2008 年 5 月 8 日 星期四 【晴】

hello, morning Castor.

yesterday was okay... just worked.. had lunch with Miki...
then... back to work..
assisting Sophia for her arts & crafts class. haha... the kids are so funny..
then yea.. i wrote the memo for the teachers yesterday.. so Sophia was chatting with me..
congraduating me for the long vacation and stuffs. haha.. yea we chatted a bit about work...
and she told me about her working exp in the past. well it was great to talk with her though.
she's a very good teacher. she used to the principle anyway..

then yea.. had class with Alex.. we played bubbles, blowing bubbles.. it was kind of fun looking
him playing with Thomas. haha.. then we did grammar exercise, some spelling, and writing. he was
good beside he's really naughty.

then.... walked home after work.. heehee.. mom left me a chocolate tart. so nice...
so i was eating it and resting... then after dinner just watched tv.. "Big Shots" funny.
then.. i tried to go to bed early last night, i was really tired and headache.. but then i just couldnt sleep..
i had a bad sleep last night.. got some weird dreams.. so yea.. bad mood when i woke up..

back to the office...
Joey mesg me on MSN.. weird. she seems very nice.. and she seems totally forgot what she did to us.
she wask asking me about if i am going over to Canada coz she's going too. alright... i wasnt very
excited talking with her actually.. but i dont wanna be rude.. so just =) smile. she asked me to say hello to Ella..
i said sure. humm i guess Ella would be suprised. and then yea.. she said she would like to come visit
us after grad and stuffs.. she miss us.. for me... personally and honestly.. i dont miss her..
it's like.. she didnt know how terrible things she left us, and she forgot about she made lies on me to my
boss. what kind of person is that? i dont know.. if she comes i would see her of course.. it just doesnt
matter to me whether she would come or not. i dont miss someone who betrayed her friend like that.
i'm not typically angry at her. i just dont like her anymore. i said.. probably in August we could meet..
but i wonder if i would really wanna meet her in August?

so... i'm going back to work now.



Once in a lifetime means there’s no second chance
so I believe than you and me should grab it while we can
Make it last forever and never give it back
It’s our turn, and I’m loving’ where we’re at because this moment’s really all we have.

Everyday of our lives, wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight
Gonna run while we’re young and keep the faith
Everyday from right now, gonna use our voices and scream out loud
Take my hand; together we will celebrate.

They say that you should follow and chase down what you dream,
but if you get lost and lose yourself what does is really mean?
No matter where we’re going, it starts from where we are.
There’s more to life when we listen to our hearts and because of you, I’ve got the strength to start

We’re taking it back, we’re doing it here together!
It’s better like that, and stronger now than ever!
We’re not gonna lose. Cause we get to choose. That’s how it’s gonna be!

Everyday of our lives, wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight
Gonna run while we’re young and keep the faith
Everyday from right now, gonna use our voices and scream out loud
Take my hand; together we will celebrate.

>>May 9, 2008 at 4:04:27 AM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 7 日 星期三 【晴】

hi.

i'm back to the office now. having coffee and the energy bar..

yesterday was quite busy..
did lots of preparation for Alex's coming classes.. and i'm still working on that..
and then prepared for the coming phonics exam this weekend.. each page got something to revised..
then had lesson with Alex. he's okay... but he's just.. yea.. naughty.. and i talked with his mom about
my vacation. she is pretty okay.. i told her i am preparing some worksheets for Alex when i'm gone.

later on, i worked on some paper work, then... got an appointment with a family... the parents wanna
talk about their child about the performance at school and at our center and the other center.
and.. this family is my relative. humm its been so long i havent seen uncle actually.. almost a year?
since everything went wrong, we didnt really see him as often anymore.. of course including the
dinner gatherings in every big festivals or special days... he used to be some generous and funny
person. but then... family matter is the complicated issue.. so.. yea.. anyway.. yesterday i was a bit
suprised that he came with aunt and my cousin.. and theni saw him.. he looked a bit.... happier but
older, and quite obvious that he was wearing a very.... "Chinese men in 40s" look. so..... in Chinese it
is called very "Chang" but i dont know why he seems happy yesterday. a weird combanation.
i'm so sorry for that.. coz... it used to be a very happy family..

back home, resting and watching tv.. nice..
but then dad asked me if i am going to apply the master degree programme in HKU. i said i dont know..
i havent finished my bachelor yet.. still need to do my final research paper after summer.
i think.. quite many ppl want me to try... sorts of like... encouraging me.. hummm... i know....
i do consider on that actually.. so... see how things go... and i think i will apply more than one grad school.

i got attacked by a bird yesterday after lunch, outside the mall. hahaha.. i was a bit scared..
the bird came from behind, i felt something hit my head at the left... with a scream.. it's a bird i knew..
then it just took off. i looked back.. there was a black and white small bird flying to the stand.
i was like.... what happened? hahaha.. fortunately... no shit on my head hahaha.. and i wasnt injuried.
i called mom, and she said i should go get the Mark Six ticket. haha.. no.. i dont gamble.

