2006 年 11 月 25 日 星期六 【晴】

hello..

i woke up a bit early today..
i had 8 hrs sleep last night, beautiful.

i worked on time, i was early.

nice morning... but i found that i forgot to bring my phone... haha..
so i didnt stay on line for long today. coz, i couldnt dirvert office line to my cell phone..
it was a bit busy.

i had chated with dear today. so funny..
humm i had lunch with Ella, we had dim sum today. nice lunch.
then, back to office, worked and chated with dear.
Ella asked me how much i love Stephen. then i told Stephen about the question.
i was surprised of his response. coz.. yea... i didnt care that much about what he thinks about Ella.
oh come on haha.. i am happy anyway ^^
i m comfortable with Ella, so... maybe Stephen is right, but i just cant bother too much
about that. somehow, we have different positions at work.
i feel so glad that we could work so well together, and besides work, we're such the sisters,
so, yea...

then... i told honey that i will have class with my cousin tomorrow..
i could go on line on webcam to let him watch our time at my cousin's home.
yea.. perhaps i could see him =)

after work, my family ate out tonight. coz tomorrow is Leggy, my sister's birthday.
we had hot pot at a resturant...
it was very nice.. haha we had lots of fun.
then we walked back home... mom and dad were so funny.
they started joking rubbish again !! hahaha...
then this time, they talk about the money and marriage customs.
says like the money from the son in law and then the US dollars..
and mom asked who's gonna pay in US dollars, then dad said if me or my sisters marry white ppl,
then it would be. i was laughing loud. i wondered what?!! but i didnt response..
i m sure they're just kidding but mroe or less is teasing me or testing me..
mom was so fuuny tonight asking me where to eat out tonight..
she said.. no pizza or westrnfood. dad likes cantonese food, so cant marry white western.
i told her "CRAZY". i thought i do love western food, so what ?!
hahaha.. but after she said that she also laughed.. aiya... my parents are very naughty sometimes,
so funny them...
then i called my cousin Ricky, telling him in Eng that i'm going over to have class with him tomorrow.
then he wa saying one word and repeating it : "NO NO NO NO NO.." hahaha..
i really think about Stephen as well... coz yea... we're engaged.. so... whateveri do, i would think
about him first. and then, i think my parents should like him also. haha.. coz i like him what =P

today is my best friend, Shan's birthday !! =P
heehee... i bought my sister a present. it's our traditional way for her. she's the youngest.
and i saw a very nice necklace, might be suitable for Shan.. i dont used to send birthday gift to
frineds, even though best friends.. but yea, it's very nice for her, might be a bit expensive for me,
but i really wanna buy for her =) she's my best friend, always be there for me, so.. i wanna get her
something nice on her 20 th birthday =) heehee.

hummm tomorrow i will have my haircut ... i'm a bit afraid. haha... but yea, i just go for it.

i miss my honey so much... he doesnt sleep well always..
i'm a bit worried for him...

>>November 25, 2006 at 6:49:24 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 23 日 星期四 【晴】

today... my phone didnt ring... didnt wake me up..
sigh.... i woke up late but ok.. i have 8 hrs sleep.
i planed to wake up early everyday so i could spend more time with Stephen..
but hell.. i'm just a sleepy girl.. everyday i need at least 3 times of alarm to wake me up.

i saw honey on line this morning.. i just chated with him for a short while then i had to go..
i really hope that i dont need to work today, so i could stay home with him.

mom did ask more and more, she brings me lots of stress. i talk with Ella.
coz she's like my big sister. Ella said it's normal for my paretns to be worried for me.
humm i know... and Ella said i have to get used to it from now. i think when things be more stable,
then it will be better. and Stephen said it's okay.. i think he might feel not good too,
but just coz doesnt make me worried then he says so ? he really cares about my parents,
so i think he does mind. but i dontk now.. thanks my darling anyway. coz he doesnt give me more
stress on it.

i have a problem, i used to listen to my parents. so, whatever big thing i do, i always ask for their
advise. if they say yes, i would be very happy. if they say no. i would be sad.
maybe... i was so scared to be left out.. coz of my childhood.. so.. i dont like to against them..
if i need to do so, i would be pretty... upset..
and that influences me so much. and now, it's about... my relationship, i dont want to be affected.
i hope the things would be better soon.

