2002 年 12 月 8 日 星期日 【晴】

I wonder if Vicki had received my mail, not replying to me like everyone else....

Ar, forgot to mention, the narrator said 'Enjoy your Christmas w/ your loved ones.' This ended the whole service, and I settled home. On my way, I really want to press #1 dial to my brother. I wanted to shout, I miss my friends... and how can my X'mas be with them? I wondered...

Rosa's had her Cultural Night yesterday and I am not there on stage~~~ POOR!

>>December 9, 2002 at 12:44:35 AM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 8 日 星期日 【晴】

Osp~~ I woke at 12am, noticing that I haven't finish my Weekly Journal, actually, am I working slowly? Not until this morning 7:15am that I finished all of my assignment. I did one extra, hoping that Vicki would be impressed. Here now I am in the PC room, oh! A call from CAE~~~ I thought that will not answer my msg tim~~ hopefully I will have a happy Jacnuary with CAE. Aunt offered me $5 per day to take her children. At first, $ attracts me, but then, osp... then I need to stay at home for 22 days. That would drive me crazy and moreover, even my course will be ended in 20 Dec, I am wanting to go to school to play my piano and viola! Probably I will be going to school in January too.

I asked uncle to change my plan for Telstra, if not I am going to end up in jail~~~　＄５００　this month, sigh... Aunt said she understands how in need is the IDD calls for me and she asked me to pay $15 instead of $30, the remaining, she will pay with my expenses for renting & food stuff. Then she suffers... she said uncle has High Blood Pressure and don't want to give him work wo....OK, if she's fine, I benefit anyway~~~ but... there's still sth wrong...

Yesterday while I was waiting for my books in the State Library, I was attracted by some music outside. When I stepped in the library, I had seen people setting up a stage for some performance, but when I see that they are having drums and guitars, no way that I will stay.

They held a carol service at 4, I joined in at 5, wanting to go out for awhile and return, then my books would be ready. Yet it sounds good and there are 2 violin players. THIS is the point in which I stay... haha. I wonder what my peers are doing...

>>December 9, 2002 at 12:39:38 AM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 7 日 星期六 【晴】

上星期收到了成績後好唔開心，同碧君同學佢又冇乜講野．．．學校開會呀，要extent我！？點解呀．．．

我足足煩左Fiona１好幾日喇．我都估唔到佢會想睇下我的作文．哥一日返到屋企，就寫比佢．我上個星期交比Vicki的一個作品稱為 ‘The Grave’，這排做讀書報告講開series．記得我係撒撒中五時寫了 ‘The graveyard’作文，講間課室．．．仲有比Helen姐‘I am going to die’（哥）隻歌仔同埋比Luz的‘Death Wishes’．這一切一切都係寫於我唔開心的時候．

星期三放假，去左Carlton，下午去了Queen Mkt，再下下午在Library．大鳥仲未見人呀．手提電話要交五百元．．．完蛋了

等不了了，笫二天我好早就返到學校，Fiona 1都未返，我放下了封信比佢就去左學琴．大家今日都好多野做呀，星期五要交Folio呢．到了四點小息快完的時候，我去了找佢．佢多謝我的信信後就話Brenda 唔會extent我的課程．唔知佢有冇睇到我的嘔心瀝血的作文呢．．．當佢講完這句話，我冇聲出了．一小句說話就可以攪點我的case，勁呀．但我真係好喜歡佢．

都係要多謝校長．．．

今個聖誕．．．想要．．．我套演出服呀，白衫, 褲＋裙，哈哈，下年三月有用．演出仲有要考試，和玩 協奏曲（單簧管加中提琴加三角琴）．我問了老師有何樂團可以玩，不過佢話年底了，樂團會攪一年的最後一次音樂會，再放假．如果我要玩，等下年吧．好開心今天上堂～～

這幾天好彩得多，佢經常下大雨，不過我都在室內呢．我天天都穿上外套。我找到了影印＄０．０５～～　正！不過要坐巴士十分（中）先去到．唔會傻的嗎？

>>December 7, 2002 at 9:01:46 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 5 日 星期四 【晴】

Days withou writing diaries... are my depressing days, desperate..

