth of Connection refers exactly to the level of connectedness in a relationship. When you're
deeply connected with someone, you're sensitive to the time you spend together and the
frequency with which you are together. At this level of connection, any change in your bond
can be disruptive. Depth of connection also refers to the degree to which each of you strive to
accept and understand one another as a unique individual. Lastly, depth of connection also
involves how much communication you desire and the amount of unity you want in your
relationship; some couples remain more separate than others even though they are committed
to the relationship, while others prefer such a close merger that the two people effectively
become one.
[ i really desire deeply connection with my mate, and i do respect myself and him
as an two unigue indi. so i really desire my own space also. however, time would make us
become more closer, and the "rules" b/w us would be changed, invisibaly, by us. ]

In your case your ideal relationship has a high level of depth. Your ideal relationship would have
you so joined at the hip that any time spent apart might at times feel intolerable. You enjoy getting
to know everything you can about your romantic partner — who they are and what they want
in the relationship. It's important to you to spend almost all of your time together so that there is a
sense of security in the relationship. With this level of depth, it can be somewhat threatening
when separation appears likely or imminent. But the joy of being deeply and intimately connected
is a stronger force than is the threat of losing that person.
[ True...i enjoy getting know him deeply, coz of the desire of connection with him. security
feelings are not that important for me. i think i wanna know him more, coz bascially i'm a curious
person, and he's that close with me, then how can i dont keep him away from me? haha ]


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sharing
points: 7.1
People share many things in a relationship. You may share some aspects of yourself and not
others. Or it might be very important to you to share everything. How much sharing you desire
depends on your need for privacy as well as how well you want to understand life from another
person's perspective. Sharing means telling each other about what you're thinking and feeling,
the life decisions you're trying to make, your dreams and hopes, as well as your past experiences.
Disclosing these things is more comfortable for some than it is for others.
[ comfortable, yup. when you share, make sure you feel comfortable. i think... sharing has its
limits. i do respect what ppl wanna share and what dont they. the point is... sharing shold be the
possitive thing, make you feel nice. so, yea... i respect that. and i guess gossiping is not a kind of
sharing. Privacy, i do respect of that. for me, i got only very few things cant share with my mate,
and that should be sharing in a marriage life. ]

In your case your ideal relationship is full of sharing. You want to know your partner's dreams,
thoughts, feelings, aspirations, hopes, past experiences — the list is really endless. And you
want to share the same with them. This level of disclosure and intimacy is what makes a
relationship complete for you — your ideal relationship, at least. You want to share your life with
your partner as fully as you can. For you, that means building a partnership where you can be
honest with what you are feeling and where there are no surprises jumping out at you as a
result of your partner failing to fully share with you. [Yup. It's real. and.... it's hard.]

Now let's look at the second dimension that helps determine the shape your ideal relationship
should take.

Flexibility
points: 43
Your ideal relationship also involves a low level of flexibility. Flexibility refers to many different
things, including your willingness to grow with your romantic partner over time, both as they
change as well as when you change. Flexibility indicates your tolerance for weathering storms
and for enduring those difficult challenges in life that arise. It also includes the balance of control
in your ideal relationship -- the more that either party is controlling the relationship, the less flexibility
there is. We will delve into each of these aspects later sections of this report. But generally
what it means for you is your ideal relationship is one in which one on you holds more power
and control than the other in the relationship. You desire many rules, regulations, and mutual
understandings that will keep your relationship structured and less prone to confusion or conflict.
In this relationship, change is usually unwelcome due to your comfort with the status quo.
[ NOT TRUE !! well... i'm absolutely willing to grow with my mate, i dont wanna take the control,
and i do look for the balance. i dont desire many rules. i just need to understand what's going on b/w
us, and i hope he knows also. the understanding is mroe important. rules would make me tired.
changes are always welcome. no changes are not the grwoth. ]

Now let's take a closer look at various aspects of your flexibility score. For this test, your overall
flexibility score is determined by three subscores: control, growth, and formality. You can get a better
idea of what makes you more or less of a flexibility-seeker by looking further into these three areas
and by seeing how you measure up on the different scales.

