2007 年 12 月 26 日 星期三 【晴】

The Christmas 2007 is gone.
i'm back to the office.

Happy Birthday to Jesus.

This Christmas Eve was fine.
i stayed home, then at night, i just went to Ella's house for a small party.
hahaha. it was okay. i got the gifts, one was from Ella.
It was a Wedding Book, which is full of the wedding stuffs, pictures, and information.
back home and it was late like 1 30am..
we took lots of pictures, and some are funny. Mendy was funny, May was funny.

on the 25th, The Christmas Day,
it was great. my family and i had a day out as usual. it was quite nice.
we went to TST for dim sum, then we went to Causeway Bay, the night market.
we took many pics, then... we saw lots of new stuffs and food. we bought some snacks,
and i tried the durain egg tart, quite yummy.
we left, then met aunt Lily. i vistied her in Van this Spring, then.. we met aunt Ching as well.
we all had Shan Hai-ese food, Chinese food bascially. it was so so.. the place was not that clean or comfortable.
then.. we went to Central. we took lots of pics there. it was a mini concert by some churches,
then.. yea... haha. then we took Ferry back to TST.

yesterday was The Boxing Day.
well, before that, i was forced by friends to open some gifts when i recieved them haha.
so.. i just opened the rest of them with my sisters. it's just as same every years =)
and we enjoy a lot. not about the gifts that excite us, but just that kind of kiddish fun hahaha.
well of course the gifts were attracting us this year, coz.. there re quite lots of gifts, small and big.
then yea, some were pretty nice and lovely too. then... after the opening gifts morning,
i stayed home resting.. then.. yea.. almost evening ard 6, i met Shan. hahaha... finally.
then we had bubble tea in Tai Po. we exchanged gift, finally. haha.. then.. i just know i got..
too much coffee now! so funny her bought me so much diff coffee powder in a huge box.
then we took some pics. and we went home.
my fmaily and i had hot pot last night, hahaha. quite nice. but we ate till 12 30am from 10 pm. hahah...
then... we also watched "Home Alone" as usual. heehee. we just love this movie in Christmas.
Henry texted me, but i didnt reply him. he called. then i didnt really talk, i didnt want to talk with him.
after hung up, he texted me again. i dont understand him. i thought it was pretty clear to him.
i thought he understood that i dont wanna be invloved with him. i was mad at him at that time,
i thought everything was clear, but then in his text mesg or call, i just dont know what he's thinking about.

so.. this is the end of my Christmas Holiday, and the end of this... Christmas..
hummmmm =) happy and... happy.
and now, here i'm waiting for my last gift =) hee from my honey.
i'm not expecting much and much, just that little gift i would be happy. coz... no matter what he
sends me, that would still be sweet and warm, lovely yea? hee.
i'm very glad actually.
then yea, back to work this morning, hummmm... then i would have alot to preare and to work on,
for my exams coming this Sat and the next Mon. 3 Finals. hummm.. stressed.
hopefully i'd be fine. and then, need to help Alex on his exam. i made mock exam paper for him
last Sat. and then, i have many personal things to take care of as well.
like many plans to do actually. i need time to organize a bit.

anyway, anyway, anyway,
with all the blessing =) Castor has passes a few crsis this year,
and hopefully, i will do better and better next year! hahah.. the revolution is coming soon..
work hard Cas !

Thanks Jesus for giving me a good family and happy time in my life.
Thanks Him for all the blessing, help and love.
Thanks my family loving me. thanks my honey being so patient with me, waiting for me.
thanks my friends as well. there're just so many love from my family, friends and honey, and.. God.
thanks all.

* i changed the pic and colour, the last theme was since 1 year and so, or longer i guess.
i like that color and the energy, but i'm not that... kind of... into so much teenage youger life.
well in my life there were 3 or 4 times i appeared in LKF pubs. having a drink with friends in
bars, it was less than 5 times. i couldnt remember, but anyway, i m not.. that curious about
that kind of fun anymore. i'm more down to earth and simple. haha friends might laugh at me that...
i'm usually down to earth, yet not realistic enough hahaha. FINE anyway. hahaha.
it's nice to change the theme here. more green and red. i avoid pink this time. haha.
it's more me-like, expect not much pink here. haha. red is cool though, and i love the green.
passionate, passionate.