i had been busy working, quite stress also.. everything seems urgent. and things take time to do.
anyway, i had been on line, coz i ... wanna see Stephen..

i finally done my banner.. sigh... it takes 2 days to make it done. and it looks just really great.
=) i'm happy to make it done. but there're some more marketing stuffs to do.
i'm easy stress at work or studies, coz i m very serious and hard working at work and stuidies.
i'm easy tired, but i'm pretty serious and fast working.
then, i need to plan the course, and my classes.
i'm having headache about my classes. i dontk now what to do with them.. sigh...
i feel stress on it, coz i dont have any guide on the classes. i dont want just follow up homework,
i want to teach them new stuffs, but the point is... every students have their own problems.
youk now what, i actually give the same worksheets to all of them.
but then... Alex can learn, Fiona cant. i dont know how about Ricky.. i'm still observing him..
Alex is smart, but very naughty... Fiona is pretty lazy but not forgetful.
Ricky is naughty but what he need is time. one more student is coming in Dec.

my christmas class is coming soon. i'm busy for the preparation now...
hummm lots of things to do... in prepartion, marketing, administration work,... yea.. busy..

and,
at the time being,... i know my parents would be so tension about Stephen and i ,
but i'd never thought about giving up Stephen.
and now, i miss him again.
i know my parents have their reasons and they just love me and care about me so much,
and at the same time, i chose Stephen. i think someday my parents would understand.
and like what Stephen says, they will like him.
i'm proud of my Stephen, just like he's so proud of me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How Did I Fall in Love with You

Remeber when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want so much
The night islong and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall,
in love ,
with you?

>>November 24, 2006 at 3:33:33 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 22 日 星期三 【晴】

hahaha

this morning i was home working .. chating with my honey Stephen...
not really, coz i had been working on my own actually, till i really called my honey.
then we had 2 hrs internet time, sweet time.. haahaaheehee

hummmm
then i rushed back to office, and started my busy day.
coz of the past two sleepy days, i've missed lots of things, i mean i have to chase abck time.
anyway, i should be in office at 12 noon. but i was 1 hr late to office today.
so .. yea i 'm not good if i still enjoy my lunch break.
i gave up my lunch break.. i had been working on my lucn time.
humm but i did take 15 mins to go to the post office and buy some snack.

anyway, had a class with Fiona. very very very lazy girl..
today is okay, at least she has done a few sentences.
anyway, i had been busy..

today morning, honey told me he had read my blog. i think he's referring the one on msn.
hummmm i read a girl's blog, and she makes me think about myself..
then i remember my mom's smile.. the warm smile and the cold smile..
coz everytime she smiled like that means she's leaving me.
i got back this feelings recently through my lunch time. why i say so?
coz... everytime having lunch with mom and wen she leaves.. she smiles like that.
exactlly like.. when i was small, she left me to my host families.
i didnt tell her about my feelings, but i t sticks on my mind.

honey read that. and i also mentioned about my engagement there.
humm yea... i'm engaged =)
my parents might start to think lots now. i know they always worry me.
they dontk now the engagement, they just know Stephen and i are working on a relationship.
humm Stephen's comment was funny, only one word " interesting". haha..
i didnt ask him lots about that. coz that's my blog, i'm soooo glad that he has read my blog..
and i respect our own space on it. if he wants to tell me something, he would always do.
so.. yea.. i want both us to feel comfortable. actually i want to hear him saying more..
well it takes time to see if he's opening his mouth hahaha...
but he's definitely a sweet heart, and would be a nice dad.
i just dont know how to keep him happy with me. i might be a boring person..
i dontk nwo how to make fun actually.. to kids, i can do it easily, but to my sweet heart, no..
i dont know how to be a funny girl to him. anyway, i love him. hee..

Ella knows about our engagement already. hahaha she said finally i chose this way.
hummmm yea.... =)
she asked if Stephen would be good to me... i really dont know, i ve to ask him first hahaha..
no.. i think he would be fine... he would take care of me also.

