2007 年 6 月 7 日 星期四 【晴】

sleepy, tired, sleepy, tired.

i was free this morning...
then had lunch with mom.
i finally tried the doubble fish.. haha the Filet O' Fish from McDonald.
double fish =P nice.
hummmm very long havent eaten Filet O Fish.
the last time was the very fresh one... in Van. actually the McDonald's in Van is better than HK.
the last time i ate.. was with Cap or Stephen?
i miss the Tim Horton's Tim bits now. my fav.

anyway... mom kept asking me why we broke up. i didnt tell her, then she was so funny..
she kept guessing. well.. i dont wanna tell her.
no matter what.. it's about... me and him.

i worked... i read my book..
i had class with Alex. hummm he's ok. just a bit forgetful on the vocublary.
he's very naughty. i tink he would stop the homework club after the exam.
and Mandy too i guess. so.. yea... summer holiday for me too? no. haha.

ppl say my hair looks good. i dont think so. i dont like it.

hummmm last night... i did something i'd never done, when i was with Stephen..
i didnt feel bad. i felt fine. maybe now i'm experiencing what i should know ?
well, i m responsible for myself only, i'm free now.
i can do whatever i want.

Emre keeps talking to me recently... which i need to thank him for.
especially during my exams, so that i was not too lonely facing my exam.
it was very stressful for me. if there was only me... it would definitely too harsh for me.
i could handle still but very difficult. it was really hard.
i was in pain about the break up. still pain now, but i'm feeling better.
yea... wanna thank Emre....
Alesja asked me if Emre and i would have a chance...
i dont think so. he's cute, he's nice and sweet. he's hot.. but... no.
i'm not considering any relationship now.

i guess.. now i just wanna be single, at least for awhile.
coz... i could have all the freedom and concerns on myself.
i have to explore more and experience more in this world.
i just want to study, work and play.
if i m in a serious relationship again... i would never be able to play hard.
now.. i can be playful. and i enjoy playing this. maybe... i just shouldnt really love a person.
i should love myself more than ever.
i dont know. give me some time.

Thanks Cyn... thanks girl... *hugs..


anyway..
i enjoy reading my book =)

after tmr, i would have three days off.
hummmmm.

good night Alesja,
good night Emre,
good night everyone.....
*yawning...


if you ask me if i still miss him..
yes. i still miss him.

>>June 8, 2007 at 6:04:21 PM GMT+8

2007 年 6 月 6 日 星期三 【晴】

hummmm
i couldnt wake up again.
i slept ard 3 somethign i guess...
crazy... after chating with Alesja.. i saw him.. i forgot his name hahaha.
then yea.. we chatted till 3 something.. crazy.
it's funny coz he wants to impress me. well.. it doesnt work that easily hahhahaha.

i worked today.. this morning was boring. i was very sleepy.
then in the afternoon, i was just very busy. i had two classes.
Fiona, then Alex.
hummmmmmmm just super tired.
really.

then...... .. . . . ... . . . ... yea.. i left.


i got my heart broken, i m back to be single again, and that's terrifying.
that's what i've been going through in the past two weeks.
everyday is painful, with lots of tiring stress from work and school.
i couldnt rest yet desiring rest. thinking of lots of why and why.
i guess.. i couldnt firgue out what went wrong with myself or him, whatever..
i just couldnt firgue out. maybe i wouldnt know ever. somehow when i think of him now..
it's kindda complicated. when i look at his ring everytime, i pain. sometimes.. i just thinking of his good,
sometimes i think of the bad. well.. it's really tiring and painful. but then.. when i think of now..
he should have been seeing some ppl now. guess he really moves on fast. then.. i think...
i just shouldnt bother him. no matter what i say now just means nothing at all and only anoying him.
whatever i do, it shows i'm a loser or whatever.. so... why put myself as a loser when i'm not.

