2004 年 8 月 11 日 星期三 【綿綿細雨】

今日,係"夏日蒲一蒲"既outing~我地約左0830響金鐘鐘樓等~我無late,yeah~michelle今日都以advisor既身分黎左~cyrena=華華姐姐,就好late呀~帶左d暈浪丸俾michelle~大家初頭都好驚今日既天氣惡劣,點知都幾好bor,唔晒,又無落雨,仲有d風添,不過我帶左既帽 & 太陽眼鏡就毫無用武之地lu~今日我負責睇陳展晴~佢好醒架,所以我都幾得閒~不過佢就有少少怕高~

michelle好衰呀,影左人地sleep既相~因為我上船個時sleep左,佢話我開左少少眼呀,對呀,我都唔知點解,我妹都係咁架~有無人可以話過俾我知呀~仲有呀,有趣事呀today~今日米雪去左7仔記買水,有個媽媽就問個職員"有無迷暈丸呀"個姐姐仔俾佢嚇親"我地呢度唔賣迷暈丸架bor,你要暈浪丸呀??.....我聽完之後笑爆咀,我同cyrena陳述返一次,我都笑到死左~hahhahahahhaa~~~迷暈丸~

今日去左蒲苔島~個view好正,我最鐘意聽海浪聲~好想一個人坐一坐,散下心,諗下野,雖然未必think到野~但真係好舒服,雖然個d怪石真係唔多似,除左隻"靈龜上山石"似返隻龜外~今日行左唔係好多,因為會員都好累lu,其實佢地都好叻架勒~我就唔太滿足,我記得唔知中六定中七個時去過呢度,個時無咁多圍欄,我地成班人就咁響d草上行,個時我仲wear拖鞋添~因個時話唔想行,可以唔行~個陣時都好開心,不過個時行,同依家行都有另一番感受~

我有bring camera呀,尋日dinner好失敗呀,無帶DC~cyrena就帶左無電既相機~真差~大家得閒就去我相簿睇下啦~不過其實個個島都差唔多,我覺得~個次同1b班去長洲行,都係差唔多,不過唔同人就有唔同感覺~不過近近地去長洲都可以達到我既要求~因我只求坐響d石上面,聽下海浪聲~我suggest我地響石上開會~之後cyrena話咁即係玩phyllis jei,因佢又要按住d紙,唔俾佢地飛走~但又要寫記錄wor~hahahhahaa

我地1500就上返船~唔駛1700就返到岸,但因michelle留左d土產響cyrena度,我地就走返去搵佢,唔陪我地d會員等父母lu~之後我地都行左一陣街,見下菁菁同埋johnny~我同cyrena又返去行lu~我summer既shopping完畢~我buy左一條body glove既滑水褲同埋arena既滑水褲,buy左2件ruby既衫(佢地話唔o岩我著),一件頗lady既衫,一件lover's rock既衫~hahaha~收獲豐富~之後cyrena就去join佢個fd,我就行多陣就back home lu~今日都係無去shop hep~因我想take a rest~又要打埋d日記~

今日我就咁wear左一件背心,初頭就唔敢除住~之後就好熱~之後我都無理街上人既眼光,就咁響tst街頭行,我仲要行返home~我嫌自己肥,所以成日都唔敢WEAR,不過佢地話無咩野,我就被佢地support左我~哈哈哈~~~夏天wear背心係好爽既~我都想buy多幾件sporty d既~我晒黑既另一原因,就係睇落我sporty d,wear背心都靚d,又可以著一d sharp d既衫~我都係覺得晒黑係健康d,靚d,同埋襯我多d~hehehehhehe

同cyrena都discuss左個問題,做唐氏會員既父母都唔容易~就咁對住一陣就當然無咩問題啦,成日對住都幾心痛~又discuss下係咪未出世都check到呢個病情~佢地有d樣都幾正常,我諗係自閉症先係咁~自閉症係先天架~佢地有時做左d野佢地唔知架~佢地都唔想架~其實佢地有好多都好醒架~大家都係交流一下jei~今日christine好惡,不過後生係咁架勒,火氣大d,激動d,衝動d~michelle呢d就資深d~cyrena教我架,cyrena講野都幾圓滑呀,d字用得幾好~今日cyrena有瘀野,就係71話係7既倍數~hahahaha~~~~有時我都幾like打斜影相~

about me~選擇倆條魚共游的你具有強烈的責任感以及企圖心，生活起居方面都非常的獨立自主；此外，你在工作職場上，通常都會有不錯的表現，頗得上司與同事之間的愛戴。一般而言，你是屬於成熟穩重類型的人，精神年齡蠻能符合你的實際年紀的，但是，唯有在你的愛人面前，有時卻會表現出柔弱、需要受到照顧的行為舉止。

