2006 年 10 月 12 日 星期四 【晴】

hummmmmm

today morning is quite busy...
then lunch time is fine..
Ella told me that... the internet fee was like... $1000.
it's unbelivable.

anyway...
i ve been.... calculating my bank balance.
making a plan to go back to Van in Jan in stead of Dec.
hummmmmmmmmm...
it could work. now, this biggest problem is about my parents.
then... if i could firgue out all the small "supprises", then all would be fine.
i will be there in Jan.

>>October 13, 2006 at 1:50:53 PM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 11 日 星期三 【晴】

here i am again.

i'm sick. i dont know what's wrong with my body.
i just know i'm damn tired, lack of energy and... feeling not well with my throat.
i feel cold, and i feel hot, then feel cold again.

i can finally connect to the internet again, yay~

feeling sick though... so heavy...
headache.. bad.

tomorrow i gotta work... damn... i ve to cut lots of leaflets... making them in 10 pieces ?
i think thats too much. there're total 300 0f them. how am i gonna make it?
oh my god.. i dont find this job amazing anymore.
anyway, i got a new student today. Jonathan. oh... he's also P.1, 6 y.o.
oh.. ha.. he's cute.. but.. you know.. he doesnt focus also.
today i jsut helped him finish a homework, not being in class though.
we dont have any class today. but as his mom request, then i can help, so.. yea.. i just help him
right in front of the desk. good.

back to home.. i bought some cookies.. nice..
i'm planing the next class too. tinking to give some writting worksheets,
or doing some simple activities in the end of the class.
i have a small problem. how're we gonna do the revision together?
we have 3 kids now. they're all going to have test soon. i'm quite sick..
i'm not worried, just thinking of what to give them on the next class.

during lunch time, Queenie and aunt Prscilla were talking with me, well one by MSN, one by phone.
they concnern on my trip. thanks girls. hummm Ella also asked.. thanks..
hummm i ve no decision yet. i'm always ... thinking of the ways to make things happen.
and i'm also thinking of my parents. i do want to respect them right?
and i got one time about suddenly going on trip before. that time was going to SG..
at that time i had finished my school for the Associate degree. so...
that was not too supprised.. yea,.. acceptable, right?
but then time is like.. i'm just back. why go there again ? and they know.. i love Vancouver so much.
they know i didnt wanan come back.. so... this time if i really go there.. i dont know.. what they feel.
i dont wanna hurt my family. if this is gonna affect the relationship with my parents,
how am i gonna deal with it? Dear concern on it alot. coz.. he doesnt want me to have a hard
relationship with my parents. he does want my parents like him, too. but the thing is.. he cant come
right now. so.. yea.... i'm very confused. what if my parnets dont want me to go.
then, at that time i would have bought the ticket already?
when i think about that, it makes my headache stronger.
Dear wants me to go there as soon as possible. i ask myself what do i really want to do.
that's the point. i cant keep doing things for ppl. i should think about myself.
if my friends or family or whoever dont want me to go then i dont go, it's not me.
if my dear wants me to go then no matter what i ve to go, i'm sorry that's not me either.
castor, what do you want.
dont bother about the seat problems.just answer yourself, what 're you looking for, waiting for,
and what do you actually want. just go for it.

Jesus... thank you... and please tell me... how to firgue out it. i'm searching for the right road to go.
i'm not searching for the everyone-like one, not searching for the repeating-right-answer..
i'm waiting for the one from you, especially for me.
i cant afford too much regrets. sometimes, i feel like i regret enough. or maybe i still need more
lessons... but.. i need to move on right? i need to grow up.
i dont know... if i feel like it's right to do, i should trust myself, right?
i might be wrong, i might regret, but i should stand for myself for the things i agree with, is it ?

>>October 12, 2006 at 4:06:18 PM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 11 日 星期三 【晴】

hummm...
being sick...
i feel cold and sudenly i feel hot. then i feel cold again..
i dont feel well with my throat.
sometimes i feel like to puke. i think i get a cold. but not serious, maybe the war is happening in my body now.

yesterday, the kids were fine. i had three students yesterday.
Kelvin was like the external of control. he would blame everything about others, not himself,
but feeling shame of himself. it's hard for me to teach him. coz he's too forgetful.
i checked on my text book last night, i think he might have some small problems on the information
processing. it's normal i guess ? i need to spend more time to observe his behaviors in class.
he's sometimes werid. he's smart on some small things, but when it comes to english, he couldnt
really focus, he always talk about the past and the performance at school. then he would start to
blame otehrs, not himself. he felt shamed and deny for his ability again. he couldnt put any information
about Eng in mind. it's ike he's refusing to learn. i dont know. his mom said his math and chinese re good.
i need to spend more time and be more more more patient to Kelvin.
it's kindda like the war though. he's so fast to find excuse and quite smart on it.
Alex is like a smart kid. he's from my primary school also =) heehee. TPMS. nice school.
then.... he learns fast, and remember well. it's a good thing. since he could learn much and recieve
information fast, i would just give him more new things, and keep up with his school.
he'll have test soon, i hope i could help him a bit on it.

well.. after work, i back home watching the end of the "basic instinct 2".
f*ck.. the ending is the man need the treatment. the woman is fine ? hahahahaha...
it's so bad... but it's nice. the movie is nice. well, they do have lots of porn sence,
but the thing is.. the story is great =P
i cant use beautiful words to express my feelings or describe this movie. it's just great.

then... i kept watching tv... ER yea.. spending time with my fmaily..
then... before sleep, i ve a chat with mom.
i've been planing to start a small small small business for myself.
hummmmmm it's not good to have an open talk here. yea.

today is Thurs again.
Time Flys..
still remember last ice skating was not long ago.. the day after tomorrow would be weekend again.
cool~~~!!!
i wanna go ice skating... but i know there're not much ppl wanna go with me ! haha..
yea, and my friend asked me like.. ice skating is not very high potential in burning fat.
hahaha... true.. but i want to exercise a bit a t least ! then yea it's fun to walk on the ice.
then i might meet up aunt Prscilla on Sun or Sat.
i wanna go ice skating.......................................................................

i didnt call to the internet company to complain eventually.
i think the man is coming to check again later. hope all would be fine.


by the way, dear like the necklace =) heehee.
hummm yea... i'm still checking on the ticket thing.
thinking of the time and... some more detials.
and the most important thing is... thinking about... how to tell my parents...
they might be quite angry..

