2006 年 3 月 9 日 星期四 【晴】

The very verbal animal, Female.

hummmm
i'm quite moody today... but some kindda like... coz i'm moody then i make myself happy.
i try really hard to make myself happy. i just dont want ppl know about my =C face.
hummmmmmmm someting happened around me was all sad and let say...
they're all the troubles in my happy life.
well... they're not my business but affecting me alot.
coz........I BECOME THE ONE WHICH GUYS WOULD LIKE TO LIE TO.
why i say so? read through what happened lately around.
all make me feel like... ppl like lie to me.

today i have morning class as usual, i had so many tea today...
i have morning tea, then break timei went to Starbucks to get another tall tea.
guess what? my last quiz, i got 9.5/ 10, pretty nice scores.... and today class is just...
SUPPER FUNNY man... Mark Greene is sooooo funny !
and we're getting into "The Early Adulthood" topic finally.... nice...
talking behaviors, relationships, intamacy v.s. isolation... i'm just good at the Adolescent and
Early Adulthood Topics... well.... i'm very sensitive on these.
then... lunch i got a humberger from McDonald's...
then i got the afternoon class, and pretty long group disscussion for the research.
and then as nomral that i need to attend to the third class,
and which is always about blacks and whites history in America.

but then.... i finally quit the class, coz... i couldnt concentrate or... stay happy in class
anymore, so... i leave earlier then... call Shan, my best friend.... coz... i need to ....
take a break for the hurting heart.
i'm sorry that i didnt call Queenie, coz... i just want someone closest to hang around.

hummmmm
case one:
i found out something i m not supposed to know about in any relationships.
the men tend to lie, coz they dont want felmale to suspect on them.
coz since they admit they lie, Felmale no longer can 100% let go and forgive.
examples? come ask me secertly, i could give you tonz... from personal experience.
hummmm...... and some guys... when you supspect on them... they would get angry at you,
even thought they do know women is really senstive that could sense the truth so easily.
what i mean is..... obviously there's something wrong, but they wouldnt admit and they would
even get angry just coz you dot believe in them. why? coz... they cant explain what happning
at all... why? you do know why.
they dont like telling all the truth, why? coz female is too smart.
since they know everything about the guy, they would know how to control the guy.
and guy... prevents that happen. and i wanna say... guys dont understand women so much.
TAKES NOTES HERE NOW:
SOME WOMEN DONT MEAN TO INVADE GUYS'S PERSONAL SPACE.
AND SINCE YOU LIE, WOMAN WOULD TAKE ACTION, BECOME MORE SENSITIVE.
IF YOU'VE NOTHING NEED TO HIDE ABOUT, JUST DONT ACT LIKE YOU HAVE.
AND FOR THOSE WOMAN , WHO LOVE CONTROLING MAN. YOU'RE THE MOST STUPID
WOMAN IN THIS WORLD.
anyway.... can you just... be honest and sincere to me, huh?!

case two:
You, dont need to lie to me, coz i 've got the evidence that you're lying,
but i know you wouldnt admit, and you finally dont explain for that, coz....
that's pretty obvious that you're a liar.
why you try to cheat on me? you sounds such an idiot. who is that? my friend.
i do feel embarassed and sad, i feel like i'm set up by you.
you're not fooling on me, but you're fooling on her, your girlfriend.
and you do hurt me coz i treat you so honestly, but you just cheat on me and her,
and you totally destroy our friendship and break down my trust on you.
and eventually if she find out about the real story, she probably would be pretty sad.
you should be happy that i didnt talk to her about what you say to me.

Case Three:
my new friend, a guy was cheated by her so called girlfriend.
that girl has a boyfriend, but she didnt tell my friend.
my friend date with her almost everyday, and 98% what couples do, they do so.
then finally find out... my friend is just the third party. what the ?
if she really want to break up with her boyfriend, plx just do it before getting into another
relationship with another man. and now, sounds like.... my friend with her is almost a year.
then now turns out... is... my friend got really supprised by her.

case Four:
i got noticed that... one of "my new friend" around me... is lying to her girlfriend.
which she was pretty honest gossiping with her workmate that...
she quited smoking that's not true... her girl found that, but she denied, said lots of nice words.
and she was happy and seems so clever that she could make a lie to her girl.
when i hear what she said... i just glanced at her. she was smiling quite sweet...
what is she thinking about? and i continoued listening to their conversation,
coz the cafe is very quiet, especially at the cashier. they talk about.... that girl...
hummmm the girl works for another store, and she seems doesnt know anything...
i mean... "my friend" said like...
i do this i do that..., and from what she said, her attitude was shown quite obviously,
by her words, tones and facial espression. hee... guess what?
i think.... =.= maybe they find the fun, but i dont think it is.