i just guess... might be... it's really the time to let go now. i m moving on.
i lost someone i really love, but... so ? everyone moves on fast, why not me.
i thoguht he would be the one. he was the one... but.... i dont understand. so many things that
i dont understand. maybe... it was my bad... if it's true... and i didnt recgonize that. so ?
especially when that person doesnt care about me anymore, i guess i better just leave it and walk away.
no matter how much i miss him or love him.. it wont work anymore. wake up.


actually... back to be single is really terrible, but i gain back my freedom of choices again.
bad to lose, but.. i dont know.
and after this time, i really see myself being tougher, become a more attractive woman with
confident, prettier out look, and smarter wiser mind. i should be happy for myself.
like what my frineds said.. "do myself a favor."
i was in pain. now, it's still painful sometime, but i m fine =)
yay~~~ give Castor Hi-5 ! =)
my birthday is coming very very soon... wanna have some fun with my friends.

Castor, what do you think?
Stay strong, be charming all the time like you always are.
he doesnt love you, so ?
love yourself =)

thanks Stephen. He was the great one.
i think iwould still love him. but from now on, everything is just different.

>>June 7, 2007 at 3:10:17 PM GMT+8

2007 年 6 月 5 日 星期二 【晴】

i m sooooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy...

hummm i was late..


anyway..
i have been very very busy today at office.
morning time, had been helping on class, then... making diff things..
afternoon, i was preparing the banner and some other promotion tools.
then i got class with Fiona. sigh... i was kindda pissed, i was strict...
i wasnt rude to her.. but then lazy her just kindda crying to me to cpmplaint not wanting classwork.
i was angry. but then... maybe she's just too tired.. so i let her rest and let her go.
i kow she doesnt mean to be rude. sigh.... anyway.. i will see her tomorrow.
then after Fiona, i have Alex and Mandy...
God... today was still okay. but i was really tired.
anyway, Mandy had done her exam. then Alex's exam is comign soon.
hummmmm... Alex always want me to call him Stephen. i dont wanna call him Stephen.
whatever.


after class... i have been busy to make the banner and the promotion stuffs.
hummmm =) i stayed till 9 pm.. andi finally got them done.
not only by me, Ella and Richard helped hanging them on.
it looks soooooooo GOOD! i love my arts ! hahaha. it's just really NICE =)
i'm going ot take some pics soon..

actually.. it makes me thinking of the old office.
in the christmas time.. i was doing lots of posters, decorations, and the christmas camp banner..
i love the place, i love that time. i was very busy and tiring.. but it was nice, well now i find it nice. haha.
then.. yea... i was still with Stephen at that time, it wasnt too bad. i just had many meorries with him
there. tonight.. i passed by the old office.. now it's changed to be the Neo Print's shop..
hummmm not so nice but.. yea.. it's changed, very different now... weird but real... it's changed.

after that long hrsss work... from 10 40am to 9 pm..
Ella, Richard and me went to the Taiwaese Tea house to have "bubble tea" and snack.
humm we catch up there... talk talk talk..
eventhough we work together.. we dont have time to chat..
we usually talk about work stuffs, discuss on business things, talking about the children,
then.... we joke sometimes but not much.. yea.. so when we're sitting down and chat..
we become close frineds again. haha.
thanks Ella and Richards. i guess.. i m ok...
hummm we talk about my birthday, and some gifts. hahaha... i think i will stick with what i wanna do.
anyway.. very nice to chat with them =) thanks.

Alesja has some problems .. hummmmm ok.. i hope she'll be fine soon.
then,... wishing Leo would be fine too...
then.... i chated with Cap last night on webcam.. so funny.. my 1st time chating iwth her on webcam.
and she's in HK!!!! hahaha..
then.. she said.. she wished me sweet dreams.. but i dont want. i dont want dreams. i dont want to
remember sweet dreams. dreams make my memorries stronger. i dont want it.


anyway...
i'm so sleepy..

i wish tomorrow would be a bright happy day.
i dont wanna wake up with the same old sad face again.
i woke up... with a sad face this morning...

