2007 年 9 月 3 日 星期一 【晴】

hi..

today, i just woke at 1.. i slept at 4 last night.
well... after washing up.. then ate something... and left home..
i seat at McDonald's with mom for awhile.. ate something before class.
then took train to Prince Edward. i got talked with Edgar over some course details for coming plans.
then... went to TST, Pacific Coffee.. i seat at there... having coffee and doing my assignment.
i got a small assignment due to today. a story telling, actually it is TAT. some kind of test..
by telling story of a picture to see what Values, Needs, Fears, one person reflected.

anyway.. i have written down my counselling parts on my note book today.
yea... then.... i went back to school, i have night class tonight.

now it's like... every Monday with my counsellor, and every Tuesday with Dr.Chan for class.

hummmm
in class, we have talk about lots today. got through lots of theoritcal approaches about Personalty.
then, hummm got a personalty test today... quite fun..
and learn so much today as well, quite nice.. and i know i will have my EARLY MID TERM on this Sun.
sucks...
the most influencial part for me is about the DAASA.
The Sad Tasks Process.
Denial, Angry, Argue, Sad, Accept.
we sometimes cant get through the sadness, coz we are stuck into the Denail part.
it becomes inflexible, and we are maladaptive by these.
what sad means... the sad tasks. we need to experience what sad means to us.
like.. what we do and how we express our sadness. that make sense about what sad is to us.
cry is the expression, or else becomes avoidence or agressions.
we are influenced by unconcious. sometimes, while we experienced something very undesirable,
we would like to ignore it, or suspress it. that means.. make conscious unconscious.
eg.. we try to not think about the sadness, or we do things to forget about the sadness.
sometimes.. it is useful, it's good to put it down, coz we can move on, right? yes.
but sometimes it could be harmful, coz... escape or make it unconsciou is not the best way.
and we thought that it's gone, but actually we are affected unconsciously.
and those could cause us lots of more serious traumas in life. so next time we face similar situations,
we struggle more.
once we are aware of what we are lack of or what negative feelings are with us, then we have
faced them, start going through the Sad Tasks. what doesnt kill us makes us stronger.
we have better abilities and be more flexible to cope with the next situation or at least to break down
the unfinished business. we could overcome.
what we want to do is... to minimixe the harm, and increase the possitive-ness of the experience bring us in life.

that's what i have got today.
nice and brief.

hummm i actually need to do lots of school work for preparing my Mid Term and Assignment Paper..
and then... yea take care of my personality test.. and..
yea.. work for my plans beside school..
hummmm quite busy..

and next week, i would meet my counsellor again. hummm i'm writing down the process as well.
it helps me to think in my situation actually.
and yea.. the counselling really helps me. i feel lighter now.
and.. i hope.. that... i would be happy and fine.
and yea...

i have talked with Ata today.
coz i wanted to know if he really killed himself. that scared me alot alot..
i blocked him for long i guess.
but then now i know he didnt. and we tlaked for a long time today.
i guess now, finally, he understands what i mean, and he would move on.
he mentioned some life issues with me just now. and i hope my little advice could help him.
i will be happier if i didnt kill him but help him to make his life alive. that means i could save a life.
anyway.. i know i cant be real friends with him. me and him could only be net friends.

i think of Stephen though..
i miss him. but not as... negative as before.
i guess... the counselling... just gave me some ways.. to... realize things..
i mean.. i dont know.. we will see..
i miss him, i think of him, but not as negative as before.
that's really amazing.

i wanna know.. what my true value is.. what i need and have been fear for.
i have been so confused of everything.. keep saying i dont know and confusing myself even more.
and now... with counselling.. step by step.. i seem see more clear about myself.
that's amazing..
and i really wanna find out those answers i have been firguring out for long...
while i face those conflicts so much conflicts... where i actually stand..

