today is very busy.. and my brain is still in 56k...
last night... i was chatting with mom. eventually i told her about my break up with Benny.
hummm it's been a month ago... and... finally i picked up this topic with mom last night.
i wanna let her know what had happened between us, so... yea... she knows now..
and i feel much better.
coz.. i just... care alot my family..... i was very serious with Benny, so i let them know..
i let mom and my sister, Miki know.. and then i'm not sure if my dad knows and if my youngest sister,
Leggy knows. hummmmmmmm so... you know how much serious i was with him.
coz in high school, i had quite much romance stories ahahha but i'd never told mom..
coz i was young, i was serious though but then yea too young..
now.. i'm more mature, then i think i could handle well. and i did, at least that's how i feel..
i feel sncere and honest to myself... guilty but... brave and decisive.. yea... coz i was too mad..
but i ve been considering alots and observing myself and him... yea... very hard decision.
very guilty but now i'm better off i guess? ha..
anyway..... i'm sorry to my dear someone.. aiya... i dont mean to forget that and stuffs..
today, i woke up at 7 am then watching tv hahaha so silly cartoon...
then i back to sleep... couldnt sleep well last night.. i think i just slept for a few hrs only.
then woke up and go out meeting Vicvic ! hahahahaha so long havent seen her !!
i miss her .. always.. coz she's one of my close friends=P and i'd never forgotten the days
we were in Van together cooking, eating, shopping, hanging out, playing chatting and crying!!!
miss all of them =)
we stayed at ... Mc Cafe haha... at Tsim Sha Tsui..
that was in the BLACK storming warning signal.... then...... i was so late...
coz... outside just like pouring... so i could stpe out...
then finally daddy drives me hahaha.. THANKS for my SWEET DADDY ~!
humm Vic and me were there for so long hahaha.. we talk on everything ! that's called close friends;)
then... ye i will see her again in July ...
hee looking forward to seeing her soon! coz i know i would miss her lots!
then back to work and keep busy... sigh my stupid brain.... then i got a small talk with boss.
he told me his plan and he assigned me the projects. damn... so close to the dead line now..
i wonder how i gonna make it. i really need helpers... sigh.... i feel stress now..
coz.. basicly, i would become a leader.. and later, when i get back to school.. i wonder if i still could
be working as a leader in the team? i dont think i could ?
after work, i'm really tired out already... *YAWN +ing*
hummm and then i would got some sweet guests coming in the coming weeks..
so actually i was planing to take holidays.. but seems like impossible.
i might ask a key from boss, then work in the early morning at office till noon then meet my guests.
i think i would be really tired tired and tired... and busy. unless i could find a very nice helper?
and i let her understand all the steps and jobs before i take my holidays? i dont think i would have
this chance. i asked my boss if i could take the files home and do at home.. he said.. better not.
hummmm i understand... that means... i should be at office then... sigh.. a bit stress.
later, i would be dealing with much more than just adminstration... i would deal with marketing and
some other side jobs.. hummm so this very little small but rush project would be very essential to me.
coz... this's the first and the strongest prove to the ppl above to trust on me, count on me..
i need all those credits if i wanna get more freedom at work.
but the key is the time, coz i need time to be with my dearest guests.
my boss was honest to me. he told me.. he knew what my dream job is, he knows me wanna go for
hospitality. then now he's trying to distract me from that way and come help his company.
he's gonna expand the business... oh those locations are the business secert..
he let me do the adminstration work first but then later he would just authorize me to... you know..
take care of the center, run it well. i feel like all is like so lucky stuffs... i mean...
i'm not so sure about how much i could do... but i'd like to try.
not that really good pay... so i take it not as my job but just kindda like... learning, taking experience.
anyway... you know i dont like this much...
alright...
monday is my birthday... wishing myself a happy day ahead..
i know that would be quite lonely... coz.... yea... no friends would stay with me and then..
no parties... sigh.... wish that i could be in Van at least could enjoy the romantic view in downtown
by myself.
tired... very tired... tomorrow i will go work..
night night cas..
***
cheers*
go yahoo album...
