2006 年 12 月 16 日 星期六 【晴】

honeyand his friend got car accident last night.
why he got accident, coz of me.

i'm worried for him, coz he need an arm surgery and a brain check up tomorrow, that means just a
few hrs later. his friend, the person who was helping me is in coma. i felt so bad.

of course the resume and interview is very important, i'm so hurry to get things done..
but, now... my honey and his friend had accident.
honey still wanted to go over his place to copy me the resume before going back to the hospital.
but i'm so worried for him. how could he drive when he only have one hand avilable?
anyway... i'm worried for him and his friend. i feel so sorry for that.

today...
i had a class with Ricky, we did some grammar and writting today.
Ricky and i write the post card for Stephen.

after that, had late lunch with my family. then, i run back home... see honey on line but not
replying.. i was ... worried..
then i went out, coz Capella is back. humm i went to TST to meet her.
we just walked ard. so long havent see nher, i had been missing her, so today i was happy to see her,
but then... i really worry for honey.. hummmm i wanan fly over to there now.
i wish i could be there now. we walked ard, ate some snack... yea... then i came home..
and then.. had been on line waiting to see him... i'm waiting for him...

listening to my baby songs from honey..
he gave me a cd, it was written down that... " a cd for my baby".
haha.. i just save the songs in computer as.. baby songs.

this one make me smile all the time...
Making Memories Of Us -- Keith Urban


I'm gonna be here for you baby
I'll be a man of my word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I wanna sleep with you forever
And I wanna die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother
I wanna learn from your pa
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw
I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

We'll follow the rainbow
Wherever the four winds blow
And there'll be a new day
Comin' your way

I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll win your trust making memories of us



and then anotehr song...

Sheryl Crow - Always On Your side

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

>>December 17, 2006 at 4:06:05 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 16 日 星期六 【晴】

well...

last night Season and i finally decided to go clubbing.
NOT really Clubbing, just take a drink and did some dancing.
not even talk to anyone of course.
we arrived ard 10 sth coz we were discussin on some reports earlier in McDonald's.
then.. we entered at 11.. left at 12...
but then i was running to get the bus, and just saw it gone...
i wonder if i ve left 5 mins earlier, i could catch the last bus.
i ran ard to get a taxi. it's raining and cold.
the feeling is... insecure.
then... running so fst with my high heels... my feet were so pain.
hummmm in the taxi i was scared. coz i dont regonize the road.. then... felt like...
the taxi driver was just runing ard as well... then i got off nd still run ard to find the bus station.
i was quite scared and worried. coz i know my parents re worried for me, and Stephen doesnt
like i go clubbing. hummmmm... on the way home i was... so scared..
afraid... coz... i m sure i made my honey and parents worried for me..
and my parents were pissed.
i was almost crying.... and kept thinking of honey.. thinking of my past time with my family.
and i felt insecure. i find myself bad. coz it's like... i dontk now anyone on the street and it's late night.
i might get into trouble this time.

and then..
back home... dad knocked the gate already.. i couldnt just use my key to get in.
then.. i called... and.. mom opened it. she was angry at me..
i didnt speak any words but i was so guilty you know..

i try to calm down myself... then, took a shower, long wash up... then.. sitting in the living room,
i know i wouldnt be able to sleep if i dont talk with honey.
so i waited till 2 30, i called.

we were on phone for 30 mins.. i was crying to him, telling him my feelings and my situation.
i wished he would forgive me. and then... i was touched...
coz he wasnt angry at me, but he told me lots of things. and now i know he wasnt trying to
control me or being mean to me, he just cared about me. he explanit to me about lots of things..
and he taught me what to do as well. he listened to me, and i understand more and more now..
youk now... about that man, about clubbing and stuffs.. i know he's the good guy i would like to
spend my life time with. he could be so fun, so serious, reliable. he's very very mature, and he
could take care of me and we can communicate. i'm a bit afraid i'm just like a little girl..
i dont wanna be his baby girl, i want to be his good fiance. youknow...
but he says it's okay, coz i dont always need to be cared.

