2006 年 1 月 28 日 星期六 【晴】

wah...

last night,... hummm nope... last afternoon, after a breif chat with darling on line,
then, miki and me went to Sha Tin, what a huge mall in NT... very nice....
it would distance me away from KL and HKI, hahaha... coz not need to go far from NT.
and once again, i hate going to CausewayBay... damn crowed.
of course i did not go to Wai Yueng, the best, biggest, most special annual market,
and also the most crowed one =.=

then, after a few hrs, we went to Ma On Shan, coz we would have the gathering dinner at granpa
's home. hee, with a few aunts and cousins.
before, we hang around there, and have dessert at the tea house =P chinese dessert!
nice for thoaut in winter, good for health also. hee..
then at granpa's home, last night we had Poon Choi, ahhh smart you understand what i say right? ^^
kindda like chinese buffet in a small tang. everything is included. nice~~

then back to home.... soooo tired....


today, had to wake up quite early(not really early, but for me, lately that's absolutely early)
coz... we need to attend to a BIG EVENT every- 1 st days of the chinese new year.
hummm that's going to say hi to everyone from dad's side, esecially to grand-parents.
we used to have vegetarine food on this days, coz... grnadma said that's nice for the chinese gods.
oh Gosh... ok... this year, plan changed finally. no more lunch gathering, but morning gathering,
no more grand-parents' food but dim sum at restaurant. but then after that morning gathering,
we all went to grnad-parents' home for chinese dessert, the soup ... nice =)

then ... hummm left... then my family just hang around, actually only some chain-stores opened.
hummm mostly fashion, or restaurant. bakery off, some resturant off.
supermarket's opened... hummm grnadma's home is opned! =P
hummmm we back home and eat... coz actually... this kind of gathering couldnt really eat...
just seat and talk if there's someone talking to you.... the response 's a must.

then we watched vcd at home! nicest ! hahaha

hummm
today morning, i didnt have time to come on line even though i really want.... ><
coz i wanna know who's on line =P ?!
hummm and i wanna know if darling's on line or not... today is his start on holiday...
i didnt ve time... morning i was rushing to out with family... i was the last one who locked the door.
hummm but when i got there, i mean the resturant, i sms darling and aunt... i mean his mom.
just now i finally got aunt's sms ^^ happy. but didnt get his yet... dont know why.

Hak Gon is back ! i just chated with him ^^ hohoho supprise! coz i thought he would be back later,
around Feb... i didnt know he came back already! hahaha... nice !

miss everyone lots and lots... especially my darling..
humm.... when i could see him again?

>>January 30, 2006 at 4:31:20 AM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 27 日 星期五 【晴】

yesterday,

i woke, then... have something to eat...
then wait till my parents re ready to go; we, 5 of us, left...
then have dim sum at a resturant, then we went to dad's office.
dad got something to do,... then we walked around Tsim Sha Tsui heehee
has been long vent really hang around Tsim Sha Tsui with family, we mostly stay in Tai Po,
yea,... miki bought a nice jacket at 2%.... it was like 60%off. nice huh?
then... dad bought 2 jeans i guess.
then we went to Marks&Spencer, we bought some candies ^^
dad and leggy went to ToyRus...hahah!! then mom, me and miki went to Mcdonald's...
too tired... we seat at there... then dad and leggy came, then they eat something.
then we walked around Sogo, haha... then... we walked to the resturant lor,
for the dinner with lots of relatives from mom's side.
nice! see lots of nice cousins!!! wow... so long havent seen them...
i seat with my younger cousin, then we chat about lots of stuffs...
i'd never fund he had so much to say actually. he's a nice teen. he's not just a lousy teen.
good for him =) then i see Sheila! wow^^ and Isabella ! heehee^^ so nice to see them!
then i also see other nice cousins, thought we didnt ve much chances to talk.

then back from Tsim Sha Tsui, we went to the Night Market, that's the chinese annual market.
that's for chinese new year... nice =)

then back home, very very tired, especially my feet, kindda hurt.
then couldnt sleep dont know why...
but then,... i slept around 4 30 am i guess? just woke... nice.

i dreamt alot, i dreamt of darling.
you know... pretty strange that i dreamt of him and me re in sg... then he was like in love, or
another fishy relationship with another girl... ahhhh... in the dream, i was not happy, sounds like
gotta share him with another girl... why? strange... in that dream, i found that.... even though
i was there, but he 'd still neglect me alot alot... ahhhh!!!! i hate this kind of dreams.... =(

i see him on line now... he's busy leh, then he also left his office number at msn for his customer,
included his ext. line. hummmm... i miss him so much... i guess last night i missed him too much,
that's why i couldnt sleep..

anyway... he would start his holiday from tomorrow... i really miss him...

