2006 年 5 月 8 日 星期一 【晴】

Today, i ve class, from 12 30 to 3 30 pm.

hummmm outside was soooo hot.... sigh... i wear skirt and tang, then mom and dad dont like..
they think i wear too sexy and it's not good. for me, i just want to feel comfortable and want to
look nice. comfortable comes first then good looking. so... whatever you say, it doesnt mean that
would suit me, right... i appreciate your concerns, but i'm not the kid now.
i melt in summer hk, you know?

anyway,
i slept for 8 hrs last night, coz i got headache... okay...
i got the sweet call, ha... eventually he called me today morning =) it's nice...
hee, very sweet calling.

okay... in class,...
Mr. Chan borrowed my book lor... and then... i couldnt take notes on my own book haha..
i hate the "bookless" students. i hate that, really. at least you ve the coppy book what.
you ve noting then come to class, ask ppl share with you. what the hell student you are.
you dont buy the book, okay... you want me to borrow you for coppy..
i'm not happy but it's fine. coz you need the copy though. the point is... you ve nothing.
okay la, Mr.Chan takes note on my book i guess?
hummmm i ve to jot my notes on paper first then yea... tonigt i will review the chapter.
it's kindda good hahaha coz forcing me to review hahaha..

" you can't change your human nature. "
Robert Mcnanmana

we talk about Gender and Employment... hummm bias is.... bias.
you couldnt change your human nature.
we discuss on the cases in the states and hk. hummmm i understand what the fact is..
and then i'm not sure what's absolutely right or wrong. i think that's just abt your own perspective.
i think somehing is nice something is bad. there're always conflicts. no exact ans actually.
if i protect you from this, i might take others' rights. so complicated.
i think we should respect the human nature and also the history, culture and background.
so, i couldnt agree with what Mr.Chan said... i would like to have my own point.
even though i'm the woman, i couldnt deny that there're always something more suitable for men,
and that causes the discrimilation.
but it doesnt mean that i agree with most of the stereotype at the work place.
Every person is very unquie. i think the hiring manager should be careful on the certian issues,
and the workers should do the right jobs, be valuable.

about Sexual Harassment.... hummm women and men could do the same what...
be honest, be fiar... i think that's true. and i wont stand the harassment.
if i were the victim, i would have asked the person to stay off or keep distance with me imediately,
i would say... would you please stay off a bit, coz you make me uncomfortable, thankyou.
if that's not my workmate, then i might just... being passive... but if i really feel uncomfortable, then
i would say, excuses me, you've made me uncomfortable, if you dont stay off, i would yell out.
i think... i should be ware of this kind of things lor... coz... i take train or mtr almost everyday.
in the prime hour, ... in the train and mtr re always crowd... so... yea... should remember the
sentance by hard. then if i really need to use, hahaha i wont be so affraid.

anyway,....
after class, my groupmates and me went to have tea, hahaha... too hungry~
hummm we ate and chat chat chat.. hahaha... we talk abt men and women..
we talks abt ourselves and talk about relationship stuffs ha.....
so lovely talk, thanks for my girls ;)

thanks for my someone, coz of him, i feel beautiful =)

Benny appears today... hummmmmmmmmmmm
i m worried, i m affraid.


okay!
i have aroud 9 days to make the presentation.
and i have 2 weeks for prepare for my final exam.
cas, nope...little baby cas, work hard !!!! make yourself proud !!
( heehee, little baby cas~~~ *^^* )
***


Part 2,
now is 11 52 pm..

ave been resting and thinking of my project the whole night.
nothing coming up... hummmm okay, i will do the review first then.
i read the notes and check the book... really dont know how to start up.
do i need to do the research first about the theory stuffs or just use those two ?
9 days... damn... you see, cas you're just stressed...

and then... relaxing myself... then reading some profile..
fuck.. i feel so shit.. sigh... i better dont know anything, right..
easy, easy, easy cas...

***


part 3,

now is 12 15am...
still ve no ideas on my project... so sucks... i wonder how to make it tonight.
sigh... whole night thinking of it... but sucks... ok.. tomorrow i ve to work... from 1 to 9 pm.
hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! how to START UP !!?!?!?!!!! hai ya~~!!!

just now saw dear someone on line... he's unhappy.
ahhhhhhhhhhh >.< !!!
okay... i should reply anyway.. i'm sorry.
***

>>May 9, 2006 at 4:22:35 PM GMT+8

2006 年 5 月 7 日 星期日 【晴】

Today,

working...
before working, went to bank and have breakfast with mom.
then go working lor.

very bored again hahaha... coz... Mr. Chow didnt leave me memo, so i didnt know what to do.
i've called him but no replies from him then... he called back after 15 or 20 mins.
then you guys guess what i do in those 20 mins? aiyo~~~

anyway,... i m doing fine la, then he called me right? then i do my stuffs till he's back..
quite free actually, then since he's back... then not really free...
hummm students(kids) hahah come, then ve to arrange their classes and notes..
and then... i got some administration work to do.. not bad =)

okay... before leaving home, i ve soya, then 11 15 am i ate two small pieces of fried fish...
then at night ard 8 pm, i ve the tunna bun.... i was quite hungry !!!
arrived home like 10 pm... and eatting ham and ve veg soup. great.

miss my someone, where's he?
i got one sms from him today in te morning... then no replies for my sms to him.. then..
yea i mesg him again but no replies... is he alright or not?
hum~ wish him well.......... hope he's fine, coz exam is really soon and... he stressed up himself.
then... dont know how to say.. i do understand, coz i'm also the student ve lots of things to review..
my exam is coming so soon also... sigh... die die..die...
miss him lots.... if you read my words here, could you mesg me?