once we had talked about childhood. i said... when i was born, he's 11 already.
then he was kidding like... at that age, he looked at me, like the "shit" hhahaha then he would tell
himself, this little baby would be his fiance. haha. i felt so... merical.
looking at a baby and imagine marring this baby. haha.. so nice..
then i think.. i looked at that giant, and thinking like... what is this... i will get marry with him? what
s the meaning of marry? haha..

anywya, tday i had been working.. no time come on line..
we just chat for a very short time.. i miss him the whole day.. so terrible..
then after work, Leggy has her last performance at Tai Po Children Choir.
hummmm so funny... our family go this chirstmas performance every year since i was 8.
12 years. i was in this chior.. and then my sister Miki then Leggy.. hummm
and then all three of us got award hahaha... cool right? hahaha..
whne i was small there, the chior was very popular. and we had so many ppl in.
and then i did go to China for the exchange programme, some performance.
it was so cool... and then...
today i saw Mr. Tsang. he's so old now... but still very very good. he's the greatest music teacher
i've ever seen. and tonight i greeted him. he said... three of us all got awards, just appeared in the
diffent time. i feel so... weird but.. you know the feelings?
it's so unreal but true. i was enjoying all the performance... and now this year would be the last year
to go there. coz Leggy is gonna leave as well. we will say good bye.
i think abiout my childhood, i look at the me now, i dont want to find myself old but you know..
time flyes.

tomorrow, i will have class with my cousin Ricky, then.....
hi dontk now maybe just go home resting. i need time to rest.
and i miss my honey... so... perhaps we could have mroe time together.

>>December 16, 2006 at 5:19:55 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 13 日 星期三 【晴】



hummm i m watching tv" Nip Tuck".

this morning chatted with honey for awhile, short while. coz i was rushing to work..
last night i woe up three times to call honey..
in this morning 6 sth i contacted him...ok...

i got his e-mail this morning...
then this morning he was kindda laugh at me. .. .. .. ..... .. .
anyway, it was funny..
then i got back to work.. we had chatted in the morning.. some intimacy talk. haha

hummm the man came again... he stayed for awhile..
i've told honey about that also... then.. he was messaging me but i didnt read..
coz the man was here =.=
i just wondered... he's an old man already, what he can do to me ?
he's just an old man.... maybe he likes me or whateveri dont care. i'm not interested in him.
i dont show affection at all. he likes coming to talk.. maybe just like other chinese old men
like to talk. chinese old ppl can talk to anyone. i dont mind.. but...
once he did talk about dating him or sex. i say no. he knows i'm not interested in that with him.
i was just so angry when i saw my honey on line again.

i had been busy for the whole day. youk now what.. those 250 leaflets re still on process.
then i gotta help Ella class.. then my lazy Fiona came. and i dont find the class nice.
i'm kindda tired being so patient with her now. she's really lazy and cocky.
well, i was happy to recieve her christms card. i thought she would only send Ella one.
then i got it, i was surprised.. but i was just too tired... anyway, i've prepared her a gift as well =)
anway, her class is never efficient. i dont know what to do.

after shg left... i had been helping cleaning... =.= sigh.... i hate doing cleaning for ppl.
i could do cleaning for myself, but plz dont expect me doing cleaning for others, especially,
when the place is not my home, not my close ppl place. it's work place man...
i always help cleaning when i was in Van with my aunt or friends.
i cook i wash, i clean up.. doesnt matter.. but work place ?? ella is like my sister but.. no...
i shouldnt be responsible with cleaning... i could help sometimes, and today is the day i have to help.
uhhhhhhh~~~~~!!!

finally getting a chance to be on line... then i stayed thee for another 50 mins..
i left ard 8 30 pm.
my honey was jealous today... i guess... or worried for me....
coz.. i was asking him if he's been thinking of me so he cant sleep.
he asked me back... not thinking of another boyfrined?
at first i totally dont understand what he's tlaking about. had been keeping asking him...
then i found out coz of that man. omg...
and then after all, we talk about danger and baby..
i was angry actually... but in the end.. i understand his worries.
so... i wanna make some changes for him but still keep myself own charater.
i'll think about hwat i should do.. coz .. i dont wanna keep arguing with honey.
he has his points.

tomorrow night i might go out with Season..
maybe for some girl chat.. i odnt know..

hummmmm... too sleepy...
need to sleep.