>>December 27, 2007 at 4:23:59 AM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 22 日 星期六 【晴】

=(


i slept for 11 hrs last night, very nice..
then i took a nap for... 5 hrs..
very nice... it's been long havent slept for that much.

anyway...
this year, the gathering is finally canceled.
reason 1: Queenie's not here.
reason 2: Shan finally couldnt make it.
feelings: Very Bad.

it makes me think about Augustus as well.
i talked with Ade just now. we talked about priority.
i think i put friends very high, and hten family and my honey are the top as well.
well, actually.. i'm the person type which would try making things as perfect as i can,
so i do ensure i could balance things pretty well, at least i intend to and i try hard.
Ade asked me... when i was in Van in spring, i met them coz Stephen we busy, and when we were
in KBox, i left earlier so as to be with Stephen.
the thing is... Stephen works almost every day, and he's sometimes pretty busy, sometimes not.
when he's busy, sometimes i go out by myself. when i met Ade, Cyn and Cap or other friends,
he wasnt that busy somehow. then.. i wanna go home earlier, coz... i was not sharing home with
friends, but my boyfriend, who would be worried for me if i stay out too late. if i share home with
friends, i could hand out like... till whenever i want or we want. coz we go home together.
but with Stephen, i dont want him worried, and i do wanna be fair to him, want him to feel secure with
me about that. even i go out with friends, i would still be home for him soon, and with food for him.
actually, last year in summer, i was in Van as well with Cyn and Ade. when i went out with other
friends or to my teacher's home for dinner. i wanted to go home ealier and i bought them snack on
the way home. that coz... i dont want them worried for me, and i want them to be happy.
i think i'm pretty fair on the piority.

but then yea.... seems like... my friends are not doing the same.
somehow i'm quite dissappointed. but i dont wanna cry on my christmas eve.

i told Ade that.. if i go traveling with my family, i would make sure i would have made the time for
my friends there at that place, and i would have discussed with my friends, like in advance.
i value my friends and my family. and of course i would make sure my family is fine as well.

i dont know.. i'm just quite diassapointed about my friends...
i told Ade that... for me... christmas is even more important than chinese new year.
i know it's kindda disrespectful to my nationality, but it's true that i do expect christmas in every years.
chinese new year is just... boring. i 'm so bad to say that, but true. on the tv, that's only boring shows.
the shows are big but boring. then.. most of the shops are closed, then everyone busy visiting
other families. no shoppping, no hanging out. the streets are quiet.. ahhh.. so dead.

anyway.. Merry Christmas Castor.
i hope you do enjoy the Christmas Eve tomorrow and the Christmas Day.
then... Boxing Day.

yea, i got a gift from my stduent Alex =) i was very happy actually.
then i just got gifts from my sisters and parents =) hee.
i had a gift from May as well. just that Christopher was a bit rude at the office before i left.
humm he's a bit weird. anyway. it was happy in office.

Merry Christmas to All.
i hope Stephen is doing fine on his Christmas too =)
i miss him.. i really hope to... see him.. or... at least... talk with him.

>>December 23, 2007 at 5:07:53 PM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 20 日 星期四 【晴】

hello.

i'm at the office.
i am going to do my christmas things actually.
recently the office is quite quiet. many students cansel their classes.
i guess just too much gathering at school or at home. it's normal in every year.

i have class with Alex yesterday. he's sick. yea me too. and i know he passed that to me. haha.
humm he's okay.. just a bit naughty, i know why. he had a long day at school.
this kid is a good kid.. humm i chatted with him. then he told me what happened at school.
haha.. somehow it was fun.. coz.. i asked him if he told his mom, or sister or dad..
he said no. i asked him why. he told me coz it's a secert. i asked him if he felt embarassed.
he said yes. then i asked him why he told me. he said he told only me. i said okay then, i wont tell
others. he smiled. there's a christmas song on tv adv. i sang, and i asked him if he knew how to sing.
he sang. hahahaha.. so funny. ohhhhhhh he's so cute!~~~~~ ^^
then... we did lots of work, and we played games as well. he's okay. but i'm just a bit worried for his
exam. coz .. the practice at school wasnt enough for the exam. then when the exam comes, Alex
doesnt really have the strong sense of what he has to do. i'm thinking to help him to do some summerize,
or... i try to make him mock exam. but it's hard for me, coz i dont even have enough time for my own exams.