you know what... this morning.. i read the newspaper that.. a 16 y.o. school girl got murdered and
cut in pieces, then threw in the sea. that school girl was actually some call-girl. and that school is
just 5 mins-walk down from my house. i saw my comunity pics on newspaper today.
it's kind of crazy, yea? that girl took marijuana offered by her clients.. then those guys forced her
to have 3P, and she refused. then those guys just killed her. it's crazy. 16 y.o. being a call girl..
HKG $1000 each call. so young but yea direct and fast way to earn money.. and this time got killed.
you know.. im sure the coming days, there would be some reporters ard our community.
ard 4 or 5 years back.. there was a girl from our high school killed at her home. the police suspected
on her boyfriend who was also from our school.. and the case was still not solved yet..
the police believed that the murderer and the girl knew each others, and that's why the girl opened
the door for him without struggling evidents at the scene. and then the girl body was on test, then
found that she had sex before she dead.. that's it.. from the video of the elevator... it showed some
guy looked like her boyfriend, who visited her before.. and no other guys.. but just dont know why
that guy has some witness showing he was not with her. and.. he was not charged afterward..
anyway.. i think nowadays.. the teens are getting crazy...

anyway... i was tired but couldnt sleep.. and today i am sooooooo sleepy.....
still got lots to work on before leaving.. good luck Castor..
good luck honey... good luck to my family and all my friends.

today is the 8th..

>>May 8, 2008 at 4:12:41 AM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 5 日 星期一 【晴】

hi.

i'm so sleepy.. i guess i would sleep soon.
last night i slept for almost 10 hrs, still didnt really wanna get up..

had dim sum with my parents at some resturant nearby home.. so we took a walk together..
then.. while we were seat, we met our neighbours the next table. ha.. ok.. hello..
it was okay.. they left earlier than me. =) hee. Mrs. Yeung ? she's very nice... =*)
but then... mom started a conversation with me afterward.. she is trying to convince me to take bracess.
Mrs. Yeung saw me... then she said i am beautiful.. and she was joking with my parents that they
should start worry since they have a beautiful daughter something like that.. then mom started asking me..
i told her no.. coz.... i am on student loan now, i dont wanna borrow money from anyone, coz i still
need to pay the loan after grad. actually, i cant imagine how much better i would look if i do take
bracess... and.. i just think... if i am rich or i have enough money, i might do that.. but now.. i'm thinking..
if i have extra money, i would just pay my student loan, and maybe save the money for later use..
you know.. it might be better if my both younger sisters could get the bracess. coz.. they are not 20s
yet.. and i am going ot be 22 this year.. so.. it might be better if my parents spend their money on them
in stead. and honestly... another reason is.. to be honest... i'm the oldest, and when my family was
a bit worthier than now befoer, i used to be a bit spoiled compared with my 2 sis, as in i have spent
my parents quite lots of money for all the school trips, the tuition fees for all, etc. my sisters dont get
as much now compared to my age in the past.. so... this is part of the reasons why i rather be on my
own for everything, coz i think i gotta be.. a bit more independent.. and i should be capable for that.
you know... even though being pretty is every girls wishes... and... without the extra help, i have been
pretty okay.. not perfect but still okay.... so... i guess i should just save the chance for my two younger
sisters in stead.

anyway... we took a walk after lunch, then did some shopping for dinner.. then picked up Leggy,
i stopped by the office... checked something.. then we went home together.. i rested and watched tv.
quite nice..

tomorrow i will get back to work again... gotta rush some flyers and stuffs... omg.. so many work to
do before i leave actually. then gotta write a memo for the teachers about my leave, gotta prepare the
lesson plans and materials for a sub teacher who would replace me to teach Alex.. and then yea..
the promotions and stuffs for summer course, now i'm on the track running for the final 100m. so..
haha... just gotta keep running, moving my butt. hahaha.. kidding.. but seriously.. if i dont finish my jobs
before leaving... Shan is gonna be mad at me. haha.. and yea.. before leaving.. i wanna take a few
pics with my students, maybe with some teachers as well.. then yea.. gotta take pics for the coming
new flyers and posters as well. just tonz of work to do.. and actually i wanna keep myself busy at the
office.. otherwise i would be soooo bored and lonely.. and... you know.... counting down back from the
10 days... i start to realize that yea.. i'm going over soon, and this is real. after a year, i am really seeing
him again..

today it's the 6th.. i still havent got honey's e-mail.. maybe no news is the better news. coz that means
no complication. i was supposed to fly over today, but i postponded my flight.. i would fly over on the 16th.

wish everything will be fine..

