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2007 年 4 月 12 日 星期四 【晴】 尋晚又係 5 點幾訓....>.<" 今朝8 : 50 自動彈左起身，因為無喇喇兩邊鼻孔都流鼻血 ! >.<" 仲要係勁多 ~ 我都未見過自己可以流咁多血 ~ 仲要我 gum 住好耐都唔停bor ! 打電話俾 Kenn，話俾佢聽我流鼻血，講左 2 句就收左線。 12 : 00 起身，沖涼，食個公仔麵，邊食邊睇 accounting notes。 2 : 00 Kenn 打黎，唔知係我個電話有問題 or 佢電話 la ~ 成日都聽唔清楚佢講咩野，佢又以為我唔應佢 bor。好多 dead air ~ 之後佢話我無心機同佢講野，我解釋俾佢聽但佢有少少發脾氣咁。我叫佢開 MSN 傾，but 佢電腦死死地，開唔到 MSN......air time 50 mins 入面，我地無咩點認真溝通過..... 3 : 15 番到學校 ~ Kenn 打黎同我講 sorry，我好想聽埋佢解釋 but 要上堂 >.<" 上 human sexuality。今日有大食會，每個 students 各自帶 d 獨特的食物，我就帶左雲吞。其他人帶左 d 印度野 (有一舊好辣，食唔到；另一舊好似牛利鬆咁既味 )，牛油 cookie，raw veggie，fruit。而個 prof 就帶左 apple pie ~ 落左堂之後同個 prof 吹水吹左成半粒鐘有多，之後去左 computer lab 幫 Annie 整一整 PDF and quickly review accounting...... 6 點媽咪黎車我 ~ 番到屋企訓左 45 mins，起身食飯。
oh boy! check this out, it's funny ~"~ >>April 14, 2007 at 10:11:05 AM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 11 日 星期三 【晴】 8 month anniversary hollow eyes, tired body w/o my soul in it..... 3: 15 番學 ~ 幫媽咪 print 野，之後上堂。基本上無做過野，only 教 Sabrina 整 website ~ 之後再 check 番我自己個 web site 的 final mark ! 滿分 ! great ! 想食野，但個胃好似頂住頂住。想嘔又嘔唔出，平時為食 ge 我去左邊 ? 望住我最鐘意 ge chocolate biscutes，都唔想食。 到底係因為 exam 的壓力令到自己完全 function 唔到，定係因為感情問題 ? 唔知‥‥‥淨係知道自己好累，好累。 好想有 d 獎勵 ~ well，咁我要考好 d 個 exam ! 之後扭計叫 dad 媽咪買電話俾我 ~ $ 3xxx ><"
Watch American Next Top Model ~
總括黎講，Kenn 無正面回答過我尋日講 ge 野。不過佢有俾時間我，只不過我講唔出口。佢係有心去答我，就唔需要我再提多第 2 次。佢不斷講我番到 hk 之後點點點點..........我知佢想藉著令我對將來有希望，就唔再提舊事。但我已經唔可以好似以前咁，我有好多野想同佢講，但我好似怕左佢，唔敢同佢講‥‥‥點解要怕自己的男朋友 ? 真可笑...... >>April 12, 2007 at 3:24:44 PM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 10 日 星期二 【晴】 行屍走肉的一天 尋晚等佢電話等到 5 點半，打俾佢想同佢講我唔等喇，但無人聽。 8 點起身，9 點 50 番學，遲左 3 分鐘。 marketing 派番卷 ~ shit ! 我應該可以滿分的 ! but only 95 % 11 : 40 accounting ~ Daniel 坐埋黎一齊做功課。 1 : 30 英文堂 ~ 交左份research paper ，聽埋佢講 exam details 就走人。 2 : 40 約左買家去 trade 左部手提，明明尋晚係電話講好左係 $ 180 但佢出到黎話 $ 150 ! 頂佢個肺 ! 姐係口同鼻 argue 姐......之後佢 check 我部電話的時候無喇喇，唔知係唔覺意定有心 la，跌左落地。咁我無即刻出聲，但我果刻已經心諗如果佢唔買的話我點都唔會 let him go ! 點知佢真係話唔買 ! 我鼓起勇氣，行前一步阻止佢「逃走」之後開始係度嘈，愈嘈愈大聲。我件 jacket 擺左係車，好凍；成身係度震，但我唔肯讓步，寧願繼續同佢嘈。我知道佢趕住番公司，但我有 ge 係時間 ( despite the fact that my fingers were all numb )，所以同佢打心理戰，同佢講話「你都趕住番公司，咁 $ 170 一人讓一步 la 」咁迫到佢話 $ 160 ~ 之後再同佢磨多陣，最後 $ 165 成交。 