>>June 9, 2006 at 3:20:21 PM GMT+8
2006 年 6 月 7 日 星期三 【晴】
hello...
hummmmmm not so good at mood..
anyway.. work today..
my brain is the 56k today.... providing limited service... damn...
ok... when i was working i ve to be very concentrated, otherwise i make mistakes.
and i did make quite some mistakes.. i hate that =.=
the medicine still working on me... big effect.
ok... i got a call, i miss that voice so much... and i'm happy =) hee.
then...oh yea! i bought chocolate buscuts to office today...
and then a few pieces of Jap rad been green tea soft cookies... just for keeping myself awake...
sigh...........................
okay...
i took taxi from the KCR station coz i'm really tired and it' raining ....
and i got a call from Vicvic!!! yeah! she's in HK now! finally i would see her tomorrow !!!
=D nice. and then... i will meet her at Tsim Sha Tsui tomorrow ard 10 am.
yea... call got hanged coz i had to get off the car.. and then we talk again while i'm home.
i'm so sorry... i missed a call i guess, while we're talking on phone..
then.. i got the second call, but i dont know why i couldnt shift in... =S strange..
and i heard some big noise... i dontk now what the heck it that, so... i gave up..
i wonder who's calling me..
then Vicvic told me she heard someone said Hello... that's a guy...
then i wonder who's that? my hk friends' never speak in Eng to me.. =S...
except one person, and basicly he's not a hk-er. he's my classmate and workmate, Rami.
plz call again if you really mean to call...
so i didnt mesg to my dear someone or anyone to ask... who was calling me even though i did wanna
do that.
hummm i texted, then deleted, totally 3 times...
anyway... i dont know who's that and i dont wanna guess..
coz i dont wanna get disappionted.. so yea....
hummmmmm............
night night Cas...
by the way, eventually i texted =)
cheers*
go yahoo album...
>>June 8, 2006 at 3:46:45 PM GMT+8
2006 年 6 月 6 日 星期二 【晴】
hummmmm
last night i cried .. sigh... too much sad things ve been happening since i'm back.
feels like it had never stopped.
i watched the movie till 3 30 then i went to bed...
i texted to someone.... it's a really long mesg. then got the reply.. anyway.. it's ok... it'll be fine.
i cried.. coz... i guess i got hurt from my working place.. sigh... Cas, can you stay strong huh???
dont know..
today i take the sick leave... after medicine i'm like the stone, like the blunt..
i feel tired so easily.. plus my bad mood.. i better just take rest at home...
i dont know.. i will go out for a walk later..
daddy said i'm so lazy, i should go working, just follow my schedule..
yea i know.. but i really feel "BLINK"... you know what's reflecting when the ppl blink ?
it just shows how stupid they are. hahaha..... anyway....
daddy wouldnt blame me on that hohoho... and then.. i dont know what boss thinks ...
i dont wanna care.
i think........................................................................................................................................
i dont know what to say.... i just dont wanna face it.. i mean....
i dont know how to face it. but it's tough.....
hummm everyone has his/ her own life... then... love brings two ppl together..
in the relationship there should be only the two of them. then... while there's a third party
interrupt... then.... for anyone of them would just suffer. u know what i mean...
i dont mean to join in, but i stepped in already. and i feel so lost and i feel so confused.
i dont wanna bring anyone pressure anymore. i broke up with my boyfriend already,
and of course that not 100% coz i m being in another relationship. i didnt tell my boyfriend abt that.
but that's also one of the reason why and i wanna keep things simple. too complicated stuffs are
just hard for me to handle well. work , studies i could, but not relationship.. i'm so stupid on it.
you ask me if i wanna give up, the ans is nope. you ask me if i wanna keep it, the ans is nope.
i just know what i'm doing is hurting the three of us.. and seems like we ve no happy future.
i dont know... !!!
sigh...
junming is talking with me for that " cert level concerns" ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
i really hate that.... stop plz... enough.. i need to breath....
Part II, 6 42 pm.
just now i walked out... then had McDonald's.. then walk around back home..
i bought green tea sponge cake.. nice.
cheers*
go yahoo album...
