2008 年 3 月 9 日 星期日 【晴】

hello...
now it's 1:01am... on Mon.

humm i'm still studying for the US Government... not started the Adulthood yet.
i know that i'm gonng running out of time, just like what i'm usually doing.

you know.. i'm not tired of studying... but... the feeling of exam is really terrible.
if i could just skip it, i would be just skipping it..
i took a nap before dinner. it was okay.. i miss him, especially when i'm in bed.
studying at night... or in the morning.. it's just the same.. the matter of... "quiet."
the more quiet enviornment, the more calm i would remian.. but at the same time.. it 's lonelier.
it's the feeling of... fears and stress.. like tireness.
some ppl are afraid of the exams coz they are kind of lazy, dont wanna study..
i'm afraid of exams coz.. i think i know what my limit is. i could be good at paper assignment..
i could be good in thinking process, on notes, discussion... but... in exam... with my poor memorry..
i dont know what i can do with that, especailly when i'm stressed.. i would lost everything on my mind.
and at the moment now.. it's kind of weird that.. it's probably my last exam in this school.
i would miss it.. and.. when one day i dont have to attend to school.. what i would be doing on my
weekends? still staying at home reading and studying? or.. i would be too free?
i guess now it's not the right time to think too much.. at least i should try my best on my exams.

you know... the worst is... i feel like trapped in the stress.. it's not just the pressure..
it's stress and fears.

sometimes.. got chatting with friends.. some old good friends..
it seems like everyone is changing. as we grow older.. we all have different plans..
it's no longer as same as before.. maybe only a few years ago... things changed so much already..
does our friendship stop at that stage, or move on with the life going?
i miss the old smiles, old songs, old hugs, old tears.. old silly jokes.. old old old memorries..
every moment was so beautiful. and today.. when we are all living in the different places..
i still miss them... think of them. sometimes i wanna cry.. coz those memorries become something
unreachable but in my heart. i would never wanna forget them or forget anything that we have together.
with honey... it's even stronger... i guess... i really love him.. and i really wanna be with him for my life long.


okay.. i should really try my best to study for my exams..
i just hope that i wont panic.. coz.. it should be something memorable in my life.
you remember... how much ppl belive in you that you would be able to finish your tasks.
relax Castor. you gotta focus and be confident in yourself that you could make it.

>>March 9, 2008 at 5:47:19 PM GMT+8

2008 年 3 月 8 日 星期六 【晴】

hi.

hello.
it has been very stressful here with me.

i saw Chris on... Friday.
he came.. he apologized to me.. we talked for a short while.. shaking hands..
he was sweet. he's not a bad person, but he really left so much troubles to me and Ella.

hummmm..
yesterday i went to school so early in the morning.. got a make up class..
we did lots of revision, discussion...
then after school, i went back to office for anotehr 2 hrs, till Shan came taking over again.
thanks her so much. saved my life, so.. i just went home.. resting... taking a long nap.
then.. dinner, did a little bit revision.. watching tv.... exercising for an hr... just wanna relax..
i read in bed... then.. just fell asleep..

today... i really gotta study hard... i'm a bit worried..
but since this time would probably be my last final exams.. so.. i dont really wanna panic..
i hope that i could relax and enjoy. ha.. sounds a bit silly.. but... true that dont wanna panic.
i'm very tired already.. dont wanna stress out myself again and again.

have a conversation with honey yesterday. i really miss him much..
one night, i was washing my face, and using the facial mask..
haha.. i found the smell actually a bit similar with honey's shower gel.
i miss him so much.. i really do. i just wanna sleep with him, when i wake up, i would see him.
i wanna be there for him. i miss hugging him, kissing him, eating with him, everything.

anyway.. exams on Mon and Tue. hummmmm... worry.. but... just gotta try my best..
never give up, stay till the last min i have.
it's been long long way to come today... and here i am, preparing for my last finals.

