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2006 年 11 月 3 日 星期五 【晴】 woke up so damn early, I couldn't believe that I slept @ 4 am n woke up @ 8 : 50.....continue feeling bad abt his words, my damn fu*king unrealistic dream! Had breakfast >> study marketing >> chatting w/ Kenn >> went to school a bit earlier to get Toronto star >> Business lesson ( group activity, I had a hard time cox I gotta force myself to speak up n dun be shy.....but then, I was so not confident w/ my Eng ) >> Marketing lesson ( got my mid-term back, not as bad as I predict ~ 87.5 %, I might be the highest in the class. The prof has calculate 10 marks less! if I was not careful enough, I won't get those marks back! Got quiz 4 back also, 80 % only, I should have done better! the quiz on today was cancelled!!! shit ! I've been studying so hard! it's so damn unfair! Group presentation as a raided in-class activity, I looked so nervous! I kept telling myself dun do so many 小動作 but I kept bitting my lips, twisting my fingers, can't stand still, put my hands in pockets.....always look @ the teacher but not all the audiences.....) Mum drove me home, chatted w/ Kenn, slept together.....^^ it's so magic! I used to have sever headache 365 days a year....but after the 3-hour nap, it has gone! I've received Nana's letter today ~ so happy! I miz u so so so badly ! I also love the way that you're always so considerate n helpful ~ dun hesitate to share your worries w/ me! >>November 4, 2006 at 1:19:38 PM GMT+8 2006 年 11 月 2 日 星期四 【晴】 上了 2 小時的 Eng lesson，逃學回家.....skipped SSC and Maths....as everything is posted online, what's da point for attending classes? I could leave school @ 1 : 30; however, my mum gotta stay @ home, and wait for the delivery company to transpot a set of sofa for the living room, as they promised to be here between 1: 30 ~ 4 :00. Luckily, I met Felix n he gave me a ride ! Thanks so much ! I turned on the webcam right away ~ n laid on the bed, chatted w/ Kenn. He sounded so moody these days, I knew there must be sth goin' on but whenever I asked he just said he was fine. After half an hour, he finally couldn't stand anymore n allowed all his worries out ~ I was so disappointed abt myself, as I didn't even realize he felt that way. He blamed himself for being so useless, couldn't take care of me; many little things such as give me a ride, accompany w/ me when I am depressed, help me move heavy funiture...ect; he's so 大男人 ! He thought that he was not a good bf becox he couldn't accomplish the so-called "basic responsibilities" of a bf. I c his point, but I also understand the fact that we're living in different places, many things are limited geographically. I started to cry .......sigh ! I am a cry-baby......He also mentioned that we have been "seeing" each other for 3 weeks in HK, our base was not firm at all.....so it made our days even difficult......can 3-week together time can mentally support us to overcome 8-month waiting? we both agreed that this was a dream; a dream that we both dun want it to come to an end. We just wanna be childish n short-sighted, looking forward to the day we see each other again.....leave the rest alone, dun wanna think so much! I also released my pressure as being forced to be independent n mature during the days in Canada. I am so touched when he said that I am still 18 n capable to help out in lotz of stuff......so glad that @ least there are sby understand my situation.......I am so tired to handle household stuff plus my academy.....Anyhow, I feel a lot better after crying for a long time...I had a really good nap afterwards ! sigh ! no mood to study for marketing quiz tomorrow....... study till 2 am, called Kenn, he was consulting a foreign client; so I took a quick bath n waited for his call. >>November 4, 2006 at 1:14:45 PM GMT+8 2006 年 11 月 1 日 星期三 【晴】 slept @ 3 sth last night, woke up 9 this morning.....to I was kinda headache but I still wanna get up n get some more time to chat w/ Kenn. He seemed not in mood again......I wanna be a prefect gf ! I think, relationships in my age, should be 70 % illusions + 30 % reality......which meant, I was not that care abt whether my bf could be able to afford n be mature enough to take care me for the rest of my life.......the most important thing was the short-term happiness and support, let alone the long-term stuff. I was still 18, not yet to bother abt marriage. He finally received my letter, Thanks Nana ! always bothered u so much ! Read 10 pages of marketing chp 10 ~ test on Friday.....>.< sigh ! my busy days are coming......it's difficult to get started after the 1-week study week hoilday~ helped my bro to do his research on measles....then had dinner......