hummmm i finally didnt meet Augustus. i stand for my words. even if he calls tonight or anytime,
i dont think i would go meeting him or his family. it's kind of silly. dude, i'm not on call.
i m busy and tired. if you cant follow your schedule, why you expect me to fit in yours?
yes you have the kids wanna watch this or that. it's fine for me too, coz i need my personal time
to rest and my world doesnt run ard you. i'm happy that you come, but it's not that big to me.

hummm i chatted with honey. i hope he would get my post soon.
christmas is coming next week...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


still at the office..

well.... i got the sms from Augustus.
hummm he was asking me to give him my schedule to see when we could meet.
i think that's totally rediculous. how should i suppoe myself to be so free waiting for his arrangement?
isnt that my time here in hk, isnt that my own schedule arrangement?
i think it's so rediculous. he told me yes, it's hard to arrange the scedule with 3 kids.
he asked me to let him know my schedule, so he can see when we could meet. even if we meet,
only me, him and maybe his girl. honestly, for me, it's not really necessary to meet. so... i m kind of angry.
i m so busy as well. who you think you are. yea, we are friends, but i have already let him know
my time and i told him to let me know earlier. he kept changing, and i m not going to match him up.
tourist 's time is important, that's not my rule. if he's really my friend and wanna catch up with me in
HK, he should probably just respect me as a friend that i have my own life going in my own home town, HK.
i just replied him that... what time does he wanna meet exactly on trm, so that I COULD arrange MY
OWN schedule to see if we can meet. i'm very busy and not feeling well. if he cant be sure, then we
might not meet. i still havent got his reply yet. well... i hate ppl giving me the last notice at the last min,
especially when i'm stressed busy doing diff things.


then we lost the very important book in office just now. i was thinking who would be posible to take it.
it was Christopher. and he did it with his friend, so that he could go home prepare for the lesson.
but the thing is... we need that book and he didnt tell me he took it.
i called, then.. he said.. " hi, the loby lady?" then i told him, i am Castor.
he explaint blah lah blah.. then so i just need to know one thing. when would you give me back the
book. i need it tmr morning for the classes. and today i just didnt give them notes.
he knew how serious it was finally. anyway... in the end.. he said.. okay, see you tomorrow..
bye BABE. AHHHHHH! i'm not his babe !
why this guy is liek that, huh?

opps.. i just go Augustus's sms..
he said.. sorry to hear that i'm not feeling well, and why dont we meet another time more suitable.
"dude, i'm not going to see you. you're too fuzzy." that's what my first reaction!
omg... 3 years only, he changed so much! dont act like concerning on me, it's so sick.

>>December 21, 2007 at 11:40:36 AM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 19 日 星期三 【晴】

hey girl.

i'm in the office now.
humm... i just read lots of past sms, and some in current.
hummm... i was shocked. i've been through lots of things.
then i read my diary .. like... since 1 year ago.. and a few ard the time in Van this spring,
and a few of the present. and then... i see the changes in myself, and... when i thik of the past,
i find myself growing, the personal growth.

and... something is changed, something wasnt. i dont know how to explain, and i probably wouldnt.
i will keep all these with myself.

just now i was chatting with Queenie. i'm happy that she's enjoying herself in the States.
Augustus might meet me tonight. it's been long havent seen him. welcome to hong kong.
then.... yea... i am just too late to write christmas cards anyway. late to send..
and then........ still have lots to do personally and at work and school..
i'm planing things.

you know... i think it's time to move on. i mean.. to take another step to a new stage of life.
i find myself quite obsessive to the ppl and things i concern.
and now, i m going to say bye to those, not coz i wanna run away from them, just that..
i wanna fulfill the higher satisfaction and happiness in my life.
i'm ready to let go of my whatever happened in my past, those sadness i mean.
for the parts i cherrished, all the good time, i would keep them into my heart, and i wont be sad about
keeping them to the past. i accept they have done and gone, and would only living in my heart.
i'm proud and happy that i've experienced them =) it's just me.

