2006 年 3 月 21 日 星期二 【晴】

2006 年 3 月 20 日 星期一 【晴】

Today is quite tired...
hummm wake up around 11 something...

then rest and cook noddle for myself.
mom was doing housework, dad was ready to go working..
finished then wash of course, then study for the final of tomorrow.
tomorrow got the Culture Final. hummmmmmmm lots of history stuffs...
i really scared of it... why all the history.... it's killing me..
my head is getting large, no mood...
then after awhile i go out with mom. we go pick up Leggy...

i ate alot, today... so much... i guess i'm gaining weight now,
coz recently i dont go working, just eting and sitting...
and for these bust stress days, i really ate more than usual, especially sweet food and junk food.
snack, chips, dessert, spicy food, oily food, whatever..
so bad... and after eating those, i would regret alot.

now, back to here,... i just wanna run away.... =(
hey, this is not assignment, not research, not report what... then i just need to respond for
myself, right.... then yea i shouldnt give up so fast.
i dont run away of report, research, groupwork... but.... history stuffs... let me go plz !!!!! >.<

darling was sick last night...
he was on sickleave... =(
and then stupid me saw "him" online, i thought that was his brother...
then ahhhhhh... i asked him like if he's ok or not... (coz i thought that's his brother)
then he said no idea... i wonder why he didnt know how's darling...
then i told that person, i wish he's sleeping well now, plz take are of him... bye...
i just felt something's wrong by TODAY. then i think.... that's quite embarassed...
so... yea... i was like oh why it's so weird... (oz i thought that's his brother =.=)
and today i think coz i MISUNDERSTOOD !!! aiyo... if that guy told darling about last night..
so lame.....
and darling isvery busy today.
i really wish him well.

Sigh... how about my fainl on tomorrow?
no ideas... sigh...

today i heard mom said like... someday we would sell our apartment, then we rent a flat.
i know our economic status is lower now, if we really got to move out, where to move ?
and then i wonder why my grandparents always think like we're so rich... and that's not true !
and mom even report to me that dad said he spent so much on me, and it's not fair to my
sisters. and what can i say ? coz it's not like the past. i'm a bit guilty of that, coz i know the fact
is that, but i just couldnt help.

only Jesus know, and may God bless us.
i always thanks for what i have, always thanks for my luck..
i always appricate ppl, things around me... coz i know i'm just a little person in this world,
and i always be loved by God and the ppl around me.. how lucky i am...

yesterday, the last class,
Dr. Greene share with us that...
we should always start to do the life review, the flash.
"look at the everythings you do, someday you're going to review it.
Do the best for everyting." why he said that? coz he read a book lately, and the documentry
said that many ppl was dying, and they have the feelings like memorries flahes at that moment.
and lucky that they're safed or what, they're back to life. but they're totally changed.
they become aware of what they did to ppl, how they felt, stuffsl ike that.
then they change the life attitude, start to appricate ppl tings around...
i do that too even though i'm not dying... coz i do want to keep the nice moment, and find the
warm in my life.

***

>>March 21, 2006 at 10:21:06 AM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 19 日 星期日 【晴】

=)

today i have my last class of Human Growth!
finally done all the classes !!! all classes!! yeah~~@@
then i have the last quiz, well ^^ kkkk... i think i will get 98%
i hope so, coz it's open book, and then Mark Greene just post the reference page on
almost all the ques. so it's just so easy ! i guess i'm the first student get it finished !
=P so happy.

then after class, it's still early, then i just walk in the department store..
coz i wanna find a nice small lunch box( the snack box) for someone =)
yea, i had this idea since so long time ago... but i was so busy and tired (excuses) haha...
i've been thinking like should i get the smallest size or just small size?
coz dont want to be too large. it's not con to carry in bag...
and then maybe the person wont use it, coz it's not con, get what i mean?
i bring snack to school only use the zipper bag( plasic bag, which can be "zippered")
a box is not good for me, coz my bag are too full already, dont even consider a small box.
so, i wish it would be useful for the person.
coz.... the person should bring some snack to place.
=) it's just the little thing i wanna do for that person, hee.
so, now i can go doing my research now, like which one is the best, what color,
what size, how much. small or extra small, haha stuffs liek that. then i also can put in some
snack before i gaive that person.

