2009 年 6 月 21 日 星期日 【晴】

晚上看了陰道獨白

這個香港 adaptation adapt 得蠻不錯

把陰道本土化了很多

喜歡琴姐

:)



quoted from Mirabelle Summer

"The Secret To Evaluating Guys...

Have you ever been burned by a seemingly decent guy who turned out
to be a jerk? Any woman in the dating scene will inevitably
encounter AT LEAST one man who'll claim to be someone he's not.

Like Dr. House (from the wickedly funny show of the same name)
says, "everybody lies". There are men out there with the nasty
habit of selling themselves as this awesome guy, only to leave
their victims with a serious case of remorse afterwards.

This unexpected turn of events can leave a baffled woman with a
couple of unpleasant choices: should she cut her losses and go back
to being single, or should she just accept that she got more than
what she bargained for?

Trust me, we've all been there. There's nothing quite as
traumatizing as finding out how much of a schmuck he is AFTER
you've already committed yourself to him.

Sometimes, the disillusionment can make you jaded enough to swear
off men for a long time. But before you start casting the entire
male species in a negative light, you should consider a few things.

First of all, can you really begrudge a guy for being the BEST
version of himself? It's natural for men to play up the best parts
of themselves while downplaying their not-so-desirable traits.

Think about it for a second: if you were at a job interview, would
you spill the beans about the time you mistakenly sent a mass reply
to an email meant for a few select friends?

Your would-be employer wouldn't assume that you're 100% perfect,
but talking about those things wouldn't be professional, right?

In the same way, a guy wouldn't want to scare you on the first date
by telling you about his past relationships right off the bat. I
don't think you'd be inclined to disclose your ENTIRE life history
in one sitting either.

The funny thing about this is that no one is truly at fault even if
your guy does more than saving the dirty laundry for later.
Believe it or not, YOU can actually FORCE him into a position where
he has NO other CHOICE but to falsely represent himself in order to
win your approval.

Depending on the way you steer the conversation, he could either be
pressured to tell an outright lie or NATURALLY reveal some things
about himself.

As a woman, it's totally reasonable to rule out any deal-breaking
traits before getting serious with him. However, the WAY you do it
can force him to choose between telling you the truth...

...and telling you only what you WANT to hear.

In short, your method of getting to the truth can put him in a
situation where he'll have to decide which lesser EVIL to go with.
He'll risk losing you if he owns up to his flaws; on the other
hand, he'll have to deal with his guilt if he chooses to LIE.

Therefore, today's question is this: How do you get a man to tell
you what he's really like in order to save yourself the grief of
unpleasant surprises later on?

Furthermore, what's the best way to get the truth without making
him DEFENSIVE at the same time? After all, he'll only be inclined
to be honest if it won't incriminate him.

The most obvious way to do this is by making your inquiries seem
like CASUAL questions rather than a direct investigation of his
character. He won't exactly feel relaxed or encouraged to give
honest answers if you turn the date into a full-blown Spanish
inquisition.

If you phrase your questions in a way where giving the "right"
answers will increase his chances of winning you over, you may not
get the actual truth.

For instance, let's say that you want to know where he stands on
the matter of fidelity. Take a look at the following scenario:

You: "Tell me, are you the kind of guy who pretends to be faithful
and then cheats on his girlfriend behind his back?"

Him: "Um....no?"

OBVIOUSLY, he'll tell you what you want to hear, but that offers NO
REAL assurances.

If you REALLY wanted to know what he thinks about the issue, a less
direct or threatening approach would work much better. Check this
out:

"I had lunch with my friends the other day, and we were debating
over what guys really think about sticking to one partner at a
time. Is the idea of having only one romantic interest at a given
point in time THAT scary to most guys?"

Now, what you've done here is restructured your question in a way
that isn't deceptive but is just as good at evaluating his
character.

Only a brainless woman would let the next guy into her life simply
because he's available; you're totally entitled to finding out
whether he matches you or NOT.

To weed out the good from the bad, make a more considered
evaluation with the help of this course:

http://www.meetyoursweet.com/recommends/wantmore

Would a bank manager hire an applicant if she knew he was going to
rob them blind during the first day on the job? Of course not.

