2004 年 11 月 15 日 星期一 【晴】



未像睡寶寶＊……
　　　　躲於你懷抱。。
　　我氣力太好＞．．

從來未借用眼淚去擺姿態：：：
　　　　你便當我是個男孩

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

同左ｃ先生一齊咁耐，真係唔覺得我同佢幾可有擁抱過．．．．

就係１少少的關心都感覺唔到。。‧‧

明知佢心入面仲好掛住佢以前女朋友～但我可以點啵？！

唔通迫佢忘記佢？！傻喇～我係唔會咁做嫁．．．．我只想佢開心．．．．

見到佢ｉｃｑ　ｉｎｆｏ～寫來寫去都係寫佢有幾掛住佢前女朋友～我個心真係唔好受

我覺得我跟本唔會係ｃ先生的生命裡面留低ｄ咩野～

因為我除左見過佢幾個朋友之外～我同佢冇擁有ｄ咩野共同ｇｅ回憶．．．．

有一次～兆倫問我，點解我銀包裡面冇ｃ先生同我既合照：：

我係度苦笑＞．＜佢接住就話：你唔係好鐘意擺男朋友ｇｅ相係銀包果度嫁咩？

我心諗：我同佢１齊咁耐都冇影過相～咁何來有相俾我擺係銀包度？？

我唔係想咁細路～我都覺得拍拖唔１定要將對方的相擺係銀包果度先叫做愛佢～唔１定要有合照．．．

但係講就咁講姐～個心真係１點也不好受＞．＜

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

近來發現～原來我自己好討厭果ｄ連基本英文都唔識ｇｅ人～

有時有ｄ人係ｉｃｑ　ａｄｄ我～＊我用英文打字，佢話睇唔明叫我用中文打既時候～我會諗都唔諗就ｉｇｎｏｒｅ佢～因為我覺得：雞同鴨講！！我唔係話我自己ｄ英文好勁～但係連ｄ好簡單的英文～例如話：ｗｈｅｒｅ　ｄｉｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｇｅｔ　ｍｙ　ｉｃｑ　ｎｏ．佢地都唔明～我真係俾佢地激到ｂｉ一聲．．．．＞．＜

而且我發覺我近來係ｉｃｑ果度不斷咁ｉｇｎｏｒｅ人～可以我呢排心情都唔好．．．．所以見到ｄ人好煩的時候，我就會２話不說地ｉｇｎｏｒｅ佢～我理得佢地覺得我寸又好，自大又好喇～總之我唔想同佢地傾就ｉｇｎｏｒｅ佢地！！～

最憎ｄ人問完又問～我明明話左唔想答，佢地係度死纏爛打咁問．．．．．又或者我明明答左佢，佢又好似失憶咁（係同１個裡面問啵～你話第２日都冇咁嬲姐．．．＞．＜）

我亦都好討厭人地問我關於ｓｅｘ的問題～我知道我俾人的ｉｍａｇｅ係果ｄ好ｏｐｅｎ既女仔～但係我真係厭倦左呢ｄ野喇．．．．

>>November 16, 2004 at 5:50:49 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 14 日 星期日 【晴】

今日１２點約了ｐｅｇｇｙ一齊去ｄｂｓ～其實我自己都有點驚奇，點解平時同我唔係太ｃｌｏｓｅ的ｐｅｇｇｙ會搵我～ｂｕｔ唔緊要喇．．．．．我都唔介意～＊

去到ｄｂｓ的賣物會～＊唔算好多人，因為時間尚早嘛！！我打左俾ｊａｃｋｙ！搵到佢～＊ｔｈｅｎ　ｐｅｇｇｙ又搵到ｉｖａｎ（１個我地大家都識ｇｅ小學同學）我見ｐｅｇｇｙ有著落～而ｊａｃｋｅｙ又陪我周行～ｔｈｅｎ我地就分開玩喇．．．．

好鬼死晒ａｒ．．．我開始覺得好熱好暈＞．＜ｂｕｔ　ｓｔｉｌｌ～我都行晒去睇所有的ｓｔｏｒｅ～＊嘩！！有個ｓｔｏｒｅ用ｎｏｋｉａ手提做ｐｒｉｚｅ！！～好吸引ａｒ～

ｂｕｔ我都冇玩到任何攤位遊戲＞．＜因為．．．因為．．．．．冇錢囉．．．．．唉～＊況且又唔係真係咁ａｔｔｒａｃｔｉｖｅ．．．．．

ｊａｃｋｙ　ｄ　ｆｄ叫我做ｊａｃｋ嫂＞．＜有點無奈．．．．我有男朋友嫁喇。。。‧‧‧但我都費事解釋～還掂佢地既誤會都影響唔到我！！

之後實在太辛苦喇～果度又冇瓦遮頭啵～＊結果我去左新世紀食ｄ野，ｔｈｅｎ再番去～原本我想聽ｂａｎｄ　ｓｈｏｗ嫁～點知．．．．去到的時候已經做完ｌｕ～激死我喇！！

ｔｈｅｎ我就離開左果度ｌｕ～去左睇醫生。我搵個ｅ生叫佢幫我寫封轉介信，轉介我去睇精神科醫生＞．＜其實我都唔知道睇完之後會唔會有幫助嫁～但係唔想我屋企人擔心我，所以我點都會去睇１次．．．．．