>>September 4, 2007 at 7:16:58 PM GMT+8

2007 年 9 月 2 日 星期日 【晴】

hey.

i slept at 7 am finally and woke at 9 30. 2 1/2 hrs sleep.

i was working on my stuffs, pretty hard working till 6 something, then called Stephen.
we talk for a short while. humm i got something to ask him.. and.. yea...
well, today is supposed to be our anniversary. i guess he probably just forgot about it.

i had breakfast, dim sum, with Shan, Queenie and KB this morning.
hahahaha so funny combination. anyway.. yea nevermind.
then,... we had a long brekafast there, quite fun sometimes.
then, we took bus to Central. yup, Queenie and Shan were with me.
they sent me to my counselling, then they hang out at Starbucks.

i had my counselling session today. it was good. i'm looking forward for the next time,
i really wish to find out my answer soon.
we got through a lot today.. and... it helps me alot. i feel lighter after the counselling.

then i walked to Starbucks, had coffee and went to TST with Shan and Queenie.
we went to FACESS Harbour City, Body Shop, here and there...
we bougt something, then got the gifts from my memebership.
then yea.. quit happy today. then... we seat at Delefrance, we had tea time there.
nice egg salad. i like the peach tart. so yummy. it's been so long havent eaten peach tart.
then.. after that, we rested, then i took bus back to Tai Po.
i did some shopping at the Bookstore and Stationary Shop. coz i need to prepare my stuffs.
then... very tired getting home. then kept working on it.
actually... i need to do my assignment tomorrow, coz i have night class. sigh.
then, i need to..... ... . ..... ...... oh yea.. i got something missed..

i wanna share more about my counselling, but somehow.. i dont know.. i need some time though,
and i am gonna write on my anotehr note book, not public here.
hummmm i have lots to say..

hummmmmmmmm yea.. i have bought the boxes, and i need to take care and tidy up my notes and
books now... sigh.. very tired..

but overall i have good time today =)
Thanks.
Thanks for my girls, thanks for my counsellor, thanks God.

>>September 3, 2007 at 5:25:46 PM GMT+8

2007 年 9 月 1 日 星期六 【晴】

today was okay, but now i am not okay.

i got a long sleep last nigh, i slept at 4, then woke at 2. it was great to have long sleep.
then i got ready to have lunch with my family.
then we went to Koldat, we made orders for the photo prints. we took many pics in Disneyland,
and we wanna print them out.

then.. after that.. Miki and i went to Sha Tin. we went to Zara before Ikea..
we bought a small bag and one pair of shose. that shose were the one we wanted. ha..
i needed to go to Ikea to buy some store boxes, so we were there.
then i also bought some colour paper from there.
we had snack there.. then back home.

sometimes.. i wonder.. if i am a very bad girl.. alwasy giving troubles to my friends or my boyfrineds.
coz... i guess in the end, my every boyfriends just dont want to keep the relationship with me.
maybe being with me is very difficult. coz... i'm just... not... the type guys would truely like to be with
in long term. say... with Jun Ming, we were pen pal before relationship, and we broke up in 3 months.
coz.. he cant stand long distance relationship. it was the puppy love.
with Chris, we had long friendship before love relationship, on line relationship.
we were pretty good, never really fight. he was a very good guy, quite gentelment, always try to
protect me and share fun with me. he's like my dad as well. then in 1 month, we broke up.
he just suddenly broke up with me. then... after a very long time, i moved on, and i met Benny.
we used to be net friend, i didnt care about him, someday i knew he was sad. we were chatting.
and i was about to go off line, i asked him would he want some tea or coffee. he said both and me.
that's how we started, and.. there were many things happened in singapore with him.
we were always lost in contact, i always need to worry for him, then i went to Canada.
i was there, guys approached me, and gave him headache, i wanted to break up with him.
but he didnt want to, then he changed alot for me, but only last for 2 weeks.
everything back to the bad normal days, then..... sometime he just totally dissappeared for a whole
month, or months. then... back to HK, i was still sad in love with him, maybe one side love only,
while he claimed he didnt lie to me or cheated on me.
then... Henry talk to me, and.. i didnt know he has a girlfrined. he fell for me, he was very sweet,
and i was touched by him. then i found he has a girlfriend, and i didnt wanna continoue with him
especially i was still with Benny. i always asked him to think twice and i am not gonna be with him
anyway. i didnt mean to get invovled eventhouhg i was invovled by him.
then.. i believed that.. he is not that bad. but one day he just sms me that he would choose his
girlfriend, and he could have only one girlfriend. i was very very angry at him.
because... i really felt that it was the biggest insult in my life. i d never meant to be with him, and now
make things like i wanted him to be with me and asked him breaking up with that girl.
i was very mad and i deleted all his things. he actuially lied to me anyway. then.. after that...
i went to Canada again in Summer. then... having good time in Van, then back to HK.
Benny talk to me, i thought we still had chances, coz... i believed in him.
but then i had been waiting.. and waiting... till one day i suddenly saw him on msn about...
being iwth another girl. there was a pic of them. i was VERY SHOCKED and BROKEN DOWN.