>>March 9, 2008 at 6:12:20 AM GMT+8

2008 年 3 月 5 日 星期三 【晴】

today is just another busy day.
i had an free breakfast time at office.. checking sites and having sandwich and tea..
then started my busy day.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rami chatted with me on MSN. he invited me for a drink on Sat. it's his birthday. i told him i would try
to work on my schedule.. but actually.. i know i'm not going.. how would i be okay to go there again?
it's in LKF. i know i would like to have some fun there, you know.. dancing, meeting up friends..
but.. i 'm not going.. i have finals next week, and i havent started preparing.. and i have told Stephen
that i'm not going to those places again. . ..

anyway... i called Stephen.. he was not picking up. i heard his voice mail.. but then i left him mesg
that.. i knew he's not gonna call back, so i wouldnt return him my phone number.
i told him... i just wanna see how he's doing.. actually... besides... i really wanna hear from him..
i miss him, and i do need someone to care about me as well.. to ask me how i'm doing, to care about
if i am okay or not okay.

tonight, just now, i watched tv.. Desperate Housewive.
it was kind of funny.. Mike starts to remember what happened.. but then Susan is engaged with
Ian already.. and... Mike is just a bit chicken. he didnt wanna recovery all of his memorry...

Eddie took off her clothes in front of Carlo.. just coz... she wanna show him that... he could see her
differently from the normally way ppl would look at her. she said she could live without those mini
skirt, high hills which would show longer legs, the push up bra, which could show better breast..
the bikini panties, which could hide the scar from the C-section, and she doesnt need those..
coz Carlo can start to see her differently.. just.. she's just as simple as other woman who needs to be
loved, and she said.. now the Eddie is standing infront of you.. she just wants a chance.

Lynette was pissed off at her orange uniform, and she fight with her husband.. but then...
when he fell down in the shop.. she was so desperare to get help for him, and now...
she needs to sta strong, to stand for her husband.

Gabbie met new guy... he's a rich guy.. who is running for the Mayor..
then... she stole a few dresses in his house.. those belong to his ex wife.
his ex wife saw her wearing her dress in an occassion.. then.. she turned very angry asking her to
take it off imediately.. Gabriella said to the guy his ex wife is a bitch ...
that guy asked her not to call his ex wife bitch. she wasnt an angry wife before..

she's a very nice girl. he treated her like even worse than some "girlfriend in an affair". he buys her
a big house, gives her much money, and he walks away every night. when he needs her, she would
be always there for him. but when she needs him, he wasnt there. when she was sad about him,
he would pay her money so that she could go get another piece of beautiful dress. so now, in her
closet... thete re full of those dress.. Gabreilla stole a few.. there are stilll... many.
so now he said to Gabreilla that.. she could understand how sad his ex wife was, and why she was
so angry at him.

so.. i just thought of a song...
"Dont Write me off" from "Music and Lyrics"...

2008 年 3 月 5 日 星期三 【晴】

it's a really long day at work..
really busy without any break time, and i was quite stressed and tensed.

i got the ticket, then rushed back to the office...
i'm very tired...

here below is ... just some real arguement or conflicts i am facing in the office...
i feel like no ways out. so.. just typed them out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i worked over time.. i left ard 9 20 pm.. and i canceled the teaching with Richard coz... at 8 30 pm...
i was still working about the office stuffs, couldnt just leave my work.. so.. we postponed again.
i hate it so much.. coz.. i work over time but i wont get paid.. if i teach him then i get paid.
i hate it. i just hate it. it's unfair. anyway... i dont like Ella laughing about my serious face.
i m quite tensed today yea i know.. and coz of the stupid stuffs at work i 'm dealing with.
she laughs, and i dont know what's so funny to laugh. i'm so damn busy, and she's so disorganized.
some teacher suddenly called telling me coming for the interview and i know nothing about that.
she got some resumes on my desk, and she asked me to arrange interviews, and she made some of
them and i didnt know about. what does she want me to do? i'm so fed up sometimes.
she told me we should work on the handbook design, and i was thinking of it.. she did it on
one day only, and here we go, we have a brand new handbook which is ugly in my eyes, i mean...
come on, i would prefer the old one seriously.. and she says it looks really nice.. for me... it looks like..
" a one hour work " like some high school staudent would do for their computer class.
i dont mean it looks bad, but very improfessional. how could she do that? just coz she wants things
fast, it doesnt mean that could be so.... simple ? she has made lots of decisions in these two days
i was not at the office. i dont know.. she's always so spontanious.. so... forget it...
if things go wrong, dont ask me to fix them. it's so stupid.. just so stupid...
sometimes i really couldnt agree with her on the business stuffs. like... how could she ever trsut some
strangers that easily at work? it's Sunday classes, no one would be at the office but that teacher,
someone you only see once, and you let her being alone at your office ?! it doesnt make sense to me.
look at the new note paper design, yea it's cute, but it looks like some exercise paper for young kids,
and it's wasting space on the paper! it's like... now the old kid needs 2 pieces of them instead of 1.
how could she do that? i really couldnt understand. there are far much ways to design stuffs, and
why she chose this? omg. and then... it's not our first time to hire this nationality ppl to work with us..
and they failed on image, failed on the accent, failed on the reputation.. it's not stereotype, it's reality
that we need strong and reliable teachers who would be able to teach in a higher quality standard,
especially our big competitor is coming in the end of this month. when will she wake up?! i'm so fed up.

