2009 年 1 月 13 日 星期二 【晴】

中午多 skip lunch

周圍行

看看舊樓

很舒服

今天路過文武廟

記得 s 說這裡的姻緣籤特靈

求得一支好籤

很開心呢

解籤的說我跟這個他還沒有真正認識

這是甚麼意思呢?


晚上跟 r 去莎拉

她 describe 現狀真的非常準確

說這個人超多桃花

而且他覺得跟我不會 work

所以只能 just for fun

好像很對呢

莎拉說 2009 年超旺

不用急著找一個人

多看看不同的人

到 9, 10 月才決定跟誰


承她的貴言吧!


想不到

我最開心的不是 2009 年多機會

而是她說他並沒有欺騙我

他真的是想找一位太太

雖然這個她不是我

但我也因為他沒有騙我而覺得很高興

希望他能早日找到想要的吧!

^_^

>>January 15, 2009 at 2:45:20 PM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 12 日 星期一 【晴】

quoted from an online newsletter my Mirabelle Summers:

Does 'cheating' have
to spell the end of a relationship?

First up: you've GOT to take a look at the
context of the incident. What was the relationship
like prior to the cheating? Was there 'good cause'
for someone to stray? ...

... meaning, they didn't just turn their backs on
a perfectly good relationship and a wonderful
lover ... there was considerable strife and
unhappiness in the relationship.

Common causes that I would consider 'good
cause' include:

- A significant change in the personality of
the other person. For example: the surfacing of
addictive behavior; a religious conversion; a
sudden and complete lifestyle change; any serious
changes in personality and/or temper.

- A prolonged 'dry spell' in the bedroom.

- Loss of attraction for one or both people,
usually - USUALLY - caused by a marked change in
physical appearance: for example, the gaining or
losing of significant amounts of weight.

Now, before any feathers get seriously ruffled,
I'd like to explain just what I mean by 'good
cause'.

It does NOT mean that, if it occurred for a
'good cause' reason, that cheating is therefore
'OK' and to be expected.

What I mean by that is simply that infidelity
is not an inherent part of the cheater's nature -
there was a solid reason behind their behavior
that, given adequate communication and effort, may
actually be 'solvable' by both people in the
relationship.

A perfect example: I'm going to presume you've
seen the Sex & The City movie, in which case
you'll be familiar with the scene where Steve
tells Miranda that he's cheated on her.

Clearly, Steve wasn't 'the cheating type' ... but
he still went and did it, because he had - quote
unquote - 'good cause' to do so. (In their
particular case, they hadn't had sex in six months
and the intimacy in the relationship was on a
serious downward spiral.)

Contrast this with a 'dyed-in-the-wool cheater'
who will stray as a matter of course no matter
WHAT things are like in the relationship, and
you'll see what I mean.

See the difference?

Good.

Secondly: how did the infidelity come to light?
Was there a spontaneous confession on one person's
behalf ... or did you find out yourself, either
through snooping, or the intervention of a third
party?

In my opinion, the manner in which the cheating
came to light is majorly significant. If the
cheater felt guilty enough, and SORRY enough, to
come forward and confess, because they felt so bad
about it and needed you to know the truth ...

... even though they knew what the consequences
of so doing would likely be, i.e. rage, upset, and
the potential end of the relationship ...

... then that, in my opinion, points towards some
depth of character and a genuine desire on their
part to do the right thing.

Big step in the right direction; all may not be
lost.

BUT, if they DIDN'T come forward with the truth
... and if you had to figure it out for yourself,
either by acting on your suspicions and doing a
little private-eye work, or because a witness to
the infidelity decided to enlighten you ... then
that's a red flag. Not a good sign.

Cheating, in itself, is about as dishonest an
action as you can get. When you add FURTHER
dishonesty to the mix, there's some serious
trouble brewing.

And then of course you have to take the whole
history of the relationship into account: the
cheater's basic character, how well you get on,
how much you ordinarily would trust them, whether
or not this is 'out of character' or not.