>>June 7, 2006 at 11:03:23 AM GMT+8
2006 年 6 月 5 日 星期一 【晴】
hummmm
last night ended up with anger.
today wake up with messages.
anyway, i'm quite moody, maybe be coz of the pils, and then... coz of my period.
still on medicine.. sigh... so tired...
i work today. couldnt concentrate on tasks.. hummm and then today we got some big changes
at office. all the science group tutors resign suddenly. damn... the whole group resigned..
then new arrangement comes along... we have three new miss here. hummm one of them looks
quite nice. anyway... not my concerns. i just feel sad for the changes, simply just coz....
i know why the changes come. the reasons, the events... yea... those are the evil actions.
then... suddenly Dr. Kui came... droped some notes, and asked me to copy all of them right now,
coz he need the copy back. oh my goodness.. one of the machines is out of order..
then the other one kept jamming papper. what the fuck, i was very busy and mad at that stupid
machine.
and then.. i had to rush in the Eng notes for that Miss Pinky. and then there was the lesson amendment
form requesting from her. what the hell, she circle my careless mistake of a word on that form.
i think i'm really bad at spelling man... and then... i dont know.. i know my eng is so terrible, too.
however mine is still better than some ppl i guess?
and then... today is the first time i get back to the feelings of regret. i mean... regret for my HKCEE.
if i did well on that time, i would be able to go to F.6 and take A Level.
what happened making me that time really couldnt study well... coz of my pressure...
i ve already forgiven myself so long ago... but today... the feelings come back... and my tears down.
coz i didnt do well on the HKCEE, then.... i dont know how to say.. i'd be forever marked as the lower
price person. i'm really crying... why? why it has to be that. i'm much mre than the HKCEE now.
isnt it true huh? i'm a degree student, i've passed the Toffel, the highest level of ESL.
i'm still valued as lower than any local university student? i really hate this. it's so unfair..
i was doing so fine in school. i was the top student, just coz of one time fail, then i'm forever marked
as the ..... i think... i'm lost in this society.. why hong kong ppl is like that...
why suddenly i got this kind of feelings? coz i'm just sensitive abt my nighbourhood and the enviornment
around me. general talking about my working enviornment.
and then... hmmmmm i was so mad last night.. i knew my position. i thought i am clear about that.
then i found nope i was not clear. in the realtionship... i still not got over what had happened b/w
me and Benny. sometimes i still feel sad and pain.
it's like...." they ve to be negotiated in loving ways, w/ room for both parties, wht they want n what
they need, wht they can do n what their life s like."
"in business, ppl negotiate to win. they negotiate to get wht they want. maybe u'r too used to tht.
love s different. love s when u r as concerned abt someone else's situation as u re abt ur own."
that's what i read in the book. there are much more than i typed out here... and i cried on the train.
i dont regret for what i did, coz... it had happened... and then... i knew... he wouldnt regret also.
but then i look at my position at this moment. i 'm a bit lost. i dont know where i'm going, i'm not sure
i wanna do in the future. i think of the realtionship with someone. it's like killing someone or something.
what had happened last night was not so important. just the meaning behind is much more than what
just said and happened. i felt like i shouldnt say so clear about what i feel.. just simply coz...
my diary has been ..... exposed.. and my name, my life, myself.. all has been exposed.
i ve no privacy in front of some ppl anymore. i couldnt write what i wanna write... there's always
something i couldnt say, i shouldnt tell. is that the penalty ?
and then... what's abt the future... i really dont know...
how should i face this... just lie to myself? try to accept? try to figure out? i dont know.
i mind, i care.. but so ?
before i left home, i ve 15 mins free, watching tv... the music programe...
i cried... i couldnt control my tears dropping down.
i think it will all gone... it all will be fine... coz i just never be able to keep anyone with me.
always trying, always falling.. it's so tiring.