an idian mother, who has experiences in teaching, doesnt show how suitable she is for us.
even if you like her, you gotta test her, and get her sign an agreement to protect us. when will she
understand that? thigns keep happening.. and i dont know when she would relaize what i 'm talking
about. a mother, who can work on Sunday full time, is not a responsible mom.
,i could tell better story, and it doesnt show you how well i could teach or how responsible i am.
Sunday for religious ppl, especially for Idian religious ppl, they would need to go to church, especially
those who has married, with kids.. why her husband didnt ask her to go to church with him?
why she didnt need to stay home for family day stuffs like that.. how could she work on Sun, and
why she left her previous work places. sigh... i dont know why Ella.. and.. you know.. this teacher
has the strong accent of her own country. when she called, i thought it was some maid calling to ask
for information of the students or stuffs like that. i didnt know that she's coming for the interview.
i dont know... if that new center, that big one would use native speakers, i mean... white teachers..
then.. i think we would lose our image so badly, coz.. parents do compare, especially for those who are smart.
When Ella, the head teacher is not here.. and the new teachers couldnt teach well... then... Elchards
would close down. i dont know.. i really dont know.. well.. i have told her all i knew and i thought..
she's not listening, and it's her business.. i'm just being responsible telling her what i see and think..
i'm not being racist, i do know some good teachers they're not white ppl, it doesnt matter that much..
but now, we just need at least 2 white teachers to balance a bit. now, in our center... we only got
Chinese, and half Philipino half Chinese. a sucessful company for english learning should be a bit
more muti-cultural that's true, but we need real native speaker. sigh. i'm so fed up. WHATEVER.
it's not my business. i just dont want to help her fixing all the aftermath.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay... i'm headahce.. and... i feel bad.

anyway..
here is the picture of that design...

me and the pic


it's just the draft... then... yea... there's a dove at the left with a heart..
then at the right should be three roses, behind CASTOR, there's a letter L, stand for Lau, my last name.
under CASTOR, there should be some daisy flowers... the crown and the cross means God
and the power and energy in my life...
then of course the Ribbon would be the place to write something important.. he could design.. or...
it would be like.. "Her Husband: (full name) "




i will do it when i get marry. it sounds crazy, so i would put it on some secret place, hahaha..
only my husband would see it of course ;)

>>March 5, 2008 at 6:22:50 PM GMT+8

2008 年 3 月 4 日 星期二 【晴】

good morning Castor.

actually.. i know you knwo that now it's going to be 12noon,
and you actually started your day very early today.
yup... i woke up very early, so as to run to TST, aunt' office to pick up my ticket..
but then... on the way tehre, at Fo Tan station, i found i ve lost my wallet.. and.. i didnt know...
if it's home or.. lost. sigh.. i got back home and i saw it was covered by my anotehr jacket in the living room.
i was so stupid, then... i went back to sleep for anotehr 15 mins then i came back to the office..
got lots of work.. but i'm leaving office in 20 mins, need to run to TST and back to Tai Po within 2 hrs.
if i have put my otopus card inside the wallet, then i would have found my wallet not with me
earlier than the train was already heading to Fo Tan station. ahhhhhh~~~ i'm so tired.

