2005 年 8 月 12 日 星期五 【晴】

大名： ak友
電郵： [email protected]
說： 你好似唔化妝就唔見得人咁WOR
搵次放張無化妝,無搽粉
用近鏡既相上黎丫?
"美人"

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

我唔化妝真係好唔見得人嫁！！咁我皮膚差，又殘丫嘛～＊我從來都冇話過自己係美人啵＞．＜你咁樣叫我，我好唔自然嫁！！
我平時冇化妝咪覺得冇咩野好影，所以我多數都係化左妝先會影相囉～＊咁咪次次放上黎既相都化左妝囉。本來我覺得我無需要因為你１個無理既ｒｅｑｕｅｓｔ而ｐｏｓｔ相上黎，但我覺得，就算俾人睇左都冇咩所謂姐。ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｍｅ，ｓｏ　ｗｈａｔ？
我唔知道你會唔會無聊到去ａｋ果度開ｔｐ之後ｐｏｓｔ我呢張冇化妝既相上去，但ａｎｙｗａｙ，ｉｔ’ｓ　ａｌｌ　ｕｐ　２　ｕ！我放得上網就預左任何人可以轉載。



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２點去到紅碪同伊琳１齊睇人體奧妙展。嘩！！果度真係好多好真實既人體器官～好多我未見過既野。佢除左將人體各部份展出之外，仲將１ｄ有病變既器官ｄｉｓｐｌａｙ出黎～＊有ｃａｎｃｅｒ既器官係黑色嫁！！有１部份既展覽館仲有ｄｉｓｐｌａｙ　１　ｄ可供市民ｔｏｕｃｈ既ｒｅａｌ　ｏｒｇａｎｓ～有ｈｅａｒｔ，ｓｔｏｍａｃｈ，ｂｒａｉｎ，ｂｏｎｅｓ，ｌｉｖｅｒ．．．．摸完之後即刻去左洗手＞．．＜我地大概行左個幾鐘～嘩！！今日真係學識好多野ａｒ！

由於我未食ｌｕｎｃｈ既關係，所以「格硬」拉左ｅ琳陪我去食野～係ｍｃｄｏｎａｌ果度食左個餐～好熱氣ｌｅ！！

食完野之後，我地出左ｍｋ～我係先達ｍｅｅｔ　Ｗｉｌｓｏｎ，ｅ琳就番屋企。同Ｗｉｌｓｏｎ上左「失眠冰室」飲野～ａｎｄ影低ｂ相‥‥‥



去左百老匯睇「東陰公」～真係勁好睇！！好睇過Ｔｏｎｙ　ｊａ上次拍果套「拳霸」！！記憶中百老匯睇戲，好似要＄４５～但今日ｏｎｌｙ　＄４０。

睇完戲～去左兆萬影相。其實我個妝甩甩地，有少少唔係幾時影。但係‥‥‥冇所謂ｌａ～＊我諗部機都唔會連毛孔都影埋呱？！今次ｄ相有１張影得唔錯～我自己都幾ｌｉｋｅ～幾滿意！！



影完相，就去ｍｅｅｔ　Ｗｉｌｓｏｎ既細佬～本來打算去扒王之王果度食野，ｂｕｔ冇位～所以去左花園餐廳果度食。果度ｄ野超大碟．．．．好努力咁迫自己食都食唔晒。。‧‧

坐小巴去俊文苑搵Ｑｕｅｅｎｉｅ～哈哈！佢好好人ａｒ～咁夜都落街俾盒ｖｉｄｅｏ俾我！！我最愛的Ａｍｅｒｉｃａｎ　ｎｅｘｔ　ｔｏｐ　ｍｏｄｅｌ！！！～仲有Ｍａｇｇｉｅ係外國寫俾我既ｐｏｓｔ　ｃａｒｄ！！ｔｈｘ　ａ　ｌｏｔ！＊多謝ｍａｇｇｉｅ既關心！