Aunt Priscilla also know about that. haha.. she asked me if he's good enough for me.. and blah blah..
then.. eventually she's happy for me =)

i dont know what other ppl think or feel. i still dont know.. i still havent told my best frineds or
cloest friends yet. i'm not too hurry to tell.. coz.. i think... our relationship is very special and unqiue..
it's like a plan from God. everything is like the plan... really is a plan. lots of things happened in a series.
i didnt expect him would come suddenly. and after all, i didnt expect we could be.. engaged.
then.. now, everything is like a gift for me. so... when this news come to you, you just need to be
happy for me. if it doesnt come to you yet, just about the time... you will know it soon from me.
this is a very hard path to walk.. but i always remember something from Jesus.

i know He's there. when i say i cant, He would say He would help me and give me strength.
when i'm sad, He's watching me and crying with me. whatever i need, He gives.
i made mistakes, He forgives and wash me. so,.... thank God.. coz he's the only God.
i think i'm quite weird. and this weird life has a God, haha.. yea..
i hope everything will be fine. coz, i cant predict anything happen and i dont want to guess.
i'm not too worried, coz everything i have God to help me =)

i miss Stephen now haha..
i miss my frineds also..
i miss all of the ppl.

i love my family (including my honey Stephen), my friends, and everything ard me,
and i should learn how to love Jesus, the only God.
Thanks God for bringing me so many nice gifts.

>>November 23, 2006 at 4:32:33 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 21 日 星期二 【晴】

i'm really really sleepy...

today i couldnt wake up again, coz of the medicine.. i need to rest more.
then... i had been working, and then... yea try to stay on line..
then... lunch time i back home.. had McDonald's...
then back to office.. had been quite busy..
morning, i had been preparing classes for this week, then... after lunch...
Ella's back, and we had discussion and preparsion on the christmas programme.
i was pretty sleepy.. it's like what Stephen said "half asleep".
i really miss my honey ltos and lots.. i think he must be very tired and busy today..
then... my naughty child come.. Alex come... hell... i really have no mood to play with him..
and i 'm less patient than i usually am. but still ifne. he's quite naughty today..
i dont like that, coz i'm not very patient while i feel sick or i dont feel well.
so.. yea.. he made me angry.. then we went to supermarket, did some activities about food and lable.
then... back did some writting and stuffs.. low efficient... but okay... coz we did lots of preview
on his lsitening book.

then... after that, i had been busy for the parents and some doc stuffs and helping Ella.
then i finally got a min to come on line while doing some paper doc. hummmm Stephen was on line...
i feel bad.. coz i think he waited for me till that late... it was like his 3 am or 4 am already...
he shuld be sleeping as i know, coz he's workin on the sleeping schedule with me now..
so.. i know he should be sleeping but he was waiting for me.. =(
then.. yea... i asked him if he's still awake.. he said "for now". which means i woke him up and..
i had been making him waiting for me =(
i asked hm to sleep.. i was so sorry that i had been busy today.. and i didnt see him on line
earlier before.. =( i'm a bit worried about his sleeping schedule and worried for him.
you know... he's really important for me now and in the future.. so.. yea..

mom asked more about Stephen today. and dad also knows about it already..
i know mom and dad really concern on us. then mom told me dad only said one word "crazy".
i dont know... but in our normal ocnversation, dad doesnt act differently. mom just keeps asking
questions....

sigh... i miss my Stephen sooooooo much......
i tink he misses me lots and lots also...
i really wanna go over Van in Feb or March now.
i really hope it would happen right now.
and we will be together having christmas next year.

>>November 22, 2006 at 1:27:17 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 20 日 星期一 【晴】

CASTOR'S MOM SEE STEPHEN ON WEBCAM TODAY !
STEPHEN CALLED ME MRS. MEI MEI BAILEY.
^^

hummm today i couldnt wake up..
damn... the medicine is too strong... then... i just couldnt make myself awake..
it's like whatever i'm doing is still in dream.
i took some breakfast then work..
i was always falling asleep.. once i guess i did dream already.