i'm damn tired today..
hummm feel dazed.... zzzzzz
***

>>May 8, 2006 at 3:02:32 PM GMT+8

2006 年 5 月 6 日 星期六 【晴】

wah~

today is long leh...
i was so tired last night.. but i ve to woke up ard 9 am.. coz meet aunt Pricilla at 11.
but... when i got there, aunt is late again.... okay...
we go Mcdonald's. hahaha... i want nuggles, she wants filet' o fish.
alright, then i give her the clothes i brought for her, and then... we go shopping for her son.
i dont really know what Terrance would like.... but... yea i guess his style is just so "hk",
but he said he doesnt like, hahaha... okay.... we didnt really buy what for Terrance.
then aunt wanna walk ard... and i was with her the whole day.
she shops for shoses.. and we walk in almost every shops hahaha... aiya~
actually i was so tired and my feets hurt. coz of my shoses...
but okay la, coz... yea... i dont mind. she's happy =)
we have juice at Best Berry, remember that time i was there with Shan???
the coffee was so bad, but the juice today is so nice, fresh !
yea need to sit, coz i'm old le hahaha. after 45 mins i guess? then we went to CitySupper.
and i found that small tart shells !!! but hell, that's really expensive !!! $50 for 15 shells ? i didnt buy.
then we went back Tai Po from Sha tin ard... 4 pm.
but we went to Tai Po market... and finally bought the shoses for Terrance. hummmmm
classical dark color boot shape coverse all star. hahahahaha... why so classic ???
no one really buy leh... so it's hrd to find... and we got it =)

okay, then we wak ard.. and i take mini bus with her...
i ve to go to church first, so... i gett off the bus first. but i called mom to pick her up at our
bus stop. yea... go meeting my SOMA friends in church.... great..
hahaha... we discuss abt next time we out going to some's home and have party !!!
i would prepare chicken wings ;) heehee.... they say they dont wanna go out...
so actually what out going is it? hahaha... we just change the gathering place only.
anywya, i know PKY has some sad sad thing la~ hummm wish him would get over soon =)
coz PKY is the very nice guy! so... dont worry =)
*funny PKY, i siad... i'm sorry then i hit his arm..(coz i couldnt hug him right, though i used to hug
and i like to give hug, but here is hk, and i think he dont use to it) anyway, i hit him, then he said
you're welcome then we laugh ! hahahaha so funny! why? why you say welcome?
he repeated hahaha.. silly PKY. go talk to Tung or Water, they're your best friends what?

sad that finally i didnt go KTV... sigh... i feel so bad... coz Yedda, the bday girl called me
three times today just asking me to go, and also other frineds called me to go..
so for this party, i got at least 5 calls ... i feel a bit guilty coz i couldnt go =( i'm sorry Yedda.
my aunt is leaving soon... and... she's also my close friend... so ...
i m not very interested in ktv.. somehow i really wanna celebrate with you and...
i really wanna come coz you're my friend... but... yea so bad...
i'm not very comfortable with lots of ppl in ktv... you know... i dont really get used to this kind of
big party.. too big group in ktv. i dont like this kind of fun.. a few hrs singing and singing...
and it's like you sing other ppl listen... what to do with the ppl only listen?
i guess ppl cnt really enjoy lots? hummmmm i'm not too sociable... so... ktv i seldom go with
friends. i would only go with close friends. maybe that's why finally i didnt go join today.
bad, i'm sorry. but i would hang out with you another day! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEDDA!!! =)
or we go ktv another day, only me and you ;)

i just come back home ard 10 50 pm...
wah i was outside for 12 hrs +++... so long....
yea ate out tonight with my family and aunt Pricilla.. hahaha...
then i walked her to the bus stop and back home... so tired and so hurt with my feet..
hummm okay... heehee... i know i would miss my aunt soooo much !!
we just talk talk and talk... very verbal animal. but she's the business woman type.
smart and nice. aiya, we just talk abt everything. she watches me growing.
she even knows everything abt me, including my school my relationship stuffs..
yup she knows abt Benny and the someone. hahaha... and i know abt her stuffs and friends.
sigh... i'm so old le, always dealing with aunts and uncles hahahaha... =P kidding.
but yea.. i'm werid huh? always be friend with aunts and uncles haha..

thanks for my dear someone... coz.. hahaha... i love his calling *^^* and sms.
u know... that's so sweet to ve the morning call, and you know someone cares you.
but i wonder how he calls me usually? just press some number or ve to type the code 1st?
coz he called accidently...
and i'd never done that. coz i ve to dial the code numbr and the tel number. so.. i wonder why =P
i'm curious. anyway, thanks =) and... why... leaving the com on line?
okay...
he called me just now, hahaha... so sweet..
we talk la... then... haha... dad and mom... they're MINE, not yours.
monther day is coming... hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i wanan buy mom the best hot chocolate =P
heehee... coz mom like that, and i just wanna buy mom the very nice hot chocolate ^^

tomorrow have to work, from 1 pm to 9 pm.
hummmm i m happy =)

***
you know... i'm not so demanding, i m not asking for much.
i'm easy to feel glad and satisfied, but i dont know why i couldnt find, with you.
somehow ppl say i'm stupid, but i wonder why to be complicated.
i dont like fake, i dont like hate, i dont like cheating or lying.
so... if i tell you that's all true abt me, would you just come and be honest with me too?
would you just be sincere and.... cherrish me... can ?
i'm not talking to anyone, except the one should understand. but i think he's not here.
and what i say is no points for him, never.
***