Control
points: 6
Control is determined by evaluating several different aspects of the power balance in a relationship.
First is something called "locus of control," which essentially indicates whether or not you feel that
you have some hand in steering the direction of your relationship. Obviously it takes two to tango
in a relationship, but that doesn't always mean that each of you have an equal feeling of control.
For example, does one of you tend to always get blamed when something goes awry while the
other receives every bit of credit when all is well? Another aspect is the authority you assume or
want others to have over you — do you like to take charge in a relationship or do you like your
partner to have the reins? Lastly, control involves the division of responsibilities that each party in
a relationship is willing to take on. Essentially, do you want to handle all of the tasks in your relationship or would you prefer for your partner to do almost everything for you?
[ i hope we could handle together. i'm internal of control, which means i would usually look at
myself first, when problems come. i would ask myself if i did something wrong or i'm not good
enough. then i would look at others. i always blame myself even though i would still blame others.
actually, inside, i'm bleeding when i really gotta blame others. coz i would feel like coz of me, ppl do
that to me. so, if i dont get any reasons why ppl do that, i always confused by them. especially in
relationship, i cant stand that. i would be pretty upset and puzzeld. *Locus of Control is a psycholog
term. There're Internal of control and External of Control.]

In your case you don't want to make all the decisions or assume all of the responsibility, nor do
you want your relationship partner to do it all either. It is when things are most balanced that you
feel most comfortable with the power dynamic in your relationship. [heehee! YES!]


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Growth
Points: 10
Your desire for growth with your romantic partner is the second area that contributes to the overall
flexibility dimension. Desire for growth varies greatly from person to person and is dependent on
several different things. First, growth is assessed by your willingness to weather the changes in
your relationship and by how much change you are comfortable and capable of enduring. This
aspect gives an indication of just how much you would be willing to sacrifice in order to stay in a
relationship that is working for you. Are you out the door at the first sign of danger or are you willing
to take the changes in stride so that you can stay together? When your partner goes through hard
times, will you be there when they emerge from their slump? All of this is indicated in your growth
results.
[ i am willing to sacrifice, but what degrees? hummm my ans is that i would really sacrifice.
but i hope that doesnt influence others. when it would influence otehrs, then i would think which
way to go would be better.]

In your case your ideal relationship is very strong and committed to growth. Regardless of the
changes that you may face, you will stick together. You are willing to sacrifice a lot for one another
and for what you think is right. No problem is too big for you to deal with together— you are
committed to doing everything you can to work things through.
[ hahaha... very scary huh? yes... i feel terrible about that... but i would say it has its limtis.
Committment requires two parties.]


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Formality
Points: 3
Formality is third component of the flexibility dimension. It indicates the degree to which you desire
a structure and a set of guidelines to govern your relationship. Rules are the biggest part of formality
and where you can see the most notable differences between partners — some people run their
personal lives as a business and others operate as a free-for-all. Depending on the level of
guidelines, rules, and conventions you are comfortable with, your formality score will vary.

In your case your ideal relationship is very informal. Rules and regulations, guidelines and
conventions are all left at the door when moving from the outside world to the world of your ideal
relationship. In your eyes, more structure leads to less intimacy and less breathing room for you
and your partner. Only with a laid-back agreement can you relax and make the most of your
relationship.
[ HAHAHA what?! you're really living in my brain huh? wow! so great! i really love psychology
now!-- nah... psy doesnt mean reading through ppl's mind. psy is the study, which is through
scienctific method to observe, examine behavior.. haha and...it's the study in behavior and predicting
behavior. i'm a good psychology student ;) ]

At this point, you should have a really clear picture of what your ideal relationship looks like.
This in-depth understanding of what you value should be helpful to you as you continue the
quest for your life partner. After all, if you know what you want, you are more likely to recognize it
when you see it.
[Yup... but it's hard to do so.]