番到屋企既時候，好頭暈～我諗我真係中暑了！！我真係好似係溫室長大咁，晒少少都唔得＞．＜

近來屋企人為左細佬升邊間中學煩惱緊＞．＜唉～＊我都唔知可以幫到ｄ咩野手．．．．．

遲ｄ可能會有２張公主復仇記ｇｅ　ｍｏｖｉｅ　飛～我想同ｃ先生去睇．．．．．但唔知佢睇左未呢？？我又唔敢同佢講住啵～＊因為我都未ｓｕｒｅ我係唔係可以囉到ｆｒｅｅ既飛．．．．．

ｃ先生～我真係ｆｅｅｌ唔到佢關心我．．．．．呢樣係最令我感到難受既１件事．．．．．．

>>November 16, 2004 at 5:25:02 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 13 日 星期六 【晴】



I wanna by colour cons ar ^^ but no money >.<



Funny ?!



Blue cons seem do not suit me at all ~ I wanna grey one.....



Silly....



Ugly smile >.<

尋晚飲左ｄ酒～今日起身個頭勁痛．．．＞．＜

ｌｕｎｃｈ自己煮左個麵食～如果我冇記錯，今日應該係我第１次１手１腳煮好１個公仔麵～因為我從來都只會負責其中１個ｓｔｅｐ～唔會咩都係我做晒．．．．．我由ｂｏ水，落個麵～煎隻蛋～全部都係自己做嫁（因為屋企連工人都冇．．．．）唯１既小意外，就係我係將ｄ麵倒落個ｂｏｗｌ既時候～倒瀉左ｄ熱湯～＊好彩冇整到自己姐．．．．．．．＞．＜真係粗手粗腳。。。‧‧最後我好乖乖咁抹番將ｔａｂｌｅ～

我今日煮ｇｅ唔係普遍ｇｅ公仔麵黎嫁～係日本出嫁．．．有ｄｄ似味千拉麵果ｄ質感～ｋａｋａ～自己煮ｇｅ算係咁嫁喇～食得落口都好好嫁喇！！～

ｔｈｅｎ我就開始做功課．．．．做ａｒ做．．．做左好耐好耐．．．之後４點幾，ｓｕｄｄｅｎｌｙ覺得好累．．．個人好似缺氧咁．．．想打俾阿ｎｉｃ，不過拎住個電話暈左係張床度。。‧‧醒番的時候＞．＜原來已經過左半個鐘了！！

打左俾ｃ先生～佢訓緊覺。原來佢尋晚原通頂＞．＜都唔知佢玩咩．．．．．開心ｇｅ係，佢今日對我ｇｅ態度好左ｄ喇！！佢講左幾次我自明佢既意思～原來佢成晚冇訓＞．＜不過佢都冇好惡咁話我，只係問我：咁你覺得你應該講ｄ咩野呢？好彩今次雖然係蠢，但最後都識得講：咁唔阻你訓喇～＊

之後我慢慢爬落床，寫埋ｉｈ果份ｅｓｓａｙ～＊

清左電腦裡面果ｄ垃圾相＞．＜！！～整左好鬼死耐．．．發現原來自己真係好醜樣€ｋｋａａ

>>November 16, 2004 at 5:25:24 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 12 日 星期五 【晴】

放左學之後，約左ｃ先生睇佢剪頭髮～我打俾佢，佢話佢ｂｏｏｋ　左５點係中環．．．我ｏ晒咀．．．．之前唔係話６點幾７點嫁咩？！之後我話我無論點都要沖個涼先出黎～最快都係１個鐘之後出到去～＊之後佢話：咁算喇＞．＜我呆左．．．．．．佢話我好麻煩，點解１定要沖涼先可以出街．．．．咁我真係「慣」左ａｒ嘛～＊之後佢話下次先喇～叫我今日唔好出．．．．．

收左線之後，我拿拿聲去沖涼。。‧‧雖然我知道未必有得出，不過我都想試下可唔可以趕到．．．．＞．＜結果係成功ｇｅ！＠！！～係我沖緊涼的時候，ｃ先生打黎，佢話不如出黎食野～佢叫我搭ｍｔｒ去到ｔｓｔ果個站的時候打１打俾佢，睇下佢係邊～ｔｈｅｎ再決定我過唔過海搵佢。

