Being asked “Why are you depressed? Life is beautiful!” is like saying “Why do you have asthma? There is so much air!”
Before you judge, make sure you’re perfect…never look down on anyone..only God sits that high.
>>November 18, 2018 at 5:56:26 PM GMT+8
2018 年 11 月 17 日 星期六 【颳風】
: …have you ever considered…how your mental illness makes ME feel?! How much you’re hurting ME???
me: I actually consider that every single day of my life and think about how much better it would be if I was dead but thank you for your contribution, I love being reminded of how much of a burden I am.
>>November 17, 2018 at 5:51:29 PM GMT+8
2018 年 11 月 16 日 星期五 【颳風】
Rule #2 Spots don’t change
Each of us is a unique concoction of our genes, our upbringing, our experiences. None of these things we can change. And together these ingredients make us the extraordinary, unique people we are today.
Now, I don’t know if you’re much of a cook, but if you were to put together eggs, self-raising flour, butter and sugar, you’d pretty much get a cake of some sort. These’s not a lot you can do about that. If you’d wanted an omelette, say, you shouldn’t have put the sugar in (or indeed the flour, and most of the butter). If you’re working with a preset group of ingredients, you don’t have much room for manoeuvre.
This is just as true as people. They are what they are. A given set of genes, along with a particular history of experiences. Most of us don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what made us who we are, so we don’t have much control over how we behave, react, feel, cope, function.
It’s easy to look at other people and think they shouldn’t behave a certain way, but actually they haven’t got much choice. You might think you’d act differently, and you’d probably be right, because your raw ingredients are different. If you started out with no flour or sugar, and you’ve even got a nice bit of cheese, you could produce a lovely omelette. Bug they can’t.
I’m not saying you and I can’t learn to change if we want to, but that’s because we can choose to expose ourselves to circumstances that enable us to do that. Or, of course, maybe we can’t make that choice right now - we’d need the right ingredients to be able to change.
Let’s not get into a philosophical debate about free will and determinism. (interesting though that is). This is about other people. And the Rule is that other people don’t have the same choices as you (if they even have any choices) about how they behave. So you can’t expect them just to magic them selves into a different person because it suits you. Whether your partner can’t cope with commitment, or your boss never delegates properly, or your child is hopeless with money, or your sister always chooses to criticize rather than praise - you’ll drive yourself mad trying to make them who you think they should be. The sooner you accept them as they are, they easier it will be for you.
Your boss can’t delegate because of an almost infinitely complex array of past experiences and inner character, and unless they choose to change, it just won’t happen. Maybe it won’t even if they really want to. You’re banging your head against a brick wall. If your relationship can only work if your partner changes their attitude to commitment, then I’m afraid it can’t work, because their attitude is a part of them. Of course, you could maybe choose to change your need for commitment…or could you?
>>November 16, 2018 at 5:14:01 PM GMT+8
2018 年 11 月 5 日 星期一 【颳風】
Everything will be over soon, just hang in there..
>>November 5, 2018 at 4:14:37 PM GMT+8
2018 年 11 月 3 日 星期六 【陰】
Rule #1 Understanding helps
We all have a backstory. It explains why we behave as we do. Ok, it doesn’t always justify it, but at least it’s a reason for our behaviour. Of course, no one else ever knows all the details and complexities of your backstory like you do, but lots of people get the gist.
There’ll be a reason why certain things make you feel more anxious, stressed, excited, depressed, relaxed, angry, confident than other people do. It might be genetic, it might be because of bad past experiences, or according to Freud it might all be down to your parents. Friends might say that you shouldn’t stress so much about this, or be so suspicious about that, or be too laid back, or shout so much. But they don’t understand - if they’d been to the same school as you, or lived through the poverty you have, or had siblings like yours, or worked for your last boss, they’d realise why you behave that way.
Listen, this is true of everyone. There’s no one on the planet who isn’t shaped by their personal experiences. So when your colleague snaps at you, or your friend lets you down, or your partner forgets your birthday, just remember there’s always a reason. It might be a rubbish reason, but there’s a reason.
And I’m telling you this because if you can understand the reason, it makes it easier to deal with other people’s negative behavior. Even if you can’t change the way they act, you’ll find it slightly easier to take if you get the reasons behind it. And often simply because you’re prepared to understand, they can let go of being defensive and decide to change their behaviour.
Suppose your boss is always stressy whenever there is a risk of getting behind schedule, whether it’s a prestige project or just an internal lunch meeting. It’s not your fault, and you don’t appreciate them taking out their stress on you. But what if you knew - or even just suspected - that their father was a strict disciplinarian who hated lateness? Or in their last job they missed out on promotion because they missed a crucial deadline? Doesn’t that make you feel a weensy bit more sympathetic? Wouldn’t you like to help a bit? Good. Then make sure that you’re always in good time, and if anything has to run up to the wire, keep your boss fully in the picture well in advance about when everything will happen, and spell out why it means you won’t overrun. There now. Your boss will be less stressed and less stressy with you. Isn’t that better?
Let’s be clear - I’m not excusing bad behaviour. Of course no one should take their stress out on someone who doesn’t deserve it. Or their anger, their anxiety, their insecurity or anything else. But it happens. This is about helping you to cope when you’re on the receiving end of it. I’m not asking you to understand the other person’s motivations for their sake, but for yours.
於是我同自己講男朋友係冇心去講lee d 説話去傷害我
妘ㄚY承受左好多壓力同傷害
所以先講出lee d 說話
以前嘅坉曮Y咁㗎
妘ㄚY想安慰我
不過可能係太想我離開傷痛
所以才覺得要說些話做些事才能拯救和幫助我..
好似其他人一樣
�哋話 “why don’t you just move on?”
“Live your own life.”
“有勇氣去自殺，點解冇勇氣去生存？”
Being asked “Why are you depressed? Life is beautiful!” is like saying “Why do you have asthma? There is so much air!”
Rule #1 Understanding helps
自己的都丟空了,你的也封塵.
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