2002 年 12 月 13 日 星期五 【晴】

由前日開始，就冇用過部手提了，一來冇人電我，二來我禁左自己用手提．唉，唔開心的時候真係想電電您們架．

當昨日快要哭泣時．．．猩猩，猩猩呀！！！

從前到現在，猩哥哥唔比我哭的，上次我大哭了．因為一個準備了多時的比賽，比得唔好．今天我好努力做好英文班上的野，好有心．點解會唔得架．雖然我未正實係唔係真，不過有可能．．．有一小小的可能性都唔好啦．Action speaks louder than words, right? I did!

係呀，昨日做左Ｍ記的ｅssay，好有ｆｅｅｌ！記得在撒撒時，個個測驗都係寫呀寫．．．好奈都未咁玩過了．不過我昨日好唔雜中，我個位可睇到出面Fiona的辨工室，當時Brenda見緊人．．．我睇到好多野呀！

Jason搬左出來，找日開Ｐ呀，唉，唔好攪我吧．阿ｋｅｎ話下星期五去eat dinner，因佢同Fiona都會走．阿義都走，我唔知點呀，星期六唔想見人．Wayney說得冇錯，好多人來到只會去玩．我也明白了為何哥哥會擔心我了．不過佢地都係relax一下吧，反正都放假．

六點喇．．．一會兒後回到學校要找Vicki先，一來睇睇會點．昨日又好似好唔專重佢，講返聲對不起吧．另外佢冇比功課worksheet我們做呀，但係星期一要交的．

I am listening to those DRAMA’s songs, sung by SUN and written by Dino. Suddenly the scene came into my mind…when Dino jump down to the sea because of Daisy. Osp, I hope I am not turning to crazy. What a fanatic negative person…

今日９點未到又到了學校．Ms Brown 同Mrs Gurney傾緊計．都唔想要佢幫我開音樂室了．我到了四樓，不過Vicki未返，我就好無聊咁上左五樓上網，悶悶下返回四樓等Vicki．見到佢時，取了worksheet，也apologise～my annoyance．頂～～　She said she has forgotten about it.

Later CAE phoned me about the music camp, costing $845 for 8 days. Osp, I was at school and wanting to pass up my folio, so didn’t talk long with her. She left me her number, yet, I didn’t write it down, as I won’t accept the expenses…

The HW we need to pass up is so difficult! One of those was a photocopied false report that we write for ourselves. Evaluate ourselves and also give the marks for ourselves. When I write all 6, is it realistic? Since the graduation thing… I changed my mind and write 2 fives and 2 sixes. However when I pass up the sheet, Vicki asked how was it… she said she is in stress right now…. Is it about my report?

Were in a hurry to catch a train later on. We arrived to the marine and got on to the boat. Vicki was a bit late due to her nature call, she went on board and sat next to me. I told her about yesterday night I though of sth about suicide and that case of Dino’s. She said men are emotional! More than that of women…Well, 2 sides to weight la… She asked will I throw myself to the water if I have problems with my love relationship, I said no. Just another second, she asked, am I sure…. NO~~ Um… will, if I am not going to be progressing in my SKUS. She asked what’s happen then? No more worries~~

I asked how exactly could I be promoted to the next level, as I really concern a lot about this SKUS. Somehow I am jealous too, why Alice & Ivan got sixes… and I got all fives…

She offered her GLUCOSE candies to everyone, I was delighted, as I saw it on sale in the pharmacy last time in Box Hill, and wanting to buy it. I am in need of glucose, I am not sure when I am going to faint.

On the ship, there were common topics for me. Music stuff with Alice, Also talking about sign language and First Aid with Louisa & Ivan. They are from St John too. Great, we are on the same boat.

After we had arrived at Williamstown, we went straight to the restaurant that Vicki booked. Woo, so many kinds of pasta! Actually we don’t know how to order… We managed to order sth good though~~ I like the pizza with BBQ sauce. The bill for each one comes to $5.5. Fantastic! 3 slices of different pizza with half bowl of the pasta. I wish when we dine out, the prize is like that with enjoyable food.