之後就行番屋企～（本來想搭ｔａｘｉ，但又想ｓａｖｅ　ｍｏｎｅｙ而且又唔順路‥‥‥）著住ｈｉｇｈ　ｈｉｌｌｓ跑真係．．．．想死＞．＜

番到屋企第１件事就係落妝，之後同ｆｏｔｏｐ傾左星期日既ｓｈｏｏｔｉｎｇ既ｄｅｔａｉｌｓ～好ｗｏｒｒｙ天氣唔好＞．＜冇得影。。‧‧

之後就慢慢ｅｎｊｏｙ我既Ａｍｅｒｉｃａｎ　ｎｅｘｔ　ｔｏｐ　ｍｏｄｅｌ喇！！正！



>>August 14, 2005 at 12:56:02 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 11 日 星期四 【晴】

今日係好開心既一日。２點幾去到大窩口果度，係國端路公園果度等左好耐＞．＜勁俾蚊咬囉‥‥‥之後終於等到Ｗｉｌｓｏｎ。佢ｄｒｉｖｅ我去佢ｈｏｍｅ！！哈哈～１去到就見到Ｌｉｌｙ喇（佢隻愛犬）～哈哈～ｌｉｌｙ幾可愛～冇吠我添！！







我地睇鬼戲‥‥‥嚇到我。。‧‧哼！！下次我１定唔會睇！！本來諗住寫紀念冊嫁＞．＜但又冇咩心情寫啵。。‧‧唉！我成日都ｄｉｇ唔起心肝寫添～

Ｗｉｌｓｏｎ　ｄｒｉｖｅ我去觀塘簽約～＊今日帶左勁大袋衫去試造型！唉～我屋企真係唔夠衫，冇咩衫用得著。況且我成日都買死１種ｓｔｙｌｅ既３。我自己又勁ｌｉｋｅ黑白啵～搞到冇咩ｓｈａｒｐ　ｄ　既３．．．．唉．．．．冇錢冇得買！！我成日都冇心情行街，有心情的時候又冇錢，有錢有心情又冇人陪．．．．．無奈！

我同Ｗｉｌｓｏｎ都成日冇食過野～我地離開左觀塘之後去長沙環／深水ｐｏ果度打波。佢高到‥‥‥入樽好似冇難度咁ｌａｗ。。。‧‧我都勁耐冇打波ｌｕ＊自從雅雅走左之後，ｇｒａｃｅ又就黎ｌｅａｖｅ　ＨＫ～得番我１個係度．．．．．

１０點幾番到屋企～好累呢！！

１個星期既試用期～ａｌｌ　ｒｉｇｔｈ？

>>August 13, 2005 at 1:48:25 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 10 日 星期三 【晴】

My HKCEE results are

Chinese : A

English Syl B : C

Maths : B

Amaths : D

Phy : C

Chem : C

Bio : A

Econ : C

CIT : C

IH : C

Top 6 subjects marks : 23

A brand new start

唔好問我入唔入到原校。我係唔會答。

轉左ｗａｌｌｐａｐｅｒ～ｏｋａｙ嗎？！下個月將會用呢張做ｗａｌｌｐａｐｅｒ～！



>>August 10, 2005 at 10:56:54 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 9 日 星期二 【晴】

９點幾自動醒左～尋晚雖然好累，但係都係張床上面碌左半粒鐘都未訓到‥‥‥睇完個ｓｍｓ之後繼續訓，訓到１１點因為發惡夢所以紮醒左！！

個夢大概係講，我係觀塘果度，無喇喇俾一班既高ｆｏｒｍ既學生包抄我，之後想搶我ｄ錢同埋手提。我拚命咁跑，跑到１間酒樓‥‥‥之後唔記得左ｌｕ＊

Ｑｕｅｅｎｉｅ好好人咁幫我囉左ｄ升學資料～我去何文田廣場果度ｍｅｅｔ佢！！今日好冇心機，所以求其戴帽就出去～＊番屋企不斷咁睇ｄ升學既書．．．．











>>August 9, 2005 at 10:26:35 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 8 日 星期一 【晴】