>>August 12, 2004 at 3:49:56 PM GMT+8

2004 年 8 月 10 日 星期二 【雨】

呢個星期我都幾忙下~哈哈~~扮忙~不過真係有好多野要做~呆得黎都有d精神~

星期二,玩完獨木舟,都幾累,左大腿有少少痛但都唔夠左肩痛,膝頭都瘀瘀地,因我緊張,就將2個膝頭向2邊壓,就係咁瘀左~我叫左菁菁幫我搞掂佢,不過最後都係michelle幫我卒~而肩膊就叫我外籍女傭阿may幫我搞掂佢~我今日訓到11點起身,唔記得做左d咩野,之後我就要趕去樂富,因為我同cyrena幫唐氏做"夏日蒲一蒲"既義工~今日係去briefing同埋初步認識一下d組員~

我地遲左少少,佢地都開始左~初頭我都呆呆地,未進入情況,之後就好左好多,都主動叫d會員分工,做野,問佢地問題,等佢地完成左一份outing前既資料~呢一班會員好醒,好活躍,christine都係~之前做個d義工既對象都好似唔太精伶,同埋都好難control,我地都好擔心我地未來10月-12月既智勇精兵會唔會都好難control,或者情況都唔太好,做唔到d咩~不過咁,依家睇到呢一個range既會員都ok~不過我地活動前都會俾足information佢地,等佢地有心理準備先~唔好等佢地以為好易~

之後我就同左cyrena出tst,因我地今晚dinner,有阿康,葛,winnie佢地,十人到啦,不過august因要陪堂姐而甩我地底(但係佢響電話吞吞吐吐,以為佢唔知同who一齊,佢話響電話會表達得唔係咁好wor,又會囉?????),之後又話去飲野join我地,又走左,huh~仲叫我地幫佢搞生日?好難勒~我地去左尖東個間"霸王山莊",winnie好揀食架,所以都無咩食到~d野ok啦,不過都係下午茶抵d~我地講左下次既function,係我同cyrena發起既~我地未去食之前,去左harbor city行街,有5人,而阿葛就負責響mtr接人過去~

我千叮萬囑佢地唔好late,點知我地late左~真衰~因我唔識由海旁行過去,我都係覺得由新港個邊過快d~不過又俾左個chance我地行星光大道~我同cyrena都未行過~我地都talk左阿kate返大陸d野,又講下,傾下咁啦~初時都幾靜,之後好好多~我有時覺得大家都唔係太夾,但勝在大家肯抽空出黎~可能大家都唔係同一個生活圈子裏面啦~之後得返5人響starbucks,终於都買o岩我要drink既frappaccino,chocolate,ice-blended cream,而唔係mocha~之後我地11點幾散人lu~

星期三,一早要去黃竹坑做埋個本回憶錄~個婆婆超好人~我今日都幾趕時間,我又無咩野要問佢,佢又怕我辛苦,唔俾我寫咁多~hahaha~都係去左30min到就走lu~我仲俾左我聯絡方法俾個婆婆,希望佢得閒打俾我啦~至於呢次義工服務既分享,我想星期六個日先打~之後我就出左causeway bay拎卷,出糧,入錢,食lunch~點知遲到..sorry~因我地響tuesday應承左christine幫另一個姑娘做義工~我就叫埋phyllis~我地係去圖書館架~好悶呀....我take care個2個,一個叫鍾"柄"琦,同埋李啟俊(自閉症)2個都係男仔黎既~"柄"琦就好動,成日周圍走,不過都好叻仔,但要我成日追佢,捉佢返黎,而啟俊就唔多專心,見過佢發一次脾氣,可能我悶親佢,因佢初時都有問我野~

而另外有2個成日撩我講野,我淨係記得有一個叫沛康~今次我主動左好多,有好多野都無避忌,無怕醜呀,都做左好多我認為o岩既野,亦都有同d義工交流下,因都見過面~~不過好多時都係個姑娘指點左我,如啟俊唔專心,原來唔俾既,因佢一定要學下野,我以為佢係咁,所以由得佢,之後姑娘話過佢一次之後我就識得叫佢專心d勒~我走個d時,佢地都有同我講byebye~同佢地相處好開心~投入左~我就響causeway bay就走,無跟佢地返中心~

之後就自己行左一陣,再去mtr station trade野,原本要拎卷,但早上就拎左,ok啦~今日好大雨,無拎umbrella,失敗~原本想拎,因天文台都有講~但趕時間,唔記得左~之後back home,好hungry,好累,本來想去shop help,不過老豆話raining,但之後都無落lu,早知去啦~今日好早就sleep,11點幾啦,因第二日又要早起身~今日無返school幫SPA手,sorry呀~~不過我都好有交帶咁話左俾michelle同埋大佛知得返cyrena去幫手~

好瀕樸呀today~~~到處奔波~~不過....近排成日聽歌,心中有d異樣~想喊~唔知點解~download左好多歌~要快d buy cd-r燒左佢地先~因唔想留咁多野響我部腦度~