then.. i feel really bad.. then... i called mom.. i told her the truth that i'm on medicine hahaha..
then... i wanna go home rest... then i also chat with Stephen..
he teached me.. what to do and stuffs.. then i called Ella... yea.. she was okay..
i feel so bad i had to take the day off but yea... i was pretty sick.
Stephen called me Mrs. Bailey hahahah^^

then i bought some food, some snack also.. then back home.
and then... heehee.. i came on line before i slept.
then we had been chating on line. .. .. heehee... so sweet him..
then, hummm MOM JOINT OUR CONVERSATION.
Stephen was so sweet and funny.. he even translated the words in chinese to show mom.
he said " i love your daughter very much". i was shocked!
then i said "hey!" hahaha..
then.. Stehpen showed mom the ring... but mom doesnt know we're engaged.
heehee anyway, now mom knows about us =) i'm so happy. Stephen is happy also.
i'm soooooo happy ^^ hee..

then i always have a feelings that i cant believe that's what happening now..
we're really engaged.. and we're getting married. Stephen told me that he's finding us a place.
i'm so touched.

he's very sweet. he 's a good teacher also.. he teaches me lots of things..
he might sound rude sometimes, he could be very mean though, but what he says is always...
supprising me and always true.

i told him what happened on Fri night, about my paretns with those 37 missed calls.
and he doesnt like me going clubbing or going out late at night..
obviously that he cuts down pretty much on his outgoing time also..
like a big difference, a big change i see. i didnt notice that till that morning confrontation.
he asked me how many times he had been out. i said a few. he said, " no. two times".
i d never requested him to cut down for me.. he does that naturally...
i think he's serious. he's very honest also.. i'm very very very glad about that.

he has some shortcomings i know for sure, but... somehow he's very cute..
event his bad points, sometimes i would find them attractive. then... yea.. when he's serious,
he's really attractive. and we share some same opinions and perspectives.
we share some same hobbies also.... and with him, i'm not afraid or against to anything new things.
normally, if i dont knwo how to do a thing, i rarely try it with friends... like sport, or just adtivities..
but he mentiond lots of thigns wanna do, like hiking, i dont usually do, or some other things,..
i wanan go with him.
he reminds me lots of things.. he really cares about me lots..
he doesnt speak lots, he doesnt talk much... but when he speaks, he got the points !
i told him i'm so lucky to have him. i quite appreciate him. he's building his own business now.
i wish him good luck and sucess ! ^^ heehee..

he was soooo sleepy... then after he slept, i went to sleep also..
hummm i feel so nice.
maybe dad will know about us soon.
the funny things is.. aunt knows alot from me, but mom and dad dont know much.
somehow, aunt doesnt want me to be with him, so i'm quite afraid.
but... i dontk now... there's always a plan so.. i'm not too hurry hahaha..
thanks God..
actually loving Stephen is quite nice, and coz of him, i undeestand myself more and understand the
world more. so... there'snt no satisfaction for me at all.. i hope he's satisfied with me also..
heehee..

okay...
tomorrow i should get back to work.. and he should work and post me the stuffs also.
haha

hummm...
tongith would have the "Rpison Break"... hummmm nice series..
i think in Jan, i will work but i dont wanna work 7 days/ week.. i might just take one day off on
weekday. so i can also rest and spend time with Stephen.

>>November 21, 2006 at 12:41:49 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 19 日 星期日 【晴】

Hey ~

LISTEN UP, NEWS FROM CASTOR HERE:
I'M ENGAGED ! ^^

pretty shocked huh?
when Stephen was on his knees asking me marry him on the web cam..
i was pretty supprised. i look at his smile. he's so sweet and he looks so happy..
i look at his eyes, he was so sincere... he's just so cute.. heheheee..

i had been very busy doing my own things, neglecting him sometimes or we just havent chances
to meet up or whatever. or he's just very nurvious or panic...
then... i've left him long messages telling him what happened in the clubbing place, and what's
happening ard me.

last night my phone kept ringing and sms transfering, was so busy..
then my alergy made me tossing and turning all night.. i couldnt sleep well..
this morning 7 sth... i woke by the phone.. it was rining, and shown no number.
i wonder... if a friend calling again from overseas... then i picked up.. but no one saying anything..
then i found two sms... and they're both from Stephen. he was sooooooo angry...

