2006 年 8 月 7 日 星期一 【晴】

well well welll...

yesterday, i was meeting Nelson for a movie and dinner.
ahaha damn... super expensive dinner man !!
i paid $200 for a 20 mins Korean Dinner Set.
it's just faster than the fastfood, rushed more , faster be full, seriously.
then just got for the movie..." Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest "
it's the 3 hrs long movie... quite nice... quite funny also..
Nelson's ticket is more expensive than mine... coz i have the student card.
his got expired wahahahaha...
whatever... funny..

then after that, we walked around, the Habour City, then i went to Central to meet Vicvic.
yea around 11 something..
oh, i make a new friend at MTR, coz he was asking for the direction. he's Pitter, from Briazil.
then Vicvic and me went to Nan Kwai Fong... we walked around, then seat down at Hagandaz..
we had icecream there... nice... hee...
we chatted at there for long, then we got back to the hotel.
we chated till almost 3 sth? then she shower and slept..
i shower then liad on the bed, the bed is super huge, bigger than the king size man..
then.. i couldnt sleep, i read the National Magazine..
then i kept thinking of Benny actually. i couldnt sleep..
keep turning and tossing.. i cried... tear up.... really couldnt calm down..
then i sms him... and ... reading and fell asleep.

we woke up around 9 am.
then we laid in bed and keep chatting. hahaha... i miss our days in Vancouver.
Vicvic is a really nice for me..
humm we keep chatting till almost 11, then we washed up, dressed up,
i packed my stuffs.. then we had dim sum together, "early tea time"..
we ordered 8 small dishes, each contian 3 pieces of dim sum..
we just couldnt finished. so full...
Vicvic could eat alot.. she said coz she's just back from Van haha..
alright !! i ust couldnt eat anymore !

then we take MTR to Mong Kok..
really shop around ( for her only), haha.. then yea... we walk around.
i didnt buy anything, coz i dont find anything nice for me.
but i bought the earrings for Cyn !!! hey ! that's for Cyn ! she will like it =)
but deary, i just didnt buy anything for Ade yet.. thinking of what to get her.

really walked walked walked.. then... we finally seat down for dessert !
oh my god.. i got my period troubles... my skirt got stint. it was so embarassing,
but still stay calm and fix it in the washroom fast.
wheel~ it was lucky that a chinese woman gave me one napkin pad. then yea.. i fix it.
she 's also from overseas she told me. ioh i think she misunderstood that i'm the travler also.
whatever....., thanks !!!!!

then after that all, we still dont wanna say bye, then keep chatting in the mall, even just standing..
then hummm time flys i really need to go.. i had an appointment with my sister Miki.
then... yea... we took pictures, and then we hugged... TWICE.
and i almost cry... oh my god... i wish my tears dont come down...
hummm i know i'll just miss her so much. coz she's just like my best friend. my always best girl..
i dontk now why, we dont know each others for long, we 're really close.
dont get jealous, my dearest best frineds if you're reading this entry of today hee...

okay... i bought the chocolate, that's for Benny.
i was considering actually if i should still ask vicvic help me to send him anything..
i was thinking that ... she really understand me that's i am really proud of her and i'm so happy.
i know my frineds always protect me lots and lots.. advicing me lots also..
somehow i didnt listen to them coz i couldnt lie to myself that i have to follow what i think.
coz this' me. so... i just... ask Vicvic directly that.. you know.. i'm thinking to buy this chocolate for
Benny. i just thought of him so i wanna buy it for him. i think he would like it..
but do you tink if i should buy it? she smiled.. she said she doesnt mind helping me if i really want
to do it. at that moment, my heart melt.. i know she's really a nice person, and she supports me
whatever i do. just yea, i always do that also. on her problems, i also say that.. i support her
no matter what.
and she asked me how if Benny doesnt like it, doesnt like the chocolate or just doesnt like me
doingi t... i have no ideas.. i just know there's only one chance to pass him anything.
and Vicvic is here willing to help me.
natually, i just let it be. i dont know what he thinks.. i just wanna bring him something.
maybe it would be so offensive... but it's my heart.. i mean... i do it coz i really wanna do it..
and i do wish him will accept this chocolate.
i do love him still.

