today morning... i was to school, my only school.
i know the only thing i wanna say is thankyou.
and... i'll give all the blessing for my homeplace, for my schooldad.
i try to tell myself to take it easy...
however, i find... it's too hard.
i'm cring now ... schooldad talks with me today...
will it be the last talk in school?
miss law said to me... she feels ... it's so completcated feelings.
we tears down together.
schooldad,...even put me inside his brain , he still encourage me...
i fell so touching and... i just tears down...
i talk less, just listen to him... coz i know i 'll got few chances to listen to his teach..
he shares his story with me... be sure on me...encourage me...
he's the president of our school...how to ...how to...find someone to displace him?
i know he and his family need some space, time to live anew.
so... the blessing and the pray is ... the most important.
i do wont forget what schooldad tell me, what he encourage me.
they're all my life tutors... no them, me lost.
wherever they go, they will get our blessing and they'll live inside me forever.
Today is my family day...
I'm so happy coz the day is relax.
we have the rice wrapped for lunch, then i study and watch tv " the iron giant"
after that, i play the piano... then we go out for dinner.
however, we go to jusco to get some cool drinks... hk becomes much hotter.
then we back to home to watch tv again~
i record the tv series " 24 " for dennis and also for myself.
it's very nice series! and i got the phone call from King Kun. He told me about the news from church.
well, he invites me to join the new group... ai ... i dont know what to do.
just pray ...
and, tomorrow i will work.
perhaps it wont be too tired. coz after work, i still have to study for the test on Thus.
then i have an article on Fri, and the fchd test on Sat. This time, Fchd would be a hard job.
oh no ... i feel so hard with it. it's not easy to deal with.
and i know queenie is coming soon... welcome she backs !
hum,.... she 's worried about the changes after back. it could be accepted ; understood.
well, just pray for her as well =)
however, i have pray for chris and his girlfriend, although i dont know the girl's name.
it sounds good. still fine. i'm not that nervous... maybe what i need is just an answer.
and i got it already.
yea ... i feel much better now =)
and wait for the next one comes, perhaps wont be hurted again ..
haha...
ai ... the most concern is the study plan for futher.
i'm going to make an appointment for tofel on the end of july.
it's stressing, coz not much time to prepare. i will meet tracy for those pratcise books and exercise
with some tapes on this Sat.
perhaps i can make that appointment on this Fri. let see how the situation will be.
i have to take the tofel before Aug. the dead line would be at the begin of Aug.
perhaps the tofel would be held on the last week of july.
however, after tofel, i have to plan more detail on the studies.
hum ... yes. i know jesus will give me the best.
what i need is to wait, have faith in him and let Him strenghten myself =)
Oh Jesus Lord ! The glory is all for you .
What you give me is the best, What you tell me is truth.
Who i can trust is only you.
my family love me so much, my dear friends love me so much.
but ... love is from God.
we could love, coz He loves us first.
May Jesus would company me till the end of this world.
>>June 22, 2004 at 6:17:22 PM GMT+8
2004 年 6 月 20 日 星期日 【晴】
Hello...
ON last Sat, i went to work at morning, i got up at 5: 30...
i shaped my hair, put on uniform, and that high heeled shoses.
haha....
the right heel broke before arrived. oh my god... and the shoses made me blood.
oh no... that day is a very important day!
coz the executive level people come around. however,
that day i did very well, sankie say she will give me a pin. haha... thz
that day, not many people come to our cafe. but i service each customer well.
i still remember that day there're some people are from other countries.
i chat with them, they gave me ana mccafe many advice, i felt so nice.
the responding are very well. i know someday when they come again, they'll still recognize me.
Afterward, i went to ma on shan, the way by foot is very hurt.
it takes about 30 mins to walk to my grandpa's house from the bus station.
but i used to walk around 10 mins. haha.... i almost wanna cry at that time, coz really hurt!!!
anyway, on sunday, suposed i have to work, but i take a leave, coz i cant walk outside .
i cant put on any shoses, even the sleepers.
so... haha... i know it's bad, coz just change my uniform, they need me but i just cant work~ haha.
today it's better already. still can walk.
anyway, today after school, i go sha tin to take my ear pierces again!
now, totally i got three. two on my right ear, one on my left.
so nice. dark purple , and water blue. the other one is the light black.
nice nice~! haha..
anyway... i will have two tests and one writing report in this week. i got to study hard la...
ai~ perhaps all will be fine~
something just obviously that should be hanged into jesus's hands.
it tells me i shouldnt have too much carries.
i should have faith in god.
in friendship, i feel hard with joey recently...
i dont know the problems... but i just say something here...
i've questioned her before.. i asked her something privately, and it tells me...
it's her own charater, i dont gona require her for changing anything for anyone.
i just can accept her difficults, her thoughts, her feelings, her needs, but i cant give her the things
she want. it's stressing.
i cant always stay with her actually... coz i have my own charater too.
sometimes i just dont have that patience.
i wanna keep that relationship with her, i've tried...
but seems like still need more time for us.
anyway, relationship is the thing for life. we still have long time to go... so i'm not hurry for what.
let it be.
in these days, i've slept much... i find that i love sleeping actually.
sleeping can relax myself.
when wake up, you would find you'd forget the stressing, but strengthen your energy!
no more moody~ heehee~
sleeping can solve problems~ haha.
>>June 21, 2004 at 1:10:46 PM GMT+8
2004 年 6 月 17 日 星期四 【晴】
Today i have my writing class.