some big misunderstanding occured.. then he asked me to explain to him on line ..
i was thinking what did i say to make him so angry..
then, i replied his both sms.. and then i was getting up.. to try coming on line..
he called.. we talk for a few mins ? then we chated on line..
you know what? we had a very long and heat confrontation and confession.

then after all... haha...
he proposed to me.. ^^
he got down on his knees, i saw him on the web cam.. and then... he asked me to marry him..
i saw the ring and i saw him on his knees. i saw his sincere eyes and smile.. i was so touched..
heehee ^^ then... i also saw my necklace on his neck heehee ^^

i will fly back to Van in Feb or March, just dont wanan crash the chinese new year.
^^

today at work..
i was so bored... i got busy stuffs in the morning ,and i was supposed to do much more jobs..
but then.... ard lunch time i rushed to seek the doctor for my alergy.
then i walked ard, went to the book store, so i got alesja something for her birthday!
and i got some friends' christmas cards heehee.. of course my honey Stephen also have one la =)
i was looking for a gift for his christmas there also... i want him have a warm and beautiful christmas.
he showed me the tv show about the christmas parade in Van. i told him i really love christmas,
and i said i wanna spend my christmas with someone i love. it would be very warm and beautiful.
he said next year by christmas we will get married. heehee..

Alex didnt come today. class changed. he will ocme tomorrow..
then coz of the medicine.. i 'm really really sleepy, cant even concentrate on work stuffs..
then call to the adv. company. Ella wants me to deal iwth them again..
alright, this time i really compliant. that fucking guy hung up ~! i still havent finished my questions !
then he really got sent back but i didnt reply anymore. you fuck up !
but fine ! coz i was brave enough to confront them by the correct attitude. he hung up coz he's not
gentelment enough.

then.. i went on line again... Stephen was still on line.. we had a web cam time..
hummm finally i download the msn at office.. not using web messenger anymore..
heehee..

then... back home i was too tired..
i saw PKY and Water today !!! they seem fine! i'm so happy for them! so long time havent seen them..
and then, come on line again.. Stephen is still here.. we had webcam again..
he's such a baby to me.. i really... want him. he's so cute.. he brought me to everywhere ^^heehee
hummmm... wait till he slept.. i had dinner..
i guess i need to take the pill again now.


hummm i have a story here..
since there's a third party, the relatinship is not completed. it really depends on those 3 ppl.
somehow when the 3rd party step out or got dissappeared, it doesnt mean that the relationship
would become better. somehow if the realtionship is good, no 3rd parties could be involved.
if the 3rd party is innocent, congraudations. leave la, what re you waiting for?
if you wait till the girl or guy made the decision, then you would be the poor victim.
dont blame yourself as a 3rd party. sometimes you dont even know about that.
dont blame on the 3rd party coz you have no rights to do so. dont blame about yourself
if you're the bastard or bitch who's cheating on your date, coz you also dont want that happen.
whatever just admit that's the fact and firgue out the answer. leave or stay.

once you gave up, never turned back.
you gave up already, which means you've made the decision already.
ask yourself, if you have one more chance, would you still do the same.
if you do, you wont regret at all, dont need to explain anything also, just let it be.
if you do regret, and cant turn back. try to firgue out what to do to make things up.
otherwise, just let go.

>>November 20, 2006 at 4:15:58 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 19 日 星期日 【晴】

hummm

today i had a class with my cousin, he's cute.. he's smart but he need to put some more efforts?
we were doing fine today. i got chatting with him also.. humm..

after that, i went to TST by myself.. planed to have a bit shopping or checking out stuffs,
then aunt joint me with a friend. humm then we went to have dinner at Ashlee road.
pizza and pasta.. then we had coffee at Starbucks... then we went to Lan Kwai Fong.
we had some drinks... i had 3 different kinds of drink tonight.. i got skin alergy.. and it's more
serious than Fri night. i still got pain, itchy and hot back and leg on Sat. then now..
i think it's gonna be mroe serious.. maybe tonight i couldnt slee pagain and tomorrow would still being
affected. hummm...

we had good time though. i didnt dance tonight. tonight with two adult friends is more relaxing.
we just had chats and yea.. some jokes also. they're gonna introduce me new frineds.
well, actually... aunt's frined is quite nice and friendly. i dont know.

i got the calls and sms from Justin today, i really wish him all the best.