for now what's going on, i would keep my heart opening for them.
i love my life.

with the changes i'm going through, i make a wish that in the coming years, i would be more happy
and satisfied experiecing my every days and nights, and i would love and cherrish myself more.
for those i hesitate, i would speak up. for those i like and appreciate, i would give thanks.
for those i feel sad about, i would talk and say it hurts. for those i feel loved and warm, i would love back.
i would negotiate, i would keep my dignity, i would be brave. i dont hurt ppl to protect myself.
i just need to stand up for myself. i know i am lovable, and i deserve the respect and love.
i wanna be loved and respected, and this is firstly by myself.
this is more fair to me, because i said so.

>>December 20, 2007 at 5:07:39 AM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 18 日 星期二 【晴】

just another busy day.

i was working on the new flyers, it's finally done.
i took them to the copy station, i will have them tomorrow.
finally, our new flyer would be released tmr.

i had class with Jonathan and Alex today.
they were fine. it was Alex's birthday. i gave him gift.
then.. yea... Alex listened to me now, even though he's naughty, he's now listening somehow when
i am serious talking with him about his naughty things. he's okay.

then....... the new teacher Christopher was okay. still giving me troubles sometimes.

Augustus arrived HK today afternoon. he texted me, and.. yea.. a couple of sms,
then i didnt reply, till back home resting, then i called.
i m not quite sure if we would meet up actually. but.. see how things go..
i saw him last time in Singapore... like.... 2 years or almost 3 years ago. wow. 3 years.

final exams are coming, and i'm calculating the days and stuffs.
how many chapers, how many pages of hand writing notes, lecture notes, or text books.
crazy. and you know what... i cant fail. what i mean fail is... i have to be above average.
and the average i set is a bit high. ok. i actually want to get over 88% scores on each exam.
so that... i still have the chance to bump myself to the A grade of all. and i think it's pretty challenging.
GOOD LUCK~~~~ nope. work hard first before wishing good luck.

anyway.........
i couldnt wake up this morning, i hope i could sleep more. i slept like 9 hrs, still not enough.
i wish i could just really relax for a few days, no work, no school work, not much internet stuffs,
only sleeping, eating, walking, exercises, movies, books, music, sun, and moon.
i prefer alone in stead of being with a bunch of ppl. i think i need a vacation, and perhaps, by myself,
or... with only one person maxium.


hummm good night Cas.

hummmmm would Stephen get the gift soon?
Christmas is coming next week.

>>December 19, 2007 at 5:23:30 PM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 17 日 星期一 【晴】

hi.

i woke up ard 1 40pm... i slept like dead.
i think i have almost 11 hrs sleep, still not enough. sleep debt.

then.... i was resting and watching movie at home...
i was alone, finally got time to stay alone.
then... i went to Prince Edward to do my teaching.

i saw Jamie there. omg. Jamie is there teaching too or ?
it's so crazy. i dont know what the heck is going on there, and i was about to tell that guy i would quit.
but i guess i couldnt just quit now. i have to prepare a bit before i quit.
it's giving me a big headache! omg, i really hate him now. bastard.

then... actually, i was quite happy on Mon, last night.
i have 3 classes as usual... but then we took lots of pics, with my classmates.
it was fun, coz.. we all enjoyed lots.
then... yea, got pasta from Karen Choo. hahaha i said she's my mom making me pasta.
then yea, got lots of pics with Prof Casey and Dr. Chan as well =)
it was fine.. and Prof Casey was not that cold actually. while we were taking pics, he suggested
lots of posing, but we ignored him hahahaha... then.. yea, we treated him lunch, we had dim sum.
he was happy, and we were all happy. there were some jokes with Veto. coz he was so mean! haha.
then.. i got my paper back, the topic was that Vaccine. thanks Stephen hee.
and yea i was pretty suprised. i got... 58/60 points. it was an A.
his comment was.. "Castor! Very Good Paper!" he's a very strict teacher, so i was really suprised !
=) i was happy. but then yea...
still need to see the PSY 355 Skills and Stratergies in the Helping Professions paper and mid term result.
and today we dont have Adjustment class. coz it's done already. hummmm that means i have to start
my preparation for the final exam.

hummm.. i chatted with Stephen today. i'm happy to chat with him. hee.