after that, i got back to Tai Po, to meet up my sister, Miki.
haha i got a call on the way, that's form Tung, my best pal.
he got an interview man ! congrad !
then... yea we catch on the same train (KCR) ! then he let me seat, oh so thankful !
coz i was so tired actually. so does he, but he let me seat. see? he always take care of me.
he's just a good brother. he's always taking care of me.

i got a call after meeting up Miki, the call is from Nelson. Hey Nelson finally got his laptop.
he was telling me lots of detials about his day... haha...
alright.. i am listening...
anyway, nice.. but i dontk nwo why so suddenly he just said he has to hang up.
i think i said something wrong, but i dont know why i was wrong...
i really forgot the man at ATM last night... what's so important about the ATM man at Habour City?
i dont really get it =S

whatever... i was waslking around with Miki, then we seat down at the Hui Lau Shan,
one of our "local" dessert house. hummmmmm i had a cool drink.
whatever.... really tired..

then i got shopped lots of chinese traditional cookies or egg roles or cakes whatever !!!!
just bought one big bag of food for Ade and Cyn ! i think they'll love them !!!! yeah !
then... really tired...
got back t Tai Wo... then... we did a bit shooping at the supermarket again..
then took taxi to home...

so tired..

i came on line..
saw the repy from Benny.. he was on line... but then... yea...
i reply one long message... then..
after dinner, i wrote another long message...
i ut dont know... i'm the fool..
and... i would say... this time... i really regret.
he made me regret. i'd never regret for anything... but he made me regret this time.
dont ask me why.
i couldnt tell anymore. just dont wanna tell.

you know... i miss my frineds so much.

and you know.. ..i miss him.. i lvoe him.. i need him.

>>August 8, 2006 at 3:56:12 PM GMT+8

2006 年 8 月 5 日 星期六 【晴】



hummm
today had dim sum with my family, aunt Pricalla and Vicvic..
yup all together at Tsim Sha Tsui haha...
nice... really nice..
after that,
aunt Priciall and me walked around...
ten at night i go find Vicvic and have dinner and dessert with her.
we walked around also..
hummm... you know... tomorrow night i will stay at Vicvic's room.
and then... yea..

Just now got a call from Tung, my pal... then... we chatted.. and i let him sleep..
well, we will meet up..

i dont know...
i miss Benny so much..
but Vicvic asked me... not to put too much effords..
i dont know.. when you're in love, you just couldnt ... you know..
i dont know what to say already..
and then yea..

got chatting with my dearest Alesja... she's back..
hummm nice chatting, iss her so much...

chatting with Nelson on bus... then... maybe we will go movie tomorrow.
i'm not sure...

so messy entry..

>>August 6, 2006 at 4:46:25 PM GMT+8

2006 年 8 月 4 日 星期五 【晴】

well..
got the promotion finally..
hummmm not bad... yea... but i'm going on holiday tomorrow till i will be back from Canada.
today was damn busy... and nice to see those kids anyway.

after work, i rushed to Ma On Shan to have the gathering dinner with my relatives and family,
granddad(mom's dad) 's birthday~ nice...
have seens and chatting with my dearest cousins, they're my friends actually.
two of them i mean haha.. Seila and Issabella.

why i still cry not happy ...
coz... i'm still upset about Benny..
i wonder what should i do to you know... let him understand...
i dont wanna lose him, i love him.. i care about him...
i dont want him upset and let himself sinking in that situation.
coz that was all the misunderstanding....

anyway...
tomorrow Vicvic would arrive, and i will have tea time with my aunt, Pricalla.

hummmm
i miss Benny.. i really think of him everyday.

but thanks for Tung, coz.. he tells me that no matter what i do..
i'm not Benny, and only time would heal someone's heart.
Tung is my real buddy... he's the cloest guy frined of mine.
i knew him since i was 13 in high school... he always take care of me in lots of way..
so, we still keep in touch always. i m so happy to have met him.
humm he knows i'm sad.. then i would just follow him and his siblings and his friends to
go Ocean Park after back from Canada.