***
>>June 6, 2006 at 3:30:20 PM GMT+8
2006 年 6 月 4 日 星期日 【晴】
yo yo yo...
haha.. okay.i slept 8 hrs last night, then woke up watching Mummy Return. so nice =)
one of my fav. movies. anyway.... then... taken medicine, and come on line..
oh, saw him on line =) we chated for a while.
hummm i planed to go book store by myself, eventually went there with mom =)
i finally get my book ^^ * hohoho.
this is... "Fabulous Girl's Guide to Grace Under Pressure". hee
then... we hang around, we ate egg tart, and then we picked up Leggy from her school.
hummmm then back home. take a long walk today.
outside is so stuffy.. i hate this really much. i wanna go exercise, i wanna go jogging under the sun.
but then this kind of shit weather would make me suffocate... lack of oxygen ..
after exercise would make me feel so deadly.... very stuffy man... sweat |||
hummm... take time... to rest Cas...
By the way...
i've taken a few tests on line =) finally can seat and read tests...
You've found Mr. Right because You're Ready for a Family
Castor, you've found Mr. Right because You're Ready for a Family
You've played the field and maybe sown some wild oats in your day. In the process, you've figured out who you are and what you want. And now you're going after it with a great guy who wants a family as much as you do. It sounds like you're both ready to settle down and start your own family traditions.
You've probably always made family a priority. Caring and dedicated, you'd do anything for those you love. So it's no surprise that you're ready to add more people to your family...no matter how you'll get along with his mother.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The right design for you shows off your Eye for Trends
Castor, the right design for you shows off your Eye for Trends
Hey, trendsetter. You're quite the hip and happenin' one. With your tastes for telling what's hot and what's not, you're on the cutting edge. And what better way to keep showing off your fashionable ways than by making sure your room says as much about you as the style that precedes you?
To make your room the casa of cool, go for accessories and touches that are edgy and stylish like you. Look to a multi shag rug, pretty bohemian striped pillows, a sari bedding set, a color block rug, or a willow hamper to complete your look. A room that reveals the true you is as cool as it gets. So get decorating!
What's Your Fantasy Home?
Castor, your fantasy home is a Nurturing Nest
Home is where the heart is. For a warm and friendly person like you, it only makes sense that your abode would be just as inviting and welcoming. After all, a house is so much more than the place you rest your head.
When it comes to feathering your nest, you probably opt for colors, furniture, accessories, and lighting that inspire people to have a seat and stay awhile. Any day of the week, your home is likely to be the place people want to be because it always makes them feel at home. Nice work!
the songs from Rihanna and Pussycat Dolls re quite nice...
i love those new songs.... "Buttom", "Sway" and " Beep" from Pussycat Dolls,
then, "Unfaithful", "P.S. I'm still not over you", "If it's loving that you want", "Kisses dont lie",
" Final Goodbye", " Million miles away", and "Who you gonna turn to", from Rihanna.
reflecting the real life from the music. Rihanna 's songs re quite sexxy, and then... truely reflected
how she felt, and could really represent the image of the album, called " A girl like me"
nice huh =)
anyway....
***
>>June 5, 2006 at 11:27:06 AM GMT+8
2006 年 6 月 3 日 星期六 【晴】
i'm damn tired... got a bit headache...
anyway, last night i got the call, soooooooooo sweet.... hee..
but then today i couldnt wake up.. you know what.. i had to wake.
coz i got the appointment at 11 15 am.... wit a dentist. =(
i got a new tooth, the wisdom tooth. i felt so much pain...
then... yea... today ... i took the medicine home and then ... eating, taking medicine then sleep..
till miki's turtor come, then i wake and take medicine again.. feel like to sleep, but cant.
then now chatting with Alesja. i wish her all the best.. sigh...
i ve been thinking of my dear someone, is he alright? really thinking of him lots...
i desire sleep and rest.. dont feel like to eat but still have to eat coz of the medicine...
my eating habit has been really bad recently since i ve to work from 1 to 9 pm.
hey.. i hate this... what to do?