Well ... unfortunately, I can't tell you what to
do. In fact, NO-ONE CAN. This is one of those
situations where the opinions of other people are
literally quite worthless; this is something that
you have to figure out for yourself.

But here are a few pointers to help you make up
your mind:

- Did you find out about it yourself, or did he
tell you spontaneously?

- What has the relationship been like up until
now?

- What role have YOU been playing in the
relationship? Have you been fun? Have you been
honest? Have either of you been deceiving each
other about anything? Have you been acting in a
way that could contribute towards an episode of
infidelity?

... to add on to this last point: yes, if there
has been cheating, you will have contributed to it
in some way, whether you realize this or not.
Contrary to popular belief, you are not a helpless
victim here, and some investigation may be needed
to figure out what happened and why.

It's quite common among women who feel they've
been 'wronged' - particularly where infidelity is
concerned - to assume the 'victimhood' mantle, and
give all the blame to the other party. But it's
been my experience that 'it takes two to tango' ...
and it's worth noting that cheating occurs because
someone's basic needs are not being met at home.

Now, those needs may be different from your
needs.

(For example, some people truly feel the need
to 'sample' lots of different lovers. This isn't a
'good' or a 'bad' need - it's simply one that will
likely preclude a long-term relationship with you.
Unless you also happen to share that particular
need.)

Again, let's look at the example of Miranda and
Steve. One of Steve's basic needs was that, in a
love relationship, he needs to be having sex more
than once every six months. He wasn't able to have
this need fulfilled by Miranda ... so he looked
elsewhere.

Is this a 'good' thing or a 'bad' thing? No, of
course not. My point is that Miranda, even though
she FELT like a victim, had in fact contributed to
the course of events ... even though she didn't
realize it until after the fact.

... and one last question to ask yourself:

- What impact does this incidence have on your
ability to trust your partner? If the two of you
decide to 'get past it' and stay together, will
you be able to sleep easy at nights in the future?
Or will you constantly be plagued by fears and
insecurities that you're 'not good enough', and
racked by jealousy any time he makes conversation
with another woman?

You will have to weigh up the nature of the
relationship as a whole against the incidence of
the cheating, and the manner in which you found
out about it. Once again, the ability to LISTEN TO
YOUR INSTINCTS is paramount here - which
essentially boils down to deep-seated
self-confidence, and having the SELF-ESTEEM to
honor your own feelings and your own BELIEFS about
the situation.

>>January 14, 2009 at 4:23:31 AM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 11 日 星期日 【晴】

今天超忙的工作了一整天

不知道從何時起

當我處於緊張狀態的時候

面會紅得像途了烟紅一樣



晚上跟 c 們吃飯

很想看 ca 的紅色褲紫色樓呢!

愉快的一個晚上 :)

>>January 12, 2009 at 4:53:41 PM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 10 日 星期六 【晴】

跟 r 去了試做 facial

star house 的環境很舒服

facial 也可以吧

下次可以再試試那個 oxygen treatment

最近喜歡上行街

好久沒有行街了

經常也是有目的的去

最近

再次喜歡上

:)

>>January 11, 2009 at 2:32:05 PM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 9 日 星期五 【晴】

跟媽媽及她的朋友飲茶

elements 的月満坊

蠻好吃呢

下次帶家人來吃

好幾年沒有見阿 dee 了

他的女兒超級可愛喔!

很像一個日本女孩

希望她健康快樂呢!


晚上看了 australia

還可以吧!

把誠意也計算在內的話

也有 3.8 分

nicole kidman

很苗條喔!

>>January 11, 2009 at 2:28:45 PM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 8 日 星期四 【晴】

第一次跟女 net friend 見面

36 歲

woaw, 很 attractive 很 gorgeous 呢!

為甚麼還沒有遇到她的他呢?

很健談

很開朗的一個女孩

我倆的性格有點像

但她的外型則好多了

很吸引喔!

我們去了 mo bar

希望她早日找到這個他吧!

我相信她一定會的

:)

nice to meet you


離開後

她發了一個 sms 給我

叫我 'love yourself'

對呢

我不夠愛自己

欠缺自信

但知道卻不身體力行......