Alesja REPLY me finally!!! =) i'm so happy but also feel so sad for her..
coz... she has problems in her family now. i do wish her all the best...

then... justz now finished a call with Justin. and the alergy is getting serious.. it comes to my arm now.
i might need to seek a doctor tomorrow... bad...
how's Stephen now?

>>November 19, 2006 at 6:16:04 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 17 日 星期五 【晴】

woo...
what happened in these few days?

Friday, i worked, then.... Ella, her husband Richard and i went clubbing.
oh my god.. we had a dinner first, then we took bus to there.
so crowd... then Ella got me a drink to warm up haha..
i got chated up with a white stranger. i couldnt hear what he said clearly. he was chatting with me
about the band sound.. woo whatever..

then we saw Ella's frinedssss, then Richard and i seat beside resting..
then we went back to my fav place, Carvern. it's a dman cool place..

i didnt drink much.. but i got skin alergy.. bad.. couldnt sleep.. i slept at 6 am this morning...

hummm i danced there NON STOP for 2 hrs+++. Hot Dance...
i d never thought about that actually i could dance like that, and never expected myself can dance with
so many guys... hummm Ella was supprised HAHAHAHA...
she saw me dancing with guys.. well, i do like dancing.. and of course with good music,
good band sound.
you know what, i really danced non stop... then some guys came along.. trying to.. you know dance
with me.. then.. yea i did dance with some hot guys also.. it was so hot.
yea sexy dance. humm some guys did ask about sex. i said no.
so Ella was supprised about that i did dance non stop with guys for 2 hrs.. let me count..
in 2 hrs, i danced with a white guy, firstly when i just arrived in 5 mins, and we danced for so long, then..
another white guy, we chated and danced.. then another brown man and a white man..
hummm yea.. an indian man was rude, he took advantage on me. i look at him. he smiled. fuck.
it was fun, coz it's also the first time for me to dance with guys. and coz he was the first guy, i kissed
him on cheek when we finished.

anyway.. we left around 1 30am... and i got 37 miss calls.... from my parents and friends.
my parents were calling me NON STOP also. when i checked my phone, i was shock!
then called back, and mom said dad and her were gonna drive out searching me, and then
they planed to go police office as well, and they did call my friends... =.=
i'm sooo sorry to make my parents worried for me =(

last night, i've learnt so much things..
suddenly, i found Ella was right, i might be naturally good at those.
i was not shy or affraid to dance with guys like that. then... i also find myself quite flirty ...
hummm and then... the mroe i see in the clubs and bars, the more i find...
actually i dont need to be too nice to the guys. when i'm just natually being good to them,
they're no good to me.
i told Ella, now i dont think opposite attraction is right. coz it's like.. no matter how good i'm,
i'm a nice girl i know, i'm just nice, but... i still have the evil side of mine.
if you meet me in the clubbing place, you would find my another face.
i dont know what the guys feel about me, but i'm sexy, i feel so hot there, exactly.
i was pretty supprised.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

today, got back to work !!!
then i saw Ella!! hahahah what?!! her outfit was just almost the same as mine!!!!
i was so embarassed!!! we both wear red top, i got a deep v-neck top with deep grey tank inside,
from Van, then i got a tripe brown pants from Colors of the Blenenton with my Roxy casual shoses.
and hahahaha !! she's almost the same! Red top with tank from Esprit with the different pattern stripe
brown pants !! hahaha it's DAMN FUNNY !!! =D it's like the uniform man... haha..
teacher May was saying.. what happened. hahaha.. and Ella said we're twins.
she's actually like my sister. haha.. happy huh.
we had lunch together.. it was embarassing when we walked out the office haha..

then yea.. i did some reading with my reader digest and now i'm enjoying my new album!
i finally get the Justin Timberlake CD... cool man... it's really cool.
i odnt care how timberlake is, i just like his songs and style.