P.S.
=) ppl who notice my new hair, they like it , heehee. YAY!

>>June 6, 2007 at 5:45:18 PM GMT+8

2007 年 6 月 4 日 星期一 【晴】

last night, i just slept ard 4 40 am.... i was really sleepy..
then... i didnt really study for my exam actually... it was sooooo confusing...
i just dont know how to start, and dont know what i should do.

then..... Mere ? is his name Mere? omg.. he was on line..
then yea...
but he's kindda innocent. hummmm i think... i know hwat he wants, but he's just very young like..
i think he has a hard target. coz i m not gonna buy it.
but then i guess... i have told him directly enough. he's sweet but.. no.. i dont want.

hummm i dont know..
i hardly got up this morning, but never be able to study again.
it was so painful this morning..
then... i rushed back to school.. sucks..
then i took my exam... it was not as hard as i thought... i was lucky.
but then... some students add answer sheets again =S
this time.. i only wrote ard 6 or 7 of 8 pages.
i got not much points. all about discribing (CREATING) abnormalty symptoms.
he asked me to create the scenario... =( i dont like that.
but then i have done it anyway =)

after that, i went to TST... i go get my hair done.
i dye my hair and cut it again. side bang with layer this time hahaha...
golden/ blonde with copper color high-light.
hummmm i dont like it.. i dont like that copper color and the style is not what i like.
anyway... i was thinking... Michale.. you really screw my hair again... heehee...
this time is your last chance.. i think i m not going back to there anymore.
hahaha.... sigh. so ugly.

then i thought of someone...

today before going ot school.. i cried a bit at home..
i sms him. i supposed he wouldnt get it.


it's not right, not okay...
i m not fine, i m in pain...
it's harder everyday..



so sleepy..
good night.

>>June 5, 2007 at 5:33:28 PM GMT+8

2007 年 6 月 3 日 星期日 【晴】

hummm

i left ard 5 am this morning. i havent finished all of my revision.
then.. i woke at 7 40 am. had been reviewing on hte way to school.

we have two sections today. Part A 40%, choose 1 of 2 ques.
then B parts 30%@, choose 2 of 3 ques.
i have filled in the whole answer book fully, 8 pages.
every single lines, A4 size.
hummmm i know some classmates have requested for another answer book.
that's crazy =.=
i thought 8 pages are enough.... Part A, i wrote 4 pages fully.
then in Part B, 2 full pages @. i guess it was okay..
of course ihave missed some points... i m not supprised.. it s impossible for me to get full marks.
i just hope that i could get 90% heehee. so maybe possible to have an A in total heehee.
but it's difficult anyway...
the questions are not complicated. it's quite direct. but then... yea..... coz i havent much time to prepare,
so... i m satisfied actually. hummmm tomorrow i will have Abnormal Psychology final.
i'm worried for this one, coz i d never prepared anything for it.... sigh.

wah..... Emre was waiting for me waking up.. i wonder if he's a bit crazy.
but last night i was crying.. he was there making face to make me laugh. thanks.

i wish Alesja would finish her exam soon too =) then i dont know how Karen's doing today.
humm she left earlier than me. i guess she's doing great.
Rami is studying for his exam too. sounds like everyone is hard working for exams! =)

then.. i got chat with Cyn... hummm thanks her... i would do my best on my exam.
i m just very confused sometimes, but then... i would like to focus on my exam first.