ok..
here is the very good news.. i have got my two paper back.
one for my US Government, and the other one for Adulthood.
honestly, i know how bad i did, and i mean i have lots of places need to be improved.. coz i was so
lack of time to do editing or proofreading.. and then.. i wasnt having much time to digest the information,
not plenty of time to plan and structure my paper.. i know i could do much much better than now, if i
could have mroe time. and here the result is supringly good.. THANKS GOD. Thanks everyone who has
ever helped honestly.. like my sister Miki.. she helped me to pick up some books from the libarary.
and Alesja helped me on some business law definittion..stuffs liek that.. and.. hee..

it's my first time to get full marks on any academic paper... i got it 60/60 points. i was suprised, but calm.
Proff Casey commented... "Top Notch Paper, Castor! See Edit... 60points.. A. " he circled ard 3 places
of my grammar mistakes, some of them are my careless mistakes.. then.. yea.. i was suprised.. coz..
i didnt know my paper would be rated that high. i thought it was kindda... immature, as in.. i would need
to edit alot, too original. i was pretty sick at that time.. i spent a few over nights to finish it, and still
wrapping it in the early morning... it was pretty hard for me, and.. yea.. very sick..
anyway... id never got full marks in my life.. never.. so... i'm really suprised... omg hahaha ^^

then.. for my Adulthood class. heeheeheee... i d never heard Dr. Chan given more than 90%.
and the 1st time i got 90% was the first term, the Abnormal Psychology class. and heeheee...
this term, i got another 90%... i'm happy. i usually get ard 83-88%.. and this time is 90% =)
and as what i thought.. i was running of time.. i didnt have a very clear mind on what i wrote..
i just kept editing my writing, my paragraph, the whole structure.. and.. i was happy to write this paper..
coz i knew that's probably my last paper to do besides the final project. i just wanna do it great,
even though i know it wouldnt be perfect, couldnt be.. just try my really best to do my really really the best.
and.. yea.. i make it =) Thanks God.. thanks for everything that happened beautifully in my life.

yesterday... mom and me went to Causeway Bay to meet some aunts and grandpa..
my treat to have chinese dim sum.. aunt Hon is back to HK.. which is living in Van..
she comes visiting, and she was the one who drove me to aunt Chau's hoem for dinner one night
last year, and she drove me back to honey's home.. and i bet she saw him opening the door for me.
hahahaha... yea.. anyway.. the mom-aunt catch up time.. i was the one sitting and being a good girl..
and i 'm also the one who pay.. and then... fine.. i'm totally fine with it. and then mom and me went to
Sha Tin.. walked ard.. i back home resting... i canceled the teaching and make it tonight..
then.. i make a small tattoo design. my own specific one. Miki and Leggy were kindda doubting on me..
like.. "is it really under your pen? " or.. "really? did you just draw it?" i said yea, of course. it took me 30 mins.
haha.. ahhhhhh.. Miki took a pic of it.. i could share with friends later.. probably put it here too.
it's just.. about life and me.. and also i'm going to put my husband's name on my tattoo design,
so which it also means.. i'm nto getting this tattoo yet, but after married. it'll be a brand new stage in my life.
i'll just keep this design with me, wait till i get marry, then i will put it on..... some secret place ony my body.
haha..

you know.. i kept singing the song.. "way back into love" from the movie "Musics and Lyrics."
the weather is very beautiful outside! i'm in love with it... haha..
but... when i sing it.. i think of him alot... i miss him..

okay.. i need to rush to there for my ticket now..
brb..

anyway... Cas... i want you to stay focus on your exams.
i know you miss him.. and you're kind of worried.. but you know....
you have something to finish before you go. it's what you should do.

>>March 5, 2008 at 4:11:35 AM GMT+8

2008 年 3 月 2 日 星期日 【晴】

hi..

warm sunset...

i'm heading to class soon. i cancel the teaching tonight.
and then... yea.. watched one of my fav movie, "way back into love"..
=) it's so sweet.

