2010 年 4 月 12 日 星期一 【晴】

ad hoc 約朋友去了行街

晚上替朋友 tarot

祝她一切安好

:)

>>April 15, 2010 at 1:01:33 AM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 11 日 星期日 【晴】

今天有四位朋友生日

hy, e, j, s

祝你們開開心心

身體健康

:)


quote from 'mimi tanner'

a good reminder

"If I could wave a magic wand and change one
thing about many women and how they handle
their dating relationships, it would be
this one thing - don't focus on this goal
of getting "serious." Remind yourself that
it's YOUR life that's serious and that you
are far better off taking plenty of time
to get to know him and evauate how compatible
you and he would be IF you were ready for
something "serious."

Let's replace "serious" with "spontaneous" as
your goal for the moment-to-moment interaction
with someone you like. Enjoy without analyzing.
Have more fun and less sitting by the phone.
Live your life and make it yours - don't let
your feelings depend on how he responds."

quoted from christian carter

" They're BELIEFS because a woman actually
believes these to be true about herself and her
life.

You can't just "wing it" unfortunately.

Here are just a few:

>>I don't let a man determine what I want/will
have in my love-life.

This kind of woman won't "settle" for a man who
isn't giving her what she wants and needs,
emotionally.

>>I'd move on and leave a man before I'd let him
ruin my life.

This woman won't stay in a relationship that's
abusive, degrading or morally questionable. She
also won't put up with bad behavior from a man.
Integrity and trust are important to her, and she
lets him know that.

>>I wouldn't keep a man from doing the things he
enjoys.

She knows that her man is an adult who has the
right to make his own choices. She respects his
"freedom" and his need to pursue his goals and
dreams."

>>April 12, 2010 at 4:13:29 PM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 10 日 星期六 【晴】

今天一位朋友向我道歉

很 appreciate

因為好像在這個年代

不知是否因為人大而 ego 大的問題

很多時人總是側側膊

當無事便算

這次他 say sorry

反而加了分

不過我想我們只能做朋友

thanks for liking me though :)

>>April 12, 2010 at 3:30:31 PM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 9 日 星期五 【晴】

今天是朋友 c 的大日子

祝百年好合

原本我不覺得特別開心

不過到了晚上

突然覺得這也可能是他們的方式

anyway

祝快樂

也謝謝你們的服裝和化妝提供

:)


之後去了朋友的生日會

發生了很奇怪的事情

我感受到一些東西從生了两年怪病的新認識朋友處

嘖進了我的口和喉嚨裡

然後我的喉部覺得很 'lar'

好像被一些酸性的東西燒著

像 acid burn

然後我突然不能說話

也不能呼吸

很恐怖

那刻我覺得可能我會就這樣啞了

跑去喝了很多杯開水

沒有好轉

火燒的感覺蔓延到支氣管

完全不能說話

失去聲音

那壺水給我喝光

沒好轉

refill 來了一壺冰水

喝下後感覺好了一些

然後跑到洗手閒嘔了很多東西

直到胃部不能再嘔

嘔過後聲音突然慢慢開始回來

能說回話

不過感覺到喉部和氣管還是怪怪的

回家做了兩次 oil pulling

喝了幾杯水

未來幾天看來要排一下毒

星期二原本約了她

當時她邀請我去她家

不知為何我當時覺得很 uneasy

看來還是先好好休息一陣子

遲些再與她見面吧......

但又怕傷害她的感受.....

hm..............

>>April 11, 2010 at 5:14:20 AM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 8 日 星期四 【晴】

謝謝 r 的生日飯

謝謝那位把鞋子擦得很亮的小提琴伯伯

讓我有一個很愉快的 start of the day

:)


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
“Relationship Needs Assessment.” This assessment determines what you need in a relationship across nine key factors:

Interdependence Intimacy
Self-Efficacy Relationship Readiness
Communication Conflict Resolution
Sexuality Attitudes About Love
Preferred Expressions of Affection

Your report gives you valuable feedback on each of these factors in several special ways. Based on your unique answer patterns, you first receive a synopsis of what you need in a relationship on each factor. To help you address these issues in actual practice, your report also contains a customized set of questions for you to consider asking or exploring with potential dating partners to determine the degree to which a person may meet those unique needs. In other words, you have guidance for understanding and exploring what it takes for someone to be “relationship material” with you.