>>August 12, 2004 at 1:50:27 PM GMT+8

2004 年 8 月 8 日 星期日 【晴】

今日0700就起左身,因我今日要同cyrena去聖士堤反灣上獨木舟一星~hehhe~cyrena考左架勒,佢陪我架咋~真好~我同佢都好like join活動玩架~hehehe~~我地仲相約好一齊去玩帆船添~遲d再去多一次踩單車添~我地都鐘意架~yeah~~以後有咩野都可以搵埋cyrena,多左一個伴,真好~今日都同佢傾左好多~我都同佢講左,我同佢諗野會唔同,因佢成日get唔到我講咩~所以我都同佢講,我都學習緊guide返人地去我返我講緊d咩~哈哈哈~~大家一齊努力啦~

我好緊張呀~因未上過,又唔知會點wor,又怕自己鈍,拖慢人地~菁菁一早都有打俾我,哈哈哈~~之後我就叫佢唔好阻住我,因會冷落cyrena架~我地早到左好多呀,個教練話唔駛咁早,大約0915到就差唔多,之後再換下衫,大約0930-0945先會落水~因為呢度既巴士班次較疏,咁早到,d人又未到齊,就會呆等架勒~原本我地唔係呢一個教練黎既,因之前個個唔得,不過我都好慶幸係呢一個教練,因佢真係好好人~佢肯同我地talk架~又教我地一d唔係一星既野~又因有一個女仔住響causeway bay,咁佢又車埋個女仔返home~

雖然我成日都係最慢,佢地成日都要等我,我都非常唔好意思,所以都好努力咁學,慢慢掌握,下午個時我都好左好多,不過隻野真係好難control,成日要用盡九牛二虎之力,除左一星要學既野之外,佢都教左我地點樣一人搬隻野,一個人倒水,點樣揸漿先無咁痛,我地唔駛握得太實架~原本可以學埋"HI rescue",不過大家都無咩意見咁,就不了了之~之後我地游下游下,wear住個救生衣..真爽~黑左,yeah~開心開心~~我要古銅色皮膚,hehhee~~不過菁菁唔俾我晒~

個教練見到我地用$15既price就報到個course,佢就話黎到唔玩,響岸邊嘔都抵啦~原本係$30既,但呢度學生就有半價~我地仲拎左個教練電話,不過我都有think d野,不過咁,我又明白既,我think係咪佢想我地搵返佢,先對我地咁好囉~但我地又唔可以咁think人既~同埋想我地搵佢都好正常既~有邊個唔想,同埋佢都真係好想教好我地既~今日個course有8個人,不過得5個人到左~有一個仲要玩到2星架勒~所以佢都做左教練既助教,成日示範下咁,我地都因為佢成日問教練野,之後個教練就教我地額外野~

今日我突登要晒黑,所以都著左背心~黑左,開心開心~不過唔keep住又白返一d~~真煩惱..哈哈哈~swim返先~我有突破呀今日,起碼我肯去做capsize,雖然都有d緊張,但起碼我肯去嘗試,唔會太忸怩~我覺得自己咁樣好好,最好每樣野都放膽去試~雖然我都仲係緊張,因我反轉時都係無用鼻噴水,搞到我入水,不過個感覺都好好,覺得自己好成功,同埋我對個次遇溺既恐懼感減弱了,依家融入返d水裏面去享受水裏面個一種感覺~係好開心架~所以我會去返大池swim,因為我知我得既~

膝蓋瘀左,因我緊張就好大力咁頂住,hehehehe~~菁菁原本想拎唔知咩膏俾我塗,等我舒服d wor,真好~雖然唔記得拎,有個份心意真好~佢依家成日都唔記得野..服左佢~聽日手臂,頸都會好痛吧~用左好多力,所以玩完都幾易肚餓~hehehehehe~~識到你地真好~感恩哦~我會珍惜你地既~哇哈哈哈~都係simple好d~~做人唔好太複雜~

>>August 9, 2004 at 3:58:42 PM GMT+8

2004 年 8 月 7 日 星期六 【晴】

去完camp返黎~呢幾日都有好多野哦~~思前想後.....不過....我無唔開心,唔好擔心~點解?因為我並唔係你地心目中所想既咁,響呢一件事上,我有用我既理性去分析,只不過無同你地講,而我亦都唔會打響呢度,所以俾左個錯覺你地~放心啦,我能放能收~係,我係天真,但我都一份理性,雙子座既我,理性同感性always打交道(所以腦海裏成日有談判既畫面),放心啦~信我,好無?我唔係你地所想咁架~如果唔係,你地都唔會俾我搞magic ant啦~仲有呀,唔准為左我而鬧交呀,以免傷感情~澄清一件事,我唔會盲目地對人好,會懂得分串,我係一個成日自我檢討既人,同埋我上一篇日記,我都真係有d野唔應該打,免得有人過於驕傲(提醒:唔好得寸進尺,自以為是),同埋.....~有一個信息係俾身邊既每一位,而唔係一個人only,就係我對我既朋友仔好,就算佢做錯左,或唔領情,我都會等,係基於我對朋友個一份真誠同埋熱衷~我又要train一下我既表達技巧~~真架,信我啦~唔信都唔緊要,我自己明白就ok了~

我只係諗,我成日都覺得世上無一個人係咁壞心腸既,只係一時做錯左,未想通jei~莫非我真係太天真,太易信人,對人無機心???唉.....希望我身邊既人唔會對我衰,害我就好llu~我覺得暫時我都未被我身邊既人害過,或者對我衰or令我深受傷害~或者都係keep住本著一個信念,我對人好,人對我好既一種想法~都唔想猜疑人地咁多lu~我唔怕蝕底既,因自己唔付出,唔主動對人好,朋友仔又點知呢~依家d人好少主動打俾朋友仔,咁我咪做主動個個囉,唔通大家唔搵唔搵,大家等大家,咪waste左好多時間or產生誤會場?