case Five:
here i have another new friend again,
well..... one day, my friend told me quite indirectly that he doesnt have a girlfriend....
then.. yea... he tried to date me out for whatever reasons.
but then i was really too busy and no time for any hang out.
okay... when i have time, i try to meet him, and coz of his bday lately..... you guess what?
i found that he has a girlfriend..... hummmm....
i dont know if i'm too sentivie that... i feel kindda weird when.... catching the eye contacts.

hummmmm..... feel like...
i'm.... just so stupid to...... get cheated by ppl, especially guys.
you see? FOUR cases have been related to hiding up... for whatever reasons !!!
and all that just happened in this few days. what can i say huh?
probably all the guys around is lying to me also.
who can be trusted who cant?

okay....
i just want to take a break from all of the ppl.

and tell ya here, i ve got a task list to do in the coming days, start from tomorrow.
i would be pretty busy.
tomorrow would be busy for school work, sunday would be busy for interviews and record,
then monday have work, tue have class, then one project and the research plus presentation
are all due to Thursday. Friday and Sat and the coming daysss have to stay in the study mood,
coz i would have two final exams pretty soon. and i aim to get two A for both subs.
so.... what i mean is... i would stop or reduce my part-time hrs to make myself concentrate on
mt books and notes. hummmmm if you're my friends.... when i call you, plx take my calls,
coz when i call you... means.... i really need you then.
otehrwise i wouldnt call anyone.

plx...... pray for me...
i've felt enough hurt.... so... if you come along just coz you want someone to fool ard with,
so,.....dont come plx... i wouldnt want to..... be cheated.
i'm just a simple girl, who is brave to live, who is sincere to be with you whenever you need
me. but if you're not willling to be honest with me. stay away.
whoever you are, i'm stupid but i dont deserve the stupid jokes.

well, i had a nice start in the morning with my family.
had nice breakfast, healthy breakfast, then daddy drive us to the right places
for me is the bust stop(coach) hummm right there in front of the front gate of Serenity Park.
yea.... you see, i'm just from a simple world, why cant you be simple to me, too?

Jesus, i dont want to .... yea...
plx prtect me and teach me what to do.
thanks for Shan to be wth me tonight at Pacific Coffe for a few hours,
we had the really great time there, having Cookie'n Cream Chillino and Rocky Brownie.
well... you're really my great buddy, and Jackie is not here... i miss her so much.
Jackie is just my another best friend. since she left , and back to TaiWan College,
i felt quite lonely without her... we used to be around, always.
Alesja and Kiana, i know if you were here, you girls would just be with me anytime.
Ade, Cyn and Vic, if you're in HK, i probablly wanna hug you and tell you how sad i feel.
Hak Gon, Jason, Dong Eon, Pil, susumu, Mihyeon, Suhyan, where re you guys?
Queenie, i dont dare to talk with you, coz... i'm so.... yea..
Tung, i cant tell you much coz... you're too busy to listen me i guess.

and finally for the specail you... if i mean someting to you, i guess you would be reading this
entry today. or let say... you would know how i feel.... for the distracting, i ve nothing to say
anymore. lucky you would find the clues, otherwise i think sooner or later we would be over.
coz... i really cant stay alone in this relationship, that you should know the very detials.
whenever i need you, you would just do your stuffs, you dont even notice me.
whenever you need me or not, i wont know. and i do try to understand you and reasons belong.
but you can see even though you understand me, you would just take me for... granted.
take a few mins blank to think of what i say.
if you're not here, i'm just talking to myself.
***

>>March 10, 2006 at 5:23:09 PM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 8 日 星期三 【晴】

2006 年 3 月 7 日 星期二 【晴】

i'm very very tired....., getting headache too...
sigh....

not many tough works to do in store, not very busy coz we have lots of staffs today...
but then.... wht i'm so tired huh?