Culture 's final would be one Wed, i wish i can get an A, so... my finaly result would be A.

then the Human Growth report was sent already... hummmm dotnk now how it would be like,
but i guess we did quite well already. then i wish my overall grade on this sub would be A, too.
a bit greedy, right? not really... coz the students here are quite competitive, hummm
although i might be the younger in them, it doesnt mean i should have the lower score, right?
and then,.... i know i'm lazy, so just wish =P
my quizs result are just not so nice,... so... the best four of six, would be like B or C.
and for the mid-term, it's just fair, like B ? i forgot actually...
so this time really gotta get an A on final. so it means i have to study hard =P
read the whole book in the coming week ! that's due to next Sat, 1st April.
oh, dont worry, i do enjoy this book alot, honestly =)

Research Method, hummmm hang already, presentation was done...
so, no exams, yeah... a bit worried... but i think it would be fine... at least better than last time.
if we could ve longer time, we would definetely better.

fine =)
just now have noodle with my paretns for lunch.
then went to market with mom.
and back, put down stuffs, my bag and book, then we left again.
we walk around and pick up Leggy.
well =) I've bought the ice cream !!! COOKIES'N CREAM and ROCKY ROAD CHO !!!
wow! it's on sale. half price + 10%off from the supermarket !!!
then i also wanna buy the Wall's Mugun... but too much already... hee
yea, my first salary comes already, but i didnt have time to go bank... so yea..
the ice-cream is for my family ^^
and that little present is for my darling =)
then i will buy a gift for Miki later, coz her birthday is coming soon =)

then i also wanna buy clothes from Esprit (why castor loves Esprit so much ?!! so ex !)
and i wanna buy shoses, and that LOVELY NECKLACE from ANS !!! soooooo cute @@ !!!
but that's quite ex... coz it cost $280 hkd.. ermmm almost same as one piece of clothing
i get from Esprit... coz the perfect price is like ... $ 300 hkd +++ it's almost fixed. so, yea...
should i get one more clothese or get a nice necklace ?
sigh...
but the first thing i will do is to CUT OFF MY HAIR !
too long already... and i will perm it. hee.
but then of course, i will go to Esprit soon =P wait for me !

Thanks for Jesus =)

i dont see darling on line, today.
i guess he's at home sleeping like a pig now =P so cute.
hummm i think i just dont have any reasons why i love him so much.
and i have no reasons why i cant quit this relationship, though i know he's really not the best.
i even know if continoues, i would be the one who have to understand more mroe and more.
i know i cant expect anything and cant ask for anything... it's so bad, right...
but i really got no reasons. i really dont know how things would be like...

i just know one thing which i cant say that words out, that's like the destiney.
everytime when i wanna say, my mouth just... dont listen to me.
he gets the luck ? hummmm dont know =P

later mom and me would cook =P
black pepper and coca chicken wings =)

***

>>March 20, 2006 at 10:46:16 AM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 18 日 星期六 【晴】

hummmm....

back to resting life.
i woke up around 1 30 pm, too sleepy....

have lunch, then back to the computer...
hummm who i hate actually is myself.
i hate myself cant be more understadning, i hate myself is just stupid.

hummm well, we have talk...

then i also chat with Ade, and thanks !
then now i'm chating with Alesja and Hak Gon, they're so funny!!!
we're drawing lots of food. hahaha
we're doing the competition !!! Alesja say what she wants, then we draw!
nice... happy =D

i will have the last quiz tomorrow, then... yea...
final is coming on Wed and the next week.

i've got Darling's song... then i also send him a song.
hummm do i love him? why?
this question is just so hard to answer.
and i'm tired that's so true...
but i still love him... just hope someday i wont lost my feelings.
and i hope he's not cheating one me, and he doesnt lie to me.