Extremely unhappy & busy...

You know I escape problems by working busyily... getting things to do and hanging out without problems... this is my way, not my will.

>>December 6, 2002 at 1:50:45 AM GMT+8

2002 年 11 月 30 日 星期六 【晴】

其實我寫日記唔係唯一要告訴您們我的生活，我自己都會睇返我做過的事，一個月，一個星期，不時都反思一返．今日都好似係這間小小小room到做左好多野．做功課啦當然，又玩接龍，eat， nap， take photo，listen to music, dry my clothes．．．好似不見天日咁．．．哈哈哈．唔知點樣先係一個又正又掂的留學生呢？

>>December 2, 2002 at 7:36:26 PM GMT+8

2002 年 11 月 30 日 星期六 【晴】

星期五晚上成床都係功課，書啦，電腦啦，我好累呀，都頂唔住睡了，我十二點醒左，好想上網，不過不得了，真係用曬一星期的能量，又可能係唔開心啦，比自己休息下吧．期待明晚上網．

係呀，好精彩呀～　我們三點去了 state library ，玩到六點，因為有仔仔係身，我放棄冇同佢一起去，仔仔就留下在學校，放係Vicki 到．嘩，佢行得好快呀，正，我都係咁架，呵呵．．．精彩唔係這裡，係完左的時候，我同Vicki 兩個一起返學校，我頭先收到了我期待左好奈好奈的 monthly report ．．．

唉，唔滿意呀．．．四項只有 speaking improve左，現在好平衡了，又點呢，我努力的，好似仲有好多好多架，當時 Vicki 同我講返我只係開始了一個月，由一個程度去到另一個程度係一大絛路的，我有前進，不過又未去到下一個程度．佢問我估下下一個 report 有幾多分．我次次做好多，得出的結果我都唔滿意的，我唔想再比自己唔開心呀． Expectation increases, disappointment increases.

當差不多行到返學，我認唔住了（好在仲認到冇哭．．．）！我同佢講班裡有些問題，佢回應返我，話下午同Fiona 講過下，冇交功課的事．．．

唔知Joy’s仲記唔記得在我們返撒撒的最後一日，我同佢講，’I love you, but sometimes I hate you too.’ I mean it~~　佢好唔開心我咁講，但後來佢男朋友仔告訴佢真正的朋友係會講真野，好的不好的都會告訴佢．可能Fiona從o個次罵我都告訴了我知佢唔喜人話佢的英文卦．．．

有數唔到的功課等待我．．．星期六早上我去了 local library 找一找有冇講抽筋的資料，早兩晚做做下功課隻腳痛到死呀！佢喜歡就抽下筋，唔使理我架啦．我真係好奇怪點解我過到來澳洲的身體 check 呢，當我仲不時會頭暈，抽筋．．．
And then 去了 Box Hill 找工，比左名呀，佢請唔請就是但佢吧．後來我再去到 state library，見到阿Ken．日日留係屋企好悶架柏柏，你唔係唔知家裡仲有兩個小孩架啦．．．最後一站係返中浸．嘩，唱唱下歌，two drops of tears came out of my eyes，唔知咩意思呢～～回來時阿媽電電我，講講下電話冇電．．．

今日星期日了，天氣比昨日好好多．不過我都係要攪掂堆功課先再想想出唔出去吧．下午了，明明溫度比昨日高左，不過我都偽覺得好凍咁．我似唔知邊個名人咁四小時睡十五分（中），都仲係好累．唔．．．可能ｍ快到呢！？；P


期待大鳥快些回來，也有時間同我去 eat dinner．．．都可能問問佢好唔好去學 street theatre．

Sensitive VS Sensible，我是誰？

PS
NO density, faith, courage, pain, struggle, sacrifice…NO VICTORY
We are the team, we make the dream, we, the Form 5, make a dream team!

>>December 1, 2002 at 3:52:29 AM GMT+8

2002 年 11 月 28 日 星期四 【晴】

The complaint letter was passed onto me... I read...