朝早去左準備會考要用既野，去左影印身份證，成績表，證書‥‥‥之後又去左九龍中央圖書館還書，又去左ｂａｎｋ入ｃｈｅｑｕｅ。。‧‧

之後去ｔｓｔ買野，點知間舖頭未開＞．＜２點幾都仲未開，有病嫁！！

３點幾出發去淺水灣游水～４點幾５點去到。嘩～好晒丫！！初時同佢地未熟，所以有少少生外，但之後玩起上黎都唔理咁多～第１次著藍色果件ｂｉｋｉｎｉ，感覺上ｓａｖｅ過ｒｏｘｙ白色果件好多，我著住黎游水（唔係玩水，真係大動作咁游）都冇走位～游完之後真係好累ａｒ＞．＜整親左隻手，有幾處地方擦損左，少少痛咁ｌａｗ。

夜晚食糖水做ｄｉｎｎｅｒ＞．＜結果番到屋企之後我再食多餐～哈哈！



Just friends



我有另外既相係一個秘密日記果度。知道我果個日記既網址既人就去睇喇～＊我只要ａｌｌｏｗ左３個女仔ｆｄ睇～ｍａｇｇｉｅ，ｑｕｅｅｎｉｅ，同埋ｎａｎａ。本來想俾ｅ琳睇嫁～但佢好似冇用果個日記，所以．．．．＞．＜俾唔到佢睇。

>>August 9, 2005 at 10:29:26 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 7 日 星期日 【晴】

好心ｄ人唔好咁幼稚喇～＊扮攝影師ａｄｄ我ｉｃｑ。講唔夠２句就問我私人野．．．．

夜晚去左中環大會堂果度食野～ｄ野好麻麻＞．＜

正式公佈，我１８～２２號會唔係香港，同屋企人去新加坡旅行！





Hand made for Grace.

>>August 9, 2005 at 12:39:55 AM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 6 日 星期六 【晴】

大名： hihi
電郵： [email protected]
說： 無錯!gigi都係18歲出道
但人地同你既背景唔同
佢無好似你咁曾經影埋d咁既相
我想問.你想做model
係因為真係你既夢想
但係你想出位?
係一定係二你自己清楚啦
淨係你係AK以前既留言.性論
到你個D"相"..
呢D只係純粹個人意見..

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

係！！你講得真係好ａｒｍ～我依家真係恨錯難返‥‥‥我亦都明白我好有可能因為我之前所做過既事，令到我做ｍｏｄｅｌ既夢想破滅。我都想洗底，但呢件係冇可能既事‥‥‥點都好，未試過，未真正去到絕望，我係唔會放棄！！
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大名： Kiwi
電郵： [email protected]
說： 你好
我想搵你影相呀!
我added你icq架啦~
你add我丫~

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

我ａｄｄ左你喇～

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大名： 路人甲
電郵： [email protected]
說： 7 月25 日 0個張相好正 wor,d 光暗位又好特別,望落去....重令人流鼻血 ^_^

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

下？我自己望左幾望，都唔覺得有ｄ咩野特別啵＞．＜

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大名： maggie
電郵： [email protected]
說： cindy~
dunno what happened to u
but i am always right here with you
don't be sad

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

ｔｈｘ　ｍａｇｇｉｅ！我好快會無事～你都要ｂｅ　ｓｔｒｏｎｇ！

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大名： re hihi
電郵： [email protected]
說： d人仲作埋d咸濕古仔~~~為乜???話自己點扮都唔純~~係呀~~excectly~~!!!!!相由心生丫ma~!!!你睇下你做埋d咩~~~~又成日話自已隻腳靚~~~~~~!連photo album都叫佢做pretty leg~~~收收皮先la~!!高同瘦就可以做model咩~~~你高得唔好睇law我話你知~~身形又怪~~又冇氣質~呢d都唔緊要..最緊要係你個人囉~~~你以為自己索..有魅力!!做埋d淫野law~~!!!