Jesus, plx...i dontk now what's right or wrong... i just follow my heart,
can you guide me from there?

***

>>March 19, 2006 at 12:08:10 PM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 17 日 星期五 【晴】

Today, gotta wake up... so i woke at 12 pm something...
i didnt want to wake, but mom said... "we ll have lunch soon! wake up~~~"

ai ya~~~ dont wanna wake up..
last night i slept before 11 pm, pretty erly for me.
coz... it's like..... one or many two days of the whole year i would sleep that early.
maybe i'm getting old now, so that's why cant stay for too tired or too busy days.
yea recently i'm quite tired...
dont wanna compare with the past already, but still can say it's the tiring day but enjoyable.
coz that's called life, and i do enjoy going through the process.
just bull shit, anyway.

saw Ade online, i was so happy to chat with her, coz so long havent seen her on line.
it makes me missing her quite lot actually.
of course i miss Cyn and Vicvic so much, too !

then yea, went to meet my groupmates again, for another report, which due to Monday.
well, i've finished my part already! yay ! yay castor !

so, back home eatting egg tart, then rest, watching tv,
then come on line again.

hummmmmm.... really wanna meet Shan(Agnes), one of my best budies..
then also wanna meet Tung, coz he called me for a few times lately =P
i guess we would meet up soon heehee.

then... wana go parties.... but in hk... i dont find any nice to join...
coz i dont think that's part of our culture here... and even though we have, just not that...
"nice" for me. coz... i dont wanna meet some "nice guys", or drinking for whole night.
i can drink, but... dont want too much.

can rest , but i will stdy soon, coz my final-s are coming soon
when i will go back to PCC-pacific coffee company ? hummm soon i guess.

well, i' m happy, coz that night, i was home like 12 am something, then daddy come
to pick me up from the kcr station, then today i'm lucky that hoho he's around,
so i also have a free ride~yea daddy ~~

Ade asked me a question today..
hummm and i ask myself another question..
so... hummm i just dont wanna say anuthing abt that...

***

>>March 18, 2006 at 1:58:47 PM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 16 日 星期四 【晴】

kindda sad day...

coz... i attend to class, morning class...
oh, before class, i take a tall tea at Starbucks...
then hummmm during the break time, i left... coz i need to go to my groupmate's office
to help them finishing the powerpoint.
they really stayed over night, oh gosh... one of mt groupmate cried there...
yea, i went there then try to get things done.
the product is not good... but well, like what i said, coz we dont have time.
why this course is so short?!!! sigh,.... our data re great, but then not enough time to do better.
some groups do well for no doubts, but not us... hahaha...
i still laugh now, coz... hummm finally it's done.

but i got one thin sad to tell, i got criticized by my groupmate again...
she said (she was workig with me last time), she said... castor... you really wrote too much
detials, then it was hard to put into the test. do you argee ? would you do that again?
how about next time we still have group project, then would you still work with us?
last term you made the questionaire too long, and this time actually all of us feeling too detials.
what she's talking is just... gonna upset me.
is that me cant be criticized? i'm not sure... but i really have my points.
i dont mean i'm really right, but not that wrong.

i told her why i write too much, i know you dont like... but i gota do that.
you want the script, i wrote you all the words. you want sumarise, i give you.
you want point form, i make it for you. so what do you ask me o do, i do the right sample for you.
i actually dont feel wrong at all. just make sure everywords are from the subject's mouths.
coz i've read some script 're like "you're reporting by your own mouth", not that subject.
so.... i just pretend getting challenge bascially.
and when you feel too hard to put into the test, you should just massage the data.
so, rubbish words, you dont need to keep, right ?
but then you say it's not respectful... thanks for your respect, but i'm not that stubbon.
you tell me, i understand, i would accept.