>>December 14, 2006 at 4:54:59 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 13 日 星期三 【晴】

terrible disconnection

sigh...
i hate this..

anyway... could chat with honey ard my off time at work..
then i stayed fo another 30 mins.. i could stay longer for him but the point is...
Ella has class till 9.. so... she was still there.. and if i were there, i would be supposed to work,
especially if she need my help.
so.. i was busy and chatting with honey at the same time..
and the accident happened. the shelf collapsed.
then it took a while to fix.. damn..

hummm rushing back home but still need to buy a vcd from a shop for christmas gift.
then... rushing back.. eventually taking taxi.. outside is very cold and raining tonight..
sick...
then, back home still seeing honey on line..
then.... was on webcam with him as well.. and then... we chatted..
and i had dinner.. and back.. he didnt reply me anymore.. i thought he was asleep already..
i let the web cam on. coz in case if he woke up he could see me again..
then... i was watching ER... then.. i was lookign at the screen sometimes.. to see if he's awake ..
no..

after awhile.. he nudged me..
and i found that he was very angry coz he thinks i ignored him.
i felt so bad.. coz i kept him awake the whole night !!! and then i didnt recieve any of 37 mesgs from him!!
if i did, you know i would have been replying him imediately, just wheneveri could right?
so... i feel really bad... whoever mesgs i might nto reply imediately, but his mesgs .. man... i would
never missed a chance to reply him. he's just that important !

sigh... i think he kept trying till he really slept in his morning time 7 something...
oh my god..
since i got his last mesgs, the one shows he's so angry... i d never got another one...
omg.................... =(

i wanan set alarm to wake up and call him see if he's okay...
my honey is always like my baby. i really really really want him. wanna eat him heee...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


i had the monkeys class today.
i had Ceren also.. so nice... they're so naughty today but still fine.
today, Ken learnt better than Alex. but it should be so, coz the concept should be a bit hard for
Alex actually. but fine, coz Alex is a very very fast learner. this kid is really cool.
Ken is okay. i really hope that he wont mess things up.
Ella really has diff face in my class. she's much more strict and boring in my class.
i see the kids not learning much with her actually. but i didnt discuss with her.
she always want me to seprate the kids to do their own homework, and keep the,m busy
with suplementary worksheets. but the point is... it's not what i wanna do.
especially when i was a kid, i really hate that. i dontk now what teacher teaches me at school,
so now i come here seeking help. and you'e just boring me not teaching me. this is even worse than
learning from school. and i dont find fun in englsih, i have to pay more expensive as well ?
no.. i wont want this.

at my point of view. HK education system has restricted lots of fun in english courses.
diff school has its curriculm also. so it's very hard for kids to learn english as the sec lang.
humm i want the kids to have fun in learning english. and the process of learning is very very important.
i would never let my kids be bored by my classes. they're naughty, but i'm trying to take control,
and i'm doing much much better than before. so now, they could have fun and learn well at the same
time.

i teach them what they've missed from school, and i teach them extra stuffs.
i teach them to "think" more, in stead of just rememering wha the grammar about.
i try to build the concepts in their minds by games and some simple activities.
so they could easily relate the knowledge to their daily life.
i use lots of questions and comparisons to make them thinking and finding asnwers by themselves.
i dont tell the truth till the last moment. i always give hints to lead them thinking.. it's very effective.
and then at the end of the class. i would ask them to copy notes from board and do some revision.
then next class, i asked them and tested them. every class they have the evaluation by me.
i grade them by 5 colors star sticker. Golden, Silver, Orange, Red and Green.
Golden is the best, Red is fail. Green is special. i only give once Green star for Alex coz of his
scrafts. sometimes i give small gifts: snack... sometimes i dont.
i chat with them everytime to make sure they're fine. i should notice more or observe
more in the class to see if my kid is okay or not. so, i could understand what their needs are,
and then if i have problems with the kids i could talk with the parents.
i really like my kids, and want to give my best to them. i'm not their mother, but you know..
i'm so serious teaching them.. so... i would miss them lots when later i resign.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

missing my honey...
i will try my best to wake up calling... then... yea...