>>May 6, 2008 at 5:13:58 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 4 日 星期日 【晴】

hihi.

i'm not feeling well today.. headache..
i slept for ard 10 hrs last night, still didnt wanna get up...
i made some toast with jam, tea for lunch.. then prepared for the lesson..
made a few worksheets.. then heading to Prince Edward.
it was so stuffy outside..

it was okay, the students were okay. it was sweet of Andy.. he's a sweet boy.
his English is not as good as Fan, but he tries. and then.. ha.. after finished.. he usually wait for me
to leave with me. he walked me to the subway.. i asked him where he's going.. then he told me home.
i ususally chat with them a bit everytime before and after lesson.. then.. yea i asked him if he takes
subway to home. he said bus. then i just wondered if there any bus stops nearby.. but no.
then yea.. he left afterward. he's sweet =) i think he might make a sweet boyfriend when he grow
up a bit more. and you know sometimes it's interesting to see the teens growing.. coz... i was as
young as them, and that makes me think of my high school life hahaha...

back home, i didnt stop by the office.. i was very tired.. then.. i bought some fried chicken wings..
back home resting and ate some..

before dinner i just took a nap and i lost my apptitze.. cant eat..
dont wanna fall sick.





Jordin Sparks Lyrics

>>May 5, 2008 at 4:42:24 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 3 日 星期六 【晴】

hi.

today is a bit tiring..
i couldnt sleep though i have been quite tired.. i fell asleep ard 3 sth am... couldnt wake up on time..
i got up ard 9 sth then rushed checking mails and heading to Prince Edward..
hummmmm the lesson was okay, we all had fun. hahaha.. so funny them telling me about the cartoons
things.. so.. i promised them i would find some reading or news regarding Pocketmon, and the Powerpuff
Girls.. hahaha.. yup... and some phonics stuffs... i couldnt believe that they still like Pocketmon..
omg.. haha.. i dont understand.. i thought it was kind of out of date or i dont know what the teens up
to now.. i mean it's cartoons anyway, so.. i dont know at all. =) okay.. no problems.. they show me
how much they love cartoons.

after that, i went to TST to meet up aunt Priscilla.. we had lunch together... dim sum... then...
yea.. we did some shopping together at Mong Kok. thanks her.. coz i dont know how to do the barganing..
she did that for me.. HKD $ 30++ cheaper.. ha! nice... thanks... so.. i think i am pretty much done with
the shopping.. she wants me to help her passing something to her mom, granny. no problems.
i'm gonna visit her anyway.

Priscilla said.. it's soon for me to go.. i said no.. i dont feel like that.. i still feel it's kinda of..... like...
not that soon, i still have plenty of time.. but yea.. i gotta go to the bank to exchange the currency...
i guess... maybe coz honey wont be there when i go over, so.. i dont feel especailly
excited.. well at least... he's not coming to the airport to pick me up.. so... nothing as exciting...
then... i guess it would be more exciting if i arrived at his door and no one open the door for me.. *touch wood*
or say... i would be so excited to see him again to welcome him home? =)
hummmm...

then... i went back to Tai Po by myself.. then met Shan and Choi.. i went to Shan's home...
being the model for her. ha.. Cinderella... it was quite funny.. we joked a bit... then i also told her about
what's going on and how i think.. then we talked a bit about the work as well.. she knows me the best.

back home resting.. watching tv.. funny show.. then yea after dinner was playing UNO with my sister,
Leggy.. it was so funny... she was so sneaky. haha... so bad.. we both hold many "draw 2/ draw4"
cards.. and we were playing on that.. and at the end i got 14 extra cards ! that was my new record! haha!
then the next round... i got 26 extra cards from that ! we were laughing so loud. it's like WHAT?!
what the heck ?! omg, 26 cards?! haha..
how many rounds we have played? ard 6 or 7 i guess. haha she wins more.

then yea.. tomorrow.. i will have class in the afternoon.. so gotta prepare a bit..

today is okay... i tried to relax and not to think about the problems.. but i know that doesnt help much..
then i think of Karen.. she said.. the happiness is not given by others but in your own control.
like... i can choose to be happily living my day or just having my day. well.. i'm learning to live a happy
life, so i guess i would just gotta remind myself that not to care about others too much...
i'm not lying to myself, i do know the problems, but just it's not something i can control... and the thing
is... why should i care that much since i dont wanna loose my cool, and i 'm definitely not losing myself
for such things. you know... i gotta face these... and it depends on me, how i am facing these..
i do have the choice. isnt that great? i actually have the choice =) wow, suddenly the sky is so blue hahaha..
just kidding.. but i guess at least that would make me feel a little bit better, so i'm not diving down and down.
i wish that girl would be fine soon, i hope she would let go, and the lesson is done for everyone.

i'm wiating for honey's e-mail.. dont know how he's doing there.. hope he can rest more there, hope
he has good time there =) i miss him, and i'm looking forward to seeing him again, hee. i want him back
soon... really.. and.. i wish his familly well too.

i wanna relax abit more tomorow..
it's been a tiring and lonely week.

May God Bless us All.