結果佢約左我係ｃｗｂ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｓｑｕａｒｅ果度等～ｔｈｅｎ我地１齊搭番ｍｔｒ去中環～我陪佢去左１間要上樓ｇｅ　ｓａｌｏｎ～　ｗｏｗ～果間野一睇就知係ｄ勁貴ｇｅ地方．．．．ｋａｋａ～招呼勁好咁！！～我就坐係度等佢剪頭髮．．．．小小悶就緊有嫁喇～不過１邊睇ｍａｇａｚｉｎｅｓ～ｄ時間都總算過得唔係好慢．．．

佢個髮型師好鬼有心機ａｒ＊～剪左好耐ａｒ～初初ｃ先生預佢個半鐘１定剪完～但結果整晒所有野之後，差不多２個鐘～＊

之後佢即刻趕番去ｃｗｂ果度見工～係途中撞到１個人．．．．．佢就係ａｌｅｘ＞．＜我見到佢ｇｅ時候呆左．．．．我即刻唔敢望～費事佢發現到我喇．．．．因為我知道ｃ先生唔鐘意ａｌｅｘ知道我同左佢一齊．．．．

我發現就算我依家見到佢，我對佢，同埋對普通人既感覺係完全１樣。我只係有會少少驚奇點解會見到佢．．．．．．

深切咁體會到，咩野叫做迷戀。當果ｄ好似煙ｇｅ幻覺吹散晒之後，我就會睇清楚到底我對佢的感覺。ａｌｅｘ的確能夠係人群之中脫穎而出，但咁樣唔代表ｄ咩野。假如我唔識佢的話，我最多會望多佢２秒～就係咁多～ｔｈａｔ’ｓ　ｉｔ！唔會有我以前咁多無謂ｇｅ幻想．．．．

我知道佢１４號就離開香港～我有諗過打電話俾佢同佢講ｂｙｅｂｙｅ嫁～但係我覺得咁樣ｇｅ諗法同埋做法好幼稚。我記得佢話過我好幼稚～其實我呢幾個月都學識左唔少野，諗通左唔少野，長大左唔少～我想話俾佢聽我已經長大喇！！但係我覺得呢少少既進步唔算得係ｄ咩野，而且真正既長大係唔使用把口講ｇｅ！成績應該係有目共睹的。所以我決定左都係唔打俾佢～或者日後有機會撞番佢的時候，佢會見到我既成長吧！！～

死喇！！半來約好左７點見～點知．．．＞．＜ｏｈ又遲到了．．．．．個老細話唔得閒～叫佢１０點再上過去＞＞＜真係俾佢激到．．．其實初初佢話４點幾嫁～之後又話唔得，叫佢７點幾上去～７點幾上到去又話唔得．．．．又話要等到１０點．．．．個老細認真大牌＞．＜不過冇計喇！！鬼叫佢係ｂｏｓｓ咩．．．要賺佢ｄ錢就冇計嫁喇！！依家係我地有求於人＞．＜唉～＊

係見工果度（ｃｗｂ的食通天）～見到呂頌賢啵＜－ＴＶＢ的１個ａｒｔｉｓｔ～嘩！！佢好鬼死大隻ａｒ～

ｔｈｅｎ我同ｃ先生去左「紅螞蟻」果度食野～我食碗ｎｏｏｄｌｅｓ都用左半個鐘囉～俾ｃ先生寸我：咦！！新紀錄啵．．．食碗麵都要半個鐘．．．＞．＜之後佢又話我食條菜都食得好核突～其實係因為我ｄ牙冇力．．．平時食野慣左切到好細舊先食．．．．咁條菜又鬼死咁大條啵．．．．．

之後我想去ｒｅｓｔｒｏｏｍ喇～＊我咪問佢：喂～你知唔知呢度邊度有洗手間ａｒ？！佢話：你問我？我點會知ａｒ？問呢度ｄ人喇．．．．．我其實唔係太ｕｒｇｅｎｔ　ｇｅ～所以咪冇問囉～之後佢叫埋單喇．．．．佢問我：喂！你唔係話去洗手間嫁咩？我話：唔喇～算喇～費事煩．．．．ｔｈｅｎ過左陣～佢幫我問洗手間邊度～

出左間ｒｅｓｔａｕｒａｎｔ之後，佢問我：到底問人地個洗手間係邊有咩咁困難呢？！其實有好多野我都唔識開口．．．．我份人就係咁＞．＜

ｃ先生叫我幫佢係街邊果ｄ小食攤買野飲～幫佢買野唔係問題，但係我真係唔明點解佢唔企我隔離囉～佢成日都好似離我好遠咁．．．．．次次買完野都要望下佢係邊．．．．呢種感覺～真係唔係太好．．．．．我唔明點解佢唔可以企係我隔離．．．不過我冇開口問佢．．．．