>>May 7, 2006 at 4:18:19 PM GMT+8

2006 年 5 月 5 日 星期五 【晴】

Today, i ve work from 10 am to 4 pm.
but then i left at 4 30.

anyway... i over slept... i guess coz i'm too tired last night...

alright... i had soya with me on my way to work.
i was opening the box just dwon stair my home... but i spilit it... shit..

alright, i ve been working... not bad. i'm dine fine, hoho~
and then... i got a mistake today,.... the first time i really feel like the mistake..
i forgot to put the card under the reciept book, while i was writting the reciept for the students.
so... eventually... i ve to... learn how to vold the reciepts. hahahaha...
anyway, i'd never expected that i could have the lunch time !!!
and i'd never never never expected that i could have the free lunch *.* haha ~~~
i'm so happy~ coz ... yea... happy =P
and finally i've seen all the teachers there... some re quite nice, some re okok... =) nice.
i think... the Econ teacher is the nicest one =) hee, just from the first impression.
and then i saw Rami, hahah... man... next time i would remember to order coffee for you.

alright... hummmm doing some note coppy, renewal some files, and dealing with some
school fees doc and reciepts.. then... nothing? oh yea... buying coffee haha..
taking care of the kids.. =) nice.

okay...
back home, resting... super hot outside... 31 c when i go out today morning.
so hot... then i just wear the tan with jean-shorts today... i dont see other ppl like me,
so i was a bit barassed... just a bit. cozi htink i'm just normal. i wonder why some ppl could
still wear long sleves or jacket... i would be sick..

okay... hummmmmm..... yea..
back home, resting, watching tv with my sisters, then... i saw Alesja on line!!!
wah... we chated on MSN, using webcam... from... 5 pm to 9 40 pm !!!
hahahaha =D just so mad !!! i mean like... we're... very close friend actually..
then long time no see, and everytime chat on msn then could chat for so long..
just... dont know how to say. she's my best buddy in Vanouver. then of course Ade, Cyn and Vic,
they're all my best friends there. how much i miss Alesja? hummmmm...
she's so sweet ... hummmm i odnt know.. i just feel like... we could actually stay with each otehrs
for life long. she's really my very nice friend.. anywya, we chated for so long..
she told me her life there in Germany, and.. she wanna come over hk or.. go to the States or Canada
to start her business,... but there're lots of conflicts and troubles with here there..
we're sovlving problems together .. and then we chat for stupid stuffs, hahaha..
we joke, kid ard.. hahahahaha... so lovely... we miss the life in Van, we miss each others.
hummmmmmmmmmmm

then i got some calls today..
twice from Yedda, twice or three times from aunt, from my sweet someone=),
one form E-man, oh my... i skip the church gathering again, so bad=(
but tomorrow... i would have to meet my aunt, and then i might have to attend to Yedda's birthday
party at KTV. hummm then i ve to go church, SOMA gathering!!!! haha

anyway..
thanks for the sweet call *thanks ;)
and then... i saw Benny on line today... he didnt recieve my sms.. and i didnt recieve his sms also..
what happened? how come he couldnt get my sms and why i couldnt get his sms?
i did sms him.. and he said he did sms me... sigh... i dont know..

okay, Benny and dear someone also asked me that why my nick name is...
Laissez-faire *我恨我不是她
Laissez faire = dont care abt the process and be free of stress, but look at the outcome.
that's the term i got form my group dynamic class. i think that's my style, my leadership
style. i think everyone has his skills or thinking, that's why we come together working as a group.
coz we want dynmaics hahaha... and then coming up better solution or better products.
hummm so i respect everyone, the diff of us.. and then i dont care abt how the process is,
everyone does his/her parts, i dont care how you do, i give you my whole support, total freedom,
but i want the outcome. that's my style. i want the best result form my members, and then
we combine work and discuss and we come up the best of the best.
i want ppl who is interdependant, who could work very well done by himself confidently.
yea... i'm sure that i'm the ... very difficult leader. but whoever really follow me, we would succedd.
Laissez faire is my living attitude also... which means... for work, study or relationship..
i'm this kind of ppl... i would like more freedom, and i would give my mate lots of freedom also.
hummm i focus on the process with the "happy", "free", "comfortable" feelings, possitive feelings
in the process that's really important for me. day after day, i find that's still so real to me.
i used to not enjoy in relationship.. so... that was sad... and now.. i havent really broken it..
i'm giving myself excuses i know.. but i really dont wanna handle this kind of stuffs right now..
too tired abt relationship stuffs... dont wanna have any decision right now, coz... so confusing..

我恨我不是她 ... means... hummm dont wanna say much here actually.. but... i disscuss it with
Alesja just now.. hummmmmmmm yea... i dont know why, and i would never know.
i'm not her, that "her" could reffer to any her. that's my answer.
i love myself, i like myself... but somehow... why i'm not her.. why i'm not..
i hate that i couldnt be her.. just coz of that.. i suffer in.... like...
why i'm not in there, why i m here, but the relationship still happens on me.
it's so unfiar to the ppl, to me....

okay... end of the topic...
there's nothing i could blame, no one i would blame of... coz..
i'm just happy that the cas now is the one you know... you feel comfortable with.
my history is not special to you, but it's even more expensive than the diamond for me.

i've read the book, and it says... the most important thing, the greatest thing in life is..
you learn how to give the love and accept the love. dont hide up... stand up and to give.
i.... argree...
pp nowadays would like to recieve... very conditioning base...
if you treat me well, then i might treat you well. if you ve nothing, dont come to talk to me.
well well well... when you're brave to stand, against,... eveil would come to challenge you.
that's my feelings and my experience.
i treat ppl not based on... anything, except onething.. that's my feel. i feel like to treat ppl well,
whoever you are. hummmm i think that's more real and more comfortable..but... ppl is not.
or i vent really pay attention on the ppl ard ? sigh. i dont know... i observe, i look and think..
i listen i think... i watch, i study... i found that... i'm getting old and thar coz my heart is getting old.
you tell me what to do living in hk... ppl is so cold that's what i feel. so bad.
but =) i would be fine, hee...