那就好好 action 吧小姐

時間

是不等人的喔!

>>January 11, 2009 at 2:17:58 PM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 7 日 星期三 【晴】

靜坐老師問與答:

"Question: Is everything in this life predetermined?

Goenkaji: Well, certainly our past actions will give fruit, good or bad. They will determine the type of life we have, the general situation in which we find ourselves. But that does not mean that whatever happens to us is predestined, ordained by our past actions, and that nothing else can happen. That is not the case. Our past actions influence the flow of our life, directing it toward pleasant or unpleasant experiences. But present actions are equally important. Nature has given us the ability to become masters of our present actions. With that mastery, we can change our future."

>>January 7, 2009 at 2:49:06 AM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 6 日 星期二 【晴】

為何不喜歡呢? 連自己也弄不清楚

"The first step to finding yourself a
lasting, rewarding, and committed relationship is
through attracting somebody that YOU'RE attracted
to. And when it comes to attracting people, it
never hurts to hone your social skills to absolute
perfection!"

"Dear only with those who want to deal with you."
- Robert Ringer.

"don't give someone a SECOND CHANCE to trash you."

"If you don't feel different, you don't act differently -
and then your life doesn't change.... Even Cinderella had
to have a makeover!"

"keep your focus on how you're making your life all
it can be - not on how someone else did not desire you -
or didn't desire you ENOUGH!"

"...having a ritual, a routine, that you do every day
without fail. It can be an exercise routine, a plan to work
on your people skills, or anything at all.

A regimen takes discipline. But it is this one thing that
makes the difference. And it becomes much easier once you
just get started.

We can all talk about what we want to do - but it's when
we start really doing it, that's when we stop talking and
start doing.

BUT HERE IS THE AMAZING PART:

When you are in the midst of action, other things start to
happen for you - things that could never have happened if
you had not been living out your plan."

"When you accept bad treatment 'for the sake of
the relationship', you no longer pose a CHALLENGE
to the guy. He gets the message that he doesn't
have to 'try' in order to please you.

And believe it or not, men actually LIKE having
to step up to the plate and provide for you. It's
part of the bonding process."

>>January 7, 2009 at 2:11:18 AM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 5 日 星期一 【晴】

謝謝老闆 sponsor 參加 "Dialogue in the Dark" 的 workshop

兩個小時體驗失明

房間黑得連張開眼睛也看不到五指

完成不同的 task

很有趣



"Dialogue in the Dark" 是一間有名的社會企業

於世界各地也有 franchise

他們旨在 empower 一些相對較少權力的人士如失明人士

透過三小時的工作坊

由失明人士做導師

讓他們帶領參加者進行各種的 tasks



能從另一種角度去體驗人生

感受生活

很不錯

希望這次能幫助我更加能 put myself in the other shoes

以及嘗試抽離自己的主觀 judgment

從相對較客觀 (或是較不主觀)去看事物

去尋找另類應對事情的方法


http://www.dialogue-in-the-dark.com/

朋友們

可推介給公司敖做 training 呢!

>>January 6, 2009 at 7:02:17 AM GMT+8

2009 年 1 月 4 日 星期日 【晴】

看了這張照片和 caption

眼眶突然濕了

願世界上的兒童都能得到內心的平安

在愛中生活

也學習怎樣去愛




A Kenyan boy screams as he sees kenyan policeman with a baton approach the door of his home in the Kibera slum of Nairobi 17 January 2008. Hundreds of police who had earlier clashed with supporters of Kenya's opposition leader Raila Odinga at the entrance of the slum moved into the shantytown and did a house to house search for protestors. (WALTER ASTRADA/AFP/Getty Images) #



愛是很美麗的一件事



Pakistani men try to rescue a donkey buried during an earthquake in Ziarat, about 130 kilometers (81 miles) south of Quetta, Pakistan on October 30th, 2008. Rescue workers searched through the rubble of villages destroyed by a powerful earthquake in southwestern Pakistan that killed at least 215 people. (AP Photo/Emilio Morenatti/FILE) #

>>January 5, 2009 at 4:22:58 PM GMT+8