That's why there's nothing wrong with being smart about dating, or
looking out for your interests in a reasonable context. You'll
have a better shot of being in a stable, happy relationship the
sooner you've verified his REAL credentials.

The key is to avoid being too BLUNT or DIRECT with your questions.
Don't make him feel like he's in the middle of your crosshairs.

Going back to our last question, aiming a BROAD inquiry about what
men think in GENERAL won't set off any alarms in his mind.
Instead, he'll have the flexibility of giving you his observation
of his fellow guys.

However, telling you what he thinks of what OTHER people think will
still tell you something about him. He's basically giving you
information that he would have otherwise concealed if you asked him
differently.

For example, if he says something like, "Well, most guys I know
would probably say they'd rather have multiple girlfriends, but
that's not really my style you know?"

Bingo! Not only will he NOT feel trapped by your question, his
statement will also clue you in on what he really thinks. His
harmless observation is actually a REFLECTION of his specific
opinion.

On another note, it won't hurt to train yourself to have a higher
level of AWARENESS while you're with a new guy. Get used to
keeping track of what you're feeling throughout the duration of a
date.

What a lot of women don't realize is that having an objective view
will keep your better judgment from being caught up in the
emotional rush of a budding relationship. Go ahead and enjoy, but
it doesn't hurt to be "cautiously happy".

That's different from being paranoid of course; all I'm saying is
that being smart means asking yourself if the possibility of being
in a relationship with him is a good or bad thing.

If you believe that he's the kind of guy who makes you feel
important, respected, and generally at ease to be around, then good
for you. The point here is that you're THINKING about these things
instead of BLINDLY diving into a relationship.

It's perfectly fine to feel those butterflies in your stomach AS
LONG AS you keep some part of yourself unbiased. The idea is to
avoid wallowing in self-denial or turning a blind eye in case your
guy raises any "red flags".

When you think about it, all you really need is to keep a sensible
head on your shoulders as you enjoy the company of a guy. Whether
or not he turns out to be "The One", having a PRACTICAL outlook
will help you avoid a lot of future headaches."

>>June 23, 2009 at 3:23:46 AM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 20 日 星期六 【晴】

父親節快樂!

平常沒有這麼重視這個節日

今年不知是因為 tv ad 還是 radio ad 的關係

好像很有 noise

CR2 的父親節聽眾 phone in sound byte edit 得很好

雖然 sensational 但很感動很好聽

想起爸爸

哭了

記得跟 n 拍拖的時候

出席他表妹在法國的婚禮

他們在小教堂裡行禮

而我當時也有幻想他日如果跟 n 結婚的時候爸爸會是帶我進場的人

又想起 n 說想去 montreal

而我倆打算翌年去

不過還沒詳細討論細節便已分開了

跟 j 一塊的時候也想過結婚

基本上每次拍拖也會想著跟那人結婚

當時還在 wonder 爸爸能否回來香港行禮

還是我過加拿大

怎料爸爸過身了

當時還想著會嫁給 j

因此希望他能陪我過去看看爸爸的遺體

因為這個是我有可能嫁的人

希望讓爸爸先看看他

也不想他倆第一次見面爸爸便已化為灰燼

怎料跟 j 也散了

現在

我不知道會否結婚

只知道爸爸一定不能帶我進場

不過他的 energy 總在的吧!


想不到

今天還會繼續流淚........


父親節快樂 :)

>>June 22, 2009 at 3:56:13 AM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 19 日 星期五 【晴】

jing jing

我好喜歡你喔!

加分 200

^_^

>>June 22, 2009 at 3:56:28 AM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 18 日 星期四 【晴】

quoted from Pravs world

"Be Kind To All
While collecting shells washed up on the beach,
you will see a few that are fragile, and you might neglect them as unworthy.

But once these shells are very beautiful.
You don’t know what kind of journey the had to take to get them in there fragile shape.

Same with people. Don’t neglect them if they seem unworthy.
You never know what journey they had through life. Be kind to all."