ｔｈｅｎ我地坐左係ｔｉｍｅ　ｓｑｕａｒｅ下面果度～睇電視ａｎｄ飲野．．．．．ｄ風係咁吹～真係好凍ａｒ．．．．我隻手已經差不多凍到冇晒感覺．．．．．今日我已經唔係著得好少衫嫁喇～我著左件灰色ｔｅｅ～ａｎｄ牛仔褲．．．．坐左一陣之後，仲要落雨添．．．．．激死人．．．．．

ｃｗｂ果度都唔少鬼妹～好多都打扮得好好睇～＊好令好索．．．＞．＜搞到我真係勁自卑．．．ｃ先生仲要對果ｄ鬼妹讚不絕口．．．＞．＜搞到我有ｄ唔知點咁～＊

係度等時間過的時候～ｃ先生問左我１個問題，佢話：如果你舊男朋友約晒所有佢既舊女朋友出黎，你覺得點？我話：假如佢係約我ｇｅ時候都通知左我呢餐飯既性質～我咪會同果度ｄ女仔傾下計ｌａｗ～如果佢地傾得埋ｇｅ咪繼續傾ｌａｗ～；但如果我係唔知情ｇｅ～去到先知道果ｄ女仔全部係佢舊女朋友，我會俾面色個男仔睇ｌａｗ～之後ｃ先生話，換著佢係被人約出黎果ｄ女仔，佢會覺得個男仔唔ｒｅｓｐｅｃｔ佢～會１杯水淋落個男仔度ｌａｗ～佢問我：乜你唔覺得咁樣對個女仔好唔尊重嫁咩？我話：如果我係覺得的話～我晨早就唔會出去喇．．．．

終於等到１０點ｌｕ～我同佢一齊搭ｌｉｆｔ上去～我係間ｒｅｓｔａｕｒａｎｔ出面等佢．．．等左好耐好耐．．．．．大概半個鐘多ｄ喇．．．．睇住ｄ人出ｌｉｆｔ～入ｌｉｆｔ～好悶ａｒ．．．又好鬼死累．．．又好鬼死眼訓．．．．

ｋａａｋ～佢出黎ｇｅ樣好開心！！因為佢終於見成工喇～ｙｅ＠ｈ！！～１８號得有著西裝番工ｌｕ～ｋｅｋｅ～希望佢做人有目標，又搵到錢～佢開心就得嫁喇．．．．．

之後一齊搭地鐵～我係油麻地落，佢亦都係果個站轉車番屋企～＊一路行番屋企．．．．１路就覺得好凍．．．．＞．＜ｔｈｅｎ有個ｆｄ又係果頭ｗｏｒ～ｔｈｅｎ佢就同我係球場果度飲酒．．．．．．

唔知點解，今日真係有ｄ唔開心．．．．

番到屋企，好想訓的時候，醒起要打個俾ｃ先生～死喇．．．．依家都唔係太清楚我同佢講過ｄ咩．．．但我記得我有打俾佢．．．．．＞．＜

>>November 16, 2004 at 5:52:29 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 11 日 星期四 【晴】

名： NuL
電郵： [email protected]
說： A child take care a "child"... What the...
Come on, .... ask him not to be fucked up...
If I were you, let it go...
You should know what I am saying... it's not worth for you paying that much....
Somehow, I can't see how he did respect...
A friend is better than your bf... I am so sorry to tell you this...
HEy... I don't wanna seeing that you can't handle your mental stuff...
One day... you are happy.. in the other day.. you are unhappy again...
Are you playing ROLLER COASTER??
he's 21 already.... I just know that... full of shit..
Sorry for any inconvenient...and the advice being fucked up to you..

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

Well, I do think that he sometimes acts like a child, but that's okey.
I don't mind to accept everything of him.
I am learning a lot form him, as he has more working expreiences than I have.
It appears as not worthing to spend that much time and love on him.....
however, think of yourself. You know that I don't worth to be loved and cared.
So why do you treat me so good when we were a couple?
You are one of my special friends. You understand me very well.....
This is what others cannot do. That's why you think that you as my friend is better than him.
I am going to see the phychologist in this month, dun worry.

May be I am not old enough to play this "ROLLER COASTER"
However, I have already got on it.
The roller coaster will not stop unless it is broken down or not power supply.

You're right. He is 21 already and he sometimes acts a bit selfish.
You may say that he is not mature enough. I hope he will improve in the future.
But if you don't have high expectation on him, then everything is all right !

I am the one who being with him.
I am the one who feel desperated cause of him.
I am the one who suffer.
You, my friend, my special friend, plz remember your role.
In my opinion, friends should be supprtive.
You know me very well. You konw that I won't listen to others.
I won't give up until the game is over,
Plz don't say anything or do anything to "NOTIFY" me the "TRUTH".

If you think I am immature and I can't see the whole picture.
Then just let me find it out myself.