But, once you find your mate, it is likely that you will hit some bumps in the road — after all, it is
rare relationship that doesn't have some difficulties. [YES!!!] As such, we want to give you some
personal insight and tools that can help you avert relationship problems and pave the road for a
smooth relationship ride.

Problems You Might Encounter


Every relationship has problems, so you should come to expect some difficulties and do what you
can to prepare for them — without also driving yourself crazy trying to stop bad things from
happening. Depending on your relationship style, there are some particular problems that you are
most likely to experience in your ideal relationship. You may not be able to prevent these problems
from happening altogether, but when they do strike, perhaps you will be able to solve them more
quickly.
[ always has problems always trying to fix. but that requires two ppl's efforts. sometimes
you do understand the reasons or problems, but you cant do anything also. do you get it? ]

Ultimately, with enough practice, you will be able to spot problematic patterns that are inherent to
your relationship style and even anticipate them before they happen. That way you can keep your
relationship in tip-top shape. After all, we all know that the ideal relationship is hard to come by.
But with an understanding of your personal relationship style, creating a relationship closer to your
ideal is well within your reach.
[ so i should give up on my current now? sick... ]

As you recall, your ideal relationship style is one with a Deep Connection. You tend to want a
high level of intimacy and not much flexibility in your romantic relationships. This relationship style
will work well as long as your relationship doesn't hit any big bumps in the road. But if a serious
difficulty does surface, you are in for a challenge. The problems you are most likely to face are in
regards to the intensity of the relationship coupled with its relative inflexibility. This could result in
a suffocating situation in which your relationship is full of passion but there simply isn't enough
room to breathe. Without enough flexibility to weather the wild fluctuations that you might expect
from an impassioned, intense relationship, you could find yourself in rough waters.
[ OMG, so true huh...but the point is, i'm quite flexible, at least i feel myself of that. but i'm really
feeling hard to breath and soon to be in the suffocating situation now. impassioned, intense
relationsip... i wanna ask for a break, but human being, i do know that since the break begins,
the break up coming soon. that's real, coz... why ppl want a break? coz wanna breath. when
they can breath, they feel happier, why turn back? i wanna say something here... the valuable
break is... after a short or long period, then you would find something more in the past that you
ve missed or you would find your real direction. might be paching up, or might be really breaking
up, but it's nothing bad to both. you might see more happiness in your face, you might see mroe
tears under your pillow. but, at least you've got a chance, time to think to firgue out what do you
want and what has been gone, what's remaining, and what 's your direction. i dont think it's gonna
wasting time or just the bad sign. ]

In the face of problems, a power imbalance may develop that you feel is unfair and damaging to
your connection with your partner. The loss of intimacy can be very painful, and the inability to
express what you're feeling can lead to a rapid decline in what was once a very enjoyable
relationship. To prevent this from happening, it may be worth your while to go against your
inclination of keeping to yourself and instead share your feelings with your partner. By
compromising somewhat, you will potentially create a connection that has an increased level of
flexibility and that will have more power to withstand the inevitable twists and turns of any
relationship. But remember that it takes two people to make these changes, so your partner also
has to be willing to meet in the middle.
[ YES... ANYONE TAKES NOTES HERE? ppl who wanan impress me, plx takes notes hahaha..
kidding... but it's true that i feel sad, coz ... i even dont know how to express my feelings, but
someone who design this test can!!! what a sad thing huh? i think i gotta know myself more. ]

Now that you have some actionable information for how to avoid the potential pitfalls of your
relationship style, let's take a look at how committed you are to finding true love.


Your Desire for Commitment


In the Ideal Relationship test, we asked about your interest in long-term love and your
willingness to commit in general. From your answers, Tickle has generated your commitment
level score. This is based on your ideas about long-term relationships, ever-lasting love,
and how focused on finding a partner you personally think you are.