** if you mean to treat someone good, plx matian it. if you like someone, like him or her forever.
if you love someone, fall for him or her totally with your total heart. never tured back.
one side love could really destory the relationship. be brave to love, be brave to give.
dont tak anyone for granted(even though you would still do, while you dont mean to).
strange fo me to say like this..... i'm afraid, really affraid, but i'm writting this kind of thing..
ha...
*night night.

anyway, this is the song of today =P
again, dont ease your soul ~
Ashlee Simpson – Boyfriend

Whatcha been doin'? Whatcha been doin?
Whoa, Whoa,
haven't seen u around

How you been feelin'? How you been feelin'?
Whoa, whoa,
Don't u you bring me down,

All that stuff about me,
Being with him,
Can't believe,
All the lies that you told,
Just to ease your own soul,
But I'm bigger than that,
No, you don't have my back,
No, No,


Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till your face what's goin' on,
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend

Well I'm sorry that he called me
and that I answered the telephone ,
don't be worried I'm not with him
and when i go out tonight I'm goin' home alone
just got back from my tour I'm a mess girl for sure
all I want is some fun guess that I'd better run
Hollywood sucks you in but it won't spit me out

Whoa, whoa,

Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's goin' on,
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend
Hey, how long till u look at your own life instead of looking into mine
I didn't steal your boyfriend
hey how long till you're leavin' me alone don't u got somewhere to go
I didn't steal your boyfriend
Whoa Whoa whoa ha whoa whoa whoa ha



Please stop telling all your friends,
I'm getting sick of them,
Always staring at me like I took him from ya'


Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's goin' on,
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend
Hey, how long till u look at your own life instead of looking into mine
I didn't steal your boyfriend
hey how long till you're leavin' me alone don't u got somewhere to go
I didn't steal your boyfriend

Whoa Whoa whoa ha whoa i didn't steal your boyfriend
Whoa Whoa whoa ha whoa i didn't steal your boyfriend

***

>>May 6, 2006 at 2:56:45 PM GMT+8

2006 年 5 月 4 日 星期四 【晴】

Today, heehee morning, i got the sweet call =)

hummm then woke up, wash up hang out..
i went to Sha Tin with Miki, my sister, to take back my jeans from WeekendWorkshop.
they told me my jeans-skirt cant be fixed... hummm ok it's fine..

then we went to McDonald's to have lunch...
then we went to Causeway Bay to meet Aunt Kitty and my cousin, Sheila.
hummmmm i have to help my another aunt, Pricilla, which's going back to Van very soon, to buy
something in Esprit... so... yea.. then we stayed in Esprit for quite long...
okay.... my stuffs, Pricilla's and Miki's... all together... cost... ard $ 3000.
after discount, ard $ 1500. dont ask me for discount plx... it's not my ability, it's my aunt ;)
i could give you special discount with my VIP card... only 10% off (any items any time).
if you want, can give me a call anytime =) or... i will have the voucher/ coupon in June.
coz of my birthday, Esprit would send me some discount coupon or voucher. contact me.

anyway,... then... Miki and me went to Ma On Shan... to Gonggong's home..
mom said 2 weeks or 3 weeks havent seen gonggong.. then gongong was sick..
so mom cooked, and we all eat =) hee.
my two aunts re doing fine there... but i saw them.. i found that they're both getting old..
hummm they didnt get marry and their phy is getting bad...
so... yea we should go visit them more often.... and they're the very nice people actually.
i do like them =)

okay... i was asleep on sofa while i was reading a book from my sister, Leggy.
wah... so sleepy... i htink i m too tired.. yea... alright...
when i was sleeping, i got two or three calls? oh my... i ve forgoten my friend's bday..
on sunday... she invites me to go KTV... aiya, i ve forgotten ive promised her..
then now... i dont really wanan go, coz i'm so tired and i wanan rest.. or let say,
i would have something to do on Sun actually. so... conflict is here.

anyway... i got the sms hee... wishing him success ! and Benny also..
just wishing that he's doing fine..
and i'm still thinking of... how to deal with the parcel.. and after that, how to ..... get out from the
mess, as in.... uncle Simon is angry at me.. and the relationship b/w me and Benny ...
ON GOING:
humm my PCC job, abt resign... and yea.. i ve the presentation on 19th, damn... pretty soon,
but no one really contribute, i wonder starting it by myself first, then just ask them to follow?
i would talk iwth them on Tue class.... then... i ve got the new work, doing fine... and then..
i ve to apply for my offical transcript fom USU... sigh.. and then exam on 24th, hummm
as i could remember, that's all not the begining... and i should ve more to do, but just couldnt
remember all by now. sigh... oh yea, i should go to the hotels for my someone..
and then... i m thinking to buy something for aunt Pricilla and her son, Terrance. oh yea, i ve to go
to bank... yes i just have lots mroe to do... but i couldnt remember now.
but firstly, i would focus on my presentation and exam, and the parcel first.
but i hve to work also, hummm i think i'm doing quite good at the office.. it's nice.

alright..
happy thing of today =) heehee
i ve one new skirt, 2 pieces of tan top, and a new bag. haha~
but i need the sandle.. so... i still keep looking for the nice one. not too expensive but look alright
for me. coz i dont want too old and dont want too expensive.
and the most happy thing is... ^^ i got the sweet call and sms hee.
and then i could see see my cousin(also my close frined), Sheila, and aunt Kitty,
also see see my gongong(which is the best gonggong ^^), and see see my aunts~
so... i'm happy today =D

night night cas..