>>October 12, 2006 at 3:35:16 AM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 10 日 星期二 【晴】

the connection at home broken down again.
i was quite angry. they came fix the connection 3 times in 2 months. actually ard 1 month only.
i questioned the tele man that what 's going on with our area.
he said it's the problem of outside, not at our home, and they will fix it right again.
i started to be impatient.
i was thinking like... What The Hell ! you actually know that's not my problem, it's your damn company
faults, and you tried fixing it 3 times in 2 months ! you charged me so expensive every months, i am
INNOCENT !
you told me the qouta is fulled for checking/maintance of your day. GO ASK YOUR MANAGER !
why you ask your customers suffered with you ?! if you CANT make sure you have the BEST service,
why you chagre the HIGHEST ????
everytime after checkign is fine. (NOPE !), actually it's NOT!
it's usually getting worse ! WHAT THE... !!!!

i was angry talking with him. i just asked, why everytime is the same problem???
last time you fixed it, and it got worse ! you came again and it's fine "just right afterward!"
then you came for the 3rd time ! WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE???
you know that's not my problem ! (oh we will check it again) When will you come?
(the day after tomorrow) why you cant come tomorrow??? (the qouta is full).
* SILENCE.... then i said " FINE ".
i'm gonna call again ! this time i ve to let him know that's their damn responsiblities !
if this company cant make sure there'll be no the fucking troubles, i will stop paying !
no network, no service, dare they ask me for the pay.
they make my sisters cant finish the homework on time, they bother me so many times !
they broke down my connection to ppl !

yesterday job was okay.
checking out locations for leaflets/adv.
doing some leaflet things, helping Ella.

i didnt come on line last night,
i've watched the movie "Basic Instinct 2", i vent finished yet.
it sounds good. it's like a psychology movie. the woman is very smart at game.

then i've been watching tv with dad. so long havent really sit down watching tv with dad.
it's like 1month already. then he went to bath room, and i watched ER by myself.
i slept at 1 40 am.

i wasnt feeling nice, a bit of sick.
i wasnt feeling good about the kiss thing, either.
and i've been checking out the price.
it's like.... HKD 6000 for a round trip to Van in Dec, for 35 days.
i'm planing to go to Van in Dec and back in Jan, probably for 3 weeks or more.
the ticket is the E-Ticket. i need to pay on line. i dont have the credit card.
fine. i'll think about that. otherwise i should buy the ticket from the angcy. it cost 1000 more.
headache... i dont know. i should make the decision fast.
castor, you ask yourself, do you really wanna go back to Van.
if it's just for a man, are you really willing to do it for him. coz it's very difficult, and you might find
that actually you work too hard. are you ready ?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
here i got a very nice script attached in the e-mail from someone i dont know.
firstly i ve to say this is the great artical with LOTS OF ADV.



Life is wonderful… and although you know it’s a little soon, you start to feel like this actually could be “it”.

There’s fun, passion, romance. Amazing conversations, laughs, inside jokes…

It all feels so “right” that it wouldn't surprise you if you two could spend the rest of your love lives together and stay deeply connected and in love.

While you know it’s a little soon to start thinking “that way”… you make up your mind that you’re definitely ready for a committed relationship with him… You want him and no one else. And you'd like him to only be with YOU.

But the reality is that you don't know exactly how to tell him the way you're feeling, or to find out if he really feels the same way too.

Although, after all the things he's said and done with you, and all the time you've spent together, you're pretty sure he feels the same about you.

You decide to “play it cool” and see where this leads...

But as the days pass, you find yourself hoping he will say something to you… picturing the moment when he will finally open up, share his deeper feelings, and ask you to be “his”…

But before you know it… weeks have gone by… and nothing…

Soon a few months have gone by… and you’re starting to wonder what’s really going on…

Sure… it’s still fun… but where are things going?

You find your head filling with unanswered questions…

“Where are we going with this?”

“Does he feel it too?”

“Why hasn’t he asked me to be his girlfriend?”

“Is he seeing other people?”

“Is this all a game to him?”

“Maybe he's not feeling as serious about this as I am!?”

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???”

You've been patient, but it’s driving you nuts… you have to know.

You decide to bring it up, in the most casual way possible…

But when you do, he just doesn’t seem to “get it”.

Maybe he says a few shallow things like, “What do you mean? We’ve only been dating for a few months!” or… “Everything is great the way it is now!”

Or worse yet... he completely avoids the conversation, won't open up, and acts like YOU are the one being difficult.

Then... over the next few days, he becomes more and more distant… things definitely aren’t the same.

The phone calls aren’t as frequent… communication seems “forced” and awkward…

And eventually… it stops completely… and the “unthinkable” happens… he’s gone. One minute he seemed to be Mr. Right, and the next he’s gone. And all you have to show for it is a cold, empty feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Every once in awhile, a man will meet a woman and KNOW very quickly - without a smidgeon of doubt - that he wants to be with HER and only HER. I’m talking about the situation where a man knows he wants to be with ONE WOMAN because it FEELS RIGHT on a deep emotional level.

And here’s something else you should know:

When this happens, THE MAN will usually be the one to push for a long-term commitment.

And you won’t have to do anything but keep being the great partner that you are and help him with the things he wants to do to keep you both CLOSE and TOGETHER.