well, i e-mialed her, coz i know she felt bad last night.
i e-mailed another her, coz i wanna say out my feelings and perspective.
i e-mailed him, coz i wanna thank him ..
i e-mailed all of them, coz i wanna say sorry. i dont mean to be so ego or harsh.

actually the presetation is not so good... but it's ok...
i wear lgiht blue shirt, skirt(jeans), and that casual high heel shoses, tied up hair,
with a light make up( eyeliner+ mascarra as usual, then plus a bit shimmy pinky eye shadow)
i dont find wrong... it's normal for the presentation, right?!
why i dont put on the more formal dressing? coz no one would in the group.
why i dont just wear causal jeans this and that... coz it's a prsentation ?!
did i ans your question ?

fine~
class ended a bit earlier today, i mean the last class.
then... i'm home now.

tomorrow need another meeting for the report of Human Growth.

finally he didnt contact me back.
***

>>March 17, 2006 at 11:55:07 AM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 15 日 星期三 【晴】

Yesterday:
from friendster

March 16, 2006
Busy.
Hey...

finally back home, now is.... 12 02 am... quite early..

tomorrow is the due date for the research and presentation...
so, i was out with my groupmates today.
they're so nice, coz they let me come home first...
they want me to rest more, then tomorrow i have the early class,
they wont come, only me will attend to class...
then they might stay over night at my groupmate's office, there...
so... tomorrow i would be the least tired one... and hope that would make
the presetation better. coz... they want at least one energenic person in
group to present. >.< i feel so touched~~~
( that girl and me are the high EQ animals, we're still close as before =)
not really that close, but we joke and share one plate of rice together =P
Thanks Bobo. )
yea, i was pretty tired anlynsiing data, and writting, doing lots of translation
lately, and especially today i was doing the anlys. for the whole day..
but then, they 're also very tired.... so they let me go home, i feel so touched.
but i'm worried for them... coz actually time is running out, then the draft is like
too general, although the data re so robust... the point is... i'm a bit worried...
coz... we're not hanging a draft, but a paper.
however, i'm really happy to work with them, coz i learn alot from them,
especially from Edgar.
It would be fine, i guess? coz... the structure is just nice, and the data are
strongly well organized, supportive, robust. We aim to get an A...
would we be able to get that? hope so...

today morning i woke up like 7 am, last night slept around 3 am.
then dad drives miki and leggy to school, then mom was in the car...
thne i also go there with them, coz i want a nice breakfast with my parents
then...yup just drop them off, then we go for breakfast, chinese style one.
then come home imediately starting to finish my report for Human Growth.
and i finish all the anyls. around 10 am... then i rest and wait for the reply
till around 11 am. then i go back to sleep.... too sleepy...
then i got the call from Edgar around 12 15pm, then i woke up and prepare
to go meeting them. yea... that's my day.

wish me luck tomorrow...
presentation would be started from 12 30 - 3 30 pm.
share with you guys later.

***
i will copy this entry to my original diary tomorrow =)
busy line there right now.

March 16, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

>>March 17, 2006 at 11:29:27 AM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 14 日 星期二 【晴】

i guess i shouldnt think of him.

last night i was on line till.... around 2 30 am...
then i took a bath and sleep.

today i woke coz dad's watching tv in the living room so loudly...
i woke around 1 30pm... so late! and i still could sleep... haha...
well, i've done the translation and anaylsis already actually, and i planed to wake up early
like 7 am to send the file to them, but i couldnt wake...
why didnt send last night? coz i wanna reply for yesterday arguement.
at least should tell them how was the situation here. and i really can get jobs done, right...

yea i have other stuffs to do today,
and i've already finished some tasks. so, really nice... altough i dont know how much they
still need to do... sounds like i'm the most free one actually.
yea but i dont care, coz i think they dont trust me so they dont give me much to do?
whatever it is, whatever they give me i will finish on time nicly.
hummm i have someting wanan say but i know it's not the suitable time to tell them...
like... ermmmm actually we should all do our parts, shouldnt get other ppl involved.
we should make our own powerpoint, and about the paper, i really have no sense how
he gonna write it, especially he is just a hell busy person.
so, i'm looking forward to reading the product come out, then i will do some proof read.
i'm bad in gramma, spelling... so... basically they're asking a wrong person to do the right thing.