I just hope that you will be the one who soothe and heal my heart when I am hurt.
This would be the best present that I have ever received.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

今日７點５０分出左門口去黃大仙搵佢，睇佢踢波。原來係黃大仙果度ｇｅ場踢．．．點知俾人ｂｏｏｋ左～＊之後又去另１個附近ｇｅ場～點知都係俾人ｂｏｏｋ左．．．．

我地一大班人分開２架ｔａｘｉ去九龍城～個場終於冇人了～不過去到無幾耐，就有另一隊人黎啦．．．．．

ｃ先生今日著我送俾佢果件波衫～ｋａｋａ～好令令．．．．．佢地果隊踢得幾爽下～節奏都幾快咁～另一隊好明顯係實力差ｄ咁．．．．．ｋａｋａ！！ｃ先生入左一球ｌｅ～＊之後冇幾耐，因為輸左～ｔｈｅｎ換人喇．．．．．

佢坐係我身邊繼續睇波～＊今晚ｄ風唔算好大～所以佢係度煲煙的時候「攻」親我～＊我唯有坐遠少少吧．．．．

係場上果２隊人踢來踢去都入唔到波～悶ｑ死．．．．．成日係度猜下猜下咁＞．＜過左唔知幾耐～終於入左波喇！！ｃ先生又換番入去ｒｅｐｌａｃｅ輸左果隊～

ｃ先生既朋友有ｄ冇份踢～＊就坐係度煲煙啵～我又唔好意思叫佢地唔好食！～佢地有佢地既自由嫁嘛～＊所以我唯有「移動」我自己囉～＊我自己坐去另一邊（因為ｄ風吹左～所以我就係食煙果ｄ人ｇｅ右手邊．．．．．）

今日著低腰ｌｅｖｉｓ～點知．．．點知．．．俾蚊蚊叫我ｐａｔｐａｔ囉＞．＜無奈ｉｎｇ

佢ｄ　ｆｄ　都冇咩點～＊起碼冇成日ｂｅａｒ住我搞到我唔知點咁～我見佢地都只係望一望我，有少少好奇～眼神好似係度問緊：咦，你係邊個ａｒ？！

聽日有ｅｃｏｎ　ｔｅｓｔ　ａｒ～依家係夜晚１１點１０分喇～我仲未開始溫．．．＞．＜

天啊！對眼好鬼死痛．．．前日喊得太多，呢幾日對眼都好痛～加上次次搵ｃ先生我都會戴ｃｏｎｓ～所以對眼真係痛到想死．．．＞．＜

>>January 6, 2005 at 2:14:41 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 10 日 星期三 【晴】

大名： joyce
電郵： [email protected]
說： 無論同邊個唔同邊個一齊都好
最緊要自己開心
無論對邊個好都好
請仍然緊記 : 唔好委屈自己

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

放心喇～＊我會學識點樣表達自己嫁喇！！唔開心，唔鐘意就１定要講出黎～＊唔好成日都屈埋屈埋～唔出聲咁～
我份人就係咁～每次唔開心完之後，都會好似有所得著咁～經過呢幾日既唔開心之後，我慢慢找到１個同佢相處的方法～但有好多野都仍在摸索階段．．．．．
嗯～＊謝謝你的關心ａｒ．．．．其實有朋友ｇｅ關心，我都覺得好好嫁喇！！～

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

大名： bee
電郵： [email protected]
說： 懂得放手，是最好的。

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

嗯～＊這個道理我明白。但若然每段感情遇到問題時，就這麼輕易放棄，那麼每段感情都不能長久發展下去吧！
我決定了努力地去了解他，假若最後我發現大家真的不適合係埋一齊的話，我會放手～＊謝謝你的勸告！！～＊

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

今日同ｃ先生的關係好像好了點～＊也許我叫自己唔好過份著佢吧！！佢講ｇｅ野，唔好太認真咁聽～除非佢真係用ｄ好認真既語氣同我講野，否則我都係聽完當１件好平常既事就算喇～＊

開心既係～佢開始識體諒我喇！！因為佢ｇｅ１句：「其實我好似唔記得左你咁細個～＊」起碼佢都識體諒我，我今年只有１６歲～我既世界就係番學番學同埋番學～＊我未出過黎做野，我未見識過佢見到ｇｅ世界．．．原來１個２１歲～出黎過做野～同１個１６歲～淨係識得讀書既人～係差咁耐ｇｅ．．．．．但我打算去學習適應佢既世界．．．．只要佢唔好迫我就得嫁喇～俾ｄ時間我喇．．．