I’m sure you’ve had at least one friend that the men ALWAYS seemed to pursue… and it seemed like they were in the “one up” position. Or maybe this has happened to you before… but you don’t exactly know how or why it happened… or more importantly, how to repeat it with a guy you REALLY want…

A woman that TRULY captures a man’s heart will:


Make a man FEEL, through experience, that he’s BETTER OFF being with YOU than being single, spending most of his time with his friends, or “sleeping around”.

AND…


Show a man, on a physical AND emotional level, that he’s BETTER OFF being with YOU than ANY OTHER WOMAN HE COULD POSSIBLY MEET.


Let’s talk about why these things are so important… and exactly how to make a man feel these things with YOU…


How To Make A Man Feel
He Is Much Better Off With YOU
Than Being Single…


I’ll admit… though I’m in a great relationship with a truly wonderful woman right now, being a single man was fun.

Like all men, deep down I was looking for something more… but it was easy to forget about that and “live” a little bit…

I know it might not be your favorite thing to hear, but most men are “designed” by nature to be able to sleep with a lot of women. Men have a “drive” that’s part of their long time role in nature.

Of course, this is not the way most WOMEN were designed…

Right now I’m going to show you some of the deeper “subconscious” processes going on with men, so stick with me for a quick second here. Recognizing these will bring you a whole new “level” of understanding and CLARITY about men, dating and commitment that will quickly help you move forward and experience GROWTH in your love life.

Here’s the thing…

While a man is physically capable of conceiving a child with several women at a time… a woman is only capable of conceiving a child and giving birth about once a year…

At the same time, the intense desire for love, intimacy and consistent emotional connection aren’t “wired” into a man’s brain the same way it is for most women.

Sure… these things are in there for most men… and deep down, being truly loved is what all men want.

But when I say “deep down”, I mean it.

In fact… for men, the desire for love and intimate connection is often buried under other layers of “wiring”. Such as the desire to do things like PROVIDE (financial success) or REPRODUCE (sex).

Give me a silent nod if you’ve ever seen a man value financial success or casual sex more than love and connection.

Ok, so you’re with me here… Good.

With the strong impulses of this other level of “wiring”, it’s easy for a man TO FORGET about his “love wiring”. In fact, sometimes men will even think and behave in ways that are IN DIRECT CONFLICT with their impulses to find real love and deep connection.

Let’s land the plane on all this “subconscious” stuff…

In order for you to make a man feel that he is better off being with YOU than he is living the “single life” and going around and sleeping with a lot of women… or focusing obsessively on his career until he has enough money to support a family and THEN he’ll start looking for love… you need to remind him of the benefits that a deep, connected, loving relationship brings… and UNLOCK those hidden feelings inside of him.

Now, this isn’t something you can do just by talking about it. The key is to actually get him to EXPERIENCE those feelings when he’s around you.

Fortunately it’s easy to do – ESPECIALLY when he already has feelings of ATTRACTION for you. There are EXACT STEPS you can take to turn those feelings of attraction into feelings of intimacy, passion, and LONG TERM connection.

And here’s the best part:

Because so few women know how to help a man get in touch with this side of himself – the part of himself that all men secretly LONG to share - when YOU are the one that helps him to do it, he’ll automatically start experiencing a deep connection with you and want to keep it alive and GROWING.

And guess what that means?

He will be wanting a COMMITMENT from YOU.


Make Him FEEL, Not Think, That
YOU Are His Best Possible Choice


It really can be as easy as what we just covered above.

When a woman gives a man these feelings, it flips an invisible “trigger” in his heart that sends a powerful signal through his brain and into every fiber of his body… making him want to be with HER night and day… and no one else…

A word of caution here – some guys can start getting JEALOUS at this point when they feel such a strong desire to be the only man in a woman’s life.

But worry about that when you get there. Let’s GET YOU THERE first.

The reality here is that a guy WILL NOT willfully commit to you unless you flip this “switch”. And no amount of pleading, begging, withholding, etc. will work.

Sure… you might be able to “force” a man into a relationship… but it WON’T be the kind of relationship you want.

On the other hand… when you DO flip this switch and trigger these thoughts… HE will be the one asking YOU to commit… EVERY TIME.

And… there will be NOTHING anyone can do to stop him!

No amount of logic, pleading from his single “bar buddies”, or OTHER WOMEN will be able to change his mind.


The Secret To A Fulfilling,
“Cheat Proof” Relationship


There are many reasons why people cheat… but I would say the number one reason why a man cheats is not because men are dogs (though some men behave like dogs of a “nasty breed”) but because the woman he is with hasn’t flipped that “one and only” switch inside of his heart.

And kept the switch turned on.

Of course, it works in a similar way for women with men… If a man gets into a committed relationship with a woman, and then he STOPS doing all the amazing things he used to do that let her know he was the right guy and would make their love life together infinitely fulfilling, then the woman will start to feel differently about the man and the relationship after time.

It’s a fact: When a guy finds himself in a relationship with a woman that he DOESN’T feel is the “only” one for him and who can share the positive emotional and physical experiences he knows are possible in his life, he will SUBCONSCIOUSLY start looking to find the woman who is.

If you want a man to be faithful to you… it’s a MUST that you flip this “trigger”. Because if YOU don’t, a man will either subconsciously, or even consciously, look to find those experiences and emotions somewhere else.

But there’s good news here too…

Once you know the steps to lead a man through this process, it’s relatively easy to take your relationship with a man from “casual” to a deeply committed, intimate level where he will continue to look for, and find, the physical and emotional satisfaction he’s looking for with YOU and ONLY YOU.

Right now I’d like to show you how…


How To Take Your Relationship From
“Casual” To “Committed” In A Way That
Makes Your Man THRILLED With The
Thought Of Becoming Closer To You…
Instead Of Wanting To Withdraw…

The program is called, “From Casual To Committed – What Every Woman Needs To Know About How To Move From A ‘Casual’ Dating Situation With A Man Into A Secure, Lasting, Committed Relationship”.

I created this program because I wanted to help women to better understand that there are important and critical steps in moving from the everyday, “hanging out”, undefined relationship with a man to a relationship with a spoken verbal, physical, and emotional commitment… and that these things don’t happen all by themselves.