Finally, the assessment reveals any specific issues that you seemed especially to under-value or over-value. These are likes and dislikes that are often hidden from your awareness, but they can strongly affect your relationship decisions. Enjoy your report, contemplate the information and insights it provides and good luck in applying the results here at the Plenty of Fish community!
peachy-peachy, Your Assessment is below

Interdependence
Interdependence refers to how much you need dependency or a “couple identity” with your partner. You are moderately interdependent in a relationship. This means that you desire a good degree of physical and emotional connection with a partner. And you absolutely are drawn to someone whom you can respect and even emulate to some degree. In fact, it is quite common for a person in this score range to consider how your romantic partner would reflect on your family and friends. This all does not mean that you do not need personal space now and then; nearly everyone values being unique and different from others in some respects. However, people in this range draw strength, comfort and a strong sense of identity from their close relationships. Thus, when you feel close to someone this person becomes an extremely important part of who you are on the inside and outside. You probably prefer that you and your partner’s recreational activities be shared together since you like having your partner physically close and you desire showing off your “couplehood” in public. Bottom line: you need someone who likes frequent physical and emotional connection like you do, but who helps keeps dependency in check in the relationship so that you two do not lose your identities as individuals.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “interdependency” needs with potential partners:

“Do you think couples can ever get to the point when they spend too much time together? – and if so, how do you know when that point is?”

“How much time away from a lover do you think you need in a given week? – and what kinds of things do you like to do for yourself during your free time?”

“What really makes a date or any time with a partner truly special for you?”

Intimacy
Intimacy refers to the how much you need emotional closeness with your partner. You are clearly comfortable with giving and receiving emotional intimacy. You long for emotional closeness and security with a special person, and you tend to be open with a partner in return. That openness includes lessons learned from your past experiences and relationships, extending trust, believing your partner returns your feelings and devotion and being generally comfortable with surrendering yourself to a partner. In fact, you probably would feel uncomfortable if there were serious secrets between you and your partner. Likewise, you probably regard a partner as your best friend and your foremost confidant. There is likely no hesitation discussing current problems or concerns with that person. It also seems that you have realistic expectations for a committed relationship. However, you may find yourself wondering whether your partner’s feelings are equally as strong as yours. Still, people in this scoring range are willing to take the risks associated with being vulnerable on many levels. Bottom line: you need someone who desires and reciprocates intimacy as much as you do.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “intimacy” needs with potential partners:

“Have you tended to avoid arguments with past partners or is it more like you to talk about all types of the feelings and concerns you have?”

“Do you think couples should always be open and honest with each other, or are there things that it is okay to hold back?”

“Can you talk and share on an intimate level as well as you listen to a friend in need?”

Self-efficacy
Self-Efficacy refers to your self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation. People at your scoring level feel assertive and expressive most of the time and strive to maintain a positive attitude. You likely find that having plans and structured goals help motivates and guides your personal and professional development. Many people in this scoring range are visionary in their ambitions, but they can be highly self critical. Indeed, you are likely to be acutely aware of your own strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, it probably helps for you to hear praise and recognition, as well as have measurable goals and benchmarks in order to feel competent in your decisions and actions and to achieve a strong sense of accomplishment. Bottom line: you need someone who is extremely supportive of your goals by showing patience and a positive outlook and who also frequently acknowledges and praises your small and large accomplishments.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “self-efficacy” needs with potential partners:

“Do people need to fish for compliments from you, or are you the kind of person who frequently gives spontaneous acknowledgements and praise to others?”

“What are the most important responsibilities in a friendship?”

“Do you think success in life is largely a matter of good organization or largely a matter of luck?”

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

I think highly of myself. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you are immodest, that you are egotistical or that you are unconcerned with self improvement. On the positive side, it could mean that you do not question your self worth and personal competence, that you are not self critical or that you are an overachiever in some aspects.

Issues you seem to Under-value

I know my own strengths and weaknesses. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you are overly self-centered and egotistical, that you are not willing to take risks and try new experiences or learn new things or that you have unrealistic ideas. On the positive side, it could mean that you contemplate your abilities, that you have a realistic understanding of yourself or that you are humble.

Relationship readiness
Relationship Readiness refers to how prepared you are emotionally, psychologically and pragmatically for a committed relationship. In some ways, you may not be fully ready for a committed relationship. You seem to feel a fair degree of comfort and grounding in your life right now. In fact, most people in this range have a clear vision and a sense of purpose for their life. They also feel in control, but sometimes that sense of control can be fleeting or a false sense of security. For example, it is often the case that people in this scoring range need to address unresolved issues that can interfere with them having the life and relationship they want. These could be financial or legal issues or even physical, emotional or health issues. It may also be the case that you are seeking a relationship primarily to fill a void in your life or to gain a feeling of acceptance and belonging that was weakened or lost due to other relationships that ended or disappointed you. Bottom line: you need someone who will be patient and supportive as you figure out your needs rather than who will rush the relationship prematurely.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “relationship readiness” needs with potential partners:

“Responding candidly, what are your strengths and weaknesses as a friend?”