i learn something new today, happy... nice...
but i start to think.... if i should ocntinoue my job, coz it's really tough, and...
my motivation is not as strong as before.
oh my god... i would be happy working as the ababssdor in McDonlad's although it's a really
busy and less paid work... it could kill me also... but at least i enjoy it , right?
i would feel happy.... i could work with the team, playing with childern, i could do...lots...
but here... i'm a educated, ok? i'm a bach. student... but i need to... do whatever i dont like...
i dont mean i hate housework, but... the store.... that' not my home...
and i couldnt imagine that how dirty actually the cafe is.
i'd never done so much of "cleaning stuffs" before at home... coz... just dont need to do...
but here, i gotta do this and that for.... sigh....
washing, cleaning window, cleaning tables, cleaning the floor, sweeping, empty the bins...
tidy up stuffs, refilling products, somehow i ve to clean the toliet if it's too dirty...
lots and lots.... i'm like the maid... MAID...
and the work is just.... like.... repeating and repeating... how could that be ?
well it's a cafe what.... and my job is... to.... serve and learn...
i'm the skill-least person in store... so.......................... i just got to listen and obey.
that's fine for me, coz i do listen and obey to anyone there... they're not the evil monsters...
they're nice to me, too.... but i just feel so tough to take this job.
i 'm learning everyday and i wish i wont give up so easlily.

i got a stupid experience yesterday lunch at McDonald's...
it's been really long havent eaten FlietO Fish meal since i'm back... coz when i eat i would miss
Canada so much... then yesterday i got a quiz right? i wanna buy myself a nice meal...
but thee were some troubles, which pissed me off... but i was still fine...
so... if you're interested, ask me... otherwise close file.

today on the way home, at the KCR station.... the stupid kid was really rude.
i just stared at him... coz... he rushed in to the line and he kept moving around...
he struck against me 3 times in 5 mins... and no body saying any words !!!
they're so stupid... they dont stand for their rights...
the stupid kid obviously was absolutely wrong! he need to line up !
everyone knows that at the Tsim Sha Tsui Station, if you're not in the front of the line,
you wouldnt be able to get a seat. and that kid stand right there taking away your seat...
whatever you like, if i cant have my seat even though i'm the first one to the line,
i would just confront that kid.... i wanna do that, too... but when i look at all of you,
you dont feel anyting wrong, oh... neverind... you dont fight for yourself, who else?

that kid, not actually a kid.,... i guess he's around 13 y.o.... that kid look at me...
i just stared at him. i dont mean to be harsh on ppl, but you look... that's what going on in HK.
letting a kid to do whatever he wants. damn it.... I WONT agree with it.

getting headache now... i guess i need to rest...
tomorrow i would stay a day off, so.... yea... i would rest at home and might meet my friends
or whatevr just go relax.

i miss my darling so much,... but my darling is really busy....
sigh...
i really miss him alot... i guess i miss him too much... haha... dont know...
" sometimes love is protection, sometimes it hurts like hell-o"
that's what Ashlee Simpson's singing in her album. haha...


thanks god to make me think more...
coz... i dont just fight for my right ot judjusting on ppl, but.... the more i mean is.....
the value of.... fair... why ppl take aways other ppl's rights?
anyway, thanks for Jesus bring me a nice day today.
everyday is a nice day, coz i could experience more and more...
i'm happy with that.
May God bless everyone.

***

>>March 8, 2006 at 12:39:34 PM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 6 日 星期一 【晴】

2006 年 3 月 5 日 星期日 【晴】

hummmmm something happened last night...

i need to work today, thanks for my new shoses, i feel less pain today.
actually thanks for my parents, coz they paied some for me hee.

erhmmmm got a new staff, but then she worked at another cafe before, so she has no problems
on work, and actually i'm still the least-skilled one..... so i stil need to practice how to wash,
clean and.... do some simple stuffs... tired, but much better than the last few day-work.
coz less pain.. and we talk more now, so... not as boring as before.

hummm i didnt study alot finally, coz my brain was full of rubbish...
i couldnt concentrate, but making myself more nervous... so... i decided to lay on my bed
and reading some comics, "THe Detective Conan", a Japnese comic recommemed by my sisters.
wow, really nice huh, but not much time reading alot then feel like to sleep.
but i think i slept around 3 am.

today morning, i walk to the KCR station, then... i saw a dead cat lying on the side walk,
i was a bit shocked,... coz... the "Bird Flu" could cause death...so we re all pretty senstitive to
birds, cats, chickens, whatever animals now... especially the dead one.
so... in the coming fw days, i must pay attention to my body condition,
coz..... if i'm that unlucky, i might get that "Bird Flu", you know...
take care everyone.

hummmm,.... today in store, i got something interesting to share, but i'm sooo tired now,
maybe we could chat another day, just give me a call anytime, man =) hee
as long as i remember, i would share with you guys.