想起媽媽某日說的話： 「爸爸老了，你們要生生性性， 趁他還有能力照顧及供養你們， 你們就要好好把握時間會機會好好讀書， 畢業後自力更生。」 對！爸爸真的老了～最明顯的是他開始凹陷的雙眼，有皺紋的額頭和一條條銀絲。以前他為我做的小事，例如是修理電腦，辦手續，交學費；現在是我的職責了。有些時候，他反要倒過來問我如果處理這樣，處理那樣。我長大了，是時間承受更多的壓力，畢竟，我再辛苦也不及得上我父母的一半。 希望自己能以最佳的成績完成 college，早日回港照顧 dad ~ 不用他再為我操心了 ! >>November 2, 2006 at 3:47:16 PM GMT+8 2006 年 10 月 31 日 星期二 【晴】
woke up @ 6 : 30 ~ today is Halloween ! applied some simple make up then go to school for Maths @ 8 : 55 ~ I was late ~ well, just a couple minutes.....maths class are so boring........sigh ! but then, it's a good chance for me to get higher results n pull up my GPA ! I have an hour break, spent half of the time in the computer lab n talking w/ my babe Kenn. Did some practises on the coming up computer test on Powerpoint. Spent the rest of time w/ Annie & Steven, he was so damn rich ! he got a NDS ~ ! Business class on 11 : 40 ~ sigh ! I've got my mid-term back, not bad ~ I've got 92.7 % on it. The overall is 88 % ~ which means I've already passed this subject, even I dun write the final, so I won't have so much pressure on the finall exam ! but of cox, I will try my best to get an A in this subject ~ After business class, I went straight ahead to take the powerpoint test, wow ! I was so lucky ~ 95 % ! cool ~ I've finished all 6 tests on ICA ( computer programme ) n I've passed this subject ! I dun have to give a damn on it anymore ! It is guarnteed that 2 subjects in this semester have passed, cool ~ 4 more to go ! I am so damn worried abt marketing...... Went home then chatted w/ Kenn ....sleep 4 awhile then did some crazy make up ! I had my eyes all surrounded by black eyeshadow w/ matellic green for lower eyeline.....totally crazy n mad look !
I stood @ the door from 6 : 30 to 8 : 15 to distribute candies to all visitors ~ haha ! sby said that she liked my dress ! thanks ! I had successfully given out a big box of chips ( around 100 packets ) n lotz of candies & chocolates ! haha ~* 8 : 15, Kenn's fd, Peter arrived. He gave sth for me ( Kenn bought me sth, thx so much babe ! my new earphone w/ mic and my " spirit " ) n then asked me if I joined his fd to haunted house....um.....I phoned Kenn n asked for his permission.....he seemed not that happy but he still allowed me to go ~ then I asked my mum ~ she agreed 2 ! as we still had some time, we went to Peter house ( I didn't get into his house, just stayed in his car ) He took Pepper ( the cute dog dog below, she used to be Kenn's dog ~ he left his dog in Canada @ his fd's home as he gotta return to HK ) out n let me played w/ her in the car ~ haha ! She was not shy at all ~ the only secret to make her paid attention to me was food >...< but she was so nice n won't resist me to pick her up n hold her in my arms ~