“What are the most important responsibilities you have to a romantic partner?”

“Do you feel offended or rejected when a partner asks for time, space or privacy to take care of some personal business?”

Communication
Communication refers to your approach to interpersonal interactions and level of emotional intelligence. Effective communicators have strong emotional intelligence, and you have the necessary foundation for strong emotional intelligence. People in this scoring range enjoy the learning opportunities of most challenges and are not afraid of making or admitting to mistakes. It is brave to show this level of vulnerability to others. Therefore, it is not surprising that you are sensitive to and accepting of other people’s expressions of vulnerability. For example, you can likely sense when someone feels troubled before being told. However, your sensitivity has limits. Most in this scoring range are neither comfortable nor patient with all expressions of emotion. They also are not keenly aware of all of the types of nonverbal signs that people send out nor are they always cognizant of how their own behavior impacts others. It is likely that you seek for others to understand you, rather than you seek to understand others. Bottom line: you need someone who seeks to understand you, thereby accepting an equal share of responsibility in maintaining open and honest communication in the relationship.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “communication” needs with potential partners:

“Do you tend to ask your romantic partner questions when you suspect s/he is upset, or is it more comfortable for you simply to allow them space to work it out alone?”

“Do you prefer to talk through issues in the heat of the moment, or approach your partner after you have had time to cool off and think about how best to explain what is on your mind?”

“Which sounds like a more appealing way to spend some free time: going out to see friends with your partner or staying alone at home with your partner talking about each other?”

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

I pause for a moment to reflect on what a person has said before reacting or responding. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you try to avoid conflict or that you are not assertive or open with your thoughts and feelings. On the positive side, it could mean that you do not jump to conclusions, that you are not a “black-or-white” thinker, that you are not judgmental and that you give others the benefit of the doubt.

Conflict resolution
Conflict Resolution refers to your stress management and problem solving skills. Effective conflict resolution has nine general elements: View Conflict as Positive; Address Conflict in the Proper Atmosphere; Clarify Perceptions; Note Needs, not wants; Draw on the Power of a Positive Partnership; Focus on the Future, then learn from the past; Identify Options for Mutual Gain; Develop ‘Doables’ or stepping stones to action; and Make Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. Your score indicates that you are fairly strong on all of these basic elements, except for Making Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. This suggests that you are very flexible and action-oriented when addressing problems, yet not so eager to find resolution that you settle for quick, temporary agreements. Settling on a temporary agreement is often a way of avoiding conflict, and it can lead to needs not being met. You do not seem to avoid conflict; instead you appear to evaluate the possible solutions and then actively engage your partner to work on a positive outcome for the relationship. Bottom line: you need someone who will join you in taking time to find a complete and genuine resolution to issues as opposed to avoiding conflict by settling for quick, temporary agreements.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “conflict resolution” needs with potential partners:

“Would you say that you have a hard time accepting that some mysteries in life just can not be solved? Explain”

“Does it help you to solve problems by thinking of your own past experiences and knowledge in new ways?”

“In your experience, does knowing too much about a problem hinder or help you resolve it?”

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

I generally act on the first idea that comes to mind in solving a problem. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you are not flexible or creative, that you like to avoid conflict, that you focus on what is easy versus what is right or that you tend to rush to judgment. On the positive side, it could mean that you are decisive, that you do not over think or over analyze information or that you do not procrastinate in addressing issues.

Issues you seem to Under-value

I feel that conflict is a negative experience. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you have an unrealistic view of current life events and circumstances. On the positive side, it could mean that you do not have difficulty maintaining an optimistic outlook, that you have no emotional baggage from past relationships, that you give others the benefit of the doubt or that you have good self esteem.

Sexuality
Sexuality refers to your needs (frequency, boundaries, expressions) related to physical intimacy. Scientific models of love and attachment always include physical chemistry and sexuality. It is a crucial topic for any couple to address, because it involves issues of control and vulnerability. People at your scoring level have a firm sense of their sexual orientation, preferred sexual activities and comfort level. You like sex that is romantic, adventurous and fun, but for you sex is not a casual event. Sex has great importance in your relationship, and it is reserved for someone you love. You may think your sexual preferences would be viewed as conservative by others, but you are no prude. You are confident in your own sexual ability and are open to try various activities. In fact, you probably like to experiment actively. A defining characteristic of people in this scoring range is their willingness to be vulnerable and relinquish control in the bedroom to their partners. In other words, you are not sexually selfish – you like to focus on pleasing your partner and submitting to his/her desires. Bottom line: you need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates being the center of attention in the bedroom.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “sexual” needs with potential partners:

“Would you eagerly talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies?”