上到車，我先 feel 到原來喉嚨好痛 ~ 希望唔好無喇喇引番起好耐都無發過 ge 哮喘 la ! 成肚氣，不過更加 feel sorry ge 就係媽咪都陪我企係條街果度同條友係度嘈 ~ 但媽咪都無怨我。 番到屋企好想同 Kenn 講番頭先發生的事，但我記得上次我 sell books 俾人壓價的時候，佢鬧我無用，所以今次都唔敢同佢講了。佢只會鬧我蠢，話我太懦弱 and 淋善.......算了吧 ! 我只是想找一個 shelter....而我自己就係最好的 shelter for 自己...... 4 : 45 點打黎話俾我聽打爆左機 ~ 依家去訓 la。之後佢主動咁叫我開 msn，佢見到我 msn 個 nickname 打 ge 野，就問我「又做咩事?」我唔想同佢嘈，因為已經係 5 am ~ he should sleep as he needa wake up early the next morning。我唔出聲，因為真係無咩野好講；如果要講，會有好多野要講，但需要好多時間去 warm up 然之後講出黎。佢應承左我聽日會好好地坐低同我傾。ok....信埋今次，如果佢再唔 keep 佢的 promise 的話，我知道我應該點做。
Nokia E65 hum.....may be I will get this one in HK, but I'd better save up some money now !!!! sigh ~ I am broke......I dun have sufficient money in my HK bank a/c for this ><"hum.....but I sold my cell phone already la bor, what can I use ? >>April 12, 2007 at 12:17:35 PM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 9 日 星期一 【晴】 9 : 30 am Kenn 打黎叫我起身 ~ 我收左線之後，剩下的只是一聲歎息。不想想太多 ~ 趕快沖涼換衫番學。沒有時間吃早餐 ~ 只是飲左 2 大杯 warm water 就 left home 11 am 番學，幫 Sabrina 整 website ~ 有時我真係唔知道到底人地係真心想同我做朋友 / 只係純粹當有人幫下手，特別係 white ，始終 culture 唔同，真係唔知道~ anyways ! 唔好諗得太複雜 ~ 幫到人就算 la ^^ 11 : 40 上到課室繼續幫佢做，做到 1 : 30 要上另一堂都仲未走得 >.<" 遲左少少入課室，今日 Economic 堂做 review ~ 早左落堂，去 computer lab print out d 文件 for mum ~ 但張 student card 又無錢，激死人，搞到我要走上走落去入錢 and print 野 and 影印野... 番到屋企打俾 Kenn，佢又係度打緊機.......正如我尋晚所想，他只是用「拖」字訣。他昨天為了平伏我的情緒，所以就對我說今天才繼續討論。但討論個屁！他今天隻字不提！假如他以為不再提起這件事，讓我自動淡忘是有用的話，他完全錯了！也許我也不會再提，但這只會令這件事變成我倆之間的一道疤痕，以後再多的努力也洗不掉，弄不走！明明可以挽救，機會已經給了無數次，日後我想起來至少我也無愧於心。在這段感情上面，我的確盡了力。我和佢都唔希望見到一段努力經營了 8 個月的感情告吹，但唔代表佢可以恃住我唔想輕鬆放棄呢一點而對我愛理不理 ! 我會問自己，點解佢會咁對我，我做錯 D 咩? 有咩做得唔好 ? 同樣，我都希望佢係度埋怨我點解我耐唔耐就要「投訴」佢，搞到佢好頭痛的時候，都諗下到底佢自己做錯 d 咩令我要咁樣對佢。 哭得太多.......人，很累。 4 : 30 pm 同佢一齊訓覺（開住webcam果種)，好想搵番以前果種感覺......but..... 8 點起身食飯 睇下電話，搞下呢樣搞下果樣又夜晚 la >>April 12, 2007 at 12:17:50 PM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 8 日 星期日 【晴】 woke up @ 12 ~ had thousands nightmares, including 一隻蜥蝪係牆果度，我見到佢之後，佢爬上 ceiling 再好似 spider 咁吊落黎 right in front of my face ( 當然係唔可能的 ) anyways ~ 起身無耐 d 麻煩人就出晒門口 ! great ! ate lunch ~ n continue doing my final report ! 跟住打算同佢玩 cam 喇 ~ 點知等了又等，由2 點等到 7 點。