i was very pissed off while i recieved the copies of those 7 posters.
i was sooooo angry ! i wonder What the FUCK! it's been so annoying already!
they really dont understand how much work to do if i just recieve one of their wrong copies.
it takes thousands of years to download and print them out. and i need to spend what a long
time to proof read everything ! then i could easily found out so many damn mistakes that even if a
primary student capable with ! i had been so patient and polite to them! coz i know that's work,
and i do appreciate them working for us! but they really pissed me off again and again.
WHY? coz of the bad attitude of her ! you kept bringing me troubles and i'm ur customer!
how could you be that rude to me since i ve been so friendly and polite to you guys !
Funny hor, you changed one of those mistakes and sent back to me claiming that's all done.
FUCK UP ! then i be patient and polite with them, then she is like.. correcting it, but sent me the old
version and i spend 15 mins to dowlaod one poster, and i found that's all wrong! how frustrated ?!!!
then, i called back she said that's my fault! very obviously that's not my problem!
then i corrected them again on all those mistakes. funny.. she asked me to be fast.
WHAT?!!! more funnier is that that guy was so stupid that keep wasting my time!!!!
i told him the problems, and where is the problems, he kept saying something i dont mention about!
then ended up... corrcting ONLY parts of the mistakes and GIVES BIRTH to the NEW MISTAKES!
i was totally pissed off... i dont call or talk to them ANYMORE !!!!
i really wanna go confront them face to face ! but i dont wanna lose my temper.
i told Ella and Richard i m so pissed...
then... they will go to there tomorrow. i m not going anymore. if they give me any troubles anymore,
i would just be harsh confronting them for every words i've said and for every stupid troubles
they HAVE BROUGHT to us !


and then...
tomorrow i will work also, a private class for my cousin, then go to TST. i need to breath.

and next sunday, i will go have my hair cut, i'm gonna straighten my hair and add some color
on. it's time to change the hair style, coz i wanna feel yonger.
and... the naughty side is just another side of myself. i'm gonna show it off.
well, forgive my bad spellings. haha..

nice.. and i wonder to go ice skating after the hair cut if Ella 's going with me.
we both wanna go ice skating.

then the next week, we might to to China. coz we need to purchase some stuffs for our
christmas programme. heehee.
dont know..
but better dont go clubbing too often.

Stephen left me a message" yeah". i dont know what does that mean.
he's just being difficult to me.
well, i dont wanna rung around guy's world anymore.
i think i'm more than that. and i used to be weak. yea like what Ella said.
i'm weak but i 'm brave.. anyway, i m gonna be walking in my own way.
coz i just found out that there're lots of fishes in the sea. i could really go hunting or fishing only
if i want to. now, i dont want to do that. i just wanna breath that fresh air.

sometimes i'm jut lonely, but... so ?
i dont know.

i got a mesg from an old friend Justin today. thanks dude. i hope he's fine and happy.

thanks queenie, thanks my parents, thanks my aunt, thanks Justin, thanks Ella and Richard ;)

>>November 18, 2006 at 5:54:23 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 15 日 星期三 【晴】

i'm damn tired...
really..

i back to office late today, very late, one hr more late.. why? coz i worked at home.
hummm back, then had been busy for stuffs.. printing stuffs..
then went out had unch with Ella and her usband. we had a lunch time together today.
forget about my little shopping time supposed for this afternoon.
nevermind, i just mneed to buy that book and a t-shirt.
anyway, we had dim sum in a resturant today, then... back to the office.
quite busy today.. coz.. we had a decoration time today!
and after that, my Fiona came. we had a class today.

well, she's pretty lazy... then she's learning about odering food and the fasfood topic.
then i brought her to McDonald's. we read the menu together, kept asking her questions on the menu.
asked her to observe how i oder food in english, asked her to try understanding what the manager
and i were communicationg about. after discussion, we wanted juice.
then back to the office, and we did some revision, and writting stuffs.

then after she left.. i had been busy for adv again... went picking up stuffs from the coppy store,
back and worked on those, then helping Ella in a class. great.. after work.. it's late already..
back home and had dinner and watcing "Nip Tuck".
tomorrow's lunch gathering with aunt and mom is canceled.
but Ella, her husband and me will to clubbing tomorrow. yes, clubbing again in Lan Kwai Fong.
no reasons why, just for fun. we all need fun time right? no rights reserved for any special one,
so no excluding also. everyone gets the right to do whatever he/ she wants with no harms.
that's also why i dont like to judge on ppl. coz i dont feel i have the rights doing that also.
i'm only responsible for myself and be true to myself. i'm individualism and you can say i'm irresponsible
for the society. i just feel like too heavy for me to carry those social issues. i'm none of those
speakers and i dont give the shit on those special issues. so... no politics things for me.
i'm smart on lots of things, but i dont usually expand on my good points.