>>May 5, 2008 at 3:38:21 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 2 日 星期五 【晴】

hello...

today was kind of crazy when i first got back to the office..
i had coffee.. so i was awake.. and.. it was the caios there. i was kind of pissed at May, then Ella.
it's like.. what? what's going on? havent you prepared for your own class? anway problems solved.

humm it was busy this morning, then turn to be boring..
i had lunch with my family.. i bought a pair of earrings for mom.. be lated birthday and early mother
day to mom.. she's happy. she likes the earrings. then.. humm got back to the office.

many parents chatting with me, then... the kids as well.. got lots of work to do actually..
then all the kids are holding a small bottle with the small eggs inside. they called it like the "Crystal Baby".
it's actually ... raising the eggs in the water, the eggs would grow bigger after absobing water..
then they would stick together, like female and male, then they would give birth to the new egg.
i was so attracted, i found it so funny.. so i go to the next store.. and i bought one.. ha... i had fun
holding it in my hands.. it's kindda funny.. it really grows bigger, i tested it when after dinner at home
just now.. then yea.. the kids said they would exchange with me. coz.. in each bottle, there are more
than 10 eggs. hahah yea plz.. fun. especially when they are so into this, they would show you how
happy and satisfied with seeing them growing.. and their parents are smiling as well, like.. oh look..
the kids are so innocent, they really believe in these eggs. ha.. for me it's like.. oh yea, it's really funny
and i really dont understand how these work.. so i'm so curious with the kids... ha.. see what my
babies will turn out to be like =) as pretty as me?? ha.. auntie Candy said i would be a good mom. ha...
thanks. well we will see...

kids shared her food with me today.. she had cooking lessons =)
she made mango mochi last time.. she would share me the recipe ! YAY! it was soooo tasty..
then.. this time she made noughut. sooo yummy!

this afternoon... some gangs are outside our center inside the mall for almost 3 hrs..
i was kindda scared.. but then.. i didnt dare to call the management.. coz.. i dont want them come back
at us.. but then lucky that finally the securety guards came... he told them if they dont leave then the
management team would call the police.. then... yea.. saw that old man too.. arhhh.. i just dont give
any responses to him.. he stares at me with smile.. that made me very uncomfortable..

i did lots of work these two days... and also prepared my own lessons.. humm its ok...

tomorrow i will have a lesson to teach in the morning.. then.. i would meet up aunt Priscilla..
would have lunch with her, then also need sometime to get something for my teachers, friends,
honey and his mom..yea.. i m not gonna spend much money on these, i cant.. but still wanna get them
some cheap but nice chinese gifts. i guess it's not about the price but i really wanna bring them
something indifferent.

anyway..i know that today in the HK time.... honey is flying to there...
i wish him a safe trip and enjoy the trip. i miss him badly still.. i really want him.

today it's May 3... i will fly over on the May 16..

再難的日子也過了, 現在的不算什麼.
actually.. i would never deny on the tough days... even now...
just that i think i have passed the more difficult days before, and so now i am stronger and i would survive.

i wanna talk with someone... there are something i dont understand.. Alesja said... i am just too easy
affected by some ppl, and i shouldnt care too much.. coz i dont know what intention the ppl have.
Alesja doesnt want me sad, she doesnt want me unhappy coz of what the others say or do to me
sth like that. but i dont know... if the other person keep trying to influence you.. and somehow you
are scared and cant do anything at all, then what? escape or fighting back? you know i'm not the kind
of person who would take revenge or someting like that to hurt ppl for feeling better...
all the thing i could do is just to pretend that i'm strong.. but.. i'm fear inside. it's not about the confident..
but it's like... come on i'm so tired.. it's not a battle that i want. it's nothing at all.
it's like why, why it has to be like this.. i'm so tired. i just dont belong to this kind of stuffs.. i dont wanna
be in the games, dont wanna be in the fight.. dont wanna be compared with the other girls.
i'm just me, ok? i'm Castor Lau. and for that girl, leave me alone, leave us alone please.
i cant just walk away, and i dont wanna just leave.. but i'm so tired..

>>May 3, 2008 at 4:19:32 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 1 日 星期四 【晴】

Making Memorries of Us- Keith Urban



I'm gonna be here for you baby
I'll be a man of my word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I wanna sleep with you forever
And I wanna die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother
I wanna learn from your pa
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw
I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

We'll follow the rainbow
Wherever the four winds blow
And there'll be a new day
Comin' your way

I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll win your trust making memories of us

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

back to the office.
the oylimpic torch relay begin in HK this morning.. i watched tv before back to the office.
it was quite fun out there in TST i guess. so many ppl.. i saw Andy Lau, Leo Ku, Kelly Chan, Alex Fong.
haha. i love Hong Kong. i wanted to wear red today, but then... it seems quite weird to do this in Tai Po.
coz.. i dont think ppl would do this here.

back to the office, Ella left me a looooooong memo on the log book. sooooo many work to do..
quite crazy.. i am having lots of coffee now.. but somehow it's nice to engage in the challenging work.