>>December 18, 2007 at 4:42:25 PM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 15 日 星期六 【晴】

hello.

today i rest.. humm i woke up ard 1 pm. it wasnt enough.
i could sleep longer than that. i wish to, but i couldnt.
coz we ate lunch with grandpa today. dim sum time.. so... yea... i was forced to wake up.
after lunch, i walked to the shopping center, i went to the supermarkey bought some cookies.
then back home drinking grape fruit juice, yummy. then had cookies.. and watching "The Blades of Glory."
it was a really nice movie. hahaha... funny and... kindda touching when i saw that guy crying calling
his brother. so funny.

then.. rested, and we ate out tonight. coz.. aunt and uncel came over.
then yea... aunt was chatting with me. it was okay. i understand her problems.
so yea... i didnt give her advice, i just listened to her, and tell her what i find and feel, based on what
she has told me. after that, she found that i really got what she meant, and she has never thought of
that.

anyway, i need to sleep earlier tonight. coz i will have morning class tomorrow, and then... yea...
i would have a straight day from 10 am to 10 30 pm.


i'm thinking of him.

>>December 16, 2007 at 3:20:59 PM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 14 日 星期五 【晴】

hi.

today was very busy, but... i just.. you know... i 'm exhausted.
i wanna go ice skating or just go hanging out tomorrow, but i think i would just stay home sleeping
or resting. it's been a crazy life. i wanna rest and sleep for however long i want. i'm so bloody tired.

anyway..
yea.. work work and work.
i did some shopping for the office as well. i was changing the bottled water at the water machine.
then i made a small flood. Ella and May and a parent were trying to help. omg. it was a small disaster.
ahhhhh~~~~ i was so sorry...

you know...
today.. i heard Christopher called me honey. it was not quite appoporaite. coz... i just know him for
2 weeks only... well maybe he was just trying to be sweet or friendly. he usually called me..
"lady" or "the lady at the front". i guess he trys to be friendly, but... it sounds weird hwen he says
honey. i was doing the photo copy, quite busy.. then the kids were noisy. i heard ppl saying honey
a few times, then i recgonized him. then i turned back, i was a bit embarassed. i was confused.
then he looked a bit embarassed. he covered half of his face then he talked to me.. and he smiled
afterward. i was like.. humm okay.. it's okay. i smiled but embarassed.
anyway.. yea... he's kind of weird sometimes.

i cahtted with Stephen for awhile. we talk about Christopher as well. thanks honey.

hummm yea... tonight was the "once a year show, before Christmas". it should be the last year
we would be here since 12 years back. so yea... im kind of... used to it already.
i used to be one of the performace character, i got a few awards too.. it was so amazing and..
i was proud of myself. i was in the choir, and it was not bad. the choir is getting smaller though,
and then not as fun as so long ago, while i was still a kid, being a part of them. now.. i'm the audian.
and i sit and relax. it's just not as fun anyway. i used to be able to run ard the stage, back and front.
doing lots of reharsal stuffs and eatting and playing with other kids at the back while waiting.
this and that, many cool memory haha.. so yea.. anyway, this should be the last year, coz
Leggy is ready to quit. Miki quited a few years ago, i quited long time ago. hummm...
i miss the head teacher there, he's the best Musician i have seen. he's so old now, like a grandpa.
but he's the 1st great musician i've met in my life, when i was 9, and he's still the best.
there are many good music teachers in my life, but he's the best, still the best.

anyway anyway anyway...
hope that Stephen would recieve my christmas gift soon. and... hope that i would recieve his too.
heehee. i'm not expecting what kind of gift he might give me, but i want to recieve something, or..
anything from him that i can find him closer with me. sometimes... the gift is not just a gift, it's The Gift.
something meaningful behind a thing or a sentence.