***

>>May 5, 2006 at 4:30:13 PM GMT+8

2006 年 5 月 3 日 星期三 【晴】

Today haha..

i went to Festival Walk, eating lunch at the foodcourt...
very lonely...
anyway, i had the Laksa Noodle!!!! very very hot, spicy... but doesnt taste so well...
still fine la =)

i have worked today.
hummm ok ok.... not too busy.... handeling the note coppies,
then some data renewal... checking stuffs, correcting stuffs =)
hummmmmm ok...

last night, i got the very long sms hahaha... thanks*
and then... during my work, i got sweet call haha... thanks thanks~

tell me what i should do..... can ?
***

>>May 4, 2006 at 3:01:31 PM GMT+8

2006 年 5 月 2 日 星期二 【晴】

Today is my first day...
hummm

i woke up so early, didnt sleep much last night.
just couldnt sleep.

i woke up,then... eat out at a chionese cafe, b/w my home and the KCR station.
hummmmm very very strange...
the waitor is very very poliet to me, that make me super supprised...
then... i seat down, and he was so gentelment... he showed me every menul...
wah... i just wanna say... " let me read through them first, plx"
then... he's like introducing me every meals... ask me... if you want it, want that..
then i was thinking like... man... you're not my boyfriend, why so thoughtful to me?
i just feel strange... i kept saying "oh okay, thx.. let me see..." and i keep smiling and nodding head.
then.... finally i ordered the rice with chop and sussage, with the black pepper sauce.
then... when i was eating... he approach me again..
first time: is that nice? good ? he smiles to me... just come very close to me.. like"wishper"
second time: eat sowly... hummm do you want more sauce ? i could add more for you..
third time: oh... you've finished? eat so less, eat more ?, i say " no, i'm very full already, thx"
oh... okay... then he smiles to me...
wahhhhhh i feel... so strange... i've been that resturant/ chinese cafe for... at least 5 times?
and... i reconize him... i dont think he's this kind of sweet waitor ???
then... he's like... 40++ ? could be my dad ... and i observe other customers and listen ...
i dont find him's that nice to other customers...
so, i ownder if i look so different today? or i wear too strange for him ???

i hang ard Festival Walk... was in Page One, this book store is really like Chapters(my fav in Van)!

today is my first day. i also have an appointment with my dad, and his boss with his family.
we had dinner together, and follow up some details... about... something.
okay... so... i wear... the tan- tup in black with some silver and gold accessory.
then i have my deep grey top outside. (which both from esprit)... then i have black pants with
flat black shoses, just like lots of girls, i think? so... what's so special? i dont know.

hummm my work is okay... today.... didnt do alot of things... hear the history, and background,
then... Mr. chow told me me the complicated time table and invisible rules there..
after all, i just have to prepare the all the exercise for two chinese classes...
but... i have to follow up the name list, then...
pick up the certain exercise, make the coppy, from the big files... then... yea... have to prepare all
of them in the order. hummm first time to use the real coppy machine.
my home one is... 3 in one, funtioning the scanning, printing and coppying.

alright... hummm during my boss, MR. Chow, talking talking and talking...
i got my sweet call... =( but so sadddddd..... coz... i couldnt really talk to him,...
like... i couldnt interupt my boss, right? then i said... i replied... i talk to you later, then i hang up.
i know that's damn bad, coz... i actually wanna talk with him, but... just... you know...
then... MR. Chow also said... next time, you could dirvert your calls to the office.
sigh...... so... often could hear the voice, then... i had to hang up... =(
hummm then i did mesg him after finished the breifing and his "history+background sharing"
but... he didnt reply me... then after work i also sms him... also no replies..
i wonder if he's angry at me.
i dont call him, coz ... i dont wanna disturb him... he's more busy than me.. so... i would mesg him,
but not calling him... so when he called me, i m very happy, and i do appreicate his calls.
anyway... he might be angry ?
hummm then i got the second call, that's from mom... i didnt take her call... she seldom call me suddenly.
but when i called back, i asked her why she called me, coz she did know i ve to work,
and i couldnt talk on phone... she said she was bored waiting for my sister =.=
i wonder if there's any emergency... coz... we can always talk, like at home... eating... before
sleeping, anytime.... but someone's not. so..... i'm sorry i ve to take someone's call but not mom's one.

anyway... i couldnt really talk on phone.... coz i got to respect the rules there, right..
but... i will ... i mean... i will take calls, if i'm not invovled in any conversation there; or if i'm just doing
my part, in my control, i would take calls.

dinner time?
sigh... we went to Star House... in Tsim Sha Tsui...
that Chui Chau style resturant... called... "Kim Dao" erhhh my chinese pin yin is bad.
They force me to eat... then we talk.... they ask me questions...
then after dinner... we shop for a notebook for his daugther.... we chat more.
and then i've met a new friend... well he's the promoter, very poliet and smart but not aggressive.
really great that he's very knowledgable... i wonder why... he told me he's from NewZealand.
and he was major in Programing. oh great, i got his business card. he even gave me his hotmail/msn.
nice to meet you, Vincent =)

anyway... i will go to Toronto first, i will arrive there on 13th or 14th.
then i will fly down to Vancouver on the next day or next two day from Toronto.
i will stay in Van for around 5 days to 7 days, then i will come back.
what's my mission? ? ??? Take care of his daugther... send her to her school safe.
hummm nice? very nice... so i m coming back Van! wait for me !