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

我作果ｄ故事已經係好耐之前既事喇～點解１定要以１個人既過去而去判斷佢現在既性格呢？！
我真係覺得自己對腳靚，唔通對自己既身體有信心都唔得咩？我身形怪？邊ｐａｒｔ呢？我淨係覺得自己膊頭太橫唔好睇囉～其他缺點我暫時睇唔到，請指教！！
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大名： 888
電郵： [email protected]
說： 只要某間公司的人事部覺得我有條件做ｍｏｄｅｌ～我都依然可以做到。
有就一早搵你做啦～！

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

「有就一早搵你做喇！」呢句野我都有同自己講過～所以我有時都會灰心‥‥‥但我都未試過晒咁多間ａｇｅｎｃｙ，又點可以咁快灰心嫁呢？！
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大名： Ahman
電郵： [email protected]
說： just a passerby. but i do think those ppl r too cruel to u. u did nth harm to them. anyway, dun be upset. i am supporting u in somewhere.

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

謝謝你既支持！！我自問我冇做ｄ害人既事，我唔明白點解佢地要死都咬住我唔放‥‥‥我自己做既錯事，我自己會承擔。但我都影響唔到佢地，點解．．．點解唔放過我＞．＜

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大名： 細cIn*
電郵： [email protected]
說： 其實，冇男朋友，可能會係一件好事
因為有好多私人空間

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

嗯～＊咁又係ａｒ！同男性朋友出街又唔使擔心ｂｆ會誤會～＊玩得又ｆｒｅｅ～時間又多左，可以做私人野。以前往往要為左抽時間陪男朋友而令到自己冇時間做私人事，要拎訓覺既時間黎補貼＞．＜
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大名： giee~
電郵： [email protected]
說： 之前我都留過comment比你架﹐唔知你記唔記得﹐我間唔中都會睇你既日記﹐亦都有上ak。我靜係覺得你唔係果D人甘講甘衰﹐所以黎support下你﹐唔好為左D無謂人唔開心呀﹐因為有好多人都係明白事理既~ 如果你中意既話可以add我msn架﹐得閑咪頃下計囉~ ^__^ 我都幾欣賞你敢作敢為既作風~ 加油喇細路女~

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

謝謝你既支持！！我自問我以前真係好壞～甚至我依家都唔算係變得１００％好！但係起碼我敢講１句，我比以前改善左～＊只係ｄ人用以前既我黎ｃｏｍｍｅｎｔ現在的我‥‥‥
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大名： halo
電郵： [email protected]
說： i am the first time to leave u a message, just come to support u, i have read ur diary for so long, i discover that u have a gd manner, i trust that u are a gd girl,
just ignore that kind of naive ppls

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

你幾耐之前開始睇我日記嫁？點解你又會有條ｌｉｎｋ既？ａｎｙｗａｙ，我開放得我日記就預左網上有ｓｔｒａｎｇｅｒｓ睇～謝謝你既支持！
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大名： kai
電郵： [email protected]
說： d相o係你自己影gei*冇得話人lor*
>>2005年07月28日 22:57:08

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

我知道。我只係怪責點解自己咁蠢要ｓｅｎｄ俾人～我冇怪責過點解果ｄ人要出賣我！
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大名： dd
電郵： [email protected]
說： cindy"
你真係有影過呢d淫相嫁~??