omg that man just came again.
he comes everyday now. i think he has some sorts of issues in his life that he had never let go of.
and now, he repeats his words again and again to others, to gain back the respect he had wanted.
he tried to find the ppl who shared similar background as he thinks that he could trust and show them
the pride of his life but at the same time, actually just the way to express how harsh experience he
had been through, and his repressed emotion. i m so sorry for him.. and.. i think he would keep doing
this untill he died or till someday when his issued solved. it's the best for him to recieve some social
services to meet new ppl, and at the same time he might need some professional ppl to talk with.
however, i dont wanna be that person, coz here my work is not about social work, and defintely
i am not on internship or something like that. i hope him get help from the right ppl, not me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday, i hang out with Sheilla since afternoon till night..
i finally didnt meet aunt Priscilla. coz the girl didnt show up.
anyway... we had lunch at Delefrance in TST East. quite relaxing.. great view and peaceful.. not expensive..
we had a long lunch, listening to her with food.. then... we walked to HMV.. we spent time searching
for some vcd and checked out new movies.. then... yea.. we did some window shopping.. got chatting
and had a drink from Hui Lau Shan.. the Cantonese "bubble tea" place.. then... had dinner at McDonald's
at the Star House.. yea the place i used to work at MacDonald's. =) i saw the manager, and she still
recognizes me =) then.. yea.. mostly listening to her. she's so funny.. but then.. yea.. i hope she will
be fine somehow with that guy.. then we hang out at the book store, Page One. it was okay... we
read and found some fun books and stuffs for kids. haha.. anyway, we didnt buy anything..
but we arrange for the next time that we would have dinner together at some resturant inside the
Harbour City. she likes that place. fine =) wait for me when i'll be back from Van. she said i gotta be
back soon.. i told her no.. i m not sure if i wanna be back soon ! haha..

on the way home.. i was a bit sad.. i was listening to the songs from honey... i just miss him much..
and then yea, after home, i was very tired i didnt do my diary here, but posting the song here i really miss.
it just reminds me lots of memorries with him. so by every sentences of the lyrics, tehre got scences
on my mind. i guess everyone got their own story and picture in life with their important behalf..
i dont think it's easy to let others understand what they are, and i dont want to. the only ppl should
know must be me and honey, unless... there would be some sorts of sharing in the wedding.. but...
it's something i am not so sure at the moment now. it's like what Sheila asked me... when we are
getting married.. i told her i dont know.. girl should just wait for the guy to pop that question, right?
we do have some little proposal =) and that's how i got the ring haha...
and that's also why i am wearing it everyday from the day i have recieved it. yea... i think.. my wedding
might not be that soon since... honey hasnt really proposed.
she asked me if i wanna get married.. of course i do.. and i'm waiting for him =) ha.
i just think girl should wait for the guy to pop that question.

the song from honey means so much to me..
i wonder... what if it comes true to me... then... it could be one of the most important and happiest
moment in my life. and he would be the only one ever happened in my life since my life begins till the end.

alright.. i gotta get back to work. so many stuffs to do.

>>May 2, 2008 at 5:02:57 AM GMT+8

2008 年 4 月 29 日 星期二 【晴】

hi.

Castor is back to work.
i slept ard 1 sth am last night, too tired.. then i got up at 9am.. so sleepy still..
i got to be back to the office at 10, first lesson starts at 10 30.. i am having lots of coffee this morning.
got some chat with Carole... then started working. nothing much to do at the office this morning.

yesterday i was resting, watching tv, had lunch with my parents.. then did some shopping for dinner,
i took a bag of recycling bottles to The Body Shop. then got the refund from Esprit for the last purchase.
i went to the accessroy store to change my hair pin. i bought 2 on Sun, one was broken after i was
home trying to put them on hahaha.. so yea.. it was actualyl cute but cheap, HKD 4 each. then... i went
to the laundry place to take my white jacket back.. but... the stain is still there. sigh.. what a big waste..
i love that jacket.. i dont know.. try to find some help from others i guess..

back home started playing the Simpson vcd, funny. then... got on line checking mails again... and Shan told me
the office was lack of teachers. i knew it at the morning when i got up, Shan mesged me.. but then..
yea, i helped calling teachers, and they didnt reply. so.. Shan asked me if i could help out. so.. i gotta
get back to the office less than 30 mins after i was home preparing my jello and watching Simpson.
hummmm..
it was still ok.. i took a taxi there and prepare a bit before the kids came.. then yea, the girls are smart..
it was okay.. then after that, talked with Shan a bit then i walked home again.

tomorrow would be the public holiday again, YAY!!!!! =)
humm i remember Sheila would meet me.. actually i tried to arrange since.... 1 month ago.. at that time
i said to her, oh... it's still has a month to go before we would actually meet. and oh yea, tmr we would
meet up.. does she still rmemeber? haha. gotta ring her later. then aunt Priscilla wanna meet me as well.
she said she wanna introduce me Terrence's girlfriend. hahaha... i knew this girl actually.. well i dont
really knwo her, but she's my old senior highschool mate's close friend in Van.. i just didnt know that
she's Terrence's girlfriend. this world is so small hahaha. i havent seen Terrence since i left Van in 2005.
so yea... if he's coming back to HK, maybe we can meet up with his girlfriend as well.