有時無奈ｇｅ係～１ｄ以前男朋友覺得我所謂「可愛」既地方～佢只會覺得我低ｂ又或者無聊～＊咁我唯有收起我果ｄ曳曳ｇｅ１面～唔敢去嗲佢．．．開心的時候亦都唔可以用ｄ高８度ｇｅ聲同佢講野～我好記得有１次，我係ｔｖ果度睇完「我老婆未夠秤」呢套ｍｏｖｉｅ之後～心情勁好啵．．．因為劇情好ｓｗｅｅｔ嘛．．．咁個人就自然輕鬆ｄ嫁喇～咁佢打黎俾我，我就自然咁好開心咁同佢講野．．．．．．點知佢１句撻埋黎，叫我講野唔好咁姣．．．．我即刻呆左！！果ｄ興奮ｇｅ心情都一掃而空．．．．．自從果次之後，我唔敢再俾佢知道我既性格就係咁～我開心的時候自然就會變得好「姣」～但我跟本唔係扮出黎．．．．既然佢唔鐘意ｇｅ～好！我改！！就算我好開心既時候我都只係會好斯文咁係度笑．．．．＞．＜不過唔緊要喇！！２個人總有ｄ野要就下對方ｇｅ＊～

聽日打算去睇佢踢波～＊

後日打算去陪佢剪頭髮．．．．

我知道，佢為左搵工同埋錢既野煩緊～＊我知我自己幫唔到佢幾多，不過假如我可以借到俾佢ｇｅ～我都會借．．．．只係想佢唔好再為呢ｄ事擔心咁多．．．．．

>>November 11, 2004 at 5:58:15 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 9 日 星期二 【晴】

當我同你講散的時候，其實我跟本就唔係想散。

我只係想你開口挽留．．．．．

但你最終也沒有。

而反過來說我不夠愛你。

果一刻，真係好痛心。

你竟懷疑我對你的感情．．．．

難道我為你做的不夠多？！還不能證明我對你的感情有幾深？

由你識我果日，我就已經收埋晒我既大小姐脾氣．．．．

你幾可我我會對你發脾氣？！

我知，你跟本就冇要求過我為你做ｄ咩野～

一切都係我自願為你做嫁姐～我自願為你改～自願ｔｕｍ你開心．．．．

今日係我記憶所及喊得最耐，喊得最勁既一次．．．．．．．

我叫自己唔好再喊．．．但我真係控制唔到．．．好心痛．．．

心痛既係，我當佢係男朋友ｇｅ人，係我唔開心的時候唔ｔｕｍ我～

不特止，仲大聲喝我～＊我明明已經努力咁收左聲唔再喊～

你又整番喊我．．．．好累ａｒ～真係喊到好累．．．．

算喇～＊我依家知道，你１句：「我慣左ｘｘｘｘ」就大晒～

咁我夠慣左要人ｔｕｍ　ｌａｗ～又唔見你ｔｕｍ我？

原來你果句「我今晚打俾你」，係你ｇｅ習慣黎講～＊只係隨口說說～

原來你慣左～只有人地打俾你，你唔會打俾人．．．．

原來當你做錯野，要人地問你覺唔覺得自己有冇錯，你先會話「有」～然後你唔會講對唔住，因為你慣左唔同女朋友講對唔住．．．．

或者係我太小器吧！！咁「小小」既野我都包容唔到～要咁計較你有冇同我講對唔住＞．＜

希望你明白，我唔係你，我點知道你每句說話背後的意思呢？

我真係唔想將我地之間既關係搞到咁彊丫！～你可能覺得今次只係１件小事～只係我將小事化大～

但係對我黎講，我覺得呢件事唔小～＊

喊左咁耐，最後都係我自己ｔｕｍ番自己～因為我對眼已經痛到喊唔到～連我工人都問我，對眼咩事！！我只係答佢：我唔夠訓～但傻既都睇得出～我係因為不停咁喊先會搞成咁．．．

你講得ａｒｍ，我應該搵１個會ｔｕｍ我，就我既人～

>>November 10, 2004 at 12:51:24 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 8 日 星期一 【晴】

ｃ先生今朝６點４０分打俾我～＊佢話多謝我送左３份生日禮物俾佢．．．．．ｔｈｅｎ佢同我坦白左野。果ｄ消息都冇俾我太大既驚嚇．．．．．講真，我都預左．．．．嗯，既然佢想去做個決定，我就等佢做吧！！佢肯講出黎，我諗係因為佢飲左ｄｄ酒，所以個人ｆｒｅｅ　ｄ～佢話同時間有４個女仔鐘意佢，４個都好鐘意佢．．．．

佢話佢想用６個鐘黎做決定，仲話無論如何都會俾個令我滿意ｇｅ答案．．．．．好．．．我等佢．．．．

佢問我幾時得閒，我話我２個小息（１１點２０分）ｏｋｅｙ　ｇｅ～＊佢話佢點都唔會訓～會等我打俾佢，叫我記得打俾佢．．．我當然唔會唔記得喇．．．．．點知我打俾佢的時候，佢又好似好精神咁～＊好似唔知去左邊度玩緊ｄ唔知咩野．．．．．．．叫我放學先打俾佢＞．＜

我擔心左成個朝早，得到１個咁ｇｅ答案．．．我個心好唔舒服，好似有ｄｄ怪怪的感覺，所以我打多次俾佢，問佢係邊，佢冇答我．．．．．佢依然堅持叫我放學先打俾佢～我唯有無奈地收線．．．專心應付之後的ｂｉｏ　ｔｅｓｔ～