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事情已經過去了～２年前既事，點解仲要去問？！

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大名： SDGF
電郵： [email protected]
說： 又話要做援交,又問體位,又影d咁既相!咪扮可憐..自己囉黎架

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呢ｄ已經之前既事～我話做援交純粹係講笑，唔信你可以去果個ｐｏｓｔ果度睇下，我係唔係真係有心識人．．．．

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大名： __________________漏水漏唔停__________________
電郵： [email protected]
說： 開埋d咁既post!!用漏水呢兩個字..影衰晒d女仔ah

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每個人都係獨立既個體，有腦既人係唔會因為１個女仔既言論而覺得全世界既女仔都係咁樣囉～
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大名： gigi
電郵： [email protected]
說： 你身材唔錯..
不過你著d3太娘啦..
你轉look我諗會好睇好多...
唔家唔再興緊身3ka la,,
咁樣你sell唔到身材..只會另人覺得你似香下人...
我只係比意見only,,,hope可以做到model!!
ak果件事係咪真ka?

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邊件３係緊身衫？我覺得依家都仲有好多人著緊身衫嫁啵～係ｆａｓｈｉｏｎ　ｓｈｏｗ上面，有ｍｏｄｅｌ著緊身衫亦都有著鬆身衫，只係唔同既味道姐～咁你覺得咩野ｌｏｏｋ會襯我？其實我唔想ｓｔｉｃｋ　ｔｏ任何１種ｌｏｏｋ～雖然我知道可以有某ｄ　ｌｉｉｋ特別襯我～有某ｄ　ｌｏｏｋ　我會著得唔好睇～＊但我咩野都想試下．．．
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大名： 細cIn*
電郵： [email protected]
說： 藍本即係咩呀?唔好咁易喊呀!!其實有好多人幫你架^^

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藍本姐係．．．ａｍ．．．我都唔識解釋＞．＜我知道依家仲有人肯支持我，但係．．．．佢地真係幫唔到我幾多．．．．
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大名： NuL
電郵： [email protected]
說： 你紮起個頭係好睇d...

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嗯！＊但係我覺得紮起晒就唔係太ｏｋａｙ～紮少少會好ｄ．．．．
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大名： 日新
電郵： [email protected]
說： 好耐之前睇過你既相..老實講個陣冇咩特別印象因為你唔係咁突出,依家見到你個diary,就手多多打幾隻字俾你,我明白做人有理想係好,而後生仔女都應該向住自己既目標行...但係我覺得其實咩都唔好咁麻木,定到咁死.做人應該認清自己既路向,唔好把理想同現實合得大埋,你呢個年紀,最好係讀好書,讀多d書俾多d時間自己,好似city cice咁,讀完個學位再諗自己做d咩吧.

想同你分享小小野,我記得細個個陣.即係十六七歲時咩都夠膽死,爆格老苙打架跟社團落d k仔咩都玩過..個陣自已因為呢d搵到唔少錢,追名牌日日豪食一日都洗千幾二蚊,d所謂朋友彈哂個黎,女就直頭要咩有咩幾靚都有,其實好多都係物質同外表上既好,但你要明白一個人既價值在於佢既內心,一個人開唔開心都唔係睇佢生活有幾豪條女有幾索,我講呢番野既原因係我覺得你對物質好重視,做人唔好咁呀,你開心既日日食魚旦河都開心.唔開心既日日食天九次都冇味,呢樣野係係羈留所困左好多個四十八個鐘個陣諗通既..haha,個陣我俾人即時通知踼出校又俾人告又即時俾女飛而佢又幫手指證埋你一份求甩身,加上好多你以為既好朋友又即時同你劃清界線,學校d人見我好似見仇人咁串得就串有d就借d依打埋你,后黎我仲俾人逼左去做倒垃圾..我成日同朋友講,d人動不動又話自殺..我咁都冇自殺佢地自殺咩者~你都係呀,我唔係話你會自殺,但我覺得你成日都好似好down咁,做人應該開朗d,唔好覺得自己好慘,起碼你慘唔過我個陣先啦,而有好多人佢地故事可能比我地慘多好多倍.加油,希望你忘記過去開開心心.而且要積極D,好似我呢D咁既人咁.都可以20歲入大學讀DEGREE啦.你有咩唔得者,有咩無可能先,但要有可能.就係先要自己俾信心自己,有咩都要
另外我明白你之前做左d白痴野搞到好大件事,對你都有大打擊