just now, a student dropped me some candies haha. lovely boy.. =)
but that new strange old man still came bugging at me and now Shan as well.. i saw him a few times
on Mon when i was back to the office chatting with Shan.. and also yesterday. urhhhhhhhh...

anyway.. i miss my honey. we have been through so many things together.. everytime when i think
of him and the things we have got through, i just wanna... tell him how much i miss him and how much i
love him. actually, i am still in love with him and i'm waiting for him. i dont speak too much him.. only
once awhile... i know he's too busy.. sometimes i would ask myself if this is reasonable, yea absolutely.
it's acceptable, but not what i would be happy of. maybe he knows, maybe he doesnt. but at this
moment... if all he needs is the time and support... i guess i would give him this kind of space as much
as i can so that he could do and complete what he should go for himself. i dont want him regret later
on his life, and i do hope him sucess in future. i dont know how much he understands me at this point,
how much he knows about my heart and trust in him... i just wish that he gets all i have been giving
and, he would appreciate the love and support ever happened in his life not only from me but others too,
and he would take all them as part of the strengths to keep himself moving forward. it's sounds
strange for me to write them down here but not in words to him.. he might not even know about i have
this kind of thought... i want to find a way to let him know, but since he's been so busy and stuffs..
i dont find many chances that we could both open up more.

anyway.. i gotta stop thinking about this.. coz beside, i still gotta prepare my lesson plan and materials
for my students. maybe i can multi-task well..
okay.. work hard, study hard, live hard Castor =)

>>April 30, 2008 at 5:14:22 AM GMT+8

2008 年 4 月 27 日 星期日 【晴】

hi there castor..

today was okay. i slept late then woke up late....
rushing to leave home having dim sum with my parents and Miki..
then Miki and i walked home.. we sang on the way home.. haha.. we passed through the park..
we got hom and played songs.. we sang with the CD. i guess she was happy singing out loud.
haha it was kindda crazy but good for her to let the stress out and cheer up a bit..
we also watched our fav cartoon, The Powerpuff Girls.. we sang that song again and again hahaha!
it was so strong and cheerful, so nice for her.. haha... it reminds me lots of the silly sides of us..
and i did make it as my presentation topic when i was studying in VPC. i got an A for it. hahaha...
tmr she will have the Chemistry exam, yea the HKCEE. wish her good luck !

i didnt go to school sitting in tonight, i just wanna rest. i went to Prince Edward to teach.. one was
missing again. sigh. it was okay, but he was just too tired. after that, i went back to Tai Po, i went
back to the office chatting with Shan. some about work, some are just normal chat..
we were supposed to meet up yesterday actually, but she was too busy at church, so yea..
doesnt matter, we can arrange the other time.. we had chips together.. ha... quite relaxing yea?
yea sounds quite relaxing on Monday, lovely Monday, i like it.

we walked home together... she asked me what i'm gonna do after grad. we talked on that..
i told her my concerns and worry.. then.. she mentioned something very important to me that really
made me think... so yea, very thankful to her actually =)

then yea.... watching tv tonight. i missed the last episode of Ni Tuck... i didnt know tonight was the
last episode. i thought Christian was settling down with Michelle since Kimburg was married with Matt.
actually Michelle has been hiding up lots of things behind him.. then Kimburg married Matt just coz
she wants to get back at Christian. poor Sean finally being single again, Julia really left him..
from the Season 1, i have been liking Sean and Julia, coz this couple has been more normal as a stable
family.. but then... Sean cheated on Julia, and then Julia has cheated on Sean right before the wedding.
and so Matt was actually Christian's son not Sean's. and after so many things happened... Sean has been
drifting away from being a good husband and good dad. he got into some sorts of crisis. and..
they got devoiced and back together and now seperated again. whoooooo... it's a drama.

anyway... this time... is a bit suprising me.. coz.. finally, the main two characters are getting normal
again.. Sean left Miami, then Christian eventually quitted with Michelle.. they both sold out the share,
then started over at Hollywood. i'm looking forward to the new episode. hee.
the song at the ending was kindda touching my heart.. coz.. it's the whole big reflection of everyone's
real mind and real feelings, after all these things had been living with them. this drama was quite...
complicated and now... ppl are getting real. and it actually reflects the ppl in the real world...
are you really happy with your life? what are you trying to do for yourself and... is it really what you
want, or its just like... trying to get stuffed for the emptyness?
what is the real content in life?

for me... it's like... ... . i know what i want, but everything seems so far away and i just need the
strengths to keep me walking. i need the faith and courage.. i need the chance..
work and study... future... i guess.... i guess my true future is not only about work and study..
i should need something more satisfying beside the career path. i would want my own family with my honey.
anyway yea.. honey's leaving town soon.. dont know if he has got my post yet... hummmm..
i miss him lots.