Later we sat out our adventure to find a beach. We were able to get into one after passing a highway, and some bush area. Yet it was so small and wonder if it is a beach. The Costal Heritage Park is full of grass, not even a tree is there, maybe they just sowed their seeds. I passed by Titanic Entertainment and some gift shops.

We met Vicki on the way and she showed us her souvenirs. I wanted to buy a ring, $0.5~~~ no way, I better wait for someone to give me one instead! Anyway, we ended up playing BANG BAN WA! That gun shooting game. When we were waiting for the boat, I took some pictures with ‘Ceiling Dion’ ~

>>December 13, 2002 at 7:19:38 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 12 日 星期四 【晴】

Tonigth spent quite a long time on the net

Wandering... Wondering...

>>December 12, 2002 at 6:34:45 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 12 日 星期四 【晴】

Give me JOY in my heart give me blessing...
Give me Silent in my heart, I pray~~~

Jackie's in silence, Penny's in silence, I am in silence too. Thanks Zaku...

Depressed again, easily despirit, am I?

I will be absent this Sat for CCBC, Pls note that Derek~~ deal to my unhappiness & some stuff to finish up. Well, school's ending next week, everyone's end for this year, since holiday's coming.

>>December 12, 2002 at 6:14:43 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 12 日 星期四 【晴】

Vicki~~~
I walked as slow as I can, hoping that Vicki could catch up with me to the train station, though I have no idea if she’s going there or not… All I know is she commutes. Nevertheless, I wondered, I am upset too. She asked if Alice & me could prepare sth for the graduation next week. She mentioned that Ken & Fiona will be graduating. Um um… I listened to her, but asked, so does that mean only 2 ppl could graduate from our class? Ya… Osp, then it means that I am not going to get rid of this course by next week and need an extention?

I asked her again if I need to extent my course…but she’s reluctant to answer me, she asked me to think over our FIRST conversation…. The level? The gap? Oh, no… I felt so upset, can’t think what to play in the graduation, can’t finish my task, can’t talk, can’t work, can’t stand, can CRY only…

I had just recovered by Fiona’s assurance of me not extending the course… Now it’s all over again!? Shit~~ She returned us all the folios, I have 9 now, she requires 8, probably Ivan will be doing 10 too. Anyway, the results is satisfactory for me, one excellent, the other Very good and one more with brilliant. A vivid improvement can be seen from these results comparing to my first 2 folios.

Tomorrow’s Black Friday, I am not feeling well….

I really would like to stay in Taylors, but if it’s my English not good enough, I can’t bear it! I want to improve there! I met Mrs Gurney this morning, a nice nurse~~ Any one wanting to do nursing? Go to Australia!

See!? All this I scattered with my English, without any drafts or whatever, I improved. I know I had done much more for David, but Vicki… I have began to work for her too~~~ I worked hard, I got good results too…

WHY!

>>December 12, 2002 at 5:19:25 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 10 日 星期二 【雨】

昨晚好凍呀，又下雨，我９點幾幾先返到去，真係好黑呀條街．我抱住仔仔返來，如果冇佢我一定驚死喇．如果佢冇我，一定會好慘，冇左我佢都唔會有衫啦，攪到我好凍呢～～～

電話費交左了，今個月好就住自己，冇咩大事都唔可以用電話喇～～～

兩點幾，唔，好似冇功課呀，都仲係床到．．．係呀，星期一要決定讀咩科了．唔掂呀，都唔知讀咩好：

1. Eng + Maths + Music + Economics + Computer Science ?
2. Eng + Maths + Music + Economics + Graphic Arts？
3. Eng + Maths + Music + Graphic Arts + Computer Science?
最後一個組合唔錯吧！？哈哈．．．

唉．．．另外都可以讀會計的，不過唔好攪我呀．

>>December 11, 2002 at 7:40:31 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 10 日 星期二 【晴】

Have a passion for working,
Yet fly into a passion one day.
Since her zest varies.
Nothing relieves their conflicts,
This rise to her a challenge.
In principle, she's right!
It's the matter of opinion
Poor self-imposed girl,
Her goal is never satisfied
Belittle herself forever
Living silent as the grave.