真係有人冷眼旁觀?真係有人會利用人地既好?咁我出黎做野真係要小心d,世途險惡~唯有靠我d好朋友仔保護我lu~~winnie,hong,phyllis,菁菁,michelle,joanjoan係我依家既好好好好朋友仔~因佢地保護我,我感受到~搞到我好似一個小朋友咁,唔太憂心,但係,我會將你地既意見作為參考,最終我都係會用返自己既一套想法,因為,唔知點解,我份人係咁,不過我有咩野一定好honest咁同你地講,唔會收收埋埋,呢樣野你地放心啦~因我成日都將自己剖開俾你地知架啦~有人實話我蠢,俾位人地中傷我,但係,我唔會理個d無聊人(咁大個人,仲做埋d膚淺,幼稚野,唔值得我去花心機處理,雖然我知世上有好多呢d人),唔會理個d唔明白我既人~我係一個大笨蛋,但係一個天真,純真,樂觀既小朋友~~hehehe....激死你地~

我入到camp,佢地買左好多野食,傻架~polly成日塞我食野,唔知係咪食得雜得滯,個晚我肚痛,痛到我訓唔到,又肚痾,直到凌晨5點多先食左粒止痛丸先sleep到,低0700又要wake up lu~個時我仲think,我都未必join到第二日既活動,因為我唔夠sleep,一唔夠我就會頭痛,更甚既是我有時會頭痛到想嘔,原本我真係想call醫生架(因佢地任何一個活動都有醫生,護士),但因係半夜,費事擾人清夢~第二日,我都有肚痛,都有肚痾,不過好好多,不過食完止痾丸都好似無咩效用~第三日就好好多lu~~

玩uno好玩d~好開心~~hehehhee~~同佢地既距離close左,好開心~主動左~不過佢地唔去玩outdoor actvities呀,我想玩定向or生命線~不過polly唔行得山,所以都係玩集體games,不過佢地又唔入去玩..算(因佢地都大個了),我就同左佢地打badminton,之後就返房,我又sleep左~因真係太累~佢地都好體貼,好安靜咁玩,免得吵醒我~尤其是靜雯~雖然成日都同佢鬥咀,但其實佢好乖,好體貼,好識諗~雖然佢保守左d~凱霖就較靜,為左迎合大家,而甚少將自己既 意見及意願提出~所以我都成日鼓勵佢~我同寶瑩會夾d,因佢都玩outdoor activities既,所以佢想swim,我都同佢swim~因佢個個姐姐唔識swim~又唔想晒~陪佢去玩定向都有d勉強呀~

yeah~又黑左~hahhahhaha~~第二晚,係佢地帶games,我都好留意個情況,一來拎經驗,二來都想睇下佢地點搞(如應變能力,合作性,個人性格等)規則一定要講清楚,唔好以為參加者年紀少就睇輕,因佢地都好醒架~一定要接納他人意見,無論係咩人俾,都要聽,可以唔認同,同埋一定要rehearsal,太過有自信,以為臨場應變就ok,點知....出黎既效果並不好~雖然d games都好順利,但係因為d大人幫手及提點~多小朋友,情況就一定亂,呢點一定要注意~同埋一定要變通囉~

不過有一個game叫<人肉棋盤>都幾好玩架,遺忘左呢個game~第二晚就同呀靜雯,敏卿同埋寶瑩talk下,之後我頂唔順,2點多就sleep,點知佢地4點多先sleep~~依家我響camp quality開心左,好似有返d方向同埋歸屬感lu~

>>August 8, 2004 at 11:50:56 AM GMT+8

2004 年 8 月 5 日 星期四 【溫暖】

算了吧~我決定左講既時候,我都豁左出去lu~多左一個人知,我都無咩所謂~不過咁,點解個個人可以咁醒既~找死囉佢~依家咪仲好,唔駛think咁多,雖然我覺得我都唔係用左好多時間think jei,只不過我成日同你地講,你地先覺得我think得多掛~不過咁,唔拎d野黎think下,我既生活會變得好苦悶架~算啦....我無野lu.....因為我都知無咩可能囉~點解??你等我做左vip先,等我可以收埋我d私人野先啦~雖然好似個個都知咁~kakakkakaka~~~我就無咩野好擔心~~