Thanks List:
hahaha...
God, Augustus, Ade, Queenie, Tung, Agnes(Shan), Junming etc.
hummm i think of a song " 當你孤單你會想起誰"

i feel so warm, coz of Junming... he knows i'm sad...
i've told him what happened, then he said like then you must be very sad and crying.
then i asked him how did he know ?! coz we seldom talk for long already haha he's busy..
and his gf is easy to get jealous... yea... he said, coz i know you well.
yea man... he was my first boyfriend, also my first net friend, first pen friend from sg.
haha... yea if i study in NUS i might live near to Jourong...

Ade was so sweet, coz... dont know how to say.. haha...
i wouldnt like her again, coz i always like her. i like her, really much.
i wish when i'll be in Van again you'll be still there. so we can cook together ! go blading!
buy me the egg tart shell, i make you egg tarts =) and i would like to sit into your class =)
that time was so excited hahaha... would the professor ask my name huh?

Agnes(Shan), hummmm heeheee... finally she comes here to read...
so yea, here you go, dont need me to explain to you, then you already know what happened.
you see, Shan is just so nice... she's always my best girl.

Queenie, lovely to hear from you... though we seldom meet up.
whatever, someting might happen to me, so... i cant and i wont stop it.
hummm what you said re always in my mind... =) thanks..

Tung, your call is so funny actually...
i was inside with my parents, is that why you dont dare come in say hi to me?
hahaha... why you leave so early? i would like to see you , coz long time no see !

Augustus, thanks for sharing with me.
i was happy to chat with you last nigjht.

i'm listening to the songs which all mean alot to me..
these are the taiwanese songs.... whenever i heard of the melody i would tink of Vicvic,
coz... i was at her appartment in my last month in Van.
she likes to play taiwanese songs, so i do listen all the songs... and those are also my fav.
i really miss her alot. just like i'm still so attached by the world over there.
it's like we're all apart from diff world now.
sometimes i would feel lonely without them, Ade, Cyn and Vic...
sometimes i feel like HK is my home, but i dont belong to here.

okay...
i've also told benny about yesterday
( hey, the talkative me's back..... ? tell this one tell that one, nope i'm not always like that)
he just said a few words... " Ignore her lar"
that's what he said. hahaha short huh? that's it.

i'm moving back to school work now, still got something to do...
byebye my dear cas, and my dearest friendssss, i love you all.

***
something i cant tell, coz since i tell you, things would be changed,
relationship would become more blur... it's not good to try.
whoever You, you are..., something i would just put in heart.
Red is Red, Blue is Blue, never would be White.

*

>>March 15, 2006 at 10:52:49 AM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 13 日 星期一 【晴】

Today is realy bad...

i didnt prepare for the quiz again, coz i was too tired...
i had three classes today, right?
i just attened the first one bascially, coz... at the begining of the sec one, i've already quit.

i took a tall tea before the first class, then i took a tall hot dark chocolate during break.
expensive for me... coz i got those from Starbucks.
then yea... i was pretty concentrated in class, a funny class although i didnt laugh as much
as i did normally.
then... after class, i took a break, i didnt take my lunch... i just hang around with my heavy
books and heav bag... then i walked to the sec block located in Ya Ma Tei...
then... i saw my groupmates and teacher. and all the classmates were there.
then.... things happened...

guess what? i got confronted by my groupmate... which really upset me and
i was angry actually. i did explain what's wrong with me lately(not the personal stuffs)
they know nothing about what i found lately... but then i told her about my computer, my network
oh well, that really brings her on fire... then she 's like very angry asking me this and that...
like she did say... castor i put your name on the report, but what did you do?
i saw him him and me doing alot, but where's your part? i cant see... blah blah...
then yea... you said you did alot, then why i cant see. and youk now what the due date was
supposed to be today, but you did nothing... oh my god...
natually i speak in eng( dont ask me why, coz it just comes out, and this's not the first time)
i thik it should be related to culture problems. coz chinese ppl , like me dont like to fight back.
but then i'm not as weak as before, so i do fight back, ok? but my cantonese... sigh...
cant help...