等了一個星期，Vicki回應我了，好開心呀，四個功課都做得好好．其中一個有’Very Good’，另外一個有’Brilliant’．仲記得Ms Shelley Grace對我說過’Fantastic！’Every cloud has its own silver lining~~ right? Vicki的說話使我有返一種真係開心的開心．Dino話中文好有意思，粒粒都有不同的意義，英文都有呀．．．一樣咁touch~~ 上面係’The Grave’，中文的有些唔知講乜，不過冇時間攪攪佢呀，有空先啦．今晚會做多幾個Folio，其實唔使再做了，我都做好曬，不過做多一些，留下一個好impression．當我再一次睇返Vicki在信上對我說的野，我真係唔想離開呀．不過這兒學費唔平．．．我可以的話在二十日都要走的．我喜歡了Taylors呀．仲有，放學回家了，收到兩大封信呀，好好好開心～～～
頂，（種）計呀，上個星期六日去State Library找了的資料唔使用了，我唔記得左寫bibliography呀．明晚唔返去住，放學會到Library做作文．明早要同仔仔一起返學，仲要早一點出去呢，好在今日洗左頭喇．

係呀，Vicki話佢會離開我們幾日，去睇doctor呀．我都想了好奈佢係唔係吸煙的，因為佢有一些煙味．．．望佢快一些回來啦，我們時日冇多了．

>>December 10, 2002 at 7:34:15 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 10 日 星期二 【晴】

The Call Forth

Dreary is disappearing,
Desolate fades out too.
Blessed by the Fates,
Ring out to my spirit.

Seeing the light of her reverberate,
In the vicinity of the precinct.
Being cocoons by palatial warmth,
Delighted me now and forever.

Upholsters for Christmas
Gashes my skepticism
Inclement lights up too!
Smash! Sword’s on my hand!
Knockout affably.

>>December 10, 2002 at 7:33:44 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 10 日 星期二 【晴】

坦率地說, 我真誠地非常欣賞(感謝)(理解)你(們)。 為聽我和讓我說人們的說非常感謝。 我也喜歡為我的 煩惱 也道歉。 這裡, 我關於我的自的願意給你(們)因為你(們)限制了關於我的資訊Ｘ光。什麼時候我在國小裡, 我是一塊喋喋不休骨頭, 但是, (這些)教師為以某種模式談話斥責了我。 我使我的嘴逐漸持續關, 幾乎從不(絕不), 從不(絕不)再開它(這)。 直到我的年 10 的一天, 我為我的行為(性能)接待了 丙等+ 。 我在我就我的行為(性能)來說一直得到所有的所有我的學年(被)驚訝了。 Osp , 從不(絕不)我儘管那些講(話)計數, 這個教師說我對討論(論述)很少有好處因此, 她給了我那等級。 我不機會費用, 但是對談話。 這次正是在以前我的歡呼伙伴- 好遇到的開始出現。 朋友作為涼(冷)和 如謎的 評論了我。 我是強壯(強烈)唯心主義。 還有時很大期望剛剛(僅僅)辜負我辜負得比進步的多。 我可能容易是 dispirited 。 我幾乎不(沒)微笑, 但是, 可以(可能)在一個藍月亮 放聲大笑 了一次。

我幾乎不(沒)也是狂熱者睡覺美人(美)。我致力於對工作, 也許我也許在我的學習(研究)以後測竿。 我沒有對(用 )於 結婚或者甚至有男朋友的希望(願望)。 直到那時我也許至少, 不現下, 是 四十歲者 。 我確實認為我是萬事通。 在這裡工作不純粹意思是有閱歷, 但是剛剛(僅僅)繼續一再工作不停。 我確實是 工作第一的人 , 我喜歡出席任何種類的過程(道路)。 這個鋼琴和 中提琴 在我的業餘時間我對實踐喜歡並且我喜歡是志願兵。 有時我確實認為二十個四小時一天是不足夠為我, 但是, 無論如何, 在我的巨視世界中已經忽視吃和睡覺的過程(方法)。 它(這) 荒唐可笑地 響了, 對嗎? 我想成為我想要的, 使世界為了看(見), 特別某人從所有其餘。 我從不(絕不)喜歡必定, 我是一個造反者女兒。 總是在我的生活(生命)首先工作來。 當(儘管)所有我的教師都來了第二和第三是我的家庭。