i'm soooo tired everyday now.....


i was kidding asking honey why he's up at the late night.
he cant sleep. he told me he's typing in the dark. i asked if that's hard.
if so, why stay on line in the dark? i mean..so late now.. if cant sleep, why not doing some reading
or tv or drink some hot stuffs, but on line?
i was joking that coz of me, coz he wants to see me.
but he didnt seem to be true about my joke. i was a bit... dull. then okay...
it doesnt matter.

back home, seeing him still on. and he started sharing me some t-shirt printing.
so cool and funny. i do enjoy every moment with my honey eventhough i'm tired, honestly.
then, we got discconted. BIG.

then... afterwile, i found that.. he stayed up whole night coz of me. coz he wants to talk with me.
he's really my baby. he's such my sweet heart you know...
i love him so much but i'm really sorry about the disconnection from MSN or network.. i dont know.
i love my Honey Stephen, my Mr. Bailey.

>>December 13, 2006 at 5:00:42 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 11 日 星期一 【晴】

hummmm

this morning i did wake up very early...
then meeting honey for awhile... i got stomachache...
then i made breakfast... eatting and feeling bad..
then went back to bed..
doesnt wanan work today..
but finally got back to office.

bad.

then... Season suddenly came !!!! she was so early !!! i should meet her at 1 30, but then she's
here since 11 am! lucky that i'm at office...

then... i had been chatting with her at office.. coz so long havent seen her already...
since i was fired by Edgar after back from Van... ha... and at the same time i'm employed.
so, at least 3 months +++

i was on line with my honey Stephen as well.
we were using ebcam.. i was chating with season.. and chating with honey at the same time..
so naughty honey.. he's so funny... haha I LOVE HIM !
he was kidding alot today.. seems like he's pretty fine today, which i'm so happy about..
and then... he's just so funny and cute.
i love him shaved. he looks so cute hahahaha ^^

hummmmmm...
Season and i had lunch... then.... back to office..
and she has the short interview with Ella.
and then she sit in Ella's class. so fun.. the kids are so funny..
they were singing and playing and dancing. so cute !!
hummm in the christmas camp, Season would replace me teaching Mandarin.
so, at least i have a friend at office being with me!!! i wont be too lonely~~~~
but she' ll be only max 2 hrs there.. so... yea.... still short... but happy =)

then tomorrow got two guys coming for interview.. hummmm....

and then,...... after work i go meet up Season, have dinner with her.
coz... this is the 1st time for her to come over Tai Po. and she enjoys lots. good.

hummm i miss my honey sooo much....
perhaps seeing him tomorrow morning.. coz i might be busy after back to office.
gotta prepare notes for class and some worksheets for my monkeyssss.

hummm aunt Prscilla will go to BeJin tomorrow... well her good luck..
i m gonna write honey an e-mail and sleep.. feeling sick..

>>December 12, 2006 at 5:19:37 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 10 日 星期日 【晴】

hummm

i had been loafing this morning and afternoon.
then... also chatting with my honey..
we talk about lots of things..
my resume, career, my study, my family balh blah...

hummm had lunch with dad mom and Miki..
and then... back to work... quite bored also... had been then... chated with honey again
till my kids come.. then.. i had a very tired class.. the monkeys are so energenic..
but then they learnt alot today! well done ! =)
we did had homeowrk time, revision time, game time and worksheet time..
good. Ken is my new student now. he's P 3 but Alex is P 1.
Alex is just a very smart clever kid. he can learn better than Ken.
they're both cute naughty and funny haahah i love my kids!!!
hummm it was over run for another 45mins ... then after they left.. i had been busy working..
so didnt go on line again.... hummmmm....
and i left... i went to the bookstore and suppermarket to do some shopping for gifts for my students.