cas... castor... you know just now you just wrote somthing on his board, in a way that
with the open "name"--pretending that you're not involved except your name. it's kindda silly...
coz obvious that he must know that's you, and you're too obvious, coz you use your real name.
well, if he doesnt tell who is castor, or if the ppl dont know the "female frined" is called Castor,
then it all would be fine.

i'm not Benny, i couldnt tell how hurt he feels, how bad he thinks..
i couldnt understand at all.
not i do wanna do what.. let say... what he wants me to do
or what i could do for him..
he doesnt reply me after that long ago... i know he might not be ready to face me again..
or he probably plans to ... delete me in his life..
i wish that would never happen.. you know... i feel like he thinks that he lost the friendship and lost
his "female friend".. but actually that's not true. and if that's true, then i'm gonna face the biggest
lost in my life, coz i 'll be losing someone called Benny.

please.. please dont let it happen...

>>August 5, 2006 at 3:54:21 PM GMT+8

2006 年 8 月 3 日 星期四 【晴】

i'm crying... i'm really crying...

i couldnt take it... coz... it's totally wrong..
it's not like what you think..
i dont know what to do, how i could clean it up..
it just didnt happen like what he thinks..
and i dont mean to hurt him.. i dont mean to hurt the one love the most.
why castor you were so stupid ?!!
and what can i do to make it up ?!!!
i just wish a chance to speak up, to tell him, to tell him to tell him !!
why he doesnt give me a chance... WHY ?!!!!
i'm crying now... i'm crying..i am crying..
castor... why... why castor... why...

clam down...
i just read his words on internet..
i dont know.. i feel so sad.. coz... he's sad...
i cry coz he's sufferring in something he shouldnt be upset about.
and this would only make life worse.. and i'm like the murderer.
i dont want him upset i dont want him to feel bad. i want him happy.
he's the toughest person i've ever met... but he's always the one gentle, nice, warm in my heart.
i dont know what to do now...
i'm not affraid to face anyone, coz simply i m just so focus, knowing that i would be fine..
but only him has been making me so lost...

anyway..
today.. working...
not so well still fine though... the sign is... (human being, i shouldnt teach my teamates.)
but i choose to teach everything and be honest to my boss about my position with tasks.
whatever, if they're gonna replace me, it's fine.
but then i know when i'm back, i would need to deal with more about marketing.

>>August 4, 2006 at 3:58:38 PM GMT+8

2006 年 8 月 2 日 星期三 【晴】

HEY !

finally didnt work today... coz outside raining too hard.. too windy...
blow blow blow...

then saw Tung and Alex on line..
then... chatting with them.. after lunch just hang out with Tung.
coz he wants to get a gift for C-Hang.
we went to Sha Tin..... MOVIE ! hahaha his treat ! ;)
hummm then we walked around, searching for gift...
then ate around ! hahaha... then yea... ate mcdonald's also..
then got back to Tai Po, to meet our 5D MEMBERS!!!!!
hahaha... Pizza Hut..... not big meal... just chatting lots.. we have 18 ppl tonight !!
no big fun... coz the table is too long... then afterward, we all got for dessert !!! heehee...
i saw Zhi Yan hahaha... so nice to see her again !
BIG HUG!!!! she asked me if she could hug me ! OF COURSE !! We just like to hug !
we're the touchy animal right ? haha..

sigh...
tomorrow got to work again.and Thanks Miss Chin soooooooo much....
today she was at office... helping lots..

and then i finally get my ticket today..
hummmmm.... let me see..