anyway... so... even i told her that how much i did, she would nt satisfied...
and i was pretty upset and angry.
generally speaking that is.... i'm sad and confused by lots of stuffs already...
then it's not my fault to not contribute to repor or research.
the point is i also did something, but i got blocked out from my tools !
and when you're hurry, i'm hurry too!
i'm more upset and hurry than you do... coz... youknow what?
you still can do stuffs to reduce your fear, but i cant do anything for my fear, but i need to
solve the computer problems and network problems at the same time.
and i'm ust that stupid in tech stuffs... so... i dont find any reasons for her having any specail
rights to blame on me. you cant see my efforts that doesnt mean i didnt pay.
and obviously the report structure has been changed but i knew nothing, no one told me.
so what i did is no longer fit the report now. so yea i did nothing coz all has been changed.
funny huh? now who's not in hurry?
i went to work yesterday coz i couldnt change my schedule, and tomorrow work has been
canceled already. you see, you still havent seen anything happned coz it's just not the time yet.
and actually i've done the translation already but i didnt send to you, coz i still wanna do better.
you know what, when thefirst day i found my com got problems that was around mid night
of Sat. then Sunday morning i got waked by Edgar and gotta go for interview (coz the time has
been changed so suddenly) i got no time to prepare. then now you blame me like why didnt you
prepare well... oh... but i did get all points done, and the data are so real, more real than the past
interviews that conducted by you guys. much more information, and this one is like
non structualized and that's actually what Mr.Chan would feel happy for. This interview takes the
longest time, and my scripts are the most detials one. i dont find any serious problem with my interview, honestly. hummm i'm sorry i couldnt make things done a bit earlier,
but it's still not at the last min what. and then... at the sunday afternoon i've already taken my
com to my aunt's home... and my cousin helped me to fix it... it takes two days, ok?
but then at that night, after mid night (monday early morning around 12 something am)
my dad drives me over to HK Island from Tai Po, to borrow my another cousin's lap top.
we arrived home like 3 something. my whole family suffer with me, not only you, ok?
and then my sisters also got urgent works to do with computer, not only me, ok?
no only us in urgent, you get it? how come you say like that to me in front of the whloe class?
actually i've already planed my whole schedule to report and research.
if you know me, you should know i'm a very serious student, never lie never run away.
so, when she blames on me i feel terrible, upset, really. you cant see, but you cant blame on me.
i think it's not the right time to say like this. i've make my plan to do all the stuffs, chasing back time,
so i really dont find my guilt at all, at least not now. and i've apologized and tried to match up, right?
so you really dont make any sense when you almost point at my head.
no owrk for tomorrow, no hang out with my best friend even tough my heart is bleeding right now,
isnt that enough to show how much i'm doing now? huh?
that's so unfair and shamed.

well, my dearest friend could see my "crying entry" of today in friendster.
the one you're reading now is more calm.

Ade, i really appricate your e-mail... i didnt smile but i cry louder.. haha...
but i really love your e-mail... coz i'm happy, really.
you know, i miss you, really... i was also thinking of you after hang up.
and thanks for all of my friends, even Junming and Rami come to say something to me,
wow, i'm supprised. then Alesja also, Ade yea, Shan(Agnes) YUP!
hummmmmmm
i've a little chat with darling... i ve told him about my bad days lately, but not that part of speaking,
i mean... something he shouldnt know, which is like this and that, in detials.
he's too busy, so shouldnt bother him...

thanks for Jesus, but plx... i need you, my God.
***

>>March 14, 2006 at 3:20:28 PM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 12 日 星期日 【晴】

Castor's back already...
hummmm i'm currently at my work place. i'm taking a break.

hummm something happened badly here with me few days ago, so i kept locked out from net.
it made me so many inconvenience, coz i couldnt do my work, school work.
i got so uch things to do now... sigh...

then...
what i wanna say is...
i got soe news, kindda bad news from my friend, and that's related to me.
so......... after that 5 CASES sad entry, here we have another one new case.
but the point is i dont know how to share with everyone here.
oh well.... this time is personal enough i guess.