>>January 28, 2006 at 4:42:52 AM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 25 日 星期三 【晴】

Today, i waked up late again wow~ nice sleep haha..
then go buy lunch and send it to leggy's school again.

hummm
then i come buy some sushi, and some fries, and some sweet bread to home for lunch.
you know what, we have "Bread Talk" in HK now, i mean actually they're here for long i guess.
but i saw this in Tai Po Center. nice! i notice that cute bakery in SG last year,
then... yup they're from SG, super nice smell.. haha..
they re selling Kaya, too... yea by the way, i still vent tried the Kaya Vic vic brought me last time.
and the other Kaya i brought from Vancouver was expired already, still in the fridge.

anyway, i buy lunch home watting with my mom^^
then she was tidying up home, i was watching movie, Mummy2.
i adore this movie ! you know what... in Van, i always play this movie...
and now home, i always love this movie... just excellent!
i find that actually i like Egyept... so beautiful. This story is wonderful.. advanture movie, nice!

hummm then go out to pick leggy up with mom.
on the way, i went in the bank, and take some money... then i buy shoses today.
hummmm that's from the "Inshoes",
quite not famous brand, and the only nice shoes re already picked by me already =P
hummm cant show how it looks like here... but fine... it 's on sale, so... before, it cost $500+++
but it really doesnt worth that price actually(coz Staccato would be much nicer)..
then now it cost $ 330 HKD, nice? dont know, maybe...
try to post its picture here later.

i wanna say something about the tv program i watched few days before...
That's the " Nip Tuck"
it was great. hummm you know i think Christain would find out what true love means.
he was so affraid he would get HIV +ve, not coz he's scared for himself... but mostly...
for all the girls who ve slept with him. oh lucky that he's fine, he's -ve.
then Shawn, he's kindda lucky, too... coz his face re fine now.
man... he broke his wife's heart.... then now,... he find that he still loves his wife.
he was really mad at her, coz she had sex with Christain before their marry.... and she gave
birth to their son, but his dad is Christain, not Shawn.... after 20 years, Shawn found it out.
well which man could stand for that huh? not much... and Shawn cant.
then.... after all, Shawn slept with another girl, but... well eventually sounds like he still loves
his wife, gosh i forgot her name.... she was so in love with him, but... now she's with someone.
anyway... Nip Tuck this series is really really nice... gotta watch it.
Friendship, Love... nice. their relationship is quite complicated, but... nice.
the friendship b/w Shawn and christain could be seen after so much things happened.
and then love b/w Shawn and his wife.... nice.

i had nice lunch, and i ve time to read my book again =)
then today daddy fax my "drop form" and "add form" to school for me.
perhaps i could change the course. i dont want Abnormal Psy, i like Human Growth instead.
nice huh?

my darling's on line now, but he's pretty busy lately, dont really wanna disturb him though i would
still talk to him or ask him something. hummm, but i know he's busy. i love him.
and i'm not blaming on him anymore. perhaps he would take his time.

***

>>January 26, 2006 at 11:27:05 AM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 24 日 星期二 【晴】

Wah... supper tired today.

i waked by mom, but i didnt want to get up.
so tired.... then hang out abit, so nice holiday start.

i buy lunch and sent it to leggy's school, that's what mom always do.
then, i went to a tea house, sitting down have some hot sytuffs... on the way, i buy something
to eat, coz i heard that store's jap fishball's really nice( i dont know its name)..
then yea sitting at the tea house, taiwanese tea house for long, coz i was reading my lovely book,
once again, Tuseday with Morrie ^^ heehee,... i sit there for long, then saw Ting Ting,
my dear old friend!, then she was with her boyfriend.. hummm then i saw Tse sir!
i guess that's his lunch time from school. haha... just greet him then he need to go.
hummmm i bought egg tarts to home, i still vent tried to make my own egg tart shell.
so, i just buy egg tarts to home.