The most enjoyable class actually.
most serious subject for me.
well, nice lesson.
today i get up ... i feel so tired, but still have enough time to have breakfast...
when i wake up, my sister just come back from school. she takes the last sub exam today.
after school, i find i got many many calls from different people.
well, sankie call me, that 's the most concern one.
i call her back... she ask me for help.
finally i go mcdonald's for help.
well, tomorrow McCafe grand opening... heehee~ and i 'm going to change my uniform tomorrow!!!
so excited!
sunday is the fatherday...
i have to work ... just like the motherday~ haha...
anyway...
i'll be quite tired i know. coz busy works must be.
today kenny told me our Stat class would be changed on Sunday instead of Monday.
Oh shit... how could be like that huh?
by the way, i'm considering changing the class secertly.
i gotta ask Alex for help. coz ... sunday i have to work, that must be absolutely tired man ...
ai ....
however, i'm quite fine today.
dont have much things to worry about.
i just carry on my life. never stop for whom, never stop for what.
i have to rest, as much as possible.
last night, i talk with junming. i told him i got some news to tell, but dont know it's good or bad.
of course that news is from chris. That's i wanna tell him we're friend again,
but he makes me cry again... i wanna tell junming those, but i didnt.
i dont see anything i have to be concerned on maybe.
i was hoping him would come to talk to me again, coz i thought he'd never be my friend anymore.
but ... while i feel so disappointed, he appears. is that good or not.
maybe there's no exactly right or wrong. we 're just making choices everyday.
last time, he chose to be seperate, and met a new one, chose to come talk to me...
last time, i chose to be patient, but hurt, i chose to escape from god, chose to be a tough girl,
chose to be .... lot of thngs, dont ask for help, face all by myself. dont talk, dont play, dont say.
dont cry in front of anyone. but how about now?
am i going to chose the same way?
nope.
i wanna tell myself... i have to be brave, although this guy hurt me again and again...
i'm not going to be a weak girl in this time. i wont escape from god, from him, from my friends.
i would stand up and tell you all loudly, i'm still what i'm.
i will sing songs, dancing, for celebrating you're gone out from my life.
i'd have a new life, coz getting through with you. if you're really that lasting one for me, finally i 'd got you,
but dont need to do anything, you'd be back to be mine.
but now, i dont see anything 'd be happening soon.
or it would never happen~ well... who cares?
God maybe~ haha... anyway. if he's happy, i'm going to follow him~ be smiling =)
i have to make choice for myself this time...
so...
i dont gonna wait for you.
i cry, is for myslef, not for anyone.
take care castor. =)
take care guys.
>>June 18, 2004 at 5:21:16 PM GMT+8
2004 年 6 月 16 日 星期三 【陰】
Today i havent been to school,
i went out with shan.
last night chris come to talk to me.
finally i see him on line. we talk about 2 hrs.
he explain again and again... it makes me worse.
i have forgiven him already, since the day i thought he would never be my friend anymore.
perhaps he would have good life with her, that's enough.
he asks for blessing... i gave... i have given. he asks for prayng,
yes, i did. we prayed together last night.
"last night i prayed the lord my soul to keep, when i cry myself to sleep
so sure life wouldnt go on without you, the morning sun is blinding me,
as it wakes me from the dark. i guess the world didnt stop for my broken heart."
honestly, i was a little bit stressed when talking to him.
i wanna protect myself in front of him. but i didnt. i put off all the evil anger.
i tried hard to be patient and stop the tears.
i dont know it's nice or not to be greeted by him again.
coz ... i'm a bit confused by myself. however, i still can laugh when we talk,
i still could give the blessing out although i was crying.
when i prayed ...... i i cant hide up myself in front of God. He knows me,
it's so tough and hurt.
chris said sorry again and perhaps a lot of things... well, all is accepted.
all is past , sorry is nothing for me. it couldnt help much now.
what i respond is that since the day he left, he's out of the game, he may leave.
he feels asshame about lefting me onself to face all? i'm still fine right?
i dont need him to explain what now. i can handle it well.
when i needed him to support me, he ran away, as the strenger, keeping distance from me.
i tried hard to be his friend, he refused. But Now, he comes to say hi... should i be supposed to be
very supprised? very happy? but sorry, no ... i am not. it's meaningless.
i just want him to be good, enjoy his life. and of course be well with his new girlfriend.
i've done my best...
he worries about i couldnt get over with him ... well, it's not his business anymore.
we're friend only. Be sure that someday i will fall with someone when the time is right.
i dont deny that i still miss him sometimes, maybe as a friend. But i believe that i miss the days before
more than the person--him. i was very happy and fortunate. smile is my rights.
now ... i'm confused in love by religous. so ... it's kinda pianful.
but i still have faith in God... recently i can hear more what God's telling me...
it's the glory from God. Thanks for God.
It takes 4 months to be firneds, take one month to be couples, 8 months to be strangers...
finally now, be friends again. one year ......
hum.... i've knew all the truth from his mouth ... and i have tried to accept all, give the blessing...
whatelse i can do more?
i dont know... i just want to calm down myself... settle well.
perhaps no more tears... and i can really get through it.
Here used to be called Shmoo Sassy Rowdyruff's page. It was a random name i got from The Powerpuff Girls' site. however, i am not that little girl anymore. i'm learning how to live a life now. haha! and this is the pic of my 22nd year in my life, taken in the summer of 2008.
here is like my reference, my history, my story, and the little pieces of memorries in my life. someday when i get old, maybe i would just review my life again. or i can share with my close ones... would they miss me someday? i dont know. i just wanna live my life fully and happily =) with the ppl i love on this planet.
hi =)
要講你知 你的意義 每當我的心肝跳一次
今天回校測驗~~~
你好~
Someone who know