after awhile.. i changed my job, and knew Stephen... then we were crazy in love all of the sudden.
i found him as the gift from God. i was totally in love with him without any reasons. i knew him for
only a few days. then we were in love imediately. it was.. amazing... incredible.
it was very unstable.. very unstable.. it was... Sep 3, when we found each others.
that means... TOMORROW. one year ago today, i knew this guy.

it was very crazy.. 3 break ups in 3 months. and we engaged in our 3 months relationship.
things started being more stable, and we finally met up in March and April.
we actually got through a lot of things in those 6 months. for every changes in our life,
we faced them together. sometimes i got him mad at me, but he would forgive me very fast.
i likedh im so much. then... there re lots of things i need to accept and learn from him.
and i have been always trying my best..

and ... we got our 4th and 5 th broke up... and... 2 weeks ago, we got a big ... conversation over
something happened. and in these two passing weeks, i had been thinking about him,
thinking about the future and my plans, he's in my plan. i was very confused about... if i still want
this guy. and.. after 2 weeks, i knew i want him still, and i'm very sincere about everything about him,
about our future. i am learning to be a better girl, for myself and for him. i'm improving myself.

but then just now... i just found that... he has been not showing up for 2 weeks.
and... in these days.. i thought he has been too busy or too tired.

tomorrow i would have an appointment with the counsellor at 1 30.
before that, i would meet Shan and Queenie have breakfast together.
thanks Shan for being with me.. thanks these two girls..
i remember last time i met my counselor was 2 weeks ago, on last 2 Mon.
it was so terrible after meeting her. i found my accounts hacked in and stuffs.
and after 2 weeks, tomorrow.. my "anniversary"... what would happen next?

>>September 2, 2007 at 8:02:30 PM GMT+8

2007 年 8 月 31 日 星期五 【晴】

hummm
i m laying on Miki's bed now..
i'm so tired.. i m so lonely.


just now watched "Pretty Woman".
it was so great.
i wonder... why that lady finally could go on with that man who paid her.
she said she cant go on. and i found that.. coz she's in love with him eventually.
so, she cannot love him, and she cant let herself being a hooker living in the cave anymore.
so she prefers leaving, and doesnt wanna repeat her childhood like.
but then... that guy couldnt accept what she thinks and dslike. he let her go.
however.. dramatically, the guy finally went to her house, with the crazy flower and umbrella.
pretending the prince for this "cinderella" which was her dream in the childhood.
i almost cry.

anyway..
today was so busy for me. just too busy like the war at the office.
it was so crazy.
i was actually angry at Ella. coz she was so stupid sometimes and those were wasting my time
and efforts.
i made some calls to parents to do some arrangement, coz Brett cant come on Sat anymore.
then those parents convern on the teacher and class performance pretty much, i need to explain and
follow up each students in that class. it was quite tough, coz Ella kept changing teachers for that
class before, and now i gotta explain and provide special services for them, and make sure everything
would be fine enough, so that we wont lost 6 stduents at the same time and save our reputation.
and lucky that i could re-form the class for them and put BRett teaching on weekdays.
otherwise.. omg. i m gonna go mad by those parents.