放學之後，我打左俾佢．．．．佢手提好似熜左，ｔｈｅｎ我打佢屋企．．．．ｌｉｎｇ左好耐佢先聽．．．．．其實我都估到佢會訓緊覺，但我實在太心急喇～果種好不安的感覺已經折磨左我成日．．．．我真係好辛苦ａｒ＊我問佢：你依家講得未ａｒ？佢答我：唔知ａｒ．．．＜－我果刻真係好無奈．．．．你想我點ａｒ？！算．．．我試下體諒佢，佢尋晚飲左咁多，依家累到口齒不清唔知道自己係度講緊咩野都正常ｇｅ．．．．．

>>November 8, 2004 at 4:37:02 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 7 日 星期日 【晴】

講真，有時我真係ｆｅｅｌ唔到自己係佢「正室」～＊或者我唔應該咁多心ｇｅ．．．．其實我從來都未試過擔心男朋友出面有第２個．．．．但係基於我識佢的時候，佢都肯俾我做第３者～咁我又點可以相信佢係１個唔花心ｇｅ人呢～＊我都好明白１個道理ｇｅ～人揀我，我揀人～我同佢都覺得依家未係時候定落黎．．．大家都明白到對方１定唔會係將來長長久久的對象．．．．．所以我地大家都有權去揀第２個．．．．．

原本佢約我１２點ｇｅ～但係佢．．．．我１１點半打俾佢～佢仲訓得好ｌｕｍ囉．．．．佢話最早都３點先好去搵佢．．．＞．＜我ｏ晒咀．．．．但係鬼叫今日係佢生日咩．．．．好．．．我忍佢．．．．

我係屋企坐又唔係訓又唔係～因為成身都好唔舒服，又頭痛又累．．．．．但係聽日有ｂｉｏ　ｔｅｓｔ～所以我點都要溫下書．．．．．但我實在太想快ｄ見到ｃ先生．．．而且又想俾個ｓｕｒｐｒｉｓｅ佢～＊所以我坐左車去搵佢～坐係佢屋企樓下的公園果度溫ｂｉｏ～ｋａｋａ咁樣我又唔會受屋企的電腦所引誘～咁樣我就可以專心溫書喇．．．．．

死喇～＊果度好鬼死多蚊ａｒ～我已經著左長褲嫁喇～！ｄ蚊都飛入黎咬我腳爭冇肉果ｄ位啵～之後又咬我手指．．．＞．＜嘩．．．又痛又痕啵．．．．我好想打俾佢～但我見佢好似好累咁～所以都係算數喇．．．．．我叫自己專心ｄ溫書，咁應該會唔覺咁痕ｇｅ．．．

轉移到地點去溫書都好喇～都一樣係有ｄ野飛來飛去阻住我．．．．．＞．＜最恐怖ｇｅ係，無喇喇有隻５蚊銀咁大ｇｅ不明飛行物體降落係我本ｂｉｏ書上面．．．我好驚．．．好想尖叫，但我知道就算我尖叫都唔會有人理我～＊所以我用左我平生最大的勇氣～＊拎起本書，吸１大啖氣～之後吹佢落地．．．．．第１下吹唔走嫁～第２下先吹走佢．．．．．＞．＜嚇到我真係好想喊．．．．．．

到２點半，我打佢手提～冇人聽；之後我打佢屋企，佢ｄａｄ聽，話佢訓緊．．．＞．＜唉～＊等多陣ｌａ～之後２點４９分打佢手提～＊佢終於醒了．．．．．我話俾佢聽我係佢屋企樓下，佢初初唔信，ｔｈｅｎ之後終於都信，問我等左幾耐～＊ａｍ．．．其實我大概等左都有２個鐘嫁喇．．．．ｂｕｔ唔緊要喇～還掂我又唔係齋等，我有帶書黎溫嫁嘛～＊

佢３點２０分落到黎～＊ｋａｋａ頭都未梳的樣子好可愛ｌｅ～＊佢見我拎住個ｍｕｊｉ袋～就問我裡面ｄ野係唔係送俾佢ｇｅ～＊ｋｅｋｅ　ｏｆ　ｃｏｘ喇！！～佢拎左件波衫出黎～＊即刻著起佢！＊ｔｈｅｎ錫左我１啖．．．．．佢好似好開心咁ｇｅ樣～＊ｂｕｔ件衫係未剪招牌的＞．＜佢勁到用牙咬住之後扯斷佢ｌａｗ．．．．勁ａｒ．．．．