supper tired, no energy to go jogging, though i really want...
yea, i ve bought the stuffs for darling, too... so i might write him a letter, then send him maybe
after the new year public holiday... coz i' not sure if the post office be closed.
and i' m worried for the lsot, too... hummm yea...
i'm worried that i couldnt post before new year... but that's also the fact that i was too busy.

damn bad feeling with my body now...
not complaining for my junk food intaking lately... but just feeling not well.
maybe coz it's cold outside? i dont know... i feel a bit sick, but again, not that kind of illness,
such as fever or whatever... just feeling not well... but dont know what the hack is that.

ahhh! last night, got Tung's call hahaha! nice! let's hang out someday.
i'm sure i wont waer mini skirt in the winter. haha... lighly make up is fine,...
which good looking girls dont make up? be honest, right?

supper nice day oday?! i'm not so sure, but at least i ve rest a bit, i mean i relax...
coz i seat at there reading my book so peacefully... i love that."
and i love to stay at home watching movie, and eating stuffs or just make some simple food for
myself... i wanna make some pop corn for myself, too... anyway... let's see how things go.
i'm really tired and desire some more personal space...
but you know, i'm living in a talkative family, especially my youngest sister... gosh...
leggy should shut her mouth off sometimes, and mom is very very "mommy like"
i'm not complaining to it, but i just want my own quiet moment, i want to rest my mind and ears.
and miki, miki loves to talk to me whatever news come to her, regarding everthing.
haha.... sometimes when i 'm busy, i close my ears.
daddy, man... he's quite bitchy... hahaha.... and he likes to talk at his own points, quite arthoritative.
i dont like his speech... but he's my dad. i love this funny talkative family...
but i just want to stay quietly...
especially on my holidays...

i guess darling would agree with me, and we would get along well,
coz he likes peace at home especially he love sleeping hahaha... then sometimes he likes loud music.
and that's also my favour, too... he likes eatting, and i like eating and cooking.
i guess that's nice for both of us. sometimes i dont like to talk too much at home, i just want peace
and someone stay with me only. i dont necessarily bring my love any hard problems,
but need someone to stay with. the communication could be simple and easy.
women re touchy animal... some hugs and kisses would be great enough.
oh well sex that's really welcome depends on if you guys re in love, very honestly.

i'm speech-less till i met someone nice to talk to... but mostly talk some girl stuffs or food.
yea i'm girlish, though sometimes i'm a bit tough (can ask my groupmates), and i'm a woman like.
i'm okay with the super talkative or very demanding friends, but i 'm not his type of person.
i m simple, quite easy going, but dont like to be so sociable... i would be so happy if i ve a group
of close friends. i like gathering more than party. party is really nice, but gathering could be closer.

i used to be so scienfitic, like to talk about science, talk about math or biology..very talkative
but now, i slow down myself, start to enjoy being quiet, and looking what 's happening around.
i like reading articles on net, or yup reading book, i like music stuffs, i like fashion but not too much...
i'm willing to spend on the products i like, not the brand, (though i love some brands, like edc).
love to talk with the ppl, who likes to share his life, his mind. yea, ppl is changing, and i'm changing.

so, anyone could tell what kind of personalites i hold ?
hahaha....

wishing for jogging , a quiet time for continouing on my book, a nice quiet lunch tomorrow.

tired now,
go watch tv or movie then i would take a snap...
miss my darling, *hugie~~
***

>>January 25, 2006 at 10:23:30 AM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 23 日 星期一 【晴】

Hohoho~~~

Finally this term is done~
wah~~~ last night i slept at 3: 40am, then today waked at 7 30am...
damn tired... i was rushing the paper yesterday... finally it's done..
attend to the presentation, watching other students presenting... then ve the super late lunch with
one of my groupmates, Yedda. nice =) actually i'm not that cold la. but just in class, i'm quite cold.
yea, i used not to trust to my groupmates, but yesterday, i was too stress, i couldnt write anything.
my mind is blank, so... yup i stopped for long... i felt so terrible.
then i asked them for help... heehee, and then i got their files today morning or last late night.
then i edit them, and rewrite some parts, today in the early morning till noon.
then i sent to my groupmate, then i went to school.
i was pretty fear, coz i lost my file while i was attaching to hotmail.
well, pretty lucky, thanks to jesus, otherwise really no paper to hand in... really gotta hang.
haha... then now i'm happy =P