"Brighter Discontent"


The Submarines
Got a brand new roof above my head
All the empty boxes thrown away
I rearranged the place
A hundred times today
But the ordering of objects
Couldn't hide what's missing

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

Got myself a bottle of red wine
Got a night of nothing else to do
I think I might know
What I really want
But is a brighter discontent
The best that I could hope to find?

Got a big black television set
Now I can watch just what I want
But I'm here staring up
At pictures on the wall
And where are you,
You're still stuck inside them all

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

But love is not these belongings
That surround me
Though there's meaning
In the memories they hold
A breaking heart in an empty apartment
Was the loudest sound I never heard

Got a desk I'll write myself a note
Pretending that it came from you
On hotel stationary
From the time we first met
Whatever I can do cause
I won't throw my hands up yet

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

But love is not these belongings
That surround you
Though there's meaning
In the memories they hold
A breaking heart in an empty apartment
Was the loudest sound I never heard

Well I'll be find if
I dont look around me now
Too much for what's gone
If only I can wait here just a little while
And let time pass in my room

>>April 28, 2008 at 6:54:31 PM GMT+8

2008 年 4 月 26 日 星期六 【晴】

hello.

Castor was working and bored at the office...
today was supposed to be my day off, but i got a job in the morning..
okay.. let me try to update a bit.. so many things and ppl i've seen and met.

On Friday... it was actually quite boring but still okay.

yesterday, i wore the blue dress, which i got last year for my bday. it wasnt some pricy dress..
i just found it nice and easy, i got it from Mong Kok Center last year.. everyone knows i dont shop
at there, coz of the quality and the cutting... just not nice...
but that time was kind of lucky to have found this dress. and it's unbelivably cheap...
but then i took it to fix the width. i want it slimmer. and after that, i just find this dress really nice =)
anyway.. i dont usually wear this, but yesterday. coz after work, i went to Causeway Bay to meet
my schoolmates, hahaha.. yea.. the buddies from UIU.

this dress made me some little embarassment yesterday. at first, the teachers asked me if i had a date
after work.. then.. thanks for the compliments that Ella, May, and Sophia gave me =) i dont mind.
then.... the parents.. thanks for saying i m pretty and sexy. and... i guess actually coz of this.... got some
weird sight from some strangers, the men. some old man came talking to me at the office.
i recognized him always inside the mall talking loudly with his pals. and this time he came talking to me..
3 times at different time. once was shocking me, coz when i was walking out the office to get some
lunch he suddenly appeared, just blocked my way. i stood there listening to him..
anyway... that means i should never wear too nice or sexy to work, coz the ladies would stare and
the "golden fishmen" would give you some uncomfortable sight. i guess i would get back to the shirt
and skirt days.

sometimes i feel happy when the ppl call me "sugarplum" or "candycane", but... at the same time..
it just makes me shy.. it's like... okay, actually it's okay if you know that person... it could be like some
sweet compliments. but what if some ppl like the ppl who worked at the next stores who usually dont
talk with you? i would prefer them... asking for my name politely. and actually there are more ppl asking
for my name these days, i mean for those parents and students who used to call me miss only.
it's kind of nice of them finally would call my name or at least last name instad of just miss. but yea...
instead of calling me "pretty", i guess "Castor" sounds much better.

last night was kind of funny.. at first i went to the resturant to meet them.. then we were heading to
the cafe. we played lots of diff games.. omg.. i was so stupid at games! hahaha... i always lost.. and..
the girls help me out, thanks Agnes Lam, and Karen Ho.. hahahaha.. and then Victo was sitting oppo
to me, and he always lost as well.. and all the girls just kept joking on him. poor boy hahahaha...
but coz he's the youngest among all of us... he's only 18.. and he didnt mind.. ha... okay..
it was qutie funny. then i left with Agnes Lam, coz we both live in Tai Po. she's so talkative.. and
she's really nice. haha.. i do admire ppl like my buddies, so smart on games. i'm just stupid. haha..