sometimes... the pics of memorries in Van are floating on my mind.. sometimes i need to think about
if it s in HK or Van. seems like i mixed two places together.
in my mind, i wanna go to library then i got the image of Downtown library in Granvile in Van.
or suddenly, i just feel like to have the ice-cream, i would start thinking of the Geleto in Robson Downtown.
but then when i think about ot go, start to plan, then i woke up.. no.. i m in hk now.
i said i wanna buy some donuts, then i need to remind myself that the only donut shop in HK now is
very far from home. i wanna get a coffee, it's not as easy to get it anytime i want within 10 mins.
strange feelings. feel like ot meet up with Ade and Cyn and Cap. it's not as easy as a call away now.
i wanna go to broadway, but excuses me? which broadway ? confusing. haha.. i miss there.
and i miss the ppl at there.

today on the bus... going home... i just cried.
i was listening to the songs. i guess... i just need to listen to the songs many many time to adapt to them.
bad huh?
Cas, dont cry.

anyway... work hard on the exam...
then i would be a bit free for the next week.
my birthday would be on the next Tuesday..... before i was still wondering if i would recieve a gift
from Stephen... now i just dont think i would. mom asked me if he would still send me anything.
she asked me if i would send him something... i dont know.
hummm last birthday was a bit sad... and this year would be sad again? why my birthday is always
sad ? hummmmm =(

tomorrow, after exam, i will go fix my hair. my last chance to my hairstylist.
hahaha.. if he screws up my hair again, i will never be back to there.


work hard Cas..
maybe he has already moved on. get it over please.






Ooohh
ohh duu duu
ohh
wooohoo woohoo woo
hmmm

Want to, but I cant help it
I love the way it feel
Just got me stuck between
My fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it,
I want it when I don't
Tell myself I stop everyday knowing that I wont

I got a problem tonight,
(Don't know what to do about it)
Even if I did, I don't know if I would quit,
but I doubt it I

Taking by the thought of it
and I know this much is true
Baby you.. had become my addiction
I'm so strong, I want you
I can't barely move,
but I like it
and then it's all because of you
(all because of you..)
and then it's all because of you
(all because of you..)
and then it's all because of you
(all because of you..)
and then it's all because..

Never get enough, She's the sweetest stuff (ohh)

Think of it every second,
I can't get nothing done
Only concern is the next time
I'm going to get me some
Know what I should stay away from
'Cause it's no good for me
I try and try, but my obsession won't let me leave

I got a problem tonight,
(Don't know what to do about It)
Even if I did, I don't know if I would quit,
but I doubt It I

Taking by the thought of it (heyy)
and I know this much is true
Baby you.. had become my addiction
I'm so strong, I want you, (Strong I want you)
I can't barely move, (ohh)
but I like it (and i like it)
and then it's all because of you (ohh)
(all because of you..)
and then it's all because of you
(all because of you..)
and then it's all because of you
(all because of you..)
and then it's all because..

Never get enough (Never get enough), she's the sweetest stuff (ohh)

Ain't no doubt (no doubt..), so strong I (strong I..)
Ain't no doubt (i said it ain't no doubt), so strong I
(heyy) Over you (Over you), Over you (you..), Over you (you..)

ohh whoo ohh
Because of you and it's all because of you.

Never get enough, she's the sweetest stuff
She's the sweetest stuff

>>June 4, 2007 at 11:11:44 AM GMT+8

2007 年 6 月 2 日 星期六 【晴】

today...


i woke up like 12 ? i was so tired.
then... eating lunch, and studying...

then... i took a walk.
i walked to Tai Po Center. i went to ParknShop to buy some tea-bags and biskits..
i also bought black coffee from McCafe.
then... back home... resting.. watching America's Next Top Model.

i gotta study for the rest tonight.
very worried..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


now it's 4 am... already...

i still have one task only... Language Development..

but i m crying now...

thanks Emre has been here on line with me.
he's a bit irretating.. but at least i'm not alone studying.

i updated on the Facebook.
i asked... if irt's really that easy to feel close with someone ? like..
yea you're sucessful, you have everything you want now..
but then ou're alone. there's no one sharing with you.
what is the glory or achievement for?
is that really easy to hold someone so close?
even though there're lots of guys or girl ard.. i just cant. why i cant?

i just think of this song...
from my baby songs-cd, by Stephen.
and it made me crying more...