Everyone knows that relationships have roadblocks that must be crossed, but unfortunately we sometimes create these roadblocks without knowing it… and expect the other person in the relationship to get us through them and figure out the answer for us…

I don’t need to tell you that this is a recipe for disaster… and it happens all too often.

Don’t leave the fate of your love life and your relationship IN THE HANDS OF A MAN who is much less likely than you are to steer you both into a fulfilling, loving, lasting relationship together.

It’s time to take responsibility and control of your love life.

It’s time to finally KNOW what will make a real committed relationship WORK.

It’s time to learn exactly how to create the secure and committed situation for yourself with a man that will start to GIVE BACK the amazing gifts love and relationships have to offer.

Let me ask you…

What if you finally had a “map” that told you where to go next in YOUR SPECIFIC SITUATION?

Wouldn’t just being able to ORIENT yourself correctly be extremely valuable to you? And what if the map didn’t just show you where you were RIGHT NOW, but it also showed you what was IN FRONT OF YOU… and how to get to where you wanted to go?

Then something else subtle but magical would happen for you… I know because I’ve seen it before.

You’d also be more COMFORTABLE, CONFIDENT and CERTAIN about where you were going… which would have a “doubling” effect on helping you actually get to where you wanted to go in your relationship.

So the question is… Is there a “map” like this?

And if so… would you want to get your hands on it?

Well, the “map” is one of the things I’ve created for you with this program. Inside it, I CLEARLY outline what the ACTUAL STEPS are that a woman can take to avoid the common roadblocks men create in moving past the “casual dating” stage… and how to smoothly arrive in a committed situation with a man that you both cherish and grow together.

By the way, you should know… these are the steps TONS of other women go their entire lives NEVER figuring out… as they stumble from one “dead-end” relationship to another, blaming themselves, and becoming less and less “open” and optimistic about ever finding what they want with a man.

You’ve seen what this can do to a woman – push her farther away from ever being able to create what she wants in her love life.

From how men see and experience “dating” differently from “relationships”, and how you can use this information to understand why a man will actually seek MORE FREEDOM once he’s in a committed relationship than he did when you were just dating…

To how men will often subconsciously work to create “uncommitted relationships” with women, what these are, how to know if you’re in one, and how to quickly grow past this TOGETHER into something deeper…

To the differences between a MATURE and an IMMATURE MAN. (Most women I meet have had very few, if any, mature male’s in their life who they can look to, talk to and compare other men to, so they can determine if what is happening is “normal” or a real “issue”.)

To how and why a man can share a deep connection with a woman, stop dating other women, give her his full attention and “love”, think that she’s unique and amazing, and then CHOOSE to be single. (I explain, in detail, the specific CONTRADICTIONS that are going on inside a man when something like this happens, and how to deal with these.)

And those are just a few of the insights I share and common situations you are almost guaranteed to encounter when you and a man move towards deeper levels of commitment.

This program was put together by a man (me) who, frankly, has gone through a lot of his own challenges and growth in the exact areas I’m talking about…

In other words, I really used to be “that guy” who made all the bad choices and mistakes in my relationships. But after going through a lot of pain and frustration in my life, and making the same mistakes men often make with great women in their lives over and over, I decided I’d had enough. I made a commitment TO MYSELF to become MORE CONSCIOUS about why I felt and acted the way I did.

I wanted to end my own personal patterns and cycles of destructive behavior in relationships with women which kept leading me back to the place where I was ALONE.

After time, reflection, and lots of help from other people who were already at a higher level of “development” than I was, I thankfully made some amazing breakthroughs.

After sticking with it for several years, I finally decided it was time to share what some of these realizations, “awarenesses” and growth points were in this program… because I knew they could help other people… especially women who were looking to understand men better and have an easier time moving forward in their relationships with them.

That’s why I’ve also spent months and years studying, reading, learning from other sources and experts… and turned my eye to observing other people with different experiences - both men and women who had been through the things I was looking at.

And I was lucky enough to eventually find and connect with several amazing people, who also knew FASCINATING things in this area, but from a different perspective than mine.

This is when it all started to come together…

Based on the response I’ve already had from the women who experienced this program live, I was able to do just that.

The program not only walks you through the psychological, emotional, and behavioral FOUNDATIONS to how commitment really works in the real world...

In other words, there’s information delivered both in a “general” or conceptual way... to give you the big picture of how commitment works with a man… but also specific exercises, experiences and step-by-step diagrams on how the COMMITMENT PROCESS starts, grows, and can often be broken or interrupted.

And by the way, the COMMITMENT PROCESS is different for a man and a woman. Not completely different, but different.

If you don’t know how, and you don’t know why, then even when you are in a committed relationship, growing together and becoming closer will be an ongoing challenge filled with RESISTANCE.


Here are just a few of the other powerful secrets you’ll learn inside:

The deadly mistake nearly all women make that makes a guy put his guard up INSTANTLY… and refuse to take it down (If you’ve ever had a guy completely disappear from your life after having “the talk” with him, it’s probably because you made this common mistake)

A proven 3-step strategy to find out if a guy is “relationship material” early on (Here’s a surefire way to find out exactly what type of person he is very soon after meeting him… so you can either cut your loses or know with CONFIDENCE that you’ve found a “catch”)


A man’s secret communication “button” (Here’s a simple way to get him to open up to you and tell you EXACTLY how he feels)


The specific, step-by-step process to move your relationship from “casual” to “committed”, naturally and effortlessly… without experiencing that typical “male” resistance


How to get your man to come up with HIS OWN reasons to commit to you… and get him to ask YOU to get serious first


How to initiate “the talk” with a man in a way that makes him EXCITED about getting closer to you


What to do if your guy is “blowing you off” when you try to talk about your relationship with him


4 common communication mistakes that make a man feel like you are pestering and manipulating him