On a scale from 1 to 10, you scored 7.
Points: 7
As you could probably guess, there really is no right or wrong answer to what constitutes the
perfect level of commitment. What matters most is what feels best for you at this moment and
that you are clear with yourself about what you want before you throw your efforts into a
relationship. [True...]

No matter the level of commitment you desire, it is usually best to communicate what you want
upfront. However, this is easier-said-than-done, because most of the time people don't have the
benefit of knowing where they really fall on the commitment spectrum until it becomes clear later
on in a relationship.

You may think that you have no interest in a serious relationship — and then one day you meet
that spectacular someone. Or the reverse may occur and you may suddenly realize that you really
don't want a relationship after all. Fear is one huge obstacle to a commitment, whether it's
something a person realizes they have or not, and it can derail what could be an ideal relationship.
Given that commitment desires are hard to pinpoint, even in yourself, it's a good idea to at least try
to align goals for the relationship and to get straight with your partner on your general feelings about
love. [ yup, committment is not bad... have you heard about The Triangle of Love Theory?
you see? i'm a good student! haha just kidding. Passion, Intamacy and Committment, those three
elements are the basic sectors of love. so, now you get it? committment is very important. too early
for committment is a kind of ... blindness. too late for committment is .. too late lor. so... yea.
Fearness for me is an absolutely damage. coz of fear, i am always confused. but might be kindd
good for me, or that's just coz of culture. hk girls more or less are quite picky in relationship. dont
ask me why... i'm not that typical in hk. my point is... fearness is a point for me. ]

Relationships that Work
What works in a relationship can vary greatly from one couple to the next. After all, each individual
has unique needs so there couldn't possibly be one secret formula for creating a perfect relationship
for everyone. However, research does show that there are patterns that tend to lead more often
to mutually satisfying, pleasurable and steady relationships.

You can look at your ideal relationship qualities as examined in this report and compare them to the
qualities that have been shown to be characteristic of relationships that work. Based on this
comparison you can decide whether the ideal relationship in your head is the one you want to keep
for all time, or whether you'd like to bend it a bit to match more of what has been shown to work for
others. Granted, what works for others might not work for you, so in the end, you may to need to
simply listen to your gut and follow your heart.

10 ways to make your relationship more successful:

Make sure you want to be in a relationship and that the person you are with is right for you.
[i'm doing this]

Give your partner the benefit of the doubt — assume that they are trying their best to make you
happy and are acting with your best interests in mind.
[yup, i've tried, but always fail, coz too much that i couldnt predict before or i've never thought of.]

Be a little flexible in terms of how much closeness and togetherness you need. [ trying]

Learn how to communicate in ways that will promote your relationship and build closeness and
understanding between you. For example, show respect, not criticism.
[ yes, i'm changing my speaking attitudes and practicing to be an active listener(learnt from class).
i 'm also trying hard to be more understanding and thoughtful. but dont know if he saw that.
seems not seeing me of that points huh..]

Learn how to love yourself and how to be in touch with your own emotions —
don't deny or suppress what you may be feeling or thinking.
[ yes, that's why i need my own space, too. ]

Find ways to keep the passion in your relationship alive.
[ huh? how? i would do it pretty well, when it's allowed by the environment. ]

Learn to tolerate adversity and stress. [ doing fine.. ]

Experience life together as an adventure. [ shall we? ]

Accept each other's idiosyncrasies when it comes to sex — working it out can only maximize
pleasure. [ hee. ]

Take time out of each day to grow your relationship together.
[sigh.. that's why i say... understanding is understanding, acceptance is acceptance. the
situation is also the situation. not that i understand the problems or not, i really understand so
i gotta accept. but the point is... the situation that's the situation, means yo cant change much
and you cant expectanything anymore, you know? ppl dont say or cant say that by mouth,
coz it's really even hard for oneself to understand. how to say that out so directly to your mate?
it's really silly. but you gotta do that to show you're also brave to face the situation and willing to
discuss with your mate. finding the better way to go, by two of you, not just sitting here. ok? ]