>>August 3, 2006 at 3:51:50 PM GMT+8

2006 年 8 月 2 日 星期三 【晴】

wow... so windy...
so dangerous driving.... you know... it's quite scary outside...
especially on the bridges.. the Tsing Ma Bridge... eeeee...

okay... got work, and passed down work to Nelson and Miss Chin..
eventually, i've taught Nelson... coz i know he just need to help mmiss Chin after i left.
he better knows more learns more from me first.

hummmm
damn busy actually...
then i left at 7 40pm... then yea... got back to Tai Po..
then dad picked me up around Tai Wo...
then we drive to the air port.... wah..... so dangerous...

okay..
Aunt brought me three packs of HONEY BEAR COOKIES!!!! ^^ LOVE IT !!!
then also a "box" of chocolate bar.. 50 bars (5 favs) included !!! WOO~~~~ ^^
hahahaha...
we had Jap noodles at the airport.. actually i ratehr chossing the cafe with coffee or tea..
but i know dad 's hungry.. and aunt should be hungry also..
yea.. and only me would want the coffee or tea...
* (i just think of ... the que.... coffee or tea, and the ans.... coffee tea and you.)
okay.... take it easy cas....

anyway...
tomorrow would be busy also... then after work i would go for another party~ gathering hee
with my old frineds from high school !
have fun cas...

it's the damn busy week...
actually weeks are not the weeks.. it takes like one month to got through the weeks.
why? i'm not refering to the slow time. actually the time FLYS !
i just couldnt remember what i did last week.. coz simply like i've done too much stuffs..
then it's like already passed a month (GENERALY SPEAKING).
coz i dont like and i dont get used to this kind of busy hell life..
then... yea.. just dont really match up with the memorry hahahaha...
i'm doing okay but EXTREMELY TIRED...

and i miss him... Benny i mean...

>>August 2, 2006 at 5:41:20 PM GMT+8

2006 年 8 月 1 日 星期二 【晴】

busy...

got "fucked" by Dr. Liu.... sigh..... so bad...
i dont think we're totally wrong anyway. whatever, i just have to pretend like nothing happened badly,
even though he did lose his manner.
whatever whatever whatever...

hummm kindda good news at work..
i will get promotion soon, the real one.
and the toubles are leaving us now...

i got off before telling all the tasks to miss Chin..
then i left... and went to Nelson frined's home to have the bbq party..
firstly, i felt DAMN BORED !
then... i planed to leave as soon as possible...
all guys there, but they're playing tv game, NOT REALLY LIKE A PARTY MAN...
then i waited till.... quite late... till we really do the bbq..
then two girls come then... start helping the guys cooking for us..
then yea.. things turn out good.
but damn, they should play the music much earlier!!! haha.. okay...
anyway.... that's nice night... we all had good time i guess.
basically.... almost all of them are just from overseas.. okay...

i left ard... 11 pm..
back home have fruit, chatting with mom..tmorrow Aunt Prcilla will be back ! yeah =P

hummm i still think of Benny..
what to do with that..

>>August 1, 2006 at 5:00:24 PM GMT+8

2006 年 7 月 30 日 星期日 【晴】

damn tired...

whatever... busy day as usual...
something bad happened, so... there's no fun but toubles at office.
you know... it's the big trouble..

anyway, i saw Alesja on line! haha how nice it is..
SHE IS BACK !!!! but i know she didnt wanna go back home. hummmmmm....
i miss her...

then... dealing with some shit.. i really felt pissed by the tutors actually.
i even written on my sheet that
IT TAKES ONE HR AND MORE TO DO THE WEEKLY PLAN. IT'S DAMN SH*T.
then Neslon's back... well... told him what to do,
then we worked and chatted... then lunch time ...
we had lunch together..

i prepare my own lunch today..
so long havent made sandwiche hee... i also bring the banana and marshmellow~~~ ^^
heehee.... breakfast have soya and cracker.

anyway... Nelson was there working with me till.... ard 8pm... yea...
MISS CHIN IS BACK!!! yeah~~ she's back from Melaysia.. great.. i wish to be there also.. haha..
anyway, had the meeting with her after all classes off.. okay...
i finally left at 9 40pm.. and i worked from 10 30 am today... damn tired...

actually the stress makes me tired.. and the workload make me sick.
so much things to handel and organize..

hummm tomorrow will have the bbq party after work ! woo~ hummmm....
kindda nervous, coz.. i know only Nelson, no more.. so... yea... all the new friends i will be meeting !

got a call from Queenie ;) *thanks

then yea, MY SKIRT IS BACK!!!! ^^ THANKS FOR MY AUNT!! SHE HELP ME OUT!!!
then... heehee...MOM BOUGHT THE EARRINGS FOR ME!!!!
^^ SO HAPPY~~ THE EARRINGS ARE JUTS GEOROUS !!!

hummm have the chatting with Alex..
he's kindda aggressive.. i dont like it but i shall give a try.. at least getting to know him more..
coz... i dont know... i guess i should move on.
since i've done everying i could and there's no such the reply, i just need one, any kinds of reply..
there's no and... i dont know.. i think he really doesnt like me anymore, so... i better respect myself,
respect his choice... i should walk away from his life from now, is it ?