miss my darling so much~~~
today, i bought some candies and chocolate for him =P
and then of course i buy some for hakgon, coz i promised him i would send him chocolate after
his army camp =P how's him now? miss him. then yea also for alesja! coz i just miss her so much,
and she got some troubles now, i really wanna give her some support...
^^ heehee... alesja~~
yea, yesterday met a new net friend, he's from hk also, but he's my friend's friend. he's in hk now.
hummm nice to meet him actually, he has one chinese charater as same as mine, Kwan.
then i ve talked with Aug last night, thanks for his support~ =)
i miss darling so much, i know he must be busy now, then i just sms him today.

*hugie~~~

night castor,
finally you can rest some more, and then i know you want to exercise for long!!!
go for that!!! you can do that now!! woohoo~~~ !!
i want my tv show tonight-- Nip Tuk, i want my nice sleep tonight, i want my lovely book--
Tuesday with Morrie, i want my tv time with family, i want my exersice and walking!!
wah ^^ ! wow! happy~
if i ve a wish, i wish i can be with darling now.

>>January 24, 2006 at 11:57:42 AM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 22 日 星期日 【晴】

SO STRESS !!!

due to tomorrow...
i know i ve so much to do...
i just... cant take it man...

i hate that...
can i just quit it???

by the way, i've bought my favourite book already, as my chinese new year gift.
"Tuseday with Morrie"

miss darling, miss him so much... at this time 7 57, i finished dinner with Elston and Wendy,
then we would walk around "Quaky" forget the spelling, then... yea met up darling.
then we went to have some drink together, with darling's friend also...
then after that, we met another friend from darling.. then... yea...
finally we hold hand. heeheehee >< !!! so sweet ^^ finally. yea finally.

humm last night got audio with alesja! i miss her!!!!!!!!! nice chat, i really miss her alot..
then today just now, chat with ade, miss her so much, too...
oh gos, i really wanna go back to the past... i really wanna go downtown or whereever
with alesja, or go have fun with ade cyn and vic. i just miss them...
and i miss guy friends also... dong eon, pil, susumu or hak gon, jason...
then i miss kiana, mihyeon, stephine, eva... everyone!!~~~ sigh..

so stress now.....
what should i do...

so stress... wah... one year ago was so great ar, today sucks...
sigh... what i will be doing next year? hope to stay with darling actually.
wish me luck, then i can stay at his side ..... i think i would be grad. by next Feb coming.
yea, so... wish me luck huh eveyone...
sigh... i think i might drop the abnormal psy, then add human growth.
ade told me abnormal psy is kindda tough, then next term got research method... so i think
i really need to spend lots of time on it, then i got a culture class, must recite lots of things or
reading lots of articles... so i rather take the easlier class, the human growth rather than
the abnormal psy.

sigh.... SO STRESSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HATE THAT!!! HATE THAT !!!

SIGH.... SO SUCKS....

miss my darling, miss my friends, miss vancouver... sucks...

>>January 23, 2006 at 12:04:10 PM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 21 日 星期六 【晴】

Today, i waked up, then went to Festival Walk, for the discussion of our paper.
hell, we stayed at Pacific Coffe for 5 hrs 30 mins... from 10++ to arond 4 pm.
hummm talk about lots of stuffs... i drank so much, coz kept talking.
nice! perhaps we would pass... i just try..
i would have lots of things to do in thse two days... sigh... worried and stressed.
then my family was in Sai Kung, so they came to pick me up.

we're home, then i cook my lunch at 5++ pm. korean noodle.
then yup have dinner with lots of relatives( dad's side), grandpa's birthday.
i feel like so... bored... grandpa seems thinner, and grandma is shorter.
hummmm sooooo long havent seen them, i was missing them, but since i saw them,
nothing special... yea i dont really feel nice with dad's side..
hummm not comfortable.
my cousins... hummm i like my little cousin, Wilson, coz he's so cute. ahahaha...
but his sister, Yeung, hummmm i was raised with her... but since we grow, we dont really talk.
maybe coz of something happened within aunt and mom? i know there' re some problems before.
well... dont care...