then... back home ...
having dinner and i saw honey 's still on line..
oh my god.. i feel bad.. then... had chating chating for awhile.. then..
maybe he's angry at me or ? i dont know... maybe disconnection... i miss him =(
sigh...
i want to wake up earlier so i could see him on line...

i love my honey..
he's so nice to me...
he's busy, but he's still willing to help me on my resume.. he's gonna rewrite my resume for me..
and that's not by my request.. and then everyime i have problems...
he's my good listener and giving me good advice everytime..
he's willing to wait for me, he's always trying his best for me..
he's suffering but... he doesnt give up.
and then longer time i know him, the ore i find we're quite similar at some points,
but we also have differences... i like this kind of feelings... it's comfortable.
but... i know we need to stay really stay together not just long distance relationship.
i will try, with him i will try all my best, for him.

i hope... i really hope my darling Stephen could wait for me..
and wont be frustrated with me. i really hope that we'll be happy together and not apart anymore.
this day would come right? i cant promise anything.. but as long as he trusts me, and willing to
wait, this day would be coming soon.

>>December 11, 2006 at 3:22:35 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 9 日 星期六 【晴】

when i dont expect the thing would come, it comes suddenly secertly quietly.
when i expect something gonna happen excitingly, sometimes, it d be gone silently.

i didnt expect honey would come into my life, he's my fiance now.
i didnt expect he would change for me, however, he looks like changed.
i forgot to expect he's not changed, then...
he expects me not clubbing anymore, but he was surprised by Ella's birthday.

just that day, fate comes to us again, as in a plan again...
he let me know that he wasnt changed.
a silent disconnection apart our comunication.

the day after, he told me, the thing didnt happen coz of some reasons or some accidents.
oh... and he knew i was going to clubbing place.

we both dont like the things of each others.

the fate...
i had been wondering if i should go clubbing.
and the weird feelings kept bothering me.
it's been changing when i dont even realize. i dont like the feelings.

finally, Ella and i both changed the mind.
she wants to have family dinner instead, and i want to rest and have my personal time.

it's like the plan again.
and i dont know ... i love him...



be back tonight...
gotta go have class with cousin Ricky.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ricky and i had the nice class, then i met Queenie and KB for late lunch.
Queenie and i went to TST afterward, we walked ard, and... we bought gifts for diff ppl.
well.... i did buy a bag at Roxy for myself as well, but it's on discount, very cheap.
i bought gift for Ella and Richard, a gift for Miki my sister, and for Fiona my student.
i still need to buy gifts for Alex my sudent, Ricky my cousin+student, Leggy my sister,
and for aunt Prscilla. hummmm cool.....

you know, hummm after dinner and shopping we seat at Starbucks, having cookies and tea..
chatting a bit... i thought of Alesja... i worried for her. and then at the bookstore Page One,
i saw a group-friends, they're very internectional, as in they're Jap, Chin, and Afri ?
then... i record the time i was in Van with Alesja and otehr frineds, HakGon, some Korean frineds
and Jap friends...

anyway, i miss all of them, and i felt bad.. then i left the bookstore.

okay..
we had fun tonight. but the weird feelings is still on my mind.
and i dont see honey on line anymore.

we didnt go ice-skating finally... Queeie is too tired.. omg.. i really want ice-skating..anyway, thanks Queenie today for being with me and... chatting with me as well.

after back home,
my parents have been talking with me about my school stuffs..
you know everytime my dad talk to me is like... whatever he says must be true,
he doesnt say it, but he means to. what the hell.. he always expect that what he thinks would be
nice. he asked me to change to the local university which i'd never wanted,
coz at least it's called a uni. and then even if i ve to change my major, it's still the good way to go.
coz afterward, i could get into the big company or organization. WHAT IF I DONT WANT ?!
STOP TALKING RUBBISH PLZ !
if i want to study in BA, i'd already chosen when i was 16 ! my associate degree result was
damn bad. almost all D, i got generally 2.3 GPA, why? coz i dont like and dont understand
what Economic subject talking about ! they're like the shit to me !
ask me to change my job, coz what i'm doing now is not counted as expenience.
what the hell is that...

well, i'm bored at my work place, i dont learn lots at my work place, it doesnt mean that
i'm NOT DOING A REGULAR JOB, right?!
i WONT change it TILL I REALLY WANNA CHANGE.