2008 年 3 月 1 日 星期六 【晴】

good evening Castor..
now it's actually Monday, 3 11am on Monday.

the Sat was really busy... i walked in and out of the office 8 times... lots of work.
kindda angry when i found things wrong.. as in... about Ella.. but it's okay... i just .. let it be.
there were a few times i needed to explain with the parents about Chris leaving. i felt so sorry about
that, unhappy, coz he was the one being very irresponsible, and i was the one to take care of his shit.
yea.. contract issue. i know, but.. i really hate ppl doing this.. maybe he was dishonest to us at the first
place already.. i dont know, he's gone and it's better that he's gone.. otherwise, more troubles.

this Sun.. i woke up ard 12 30pm. i took a long sleep. nice. i read last night.. then fell asleep..
i stayed home watching tv, CSI series for 3 hrs, then.. i also checked on the internet.. and had my
healthy food. haha.. i exercised twice or three times last week, and i'm losing weight a bit =)
i will keep it.. and like today, i exercised for 1 hr 10 mins. i feel good after exercise. i didnt really eat
healthly i guess.. just try to cut down snack... eaat simple food.. soy milk and tofu puddin become
my fav protine source.. then i eat bread instead of fried food.. you know.. those comfort food..
i eat less chocolate or other sweeten food.. i choose juice very carefully.. and.. eat lots of vege..
i eat more on each meals in stead of... having lots of snack.. i find that's the better diet for me.
i choose to exercise at night before sleep... coz... i wouldnt eat right before sleep.. so... it helps
digesting dinner, burning extra calories, and help me get to sleep... i feel good in this way.
actually... it's a bit hard for me to go on diet.. but then when i think about... the control... that i should
have on my own, then i think i really could control myself on my food choice and stuffs.. coz..
i'm not a kid, and i should have my control on what i eat and when to stop eating. i'm not a pig.

humm after that... ard late afternoon.. i took a walk.. it was a beautiful day outside. warm up a bit already.
it's not as cold. i want warm... coz.. it's more alive.. when it's too cold, and then the weather became
so upset, like.. depressing cloudy day. today is fine, got the sun shine and some wind.. very fresh..
like the Spring is coming. i want it.. but HK can be very hot and stuffy.. then i will hate it again haha.
ok.. i walked back to the office to pick up my cheque.. and had a little chat with Ella.. it was good.
we talk about pregnacy, office, study, relationship..

i called Ade last night.. it was very nice to chat with her. coz it's been a really long while i havent
spoken to some close frineds like Cyn or Cap on phone. Ade has been back to Singapore for 4 months
already.. wanna know how she's doing there.. she seems fine and happy. i m happy for her. i feel
very good to chat with her, coz it's like the old friend can comfort your heart when you're so fed up
with the current affairs or whatever going on stressful in your life.

got a short catch up with Cyn on Facebook today.. =) she's enjoying her time with someone and her
work place. i'm happy for her too. i guess we would meet up soon when i fly over in May. i miss her.
she's always a strong girl, an optimistic girl, that she would encourage me lots and give me a hand.

just now.. i logged into my Facebook again. i found my application boxes were moved by some ppl,
i dont know who they are. i find it quite annoying. i dont know if it was some automatical update on
Facebook or any small adjustment inside there by techniqual department.. or someone really logged
into my account and touched my stuffs there. i find it annoying.. it's like.. i dont know.. it's not the first
time i found things strange on my Facebook there, or in my Hotmail as well. yea i did deleted some
applications on my Facebook within the last week, and i did change some information sometimes..
but wait, give me sometime, i could think about what i have done, what i havent. and i m curious about
that, coz.. i dont know i have done such things which i can see. it's so weird, and i have e-mailed
Facebook to sort of.. finding what was actually going on with my account.

on Facebook, Jeanline was sharing a book, "For One More Day". it was my fav book as well.. i really love
that book.. coz.. it makes me think of lots of things and ppl. we are actually giving chances to ppl and
things everyday.. we make many decisions everyday.. and on each time, we might actually did something
stupid or has sacrafied some others that we "dont have a choice." so.. what's really your choice,
and for one more day you could live on your last, would you wanna go back, just for one more day?
what would you wanna do for that, and could you actually do that... what is the most important thing
right now for you, while you're contributing to that, could you make a little balance for the others..
i guess human being is basically the selfish species... but... besides.. is there anything you could do
to make a better life? not saying for others... but actually for yourslef as well. how you decide to live
your life, and with others.

okay.. i m going ot lay down.. do some reading then sleep.
i will try to study tmr... and i would have night class.
i'm very stressed, but.. i should be able to cope with that.