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你可以放心～我冇ｓｅｔ死自己１定只可以行１條路。我就係為左唔知揀邊條路而感到好ｃｏｎｆｕｓｅ．．．好迷茫．．．但我好明白，讀好ｄ書點都對自己有保障ｄ；亦都解釋左點解１直以來，我咁想做ｍｏｄｅｌ，但係我都冇放棄過讀書！！放心喇～呢樣我識得為自己打算ｇｅ！！
你話我成日都好似好ｄｏｗｎ咁～好多人覺得我咁樣既生活態度唔好，但係我鐘意繼續係咁樣。所以．．．由我喇～呢樣野冇人勸到我！

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近來冇咩野ｊｏｂ接，我既意志開始被磨滅。我已經冇再好似以前咁相信自己能夠做到ｍｏｄｅｌ‥‥‥係我本質未夠班，定係我際遇唔好？？好辛苦．．．．

Serious headache...



>>August 9, 2005 at 10:18:22 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 5 日 星期五 【晴】

好多謝ｅ琳今日陪我去觀塘ｃａｓｔｉｎｇ～始終１個女仔去果ｄ上樓既地方有危險，所以我都想搵個ｆｄ陪我。Ｃａｓｔｉｎｇ都算順利，但似乎我既身高成為左我既障礙＞．＜因為男主角矮得濟‥‥‥無奈＞．＜唔知見唔見得成嫁，對自己冇咩信心！因為對方好似嫌我太細個（ａｇｅ）。

Ｃａｓｔ左半粒鐘多ｄ～影左幾張相ｋｅｅｐ　ｒｅｃｏｒｄ。其實我有ｄ驚間公司係呃人既～ａｎｙｗａｙ，我會小心ｄ，唔會咁易信人！！

ｅ琳帶領我走出觀塘烏煙瘴氣既工業區，之後去左ａｐｍ行陣街。咁ａｒｍ睇ａｒｍ左件３，又唔算好貴，所以就買左ｌａ＊諗住襯ｅ琳送俾我果條裙。





買完野之後，再行左陣。ｅ琳好眼訓咁樣～所以都係送佢番屋企喇～順路買左頂Ｖｏｎ　Ｄｕｔｃｈ帽～哈哈！！用黎遮住我個死樣～咁樣出街就可以唔使化妝ｌａ～！







me without make up, terrbile?



我上左佢屋企囉放榜天書！！之後又睇下ｅ琳同埋Ｋａｓｈ好ｓｗｅｅｔ既相‥‥‥唉！我只有羨慕的份兒‥‥ｅ琳都明白到我依家既處景，佢都有心理準備我未必入得番原校‥‥

６點幾，我就離開佢屋企，去左ｌｉｂｒａｒｙ借書睇‥‥‥借左幾本愛情小說。無計喇，太空虛了，感情生活一片空白。我唔想求其搵個人陪我，我寧願自己１個。



用ｄａｄ由凌晨２點傾到３點９．．．．．我又再１次崩潰了。眼淚不斷咁流下，我令ｄａｄ再１次對我失望。因為我不懂得自愛，沒有人能夠幫到我。

>>August 6, 2005 at 8:53:16 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 4 日 星期四 【晴】

夜晚去左朗豪坊對面既Ｐｏｋｅｒ　ｃａｆｅ果度食野～哈哈！！Ｅｎｄｙ請我食野！！

食完野之後諗住請番Ｅｎｄｙ飲野～ｂｕｔ佢又爭住俾錢＞．＜









：：：私之生活照：：：







>>August 6, 2005 at 3:26:31 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 3 日 星期三 【晴】