anyway... so crazy... the enquries were never stopped. i got ard 4-5 calls in every hr, in average.
then ppl come in asking for information and stuffs. i consder myself pretty professional being
a consultant assessing studnets and arranging new classes now. but then...
Ella wants to make money, right? i understand. so... i could only match up with her.
i want her to earn money, to make profits. all i can do is to remind her on the BUSINESS ETHICAL
ISSUES. well i dont make any decisions, unless i have the control on the situation.
sigh. sometime i m just very mad. coz Ella always makes my work heavier by some stupid
thinking and then she kept changing her ideas FOR nothing. i m so mad sometimes but i just
dont show it coz i am sitting at front and i wanna be professional working on my job.
i face the parents most of the time, i take care of the administration work most of the time.
i know what parents want even though i dont know much about how the kids learn, but i do can see
how well they do in class. dont think ppl're blind please? it's so stupid.
i always need to help her to explain something i dont even believe in.
no matter how stupid i find, how angry i feel, how tired i am, i still need to be professional
facing the ppl coming in, providing edaquate assessment for each situation with that student, right?
but then in the end, Ella could make up some stories about the child then put them in other class.
for what excues me? i think it's for... the business reason... to make money, am i correct?
fine, screw it. i will quit someday.
i like you Ella, i like you Richard, but i juct cant be at your side always for your business decision.


okay...
i got hte night mare last night. it was so horrible. i got lots of colorful worms in my limps.
it was SO GROSS. it's bloody horrible seeing them coming out from my bleeding arm.
it's so so gross. and i woke up by that. omg.. why i have nightmare like this?
anyway.. i will meet my counsellor on Mon 1:30- 2:30 again.
i'm kindda afriad. well.. i should relax.

anyway..
i wanna go ice skating.. i wanna go, but no one go with me..
i was just wondering... i hope could go ice skating iwht Stephen.. but when i was there..
he didnt seem interested going with me. and now i'm back, and.. since Cap is gone, no one go with me.
sigh...
i need to go to Ikea as well. i need some boxes to store my notes and school work.
omg. i need to work on some doc for my teaching plan, and then i need to buy some files and PCC
for them, then.. yea.. a lot fo work to do actually.
wishing for a logn sleep tonight, then after late lunch tmr, i might go to... do some shopping on those,
or i go ice skating by myself first. see how things go. i m so tired.
i really wanna skate, but then i need time to go to Ikea nad book store as well.
sigh.


i cry just now.

i miss Cinderella...

i jut thought of this song...
i'm a big big girl in a big big world. it's not a abig big thing if you leave me.
but i do do feel that i do do will miss you much..
miss you much..

>>September 1, 2007 at 6:42:16 PM GMT+8

2007 年 8 月 30 日 星期四 【晴】

omg today is really tiring.
the morning was okay.. then... afternoon was really really busy..
i have done lots lots of work, then.. yea...
i was having lunch by myself.
humm yea... all by myself.

i found something weird..
my hotmail.. skin color is changed...
it was red coz i didnt know there was pink. i would defintely chose pink if there is.
then today i suddenly found that's changed into pink.......
i was thinking if i had changed but then i forgot? it could be possibe but.. then i...
questioned myself... how didi change when i didnt even know there was pink.
and.. after awhile i checked again.. then.. i was thinking.. why my hotmail was half verson
not the full version ? i mean.. the latest one is the full version of windows live hotmail.
then.. i changed back to the full version one. but... it's... strange....
and recently.. some ppl added me on msn. then i started being alert with them..
like keep asking them how did they find my contact.

then back to offic hard working...
hummm i arranged lots of classes today. so tired.
then... after work, i met Ray and Eve, but Eve didnt come... =S hummmm....
so, only Ray and i have dinner tonight. so funny him, still as same as before.
he's so talkative. he talks a lot alot.. then... he's still very LSC like ;)
he's still a very nice person. haha i forgot he s 2 years younger. i thought he was 1 grade under.
when i was working in Student Union i was F.4, i thought he was F.3, but he was F.2 only.
=) anyway, wish him work hard in UK !

well...
i've read some articles on line this morning. it was great.
humm... i wanna have a more possitive life. at least i wont be down in the sad feelings all the time.
say... ppl are unattractive when he/she are always wearing sad face or with the complains on mouth.
for me, i dont want these feelings. i wanna be happy.
so, from now on, i would try to live my life well, take well care of myself, love myself more,
still love the world and ppl ard.
perhaps, hope that oneday when he comes to see me, i would suprise him, at least suprise myself.

anyway... i think i better just be patient, rest, and be pleasant and peaceful.
there's nothing much i can do besides living my life well and be possitive, be hopeful.
well.. i still care about him a lot. i miss him. i'm waiting for him still, and i m not changing.
but if he doesnt let me know what he is up to, i cant understand him, and i wont be able to communicate
with him. everyone do need some time while they have to focus on things. i do respect that,
and i dont wanna act like pushy or agressive, coz i dont like these, so...
yea... give the time and space he needs, and stay out from the messy mood.
besides the part of missing him, i still want my life well, i wanna enjoy my life here, have fun here.
this is what Castor would like to be.