>>July 31, 2006 at 3:37:40 PM GMT+8

2006 年 7 月 29 日 星期六 【晴】

well...

last night.... after watching "Sex and City" i slept ard 2 something am..
today i woke at..... 1pm..
well... did some simple chatting with my family..
then had lunch... and we watched "Chicken Little" hahah that funky nice cartoon ;)

then we watched tv together..
then Miki and i walked out..
took the walk, and seat at the Taiwanese Tea House..
then have drink and snack..
walked around, and shopped at the supermarket..

back home... then chatting with mom... i found the super nice earings!!!
^^ hee..
then..... watched "Next Top Model", super nice !!
and had dinner...
hummmm ow watching tv again.

tomorrow would be super super busy...
then would have a party gathering on Tue with Nelson and his friends..
then Wed, would have the gathering with my old frineds, then...
Thurs, Aunt Pricilla would be back...
thn Vicvic will come, too..

Affection:
what should i do ?



>>July 30, 2006 at 3:28:25 PM GMT+8

2006 年 7 月 28 日 星期五 【晴】

today....
okay... let me say it in this way... I AM SUPER TIRED.

anyway... got a call from my boss today morning...
oh my god.. something bad happened last night. i just wish that all would be fine.
i wish that the influence on the kid wouldnt last for too long.

i worked... hummm dont find fun at work...
handeling problems.. then.. yea... organizing stuffs... pretty tired..
what the... Dr. Liu complaint about the note printing again..
i wonder what happpened, and obviously he just doesnt satisfy.
then... i wonder if that's my problems or Nelson's or Miss Ho? i dont know... all is weird..
we've checked and checked, double checked already...
then yea... have stopped giving chocolate or candy to Mr. Lam already..
and... basically dont find fun on Sat anymore.

i was off around 4 50 pm... coz need to rush to a big family gathering dinner with grand parents(dad)
then yea... went to Po Toi O. have seafood.... sick... i dont really like seafood except the fish.
but i dont like the steam big fish.. hahaha.. well...

kindda missing the fun i had with friends or what... coz simply just getting bored...
seems like... attanding this kind os gathering is the must.
i dont wanna go, but if i dont go then it's just not nice at all.. and i just get used to it already.
kindda like... political stuffs.. coz... everytime after the gathering, then we would hear some news,
or gossips just afterward... such as... why she wears this, or what re they doing..
many many... and i'm very sick of it. if it's allowed, i would like to say...
YOU COME TALK IN FRONT OF ME, LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT ACTUALLY YOU'RE SUCH
THE BITCH. YOU DONT DARE TO TALK FACE TO FACE BUT JUST CHATTING BEHIND...
WHAT'S SO FUNNY? YOU SUCK.

anyway, saw my cousin's girlfrined today. hey she looks quite frinedly =) nice girl.

hummmm...
wanna go out tomorrow... any pals joining me? probably nope. and i guess so..
hummm will go bbq with Nelson and his frineds on Tue night..
then will have the gathering or party with my old friends on Wed night..
then aunt Pricilla will be back on Thurs night..
then soon Vicvic would come..

at work:
have tonz of stuffs waiting for me already..
and i'm kindda stress and stuck.
coz... yea.. it's hard to make the arrangement and hard to... youk now take over the responsbility.
i dontk now how to say... i feel stress and hard...

for myself:
school things...
SFAA...

Private Affection:
hummmmmm no comments at all...
ppl come and ppl go.

>>July 29, 2006 at 3:05:55 PM GMT+8