9 : 00 set off towards the haunted house.( located @ 9th street , near Mc cowen) Met some new fds, Alex, Jackey, Jenny, ar 迪, ar 牛n 佢女朋友.....haha ~ I was called as " Kenzo -- Kenn 嫂 " kinda weird >...< $ 32 for 5 zones, so scary ........in the first zone, I kept screaming, 係又嗌唔係又嗌 ~ 壯膽嘛 ! 之後去行山，勁凍 law >...< 我凍到唔識講野.......d 爆炸聲好恐怖 ! 山上面有個迷宮，我地有好幾次都入左 bline alley ~ 好恐怖，無喇喇俾人捉住隻腳 !!!! ( d 工作人員一開始就 announce 左話 d actors & actresses 最多會行到好 close 但唔會 touch 你，所以你都唔好 touch 佢 ~ 有人捉我腳果陣時我真係好驚 ! 事後知道係自己人做 >...< ) 仲有幾條友拎住電鋸 ( of cox 唔係真係鋸得死人果 d 喇 ) ~ 雖然唔係真，但 d 聲 & d 電油味好臭，我發左顛咁係咁跑 >....< 仲有 d 路無喇喇有個 hold ，入面有 d 軟淋淋 ge 野......另一間屋，d 路好窄好黑，要摸住 walls 黎行 ~ 我 mung 住前面果個人件衫，仲有叫 Peter 行係我後面，要搭住我膊頭等我知道係我後面果個係人黎，唔係鬼 >.< 因為有隻鬼會吊住尾， ensure 我地成班人 were walking in the right way * 再去果個係 1 個 ride on the wagon....呢個係我認為咁多個之中最 scary ~ 亦都係我諗起 ar Kenn 諗得最多的時候 >..< 一開始個 ride無咩野，最多都係 d 無聊的人跟住架車尾，但之後就開始黎料 la ! 有人拍車 la ~ 之後又 cum 入架車入面；經過橋底，我以為條橋會 lum 落黎喇 ~ 點知咩野動靜都無喇，Peter 話我知其實有人 cum 左上車頂 ( 佢上 2 年都有黎過所以知 )之後無喇喇伸個頭落黎 ! 過左無耐以為車頂上 ge 人走晒 la ~ 點知無喇喇車頂揭開左，正正係我上面吊左個人落黎 ! shit ! 佢 d 假髮好 x 多泥，整到我成身都係 ~ 呢度都唔係最驚.....最驚 ge 係，有個男人 topless 的 ~ 全身搽晒 blood ~ 拎住電鋸扮殺人狂 la ! 佢係車外面的時候我都仲係好冷靜的，點知佢揀著我黎嚇 ! 佢拎住電鋸對住我不特止，仲擺個電鋸係我坐緊的 bench 隔離，好震.....好嘈....好驚 ! 佢上埋車，佢塊面對住我同我的 distance 係 5 cm i guess ! 我扮震定，以為佢會擰開塊面搵下個 target 點知佢仲係對住我，我就驚到伏低左係 Peter 個膊頭果度，過左幾秒我問佢 ：「隻野走左未ａｒ？」佢話：「仲未ａｒ！」嚇死我喇........落車的時候，有少少腳仔軟 >..< 最衰無得影相 la* 果度唔俾 ~如果唔係真係好想影低 post 出黎 ! 12 : 00 am ~ Peter drove me home, thanks a lot ! but then, my nightmare came.....not becox of the terrible experience in the haunted house; but Kenn was angry w/ me......I went home n I called him, he said he was having lunch, so I removed my make up while waiting for him, when he called me, I said I wanna take a bath 1st, so he waited for me. I didn't realize that I have spent 2 hours on bathing.....he was so mad n pizzed off becox of that....I knew he was tired n he wanna take a nap w/ me. He then lost his temper n said he won't turn on webcam for me anymore n he wanted hang up @ that moment. I was so scared n dun know how to react, I begged him to forgive me n turned on the webcam but he insisted......I gave up n said good night to him; I laid on the bed n typed SMS to him, when I was abt to send the sms, he phoned me back; he asked me y it took me so long n I explained......his temper got a bit calm n asked if he scared me off.......he coaxed me n soothed my nerves.....I then soon fell alseep.....it was a long day, and I was really tired ! Since I have been to Canada, I always travelled by car, seldom walk a lot like today...... >>November 2, 2006 at 3:34:40 PM GMT+8 2006 年 10 月 30 日 星期一 【晴】 Woke up @ 8 : 53 this morning, which is HK time 9 : 53 pm. I'm so glad that Kenn remember to call me n wake me up tho he was still working in salon! I had breakfast os that he could finish he work first. We chatted for awhile then I went to take a bath ~ 45 mins after shower, he has slept already >.< I called him in MSN via mic, no response. Then I phone him, he picked up his cell n said "hello?" then he just went back to sleep mode >.< I was in a hurry to school n finally, I was late.....anyways, it's not all his fault, but I was in a bad temper.......