A big mistake women make that makes a man feel “smothered” in the relationship and actually makes him MISS being single (This mistake is one of the biggest causes of breakups, and it’s important that you know what it is)


How to understand and control your own internal conflicts and emotions, so you don’t make mistakes that you WOULDN’T have made if you didn’t care so much about the situation


The only SUREFIRE way to know with 100% accuracy whether or not a guy is into you for the long-term, or if you are wasting your time


The thing that certain women do that allows a men to be with her for weeks or even MONTHS yet NOT want to be in a relationship with her… even if he is exclusive with her


The 4 ingredients every relationship MUST have to be successful (Miss any one of these and he will be gone in a heartbeat)


Why a relationship is a naturally challenging thing to a man, and how to help your man deal with and get through his own internal conflicts (A little secret: Men WANT to work through these things but usually don’t know how… so when YOU are the one to help him do it he will feel closer to you than he ever has with a woman before)


Ever feel like you are doing all of the hard work in a relationship while your man is dragging his feet? Here’s the reason why this happens… and how to change things around so that your man is working with you instead of against you to become closer and more connected


3 things men do to MASK the fact that they are IMMATURE – here’s how to spot and identify the “players”, “losers”, and little boys so you don’t waste your time and end up getting hurt


3 strategies women use to get a man to commit to them that are guaranteed to REPEL him… and even make him dislike you (The sad thing is that society teaches us that these manipulative tactics WILL WORK… but in reality they never do)


How your body and attitude can say “needy” and “clingy” to a guy without you knowing it


A way to communicate that you are the perfect woman for him (Most importantly… doing this makes a man FEEL that you are his best possible choice… and the ONLY woman he should be with)


An exercise to figure out what YOU really need in order to have the most loving, fulfilling relationship possible (This simple 5-minute exercise will help you identify what it is you need to feel the HAPPIEST and MOST FULFILLED… because you have to KNOW what you want in order to get it)


Why men feel like it would be best to just “date forever” (Here’s what you MUST do if you want your man to see a committed relationship with you as his BEST CHOICE)


How to get your man out of the “swinging single” mindset and into the “relationship” mindset (Your man MUST make this mental shift if he’s going to commit to you, and he knows it. Here’s an easy way to show him that a strong, deep connection with someone special is actually much more fulfilling than meaningless “flings”)


A simple exercise to permanently rid yourself of any negative beliefs and “bad programming” that might be holding you back from finding and experiencing true love with a man who deserves you


How to tell if your relationship is where it should be (Many women make the mistake of thinking things are moving too slow with a man when in reality they are going just fine. Here’s exactly how to know when you can relax… and when you need to make something happen)


How to figure out exactly where your man is in the commitment process – what’s on his mind – how he feels, and exactly what you need to do next to make him YOURS


NEWSFLASH: A woman will almost always want a commitment BEFORE a man does… which can create conflict and unnecessary heartache. Here’s a way to “sync” things up and get him on the same level you are so you don’t get hurt


A 7-step method to take your already great relationship to exciting new levels of love and connection


How to create and amplify a man’s ATTRACTION for you (The single best way to stop him from EVER wanting another woman)


A clever way to have “the talk” with a man that ALL men actually LOVE!


The 5-steps of the actual “talk” – Here’s how to smoothly lead your man through each one and end up with the commitment you want… while also making him feel with 100% confidence that being with you is the BEST thing to ever happen to him


How to smoothly mend any negative situation or fight you have with your man quickly… even if hurtful things have been said


A Deeper Level Of Love And Connection…


By the time you finish going through this program, you’ll also gain these 7 important insights:


A clear understanding of what the commitment process is, and how it works for a man


An understanding of a man’s subconscious resistance to commitment… why all men experience it… and how to make him want to let his guard down with YOU


How to have a loving relationship without “work” or unnecessary stress


How to experience higher and deeper levels of connection inside of your relationship… and connect with your man in a way that no woman EVER has before


How to transition into a relationship FASTER… and skip meaningless “dating” and “hanging out”


How to ALWAYS know exactly where you and your man are “at” in a relationship without ever having to ask him


How to make a faster transition from a committed relationship to the a life-long commitment of marriage (if that’s want you’re looking for)


The Little-Known Secret To
Making Love LAST…


I don’t need to tell you that just as important as leading a man to want to enjoy a loving, committed relationship with you is KEEPING the passion and excitement alive… and continuing to grow.

If a relationship isn’t growing, it’s DYING… and perhaps the most important thing you will learn in this program is how to continue to strengthen the bond between you and your man, for years and years and years… keeping that fire of intimacy burning FOREVER.

I want you to experience the life-long love that you’ve been dreaming about, and this program will show you EXACTLY how to do it.

When you're looking for lasting change and improvement in any area of your life, one of the single most important things to do is to find, meet and learn from the people who are already experts in the area that you're looking for change or growth in.

The world of dating, relationships and love is no exception…

It's common to think that you should somehow just know everything you need to know “naturally” when it comes to men and relationships.

In fact, lots of women (and men) can't stand to admit that they don't know everything there is to know about the opposite sex and this whole area of their lives.

But it's when things stop going “according to plan” (like when a man gets distant, scared or decides he isn't ready for a commitment, or stops “feeling it” for a woman) that we all realize that we're not the experts we had hoped we were…

If you're serious about finding true love, one of the single most important things you will ever do is to surround yourself with other people who ALREADY KNOW how to get there… and have seen and dealt with all the problems you're running into.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>October 11, 2006 at 4:09:11 AM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 8 日 星期日 【晴】

hummmmm tired.. tired... tired...

hummmm okay... ve been working and chating with my dear Stephen at the same time.
then i went out do some printing and then go banking..
then back buy the sushi for lunch... eating and chating with Stephen also.

then we had been chating on line... so crazy... i wonder what i'm doing these days..
i dont actually work much... sucks... but fine...
i ve class today.... two little monkeys....
Kelvin just doesnt listen to me. Alex is sooooo nosiy... ahhhhhh... but it was fun haha.
i taught them color today, help them with their dictation.
i bought the marshmallo, teach them to speak marshmallo. so hard to teach..
even just the simple words.. they forget in another 5 mins... it takes soooooo long to put the words
in their minds.. but then anotehr 20 mins, they will give me back.

anyway..
i had been on line all day long till i ve my class.
so crazy talks today !!!
and then we discuss for so many serious things.

nice song!!!! from Kary Ng:
吳雨霏-座右銘


Janice 衛蘭 【愛才MV】


Janice: In Love Again


千里之外


The Lake House!!!!