***
>>June 4, 2006 at 10:32:21 AM GMT+8
2006 年 6 月 2 日 星期五 【晴】
haha...
today... hummm hee.. i woke up a bit late. but still havent been late to work =P
hummm i brought some nougats to office, hee.. then i ate biscuz sticks for breakfast at office..
today is so free... sometimes helping studetns, but then no really a big task on the desk or on the
system shown. hummm then i read my book and eating haha..
i was going up and down stairs, coz... science group remain on 1/F today, then art group
moved up to 12/F why? yea la, why? i dont like science group here, so big class and quite noisy..
and then.. i rather keep the econ and eng with me. humm anyway, boss decided.
there was sth happened b/w the science group last night.. so yea... boss called me morning today
just for telling me to keep the whole science group on 1/F.
heehee... then i was so free sometimes, then just stayed on web messanger haha..
chating with Queenie.. by the way, i'm so sorry Queenie.... i'm so sorry.... aiya... so bad...
then.. yea... around lunch time, those students, so cute cute F.1 students remind me the lunch time.
haha.. so funny ! yea.. i was walking up and down coz i wanna make sure if the up stair okay or not.
okay... let s ve lunch together! =) we took order, let them deliver us lunch heehee..
then i gave them some chicken haha they were so happy ! =D and Miss Ching was so funny.
she ate, then those students looked at her, then she laugh and asked why~~~~? haha.. so funny.
hummmm i'm so happy =D
and then... when Mr. Lam left, i brought him my candy can again, hahaha he smiles ! so nice...
funny... i still remember last week, i gave him candies, then he 's shy then smile.
so this time i ask him, hey want candy? take one ! hahaha...
he asked me if i like candies.. hummm not really like candy but then sometimes i'm just bored at office..
nothing to do.. ha.. then he said yes, just put something in mouth. ha..
hummmm not the case on weekdays actually. i usually busy at weekdays. only Sat a bit free...
then yea, bored dont need to eat, just feel like to ... eat. but then when i'm busy
i would usually want the hazlenut chocolate or nougat ^^ heeheeeee...
so... today... i have only one chocolate in the can, and then he picked that ! hahaha... i didnt say
anything. he asked me if i buy them, yes... of course me... you guess Mr. Chow would buy? haha
no way. that's what i thought.
anyway, i was happy =) then after work, i went to Festival Walk.. Page One, that book store is nice.
yup... going to buy new book... hummmmm... fiction or inspiritation books? then i found somthing nice
for Miki, i guess she might like that =P i might buy the book for her after her exam. that book is abt
a pilot and how he drives the plane. i might buy for her. that's not hte hk version. he's from the states.
so, compared with the same kind of book we have in hk, that's absolutely challenging for her,
coz all the text is in Eng, and then the cases and the perceptions, all the stuffs are just based on its
own culture. so i wonder my sister might like it =P then i found a small nook cute, abt golf. i htink of
dear someone. he might like this small book. yea, i'm still looking for a gift for him.
alright back to Tai Po, then went into another book store... hummm this one is hk style la ;)
then, i found another nice book for myself.. but now i'm thinking... which one to get.
coz.. everytime i could only buy one book and be loyal to it. hahahaha !
otherwise i would never be able to finish the book. and then... i dont find any nice book as Tuseday
with Morrie. so i might get a romance fiction? or some kindda like... telling the truth from women and
men perceptions? haha i love this kind of stuffs, just so syuitable for my studies.. but then i got so
much information from net and school already... hummm so... which type i should buy?
anywya, i bought the egg tart to home.. have been a month havent eaten egg tart =P
and i miss my home made egg tarts when i was in Van with vicvic making those at night ! haha...
Vicvic delay her schedule.. she might not come to meet me, she would go Jap. i dont know...
humm i wanna meet her... if she stayed Van a bit longer, we might be able to meet in Aug.
coz i'm going back in Aug.
miss you, you know who that person is? cas, you know? hee.
***
>>June 3, 2006 at 11:43:25 AM GMT+8
2006 年 6 月 1 日 星期四 【晴】
today... i woke up like 7 am, watching cartoon, hahaha... so funny.
then i left home ard 8 45 am i guess? then i had breakfast at McDonald's..
my fav Filet O' Fish w/o cheese hee... i didnt drink "ice tea" today, but the ice with tea. haha
hummmm i seat there for long... outside was raining so hard.. then.. i was just... sitting at the
wondow side... can see the whole view... so peaceful, except there were some studetns
talking so loud... i wonder why they're so free... no class today?
anyway, i went to Sam Shui Po... wahhhh so.... terrible... raining soooo hard.. then i walked to there
from the MTR station... sigh.... then got there, but have to wait for the in charge lady.. Ms. Yau.