4 點的時候我打去提一提佢已經夜喇，唔好再打機，要訓覺如果唔係第 2 朝起唔到身番工。但係，佢繼續打。我已經無佢咁好氣，同媽咪係度處理一 d 好麻煩的 paper work，之後繼續寫我的 report。 7 點佢終於去訓 ~ 開左個 webcam 一陣，睇左幾 sec 樣，then 就開住 webcam 訓。我食完飯番上房的時候，connection 斷左。 之後我繼續做功課........終於做完 report，夜晚 12 點半，同 Kevin 出左街去 bubble tea ( for those who dun know what bbtea is ~ 姐係香港的珍珠奶茶果類野 ) 我地坐左人地間舖頭收工，得番我地，我 sense 到我要走 but 佢又唔走佢 >.<" 唯有直接同佢講，不如上車先 la...... 2 am 我去左屋企附近的 supermarket 果個 parking lot 果度練車 ~ haha 第 2 次 drive ! 感覺無上次咁緊張，but 都驚嫁 ! 佢果架車都成 10 年車齡，所以無新車去得咁快 ( 仲好喇 ) 上次試 drive 的時候 only 學 turn right ~ 今次試埋 turn left ! 雖然我都仲未好標準咁做到「交叉手」咁扭wheel但我已經好努力咁提自己，雙手時常要 keep 住 3 & 9 點鐘位置 ! 係佢的幫助底下 ~ 我成功咁做 free point turn and parking ! ( 其實我 only 輕輕 hold 住個 wheel, 真正用力扭wheel係佢。佢叫我幾時 break 我就 break ~ lol ) 3am 完成了第 2 次 driving ! 雖然唔係正式咁學 driving ~ 我亦都無咩信心 cox most of the time 都係佢傍住我，but at least，我有少少 sense of achievement ! 番到屋企落妝，then 打俾 Kenn。佢又係打緊機.......well，有時間唔代表一定要打機姐。咁佢問我訓未，我話未，我仲要落妝，沖涼先訓。咁佢叫我等佢，話打陣機會就陪我玩 cam。結果等左 2 個鐘，5 am 我同佢講我累喇 ~ 唔等。
５分鐘後佢打黎，初頭語氣都 ok，問我做咩事‥‥‥then 我同佢講：「因為你頭先終於都識得問我到底係唔係唔愛你，咁我咪解釋俾你聽點解頭先我唔答你囉」之後我又講左ｄ個人感受，一路喊一路講；佢好悔氣咁話：「我成日出去玩，成日打機，唔得閒陪你玩ｃａｍ講電話，對唔住」我要的唔係一句咁樣的對唔住，咁樣只會令我 feel even worse.......佢開始唔耐煩，仲好大聲咁鬧番我轉頭‥‥我喊得好犀利‥‥‥講講下，無喇喇聽到幾聲物件碰撞的聲音，之後佢講左一句「唔講喇」就收左線。我喊到傻左.......過左唔知幾耐，佢打番番黎，話佢唔想聽到我「鵝」佢，佢話每次聽到我講呢 d 野就頭都痛埋（但我自問，我已經收埋左好多好野，忍住唔同佢講唔想煩住佢，我由以前日日都喊改變到依家１個月先喊一次，難道咁都算多？）跟住佢叫我去訓，唔好諗咁多，應承我聽日先同我傾。我已經唔想再同佢講野，求其應左兩句話我會去訓就收左線。 真係好辛苦‥‥‥喊到抖唔到氣。喊喊下流鼻血，唉 ~都唔知咩野事。想打俾人傾，但唔知打俾邊個，當我諗到打俾邊個，又唔想同任何人講野。最後係唔知點樣的情況底下訓左。 >>April 10, 2007 at 2:22:13 PM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 7 日 星期六 【晴】 Planned to do my website but there were problems w/ my computer so I couldn't finish it. Luckily, aunt and her family was out today, so I could go downstaris. FREE! @ 6 : 30 I cooked dinner w/ my bro, as only we were at home. I grilled the steak, n he prepared mushroom soup and veggie. 7 : 20 pm ~ ready to eat! After dinner, he left w/o cleaning up the kitchen >.<" n of cox, I was the one who did the nasty job..... Called Steven abt the marketing game final report, but I didn't start doin' it until 1 : 30 am >.< Finished most of it @ 7 am....lol ~ Called Kenn, he was surprised n asked me to go to bed ASAP, n promised that he would play webcam w/ me. And if I wake up late, then I would have less time playing webcam w/ him.