Happy Birthday to Queenie, Micheal!
hummmm so many ppl was born in March...
few days later got Cyn and Rami ! and then later got some more friends !!!
sorry that couldnt stay with Queenie and Shan tonight....
coz i'm really tired and i still need to prepare for my quiz tomorrow...

miss him alot...
but i start to think of the ponit which...

2006 年 3 月 4 日 星期六 【晴】

i got so many dreams last nigh!!!!!
good or not? dont bother me about that... i all forgot...
but... that were pretty real....
and mostly i dreamt of Benny... why?!!!!! aiya.... dont know...

hummm today wake like lunch time,
then come and check e-mails, got a few e-mails from Mark Greene...
erhhh... i know i know.... you're trying to ask us to study, right?!
yea i got it and i would.... haha...

then have lunch after helping aunt Pricilla checking out flight stuffs.
yea... Shang Hai and Vancouver fligh... i dont really know actually... then check from net.

hummm after lunch, come sitting here doing the record for the interviews.
long inerviews then typing in chinese.... sucks... my chinese typing sucks...
hummm just finished.... gonna read my nice book!!! DEAR HUMAN GROWTH...
i really love this sub, but really got no time no energy on it... how guilty i'm... =(
everytime wanna study for the quizs then i'm so tired already...
this time really gotta pay attentions.... otherwise would not be able to compete with my
classmates... at least i wanna get 90/100 of the total course, so that i can get an A ^^ hee.
i really love this sub, but... yea.....

parents re out now, they go dating, haha nope... i mean.... they go supermarket together.
and then they would help me to get my shoses, i bought the new shoses,
coz the old one, cheap one(hk $80) really make my foot so hurt and pain(some of you know)
then i decided to buy the new one.... this one is on sale!, like $200 after 60% off( i guess)
=P then look quite nice, and actually not just for working,
i could wear it as the casual use heehee ^^ yea last time they dont have my size...
today they have =P so mom and dad help me to take them home^^
then the old on can..... yea... quite stylish actually, so can wear it to school whatever.
mom asked me to wear the old one when raining... yea ?

hummmm tired now...
bu i do sleep alot in the last two nights...
so... i'm okay, and looking forward for the readings!!!! =P i love my book!
then.... tomorrow need to work. erh....... tough lor... but fine...

i know Benny 's really busy... and last night didnt get enough sleep...
sigh.... i wish i could be there to take care of him, not right now, i'm in HK now.
hummmmmmmmm i hope he would be fine...
i hope he would enjoy his life, and someday just tell me he's happy =)
as Hak Gon said to me... Castor, i hope oneday when i ask you how're you,
then you would tell me you're happy, i want you to be happy.

last night got a little audio chat with Alesja, nice!!!
miss her alot alot... she added Benny... oh......
coz last time we were discussing something about the emotion icon, then we mentioned that
Benny also got one, then... yea eventually she added him =) hahaha
secert huh, Alesja!

just now i got a new net frined ! hummm just wish him all the best ...
wish him happy though.

thanks for Jesus.... i hope... the ppl ard me would be happy...
i wish You would guide me what i should do and what i shouldnt do...
please tell me... please guide me to walk in your way.

***

>>March 5, 2006 at 10:48:55 AM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 3 日 星期五 【晴】

hummmmmmmmmmmm..

slept till 11 am...
then.... just........ rest and have lunch,
then rest and went to grnadpa's home.
have dinner outside with some aunts also...
now is back.

hummm aunt asked again... but this time she asked mom...
castor has a boyfriend now? is she in relationship now?
mom said.... nope... she got lots of friends but not in relationship, still early for her.
shit.... actually my parents and aunts DONT (EXCEPT aunt Pricilla, aunt Dabbie, from Vancouver)
know about my relationship with Benny.... then i think one of my cousins, whch's also my
dear friend, Sheila, she knows... then... my friends do know, and some of my classmates
know... yea... i think that's enough, right?