Castor... i know you're not strong. i know you have your weakness. and that is not a blame.
it is just how you are. i know you're not faking anyhting, because you have been always honest
to yourself and others. you're sincere to everyone ard you, unless you gotta defense for yourslef.
even thoguh there is hard time in relationship, you did acted aggressively and hurted some ppl,
you knew what you were doing and you learned from your past. you should be proud of yourself.
for something you couldnt see now, you should be patient and be hopeful.
coz, there might be another way waiting for you. and you know what? there is always suprise in
life, that's what draw you back from your dying thinking. remember, please remember that..
no matter what happen in the future, if you wanna fall down, you could, but you should stand up
again, coz.. if you dont do it for youself, no one would. and you dont wanna miss out all the treasures
in life. for whoever loves you, they would be very sad seeing you mis-treating yourself.
you deserve a good life, and it's not dependent on anyone, but yourself and your faith.
he might be the one, but before counting on him, you should count on yourself as well.
you have to understand that... you always have the choices to change things, to make yourself happier.
when you love someone, you have to learn how to love yourself first.
if you dont even know how to love yourself, how do you know how to love a person right?
take the time, the chance to.... breath and rest. you would find more and more later.. i'm sure you would..
coz.. you're Castor.

>>August 31, 2007 at 6:00:56 PM GMT+8

2007 年 8 月 29 日 星期三 【晴】

hey...

i m very busy today. got many works to do.
hummm i was angry.. coz Ella was kindda.. "stupid". anyway.. i dont care..
i just listen to her, and try to do my work.

then got thinking of my another job. hummmm planing on stuffs.
well well well. things should be going well soon.

i m very tired.

mom asked about Stephen today.
i think of him. dont know how he is doing now.
guess he's not hiding up from me.... i hope he's not.

i called Ade as well, but she was out.. hummmmm..... hope to chat with her soon..
i will try to call tomorrow.

>>August 30, 2007 at 3:19:05 PM GMT+8

2007 年 8 月 28 日 星期二 【晴】

hi.

i m very sleepy.. now it's 2 05am.

i had been sitting at the office, chatting with Brett till my lunch time.
i actually worked on my own stuff during lunch break.
well he has 2 hrs gap ? i forgot how long he has seat with me this morning.
he's a fun guy. he's not like his age. anyway... thanks, otherwise i would be pretty bored.

then i had my lunch time by myself after done with some personal work.. then back to work...
nothing special. same things, same class with Alex. hahaha.. he's smart.
he's very naughty though..

then after that, i had been working on some new enrollments. quite busy till i got off at 8 15.


well... time flys... soon to be September huh.
i remember... last Aug.. i was in Van. then back to HK and changed work place.
then during those few days dramatically changing everything.
back form Vancouver again, a big move on from Benny, met Stephen, then changed workplace,
then be with Stephen in a long distance relationship. then.... working, picking things up at Elchards..
then.. busy with lots of promotions, new classes, then Christmas Programme.
during those few months, got 3 break ups with Stephen, then engaged in late Nov or Dec.
then had been planing for meeting up in Van... lots of things happened.. very difficult at times,
then finally we met in March, and i was back in April...
then now it's Sep again... "wake me up when Sep ends." ha.. nice song..
i mean... time flies... really fast passing...
that was a long time from Sep to March. coz... we met on line everyday and night..
it was quite passionate and intense. he was like the total of my life. my every happiness was related
with him. and it was very true that i was pretty happpy at the time being. i was so in love and feel
like dreaming everyday. it was really amazing.