erhhhhhh she was late... 15 mins late... then waited for her for another 15 mins..
so we start our trip ard 11 30am today.. we went to three centers. sigh....
outside was raining so hard, RED RAIN STORM WARNING SIGNAL man...
we just keep walking on street... hell... i heard my boss said we would take taxi... =.=||
my shoses re like the container.. full of water.. my shorts got wet, my body got wet..
then... arrived the first center.. i just seat there, then she was happy chating with another staff...
huh... then we started walking again.... =.=... then we took mini bus... i guess we would take taxi..
but nope... =( sigh... ok.................. then... arrived to the third place... and then... my boss said..
we would have lunch there, "order from outside"... but then.. she told the aunt that i would stay for
lunch but she wouldnt eat. okay.... then she left... and i seat and waited again... =S
i wonder what to do... then she said i could use internet.. then i sign in web messanger..
sigh.... then not after long... the keyboard sucks... doesnt work anymore.. how could that be?
then ok... i just seat and waited... =S
then... she's back and some students come.. oh... my lunch is as same as those students lor ~~
i was very very supprised even though my face didnt show.. and i shouldnt be supprised ?
where re those food from? two big plastic boxes... from another center.. but then have the micro
wave to heat them up i guess? coz obviously there's no a real kitchen to cook...
erhhhhh every students got a big bowl, there were rice and curry chicken wings and some potato.
hahaha... my first time in life to have this kind of meal at an insitution. really my first time..
but then you guess what happened? she order food outside... damn... my bos said she would order
the food for both of us. sigh........................................................... !!!
ok, it's ok... just a meal, one meal... and i was not that unhappy actually. it's just like a joke..
haha how could that be huh? but fun... coz that's my first time.. and so real to understand what the
little kids doing in the insitution and what they eat. how're they doing there.. okay... thanks..
even though when i was small i ve been this kind of insitution for a short period, MY MOM'S NEVER
LET ME EAT WHAT THEY PROVIDE. hahaha... it's ok... i'm still alive =P haha
then... i took bus back to my office with that aunt. i chated wth her.. hum she's nice =)
anyway... thanks for the lunch. coz actully taste not bad =) hee. i was just ... shocked but supprised.
alright... i back there waiting boss at a book store.. coz... no one was there =.= door locked.
then i waited there and chated with mom. hee. i guess iarrived at 3 pm.
busy doing lots of stuffs.... taking time sheets to copy, file some doc to folder... then cutting ans for
the kids, and then... dealing with the fee notices, hummm and then ahhh i've done the forms le.. hee
not bad =) from nothing to "he done" that was happy. anyway...
i showed boss Miki's accadamic report.. then boss was supprised by my sister also. haha..
she's great.. but i'm still worried for her.. coz... i was great and bright , but then till now i still
dont understand why my F.4 result declined so much then... my hkcee.. sigh. ok..
last night........ i couldnt sleep... i just couldnt sleep..
after a call, then i tried to sleep.. but then actually i'm really tired and sleepy.. but just so awake..
that's tensed.. anxious.. i dont like this.. cas... could you sleep well tonight?
it's been a long time you havent slept nice already....... you ve to rest you know..
hummmmm sometimes.... hummm ok... today i heard the song Tung Hua on the mini bus..
my heart pain... i dont know... i m still ... kindda stucking in... hummm...
i hevnt got over that, but in my heart there's another person also. he arrived home, then gave me
a call last night, and that call... is like the comfort.. i feel comfortable with, i feel nice.. and i feel
thanks, i feel love.. i feel the care. really thanks..
today have no news from him at all after the web messanger "error" with the keyboard.
i try hard to date my frined tomorrow.. i'm finding anyone could accompany me..
Sat, after work.. i wanna hang out coffee or just hang around.. anyone's insterested could call me?
i will be free around 4 pm - 4 30 pm.. depends on how busy office would be.
Vicvic is arriving tomorrow?? i heard she said that...