>>June 19, 2009 at 1:51:14 AM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 17 日 星期三 【晴】

pole dance 第二課

舊動作

1) 行 ---> 右手拿 pole, step 左腳, 向 pole 內轉, 左手扶 Pole, 放左手, 右腳 Point 腳繼續行 ---> Swing
右手扶 Pole, 右步, 左步, 右步, 左腳 jump n fig 然後 click 在pole 上, 左手輕輕扶 pole, 轉至地下, 左腳在右腳下, 後躺, point 腳, 踏單車然後把腳自然踏出, 轉身面向地下, kick 遠離 Pole 的腳, child post, 扶 Pole, 起上身, 右腳 forward over 90 度, 左後腳伸直 point toe, 拉左腳到右腳旁, 起身

2) Chair

3) 雙手扶 pole, 上腹挨在 pole 上, 吸氣, 雙腳 point toe, knee wide apart, raise up the body


新動作

1) 引體上升
雙手放在 pole 上, 不要反手, 不要扶太高, 跟 shoulder 約成 90 度高少少, 上腹挨在 pole, 吸氣, 呼氣, 手臂用力把正個人垂直向上升

2)Front Hook
右手扶 Pole, 身體 parallel to pole, knee up 右腳 point toe, 前踢伸直, tark, 右腳 knee back 高約腰位置, hook pole, 左腳 knee高約腰位置, knee 盡量分開, point toe, flex back, head back, 右手放鬆, 向右 swing, 自然落地, 右手爬前, 左手在 pat pat 後, 左手再爬前比右手前一點點, chest on ground, 上身向前 slide to ground, 右腳 kick back 到 pole 的另一邊, 舉高 pat pat, chest slide back, child post, hold post, 起身

3) Swing 行
右手扶 pole, 身體 away from pole, swing 著行右腳, 左腳, 右腳

4) End post
右手扶 pole, 右腳踏步, swing 左腳 180 度, 曲膝成約 90 度, 雙手扶 Pole, 右腳 point 腳, 像 '撩' 腳一樣沿 pole 上至約高於 90度

5) End post variation
右手扶 pole, 右腳踏步, swing 左腳 180 度, 曲膝成約 90 度, 雙手扶 Pole, 右腳 point 腳, 像 '撩' 腳一樣沿 pole 上至約高於 90度, 上身向前挨在右腳上, 然後往後仰



串連動作

行 ---> 右手拿 pole, step 左腳, 向 pole 內轉, 左手扶 Pole, 放左手, 右腳 Point 腳繼續行 ---> Swing
右手扶 Pole, 右步, 左步, 右步, 左腳 jump n fig 然後 click 在pole 上, 左手輕輕扶 pole, 轉至地下, 左腳在右腳下, 後躺, point 腳, 踏單車然後把腳自然踏出, 轉身面向地下, kick 遠離 Pole 的腳, child post, 扶 Pole, 起上身, 右腳 forward over 90 度, 左後腳伸直 point toe, 拉左腳到右腳旁, 起身 ---> 行 ---> 右手扶 Pole, 身體 parallel to pole, knee up 右腳 point toe, 前踢伸直, tark, 右腳 knee back 高約腰位置, hook pole, 左腳 knee高約腰位置, knee 盡量分開, point toe, flex back, head back, 右手放鬆, 向右 swing, 自然落地, 右手爬前, 左手在 pat pat 後, 左手再爬前比右手前一點點, chest on ground, 上身向前 slide to ground, 右腳 kick back 到 pole 的另一邊, 舉高 pat pat, chest slide back, child post, hold post, 起身---> 行 ---> Chair ---> 右手扶 pole, 身體 away from pole, swing 著行右腳, 左腳, 右腳 ---> 右手扶 pole, 右腳踏步, swing 左腳 180 度, 曲膝成約 90 度, 雙手扶 Pole, 右腳 point 腳, 像 '撩' 腳一樣沿 pole 上至約高於 90度, 上身向前挨在右腳上, 然後往後仰


晚上吃飯得知兩對朋友即將結婚

恭喜你們喔!

衷心祝你們甜甜蜜蜜, 白頭到老

很替你們高興

特別是 w/ t

祝幸福

^_^

>>June 19, 2009 at 9:09:05 AM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 16 日 星期二 【晴】

感謝 Pravs World 又送我一篇故事

quoted from Pravs J

"Do Not Hurt Yourself
One night a snake while it was looking for food, entered a carpenter’s workshop.