then today Queenie talk to me in MSN,
she shared some thing with me... like... she met a customer, who'll be a bride soon...
then the woman showed queenie a picture with her husband... then her husband is
western.... means.... they're from diff places. then... Queenie asked her where did
they know each otehrs... the woman said... okay you guys make a guess,
coz that's wat Queenie asked me to do today ! haha...
i dont wanna guess.... i ust say.... work? traveling? or...from friends?
nope... actually i got the ans at the frist second , but dont want to say that out.
yup, they met from internet, ICQ.
oh dear..... i dont know what to say, except Congrudations ! right???
hummmm

few days ago, i met a new frined, Leo.. a net friend bascialy, he's from Vancouver...
then... we just met for one day, he said he like me. oh... i dont really believe him at all,
but i do chat with him, coz... just make a friend, right? and he messaged me from friendster.
anyway.... today i logged in frinedtr and read his profile, i got something... i mean, i've seen
something, the evidence of his mis-behavior, as in CHEATING.
he got a girlfriend, which's from Japan. i ve no ideas why he would wan to have a girlfriend
in hk, although he said he would come back hk soon.

well.... this guy is not my friend anymore, though i dont mean to block him.
he's just doing something i dont wannt know and i dont want to hear about.
okay, i dont hate him, i m not angry at him, but just wanna say...
ppl, dont do that, coz... it could be very disgusting one.... and...

oh well, just now.... Leo message me again, and he said... she's not his girlfriend,
and he waked up earlier just coz he wanna message me.
hummmm i dont wanna know, coz... it's not my business anymore.
i still treat him as my friend... if he wants to explain, he could... but he said he would
leave me alone then... alright.

i miss my darling Benny.
saw him on line just now for a few mins... i think he's at somewhere but busy working..
hummm miss him so much lately... why?

***

>>March 4, 2006 at 4:11:29 PM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 2 日 星期四 【晴】

Sigh....

what a nice day start, but tired ending...
i have a nice sunnday today whech i'm happy for... coz so long havent seen the sun =)
then... i didnt buy coffee, i get couple of tea... nicer than too much cath.
hummmm i have the morning class... quite funny class... enjoy lots actually...
but too much reading would kill me, simply.
hummm my quiz is just barly passed.... which make me feel so.... bad and stupid.
coz i'd never studied of it... then come out like... -8 of 16.
still laugh it out huh? crazy castor...

then... lunch...? no lunch at all...
just get a boiled egg from morning, then buy some sweet soup... cant finish them.
hummm take the sec class...
sigh... i know what should i do... just... need to do lot of recording and typing...
the difficult things is... typing chinese is not as easy as the past... i forgot some rules.
then.... yea... take a long break... then waiting for the last class.

the last class was really boring sometimes... i did join the discussion...
hummmmmmmm i copy lots of notes... then had some nice discussion in class...
enjoy alot although i'm really tired... my brain doesnt really work.... seems like... telling me
my brain need to breath or rest.
i got my mid-term back already... guess what? i got a B...
without studying got a B... i should be happy, right? HELL NO...
I'm NOT HAPPY... this is really sucks for me...
we had four essay questions... only the first one i almost hit the full marks.
then the second and third question is like... 21/25 and 20++/25... then the last question...
i forgot about the scores, but i dont think it's nice... anyway, i got a B.

last term, the Evaluating Behavior Research result is back...
we got a B....... sigh....... 1/2 got A, 1/2 got B..... i know Mr. Chan is so kind already...
coz bascially we could be fail,.... then he still marks us as B grade... really thanks him alot.

really tired...
now sitting at here, really dontk now what's going on ...
hummm about the culture questions........ i cant tell you what's happening in hk.
coz... i know here we do have lots of minority groups, like elder groups... but... for racial,
i really dont ve any ideas... hummm..... about............. ways to redue prejudice.....
hummmmmm how to say... i tink Rami is really right... need to start form the grass root level.
edcuate those educators... haha... right?

really tired...
miss him lots...
today was chatting in class before the culture class started... Wesley asked me a question.
he asked me if i ve a boyfriend now. i said yes... for how long? humm 1.5 years already.
but then of course i didnt get in detials with him... why? what for ?
today my dear group mate Edgar gives me a book as a gift. Thanks alot !
hummm that book is about "love & relationship" topic.... hummm he said... i should read.
actually they say... it's my birthday gift lor hahaha... so... Bobo and Yedda are gonna
pay the book also... they say i'm too navie to believe the relationship i hold on now...
then they want me to read the book and learn to protect myself...
wah hai... this kind of issue again... i think sooner or later i would escape form it...
coz... just too much pressure from my peers, or... that's just too much for me..
i think... i should just listen all the advice, and think through all, but not in hurry.
otherwise i would become crazy...

darling Benny 's online now... he's busy...

i'm gonna take a break tomorrow... but i need to do lots of reading and... stuffs for research.
***