Stars re Blind


>>October 9, 2006 at 3:19:53 PM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 7 日 星期六 【晴】

hehe~~

today.... i woke up... after lunch went out to meet my aunt.
i watched the part one of the movie " I Not stupid Too ", from the Singapore one.
haha quite funny. we all laughed.

then... went to Festival Walk, .... having coffee with aunt at Starbuks.
then we walked around... she checks on the make up stuffs..
then... i got the sms from dear. hummmm i thought he was on line....
then.. i called abck, we talk for awhile.. he asked me about my moon festival night here..
i told him what happened on the that night... he seems a bit angry-- "what the hell".
and then.. he's happy for me to leave the resturant. thank you dear..
yea, then i told him about last night =P i got checked by the police hahaha...
well, i love to talk with him.. he's my darling baby..
i love to hear what he calls me too heehee... sweet.

well, after that, aunt and me hang around..
then we had KFC for dinner... quite full.. i cant finish those chicken.
then,... we went to Causeway bay.
we droped down some mooncakes for her friend, then... she sent me to the bus stop~~
thanks aunt Prscilla~~ ^^
hummmmmmm.... we discussed about he airticket. she knows i wanan go back to Van in Jan.
she doesnt stop me. she says she'll help me checking the price. and then.. haha..
she also wanna go back in Jan ! hahaha... funny huh~ we could go back to Van together.
i dont know.. i say it depends on the ticket price.
she asked me not to stay at dear's home first. stay with friends or with her first haha..

hummmmmmmmmmm... we discussed about the christmas time also.

oh yea!!
tomorrow would be the Thanks Giving !
hummm.. cool...

and i just checked what to do for my coming class on Wed.
i plan to do some simple craft with my studetns, to teach them about color with full sentence.

>>October 8, 2006 at 4:15:12 PM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 7 日 星期六 【晴】

hihi...

i slept for 11 hrs last night?
oh... then i came on line... left dear a few messages..
then i rushed out to visit my grandpa. my treat today, dim sum.
he had the lonly festival by himself last night.. so.. yea i asked mom, why not just go visit him
today and have lunch with him. then mom asked.. if that d be my treat? oh okay sure! no problems.
yea... we had a nice time.

heehee... i called my dear today when i was in the resturant.
chatting with him for a few mins...
I LOVE HIM !!!

then... my sister, Miki, and me hang around Sha Tin.. then... yea she went home by herself,
then i just meet up Rami at Admirty. we hang around, with Sunny also.
we talk about school stuffs, teaching stuffs, about the kids in his class, marriage.. life...
we're both not married. he broke up with his girl. but funny when we discuss about culture stuffs.
and then.. in his lap top, i saw his pics when he was in UK or the States.
well, and i aslo heard the songs of his home country. wah..... that's really really cultural.
it's kindda like the Indian song... i dont really... enjoy about it. the melody is very special and not
enjoyable for me. but that's fun though. coz i know more about the different cultures.
and you know... we were sitting outside his old school. then the police came..
the officers checked our id cards. what the.....
i said that's my first time to be checked. hahahaha... it's not nice !!! nope, the police were so gentelment
and polite to me.. but i just dont like to be checked!!! coz it's weird..
they usually dont check on girls, or whoever look like hk ppl.
they usually check on whoever looks like mainland-er or brown.
they told me they ve been checking for a few times already.
it's embarassed.. coz... they were drinking and they smoked. I AM SOBER.
what's so nice to be checked when i'd never done anything =P

anyway, fun =)

oh.... i'm gonna sleep very very soon....
is my dear coming on line ?
i miss him so much...
when i can see him on web cam again... i really miss him lots and lots...
i wanna kiss him.

hey...
this is fun:


>>October 7, 2006 at 6:07:54 PM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 5 日 星期四 【晴】

hummmmmmm....

last night i slept ard 1 30 am..
anyway... dear might be busy with some ppl ard.
hummm.... i dont know..

i had my work day today.
very tired...
what a fun thing that i kept calling to the Cebu Airline since 11 am to 1 pm.
it was crazy... the line has been engaged or they just dont pick up my call !
what the fuck! the phone was so heated up. i was just helping Ella's parnets to re-arrange their flights.

then... i called Capella, hahaha... she was supprised ! she's so cute.. i miss her...
hummm i chatd with her for long... till i rushed out for my lunch.
i really want to see her in Dec !! i miss her!! she will come back in Dec.
i went to the post office to send a letter to my dear Stephen..
then.. the postal officer regonize me... he said he mis-charged me.
he said it was supposed to be 150 +... woo... it was trible what. and he charged me doubble only.
he said he'd never regonized custoemrs, but he regonized me when i walk in saying hi to him.
hahahaha... thanks man. i asked if i should pay back then he said it's past already hohoho =P
thanks man !!!