hummmm till now, still vent any sms from him... what happened?
i hate this kind of feelings....

okay... and i havent got Benny's news yet... hummmmm...
i wonder what to do with the parcel now... uncle Simon is still angry at me..
and Simon refused to pass the parcel to Benny.... also refused letting Benny to contact him..
sigh... Benny has no time or his friends have no time to help him.
and now i'm at the middle. what should i do ?
***

>>May 3, 2006 at 4:41:36 PM GMT+8

2006 年 5 月 1 日 星期一 【晴】

Hihi =)

heehee...
first of all... i wanna say, i've done my Group Dynamic Exam le~
hahaha... sigh,.... it was okay.... i used.... 1 hr 30 mins to finish... i thought i would need 3 hrs hahah..
hummmmmmmmmmm.... finally i've covered all the materials.. sigh...

today, woke up... then... sitting on bed, hummm was a bit over slept.. then..
suddenly, my phone virbrating zzz zzz zzz~~~ then ... haha i got a sweet call =)
then really got up le...
going out then have breakfast at pacific coffee in festival walk... reading again..
then went to exam....* thanks for the sweet calling and those lovely sms.
okay =)

hummm taking class after exam.. so i'm very tired now... sigh...
i went to bed arnd 2 am, but i actually slept around 4 am, then woke around 7am.

hummmm hk weather is so shit... so hot sometimes cool... sigh... sometimes raining..
i cough again...

okay, today Gender role class... we talk about Media and Gender..
hummmmmmmmm we do some analy. abt the magazines and newspaper.. okay,...
discusions in class...

okay.
end of the issue.

by the way,
new job started, tomorrow... and i will have the appointment dinner.
2006年05月02日 Tue 17:39:41 (GMT+8)

***


Second Part:
now is 10 55 pm.
hummm after that exam, i felt a bit empty.... how to say...
have been very busy stressed doing stuffs and preparing ofr exam or project..
now suddenly finished... and i got nothing to do, except sitting, sleeping and eatting and...
waiting for friends' call, waiting for sms... ahhhhh i feel quite empty today.
see, actually cas you get used to be busy... no job no study you would feel really bad.
erhhhh... but sometimes taking a break from the busy days is great, isnt it..

anyway, i still have one big project with presentation due to May 19,
and the Gender Role final would be on 24 th. hummmm now still on schooling..
only two classes/ week... ahhhhhh then tomorrow new job started.
but i havent resign my job in pcc yet.. so.... hummmm bascily... i'm waiting for tomorrow..
and then i would decide what to do with pcc. coz i'm not sure... if i ve to... resign 1 week
before i really quit.. i'm not sure. anyway... yea... tonight is a bit bitter.

and i'm waiting for my friends' calling... (ah~ actually if anyone call, that would be so amazing)
coz no one actually would call me so suddenly? haha dont know. i got a sms and a call from
Shan and E-man... hummm for SOMA and LSC =)

so bored...............
and i wanna chat... but my frineds, re always busy... sighhhhh
yea la, me also busy what, but today ... so empty. so bad.
anyway, i would be fine tomorrow =)

2006年05月02日 Tue 23:06:08 (GMT+8)
***


Part Three:

hummm now is 12 02 am...
just feeling bored and bored..

thikning of 3 songs.

i really love this song "BAD DAY"... so great...
yea... i wanna ask Where is the moment i needed the most
i kick up the leaves and the magic is lost. i tell ppl my blue skies fade to grey
i tell ppl my passion's gone away. i stand in the line just to hit a new low,
i'm faking a smile with the coffee i go, i tell me myself life's been way off line
i'm falling to pieces everytime ...
(this kind of feelings was so strong in Van, and i brought them back to hk with me.
whenever i m faking i smile, i think of my face with the coffee i go. i couldnt feel my passion,
just like... i ve already eased my soul. i'm easily falling into pieces, why? i dont know why,
but that's me.)

Well i need a blue sky holiday, the point is they laugh at what i say.
Sometimes the system goes on the blink , and the whole thing turns out wrong.
i'm telling myself that, "Cas, You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
strong, and I'm not wrong..."
i work at a smile and i could only go for a ride.
sometimes... i'm not sure if it's called seeking a chance or waiting for a chance to make myself
happy. but i just know... Cas... you... plx... carry on.

end of today..
***

the "coming back for more" from Ashlee Simpson
it says :
[I really wish sometimes that we would just move on
But what would I be doing if you were gone.]

it's so true, isnt it?
another song: "Boyfriend", also from Ashlee...
[All that stuff about me,
Being with him,
Can't believe,
All the lies that you told,
Just to ease your own soul,
But I'm bigger than that,
No, you don't have my back,
No, No]

wahhhhh what the hell.... so nice lyrics hahaha.
never ever do sth stupid to ease your soul.
and the last song: "Bad day", from Daniel Powter:
that's also my fav. song in Van... oh gosh... it finally comes to hk! i mean hte album ! it takes a year!

[Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel one more time
You had a bad day ]

***
Cas, you have a "bad day"..

>>May 2, 2006 at 4:25:00 PM GMT+8

2006 年 4 月 30 日 星期日 【晴】

hey...
last night... i read the mails again, which is sent by JongHoon(Jason)-opbba(brother).
actually he has sent me the movies !!! i also forgot that he took movies...
yes... i watched them over and over again... so lovely memorries.. i kept laughing!
if i could upload all of them here, i would do that hahahaha..

coz just so lovely... ahhhhh it makes me missing him so much... i miss all my frineds,
i miss my days there... oh my god... what's today? MAY 1st !!
you know what... last year... May, i was preparing my school in Van.
so... basicly,... i had already started my Van trip.. i really miss all those memorries...
just one year ago.... it's like.... just so short time ago... but it's been a year already..
when i watch my pictures at yahoo just now, or review those clips...
i found myself changing... my style, my face, maybe my make up? hahaha... all changing..
and i'm not that fat fat le... hahaha... oh... how lovely those days re...
i couldnt just forget those days... somehow i feel like... although i'm back.. i still miss there lots..
hummm let's say... i remember the first week or two weeks when i's back from there..
i felt really really uncomfortable. dont ask me why... just the feelings.
and... now... i adapt to all the strange feelings.. and i'm living very well with my family.
but somehow i still missing so much abt my stay there.

my school started, made me feeling more comfortable... then i started my job...
and now the sec job is coming... facing lots of problems...
i think i've been back for... 6 months already. just as long as my stay there...
i would like ot say... those 6 months in Van re much nicer than the past 6 months in HK..
ven though i've learnt alot, and i became more"beautiful", as in my life... and yea, phy-ly,
i'm prettier hahaha no just kidding,... i just slim down a bit only.. then... i dont know...
feels like the past 6 months were... just passing so fast... then now... i tell myself...
just one year ago, you were in Van taking test for class arrangement. haha...
i laugh... and feel sour in my heart.. coz i really miss those days so much..
i thank to god... coz that' what i ve been praying for, and he makes that happen.
and after this trip.... i really feel like to cry alto alot... just coz i've gained so much..
eventhough i didnt decide to stay longer, and i choose to come back...,
i still feel like it's just perfect. i couldnt ask for anymore, coz... everything is just so great.
yea, i did cry, i got hurt, but i'm happy now. hahaha... weird girl... but it's true..


okay, back to my study first...
i have finished the book already... now going to read through those notes and exercise.
hope that i would be fine... anyway, i dont think i will be able to get an A..
mostly got get a B. i think my in class activities re just low performance... haha..
why? coz we're always the slowest group, and we changes member all the time.
whoever can join or leave.. and we're the only group special like that.
well, although we dont cooperate very smoothly or... let's say not very efficient,
but i enjoy alot and experience alot =) i think that's the class for. learning and experiencing,
even though the score is a bit lower than other groups, it's fun and nice =)
alright..

last night got the sweet call, then i kept studying.. hummm till 4 am?
i was very awake, but i dont wanna continoue... ocz i cant concentrate anymore..
just went t bed.. then got up not too late... but watching tv, eating corn flakes w/o milk,
and.... reading my book... then had lunch... and reading my book... and come on line...
watching clips and pictures ;) then... now going to finish all the notes and exersice.

take good care, all my dearestsssss,
i miss you guys soooo much !!!!!!!!
sigh.... i wonder what it would be like when Aug i went to Van again.
could i see all you guys again huh? i really miss you gusy so much...
but i know many of you re not at there anymore... then what's the point for me to go back there?
i would miss you guys even more and more... and like.. i would cry alot..
just coz... you guys re not there anymore.everywhere got your foot prints, had our memorries.
anywhere, everywhere... only me standing there, walking at there... but w/o you guys.
how could i enjoy my trip there w/o you guys?

i miss you, my dearest,
i miss you, my someone, my dear, my darling, whoever once you're in my life for one second.
***


Sharing:
that's Jong Hoon's last day, after KTV, we were at starbucks Robson,
then he gave me gifts... and i was touched and supprised... really.

In their fare-well party

i cooked at his homestay

hummm i also have lots of pics with my Song, HAK GON! hahaha...

yea, still keep contacts with Hak Gon all the time hahaha... we share music, so great !
okay.
here's my Korean teacher, my classmate also, Pil. He's an excenlent teacher honestly!
and you see Yui, she's my partner in my Hospitality class project, we did an A.

okay... you see... i was like 19 mah ? hahaha..
see my school pics, he's dong Eon... my first Korean buddy... he gave me too much memorries.
but ... so pity that... i dont know why suddenly he turned to cold to me. i wondered why.

my last birthday, these girls re my friends, sisters: stehine and micico

in the first month, i always hang out with these 3 Korean guy friends at night or day time.
they're dong Eon's best friends.

these guys re so lovely... no Kiana, i would be pretty bored, no Taku, no my bday party!

She's Alesja, one of my best friends there, always be with me =) cheers*
she teaches me what is kisskiss and... she supports me totally..

These three singapoean girls re my angels... hahaha... really my best friends and buddies..
they gave me the sweetest stay in Van... my last months was with them, so sweet.
when i cry, they cry with me. when i laugh, we laugh louder! we're crazy.. haha..
i coudnt forget what we always do and what we really do... you guys do everything ofr me.
i m so touched..by them... Cyn, Ade and Vicvic. you always see i mention them here.


in June, i would be 20 le... see.. me... changing now?
i found myself... changing alot..

i was soooo boring at home... just resting...
then i took some pictures...