***
>>June 2, 2006 at 3:55:57 PM GMT+8
2006 年 5 月 31 日 星期三 【晴】
Today...woke up quite early...
the first time was 6 am, the second time was 7 am..
then i got up till 10 15am then go back to bed.
very sleepy..
hummmmm... that s the sms from dear someone, he's back to SG today, early in the morning.
i got up at 7, coz of a deal with my sister, Leggy last night. she wanted me to wake up watching
"Courage the corwdly dog", that nice cartoon. haha... so ugly but super funny.. gross... hahaha..
so long havent watched it since my schedule from school did nt require the morning class.
hummm so funny...
then after that cartoon, i didnt go back to sleep, then watching a movie.. called " In the cut".
anyway... ard 8 am, i got another sms, which's telling me he's abroad already.
hummm i wish him fine there now =) should be resting at home i guess?
then i went back to sleep... finally relaz myself... so easily fellen asleep.. then woke ard 11 am?
then... rushing to go...
at work... so free today... boss is not here till 6 sth pm... hee..
so i just finished my paper work so easily, and stayed on line, web messanger at the same time.
that's my first time be able to use the web messanger there. sigh but nice.
anyway...... was chatting, with Mr. Yu. so funny !!! he knows a few language. he's gonna go
French, the school trip. nice huh. and then... Mr. Yu, some students and me at the first table just keep
joking.. haha.. i didnt say what, i just listen and laugh. hahaha..so funny.
then... the office was fine la =) then... till boss back.. then i started being busy again. haha..
helping students to do this and that.. just some back up job. ok la..
if you ask me to be the tutor, i will be okay but damn tired.. but then now is happy =)
could be happy dealing with kids, and then i could finish my jobs so easily, and that's the meaningful
position. hummmm on the system... i will be someone to operate the administration work, to organize
the little tasks or jobs in this small office.. then boss would move on to another position..
and the main goal for myself is to organize well, do well on all little things. and i m doing so fine,
i'm a bit supprised, too. anyway.. it's just the life experience.
after work, ard 10 pm already.. then i discussMiki's situation to my boss, i wonder if there's any
test i could take away home for my sister, to test her level. her exam is coming so soon, and then
she's going to F.4 this year... i'm a bit affraid... coz she's talented.. so... i dont want her to.. you know..
okay enough =)
ermmmm... on the way home, i was reading... and then... i was so touched..
i mean.. what Morrie said was just so true, and it touched my heart.
i wonder if i could type out, just like last time... i wanna share with my friends....
you know, not just my friends... my friends in my heart is not just a friend.
once you're on my mind, i would cherish you as most as i wonder, my best.
especially if i find something nice, i would relate that with the ppl in my heart.. and then i especially
wanna share with him or her.. just like... Hey! i got something so nice for you!!
i hope you would like it !!! =) very passionate.. haha..
even though sometimes i dont act them out, but i do feel that fire in my heart.
that's so secert.. maybe coz... that's the culture.. oh well, i'm creating my little sub culture now.
dont mean to... against the hk culture, i do respect that, and i gotta accept what..
but i would want a bit my own culture to happen on myself. coz... that's me.
anyway, i dont wanna get lost in this society. but i dont wanna be the against group.
and then i read about the part of marriage. that was so... true...
i mean... yea, troubles construct on those stones... i called that "too ego", or "slefish-ness" or...
" blind-ness".... all of them. ha... true...
compromise, what is that? you ask me to tell what's going on? ermmm...what's that?
stuffs like that.. and then... what re the same values b/w us? i dont know... when i heard that
from the book, it just hit my heart so hardly. yea... coz our generation is different.
today, i ve chated with Cyn on line ! Finally seeing her on line ~~~ miss her alot !!
then.. i've told him i'v met her friend, Mr. H, haha.. and then.. update her some news abt myself..
and then... she discussed with me.... and... yea... like that..
hummm what to say... you asked me if there's any hk guys like me..
i'm so sorry and so embarassed for myself that is nope... zero... i wondered if that's my problem..
anyway...
nitght night cas..
tomorrow will have work.