History Behind the Test


The content for this test was generated from a combination of sources — several books describing
relationship patterns, what makes a relationship work, what relationship styles have already been
determined, what relationship dimensions have been identified. We used all of this information to
create this test, along with Tickle's in-house psychological and statistical expertise. We based a lot
of the structure for the content on "Relationship Dynamics" (Musgrave & Anniss, 1996). Some of
the content was also based on this reference. This structure and content was then modified to be
directly applicable to romantic relationships and cannot be applied to general relationship dynamics.
By combining this science with that which can be found in the texts below, we constructed our
own definitions of dimensions and relationship styles, which we then validated empirically
(by looking at users' responses to the test) in order to generate accurate, reliable reports.

Resources


Musgrave, James and Anniss, Michael. (1996). Relationship Dynamics. The Free Press. New York, New York.

O'Neal, Janet (1998). Cracking the Love Code. Broadway Books. New York, New York.

Page, Susan (1994). The 8 Essential Traits of Couples Who Thrive. Dell Publishing. New York, New York.

Page, Susan (1997). How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together. Broadway Books. New York, New York.


April 14, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

>>April 15, 2006 at 8:05:17 AM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 13 日 星期四 【晴】

sigh

today woke up then went out.
meeting aunt with my family, we had dim sum outside =)
then we hang around Tsim Sha Tsui...
back home..

hummmmmmmmmm
still dont feel fine with my body.... sick..
and... not feel like to eat either.

hum... my brain cant rest... coz... i keep thinking on that.
i dont know,.... cant tell what i want to do or what i should do.
dudes, you know how much i love him,
you know how much i can tell about our relationship...
you know how confused i am.
i still love him, but i'm very tired of us... really want to firgue out... what i should do.
sounds like i keep suspecting alot... seems like i ask for too many stuffs..
i feel like i really didnt understand him... when he told me what he thought...
i was very upset, my heart was like bleeding. coz i couldnt see anything,
i was so selfish... but now i'm really tired. i dontk now how many bad stuffs would still come
along, how many years we should wait for, how we could get through all, how would marriage
like in us. if all the things real or not..... i'm feeling really bad.
when you love someone, you definetely dont want to see him suffer in life.
i cant see him sufferring by himself, but i can do nothing.
he kept all behind coz he doesnt want me to be worried. i dont know what i should do.
i dont think i could just leave him, i think i still love him.
facing the future, i really dont know what to do. i really dont find happy in our relationship.
i love him so much, why i dont feel happy? i should be happy coz i have him in my heart.
he loves me and i love him... we love each others... but why we become like now?
i'm really like a kid now... wanna ask for an ice-cream... except crying dont know what to do.

***

Thanks for Henry and Leo...
i really dont know what to do..

Jesus,... congrad to you...
and you teach me... love is giving... how about if i cant give?
he cant give anything, but i'm in his heart.
i can give alot, but i'm so tired to give, and i got no key to get through him.
so.... is it the thing you want me/us to get through ? i'm gonna fail in it..
what should i do ?

***

>>April 14, 2006 at 2:21:08 PM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 13 日 星期四 【晴】

wow...

last night couldnt really sleep... dont ask me why.
then today woke up like 6 am, and started working at 8 30 am till 3 pm.
the working s ok, not so busy, and... yea... my brain has been busy, so...
that make my work not too boring... anyway... i.. cant stop thinking of" that and the ppl".
you wanna hear me crying or see my damn sad face? i dont wanna show ya.

after that i attended to class, Group Dynamics again! what an excenllent class!
i also had the nice chat on phone with my friends before class started.
we did lots of class activities and watching a movie. the movie is called " 12 Angry Men"
very very nice example, the modling of group dynamics. great.
it 's the black and white movie, but does tell us lots of good examples.
pretty long movie, all about the one case. anyway... good.
if you're not in the class, you've missed such good examples!