::::::::::::::::::my dressing table::::::::: English class was boring.....students were devided into groups of 5 at the 2nd period, today's lesson was abt " PRONOUN ". You might think it was easy, but it was not easy for me. I've learnt some quite useful stuff during these 2 boring lessons.....w/ sleepy eyes.... During 2 hours break, I walked to Tim Hortons, which was located opposited my school. Got a French Vanilla ~Chatted w/ Kenn thr out the whole long break~ we covered some serious topics......When he knew that I have thought of commit suiside during the past few days, he was so worry n also angry abt me cox I didn't tell him such important things! I explained to him that I dun mean to hide myself, just becox I dun wanna make him get even more worried n stressed. people's words didn't help at all....no matter what they say, how many times they say, I am just da same. I like locking up myself in the dark alley, I dun wanna find the way out, I like being alone n embraced by the sadness n loneiness.....ya, I am mad, I am crazy, I am irrational......but anyways, I am glad that he wanna know how I think n he really care abt me. tho his words do not help to change my mind, I still wanna kill myself, I still have no confidence at all...... one thing that made me almost wanna cry was one of his lines, " I think it's better for you to get another bf here in Canada. cox u will be happier." hey ~ I am not a product, not a toy; if u think I always feel sad n u dun want me to b like that, then cheer me up by YOURSELF, not giving me to others ! 唔好唔要我........其實有冇男朋友係我身邊，我都會諗 d 唔開心既野。就算我幾忙都好，就算廿四小時有人同我講住野，陪住我，我都會諗埋一面。所以不是你的錯...... Marketing lessons ...so boring....I have forgotten that we had a quiz today ! FU*K ! hope I would do fine~* another test based on the new chp covered today was schdule on Friday....sigh ! how come so many quizzes?! Gave Steven his late birthday gift ~ hope he would like it ! Mum drove me home, she also bought 2 egg tart so that I could had my " lunch " on the way home ~!
Dun ask me why I dun reply you or dun call u back......the reason is so damn faltly simple, I dun wannt keep contact w/ u! I am in a relationship n I really dun wanna make things complicated. I love my bf, that's all I wanna say. >>November 2, 2006 at 12:34:16 AM GMT+8 2006 年 10 月 29 日 星期日 【晴】 10 點準時起身，1時出門口去 markville mall 買冬天要用的東西。老實說，我真的沒有心情去 shopping ~ Canada 的東西大部份也是很貴和很老土‥‥‥而且我的腦袋跟本不在狀態，由 study week 的開始到 study week 的最後一日，我拖左咁耐先迫於無奈出左去買野。我都未試過行街要被人「迫」我去.....anyways，今天的收獲是１對 boot ，１支 protective spray 和 2 條 denim ~ ( 79.99 + 8.59 + 50 ) * 1.14 = total price ~* 我以前好 easy 就可以 fit in 一條 27 腰的低腰褲，依家著 27 好勉強 >.<
你地覺得點樣 sip 傾褲腳會好睇 d ? 好似右腳「拋」左好多出黎，定係好似左引咁盡量 sip 晒入去 ?!