then... i bought a donut and some sushi back to office..
having my small lunch time with the computer. have been eating sushi forl unch lately..
hummm was chatting with dear till 3 pm... then Ella was back, then i just logged off.
then i called dear ard 4 pm... then... we ve been on phone for... 50 mins.
i dont care about Ella or the kids or parents hahaha.. hee.. but i do take care of my job first.
we've been chatting for some girl stuffs today, and then sorts of his things and then we mostly
talk about my school stuffs. he's very professional !!! oh my god.. yea he reminds me lots..
gave me some suggestions though... he didnt force me to make decision for him.. so sweet..
i think the school is kindda good or bad.. coz... yea... i dont know how to say..
and then i might go back to Van in Jan for him. yes, for him, my dear Stephen only.
he said i would just need a ticket to go, i dont ve to worry for the other things.
yea, i'm gonna stay at his place if i go. i would probably stay for a couple of weeks.
i'm not sure how i'm gonna make it. but i will try.. and need to check the ticket price.
i'm so happy to chat with him today..
i told him.. sometimes i'm very worried for him, coz he seems very upset and stress.
i dontk now what i can do, but yea...
he's a tough guy. he would be fine.
i love him.

hummm ve been quite free at office.....
then i saw my cousin Ricky ! haha.. he's taller ! good. then i saw my uncle and aunt. =)
hummm
i ve been on phone right? then some paretns were at office actually. it was kindda embarassed.
coz... the kids re around too. sometimes there're some kids outside yelling hello to me haha.. fun.
they're so cute!!
anyway, i love my dear, so i dont care.
thanks Jesus =)

hummm
i left office earlier today, so does Ella and her fireds. haha..
hummm
i walked by the resturant. i greet my friend and the old classmate.
and then i saw her bf.
i was quite embarassed. coz a guy didnt know how to respect a girl.
i was not very hurt, but feeling a bit upset and embarassed.
coz... i dont wanna be a joke of fun between my friends.
i dont find any fun at all. it was too much. so rude of him. i just left.
excuse me, i 'm not a joke. what a friend i am. everytime seeing him, then i become a joke between them.
when i ve started my business about ENTERTAINMENT, excuses me may i ask ?
am i that stupid? not even be able to recieve the sense of humor? what kind of message it is.
it's not the matter of his mouth, it's not about my friend also.
it's about why i ve to saty there for the stupid jokes of myself.
i was just passed by, being nice to greet my frined and her bf.
coz i respect you. i dont think i deserve this kind of rudeness.
i dont care of how i look like or what kind or colors of bra i'm wearing.
did you bet on what i wear today? the outfit i mean. your one dolla is so expensive, save it plz.
do i really look like a langtern ? thank you. you looked down on me? thanks.
i'm stupid i could barely understand none of your kindly jokes.
i just dont care. i dont mind how stupid i am. coz i always find some ppl stupid with their stupid mouth.
i dont want to be the entertainment of my friends. it's so rude !
well maybe i was rude too. but i just cant take it.
if your girlfriend is bored by her frineds, keep her with you then!
dont let her hang around with her friends !
i dont wanna make my frineds hard feelings. i should just go and dont bother you guys time again.
i'm sorry.. i think i'm just pissed.

>>October 6, 2006 at 4:59:21 PM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 4 日 星期三 【晴】

I just know i cant fall down.
coz i dont want both us falling. i need him to stand up again.
i need him to be fine again.




you know...

i dont know if i'm doing the right thing.
i feel like very very tired.
i wanna cry, but i cant. i wanna do something no i cant.
but i'm happy that i can share part of the worries and fears.
coz at least he has me to share with.

i'm lucky, coz i m born with a happy family, nice friends around.
i dont have much tough situation, even when i was going through all those,
Jesus and all my friends would stand beside me.
my family 'd never left me, my friends also. Jesus loves me.

i dont know what can i do for him.. i cry..
i dont know what i can do for myself.
i'm glad, coz i ve friends to hang ard with.
he doesnt, he always faces problems by himself.
i can talk with anyone close, he cant, coz that's he.

cant move on, cant escape cant give up.
what's that about? trapping, stucking.
what to do to get rid of this? i dont know much honestly, but i'm thinking of it.
whatever i think, it's "cant". why cant ? why???
why just do something instead of saying cant ?
would he let me do the searching? but i really wanan respect him.

last night, dear was trying to... break up with me again..
i wasnt able to talk along, i just went to sleep.
when i woke up.. i felt bad... i cant work.. i cant..
i cant focus on my job again. i dont know what the hell is this.
i was supposed to be free again, then i fell in love with him.
i do care about him, i cant leave him at this moment.

i was at office... i cant work well...
anyway, the guy was screaming outside today.
i didnt dare to walk out of the office. i was scared.
as i heard, ppl said he was hitting ppl ard and was lying on the floor.
some ppl scared of him then escaped, kept running away.
i was hoping he was not running towards the office. coz i have no door, he's a big guy.
i cant even defense for myself he he really rushed in. i would be terrified. he freaked me out twice already.

anyway... how come everytime... just... being the same thing, i mean..
seems like... the guy with me would always face the similar problems in their life.
was that just something un-predictable or could be predictable already?
maybe if someday another guy gets close with me would have to face the same problem also.
well, i'm lucky, but whoever with me would not be lucky. is that what it tells?
oh... i cant.. i cant breath...
i really feel like to cry, but i cant. i cant fell now.
if i fell, he would feel even bad.

it's hard for me.. i think he must feel really bad..
it's the stress. stress for him, stress for me..
what can i do?
if i let go would make him feeling better, i should let go.
but i cant tell what if me left... then... how the things would like..
i might deserve someone better, how about him.. i cant just leave him.
he asked me to find another guy. i was like... what... why ...
i cant.

but i do need to breath..
i will have a moon festival dinner at home tomorrow.
then i might hang out with Tung or Queenie or Shan ?
Tung has a party, Queenie shoulod be with her darling, Shan should be with her darling also..
so shoudl i hang out with Tung ?
then Sat,... i might hang out by myself afternoon, maybe ice skating, then meeting Rami also?
or meeting Queenie for a movie? or staying at home with family for a bbq ?
then... Sunday.... i might... just... yea... rest well or... go meet my aunt Pricilla.
She's back from Van already. alright.. i ve th nice cookies from her. Thanks*

lately, got a blank sms from Henry. what does he mean by an empty sms?
i didnt reply, coz i dont know what does he want... cant he just drop a normal message?
hahha.. last time and last last time were also like that.
wish him good luck with his girl. i ve been not involved so long ago.