anyway, after class, then take MTR ( not MRT anymore), haha to Tsim Sha Tsui to find dad.
i went to his office... wait for him, then we had dinner together, and drove to the air-port.
we picked up Aunt Pricilla. hahah!!! so nice!!!
*** SHE BOUGHT ME TIM HORTON'S TIMBITS AND DONUTS AND BAGLES!!!!!! ***
*.* SOOOOOOO NICE!~~~~~ I REALLY MISS THOSE JUNK FOOD MAN! HAHAHA
then... drove her to her friend's home and ate something with her.
hummm we're home like 12 40 am? i guess.. heehee..
i've tasted the timbits and donuts ahhhhh`~~@@ so great !!! i really love them man !!! ^^
and i'm so happy to see her agin ^^~
and tomorrow will go out with her =P

okay... here i have a thank list... ( who comes first, who's the last... all doesnt matter =) )
Leo, Ade, Hernry, LeeWai, Aug, Miki(my sister), Shan(Agnes), Vicvic, etc.
to anyone who already known what happened already..

i dont have anything to say, except... thankyou.
i dont know any more answers. my brain is so blank, my heart is so pain.
i have not any decisions, cant make, i have no ideas what to do, what not to do.
i need a break, and that's just all i'm asking for.
during this period... i think i'm seeking for a voice, from Jesus, to tell me what i should do.
coz basicly, i cant make any decisions for myself anymore. and i'm too tired..
whatever i do, i would just hurt someone. and for myself, what's important for me?

ahhhh i'm very headache.. and i'm not feeling well in these days...
always stomachache also... very bad...
and yea, i dont really eat, no mood to eat. and also dont feel like to eat.

and, i wanna say...
i dont always show ppl my sad face. if you see my sad face, that means...
1) you might be a very close frined of mine =) what the unlucky thing huh~
2) you're really lucky, and you would be my close friend pretty soon.
3) at that moment i really need you.

i dont wanan write down what have i done lately, coz...
the more i write about this, the more i feel upset, guilty, worried, confused, tired, etc.
and i feel like to cry over again and again.
the last point, i dont wanna get anyone involved anymore.
***

>>April 13, 2006 at 6:37:05 PM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 11 日 星期二 【晴】

There's nothing happy to share with you guys today.
actually now is 13rd already le... now is... 12 28am.

P.S.
happy birthday to mom for today,
happy birthday to Chris for yesterday.

hummm one more thing...
i was happy in class, and i've done my seft-assessment report.

here you go...

Self-Assessment Paper

After completing the self-assessment on p.132-133, I feel happy that I have been a good group
member. Ten questions are about: communication, my feedback, feedback (ask for others),
receiving skills and contribution.

Referring to the first two questions, I try my best in communication. For example, my last group
experience, although I was a group member, when I had anything not sure in the discussion,
I always threw out the questions immediately. I think the high level of understanding is very
essential in an effective group work.

Based on that, I do focus on the communication within the group. One thing that just happened
in last term, I had a really bad time in a traditional group work. However that’s the best evidence
supporting this report.

My MS Office was locked out, before a week of the due date for a research paper. I should and
I had let my group mates known everything immediately. At the same day, after mid night, dad
drove over to HK Island from Tai Po to borrow a laptop for me. But then, I still couldn’t work
with it.

The other day, just after my computer was fixed, I back to school, and I was confronted by
my group mate, while I just sat down. My group mate was very angry that I couldn’t hang
in anything to them. She thought I was loafing. I was pretty angry and upset, because she did
not really understand. It was a quite heat argument in class, in front of so many classmates
and teacher. I kept repeating I’ve tried my best, but this kind of explains became the excuses.
Communication was blocked.