ｌｕｎｃｈ　ｔｉｍｅ同大銘ａｎｄ佢班ｆｄ唱ｋ‥‥‥點知大銘唱唱下，佢媽咪打黎鬧佢，話佢唔番補習走左去唱ｋ。大銘唯有乖乖地補完習先黎。大銘ｌｅｆｔ　ｍｅ　ｂｅｈｉｎｄ囉＞．＜搞到我有少少唔知點～＊因為我話晒都係第１次見佢地．．．．

唱完ｋ之後去左搵ｓｔｅｖｅ。同佢１齊果種感覺好特別，我都唔識點形容‥‥‥我會有種心跳既感覺，我會變得怕醜。但我又唔係鐘意佢＞．＜如果我係以前既我，我會覺得佢好有安全感。佢表面的話好有安全感，但只要好深入咁睇的話，反而會覺得１ｄ安全感都冇。女人，到底聰明ｄ好定係蠢ｄ好呢？ａｎｙｗａｙ，我會好好汲取以往既教訓，唔可以咁易就中個頭埋去‥‥‥點都要睇清楚ｄ，到底呢個人係點樣！！

我同佢去左中環既和民食野～＊哈哈！！我食咩野都話肥．．．．＞．＜食完野之後，我地１齊搭ＭＴＲ既紅色線番屋企。我就係ｍｋ落車～佢就遲過我落。出左地鐵站之後，我１路行１路諗住佢同我講既野。真係好深奧‥‥太多人生道理了。我有時真係唔想長大，唔想諗ｄ咁哲理既問題。但唔想諗都係要諗．．．始終１日都要面對。假如１７歲既我可以比人早１步識得諗，識得為自己打算，咁將來無論我做咩野事都會比人快１步‥‥‥機會係自己爭取，假如你慢人１步，可以你已經冇左好多機會。諗諗下，差ｄ俾車撞ｑ死＞．＜



近來密集式的約會，並唔能夠安撫我不安既情緒。我故意令自己好忙，成日出街，等自己唔會困係屋企亂諗野。但１ｄ用都冇．．．我每１日都過得好辛苦．．．．我好怕好怕俾人知道事實既真相。就算整個世界既人唔愛我唔緊要，我唔想連我屋企人都睇唔起我。我好怕好怕有呢１日既出現‥‥‥我每日就活在惶恐之下．．．呢１個計數炸彈，我唔知道幾時先會爆！！每１日出街，我都好怕俾人認得出係我‥‥‥我就黎精神崩潰。

２點鐘睇左早前錄低左既Ａｍｅｒｉｃａｎ　ｎｅｘｔ　ｔｏｐ　ｍｏｄｅｌ之後就上床訓覺。我１ｄ都訓唔著，我淨係覺得全身都好痛好累，但係真係訓唔到。我決定俾機會自己喊，好讓我呢幾個禮拜既抑壓住既眼淚都１次過喊晒出黎，所有壓力都宣洩晒出黎‥‥‥原來，當我放鬆自己，容許自己喊，係可以好恐怖。我真係好想大聲咁ｓｃｒｅａｍ　ｏｕｔ，話俾人聽我好辛苦，話俾人聽我好需要人地關心，話俾人聽我已經頂唔順‥‥‥心痛既感覺由個心１路漫延到指尖。我每１根指尖都可以感受到痛，痛的感覺轉化成麻卑‥‥‥喊到真係抖唔到氣，成身係咁震。我喊的時候好鐘意自己ｔｕｍ番自己。用自己的手，扮成是人地既手，輕輕咁摸自己咁頭髮，叫自己安靜落黎。每一下我既手接觸到自己既身體，我既心就更加痛‥‥‥我訓又訓唔到，結果我坐左起身，喊到累，我就叫自己躺下。躺了下來，心痛的感覺卻又再次來襲。如此重覆了很多次，真的很多次‥‥我已累到不懂再哭了。







>>August 4, 2005 at 3:46:22 PM GMT+8