My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

>>June 3, 2007 at 8:28:58 PM GMT+8

2007 年 6 月 1 日 星期五 【晴】

hummm

i was back ot the office since 9 am. gosh... i left ard 8 20pm.

it wasnt too bad at the begining. i was back, i took care of some notes then i studyed a bit
then i left to McDonald's to have my breakfast. so long havent eaten Hotcakes with jam =)
then carrying my half coffee back to the office start fighting.
Mandy, my student came. she stayed for 4 hrs, PISSING ME OFF.
i was so angry. i was so busy with many small things, then she kept bothering me.
i give her works to do she refused, kept asking me and bothering everyone. it was so.. bad.
i have scolded her, coz she was so lazy and still being very rude to me.
the parents saw her and sigh. whatever. i just do my job, i try to help her.
i actually should go to the bank today, and i need to study for my exam, i have many small things
to handel every Sat. but coz her mom requested for her exam, i helped. omg. whatever.

then,... i had my lunch ard 3 pm. i was supposed to have lunch at 1 on Sat.
and i idnt really have my lunch break. i just ate at my desk.
i had been kindda rest and doing job till 8 20. yea..
then back home... finally just watched the movie and had sushi... parents not home.
had been resting. i just couldnt study. omg.


hummmmm...
maybe i just need some sleep.


btw... i hate ppl adding me on Perfspot now. kindda irretating. junking my mail box.
it's crazy there. yea some guys are nice. but some are crazy. some girls added me.
anyway..

i'm really running out of time now. i'm so worried for my exam.
stressed.. i need sleep and relax.


now..
my friends are all important to me...
coz when i'm in need, they never left me.
same as my family. actually i think they might know i were sad.
they helped me to get through those.

good night Cas.
stay good. dont bother otehr things now.

>>June 2, 2007 at 5:56:25 PM GMT+8

2007 年 5 月 31 日 星期四 【晴】

just now watching tv... finally it's the happy ending. YEAH!
it was not bad.. i quite like this dramma show.
hummmmm no more 溏心風暴 now... hummmm.

i'm really running out of time now... i mena my exam..
i study at the office today...
this morning Mandy came. she talked to me, then.. she encouraged me. =) i felt so warm.
then Karen also encouraged me. i felt so warm. then ... yea... i think of the ppl who have been
believing in me... they want me to do my best on my studies, they believe me that i could make it.
i dont want to let them down, i dont want to regret... so i just keep my spirit on, keep it burning now.
i really want to do great now.

i was busy working and studying today...
i had lunch with my parents today... since i'm back, i didnt really have time to eat with them.
then.. mom also talk with me.. she kindda explains to me like how the couple life would be like..
i was wondering that she supposed we were married. she also told dad about me and Stephen.
then... dad also gave advice. suprisingly, they are not teaching me what to do, they're just telling
me what a couple life might be like. they were not asking a lot now. they're not aggressive on us now.
they're calm, and they seem accepted Stephen already.. but........ we're not married.
and actually we broke up. i m not sure if we would be together... hmmm..
i e-mailed him today... hummmmm.... i dont know now...


at office, everything is fine again. Ella found another person to fix the old office.
then the tanant there were very friendly to us. hummmmm....


anyway...
i need to study now..

i forgot to make the notes for Sophia.... so i might need to go back to the office early tomorrow =S
then i will study at there.
i have finally done one big part. i still have four parts to do.. i think i will try to finish one part tonight.
then... tomorrow two parts, sunday one part. so then i could start for another sub on sunday.

hummmmmmmmmmm........