DONT SAY I M NOT PLANING FOR MY FUTURE. I'M DOING EVERYTING TO MAKE SURE MYSELF FINE.
i'm on transcation, WHICH I REALLY DONT WANT, but WHAT CAN I DO ???

Shut Up If YOu Cant Help ! i dont mean to be mean. but if you dont wanna piss me off,
just dont hurry me. i know what i'm doing now. i already have strong headache on it,
PLEASE dont even try to give me preasure like what you always do !
dont try to be my teacher when i dont think you are my teacher.
i wont listen if i dont think your advice good enough for me.

my parents are always the good parets. but you cant predict my future or compare me with other ppl !

i'm really feeling bad...
i dont like this.. everytime talk about serious things i feel like to cry.
if they just dont understand, i would be upset and tearing inside.
really dislike talking serious things with my dad. he keeps disappointed me everytime.
it hurts me so much. i really dislike discussing with him. everytime he thinks he's right.
he just thinks what is good for me, ALL ARE JUST THE EXPECTATIONS in his mind.
i'm not a doll PLZ. what suits me or not is not told by your mouth or other ppl. whatever...
just stop it !

>>December 10, 2006 at 5:40:27 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 8 日 星期五 【晴】

hummmmm

i was late to work today..
then, had been working...

i had on line time with honey.. and i had worked.
hummmmm ... . . . . .. . .
strange. someting was gonna happened, and i have weird feelings.
then in my turn, someting's supposed to be happening tonight.. and.. it's canceled.
it's like the fate.
he didnt... and i eventually didnt also.
maybe that's fate.

i should be dancing tonight, but it's canceled.
Ella and i both changed our mind.

>>December 9, 2006 at 3:05:13 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 8 日 星期五 【晴】

sometimes, when you dont expect anything, they come for no reasons.
when i expect something... ermmm,....... they might not come, for the same reasons.

i have been busy these few days... kindda tired...
Ella kept asking me " are you okay? " she said i look blue. "oh.. nothing, i'm just tired."
"for? ". then i say " everything". and she smiled.

she says tomorrow is a long day. then i think... for me, everyday should be long day.
Tue - Fri, she normally comes at 3 or 4, then work till 8 or 9.
no work on Mon. 1 or 2 classes on Sun. oh.. the busiest day is Sat, she comes at 11 till 8.
is that long hrs work? no way...
look at my schedule... from Mon - Sat, 10 30am - 8pm.
Sun, 1 class from 12 30 - 2 pm. i would probably have anotehr class on Sun ard 3pm.
see my schedule ? fuck ! i start getting sick of my schedule..
when everyone going to school sitting in class learning somethin new and interesting,
i'm sitting at office doing nothing or keep being busy...
when everyone hang out on weekend, i'm at WORK. if i wanna go out, i have to finish my WORK 1st.
i'm.... tired of this kind of schedule... no resting... no family life...
i eat at home always, but then after dinner, i went to the room watching my fav. tv show or staying
on line. i dont have much family life now... =(
well, i still could spend time with my honey, but.. you know what... if i'm home, my mom's home.
when i'm at office, i cant chat very freely, or just not so comfotable sometimes..
so, we cant really have our own time actually. honey has been patient with me...
but i'm the one not being patient sometimes..

just now, after work, i went to Body Shop did some shopping..
getting the stuff i really want.. the eye cream, the lotion and body butter... and then i have the gifts
from them also.. cool... and then just back home eatting dinner and watching movie.. hummmm...

where did my honey go today...
weird.