Ade, Agnes have already known by last mid night around 2 am and by today early morning
around 7 somthing am today...
i talk with Agnes(SHan) last night when i got the news...
then i called Ade today on the way to work .... well i feel really bad.

later, after work i wish i can take a couple hrs to meet my best friend, Shan first,
then i would go home to finish my work, i mean my school work.
i really got tonz to do so, NOT KIDDING.

but, i feel damn bad so i couldnt work i guess.
i was like.... sleeping around 4, then waked at 5 am.
coz today duty is from 7 30- 5 30.

today morning, before i left home, i got speaken to my mom so loudly,
coz i waked up first, earliest... then i was ready to go, and she asked me so many ques,
like... outside is so cold today, only 9 c, you wear that thin jacket, enough?!
dont be silly blah blah blah...
then i felt damn bad actually, coz... i was quite sad, then i was busy making breakfast,
stuffs to go, then.... yea, finally i just yell at her, said... can you stop talking plx?
i didnt say i would just wear this thin jacket ! then mom said... ok.... i thought blah blah blah,,
yea... i knwo you do wanna take care of me,
but sometimes i just want a peaceful morning start, especially in this situation.
recently i gotta accept i've been cheated by so many times with lots of ppl,(for me)
so i do feel bad actually, then last night i got that news...
i was pretty calm, but so? it doesnt mean i dont feel hurt.

really wanna kill these all matters, coz it's been .... influencing me so much, really...
so, i really do pray for what to do... oh man i should stop...
otehrwise i cry again...
i do cry, coz i feel bad.

if anyone here concern on me plx pray for me.
i would do appricate your concerns... coz... i just need it, man...
i want a warm hug, a warm hug, who can share me?
erhhh.... no one, right? i guess so..

it's time to get back to work i guess.... what time now?
12 30... k..... i really miss the happy time, the lonely time.

GET BACK HERE LATER.
***

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

now is ... 8 11pmsigh.... part B

back to home,
finally didnt meet Shan, coz i think she need to rest and prepare for her work, too.
she's super busy now, just like me.... so... dont wanna bother her.
she need time to rest and be with Choi.... so... yea... we're different. dont wanna bother her.
hummmmm i really wanna chat with her, see her today, coz i really need my friends now...
but... for her, i dont wanna spend her too much time.

then i've called back Ade, coz... you know... i really desire talking actually...
but i know she need to sleep... so dont wanna keep talking to her...

sigh... today, i feel like... it's really hard to get a nice friend around...
Jackie is in Tai Wan now, Alesja is in Germany, Korean friends re in Korea...
Angeline is also in Singapore... Ade, Cyn and Vic are in Singapore and Vancouver...

so,.... when i cry, i can only go back to Jesus...
coz.... i dont find anyone who can give me a hug.
isnt it sad? i dont know...
cas, you ask yourself..... when everyone ask you to... then you say no...
and now... you just keep bothering your friends, and hurting them.

my part-time job is like the tech. work, doesnt require lots of space of my brain...
so.... today i just keep doing my tech work, and while i was thinking...
but when i was in McDonald's, i'd never be able to do two things at one moment.
would you just focus on your school work later?

i'm chatting with Alesja now... how sweet that at least i have one to chat with,
coz i just need someone, just a need... i feel so hard... so tough...
hummm i change my nick name in MSN, " Black Rocky Road Cho is not liek the SunShine."

sad, really sad..
=:::<
***

>>March 13, 2006 at 12:12:22 PM GMT+8