>>June 1, 2007 at 5:05:36 PM GMT+8

2007 年 5 月 30 日 星期三 【晴】

i m fucking tired, very stressed.

i was very very busy at work.
before i left the office. i was really pissed on phone talking with a man.
i'd never really confronted a person like that on phone. i smacked the table three times.
i felt like i was a lawyer. ha.. but i was very angry arguing out a point with that man.
did i scare anyone? maybe.
he was juts very dishonest. i hate ppl doing business like he doing.
so fucking stupid. i felt like insulted. i dontk now what Ella's decision is.. whatever.

today.. i saw the old office got re-done. i walked in again.. i had the very strange feelings.
i used to walk in a warm and colorful office. but today i went in.. it's all empty without anything.
it was a bit strange. it's like everything there was erased. is that true? sigh.. anyway... it's ok.

then.. i had class with Alex and Mandy today. i was so tired. i was just so tired.

i studyed last night till almost 4 am...
my eyes were pain. but then i found i still have tonz of thigns i have to do. i m so worried now.
but then i dont have enough energy to study as well. i'm so stressed now.
sigh.... i feel like to cry again... Cas.. be tough...

then.. i didnt have time to go to the post office today. hummmm sorry for making Ade waiting.


it's so funny.. the guys from a net profile are so funny and freaky.
someone asked me directly, where is your webcam ? then i said.. i put it under my skirt.
(i am wearing pants. and i didnt want to go webcam with him.)
then he said.. turn it on or something like that, then i told him no. he asked why. i told him coz my
webcam told me that he's shy. hahahaha. so strange person.
then anotehr guy was even more funnier.. he suddenly said so many thing asked so many ques.
made me wonder if he's in sane. he is so mean then he said he's kidding. i found him funny,
i could be mean to him too. so i guess we just kept saying mean things to each others.
he's just random. ppl out there are just so crazy.



i e-mailed Stephen today.
i dont know. i just miss him
every little things could just make me think of him.
he's still there... in my heart..

hummmm one of the reasons why i'm sad about the old office is... about him.
coz.. the time i usually chat with him is the time when i was in office.
so.. i really had memorries there.

i know if i really wanan forget him... i have to do something, change something.
does he really wanna give up ? or he has already given up?
sometimes i would wonder... what my love means to him...

anyway... tonight.. i just dont want to study .. i wanna rest and sleep.

but how about my exam? omg.. i got headache...





the song i like... "Wont go home without you"- Maroon 5.
it's like talking ot myself..

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that It's not over tonight

The taste of your breath, I'll never get over
The noises that you made kept me awake
Oh
The weight of things that remaind unspoken
Built up so much it crushed us everyday


another song.... "Better That We Break" Maroon 5.

I never knew perfection til
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It's not right, not ok
Say the words that you say
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday


okay...
screwing my exams so that i could rest ?
tense up myself for the exam, and screw other thigns?
Cas, you got the choice or you dont have the choice?

not okay.

>>May 31, 2007 at 5:06:41 PM GMT+8

2007 年 5 月 29 日 星期二 【晴】

omg..

i slept at 4 am last night. i was in bed since 3 sth am..
then... i slept at 4. i was reading my book. i found it more interesting than my text books. ha.
then.... woke up a few times... finally got up, a bit late.
then rushing to go... then had a rush breakfast, thanks mom.

back to office i was suprised that Ella has early class with three babies.
hummmmm okay.. i was not late hee.
then, had been sitting there... trying to do revision... but i couldnt focus.
i m just getting worried. i have wasted so much time. i should have been done so many chapters,
but i just didnt really start. screw me. i m damn worried. sigh.

then.. doing this and that.. then on lunch break, i went to buy a big envelope for Ade's T-shirt.
hummmm maybe she still has no ideas what Cap and i are gonna send her.
i called her last night... ard 2 sth am. we talk for an hr. at the end i was just crying ot her.
omg.. i was crying.. then.. yea.. my eyes were so tired.

anyway...
i didnt really feel like to eat... then when i got back to the office.. i just pulled down the gate,
and i stayed in the small room and started crying. i cried for awhile.. but loudly.. it's kinda embarassing
if outside anyone heard me.
sigh.