>>December 8, 2006 at 5:15:07 PM GMT+8

2006 年 12 月 7 日 星期四 【晴】

hummm you know what...
today has been a busy day and unlucky day.

i woke up three times, so as to see my honey. but he didnt come till i really prepare to leave.
then... back to office, i found out.... i didnt send the paper i've been working on back to the office.
oh my god.. then... i had been trying to install the webcam... fuck.. i was so pissed..
the webcam programme didnt work... then i called and called to the company..
then i downloaded the programme from internet and run it.
i asked honey for help... then yea... he was just there for me.. he's always so sweet being there
for me..

at lunch time, i rushed back to home, then rushing my lunch and working..
also have been on webcam...
then, being late again..
rushing to the bank paying bill for the book order, then went picking up the photo coppies..
and then, ran back to office... i missed the interview... so bad..
i'm so tired, kinda of pissed by stuffs and being tensed for things at work..
coz everything seems urgent, and i m not... very ready for things well.
you could see i'm always late for this or that, i dont have good preparation.

things seem easy done, but on my position it's not. coz... i've given myself too much preasure i guess.
and then... at my work time, i always do my personal stuffs, such as chating with honey and
doing readings. i cut down alot already. dont really have time to read or write letter...
but like what i say, spending time with my love is one of the happiest thing in the world.
he helps me lots, when i'm sad, or stressed about work or kids or family or whatever, even the
personal things, i would talk with him.... and he's always there for me... he really listens to me.
he usually give me some strange responses (for me), hummmm somehow i dont find him strange,
i find comfortable. i'm so weird i guess..

we talk about my bad day, my work, my students (so pissed off by Fiona today), my family...
i guess i just love this man to make me .... open up myself, willing to share everything with him,
and feel comfotable. he's not the best one in the world, but he's my specialist man.
i think... i start to understand more.... that... there's some invisable bond and attraction between him
and me. i dont know how the future would be like, i just want him, stick with him.
with him, i'm not afraid.
love is the dangerous thing.. haha...

Fiona was kinda of rude to me.
Alex likes me, when he plays with me he would bully me.
my cousin Ricky knows i'm his cousin, so he didnt dare to bully me haha..
Ken is coming to join my class soon, and he's another monkey, i'm so afraid honestly.
i feel so much stress recently, coz i ve been very busy and without enough rest.
lucky i have my honey Stephen supporting me and sharing with me..

i'm stressed about teaching. i've talk with honey.. and about work stuffs..
i'm thinking about what he says.
i've a talk with Ella today... about my students and i...
she was laughing... she asked me not to care what my students say about me (Fiona).

i used to be pretty strong at high school, that makes many students admire me and like me,
in a way scared of me. haha.. and after a few years, i become a girl who's afriad or tired of being
strong. wha ti'm doing now is... just a part-time tutor, should i be that responsible to my kids?
yes, absolutely even though i dont have any pay for that.
i dont want my kids suffer learning english with me. it's not just the homework club tutoring homework
only. i want it be a fun learning place for them to explore more in english language.
so, i m not usually strict to my kids. unless they're out of control or they make me very angry.
i need to find a way... i'm always building up my own way... good luck cas...

hummmm after class, i had been busy for the leaflets and some discussions with Ella.
hummmmm pretty stress actually. lots of data updating to do actually.
then everday back home, i'm damn tired... ahhh... i really wanna have my honey home...

i love my family though, i love my frineds though... i dont know...
we will see...

stress and tired..

anyway, thanks for Mei Wen's call ! i miss her ! she's one of my best buddies at my old college..
humm see when i could have time to meet up.. sigh.

i have so much tings wanna do, but.. all is holding on.. coz i dont have time to do so,
and i'm pretty tired.. i just wonder having a long break , maybe one month staying home or just being
free to do whatever i want. sleep well, watching tv & movie, making food, exercise, lots of reading,
ice skating, walking, hanging out with friends, sitting in the coffe shop quietly.. how lovely it is...
oh yea... i will meet my honey in March hee.. and this would be so nice hahaha...
i dont know how it would be like, i'm just taking step by step to make it work.
pray for me please...

>>December 7, 2006 at 4:50:37 PM GMT+8