>>March 2, 2008 at 7:52:32 PM GMT+8

2008 年 2 月 29 日 星期五 【晴】

i am very unhappy about Chris.
he just called and quited. he's really bad and very irresonsible.
i dont know how Ella feels, but.. she seems angry.

we got lots of work to do today.. many about the summer courses, and tonz of adv work.
hiring teachers, developing new courses, doing adv, renewing some old stuffs and data..
got a meeting after work.

personally.. i'm very stessed.. coz of my final exams. i havent started the preparation yet..
i am just too stressed and too tired. i called Marry to make an appointment in middle March.
and then... i dont know.. there're just full of plans on my mind about the work and my school work.
one happy thing is.. i got the reply from UIU Fayette campus.. i got my own school e-mail address now.
and then if i need any networking or any help from the US campus, it would be easiler now.
for USU, the old college access, i m still waiting for the next step. still couldnt log in.
i add myself to the UIU network on Facebook. ha.. there're not much ppl though..
then i also talked with Joy on Facebook. i think it would be great to see her again in Van.
she's one of my great teachers besides Lisa hahaha. Joy wasnt my class teacher but she helped me
alot at school.. i really miss her.

it's been a really long day.. and i couldnt relax i dont knwo why..
i just wanna stay in peace and relax..
go to sleep Cas.. you should sleep..

>>February 29, 2008 at 7:38:18 PM GMT+8

2008 年 2 月 28 日 星期四 【晴】

hellloooo...

yesterday was very busy. recently i'm very stressed. i think coz of the finals are coming..
and then... many plans and changes at work. and then... about Ella and my students..
then... of course about the ticket and about Honey. then.. about my parents and sisters..
i guess i gain weight in the past weeks, and i really wanna lose weight.. so.. i exercised at night.
i really wanna lose weight.

actually Marry called. humm well.. i have been calling her Marry, but actually.. her name is.. not Marry.
i dont knwo why i have to call her Marry, protect myself? dont want anyone to find out my counsellor's
name or which counselling center i go to. humm... a few close friends know. Queenie and Shan were
there with me once or twice at the begining started ard summer. at that time, i kind of thinking... if there's
anything happened in case.. i have killed myself.. so at least some ppl would know what was going
on... i was very unstable... but not yet falling any disorders. hummm i guess my case would be
closed pretty soon. i didnt see Marry for 2 months already, and i feel like it's more than 2 months.
i didnt call back, coz i dont have a single hr free in my regular schedule, which would also fit hers.
but then.. in these months... i dont have professional evaluation through there, but at school and on
my own. i mean.. in class, or here, on my diary web page. i try to experiece my life, to love myself more,
and.. it's very nice.. i'm much happier than in summer. but still these 2 months were not easy..
i found myself a bit stronger and yea.. the improvement on myself. i'm glad for my changes, but..
i'm not ready to leave the counselling center. the last time i saw her, she asked me if there's anything
i would be worried about after the end of the counselling sections, i said.. there're some problems
not done yet and i dont know how to explain them, i know they exist but dont know where they hide.
i havent contacted her for 2 months, and she called back... she asked me if i am doing okay, and
if i would like to be back there.. i said sure but just not at the moment, i'm fully occupied. i m going to
fix my schedule then return her a call today afternoon or tmr. i'm a bit nervous.

recently, there re many thoughts ran back into my mind, not as in whatever illustions, but hahaha..
just some flash back moments. i read, i exercised, i watched tv, i ate, i wokred and studyed..
but those unhappy thigns or happy thigns wouldnt die coz of what i do for now. it's strange.
maybe coz i'm just too stressed. i do have good time, but these few days i'm very down..
i guess its coz of my school work and stuffs.

i checked the school website. i need to find some information there.. and i was looking for my e-mail
address and some access into my student account there. but i just lost them. i used to save them at
my hotmail account. but... they were all gone, and now i have to go through lots of process to get
back those access. i'm very unhappy about that honestly.

i hope for my happy smile back.
i hope my diet work, i hope the ticket is fine... oh no i hate those problems on my ticket.
i hope the final exams wont be screwed. i hope my trip to canada would be fine..
i hope honey would be fine.. i hope i would be fine.
do something Cas. your stress wont solve your problems.