Then continue to prepare my presentation, since I am the second one this afternoon.

Vicki sat at my place, I placed the letter at the bottom of my letter...

They signed, but I didn't... YET!?


This morning be4 class starts, one of the classmate asked if I had finished my HW,

she asked me not to pass up, she had told the teacher that no one knows how to do.

Ivan was next to her, he asked me not to be so mean, so serious...

I know what he means, but I am much clear that what's wrong and what's right...

I am wise enoughto decide what I am going todo

They glanced at it and said Don't know...asked the techer not to submit

What about my effort? I worked the whole night, there are examples,why not be able to do it?

Vicky asked Fiona to stay at lunch time, Fiona stared at me... Hey!?

I am not into AGAINST because Fiona had commenced this complaint thing

But really I like the school, nth's wrong for me.

I am WHO I AM
-EMILY - A DETERMINED PERSON, A STRAGE PERSON, AND NOBODY'S BELOVED FRIEND...

>>November 29, 2002 at 2:55:20 AM GMT+8

2002 年 11 月 28 日 星期四 【晴】

How nice to receive Big Bird's call, he reminded me not to stay at home too often, explore the world and be mad for it, or I may not be able to do this in Macau, ya...maybe. But he will go to Perth some days later...

I am glad to hear from you JACKIE, it really keeps me from writing this stuff. Thanks everyone!

Well, mum's OK will sending and receiving e-mail. Ai, maybe try something... her e-mail is [email protected] , Jackie, you may mail her and see if she will respond...haha, I am busy these days, didn't write much to her. BUT anyway, thanks~~ I think she ought to know how to download...as I got several pics here, new ones, better ones too~~~

Well, it's seven? And I have already finished my breakfast. Yesretday a friend from USA sent me a box of chocolate for X'mas. This year I really mind a lot with my spending, and so I didn't buy much for my friends, but that chocolate is so nice, there were 4, I ate one, and wanting the others too. But,,, sharing is better...I gave to my 2 cousins and my aunt, just left with me a box and one piece of chocolate. The feeling's nice, sharing. X'mas is a time to share, right?

>>November 28, 2002 at 8:04:41 PM GMT+8

2002 年 11 月 28 日 星期四 【陰】

早上三點幾，澳洲幾多點．．．唔知呀，都做到天昏地暗咁．．．這兩天都做presentation ，昨日開始的，我話今日做，點知白痴左，前日冇乜功課，昨日勁多呀．講開功課．．．唉．．．Fiona 話攪complaint．我反對！不過．．．比人罵咩，成村人都唔想做咁多功課，我一個人企住，一定冇好日子過．仲有呀，我同佢都冇講野了，我反對，會否火上加油呢？ｄ人明唔明點解要做功課架，笫一，學了，要溫習，做多一些，得到的也多一些，我們也是受惠了，又可以有一個好好的開始，學習time management．如果個miss 唔睇我們的功課，真係唔好做．．．不過 Vicky 佢check曬架，一粒英文佢都會比意見，上個星期寫比佢的日記．我都唔知同佢交流左幾多野．．．佢話我 as quiet as a mouse～　另一個係佢地話上堂唔可以傾計，唔，佢係有罵人傾計，不過係學生不對，人地做緊presentation，好心就專重下啦，講又要講中文，唔比人話就奇喇．佢地會寫信囉，如果要個個寫名，我古我會唔寫．．．我明白這裡有言論自由，不過我唔 agree with them呢．

昨晚同大鳥傾左＄０．８電話．．．

>>November 28, 2002 at 7:28:12 PM GMT+8

2002 年 11 月 27 日 星期三 【晴】

好似無啦啦有點糊呀，咩事呢唔知？

頭先又攪掂了個 lunch ．．．一點可去彈琴，開心呀．．．

明日又上堂，又冇左四十大元了，

就怏又月頭，交租呀．

柏柏記住 recharge your phone or whatever.....

>>November 27, 2002 at 10:48:48 PM GMT+8