我在幾個時代幾乎傾覆這些極少天(日), 我是確實。 我的心臟相像有 流淚 。 維琪 打這個指甲(釘子)的我的頭, 說明我是沈默寡言的。 此外, 今天藍的螺栓, 出十八的十五用 布藍達 8 個學生舉行會議 SKUS 。 透(顯)露了我的其他同學的結果。 我確實模糊, 想知道他們中的一些為什麼有很大改進。 通常比較幫助人工作得更努力與其他(人)相對競賽, 但是它(這)不為我剛剛(僅僅)工作, 僅僅製造我, 感到悲觀。 我不能夠說我對人們的最大努力工作, 但是, 我確實工作許多。, 用 維琪 的 談話 和你(們)實際上無可置疑釋放我許多。 我將不等著瞧就我的下一次報告而言, 以除了得打擊(衝擊)我的最好(以)到達那裡, 勝利!

在我的澳洲　　中的到達前, 的確, 我在附近1月 意識到, 在 MUFY 開始以前, 我有相當長(久)破裂(中斷)。 雖然我為月一直剛剛(僅僅)或者那麼在家裡房子泰勒, 但是我在這裡, 很非常確實享受(欣賞)我的生活(生命)。 儘管繼續, 我有我的大使館在1月 為一般英語, 以某種模式這更吸引人。 無論如何, 我仍然在 SKUS 太享受(欣賞), 但是, 這是差別。 當我願意學習得更多以及主任問我(以)擴展(伸出)我的過程(道路)時。

>>December 10, 2002 at 7:32:55 PM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 9 日 星期一 【晴】

Osp~~ I had a long conversation with Alice just now, I felt so good~~ we are somehow similar ma. She comes to Australia to escape from her ex-BF, I too...but escaping from too many things actually. And this morning Jackie told me that she might be going to Taiwan, to escape again!!! Everybody's like that!? Well...3 hours of playing piano routinly is absolutely boring. Alice came to my room and we started to chat, since we both were bored by the scales and the music. I would like to ask about if there's a party in Taylors, so we could perform and make some ensemble. Yet Ms Earle wasn't there this morning, I wonder where on earth had she been. Ms Brown helped me to open the door.

With Zaku's and captain Fong's query, I feel that I am not totally disappear from Macau, yeah~~~

>>December 10, 2002 at 12:45:29 AM GMT+8

2002 年 12 月 9 日 星期一 【晴】

隻眼腫左呀．．．昨晚的事了，咁樣明天點返學呢？我前日寄左封電郵比Vicki，佢都未回應我．唉，一個二個都係咁～～～頭先上網都係想check 一check有冇新郵件，點知睇到積奇仔的日記，嗚嗚．．．笫一個feeling就係人好自私呀．

好奈冇係我的日記出現的班長返來了！！！好開心，佢啦，古古啦，仲有Michelle都問候下我．這兒一個人，多麼的慘啊．唔，唔知班長同審美同學佢點呢，好掛住理工呀．．．我覺得審美同學好勁，我都幫班長做左好多好多野，不過審美幫佢做了一些我唔會幫人做的事．．．做功課呀．就比佢地一對吧　＞＿＜　～～

今日我竟然冇功課交．．．咩日子呀，平日我唔會咁架，有功課都唔知．．．阿Ros好嬲，因為我們冇做佢的功課，佢問有冇人冇做Vicki的功課呀，邊有呢．．．Vicki太重要了，冇左佢，我們都唔使走呀．

有點累．．．這排我都冇留意自己的生活，太唔開心了吧．頭先換衫時，見到隻手好thin呀，好恐怖呢！撞鬼呀，今日明明交兩個folio，我為了ｘｘｘ仲去做三個folio，叻下啦，點知due date係今個星期五．．．仲有一個未做起～要交８個folio呀．．．唔使睡了．星期一晚，成十一點先去睡覺，我做好了個folio喇，YEAH！！！不過今早起來累得不得了，仲要攪一攪M記’s notes．

努力！！！

>>December 9, 2002 at 7:52:15 PM GMT+8