Can u find the wrong word? lol ~ i am afraid if I dun use Chinese to type my diary, after a couple years, I will end up like this journist who use 同音字 ><"
>>April 10, 2007 at 2:21:51 PM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 6 日 星期五 【晴】 Insomnia.....again ! I see the beautiful sun rises......the unknow bird chripping around......a brand new day w/o a solid goal ~ wow ! I slept @ 9am n got up @ 1pm ~ hum..... Kenn 近來對我好左，但我心底裡有個疑問，所以我沒有因此而感到很大的安慰。當我今朝 8 am 打俾佢，話俾佢聽我成晚無訓為左寫 research paper，講左 2 句就收左線 ( 因為佢行緊街 ~ ) 但 10 mins 之後佢打番黎，問我仲係唔係做緊，叫我早 d 訓 ~ 好耐，真係好耐都未試過聽過佢會用果種聲線同我講野。之後 1 pm 佢打黎叫我起身，問我累唔累，又問我有冇嬲佢成日唔陪我。我好婉轉咁話俾佢聽：「以前會嬲，但依家唔會」。但其實我背後的意思係「以前會嬲，係因為我仲好著緊你；但隨著你對我咁冷淡，我都開始心灰了，所以才慢慢對你無 love & hate」 My aunt came over @ 4:30 pm ~ n they probably will stay for the rest of the hoilda ! shit ! I really hate strangers in my house......I dun care if they are my relatives....to be frank, I really hate it ! If one day, anybody in my family gets a chance to read my msg here, I will still say it! I only accept my closest family members live w/ me, n no others ! even it was just a couple-day stay, this is killing me ! I avoid goin' downstairs for dinner, cox I dun wanna see them. They speak so fucking loud ! Come on ! plz behave ! this is not your house ~ can't u guys keep quiet? Therefore, it leads to a conclusion: I must earn as much money ASAP, and buy my own property. I dun wanna have face2face arguements w/ my aunt's family, as I dun wanna put my mum in a difficult position. The only way I can avoid the same thing happen in the future is to live on my own......sometimes, it's nice to see your beloved family once in awhile, but when you see them everyday, it is 100% guarentee that there must be conflicts. In this issue, I really dun wanna argue w/ my mum..... 10:30 pm ~ I used to watch 十兄弟 in TV but as the invaders were sitting in the family room ....I couldn't enjoy my programme ! I wanna kill them.....get out of my place ! watched 林海鋒 「是但 up」幾好笑 ~ thx Peter for lending it to me !