>>March 3, 2006 at 12:35:17 PM GMT+8

2006 年 3 月 1 日 星期三 【晴】

today...

can rest alot...
coz i'm free today... wake up late 12:30 pm
then have lunch with mom and grandpa(gonggong)...
then we go to bank and walk around... hee

pick up leggy, then walk home...
start to type the record from Yedda....
and chatting with Hak Gon and Leo...
hummmm Hak Gon is so funny... haha.... Leo is my new friend hummmm
we use webcam today.... erhmmmm... funny that i just know Leo for a few days...
then something has happened already... .. .
i dont know what to answer when he asked me some"important questions".

firstly, castor should ask yourself....
well... how much you still can pay for, castor?
how much you still can, castor?
how long you still can stand along.... like.....
how much you still have...

when situation come.... how should you handle it this time, castor?
you've made so much stories already... do you still want more or you should stop?
i dont know...

there's someone behind, there're so much stories behind.
how can you be so free to be bothered?
yes, you're young... but then after a few years, you no longer be young.
then there'd be no stories coming along. have you thought of it?
but so? does that mean i should give it a try?
there's nothing much funny to get a try.

if i could just put all the stuffs aside... i would just do it.

dont see Benny on line today...
how's he doing?
if i could choose, i would rather have Benny beside, but no more other guys.
but the world is like to tell me that... nope...
Benny is not here, but you got other guys around you.
Benny is the most in the world, but you cant find happiness at this moment.
you find happiness only before sadness.
but when you're sad, you would make other ppl sad. when you're happy, you might make some
ppl sad or puzzled.
so, should i be happy or should i be sad?
now i'm not happy... coz... Benny is not happy.
somehow i hope... that my smiles or happiness could bring ppl happiness... especially for him.
The fact is... couldnt be so true...

Benny said... he also wants happy... i know he's not happy.
what can i do to make him happy? i just want him to be happy.
i love him.
***

>>March 2, 2006 at 4:19:53 PM GMT+8

2006 年 2 月 28 日 星期二 【晴】

wah...

we were arguing...
hummmmmm till quite late...
then finally i wave my white flag...
why? ... .. . coz i dont want to make him feel sad...........
i dont wanna see him angry and dont wanna see both of us suffering..
the important reason is... coz i just dont want to argue with him...
dont wanna hurt our relationship... i just love him.... dont wanna hurt him..

last night i slept like 2+++++ before 3 am,
then waked around 6 20am...
then had a nice breakfast... then go ot work...
but you know what... i found my outopus's not in my bag... and i got no extra money...
i didnt take money and i forgot to bring my outopus...
so... you guess what happned? i called mom and then dad drives sisters to school, right...
then i just ask them to send me my card first.. stupid me standing in the wind wiating for the
little bread car car.

yea... then finally i was late to work... late around 15 mins.
then today i was very tired.... really... but try to.. accept that 's a must to stand, walk and wash.
hummm my hands are so dry ... and my legs and foots are pain.
i start to understand what is going on in the store... then i do my part.....
and i really hope to.... be able to make all the nice coffee someday...
so many things happened today... but i'm too lazy too tired to type...

today i couldnt really concentrate... coz i know last night i got him so mad at me...
the first time i feel he was exhausted from arguing with me... he kept silence...
i was so scared... i mean.... i know he was really feeling bad...
i doubt on him, i tought he was cheating on me...
i dont have any answer in my head now, but i just dont wanna argue with him.

i also know if i comfort him, say sorry, then all of my friends would say... castor...you're just
too stupid... how can you do that huh? hummm but i did that...
coz ... i dont wanna fight with him. and i'm quite worried for him...
i just dont wanna let him sad... or make him unhappy...

my head is so messy now...

i got chatting with darling during my lunch break today...
i use the computer in store, which are supposed to be researved for guests hahaha...
yea... i was there opening the web messanger. just wanna make sure if he's okay or not...
coz i 'm really worried for him.

you see the entry of today is really messy...

i got chatted with a new net frined from friendster, who's in Vancouver now...
then i got chatting with my dearest friend, Hak Gon... nice...
then i got... whatever... i need to sleep =.=

and i miss my darling soooo much...
i dontk now if we're the wrong couple or whatever... i just need to sleep now...
i wanna firgure out lots of questions in my head... but i know it's not good to stand for my
own points, coz i'm might hurt him alot... yea... i just dont wanna hurt him...
i want him to be happy... i love him...

Jesus... am i right?

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>>March 1, 2006 at 2:53:37 PM GMT+8