經過間 pet shop ~ 點解加拿大地方咁大，但係 d cage 都係咁細 ?! 好辛苦 d 狗狗 le >.<
做左陣數 ~ 之後 Kenn 打黎催我訓覺 ~ 沖埋個涼再傾多陣電話就訓 lu*
之前申請左 costco card 的時候無聊的自拍 睇緊我日記的朋友仔，如果有一日，我毀左容，咁你地仲會唔會睇我日記 ? 好想快 d 病好，好想快 d 可以真真正正無顧慮咁對住個鏡頭，好想好想可以 pick up 番 modeling....好想可以係呢方面做好 d ! 雖然我知道我無辦法將 modeling pursude as 一種終於職業，但起碼都俾我做一個業餘的 talent......天啊 ! 我仲有 d 咩野可以做 ? 食唔食果隻藥，我已經諗左好耐，我考慮左成年，都係因為隻藥的 side-effect 實在太大，而且好貴.......天啊 ! 唔好玩我喇 ~ 不如你收番我條命，唔好再係度折磨我喇 !
Women's Adidas Apollo 2 W have anybody seen a 100 % black of this model? I want one ar...n I wanna know how much in HK....thanks !
我一點也不溫柔，相反，我的個性十分剛烈。某程度上，我不喜歡跟人吵架，但不代表我接受他們的立場；但若果某些 concept 我認為是對我十分重要，我就定會跟他爭論到底 ! Kenn 也是一個這樣的人，他有自己的一套，近來心情很差，更加和他句句針鋒相對‥‥‥他這幾晚因為我的關係所以很晚才睡，我和他的心情也不見得好，誰也沒有耐性去 tum 對方.......唉 >>October 30, 2006 at 2:17:58 PM GMT+8 2006 年 10 月 28 日 星期六 【晴】 尋晚做做下數開始出現幻覺‥‥‥我唔知道邊 d 係真邊 d 係假；我聽到音樂聲，但我知道係假的；我總係覺得有好多野會發生．．．．我打俾 Ken ~ 佢做緊野，好忙，同時間「騎」住 5 個 clients.....我唯有同自己講，一切都係幻覺......唔知點幾訓左，到底我有冇訓過呢 ? 今朝 9 : 18 ~ Ken 打黎 ! 雖然個人好累，但係傾傾下就醒 la* 沖個涼就出街 ~ 佢見到我個頭濕晒，千叮萬囑叫我要吹乾 d 個頭先好出街 ~ sweet ! 我錫左佢好多下先出門口~ haha ~ 係黃金商場的 Jade travel 出左機票 ，其實係邊間出都無咩分別，因為都係公價 ~* 之後去 Z.O.D 果度食 japanese & western fusion food ~ 3 個人叫左 2 個 set ~ $ 27.xx 都幾飽下 ! went to Loblaws ~ This was out of my expectation ! cox I though we should return home as said be4. Anyways, we went there and I phoned Kenn telling him abt the change. He said he would wait me to call him when I reached home. A incident happened, we need to return sth @ the customer service; it took me so long....I was a bit impatient cox I wanna get home ASAP. When I got home it was already 4 : 30 ~ so sorry for keeping him wait till late.....>.< This led to the coming conflict and arguements between me and my mum...... 食晚飯的時候，媽咪再次提及「dad has spent a lot on u & bro, u guys should do the best becox of that」我重返校園，已經比起我高中時期讀書的態度認真左好多，努力左好多 ! 我有為左我的將來打算 ~ 點解 ?! 點解佢睇唔到我的努力 ? 媽咪淨係識話我日日同 Kenn 係度傾電話 / 開住 cam 玩 msn ~ 覺得我好似將佢擺左係第 1 位；但其實我係 balance 左學業，屋企人，家務，男朋友‥‥‥每樣野我都希望做得好好睇睇，我真係盡左力！細佬有功課唔明，我教佢；媽咪要煮飯，我會幫手；自己換床單，吸塵；用完的杯杯碟碟自己洗；每日洗＋切好ｄ水果俾屋企人食；幫媽咪處理網上銀行的事務；媽咪 drive 的時候幫佢留意路面情況；係電話果度幫ｄａｄ解決電腦問題；自己跟貼Ｄ學校每一個 critical date；做 Kenn 的人肉記事簿‥‥‥或者我真係仲有空間可以進步，可以再迫得自己緊ｄ，唔好咁懶散。用盡一日廿四小時．．．．． 我沒有將我的煩惱說出來，因為我知道每個人也有自己的煩惱；我很希望能夠為媽咪分擔，同時避免製造麻煩。 我對面屋有條友，成 x 日都係度打 basketball ~ 我唔係誇張，依家出面得番幾度，佢日 x 日係出面果度射籃 ~ 朝早晨咁早係度打，evening 又係度打，落雨又打.......傻嫁 ! 我就算俾果 d 籃板聲整到我精神崩潰 !