today, i worked for an hour at Prince Edward, then i went to T.S.T. to meet aunt Priscilla..
we had dim sum together, we walked around.. we chatted lots... i was looking for something for my
teachers in Van.. i mean Lisa and Joy.. and also Carrie.. and then yea, honey's mom as well..
Priscilla is looking for something for her mom. this time, i would have lots of free time.. so.. i guess...
i would visit her mom, the granny once or twice a week. granny is very friendly. she was very nice
to me. when i was still there living with my aunt, we met sometimes.. and everytime she would talk
to me and laughed a lot.. then she would keep forcing me to eat more and more.. hahaha.. she's very
nice and happy. she would talk to me about some funny stories and some stories about little Priscilla..
she is now living alone, and she's sick.. so.. this time when i go over, perhaps i could spend some
time with her, maybe helping her housework, do some cooking with her, shopping with her..
especially before honey's back home. i would have plenty of time to visit diff ppl.. like my friends and
teacheres, and of course granny, and aunt Debbie. i hope i could visit VPC as well. i knew there're
many many changes, and i want to go back there to have a look. i miss my school there a lot..
and i miss the hotdog right in front of the Chapters at West broadway. and... i would ... you know..
i would miss the days i had with my friends there before.. and this time i would be on my own there.
i hope that i could meet up with Kiana. coz.. she was my another best friend at VPC before.
i wonder if Ayako would like to be friends with me... i hope she would. coz... i dont know.. last year,
we didnt have lots of time to get together. i invited her to have sushi lunch with me, but she was busy
at that time, so yea.. i like her actually. so.. this time especiall before honey's back, i hope that we can
have sometime to get to know each otehrs a bit. i hope honey would be back soon.. coz.. the main
reason why i go over is coz of him.. so i would be waiting for him and i really hope that he could be back early.

anyway, i came back to Tai Po... to meet my parents. we shopped for dinner, then back home..
i bought a cartoon vcd, Japanese Shin Jang.. haha that naught boy.. so funny... we watched it in the
dinner time. we laughed a lot.

i woke up at 9 am this morning.. i was very sleepy.. but then i got time to walked ard the supermarket,
Taste at the Festival Walk. i bought some apple juice, then i went to Prince Edward. my students, those
two boys were late again. sigh. then... yea.. we read poem today, and then we did some phonics
practice... then we read a short story on the Readrer's Digest. then.. they told me they like songs..
and so funny one of them was trying to show me his hip hop dance. hahahaha... even though he was
just faking it, it was so funny. so.. i told them tomorrow i would prepare some listening practice beside
phonics.. i would bring a cd, and prepare some exercise about the lyrics. i need them to practice the
prounonciation. i'm not perfect of course. i'm not the native speaker.. and that's why i got paid so less,
and why this bad center hired me. for me, i dont consider myself as any great native teacher of course,
but i would try my best, to have fun time with my students in English.. let them have more confidence
and fun in speaking english. so yea.. i guess that's what i should do, and so far i think i'm doing a really
great job. i think i'm not teaching but more like helping.

aunt Priscilla asked me today if i wanna continoue my studies.. i told her i might. i'm actually considering
on it... since some of my schoolmates, who were grad last year, the senior ones, they have been
working in the psychology feild and planing for the master degree programme, i do wanna give a try..
sigh.. just that... i dont know if i would be taken.. you know... even on an F.7 standard interview i
wasnt taken of the Korean Air, i am not sure if i'm actually be able to pass the application for the
master degree. it sounds very negative of me, but... i dont know.. i would give a try again at Cathay
Pacific after grad... i hope i would be taken by then.. actually.. there's another reason.. it's coz....
honey and i dont have a clear plan for the coming years. so it's kind of difficult to plan with so many
uncertain wills. hummm i guess... i just need to do my parts, then God would just give me the best..
coz He's never too late, never too early, never too less or much. it would be just on time for the best.
it's like... it's the way it always be. like all the love and suprises... they're always the best.

"Everyday of our lives, wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight."
i wanna find him there, i wanna hold on tight with him... yea.. the man that i love.
They say that you should follow and chase down what you dream, but if you get lost and lose yourself
what does is really mean? No matter where we're going, it starts from where we are.
There's more to life when we listen to our hearts and because of him, I've got the strength to start..


here's a song...
High School Musical 2 - Everyday



Once in a lifetime
means there’s no second chance
so I believe that you and me
should grab it while we can

Make it last forever
and never give it back
It’s our turn, and I’m loving’ where we’re at
Because this moment’s really all we have

Everyday of our lives, wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight
Gonna run While we’re young and keep the faith

Everyday
From right now, gonna use our voices and scream out loud
Take my hand; together we will celebrate, celebrate.

Oh, ev’ryday. They say that you should follow
and chase down what you dream, but if you get lost and lose yourself

what does is really mean?
No matter where we’re going,
it starts from where we are.
There’s more to life when we listen to our hearts
and because of you, I’ve got the strength to start

Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Everyday of our lives, wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight
Gonna run while we’re young and keep the faith.

Everyday
from right now, gonna use our voices and scream out loud
Take my hand; together we will celebrate,

Oh, ev’ryday
We’re taking it back, we’re doing it here together!
It’s better like that, and stronger now than ever!

We’re not gonna lose.‘Cause we get to choose.
That’s how it’s gonna be!

Everyday
of our lives, wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight.
Gonna run while we’re young And keep the faith Keep the faith!

Everyday
of our lives, wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight.
Gonna run while we’re young and keep the faith

Everyday
from right now, gonna use our voices and scream out loud
Take my hand; together we will celebrate,

Ev’ryday!
Live ev’ry day!
Love ev’ryday!
Live ev’ryday!
Love ev’ryday!
Ev’ryday!

>>April 27, 2008 at 6:14:06 PM GMT+8