sandy,我地一齊享受一下單身既生活直至有另一個為止啦~

我有疑問:::點解d人會唔接受人地既一番好意,仲好似好抗拒咁?莫非係因為固執己見,當局者迷所致???我覺得大家應該響適當時候就放低自己,聽下人地既意見~因為人地旁觀者清~既然你既朋友講得出,即係都有佢既原因啦,有佢既道理~

oh....固執己見,頑固到死既人會令我頭痛~真架~因我份人又急wor~~又衝動wor~

我最後都係決定打出黎勒~反正我都豁左出去,同埋佢都已經知道左啦~無呀....我多數只係會同我朋友講下,發下顛,但係都無講我對佢既睇法同埋覺得呢個人係點~其實從佢地相處當中,我都知佢既人係點~所以點解我會遲疑唔敢作進一步行動呢,係因為第一,我唔confirm,第二,唔了解佢既想法(雖然知佢係點,我只係know佢既性格係點,唔知佢點think野or價值觀),第三,唔知佢同我夾唔夾(雖然夾唔夾都唔係一個主要因素,因為各方都有好or唔好~~)第四,唔知佢係咪我想要既人~(因為認真咁拍拖都係得一次,而從呢一次拍拖我知道我想要既人係要體諒我感受,明白點解我會咁think and 每人都要有適當的自由),only~~

同埋我知道自己係鐘意佢,並唔係一個好感囉~因為就算佢無行動,就算佢唔鐘意我,我都會為佢做一d野係可以幫助到佢囉,值唔值得?唔知我係咪都係對人好呢,都唔太計較,同埋我會當佢係我一個好好朋友咁囉(雖然唔太了解,因為我覺得要了解,有心靈溝通先會係我既好好好朋友,但俾佢例外啦~哈)~有時我都好confuse,愛情係咩呢,拍拖又為咩呢?我咁樣做,我咁樣諗,好似我對其他好好好朋友都係咁之嘛,咁對佢係咁,又有咩特別呢?多左一份關心,多左一份重視?以佢為先???不過我可以話俾你地知,我既好好好朋友有咩事,個一刻可能佢唔認同我既意見,但當佢後悔,我都會企返響佢身邊,支持佢~呢一樣野係響joanjoan身上學返黎既~因近排都發生左d事,joanjoan咁樣同我講,我覺得好o岩,所以接受左並用響我既朋友仔身上~

都未講why我覺得同佢無咩可能,我出camp先打返~hahahahaa~~~我鐘意佢並唔係因為同情~因為我初初都唔知佢d野~~~好啦~唔打咁多~seeya

>>August 6, 2004 at 7:18:42 AM GMT+8

2004 年 8 月 5 日 星期四 【溫暖】

請細心欣賞

一個女兒對她智慧的父親抱怨, 說生命是如何痛苦, 無助, 但問題似乎一個接著一個,讓她毫無招架之力. 她是多麼惶然, 失去方向.

當廚師的父親二話不說, 拉起心愛的女兒的手, 走向廚房. 他燒了三鍋水, 當水滾了之後,他在第一個鍋子裡放進蘿蔔, 第二個鍋子裡放了一顆蛋, 第三個鍋子放進了咖啡.

狐疑的女兒望著父親, 父親則只是溫柔地握著她的手, 示意她不要說話,靜靜地看著滾燙的水, 以熾熱的溫度燒滾著鍋裡的蘿蔔, 蛋和咖啡.

一段時間過後, 父親把鍋裡的蘿蔔, 蛋撈起來各放進碗中, 把咖啡瀘過倒進杯子, 問:
"寶貝, 你看到了什麼?"女兒說: "蘿蔔, 蛋和咖啡."

父親解釋, 這三樣東西面對相同的逆境, 也就是滾燙的水, 反應卻各不相同,
原本粗硬,堅實的蘿蔔, 在滾水中卻變軟了, 虛爛了;
這個蛋原本非常脆弱,但是經過滾水的沸騰之後, 蛋殼內卻變硬了;
而粉末似的咖啡卻非常特別, 它竟然改變水,令滾燙的熱水, 變成濃濃的香味.

妳呢? 我的女兒, 妳是什麼? 當逆境來到妳的門前, 妳作何反應呢?
妳是看似堅強的蘿蔔, 但痛苦與逆境到來時, 變得軟弱, 失去力量嗎?
或者妳原本是一顆柔順易變的蛋, 在痛苦與逆境時, 有著堅實的心呢?
又或者妳的外表看來堅硬如石頭, 但妳的心和靈魂已變得又倔又固執?
又或者,妳就像咖啡, 是一個有彈性, 有潛力的靈魂, 將那帶來痛苦的沸水改變,當水沸騰到最高點時, 水變成了美味的咖啡, 愈加美麗?

我的寶貝女兒, 妳要讓逆境摧折妳, 還是妳來轉變它, 讓身邊的一切人和事物,感覺更美好, 更良善? 我們不單要像蛋, 變得僵硬頑強, 更要像咖啡, 在經歷死亡, 分離,困境之時, 變得更好, 將自己的心轉變, 成為一個有潛力的靈魂. 懂嗎?