the point is, at the end of that dinner, then grandma told me...
"Dont eat too much ar, otherise get fat ar, dont get fat ar..."
oh... haha i dont know what to say... then i just smile...
actually since i'm back, this is the first time to see them... nothing... no one really care about me.
you know, only Aunt Kwan asked me what i' m doing now...
humm they did ask mom this mornning when i was not there. hey, actually i dont mind.
but feeeling strange... why dont ask me directly?
fine...
the point is... " i dont really care since benny had never complianed about my shape or weight."
and then benny did say that he doesnt mind i'm beng fat... and i dont think i'm that fat lor..
i dont eat much as you think and that's very obvious, right? i dont eat much... so less...
dont feel like to eat lor, ok?
haha... i love benny, benny doesnt say anything lor. he said i m nice lor, ok? ^^ hee.

sigh.... come back to my part,
my studies...
sigh,..... i was thinking o drop Abnormal Psy, coz it's Mark Green again... and then the point is..
i dont really like to deal with abnormal... i'm not intesrested in it.
let's say... i wanna add Human Growth. although it's also Mark Green's class... but i'm interested
in human behavior. really. then...
the schedule sucks... coz if i take Human Growth, then i would have three classes at one day.
like from 9-12, then 1230-1530, then 1545- 1845. sucks, right? then i only have 2 days-class/ week.
sigh..... Abnormal is also not good, from 1545-1845... shit... i like morning class.
coz i can manage time table easlier. not much to choose... i dont want management courses...
and ofcourse there're not much choices for us la...

Just now i got a call ^^ from JACKIE!!!!! my lovely bestfriend!
she's back @@* hahaha!!! =D looking forward to seeing her again!!! sigh.... Shan and her re my best
friends lor. i might meet Shan on Tue, after my class for presentation.
hummm not sure...
then i really wanna meet Jackie... i miss her alot... i tried to call her when i was in Van,
then we chated and audio in msn sometimes =P

hummm, missing my darling benny lots.
missing my dear friends lots and lots...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

share a song: My Love, Westlife.
this song i heard so many times before, but didnt pay attention to it.
till the day i was in Van, then that was Jason's last day, he brought me to a Jap Ktv with his
Jap friend(host), then his friend brought another Jap guy...
so, four of us went to Robson, a Jap KTV... He told me that 's his favourite song...
he sang to me. hummm nice =) i could feel how hard he was trying to show me the meaning
of that song. well might not be that kind of love, but the feeling with leaving.
you know what i was so touched, i just know i would miss him so much. he was singing to me.
i dontk now if he likes me or not, but at that moment, i was touched.
yea, then at that day, at robson, he asked me something, i still remember what he asked.
then yea, we went to buy lots of stuffs... coz of his last day. i brought him manystuffs.
he invited me to his homestay to share him the last dinner. so nice.
i know he's a really really nice guy, very sweet and protective, very gentelment, very thoughtful.
he's cute, and intellent. he's good looking... but you know what... something couldnt be happened.
shouldnt, so that's couldnt.
anyway, everytime i listened to this song, i think of him and our lovely friendship.
i call him my brother Opp Bba. that's korean. he's a korean. then he would call me Dong Sang, sister.
actually not really brother and sister, just the culture is like that. older man called yougner girl as
Dong Sang, and girl called older man Opp Bba. Joa Sae Yo doesnt mean Sa Ryang Hae Yo.
so... now, i just wanna share one song here.

My Love - Westlife

An empty street,
An empty house,
A hole inside my heart,
I'm all alone and the rooms are getting smaller

I wonder how,
I wonder why,
I wonder where they are,
The days we had,
The songs we sang together(oh yeah).

And ohhh.. my love,
I'm holding on forever,
Reaching for a love that seems so far,

Chorus:
So i say a little prayer,
and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue to see you once again,
My love,
overseas from coast to coast,
to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green to see you once again,
my love.

I try to read,
I go to work,
I'm laughing with my friends,
but I can't stop to keep myself

from thinking(oh no)

I wonder how
I wonder why
I wonder where they are
the days we had, the songs we sang together(oh yeah)

And ohhh.. my love
I'm holding on forever, reaching for the love that seems so far

Chorus

To hold you in my arms,
To promise you my love,
To tell u from my heart
You're all I'm thinking of

Reaching for the love that Seems so far

Chorus to end
***

When i will see you guys again? not only Jason, but so many of you..
my love, i really miss you. really really wonder why, wonder where they are.
so, i say alittle prayer, plx take me there, when the skies are blue, to see you once again.
i miss all of you really much.
then i also miss my darling so much..... sounds like whereveri go, i will still miss somoene
from overseas, from other places.
i miss Jason alot, i miss HakGon alot, i miss Vic, Cyn and Ade, i miss Alesja, Dong Eon, Pil,
Taku, Kiana, Stephaine, Tai, Eva, soooo many of you..... i miss Vancouver...