Queenie asked me today.. why i make myself in troubles, as in... making myself so sad.
and i guess... all of my friends dont really understand me or what i am thinking.
i dont know. i cant tell you what i am thinking, coz i dont know how to explain it.

it's just very tough for me. i just hope that my friends would believe me and just give me a hug.
i'm sad, i m not in sane or what. if you cant understand me, it's okay.
i dont understand sometimes when my frineds would get angry at my sadness or something?
i'm not yelling at you or showing you attitude. i just dont know. so, plz dont be mad at me when i cant
tell you the answers. i do love your concerns. but... when you get mad at my responses, and i dont
understand you, that would bring me more questions. i'm sorry.

i called Karen today. i told her i couldnt focus on my studies. i think she is working hard on the prep now.
well.. she's my new frined at school. she was trying to help me out. thanks girl. i will try my best.
i dont wanna let you down too.

i had a class with Alex and Mandy today. woooo.... i was so tired. i did some revision with them.
now, i really scold them and be strict to them. i need to take control in the classroom.
i dont let them being the wild kids in my class anymore. if you're naughty, i would give punishment.
if you're trying to be good, i give rewards. i'm fair to both them, i get them in to competition as well.
my punishment is kind of fun. if i just say.. "okay, Alex, i dont want to talk to you now. then i turned
my head, then Alex would be like.. ohhhh no no no miss Lau... then he would be good." haha.
then when i said to Mandy like.. "ok Mandy, i was giving you time but you dont do work, ok now,
go play, i dont want you in my class now, you have many time now." hahaha... then she would be
like.. "sorry miss Lau erhhhh... then she would do her work."
okay, during the tea time, they would start yelling about snack or water. hahaha.
if they do good, then i would let them have more freedom. if they're bad then i would say.. ok today
no tea time. then i would get them to work harder. but if they do better, i would give them some
snack after class. and they love my start-rating. they would try best to get the golden star .
i just love my students. they're very noisy very naughty, but when they try to do their jobs,
they're the cuttest kids in the world. then i am so happy to see they have learnt something new each
time. they have improvement.


hummmmmm...
after that, then i had been busy till almost 9 pm.

i looked the ppl redo the old office today. i felt such the pain in heart suddenly.
it's like.. i was there working for 6 months. i had so many memorries there. but then i didnt have time
to say bye to the place, maybe take a few pics, no... no time. then.. it was gone already. pies by pies.
and from tomorrow, new ppl would move in for new business. it's no longer Elchards's place.
hummm it's kindda sad. but we have the new office. we would have new life here.
Cas... dont be sad, look forward.

Henry sms me last night and today. thanks. seems like he's not giving up trying to be frined with me.
actually.. i dont mind to be frined with him again. i am not angry at him for long ago, since last time
i really gave bad comments about him on my diary, i realized myself forgiving the past already.
but i really dont want his girlfriend misunderstand again or i dont know if she minds or not.
and for Henry... i wish him cherrish his girlfriend, stay good with her. otherwise, i dont think we should
be in contact again. anyway... thanks him.


hummmmmm...
i e-mailed Stephen today...
i just couldnt... get through my sadness and stress.
and for my exam.. i just couldnt focus on it, the biggest reason why... is coz i've lost my realtionship.
it's very important huh? yea...
it's so weird. i could work, i could hang out but not sitting down studying or sleeping.
working and hanging out are not my biggest thing in my life, at least not now.
my study is the biggest thing now, and resting is my problem.
and i couldnt do both... it distress me so much.

feeling like in a war, i need to put all of my energy and efforts on my exams.

i think i just need him.
maybe i'm not tough enough, i just need him at this moment.
i just wish him to be with me, stay on my side now.
would he?

>>May 30, 2007 at 6:13:03 PM GMT+8