“Is it like you to direct your partner what to do in bed so s/he knows best how to please you?”

“In your mind, is there any difference between ‘having sex’ and ‘making love’?”

Attitudes toward love
Attitudes Toward Love refers to your level of needs for romantic love and friendship love. There are two main types of love – Romantic Love and Companionate Love. Romantic Love is passionate, emotional and intense, whereas Companionate Love is a deep, affectionate attachment. People feel these two types of loves to different degrees in a relationship, and the levels of each can fluctuate over time. You scored as someone who may be best described as "a realist with a touch of hopeless romantic.” This means that you do value Romantic Love, but for you a relationship must have a strong dose of Companionate Love. Thus, people in this scoring range typically believe that differences can be overcome and lasting love can be sustained if the couple does the hard of work of consistently showing mutual understanding and accommodation. In this sense, it is likely that you believe soul mates are made, not born. Bottom line: you need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “love attitude” needs with potential partners:

“Do you believe that the best kind of love grows out of strong friendship?”

“In your opinion, how can a couple overcome differences on issues like religion, ethnicity, politics or social class?”

“When it comes to a romantic partner, how would define someone who is unusually well adjusted?”

Preferred Expressions of Affection
Preferred Expressions of Affection refers to your likes and dislikes for different ways a partner can express love and devotion. There are many ways in which people show affection to their loved ones: physical touch, doing favors, spending time together, giving gifts or communicating love through words. Statistically, you gave higher weighted ratings to Actions. Bottom line: You need someone who can express affection through simple or grand acts of kindness – such as helping you out around the house, running errands for you or doing favors without being asked.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “affection” needs with potential partners:

“In what ways – if any – do you like for a partner to depend on you?”

“Have you offered to throw a party for someone? – if so, why did you take on that responsibility?”

“What are some things you have done for other people that they would say were the most thoughtful?”

Out of the various modes of expressing affection, Time spent together received lower weighted ratings from you. Bottom line: This does not mean that you neither like nor need time with a partner. Rather, it suggests that you need someone who can show affection in ways other than just spending time with you – such as talking at home, taking leisurely strolls outside or extended road trips.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “affection” needs with potential partners:

“Have you ever taken off work early to spend some special with your partner or a loved one?”

“Have past partners consistently complained that you would frequently call to say you were running late for a date?”

“How much alone time during the week do you need with a partner to feel satisfied?”

>>April 9, 2010 at 2:50:40 PM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 7 日 星期三 【晴】

完成了 final exam of chem

kekekeke

yeah

finally moving into homeopathy next week :)

>>April 8, 2010 at 4:53:09 PM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 6 日 星期二 【晴】

繼續讀書

最近每天鬧鐘 0730 響過後

都翻睡至中午才起床

看來明天要把窗廉打開才行

>>April 8, 2010 at 4:00:46 AM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 5 日 星期一 【晴】

留在家讀書

>>April 8, 2010 at 3:58:42 AM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 4 日 星期日 【晴】

清明節

跟家人去拜山

黃昏去了踏單車

怎料給一名胡亂行駛的女士完全不煞制的撞埋來

幸好我已經煞了車

但前胎的 ling 彎了

破財 130 hkd 把整條 ling 換

激死.....-_-

不過也因為這樣

好像碰見以前小時候沙田單車店的一個人

但不太肯定

anyway

幸好手腳只瘀了少許

>>April 6, 2010 at 6:29:48 AM GMT+8

2010 年 4 月 3 日 星期六 【晴】

想去了多年的天光墟

想不到昨晚 ad hoc 跟朋友去了

很開心喔

雖然時間我們好像太早了

0330

先去大角嘴深水埗玉石市場臨時街市

但他們才剛開檔

應該 0500 去較理想

之後步行到旺角

路經雷生春

再去界限街公園看金魚

由於時間尚早

所以去了對面街的公園打鞦韆

0535

看金魚龜龜蜥蝪樹蛙

應該 0600 才來會較為理想

然後再到紅磡的天光墟

來到已 0640

看著他們收檔了

下次 0530 抵達會最理想

之後我們去了油麻地舊式酒樓

德如酒樓喝早茶

好像小時侯深水埗的有男茶樓喔!

很喜歡這晚的行程

謝謝 l 和很高興認識了其他的新朋友

:)

>>April 4, 2010 at 11:07:31 AM GMT+8