then... since i'm back in April till now... almost heading Sep.. it's almost half year, 6 months right?
anotehr 6 months.. but.. i m not meeting him in Sep ot Oct. it sounds a bit weird.
coz.. these 6 months seem very fast passing. i dont even find 5 months gone.
maybe coz i'm too busy and tired. i always mess up with time and days. sigh.
then... we have experieced our 4th and 5th break ups.. i really hope that's just the end of the break ups.
i mean.. i dont want to break up again and again. it's pretty tiring and painful.
i guess he must be very tired and busy at his work now, i dont see him on line for almost 1 week.
since..... last... Wed? i couldnt remember. the last Mon was really terrible, really.
but then for me its like passing 2 weeks. my last Mon seems like the last 2 Mons for me.
my clock is not right, it's always messed up.
i remember he told me that... it would be soon to see him again.. it was in April..
and now it's gonna be Sep... would i be able to see him soon? i really hope to see him soon...
would he actually come to HK as what he said? i should have faith in him.

anyway... yea.. kindda missing him. thinking of him.
i want to call him... but... i m not sure... if he wants to hear from me or not.
it's weird. hummm.. i dont know.

hummmm i still have many works to do..
my own stuffs and school work... i'm very tired..
i hope to take day off.. but.. i shouldnt.
i always think if i should quit Elchards. coz... i could be so free sometimes in the office doing my
own stuffs. but at the same time.. i really hate being at the office for such long hrs 4 days/ week.
it's so sick. it's been 1 year, and my pay is still the same or even worse. i cant stop myself leaving...
i wanna stay coz i love the kids and i love my job but just the situation is not what i like to be in.

i heard the songs today... "When You Believe", "Someone s Watching Over me".
i really love those songs.. "When You Believe" is from Junming when i was 16 or 17 in High School.
"Someone's Watching Over Me" is ard.. my 18 or 19 in Canada.
they were both very encouraging.
"many nights weive prayed, with no proof anyone could hear. in our hearts a hopeful song, we barely understood."
it's true.

i'm trying ot be patient, so that i could get more peace.
i m waiting...

i dont wanna go to the counselling on Sep 3. coz.. i dont have extra money to go on that day.
hummm i think i need to discuss with them.

i miss.... him...
but i still could live my life here.
that's what i'm learning.

>>August 29, 2007 at 6:46:18 PM GMT+8

2007 年 8 月 27 日 星期一 【晴】

hi.

i am so tired today. a bit sick. headache.
i woke ard 1 pm.
then had late lunch ard 3pm..
then heading to the meeting ard 5pm at Prine Edward. before i went to Festival Walk in Kowloon Tong.
well well well... today is really strange. feels like i'm not counscious all the time.
after meeting, i went back to school. i had class today, new term starts.
i take one course only, PSY 432 Personality. quite difficult actually.
i m not quite ready to be back to school, i think.
like i'm very tired and lazy. i think i need time to rest more. but yea... i cant.
the first class today. no suprise. same Dr. Chan, some old students, a few new students.
got the course outline and i was shocked. my mid term is coming up soon.
omg. i should start doing my assignment soon, coz... mid term crash the assignment paper.
but then i have a small assignment due to next week. so yea... sigh..
crazy . but lucky that... i only have one course.

then i could do more jobs on my plan at work, but not about Elchards.
i have a meeting today with Rami and Edgar. it was fine.
we all have the clear picture now. but i still dont really trust everything yet.
i need to do some more preparation and keep my eyes on thingsss.
anyway.... yea... hope everything would be fine soon.
stick with the plan.. and i probably need to do some more calculation and other planing things.
i actually find it's not very fair to me. but yea... coz the thing is.. i cant totally take over the role,
and i dont have the facitlies here. so, i need partner, and i have two now.
but the thing is... well... i hope Edgar would do his job well, otherwise i would be very pissed.
i have the ideas, i have the experience, i have the whole picture, and now i need to share profit
with two partners, that could be quite risky. but if Edgar and his man-power can do better marketing
then my own one effort, then... student amount should be okay... then... still could have a fair profit.
if his team doesnt do well, i should not count on him... and ... i think i dont trust him that much.
i have to protect myself on this anyway. and for Rami.. i'm quite sorry to him on the certain degree..
coz he might feel his possition is being invaded. but... it's still good for him to try different stretergies
now. it's not like the past anymore.
that's how he lose his income, but he's gonna gain much more in losing those 30%.
i feel a little bit unfair because... the ideas are from me, the information is provided by me..
then, i actually got almost everything incharged, i just dont have the biggest profit share.
say... Rami and i are equal on this business. but i find i might not be satisfied later on.
well, i hope that i would get what i deserve, and i hope they would be the good partners,
so we can run better business.