2006 年 4 月 29 日 星期六 【晴】

Hummmm 1st-ly, have to edit something about last entry.
that should be ICE SKATING, not SKIING.

okay, today woke up quite late, last night not feeling well.
and then i got the sweet call =) hee and then some sms, hee =)

alright,
i'm studying at home now... very bored hahaha... i wonder if i'm a good student now.
i've nt really read my book actually. so... now it's hard to start, but i'm doing okay...
i just read the introduction and summary of each chapters...
i finished the Chapter 1 and chapter 2...

let me do some summary here, to test myself:

Chapter 1
1) the definition for group dynamics: the area of social science, focus on the advancing knowlege
of the group nature. it is the scientific study of group nature, behavior,group dev., interactions b/w
group members and other groups.
2) Nature of group: indi. orientation and group orientation.
3) Types of group: 4 of them: Pseudo, Traditional, Effective, High performance.
4) Stages of group dev:
Forming, Norming, Storming, Performing, Adjouring.(Sequential stages)
5) Recurring Stages:
Task and emotional expressions; Depend, pair, fight, flight; Affection, inclusion, control.
6) What 's a GROUP:
Goals, Interdependence, Interpersonal interaction, Perception of membership, Structured relationship,
Mutual influence, Motivation
7) Group productivity elements:
postive interdependence, indi. accountability, promotive interaction, appropriate of social skills,
group processing.


Chapter 2
Action Theory -> Experiential learning -> Procedural Learning.
1) Action Theory: wht actions re needed to ache. a desired consquence in a given sit.
If we do x, y result.
2) Experiential learning: reflecting on one's experience, and continally update, gererate one's
action, make action beome effective.
3) Procedural Learning: that's the conceptual learning. Wht's hte skill, then keep practicing,
elimiate the errors till sucess. All is based on experiential learning.
a) understand the conceptual nature of the skill
b) use the skill
c) obtain feedback abt ur performance
d) use the skill again in a modified way untill u eliminate errors in using the skill and attain an
automated level of mastery.
4) Kurt Lewin:
* interact and reflect.
5) Head nad Hand Learning: Head= Cognitive, Hand=Practise
6) Result of Experitial Learning:
through the changes in cognitive understanding, attitudes, and behavior pattern, to experience
the psychological success.
7) in group, remember to be competently and ethically.

***
alright... i found that i really undersatnd what the book saying... but i couldnt remember all of the
information in series. hummmm cas, you gotta read mroe chapters now.
be back later.
3: 18 pm
***


hello, now is 8 06 pm..
very very bored... sigh.... that's why i came and sitting...
hummm i ve reviewed the chapter 3 and chapter 4 already...
what the hell... so many tables there.. i wonder how i'm gonna remember all he stuffs.
you know what, my brain is sooooo small... haha... just kidding..
but honestly, you guys know me the most... do you remember that last time, the chinese dictiaion
in F.5 ? JeeeeeZZZ..... i memorize the paragraphs whole night then... just before i took the
dictiation, i forgot all ... then i got an egg that time. and lucky that... my writting is better than reading.
my Chinese HKCEE got a pass, rarely pass. sigh..... now, i start to wonder why i dont take major
in Account or Math stuffs... Psychology is about reading, and studying...

actually the book has.... 11 chapters... but i will only focus on ch. 1- 7.
i know it's not the good idea... but no choices... i still ve notes and some exercise waiting for me.
AHHHHHH~~~~ EEEEEEEE...... so bad =(
why cas? you dont enjoy studying anymore?
not this case, but just feel hard to concentrate. no prepartion for exam actually.
coming too fast... excuses, right? yes, really...
everyone is studying so hard.... cas... wht re you doing here =(

if it's possible, i would rather giving myself a period, like a week, sitting down, only focusing on
exam stuffs... but now... where got time.
i just finish the class, then everyday is busy do this do that. actually now i just put the stuffs
aside first... wait the exam is done, then next day i already have to work.
then ve to rush in another report and presetation and exam following. hummm i know on Tue,
i will have an appointment with dad and his boss family(Mr. Zhang, Mrs. Zhang and her daughter).
hummmm that's "polictical dinner", the seond part lor... this time gonna continoue talking about
that mission. i'm thinking like... if i really need to take this trip. coz... sigh dont know...

hummmm... then i really wanna go Ocean Park... i wanna see those Jelly fishes hahahaha
so cute, so beautiful... i might go in June... with my group of girls hahaha...
and if someone really come over, we could go together =P really looking forward it coming !

hummm cas, you tell yourself what you should do now.
you do know your exam is very important. you do know that last term you did not so well..
and this term you see... you're so lazy~~~
but the fact is... since i taking part-time job, i really need mroe and more time to rest..
and that's why it's harder for me to sit down concentrate on reading.
coz everytime when i'm free to sit down, i would have otehr stuffs to do, or i would be pretty
tired already. not even have a peaceful moment recently... what kind of student i am ? =S

see.... dont consider studying in the private school... i mean... this kind of program... so condense
who 's the director ??? so bad course design... sigh...
i rather grad later, but make sure i could have enough time to digest all the information.
so sucks now.... HELP~~~~~~ !!!

Ah Za Za Fighting !!! Fighting !
that's korean slang... my korean friends taught me..
sigh... thinking of Dong Eon, Pil, they're my frined from VPC also my korean teacher...
MiHyeon, Susumu, Taku, Yui, they're my VPC friends also... from Korea and Japan...
then... Jason(my op bba), Hak Gon(my son), Young, Choi, all my korean friends.
Tai, Eva, Stephine, Kiana... my VPC friends, and they're from Taiwan and China.
Ade, Cyn and Vicvic, they're my very close friends and best friends ... They're from Singapore.
Alesja!!!! she's my best friend, very close buddy... she's from Germany..
also... Dong eon's guy frineds: Hang Sang Gon(Seyoung), and Tsui Sang Gon... hahaha...
sometimes we hang ard at night... we went drinking, ktv, cooking at their home.
they're the very nice and gentelment guys. hahaha....
missing you all !!!!!

okay... back to my study...
cas, you guess... how many chapters you culd cover more, in tonight???
could you study all the chapters before you sleep? ahhhhh
ah za za fighting.. fighting... =(
***

>>April 30, 2006 at 12:39:04 PM GMT+8