My dinner
>>April 10, 2007 at 2:21:25 PM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 5 日 星期四 【晴】 I worked on my research essay till 6am....so freaking tired >.<" woke up @ 12 , had brunch then took a bath n went to school. Had an individual consultation w/ my English prof., she was nice.....n I really wanna work my best to impress her, and more important, improvement in my English proficiency at the end. 3 : 15 Human sexuality class. The prof. told us a very very terrible "operation" done to young girls like 9 ~ 11 yr old....OMG ! really can't imagine such a horrible thing have been happening..... The following movie clip is so funny, check it out! >>April 6, 2007 at 9:31:20 AM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 4 日 星期三 【晴】 尋晚 2 點半打俾 Kenn ，佢話佢同朋友一齊搭緊車半個鐘後番屋企打俾我。咁我刷完牙整好晒野，一邊寫 essay 一邊等佢。等了一個鐘佢都無打黎但係我太頭痛，所以就打俾佢諗住同佢講話唔等，訓先。但打了第 1 次，無人聽 bor ; 咁咪打第 2 次，今次佢聽左但好快咁收左線話陣間覆番電話。一陣之後，佢打黎好噪咁話我做咩狂打俾佢，佢話頭先同個客講緊電話但俾 d 入線的聲搞到佢聽唔到個客講咩野，佢轉番線的時候個客已經收左線。個客又無留電話又 block 左 number ，搞到佢覆唔到電話俾佢。鬧完我之後，我講左句 sorry 就收線。我真係唔想同佢嘈，但我唔覺得係我錯 ! 我只係打 2 次嫁 ? 唔係咁都有問題 ? 我幾累都等佢電話等到真係頂唔順想同佢講聲姐 ~ 咁都有錯 ? 佢應承左半個鐘覆番我夠做唔到 la ! 嬲住咁訓.......... 10 : 30 Sabrina 打黎問 website d 野 ~ 晨早流流都唔知自己講左 d 咩野。要我係半清醒狀態下講英文真係有 d 難度 >.<" 訓到 11 : 30 ~ 食早餐 ~ 食食下無喇喇流鼻血，今次係左邊 >.<" 平時一向都係右邊嫁嘛.......沖涼，之後開電腦 check email 的時候發現今日果堂 Economic cancle 左 ~ 姐係得番 2 堂 web & graphic design。原本我就唔會番嫁喇，但應承左 Sabrina 番學校教佢野，所以都係番左。順手聽下個 prof. 評下我份 web brochure ~ yea ! 拎左滿分 ar ~ 佢俾 10+ 俾我，我問佢點解有個 "+" 佢話，如果他日我差一份就可以由 A 升去 A+ 的話，佢就會俾多一分我 wor ! Kenn 係 2 點幾打黎，講左幾句無聊野 la ~ 又交帶我幫佢買支 self-tan 番 hk ~ then 俾左個 kiss 我 la ~ 唉.......我又無咁嬲 la。不過無咁嬲就唔代表唔嬲，女人係易 tum 但唔代表唔記仇。一樣還一樣，除非佢知道自己錯 d 咩野，specificlly 咁為著果件事而 appologize 如果唔係我都會嬲嫁 ! 5 點番屋企 ~ 累。 Slept in front of the computer..... Watched American Next Top Model @ 8 ~ 9 pm Last snow in April ~"~
>>April 6, 2007 at 9:25:31 AM GMT+8 2007 年 4 月 3 日 星期二 【晴】 我估可能因為我成日都唔 update ~ 所以少左人黎睇
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look strange ><" what happen w/ my mouth? smiling or not smiling ga....
Msn photo
no longer young....I feel like 28 instead of 18| << 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 >> |
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