then, i wish thins would start better off in the coming three weeks.
coz the most difficult time would be after two weeks.

back to my Disneyland part...
hummmm hahaha... i really love there. even though it was not a very big park or not the best..
it's still like a dream there. i find the fireword really touching.. and i wish someday i could be there
watching the firework with my love.
humm i quite recommend couples or familys being there... have a fun and romantic day there.
just put down all the heavy work or problems, just go in and be a child for one day or have fun with kids.
you would get so much fun that you couldnt find at other places.
it's just so dreamy, so gracful, and so.... incredible.. it's a good ressort to rest , refresh, and heal.
i really wanna write more and more.. but i m so sleepy already.. it's 2 14am..
i should have slept ard 1 am. i didnt wanna come on line but.. yea..

anyway..
Castor needs some more rest, but guess she couldnt rest.
she's sick again.. something is wrong.. and headache.

and she.... misses Stephen.
dont know what's going wrong with her.. she has dreamt of him... and... she misses him.
hummmm..... guess he must be very busy recently.


anyway.. i would be pretty busy again. that sucks.

>>August 28, 2007 at 6:18:21 PM GMT+8

2007 年 8 月 26 日 星期日 【晴】

heehee

today... my sis Leggy and Miki and i went to Disneyland, then my parents came afterward.
we, our family have a pretty nice day today.
i would like to blog at here but i'm too tired already...
i will be back.


a few moments i was very excited and happy, i was like a kid, i was just back to my childhood.
a few moments i was touched, my eyes were wet.. haha... dont laugh... hahaha...
a few moments i was laughing so hard with my sisters, OMG.
today i just felt like being away from my crazy world, then i could have advanture, sweet,
happy, touching, fun and loving time with my family in the lovely Disneyland HK.
we took lots of funky pics, lots of pics just in the fantacy wonderland there,
then, we had lunch, we took care of each others, we had super fun time, laughing..
thanks Leggy for the whole planing of today. she is the youngest but the guide today hahaha.
then Miki was a nice companion. she's okay to hang out with. with them.... never being bored..
they're the noisy ppl, very noisy girls. especially Leggy... omg... she laughed too loud all the time. hahah.
and they like to joke for nothing, really funny. really.

anyway... i love daddy and mom. i thought they're not coming to join us..
but then suddenly, they just poped up. ha... great... we had good time all together, quite fun.

i like that jungle man Tarzen... i like lots of shows there.. i like the game and main street, resturant,
and of course the castle... VERY VERY beautiful... i m in love with it hahaha.
i love the princess there.. omg... i was so exited seeing them. and they smile to me!!!!!!


i miss Stephen.
be right back.

>>August 27, 2007 at 6:26:16 PM GMT+8

2007 年 8 月 25 日 星期六 【晴】

well..
i rested at home today till evening joint my parents dinner.
it was okay today at home. laying down, resting, wacthing movie.. quite fiine..
just ate a lot... feel so tired.. guess coz i m not feeling well.
well, tomorrow our family is going to Disnelyland.
wish we would have fun and the wonderful weather tomorrow =)

i miss Stephen..
is he okay?

share an article here, about communication from Yahoo.com
Guy talk
Six proven ways to get through to your man
By Diane Peters


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"We need to talk," you say. He makes a dash for the refrigerator or reaches for the remote control. Yep. Pinning down your guy for a heart-to-heart can be hard work. And having him truly understand and respond to what you say? Some days, it would be easier to split the atom in your basement. Blame outdated social conventions: boys grow up learning that it's not OK to cry or yak about feelings. "There's a very strong unspoken code about what guys are and are not to say," says Karyn Gordon, a Toronto-based relationship coach.

But the good news is, you can help him open up. Good communication isn't about changing your man or learning fancy discussion techniques - if he isn't speaking your language, just try talking his. Here are six proven ways to do it, courtesy of Gordon and four happily partnered women who've managed to crack the guy code.