The carpenter, who was a rather untidy man, had left several of his tools lying on the floor. One of them was a saw. As the snake went round and round the shop, he climbed over the saw, which gave him a little cut.

At once, thinking that the saw was attacking him, he turned around and bit it so hard that his mouth started to bleed. This made him very angry. He attacked again and again until the saw was covered with blood and seemed to be dead.

Dying from his own wounds, the snake decided to give one last hard bite then turned away. The next morning the carpenter was surprised to find a dead snake on his doorstep.

Lesson to Learn:
Sometimes in trying to hurt others, we only hurt ourselves."


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Quoted from Terry MacDonald

"Are some women just unlucky in love?

No. Some women give off good vibes. Other women give off really
bad ones.

When K. divorced a man who made her life miserable last summer,
she vowed to enjoy life by herself for a full year.
She didn't want to date. She resisted becoming entangled with a new man
after she'd just disentangled herself from a really bad one.

She spent the past year enjoying time with her book club, going to
plays, museums, wine tastings, coffee shops, and becoming active
at church, where she made new friends.

She did not make herself over or do anything to change her appearance.
(She's in her forties, attractive but not thin.)

Despite this, and the fact she has two young children, men seemed to
come out of the wordwork at church, or through friends or friends of
friends. The more she pursued her interests, the more men she attracted.

But she stuck to her guns. She wouldn't date for a year.

On the other hand, our mutual, friend, N., divorced recently.
Since then, she has been on a campaign to replace her husband.

She lost a ton of weight, made herself over. She told K. that her
goal is to turn every man's head in the room.

She dates like crazy, is on several online dating sites, hits the
bars with a vengeance on weekends (I have no problem with hitting
bars since my goal there is to relax and have a laugh with friends;
her goal is quite different).

She has endured a series of sputtering liaisons, but nothing sticks.
Quite frankly, she's wasting her time with substandard men.

Now, K.'s year off from dating is over. She was just about to stick
her toe into the pool again, but N.'s experiences gave her pause.
They depressed her. Would she have to make herself over to meet
someone worthwhile? Would she have to spend money finding babysitters
so she could hang out every night in a bar?

(Want to reiterate here that she does occasionally enjoy a cocktail
in a bar, as I do, but we're not there to pick up strangers. And,
since I met my own husband in a bar, I'm certainly not averse to
becoming a familiar face in an upscale place and making a friend who
could turn out to be the love of your life. But that's different
from walking into a tavern with the intention of picking up a stranger
and thinking he'll somehow transform into the guy who holds your
hand on your way into church every Sunday.)

K. checked out the dating sites, figuring they were a decent option
(they are), but kept doing what she was doing, getting out and having
fun. One night, a friend asked her to come along with her and her husband for
dinner. A childhood friend of the husband joined them.

Guess what? He liked her. She sort of liked him. They went out. He
really liked her. She definitely liked him. They went out again.
And now they're seeing where things go.

But she continues to pursue her interests. During
her ex's week with the kids, she'll join a charitable
organization for a humanitarian aid trip. Since she doesn't know
any of the people who are going, she's bound to make a few more
friends.

What does this say to the new guy? That she's a compassionate,
independent woman with a life of her own. She sure isn't sitting
around waiting for some man to make her life worth living.

It takes the pressure off him, and it's also very attractive.
(And if he turns out not to be right for her, she can turn her
attention to other things.)

Meanwhile, N. continues to pursue men. Men are her sole interest
in life, and it shows. She gives off a bad vibe, and she attracts
bad men (like the married guy she dated, who "didn't consider
himself married because his wife was a psycho but was afraid
of what she'd do if he divorced her").

Pursue your interests and be true to yourself. If all those men and
women who say they like to take long walks on
the beach actually took them, dating services would go out of
business."


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

很沒用

跟他聯絡番了.......