***

>>January 22, 2006 at 3:18:54 PM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 20 日 星期五 【晴】

Humm the change is...

i didnt prepare for my substance abuse final. but it's open book, open notes,
i was fine? i dont know... just finished in 2 hrs 30 mins. nice?
dont think so..

then i had my own lunch in a chinese cafe. erhhh haha eatting chinese stuffs =)
then, my dear groupmates come to find me, coz they just finished their final.
hummm we got back to school, prepare to read the data we rarely have.
then yedda joint us, me, iris and wesley.
then we went to mcdonald's (jordon), which i always buy my coffe.
hummm you know who i saw at there? Anita Tsang. the district manager of star
team. she didnt notice me i guess... they have a funtion there, a birthday party
for a singer. i wanted to greet her, but she was busy and me too.

the change is... i'm trying to get along with my dear groupmates =)
and it was fine. hummm... maybe... by this moment, we should work hard
together instead of...... just blaming on each others? i dont know...
but somehow i feel like... actually i'm not that smart, and they're not that
stupid. something i couldnt do well, but they do better than me =) nice huh?
yea... but i wont change my words, i mean i would not rely on anyone.
hummm but actually i really hate to do the data counting.. haha... so they take
that part. hummm nice... coz today we do coperate well. i'm happy.
maybe they're really worried the "F" or "D" or "C" would come?
i aim to get "A", but i know that's impossible... i want to hold a "B" now.
but you know what, we could be fail anytime now... coz we re so lack of data.
and the time is really fading off. lucky that wesley told me the paper is due to
Tue, not Mon... wah... i really didnt notice that. one more day, that could mean
a lot to us, in this situation.

i told myself, this time couldnt reflect our ability, but just the situation
and experience counted. i dont think we're that worst, but in this situation, no
one could blame on us, coz i dont think other groups could suceed in this
situation.

the change is... after that, i went to Esprit and refund that prefume.
i pay $60 hkd to get a nicer thing, a black color hand-bag. =)
so, all in total, i spent $1000 hkd in Esprit...

you know what, the change is... you know what happened one year ago?
the day of the last year, this time, 8 30pm... darling and me were at starbucks,
sitting at there and that's our first date. hahaha!! ^^
i miss him so much... you know, i forgot about that till i was walking to jordon
with my groupmates, by asking them a simple que, what's today? hahaha...
oh gosh! yea, today! 21st Jan... i was in singapore last year!
and i just recall everything on that day, coz... that was our first date.
hummmm i still remember so clearly what happened, what did darling say,
what did he do, what did i say hahaha... supper funny.
at that time i was too shy... but still feeling romantic... i even questioned myself
that if that was real... if darling really sitting beside me, although i was too shy
to talk to him.
it was strange, but now when i recall all the stuffs, i just felt so missing, so
romantic, so loving, so nice... i remember that day, i asked myself...
what i would be doing after one year... the ans i could tell now is Exam.
hahaha!! i'd never thought of Exam. yea, i ask the same question now... what
will i do next year? last year i asked myself if we would still be together.
the ans is yes, we're still together, although so many things happened last year.
sounds like today is our anniversary right? wrong! haha ours is on 1st Sep 2004.
yup, has been.... one year four months ^^ i'm really happy.

darling is very busy today... he jsut told me... hummm wish him well.
i really miss him alot, why? coz i love him so much.

see the changes?? yea i see them so clearly, and thanks to jesus .
gotta share something here:
before my exam, i got an idea which is reading "our daily bread".
i really heard that then i read... i didnt notice i got a wrong day of that page,
then it wrote "Difficulties tend to call out qreat qualities." i was so touched.
coz i ve been really frustrated and depressed lately... and today, it says
"you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier
matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith.--Mathey 23:23"
i lost my faith... hummm thanks for jesus that telling to me. and i've been
neglecting something important... the true meaning of my life, the happiness,
my true value on studies, not just an "A". my happiness with my family, my
family, my dearest darling and friends.