1. Be concrete
While women's minds tend to float into the abstract, men prefer the concrete. "I want to be loved!" and "I want to be appreciated!" are two phrases Gordon hears women say to their partners all the time, she says - and "Huh?" is the usual reply. "Most guys are very literal," she explains. "Only when women are very clear and break the concept down into a specific behaviour, will they be able to follow it."

Real women testify: Denise, who's been married for 12 years, was tired of not getting any help from her husband around the house. She was constantly asking him to "support" her, but it wasn't until she got specific about the tasks she needed help with - and why - that he shaped up. For example, instead of vague requests to pull his weight, Denise specifically said she needed the garage cleaned out so she could park her car there when she got home from work. The result? He worked on the task for eight hours straight.

2. Keep it simple
Guys have a limited amount of patience for details, so avoid drawn-out tales if you want to keep their attention. And when you want him to feel sorry for you after your boss chews you out at work, tell him clearly you just want a sympathetic ear and reassurance, not 10 suggestions for solving the problem.

Real women testify: Lesley Provost, who's been married for five years, recalls being upset at her partner for having an extended chat with an ex-girlfriend at a party. He had no idea why she was upset, so instead of recounting the events of the evening, Lesley laid it out plainly: "When you talked to your old girlfriend, it made me feel as if she was allowed to push your buttons," she said. She told him it hurt her and she didn't want him to do it again. "Just skip the details and slowly and clearly enunciate the emotional impact of whatever the issue is," Lesley says.

3. End the guessing game
It would be so, so nice if men just knew how we were feeling. But they often don't, for one simple reason: we don't tell them. "Women have this idea that if we tell them exactly what we mean, it loses the romance," says Gordon. Also, men often don't heed body language, so sulking, stomping up the stairs or pouting at the dinner table might go unnoticed. If there's a problem, just say it.

Real women testify: Newlywed Nisreen Furniturewala recalls crying her eyes out and answering "No" to the question "Is anything wrong?". Her husband shrugged and walked away. But she learned something that night. "A man will never understand you; you have to spell it out for him."

4. Slow it down
Most women are quite capable of doing two things at once while thinking about 10 others. Guys tend to focus on one thing at a time, so that's why they so often say "I don't know" when multiple topics get tossed their way out of the blue, says Gordon. Stick to one issue at a time - and give him time to shift gears and think about it before pressing him for answers.

Real women testify: Lesley recalls imagining a new life in a new town when she had just sent in an application for a faraway school. She was chatting a mile a minute about the town, where they might live and what their life would be like, and her husband just couldn't follow along. "I don't think boys think about cause and effect the same way we do," says Lesley. She finds she thinks about preventing problems or predicting what will happen in the future. "He only thinks about how to fix things in the present." While she was already thinking about where they'd move to and what their life would be like, he just wanted to know if her letter of reference had been mailed in.

5. Choose the right time and place
Launching into a huge discussion about your future together at a dinner party or late at night probably won't yield the results you're looking for. Gordon recommends talking about any important subjects over dinner. Many men find direct eye contact unsettling, so she also suggests trying to broach tough subjects while you're in the car together.

Real women testify: Paula Myers Bitter, who's been married for four years, has learned never to try serious conversation on public transit, during dull moments in soccer games or when her husband first comes in the door. She now reserves serious discussion for quiet days or evenings home. With no distractions, their conversations go more smoothly and are much less likely to result in a fight.

6. Hone your discussion
"'How do you feel about that?' is a way too open-ended question," says Gordon. "He'll just say: 'I don't know.'" Instead, ask him if the situation made him feel angry, sad or neglected, and it'll help you both get closer to understanding what went on.

Real women testify: Lesley used to assume if she kept asking her husband how something made him feel, he'd eventually break down and tell her. Then she finally realized he often just didn't know. Now she says: "Did that make you mad?" and runs through a list of emotions until he says "Yes."

You'll be surprised how quickly a guy responds when you speak his language. And if you're really desperate, remember the basics. "It's easier to persuade husbands to agree with you when you're naked or when you might become naked," quips Lesley. "But you already knew that."

First published in Chatelaine.com's September 2006 issue
© Rogers Publishing Ltd.

>>August 26, 2007 at 4:12:25 PM GMT+8