他越來越 take me for granted

not good

n not going to allow this situation to continue

唯有提自己不要想得太多

一 aware 自己 indulge 在 emotion 和 thinking 時

便回到 presence

p

i really want to thank you to recommend this book to me at this particular time

i think it really reminds me a lot of things

and it comes in a very good timing

:)

>>June 18, 2009 at 9:24:12 AM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 15 日 星期一 【晴】

感謝 d 跟我去了看 coco avant chanel

很喜歡 Audrey Tautou

她很脫俗

很出世

很有氣質

戲本身嘛.....

唔....也算 ok 吧!



男性朋友的數目這麼少

到底是什麼原因呢?

>>June 17, 2009 at 1:47:45 AM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 14 日 星期日 【晴】

在朋友的介紹下

看 'the power of now'

內容跟我多年前接觸的概念相似

說不上驚喜

寫得比它淺白的大有人在

但這書卻是一個很好的 reminder

提醒我該如何和怎樣去生活

謝謝你的推介

特別喜歡的 quotes

pg. 24 "Pleasure is always derived from someething outside you, whereas joy arises from within" (對, 曾經 experience 過這份 joy, 讓我對它產生了 faith, 不是單純知道這是生活之道, 而是真正的感受到了 :) )

pg 37 "The Ego's serch for wholeness

Another aspect of the emotional pain that is an intrinsic part of the egoic mind is a deep-seated sense of lack or incompleteness, of not being whole. In some people, this is conscious, in others unconscious. If it is conscious, it manifests as the unsettling and constant feeling of not being worthy or good enough. If it is unconscious, it will only be felt indirectly as an intense craving, wanting and needing.

In either case, people will often enter into a compulsive pursuit of ego-gratification and things to identify with in order to fill this hole they feel within. So they strive after possessions, money, success, power, recognition, or a special relationship, basically so that they can feel better about themselves, feel more complete. (in my case, 應該是愛情) But even when they attain all these things, they soon find that the hole is still there, that it is bottomleees. (絕對贊成).Then they are really in trouble, because they cannot delude themselves anymore. Well, they can and do, but it gets more difficult.

As long as the egoic mind is runing your life, you cannot truly be at ease; you cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, (對, 當密運中時, 有份好工時, 身體健康時, 我們在這期間會感覺快樂, 但當失去這些東西時, 便會感覺不快樂, 快樂, 是一個與不開樂相對的概念, 在此書中被 classify 為 'pleasure', 而這個 pleasure 是透過 external 的東西而獲得的, 所以也會隨時失去) , when a craving has just been fulfilled. Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external things. It needs to be both defended and fed constantly. The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearnace, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identificaitons. Non of these is you."


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@


quoted from mirabelle summers's newsletter

"The Secrett of Communication

When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, we usually deal with
two basic areas: being attractive on the outside as well as inside.

For the former, it's all about "faking it 'til you make it". What
does this mean?

Well, this involves building an aura of self-confidence so that you
look the part, even if you're really quaking in your boots.

But don't get me wrong - all I'm saying is that it's important to
appear like the assured woman that you're ultimately aiming to be...

...while working on your inner qualities at the same time.

So, until you've solidified that sense of self-assurance within
you, there's nothing wrong with buffing up the external part of
your personality to get you by just for now!

This includes giving off the right body language, posture and
mannerisms that convey you are a woman who is secured with who she
is. We're talking about keeping calm and shutting off that circuit
in your brain that triggers your "panic mode".

Looking self-confident from the outside is an essential aid as you
develop other qualities that will make you poised on the inside.

When the time comes when you no longer experience the insecurity
and self-doubt that once plagued you...

...your appearance of self-confidence will truly be a part of who you
are!

Hence, you've made it by temporarily "faking it". Think about it
this way: by emulating the person who you want to be, you've given
yourself a goal to work towards to.

By believing you are that person (through outside appearances), you
will eventually become her. You have to know that you are a sassy
woman before you turn into one.

I'll give you an example. Let's say you're at a colleague's house
for a party with your other co-workers. Upon arriving, you're
feeling uncomfortable as heck because you've never been to this
place before.

That's normal - feeling out of place is common when you're in
unfamiliar territory. But is it right to show everyone how uneasy
you are? Or is it better to act cool and socialize with the rest
of the partygoers until the feeling subsides?