>>February 29, 2008 at 5:42:17 AM GMT+8

2008 年 2 月 27 日 星期三 【晴】

hi.

it was a very long day.
these two nights i just couldnt sleep. i kept waking in every few hrs. when i got asleep then i woke again.
then i got weird dreams. if i couldnt sleep well, i couldnt make my day. it's worse than not enough sleep.
if i m lack of sleep, then i could have coffee.. but if i have sleeping time but bad quality sleep..
then my day would be quite difficult for me. i would be moody.

i exercised... i tried to relax and sleep.. but when i lay down in bad.. i just couldnt sleep.

anyway.. yesteray was Leona's last day, and it was okay.. she was much more polite..
but then Christopher just didnt show up again, Ella and i kept calling him 10 times? it was a bit crazy..
how could he forget he has lessons and just dont show up and dont answer phone calls?
Ella was so pissed.. and i was just... dont know.. just kow that i need to help her to get through these.
she took the responsiblity this time as in she talked to the parents by herself.. she explained and
apologized and rearranged time and teacher. she used to be like... oh Castor help me.. can you...blah blah..
maybe coz she relaizes how bad situation that was and she shouldnt trust him anymore?
or she knows that i was in this kind of situation many times before? whatever.
i was in class with Alex as well. they were her clients, not mine.. they did assessment with her..
assigned classes through her.. i just.. dont wanna bother. and i know she's really stressed..
i think she's more mature than before, which is good for the business.
i dont knwo if she would listen to me about Leona. i guess... the students in her class would like to
quit, and after that... there's high chance the students and Leona would keep in touch.
and like what many places complaint about that the teacher and the students would meet up somewhere
afterward, as in ... having classes privately. if we wanna protect ourselves and prevent this sort of
things, then.. we need to do something. i know she doesnt believe me.. but.. if i were her, i would
defintlely talk with Leona to see if she has already got the student's contact, and if she said yes,
then tell her not to do stupid things, and we would reserve rights for the recovery of lost.
if she didnt, then i would need her to sign some conscent like.. to prove that she resigns without
1 month notice and she has already claimed her pay, with the condition that she wouldnt contact
our students privately. If that happen, she has to be responsible for our company lost, and that could
be against the business law. just want to warn her like that.

Christopher would resign as well. he said he was guilty and he thought that the chemistry at office
didnt work. i was like huh? chemistry? why would he need that? you work, not coming here for fun
or any other things like that.. sigh. he was very happy that we give him chances to teach, he wants
to be a teacher, and now he says... teaching is just too much for him. i feel so sorry for him..
i think.. he has potential, but just need some help, experience and training. he shouldnt give up so fast.
if he feels he has been irresponsible and sorry for the mistakes, then he should be responsible for
that and do better next time. he should do soemthing for himself and for the company, not just quit.
it doesnt help much anyway either him or to us. ,but fine.. if we give him more time, it still might not work
out in the end.. so. it's still good to let him leaving, so that we could have the better teachers to come
working with us. i just wish him good luck and dont give up on things so easily.

just too much office talk.. i just want some time to relax and prepare for my fianl exams.

Ella talked with me last night.. she is very stressed and kind of worried about the office.. she will be
leaving in summer when i get back to HK. she's worried if i m not there, then... things might be.. out
of control. i think she trusts me in many ways of the work and the personal life. but.. in office..
she knows that i'm not those kind of aggressive marketing ppl that would be able to help her fight for the
new students. i know what her concern is.. and she wants May to help on that kind of position.
i dont know... for the company interest, or her interest, i should be like that... but for my own interest
or the students interest, i dont want to be too pushy... you know.. sigh. it's just a difficult thing for me,
and just not my strengths. i m like that.. i dont wanna play tricks or you know... lie to the parents so as
to get more students or classes. this kind of cunning thing... is just not... my work. i dont like that and
i dont that. coz.. i think.. working in education shouldnt be too comercial? i dont know. i just dont do that.
i think we should put the students interest first and at the same time to protect the company interest..
not just sucking money.

i'm writing too much.
and i'm worried for my final exams..
i got a mid term back.. it's PSY222 Adulthood class with Dr. Chan..
i got 86%.. which is.. a B. so.... waiting for the paper back.. and gotta study really hard for the exam,
coz my two courses are both very... difficult for me, as in too many information..

i guess i really need to relax.

>>February 28, 2008 at 4:11:16 AM GMT+8