i wonder if i should start searching those stuffs inside me. i could be great on business actually.
i found i'm quite creative and i usually gives good and unique ideas if i get straight to the point,
i mean... i m good at the market senses. but i'm just not good on theories things in economics studies.
that's why i screwed up my econ classes. fuck, i only got D grades...
anyway, i dont care. i feel good to help Ella. coz she respects me and we work well.
sometimes she does take my opinions and... count on me. so i feel really special to work with her.
she's such my sister also, always take care of me, concern on me and my family.
that's nice. she's nice. we have many similarities actually. well, she's a good boss and nice friend.

just now i watched " Nip Tuck". tears down again.
that man has problems.. he wants to cut his leg down to make himself completence.
Christain doubts lots and lots about helping him on the surgery... then... finally he did..
coz,... he just want to help him to make him feel completence.
we're all doing this everyday, rent we ? we work, we search for fun, we shop, do whatever..
go dating, having sex or whatever just for... a completence feelings, true ?

Julia and Shawn divorced. then, Julia started her own business, when Shawn and Christain
both looked down on her. she succeed on her business, and Shawn talk with her.
Julia said... she had never imagined that losing the marriage would make her finding herself
now can actually being better.

Christain back home and asked Kimber to marry him. coz... he wants to complete his life with marriage.
he finds that without Kimber, he couldnt survive till the moment now. he said " i love you" on his
real fisrt time.

suddenly, Stephen messaged me in msn..
we talk a little bit.. and i shared my feelings with him..
i odntknow what does he think...
but i ve told mine.
i'm not doing anything wrong if i really travel along to just for seeing him.
eventhough i might be hurt or facing so many troubles afterward, it would still be fine.
coz without him, without seeing him, i wont feel completence.
i might meet someone i dont know in the future, but what if i cant satisfy with my answer now,
i'm sure it'll not be good for me to move on.

tomorrow i will need to be busy again.
good night sleep cas..
wish you good day tomorrow.

>>November 16, 2006 at 4:05:03 PM GMT+8

2006 年 11 月 14 日 星期二 【晴】

" My Love " Justin Timberlake:



hello..

i woke up late but came on line, same..
had been reading and eating my breakfast.
i bought a "book", called "Reader's Digest" i love articles.
then... did some work also. created the form for the purchase order.

then... went out for some business things, and then had lunch with my parents.
we had dim sum today... dad drove me back to the office..
then had been working... finding good exercise for Alex and Fiona.
prepared a bit, then Ella and i seat down talking about business things..
we'll be quite busy in next month. we start to organize the new event for next month.
then now, i m busy with some adv and prepration.

the class with Alex was fine. we did lots of things today.
then afer his class, i had been working on adv again.

hummm
i got nightmares recently.
i saw myself ... upset in relationship.

then today i wokeu p.. there was only me at home.. i was... feeling very lonely.
i turned on the radio when i was in washroom, then in living room i switchedon tv,
in bedroom i let the computer on..
last night the connection wasnt stable, this morning was fine, now in the evening is not good again..
i really wanan live by myself, but ... now i'm very weak. it's like... i'm desperated wanting care
and love by ppl, my frineds, my family and Stephen.. but i know why i'm that.
coz i dont feel close with Stephen anymore. he's so far away from me now.

anyway, life goes on...
no matter how sad i am, how lonely i feel, it wont change the fct that we're apart.
and in the future, no one can tell.

i'm so lonely... what the hell..

i found myself tears when i woke up.
i m so affraid..
i dont find one with closeness in HK.. the one i love is so far away from me..
and coz of that, the affection is fading off.
hat's the fact. and i'm upset.

since yesterday, i couldnt come on line again...
bad connection... shit...

>>November 15, 2006 at 5:13:42 PM GMT+8