>>December 15, 2007 at 6:19:28 PM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 13 日 星期四 【晴】

hi.

today... was okay.

i am not feeling well, guess i'm exhausted. i worked on some stuffs..
then... before lunch time, Mendy came over. we started chatting. it was fine.
then, i had lunch with my parents. after that, mom came to office with me.
she asked about Stephen and i, then i told her our roughly plan, not in details.
she seems fine and happy. then.. Ella s back again, and she wanted me to go with Richard that
send her dog to the pet shop, long story..
so Richard and i took taxi from Tai Po to Mong Kok, sending the pet back to the store..
but when we got there.. the owner doesnt want her back. it's like... ahhh dont know how to
describe. i was there for translating only.. and personally, i do trust the owner that Ella or Richard
didnt really know how to take care of the dog, and that's why she's so sick and skinny now.
so it's their responsiblity to take care of the dog, and find ways to keep her healthy again.
it's just a long story, and i think i'm not pushy enough to ask the owner take care of that dog.
so poor doggie.

back to office by taxi, then i worked and rested. i'm really exhausted.
back home watching tv and had dinner, and then movie.. "You've Got Mail." touchy.

well... i'm thinking to go on diet. i find myself gaining weight. i think.. it's the best to keep my weight
ard 102-105 lbs. i dont know how much i weight now, but yea... i see Ella losing weight in months,
i really wanna lose some too, hahaha.. wanna look better... maybe ard 100lbs is perfect.

anyway..yea...
i find that the Aloe Syrum from The Body Shop is really nice. i used it for 2 days and 2 nights only,
and my face skin is so smooth now. it definitle better than the Vitamin E or Vitamin C cream and mask.
i'm using the Golden Apple Body Butter from there too. it'sreally nice. it's from last christmas actually.
i still got that lotion here, got the shimmer one. but after applying the lotion, my hands are all shinny.
i dont like that. so silver like on my palms. it's like... erhhhhhh... what's wrong with my hands ?
so i need to wash my hands after using it. but actually the shimmer looks really nice on legs ;)

i got new make up from the drug store yesterday night. it's on sale, it's only $78 for 2 colours in a patle.
it's green and champaine colour, and it looks so gorgerous. it's from Paris, and the packing is so like
the American brand, Benefit. this Paris brand is called.... Broj... something cant remember.
i like it so much~ haha.
the other day in Habour City, the FACES, i wanna get that patle from some Japanese brand, efc...? cant rmeember the name, the brand is in red colour though. but that one cost $260, 3 colors.
forget it... well, it's Japanese, Asian style, should be great, i got make up from Korean brand,
i seldom use them anymore. i dont know why, i just dont really use them.. so i wonder if i would use
the Japanese one. i wanna get M.A.C. but they dont have the one i was looking for.
then Body Shop doesnt have too. i need some dark green color. then yea.. i usually, always use
Body Shop and M.A.C., then... i sometimes or seldom use The Skin Food, from Korea.
just the texture is different, and then the color is slightly diff too. anyway, i spend long time to choose
what i want and need from the cosmatic place. hummmmm quite picky. like.. lip gloss, now, i only
use Body Shop. the lip stick or lip gloss i got from M.A.C. irretates my lips, unbelievable, yea?! haha..
i got a few from M.A.C. but i seldom use them now. actually i dont ususally wear gloss.

tmr, Leggy would have a performance at the Civial Hall. it's for christmas. the Tai Po Choir.
the one we three girls are in before. Miki and i quit when we were F 1 or F 2. Leggy 's still in.
she said she would quit last year, but she didnt. i dont know if she would quit this year after this
annual performance. but just that... we, our whole family got there watching this show every year,
since i was 9 y.o. like... for... 12 years, yea? so long already. it becomes our family activity once a year.

anywa... i wanna take a leave tmr, coz... i'm not feeling well.
but Sat is the most difficult time, the busiest day.
so.... yea..... dont know if i should take that leave.

good night Cas.