我好叻咁樣用自己件外套包住罐係７－１１買ｇｅ雀檸～ｋｅｅｐ住佢凍凍地嘛～＊因為ｃ先生飲野鐘意凍的．．．．．

我同佢坐左係度傾左陣～＊佢講俾我聽佢以前細細個有個夢發左６年～６年來都係同１個夢（當然唔係日日都發喇～＊）～佢又話佢試過想係夢入面叫自己醒，但係花左好大氣力都打唔開對眼．．．．好似有ｄ俾鬼「ｊａｒｋ」ｇｅ感覺．．．．．仲有１個「落緊樓梯但踩空氣」既夢～我都有發嫁．．．．．ｃ先生話佢前幾日發左個夢，夢入面，有好多隻蜘蛛係佢個身度．．．．之後佢訓左係沙漠．．．．．ｄ蜘蛛撥完又上番黎～＊整極都整唔走．．．．．佢話佢平時係唔會發夢，除非果排壓力大先會．．．．唉～＊我又幫佢唔到＞．＜唯有做１個聆聽者吧！

之後佢帶左我去睇波～＊今日ｄ人都唔勁ｇｅ～ｃ先生教左我好多關於足球ｇｅ野．．．ｋａｋａ我對足球真係１ｄ認識都冇～＊佢話教識我點睇波之後，第時就可以叫我睇佢踢波．．．．．我希望我真係可以慢慢滲入佢的圈子喇．．．．．．但唯１的問題就係，佢次次都係夜晚８點半先開始踢．．．但我邊可以咁夜出街啵＞．＜唉～＊又係１個大難題．．．．．．．

之後去左ＫＦＣ果度食～＊佢撞到佢個ｆｄ～不過佢冇行埋去同佢傾．．．．因為．．．．ｋａｋａ佢個ｆｄ好似響度溝緊女。。。‧‧‧

佢問我食唔食．．．其實我怕出暗瘡嫁～ｂｕｔ唔想佢覺得我成日都唔肯食野，所以就乖乖地咁食ｌａ～佢叫我鐘意點食就點食．．．唔使成日都斯斯文文咁．．．．．其實我不嬲都係慣左咁食野～唔係響度扮斯文囉．．．．就算係ｄ識左好多年的ｆｄ～我係佢地面前都係咁樣食野．．．．．我地２個一齊ｓｈａｒｅ左個３號餐．．．ｋｅｋｅ！！第１次係男仔面前食野係冇咩顧忌的．．．．．

原來ｃ先生都鐘意食葡撻ｇｅ～雖然今次冇買到～不過遲ｄ我會買俾佢食！！～ｃ先生仲話我知，有次佢番大６，佢１口氣食左１０個～＊嘩．．．我最叻都只係可以食到２．５個．．．．

食完之後就行番佢屋企～佢食完野之後，１定要食番支煙．．．．其實咁樣對身體唔好嫁～不過我都費事話佢，費事話得多佢又唔高興ｌａ．．．．不過我真係好辛苦．．．．．

之後係佢屋企坐左陣，就走ｌｕ～其實我今日諗住陪佢陪到夜晚嫁．．．不過佢都唔想我陪，咁咪算ｌａｗ．．．．．佢送我行左１半的路程～＊ｔｈｅｎ佢就唔送ｌａ～ｋｅｋｅ佢走之前，我送左份禮物俾佢～哈！！等佢以為淨係１件波衫咁簡單．．．．．

我送左條藍眼石俾佢～＊其實係虎眼石的同類黎ｇｅ～＊只係比虎眼石罕見１點～＊我好早之前已經買左諗住送俾佢嫁喇！！～因為我見佢頸上面戴住粒虎眼石，所以想送多樣俾佢ｌａｗ．．．．唔知佢會唔會唔鐘意ａｒ～不過送左先喇！佢唔鐘意咪擺埋一面ｌａｗ～

點先俾人覺得２個人係１對情侶？我諗係２個人之間應該表現到１種默契．．．．．我已經好努力地嘗試去配合佢．．．．真係好努力．．．．我諗冇人明白我為佢改變左幾多．．．．真係冇人知道．．．．．．特別係ｃ先生，佢跟本１ｄ都唔知，因為我識佢既第１日，我都係戴住面具去識佢．．．．佢見到ｇｅ，只係１個冇脾氣的我．．．．．１佢唔會扭計ｇｅ我．．．．１個凡事都就晒佢ｇｅ我．．．．．我怕我將有１日．．．．撐不下去＞．＜

其實我真係病得好辛苦～但係今日係佢生日，我點都要扮到好精神咁．．．．有時我係度諗，到底佢知唔知我病左嫁呢．．．？

>>January 6, 2005 at 2:17:41 PM GMT+8

2004 年 11 月 6 日 星期六 【晴】

今日起身，病得愈來愈嚴重呢～手手腳腳又冇力啵～又發燒．．．．唉～＊食左粒藥都唔見有咩好轉．．．

呢個ｗｅｅｋｅｎｄ真係忙鬼死～超多功課之餘仲要應付星期１的ｂｉｏ　ｔｅｓｔ．．．．不容有失ｌｅ～

>>January 6, 2005 at 2:15:01 PM GMT+8