Afterward, I quit the class and back home doing all my parts, immediately. Then, I e-mailed them,
telling them what I felt, and the fact that I walked my promise; I got everything done in time.
After the presentation, I bought group mates chocolate. I do that, because I appreciate their
efforts, but I also hope them to understand that I have done nothing wrong at that situation.
Referring to the question three to six, I do my best in communication and feedback, and I also
appreciate feedback from others.

Further more, in the end of every group discussions, I would say if there are any questions or
problems, please let me know as soon as possible. I do not usually ask what they feel of me,
but if they do say, I would really appreciate that. I would like to hear what they want me to do
or we talk and fix the problem together, rather than me guessing what to do.

Receiving skills and contribution are very essential in group work. Referring to the question
seven to ten, I always observe and listen to everyone saying, and make sure they are in the
group, by verbal questions, eye contact or body language. Sometimes,
“uh huh”, “yes”, “okay”, these words, or nodding the head could tell that they agree.
Even though I am just a group member, I would still do the same thing. I think the group needs
everyone’s efforts, not just one person or the chairperson should do. Therefore, I would say
my self-assessment report is very positive, and the result shows that I am a good group member.

(Word count: 547)

***
END

***
dont ask me what happened lately...
i dont know what to tell you.

tomorrow go work, have class, then go pick up aunt from the airport.
***

>>April 12, 2006 at 4:37:32 PM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 10 日 星期一 【晴】

I dont wanna let you know what have happened today.

come back later..

>>April 11, 2006 at 3:29:17 PM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 9 日 星期日 【晴】

Sigh...

today... wake up early then went to work.
sigh......... so boring work.... i think i didnt talk for more than 10 sentences,
from 8 30 - 3 pm.
anyway.... coz i just work for 6.5 hrs, then they count my rest tim as non-paid hr.
what the fu*k..

anyway... i went to school for my Group Dynamics class.
i was very tired... then yea... okay... got some class activities haha.. okay.
my report due to Thursday.
i guess i would work it tomorrow and the day after. Today is Mon already.

hummmm after class, went to aunt's home for bath, then ate out with family just now.
sigh..... still no water supply. you know what... manager said it need at least a few days
to fix... that means... we would not have water for the coming few days.. sigh..

hummmm last night, chatting with Aug... very nice chat.
then today at work... i've chated with Aunt Pricilla... hummm and also my net friend.

***

>>April 10, 2006 at 1:47:40 PM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 9 日 星期日 【晴】

Sigh.... have been very tired and quite stressed up..

today, got the meeting at 4 pm.
i bring my sister, Miki along... we ate out for lunch, shared one dish..
then we went to Festival Walk, coz still have time..
i went to Esprit bought something... then... time to go..

i attend to the meeting... what a messy place.
at Regal Hotel today.. hummmm... too crowed.. and too messy..
anyway i was there line up for 2 hrs... some ppl just interrup the line.
what the hell, i was very angry at the end, coz... for 2 hrs.. i keep standing..
then some students apepar at the desk, but i'd never seen them in line before.
i yell out, confront them there, " why you guys can just standing up there? i've been in line for 2 hrs,
before the meeting start and till now. do you think that's fair for us? "
not only me... many students complain..

anyway... the meeting doesnt tell as much as ppl want.
but it's still better than nothing. i'm still tahinking of which way i should go.
after that... Miki and me went back to Sha Tin...
and i bought jeans and one tan at WeekendWorkshop.
so, today, i bought 3 pieces heehee... nice... i spent... around $500 HKD.
we ate something at McDonald's... then walk around and back home..

have been chating with LeeWai and Aug.. about school stuffs..
Me and Aug have been also chating for other things.

tomorrow gotta work at 8 30..
have class at 3 45.

anyway..
tonight... home got no water.. why? accident around our place. haha.

do i miss my darling? yes... but... does he? hummmm hope so..
***

>>April 9, 2006 at 4:38:57 PM GMT+8