>>August 6, 2004 at 3:22:07 AM GMT+8

2004 年 8 月 4 日 星期三 【雷雨】

I felt very tired today~As I slept at 01XX yesterday,but i wake up at 04XX~I dunno why,and I heard my sister's alurm clock ringing~Therefore,I didn't sleep well~I have got a headache~In this morning,I had to go to causewaybay to have a briefing for spaghetti house survey and to take some clothes for my camp quality children who I have to take care in camp for the following days.

I'm telling you all,this diary,i will apply for a vip member to lock some private diary~I'm sorry about that,since I have my own reason,I hope you all can understand and accept my action~In fact,there's not all of my friends like to be available in this diary~They always ask me not to show their things~Thus,I have to protect my friends and myself~

Anyway,my English is poor,I apologise about this~

For my friends,don't worry about me,I am not a child,even though i'm childlike sometimes,but I know how to think~~HAHAHA~~I'm mature~I was shocked and upset~If i told u that I has nothing,this is a lie~You have to know that,i just made a decision which is I'm going to know more about someone and try to find out what characteristic of someone and try to understand about someone~And I want to develop a relationship,but.....I will think deeply and I trust what my friends told me~So,I will keep a distance for abservation because i don't know someone well but i know my friends well~That's not what I think(some events,I got it)~I won't think too much~But someone can be my friend,if someone want to do so~

I know that if someone is mine,who is mine~I want to have one that can take care me more,mature,give ideas,guide me to think, both of us can grow in the relationship,care of my feeling(or step on my side to think), who is reliable~but i know that boys sometimes are childlike,it's acceptable,but not much~As I think ShingShing doesn't care my feeling~I feel sad~I don't want someone who don't know their mind clearly and to be my boyfriend~As I will feel unsafable and become angry,worry,unhappy,impatient~

Somethings are funny today,it will be in my mind,if u have any interested,ask me~I'm growing up~Don't you feel that?I really really care care care yours feeling much~I hope my friends can smile everday~I love you all~

Sandy,no need to say thanks as you are my friend~~Don't shy to share your feeling, I'm 24 hours on call~I have to remind you that,when u decide to do sth before,you have to think deeply,that doesn't spend much time but affect you ever and ever~A lesson is repeated until learn~A life is full of learning~

I will go camping these days,don't miss me,ok?I will be back on Sunday~

I have to keep fit and build the confidence~yeah~~

>>August 5, 2004 at 2:03:35 PM GMT+8

2004 年 8 月 3 日 星期二 【乍寒還暖】

今日因為要去開會,整匙扣同埋大家傾下計,所以就去左michelle home~佢呀,prepare左好多野食俾我地,想食死我地呀~陰險勒佢.....想整肥我地呀~開會都幾順利,因為好多野都搞掂晒~之後就要同菁菁discuss下,我地下次幾時開會勒~因為菁菁今日有野做,而phyllis又唔可以太夜back home既關係,所以就唔到菁菁咁夜先開會~

我地訂左d短期目標,希望大家都能夠完成啦,我希望大家互相合作~菁菁,我地會講返俾你地知架勒~dun worry~有野實預你一齊做既~hahahhahaha~~~睇黎第時新既核心會員,我地都係俾多d心理準備佢地先勒,因唔係想像中咁易架~而佢地又未必接觸過,都唔知同佢地合作時會點架~睇黎都係要花d工夫~

phyllis果然係perfect square面呀,連細個都係~kaki 既朋友仔都好似好靚女咁bor,佢都梗係靚女一名啦~~又知多左kaki既野~細michelle好男仔呀,依家好好多~發現左angel既"�跡添~cyrena都幾搞笑個樣,鬼鬼馬馬咁~哈哈哈~~都好開心既~~佢地又知道左我好多野~估唔到我咁怕醜呢~哈哈哈哈~因我仍然係一個純真既小朋友~~哈哈哈哈~~入世未深,諗野仲係好天真~哈哈~~

之後就去左食飯,因我公公生日,要佢地等.真係唔多好意思~hehehehehe~~
michelle話一星期一個站?其實係想話一星期一次覆診~phylis近排講野又咬字唔準勒~

星期二,無野做,confirm左我響沖涼時我可以organise到好多野~可能我沖涼時無咩野做,腦裏面d野就爆晒出黎啦~雖然無字筆mark低,但我記憶力算強架,所以有好多雞毛蒜皮既事我都記得架~我都係去左shop help既,不過,因為太靜,我11點幾就走左~hahahha~~congratulation,你仲差少少,加油吧~

點解9月至12月有咁多人生日架?????好煩呀~見到sandy wor,因佢知我近排都有去shop help,所以都黎睇下我咁囉~我知阿yung date左佢,唔好咁擔心啦~我都知幾緊張既~又唔知佢想點~我有睇你日記架~加油吧~我亦都要理性d~~除左顧慮自己,人地,同埋身邊既人~