>>October 30, 2006 at 8:50:29 AM GMT+8 2006 年 10 月 27 日 星期五 【晴】 漸漸習慣獨處的日子；香港的朋友，我知佢地要應付 A-level；係澳洲的伊琳，我知佢為揀科的事好煩惱‥‥‥我係ｈｋ的時候一向都同ｄ朋友唔算太 close ~ 依家更加少 contact 係意料中的事。我性格本身就係唔鐘意同人 get 2 close....我太多顧慮了 !有心同我做朋友的都被我嚇走晒.....適應左同 d 死物做朋友，對住電腦 n piano 多過對似 human beings ~ 可能你地以為我係度怨，但其實咁樣都無咩所謂....我樂得清靜。應酬的工夫，還是偶爾出去蒲下頭就算。我覺得我已經 miss 左識 d 「一世知己」的黃金時間；人愈大，機心愈重，提防人的本能反應也愈趨成熟．．．．但我亦明白到，男朋友始終係男朋友，我成日都要求我男朋友做埋知己的角色；但有ｄ野始終係同同性朋友講會比較好。 唔知道，將來我的喪禮，會有邊個出席呢？
This man is so awsome....his eyes have taken away my soul..... >>October 28, 2006 at 11:27:59 PM GMT+8 2006 年 10 月 26 日 星期四 【晴】 Today is great ! woke up @12 ~ so lazy....took bath then went out to Domainions...cool ! I bought many stuff ! I was so happy that my 心算 helped me a lot for price-saving ^^ then booked a air-ticket ~ $ 1555 ! will confirm w/in 3 days ~ bought some other glosary in 兆豐 @ 黃金商場 took a nap for abt 1.5 hours ~ 7 woke up for dinner ~ ai...I was so lazy ! I slept so much how come I still felt sick?! 肥左好多 le ~ 我依家條腰 26 ~ 個 hip 35 !!!!! 天啊 ! 我要叫Annie & steven 提我減肥 la~ Kenn 話佢覺得我最 sexy 的位係個 hip bone ~ 死喇 ! 會唔會肥到唔見左嫁 ?!
全身又唔覺得真係肥左咁多 ~ 因為有咁厚 ge 衫遮遮掩掩嘛 ^^ 但 summer 番 hk 的時候點算 ?! 依家著衫好求其，總之暖就得 la* 其實我不嬲都唔貪靚 ~ 屋企冇咩衫著...... 係剛剛過左去果個 summer 但我始終好鐘情【黑色】所以我d 衫 always 黑媽媽咁 ~ 好多人都同我講，「勸喻」我應該趁後生， 著多 d 花 look look 少少 ge 野 ~ 唔好成日都著死 1 種色， 來來去去都係果個 cool look ~ well.... sorry 我還是喜歡這樣子。 仲有 ~ 塊面仔係呃唔到人的 >.< 就算化左妝都係肥面...... BTW ~ d 頭髮真係又長又厚....... >>October 27, 2006 at 10:52:46 PM GMT+8 2006 年 10 月 25 日 星期三 【晴】 woke up @ 9: 45 ~ wait for Ken's call...but he didn't call....had breakfast @ 11. My new love, Yamaha U3 upright piano has arrived ! tho it was older than me ( it was a 22-year-old 2nd-hand piano) but it sounded fine ~ I think it was better than the one in HK ~ played piano ~ 4hours.....crazy.......I just missed it ......I guessed this Yamaha would become my good fd.......
>>October 26, 2006 at 3:36:12 PM GMT+8
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大名： ashley
唉 ~ 肥到無眼睇 !
哨牙大粒墨癦袁佩婷人氣: 414433
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