then... hummmmmthanks for the invitation from Tung..
thanks for Rami... i really wanna come on Sat.. i'm thinking of it. it depends on my family now.
dad has been complaining about my internet timing ve been too long.
mom said something nice for me, maybe coz she probably understands part of the fact that's
what i'm doing on line is about a white guy called Stephen from Vancouver.
sigh.... i dont know..

today, Ella asked me how Stephen and i going. i said.. we'd never stabled.
we chated for a short while. no worries plz. that's not about explosing our relationship.
it was just a normal chat with a bit concern. kind of sharing only.
she asked me if i'm ready to give up my family and work or studies to go over Van.
i think and i answer nope. i need to accomplish my studies first.
that's the basic thing i should do in my life. it's the dream, accomplishment.
i've been trying for over 7 or 8 years since i was 13 to do a degree.
i was always doing extremely great, except my last year for the HKCEE. i screwed up th whole year.
and i got the chance to study for a degree. i was bad. then i went to Van for a short period, and i was back.
i gave myself the sec chance coz the airline didnt take me. i changed my major,
and i'm doing great there. i cant just give up my dream.
i ve said that, i must finish my degree programme.

i feel bad, coz i wanna fly over stay with him now. he need me.
but i cant. i dont have that big money now, i cant just fly away also.
you know... life's hard.
especially you're not the spoiled kids, days re even harder.
but i think i can get through it all, not by my strength. all i can do is from my God.

i feel so much stress.
i can see my face shows how much stress i have now.
i ve no mood to make up, not much smiling as well.
just not so shiny... it doesnt matter with the break up or not.
i'm just worried for him, and feeling stress of what he's facing.
dont worry, i'll be fine.

>>October 5, 2006 at 5:20:30 PM GMT+8

2006 年 10 月 3 日 星期二 【晴】

hummmm have been quite busy and very tired..
worried for my dear Stephen also.
but after a few days, i think he has calmed down already.
wish things would be fine.

i havent put on make up lately... no mood to do so...
i just apply the mascara and eyeliner. coz... really no mood to make up or choose clothes..
when i work... i was not so energenic. i'm very tired...

last night, i ve been working on the cds making. yea.. i've amde dear a few cds.
then... i ve been making the cd cases..... damn sleepy.. my eyes were so hurt..
then.. i couldnt finish the whole package i just need to sleep..
then today i woke up quite late.. hummm i had McDonald's breakfast..
then... yea.. i ve been working of my package for the whole morning at office..
ve been chatting with Cap and Queenie too.
hummm i wanan go ice skating on weekend.... then i might cancel it, go movie time instead..
i dont know... i think.. if i go ice skating, i might go alone.
then at lunch time, i went to the postal office..... i sent the package by express.
hahaha... quite expensive.... seriously. it's a double.
there're the necklace, cds, candy, toy, letter and leaflets.. so yea... quite heavy.
whatever whatever whatever..

back to office with my simply lunch to go. i had an egg from mom today,
then i have 4 pics- slamon sushi.
then... came on line.. i saw dear.
we had a small chat, but nice. i'm glad that he's feeling better now.
hummmm.... i dont want to think too much... coz i'm so tired to think also..
i mean.. i 'm very tired.... ve been worried too much.
and then... in our relationship.... i dont want that girl join in...

then i had my samll class. today i have two studetns.
wah... it was very tiring... it was like... i 'm not trained to be teaching small kids..
they almost drive me mad. coz... the little boy was just... very naughty, and he doesnt focus.
he keeps asking questions.. i dontk now how to ans him.
and then the girl was like very talkative. and Ella was teaching in another room.
i dont know how to manage them.. i'm just not used to it..
it's been 1.5 years havent really deal iwth the little kids.
then... otehr students come. they were waiting for Ella's calss.
Shit.. Anson was soooooooooooooooo rude and naughty.
he's the spoiled kid from a rich family. his sister sherre is also naught but better than him.
i cant stand him yelling and fighting with my student, Celvin. other kids were joining together !!
it was the caois ! coz i was outside the room helping a parent with a kid.
a little girl was CRYING OUTSIDE !! i hug her and stuffs..
then inside were playing a WAR ! then i go in, i saw them alsmot fighting.. =.=
they were super noisy... i asked them to "SHUT UP !".
then Ellla came.. she saw me panic.
then she asked me to take my children out to anotehr room. caios...
then... the girl and my student can have the lesson again.
then we had a great class after all. after all, Ella told me... she was very angry.
and then i shouldnt ask children to "Shut Up". i can only say "Be Quiet".
oh my gosh...

then... got chatted with Tung... on Friday night... i dont know if i can come join his friends.
i dont know.. let see how...
is he gonna introduce me guys ? hahaha... oh my gosh...
i dont know.. so long havent seen Tung, my nice buddy..

and at the morning time, i chated with Aug...
he's Benny's frined. and then... he's someone i reallly treasure..
i dont wanna spoiled the friendship with him, somehow he's a really nice guy.
i dont have any panic with him, never. i met him when i was in Singapore.
he's quite helpful.. and then... when i ve troubles or problems.. i always talk to him..
when i was in Van last year.. i called him also..
this time i went back.. i also called him....... yea... and earlier before.. he helped me on my school
stuffs. he's really good. and everytime i saw him on line, he's always happy to me.
i asked him why he's so happy everytime i see him. yea.. i know the answer.
i told him i feel like... whoever getting close with me will get troubles later. haha..
he asked if that's the why i keep distance with him. i dont know..
i think.. every guys re the same... before together, all is beautiful.
and then... it would be getting worse by time.

i'm with my dear now. i 'm not gonna change.
i dont wanna hurt anyone.. and then i think all men is the same.


i'm damn sleepy... damn tired...
i think i will go do some searcing for dear later... might not today..

>>October 4, 2006 at 2:39:51 PM GMT+8