>>August 4, 2004 at 4:29:40 PM GMT+8

2004 年 8 月 1 日 星期日 【清涼】

個d句子張貼完畢,謝謝大家觀賞~

今日有2種感覺,1----煩惱,唔知點算,不過無野可以做到~2-----唔鐘意,唔鐘意有人既態度~

星期日無野做,死左響home,好熱,我間房好焗,就咁坐響度.....d汗唔駛一分鐘就冒晒出黎~我好大汗架...so一定要帶毛巾出街,hahaha~~唔知我老豆幾時整返把風扇響我間房呢~之後我就去左shop help~mummy問我,駛唔駛拎錢,我就同佢講,我問daddy拎~依家對佢既態度好左,有問必答,雖然都有d不耐煩~good good~我又企響度睇<有線電視>,hahahaha~~不過都做多左野,有執下檯~~落單呀,埋單呀,我就無去做~收錢就有我份~幫手拎下野咁囉~之後我就上返home拎張八達通去換ticket~上星期又無去換勒~

今日好忙呀,成day都好full~我尋晚0200先sleep,訓得唔好~之後0845起身,因要去做義工~0930響樂富等,佢地話我未訓醒,so take care個child既時候,叫多左個人一齊睇(我估個reason都係咁,一係個child難handle)~初時個email好似話肢體傷殘既人,幾時變左患有唐氏,自閉症既2-6歲既小朋友架?無咩所謂,因今次都係幫幾小時,friday我又唔得閒~原來我個小朋友想痾屎,不過我唔知,只係知佢企左響個類似toilet既chair前想除褲,我以為佢玩....點知佢之後隔左半小時就賴左lu~

我個時都嗅到一陣味,不過唔sure,佢又被一個姑娘拎左去dance~~之後佢2隻手有屎~佢地初時都唔知係咩黎.....唔係嘛????之後我地就去左洗手lu~~不過..d小朋友多數唔會明,同埋佢地唔多理你,要捉佢地d手腳先會dance~佢地有時都掙扎架~~都幾辛苦,又怕整親佢~~不過take care佢個時,唔可以同另一個人玩,唔可以亂咁俾野佢地食,唔可以幫佢地起花名~2-6歲都幾難handle架~同埋要主動d,我就唔夠主動......

之後就返左home,佢地一隻,二隻都late~有我,菁菁,michelle,細ryan,牛奶去九龍公園swim~細ryan同michelle串我,又話想晒黑,又wear件衫,都唔知想點~因我wear衫落水,michelle想爆我why要wear,我捉住佢,佢大叫~我響九龍公園除左morning會除之前,其他時間都唔會,過唔到自己個關~佢地話無用架....落左水都係貼身,又係白色wor~原本唔係架....浸得多咋~算~我早左上水,因為我想back home放低d野先~

我地date左cyrena1545深水黤外牛奶話放假都要去深水鶛我地去睇公仔呀...響福華街~本來去到有一間想買野架,點知條友勁串,佢地響佢shop玩,佢就好惡咁話"咩事呀,打交呀,仲think住報警,呢度做生意架,玩,咁大個人"我同cyrena剛入去,唔知發生咩事,嚇親我地~咁原本我地think住湊夠$500就以批發價買野,點知佢話"1-2人就$500,2-5人就要過$1000"咁我地叫返d人走出去咪得囉,不過基於佢咁串,我地都係走~佢個度有寫"試玩一次$10",好無聊呀~我同cyrena,michelle,菁菁都睇中野~我地行多陣,就去take bus去奧海城buy ticket睇film~

期間,佢地成日話我減肥,又問who既影響力咁大,無呀,女仔係貪靚d架啦~人地想買衫呀~一地swim完多數唔食野架,要隔2-3小時架~我響越南村食野,同埋響mcdonald,佢地都成日問,你真係唔駛食野架?做咩唔食野呀....大家要記住,我個時係食緊著條,同埋好努力咁食緊麵.....佢地都好似睇唔到咁~激死左我~我就黎俾佢地激死~睇完之後就散水~奧海城個view真係幾好,好靚,尤其係個shopping mall出面~個時又日落,個天藍色,d雲橙色架~

唉~你地唔好再話我詞不達意勒下~我有時都think係你地蠢o丫,定係真係真係我講得唔清唔楚,搞到我有d judge自己~唉~~不過算啦,有時我知你地係拎d野黎串我jei,捉字虱~不過我個時explain條鍊俾cyrena聽,佢聽極都唔明,原來佢think左去另一邊~oh....so我要learn how to理解佢地thinking既路線去左where,以及用問題去理解佢地唔明d咩~唔好死用自己個套去講,因佢地唔明就真係唔明,因佢think既路線已同自己偏離左~

佢地串我用個碗去夾food呀~嗚嗚嗚~~~人地係話俾個碗人地夾food俾我就串我勒....咁人地會明我係俾個碗佢,佢幫我用筷子or叉take food落我我個碗度架啦~死人細ryan and michelle~~~huh,huh~!最後我本想take bus返home,點知唔識,就take左mtr,其實我見到佢地,不過好似好瘀咁就無走過去~michelle話nevermind wor,因女人成日change their mind~哈哈哈哈~~