After engaging your friends in some lively chit-chat, your
uneasiness should eventually go away. By staying cool right off
the bat, no one will spot the difference between how you feel NOW...

...and how you felt when you FIRST walked in!

Now that we've talked about "faking it", let's get into the "making
it" part of your self-confidence program.

What I'd like to discuss today is the process of turning your goal
of being socially skillful into a reality. How do you get from
being a helplessly dependent girl to a woman with a rock-solid
sense of confidence?

If you were a car, I don't just want you to LOOK like an elegant
and powerful machine. Underneath that pretty hood, I also want you
to have the undeniable horsepower to match that sleek exterior of
yours.

Let's not beat around the bush and get right to it: here's some
sound advice to get that driving attitude that will empower you
with a winning personality.

First order of business: losing your fear of social engagements.
Look, you're not going to get far with men if you're afraid of
interacting with people in general.

Tell-tale signs of this condition include running out of things to
say during a conversation or being the introverted wallflower at
the party. Has it ever been painfully difficult for you to have a
relaxed chat with a cute guy because you're intimidated by his
looks?

If feel that this applies to you, then congratulations! You're
just as normal as the next girl. There's nothing wrong with having
social anxiety. You don't have to act like Mr. Spock just to be
fearless enough to mingle with people!

No matter how confident you are, all women, or people for that
matter, feel fear to some extent. It's just a matter of not
letting it get to you.

In other words, anyone can LEARN how to overcome this fear.

Being a good communicator is about tapping into another person's
feel-good circuitry to generate positive emotions within them.
Therefore, it instantly makes you attractive because they'll
automatically associate those good feelings with YOU.

It's also important to shut off your self-centeredness. When
you're totally focused on the other person, he/she will appreciate
your consideration and have no other choice but like you!

So heed my advice well. Once you've mastered the art of making
others feel good about who they are, you've got your foot in the
door.

Getting a foot in the door is much easier once you have the right
skills. Follow the example of so many successful women by checking
out Supreme Self Confidence at:

However, let me make this clear - you need to be SINCERE about
doing this. You can't blindly compliment someone and NOT expect
people to see right through it.

As the famous saying goes, (insincere) flattery will get you
nowhere. And by "nowhere", I mean "friendless and guy-less on
account of being a phony".

So how can you develop your ability to praise someone and MEAN IT?
Simple: PRACTICE, and LOTS of it.

"But to whom?", you might ask. That's even easier - anyone and
everyone you run into.

I'm talking about people next to you at the ATM line, the barista
at your favorite coffee place, or even the guy who delivers your
Chinese take-out. As long you have a valid reason to interact with
someone, seize the opportunity.

Now, isn't that the most practical piece of advice you've ever
heard of?

This approach will give you a stronger sense of self-confidence.
By talking to so many people throughout the day, you'll no longer
be afraid to approach them.

Human interaction will become something so natural to you that
you'll no longer hesitate to strike up a conversation when you feel
like it. Little by little, you're laying the foundations of a more
attractive personality, simply because you've made the effort to
talk to people more!

At first, you may feel clumsy or awkward for suddenly adapting a
new habit that feels unnatural. But what if you ride out the
feeling and just go with it?

It may take a bit getting used to, but you'll eventually learn to
relax during a casual conversation and focus on what the other
person is saying.

Soon enough, you'll shed the initial fear of talking to people.
Not only that, you'll learn how to pay attention to your
acquaintances' output and use it to give a meaningful response.

Then, as you develop your skill in figuring out what kind of person
he/she is, you'll be able to hand out a customized compliment that
will truly tug on their heart strings.

Case in point: just the other week, I went into my favorite coffee
shop looking a bit frazzled from the all the reading I had to get
done at the time. The kindhearted barista noticed the ton of books
tucked under my arm and said with a laugh, "Looks like you have
your work cut out for you."

And I couldn't help but agree with her. From there, we exchanged a
few more pleasantries before she served my drink and said, "Take it
easy!" with a warm smile.

So we didn't become BFFs right then and there, but that wasn't the
point. She showed a genuine interest in someone and used that to
give a relevant comment. Her little words of encouragement
actually snapped me out of my flustered trance before getting to
work.