>>December 14, 2007 at 6:22:29 PM GMT+8

2007 年 12 月 12 日 星期三 【晴】

i was shocked and "AHHHHHHH!!!!" when i heard Ella on the phone that SHE IS PREGNANT!!!
=D i was so happy for her!
we actually got those testers together at the drug store. hahaha... it reminds me last time i was doing
the same in Van. but i was on my own last time, freaking me out that in Sve On Food was the Chinese
man. i was so embarassed.
so yea... today was a bit funny, coz.. yea.. she had two tests anyway. i didnt know she left earlier.
i was in class with Winnie, then she canceled her class and went home.

then, yea... it was a very very tiring day.. felt a bit dizzy though.. May asked me why not seeing a
doctor. i dont think i need it, i actually need some time to rest and defintely a longer sleep.
i am still very stressed.. really. coz... i'm still worrying about the three courses i'm taking now, and then,
omg.. finals are coming really soon. and my schedule is so full and patched. i feel like kindda like..
panic ! but i shouldnt panic, coz it would only make me more stress.

Alex wasnt fine today. he was really quiet today.. and i didnt know what happened.
then... we did some work, and he has been so lack of energy, just very different.
then....... yea.. i wanted to get him some snack in the rest time, but he refused ot eat anything, anything.
usually he is so excited to snack, but today he just didnt want any. he told me he's very tired.
okay.. so i tried to chat with him or play. but then.. he's so lack of energy.. so... i just let him rest.
and.. he vomited. it was okay.. then i called his mom to pick him up. he cried. he's still like a baby kid.
i gave him a bday gift today. next week would be his bday. so.. yea.. he was happy to have gift but
not as i expected, he was far much quiet. haha.. now i know why, coz he's sick.

you know. i got that test before.. and i still remember how nervous i was. and Stephen was kindda
laughing. i dont know how he felt at that moment. for me, i was nervous, anyway, either one outcome
i would be happy. just one of them is more undesirable, coz i would have lots to take care of without
a plan. but yea.. when i came back to HK, i wished i was pregnant, really i wished for that.
it was my first time doing the test, and i was happy that he was there with me, it became some lovely
and funny memorries with me. well, i dont know if he remembers that, but i defintely do. coz it was
the little moment of... "YES or NO??!!" haha.. and "POSSITIVE OR NEGATIVE?!!" hahaha...
and then... i remember that i bought that in Save On Food, and... i carried that to meet my aunts.
so.. i was risking it, as in they might see it in my bag. but yea.. it was okay.. just my first time,
and fun. the fun is... i wouldnt have the same feelings or same situation again, i guess.
and it was when i was still 20, and.. now i'm 21. hahaha... not that long ago actually but time flys.
so yea... it was fun.

then...... yea...........................
being a mom is not easy, and becoming a mom could be like so stressful. i wonder if i could handel it
when i'm still a studnet or before married. i would be so worried and i probably cant cope with that.
cant imagine that if i'm giving birth in Feb 2008, if i was pregnant. and if i was, my belly now is as big
as a basketball. and wherever i go, the baby is with me, whatever i do, baby knows it hahahaha...
it must be interesting and lovely.. but i'm not a mommy yet. hee.

anyway... i saw a book "P.S. I Love You" in the book store today.. i wanted to read it.. but...
i wonder how much time i still have for myself. hummmm really not much.
i actually wanna take a sick leave tmr since i really dont feel well.
then yea.. i'm happy that i've done all the Christmas Shopping. hummm it really spent me long time
and lots of money. i dont think they were the waste. it's just once a year to send a gift or a card
to the ppl you concern about. somehow it's fun for friends, coz we can get some nice gathering.
the most important thing is... it's the birthday of Jesus.
i love christmas, i just love it since i was young. i like the trees, the lighting, the songs, the gifts,
the cold wind and stuffs.. the food and the chocolate. it makes the winter so warm and nice.
it's the most beautiful time in a year. thanks Jesus =)

and you know what...
actually i think of my pregnancy test, and i guess it wasnt quite clear actually.
so... haha i actually have that chance to boom a baby in Feb !!!! hahaha...
nope, i'm kidding only.. i guess it wouldnt happen.
my guy didnt make me pregnant! coz he knows me, and he loves me =)

>>December 13, 2007 at 5:12:32 PM GMT+8