之後joanjoan上左黎, 大家talk左陣~yeah~~~唔記得講,去酊越南村,有個waitress真係呆呆地~斟茶就斟晒全部啦,要遞俾佢先斟~之後我話我響shop就咁遞杯and茶壺only~佢地就話正常架wor,大排檔,又無加一,同埋我個身份and post都唔同~我有時都係睇下我既心情jei~心情好就斟埋,不過有時會俾mummy罵~

>>August 3, 2004 at 7:45:00 AM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 30 日 星期五 【晴】

96. A little of every thing is nothing in the main. 每事淺嘗輒止，事事都告無成。
97. A great ship asks deep waters. 大船要走深水。（蛟龍要在海中游。）
98. The best physicians are Dr. Diet, Dr. Quiet, and Dr. Merryman. 節食博士、精心博士、快樂博士，三人都是最好的醫生。
99. He that once deceives is ever suspected. 騙人一次，受疑一世。
100. Empty wagons rattle loudest. 空車響聲大。
101. Nothing so bad but might be a blessing. 塞翁失馬，焉知非福。

哈哈哈~我搵到why我個日記變斜體既源頭lu~就係"<>"裏面有"i"既話就代表斜體字,咁我個時因為講緊i roboot,我就用"<>"括住佢,所以引致呢一種情況發生~好彩showhappy有討論區,有人幫我搞掂左,yeah~響度同細ryan講一聲"生日快樂"~哈哈哈哈~~

睇完一個人既日記,嗯~有好大迴響,但係一個唔好既感覺~因為我覺得有人鑽牛角尖~將fd weighting會有,我會分who係好好好朋友,who係點頭之交,但唔會刻意去weighting或做任何事~或者佢真係缺乏左一種安全感吧~不過有時太在意一件事,反而會令件事及當中既人物向唔好個邊惡化~relax一點~不過咁,我唔會only響呢度打,我會同佢講返我既感受~~唔累既咩,時時刻刻count住,睇下who need to be deleted,invisable,咁做朋友又有咩意思呢,不如努力d去建立關係,做d對雙方都好既野吧~

因為一個人好難同時間同多人好close,因為一個人既能力,時間,精神都係好有限既~人地唔reply你,可能佢icq壞左,可能佢被人開左電腦,唔知你同佢talk~有好多種可能性~我同意唔係時時刻刻都心有靈犀,所以千祈唔好叫人估你think緊咩,做呢d野有咩意思~做朋友仔,當我收到一個msg,而個個msg係有warning成份,如我同你唔熟既,我會反感,~真架~向好個一方面think吧~雖然我明你,why你咁think.咁做,但因為觀點與角度既問題,我未必認同你既做法~以上都係個人觀感,請唔好介意~係善意的~

星期六無野做,stay左響home,做返晒d paper work,睇完一本書,睇下vcd~之後就去左shop幫手+take photo~無得睇,不過我就成晚都睇有線既film,不過好多都睇過晒~

星期五,9點幾就起左身,之後去見工,佢唔請part time同埋我都唔like響個間咁細既cafe做,都唔係我預期既cafe~之後back home,食左d野,1點幾就訓過~約左cyrena,michelle,2:45pm油麻地mtr等~之後我地就去左買皮做匙扣~咁因為我1530要見工,我就走左先,佢地去shan shui po睇扣~如我所料,係個間bb任食特區,不過因timing問題,同埋我計過個段時間,1900-0100,我不如去shop help好過,反正我會問daddy拎money,同埋時間彈性d~之後我就拒絕受聘~

之後打俾佢地,佢地都差唔多買完,就響月台等,之後陪michelle返去俾野麥太,之後我地就去左葵芳劇院既cafe坐 and talk~michelle又串我勒~~找死呀~由thursday串到friday呀~咁我大汗,佢掂我又話我"lup",之後又不斷咁掂我,都唔知佢想點,於是係我避佢,唔俾佢掂我~我地見到張達明~個間cafe都係麻麻咋~除左炸薯皮~我杯chocolate好淡~之後我地6點幾就散lu~我就back home dinner同埋睇連續劇~hahahhahaha~~

菁菁好好呀~~佢幫我搞掂左份野~hohohohoho~~~我打返俾個個就業主任,話見唔成,之後佢就話要去my shop幫襯,問我有無折~同左michelle講,佢又起鬨,話人地想見多你幾面,又話要同菁菁講~找死呀~cyrena又聯同michelle一齊窒我呀~找死呀~~嗚嗚~佢地恰我呀~~俾返d威嚴你地睇下先~不過有時都唔想對你地態度認真,驚嚇親你地~同埋我依家知道每當進行一個program要做咩先勒~!呢個方向響my mind~later volunteer 會share~

>>August 1, 2004 at 5:39:22 AM GMT+8