Changes? Yea ! Alot! can you see that?
castor, i want you to get your energy and keep going.
coz you know where the strengths from, and you know the love from.
thee's not such the eustress, but something more nicer in your heart, life.

love shouldnt be so stressful, not eustress, of course not disstress.
but something nicer in your heart.

9pm now.
we're still at that starbucks haha...
then later, he brought me to take taxi then mrt from Somerrest to Dhoby Ghaut.
and having my chinese chicken rice haha... lovely although that was not that tasty.
miss that rice with him.

>>January 21, 2006 at 1:02:21 PM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 19 日 星期四 【晴】

Part 2.

oh... well, after dinner and bath, i feel better now.
just now cried before dinner...

actually i come back here, coz i wanna write down my feelings for darling...
thanks for darling, i know he does something for me though he couldnt help me.
really miss him alot..
just now, i dont mean to keep the cold "blundant" (i forgot how to spell)
i was just very upset only...
really miss him lots and lots.

sorry for bringing him thi face =/=. haha... sorry my love...
i dont want to piss him, but i was too upset... so i was so cold to him lately..
darling was trying to.. .comfort me i know he did thought didnt work.
i appricate him and i love him.

darling would be so busy till the chinese new year...
hummm miss him ... really... i love him, last night i wrote a short letter to him.
see when i have time go to the post office... then i will post him some snacks and the little
gift last time i bought with vic vic in hk.
wish to have more time with darling... =(

i'm still sad, but i would stay strong.
i love him !!!!!!!!!!
and i love my frineds and family, too...
just that i love my studies but they dont love me.

*kiss kiss.(i know alesja would kiss kiss me hee everytime i'm sad)
*kiss kiss to my darling.
hug hug.. * his hugie

Jesus, i m sorry... and thanks for Your love.

>>January 20, 2006 at 3:24:19 PM GMT+8

2006 年 1 月 19 日 星期四 【晴】

You know what...

i'm very worried for the paper now. today i've talk with Mr.Chan,
we got only one teacher's feedback... so we dont have enough data now.
actually our paper could be fail in anytime now.
what can i do ? i just got Dr.Green's e-mial, damn it..
he said the questionnaire made him angry, so he's not willing to fill in.
i have nothing to say, i dont know how to reply his e-mial.
students didnt return us the questionnaire... i feel so frustrated....
very very frustrated. how could it be....
my groupmate asked me how to write the introduction... i try to help him.
he's very worried, i know, coz me too.
i dont wanna got fail, coz it's not the problem of my ability, is the situation.
how could it be.... no one's willing to help, gosh, you guys blood is blue and cold.

Mr.Chan said our group is... the worst now, coz... we got no data.
how to write...

castor, dont cry.... if now you cry then later you'll just get more more mroe
frustrated, then you would get lost... dont cry plx..

the last two days, i've been studying for my final exam for organizational behavior.
study not quite hard till today morning. you know what, i'm on period,
i feel uncomfortale with my body. couldnt concentrate on studies... but then
of course i did put lots of informtaion in mind... then today wake up so early
to finish all the notes and rewrite notes, reciting... then attend to the presentation.
the final was around 3 30pm, i left at 6 pm. i wrote 5 pages, but not as full as
last time. i think this is better.

Yea, today. then tomorrow got substance abuse final... then monday gotta
hang in that paper. still dont have any news about my second report for
substance abuse.
Next term's assesment was assigned already.
i need to take abnormal psychology, different cultures in US, and research methods.
hummm i might drop the abnormal psychology, i'm not sure.

i'm really depressed.
feeling like... it's all my fault, the paper, the reports... all is my fault to lead
my groupmates suffer with me.

i feel so sorry... but i couldnt do anything, and they might blame on me...
teacher would think it's my problem... but no one's gonna understand how much i did,
no one appricates my job, it's okay, i dont ask for it , coz i know i would make it done.
and then you would know i was right. but now, ... why it become like that.
and i'm sure i didnt do anything wrong... except trusting myself.
so, now, i'm going to fix the problems by myself or what?
they dont know how to do, i dont know too... coz i still find the diversity within the 4 of us.
how can i get it done?!! i cant stand that already.... plx... calm down..

no one understands, doesnt matter.

>>January 20, 2006 at 12:52:56 PM GMT+8