>>June 1, 2006 at 4:14:20 PM GMT+8
2006 年 5 月 30 日 星期二 【晴】
hummm now is on the... 30th mid night, 1 26am.
i start the new entry, coz... i dontk now... it's the start of today, 31th anyway.
and i hope after a sleep, i would feel better.
just now, i saw Benny on line..
tonight, i m so moody, i just wanna stay with music. that korean song.
hummmm... i greet him, my heart was beating abnormaly...
i waited, i waited.. i asked him if he still angry at me..
he didnt reply me didnt greet me.. then i waited and waited.. i say.. ok it's okay... goodnight.
is that just our ending ? couldnt be friend anymore... ? why?
while i was walking to the mtr station from office..
a song comes into my head. that's "tong hua" from gruang lian.
that's the song from Benny when i was in Van. i felt something wrong i dont know why.
anyway... that's over, plz sleep well cas.
by the way, i got a mesg... from dear someone.
you know... cas... you d never be able to hold it. it comes, and it goes.
whoever, whenever, just like .... everyday, ppl come, pass, and go. you could never catch on that.
at least you ve treasured the moment, then nothing should be sad for.
do you regret for that cas? nope, you girl never regreted for anything.
plx, plz plz stay strong and be brave.
just finish dinner.. hummm
this week keep working.... woke then eat and watch tv, then go working, then busy, then eat bread,
and busy again, then after work reading, back home eating and then hanging on net, then shower
and rest, watching tv or chating with mom, then go to bed, reading and asleep.
so long havent work out... damn.. really wanna go jogging actually. but the weather is so shit.
no sun, only rain and cloud... so wet.. got 83% on my temputure. my skin got alergy with the weather.
too wet i would feel ichy. dry is okay for me, coz i would put on lotion... but wet, then.. sigh..
i hate spring !!!! but then now, June is coming in 1 hr later. June is summer what... sigh..
i hate the rain i hate that wet ! it's ok lor.. not too hot, only 25 c outside.. just like in Van..
but then.. it's really bad leh, raining all the time. i want sunshine !!!
i've heard Ade said ... the weather is just like her mood. haha.. me too...
"the weather got affected by my mood" hahahaha... yea la yea la..
so bad.. sigh... i dont feel good then outside would keep raining, is it ?
i want sunshine which means i want happiness. so true...
the most happy time is the time when i was busy i could take a small break, put the sweet in mouth.
or having a coffee break or... on the train reading my fav. book again and again.
i would just feel more comfortable. sometimes i would think... i already gettting used to this kind of life.
my family is like the shell for me. accomodation, resturant hahaha, a place to sleep to wash up.
sometimes could chat with mom and sisters. sometimes play with dad. on sunday, then could have
a big group of "close friends", eventhouhg i dont tell them everything w/ myself, i still feel comfortable
to be with them. i could totally live by myself if i got a right full time job, at this moment.
which means that i could be responsible for myself totally, dont need any help from my family, if i ve
enough money. sometimes i would think i would be happy to stay with my family. but i would need more
and more space and time. hummm dont know... anyway, i would move out someday.
and i think i would still live near ard my home, coz i love Tai Po. haha..
anyway...
cas... was so moody when she woke up. might be... coz.. when she opened her eyes, then looked
out, she found outside is raining so hard..
i wanna scold the sky actually. i just want some fun, i just want the sunshine, why dont u give me?
just one day... am i asking for too much huh? u know.. you keep crying for 2 weeks already..
u cry, i cry... i dont wanna cry anymore ! get out of my mind ! can ?
all i want is some fun, guess that i better run...
ha... funny ...
Well I'm sorry, I answered the telephone from him him him him him him and him.
Don't be worried, he's not with me,
And when I go out tonight today tomorrow, I'm going home alone.
I'm a mess girl for sure, all I want is some fun, guess that I'd better run...
cas, you better run...
dont ease your soul, dont come lie to me.
i dont need all the shit.
what re you talking about? nonsense speech. something you would never understand.
我想我才了解 就算用盡了力氣也未必如願.
季節沒改變, 是眼淚弄濕臉.
i dont know what the hell's goin on in my head.
i just wanan break through it, i just need to breath... plz... let me go...
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
today is very busy.. and my brain is still in 56k...
hummmmm
haha...
today... i woke up like 7 am, watching cartoon, hahaha... so funny.
Someone who know