More importantly, she wasn't looking for anything in return. She
simply engaged in a nice little talk for the sheer pleasure of it.
She chose to talk to me with the simple intention of making me feel
good about myself.

Small exercises like that won't only leave you feeling great, but
will also make someone's day a little brighter. Not only will you
make a positive impact, you'll also strengthen your social skills
in the process!

When the time comes that it really counts (i.e. running into a HOT
guy), you'll no longer feel pressured to be a great
conversationalist because you're genuinely that kind of person!

Starting today, I want you to start flattering your friends,
co-workers and acquaintances without trying to look like a suck-up.
Do it without expecting anything in return in the back of your
mind."

>>June 15, 2009 at 3:24:05 AM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 13 日 星期六 【晴】

看到自己心底的恐懼

既然自己控制不到事情怎樣發生

如何發生

會不會發生

觀察著這份恐懼

容許自己有這份恐懼

陪伴著它

是我能力範圍內最應該做的事吧!



唔............

>>June 14, 2009 at 3:58:33 PM GMT+8

2009 年 6 月 12 日 星期五 【晴】

最近在問自己一個問題

到底如何分辨 fling 和 potential bf

一方面

我並不介意 fling

不過更高的 priority 是希望要一段 serious n faithful 的 relationship

驟眼看兩者好像互相抵觸

但想深一層

有時候又覺得兩者未必一定 mutually exclusive

如果反正沒有任何 potential 的人選

having some fun 也未嘗不可接受

由於 serious relationship 有較高的 priority

最近跟不同的男性出去時

便不斷嘗試 identify 他們的 motivation

嘗試 classify 他們為 fling or could be something more

從而作出適當的行動

但看來看去也發現很難 classify



朋友 A 年紀還小

他建議我不用想那麼多

just go with the flow

朋友 B 年紀相若

她則認為 fling 是浪費時間的行為

他們二人 background 不同

value 不同

所以看法也有所不同是很容易理解的


今天偶然看到卓韻芝一篇有關 classification 的專欄

她的眼光很獨到

對呢

新一代的社會

classfication 已經變得模糊

sex partner, couples, friend, dates, husband, lover, boy friend, brother

界線好像比舊日模糊了

因此才出現 'friends with benefit" 的 concept 吧!

根據 urban dictionary

"friends with benefits" 定義為下:

"friends with benefits 2121 up, 201 down

Two friends who have a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment


friends with benefits 778 up, 207 down

1. A safe relationship, that mimics a real partnership but is void or greatly laking jealousy and other such emotions that come with a serious relationship.

2. A physically involved relationship, where both partners enjoy some comforts of sitting on the fence between serious relationship and simple friendship.

3. Any realtionship that can only be catagorized as being between Friends and Partners, also refered to as More then friends "


在各品牌商店在大搞 cross over 時

新一代的 relationship concept 和 role 也正在不斷 cross over, fused 而變成一樣新的東西嗎?



這一刻

沒有清晰的決定

理性上 classify 不了

不過 emotion 上暫時 feel like to 把 fling 擱置

如果他們真的是 player

約了我這麼多次都發現上不了床

他們大多該會放棄吧

那剩下來的

相對會可能是比較 serious 的嗎?

還是好勝而已?


emotion 有時真好

不用理由

感覺不想就不想

想就想

不用鑽來鑽去找答案



很喜歡有不同年紀背景的朋友

眼光好像擴闊了

^_^


quoted from 卓韻芝蘋果專欄

"某次獲邀前往一個派對，對方努力解釋：「我們……有音樂，另一部份則是相片展覽，但又有一部份……」我見他痛苦，打斷了他的話：「總之就是 having fun，你告訴我地址和時間就好了。」對方忽然出妙語：「哈！你份人都幾有安全感喎。」對，關鍵是安全感。若果沒有弄清那到底是甚麼，不將東西歸類，人就會感到很不安，彷彿不知道自己的目的地是甚麼，又將要參與甚麼。然而我猜這種安全感將會變得多餘，因為我們已邁進「不用理會那是甚麼」的時代。"

觀看全文

>>June 13, 2009 at 3:58:21 AM GMT+8