2005 年 2 月 11 日 星期五 【晴】

真係大檸樂喇
0係中央咁耐, 好似咩都冇溫過咁........


真係唔想自己跟住 mock 個 schedule 溫書呀
但我又控制唔到我自己 wor
驚死 mock 好低分所以勁 aim 住個 mock 黎溫 wor
咁樣溫法真係 waste time 同 efficiency 唔高架

今日0係到溫 Pure
發覺 AL Pure 真係好危險
溫溫0下 2D, 唔知點解覺得好難
搞到 switch 左去溫 Integration
但係溫溫0下又唔係好想溫
而家又0係到諗緊應該溫 intergration 好定係 2D 好
搞到成日好似咩都未溫過
真係無從入手, 搞到溫到好鬼悶
要溫完全唔識0既書最驚, 最唔識點樣開始溫
怪就怪平時唔夠努力

真係希望個 mock 快 D 完

Pure 0係呢 6 日內
要溫到
Matirx, System, M.I., Complex, Vector, 3D, Binomial, Polar, Transformation, Differentiaion, Polynomial
同埋 intergration / 2D 是但一個 topic

咁多, 都係溫唔晒架喇
睇黎要在刪咁 D topic 架喇

咁樣飛書法, 又點會好


真係唔得喇, 要努力 !!!!!!!!!

>>February 12, 2005 at 11:41:26 AM GMT+8

2005 年 2 月 11 日 星期五 【晴】

我諗0係呢一輪都係唔好打咁多野0係個日記到喇
廢事嚇親陷世界0既人 lar.....

Considerate

Forgiving

Calm


點解我咁食法都仲係唔會肥0既
唔通我 AL 後真係應該去0下 body check??????
會唔會 check 到有條虫其實己經0係我個肚到就黎二十年呢
條虫又會唔會己經勁大條呢, 諗起個 scene, 都幾嘔心架 wor......
有 physical 0既 check 又會唔會有 spiritual 0既 check 架
我諗 check 0下安全 D 咁
不過 AL 後我個人都應該實會開心左 ger
可能唔需要 check 呢 ~~~~

>>February 12, 2005 at 5:34:12 AM GMT+8

2005 年 2 月 10 日 星期四 【晴】

冇所謂係好定壞呢

冇所謂會令人比較心軟, 會較爲 forgiving

冇所謂會令人唔夠 considerate, 有時 standard 定得太低

我係咪一個好冇所謂既人呢
我諗好多時表面上會係
但係暗刻, 應該係一個好有所謂既人 ?????????

Sometimes I should not want things to be perfect
不過 my standard o既 perfect, 又唔等如人地o既 perfect 架 wor

different attitudes, different standards
有時會令個世界更美好
有時亦會令個世界更 troublesome
________________________________________________________________________

有時人做 D 野唔知爲咩，其實可能己經享受緊箇中0既成果

有時人做 D 野唔知幫到自己 D 咩，其實可能幫到人

有時人做 D 野0既成果可能自己睇唔到，但係可能人地睇到

有時人做 D 野要問回報0既話，有冇回報其實係好 depends 既

有時人做 D 野可以0既話唔需要問回報0既

有時人做 D 野如果但求心安理得，但做左之後未必有回報仲可能係得到傷害o既話，
咁就真係唔知做唔做好喇

有時做一 D 野去幫一個人，但係得唔到回報o既話，咁o個個人或者真係唔抵幫ger

undeservable

ignorable
___________________________________________________________________________________

people have two or more faces, sometimes may got more than 10 faces, and people admit that
原因係??????????????????
因爲我地會根據我地對別人o既印象而用唔同o既方法對待人
所以人係唔會公平地對待每一個人
反正點解又要公平呢??
人同其他每一個人都有佢 unique o既 relationship
我都唔例外，我對其他人都唔係公平o既，不過我會盡量唔會傷害到人
人地對我好我會盡量對番人好，不過做唔做到係另一回事
and u guys, 人地對你好我諗你地都應該盡量對番人好掛

ice cube

忽然之問, 唔知係我黑心定係多疑定係對自己冇信心
總覺得有人睇我o既日記o既時候會覺得我 懶係 多野諗／多野煩／唔開心／bilingual
至於真相係咩，以前我一定會想人地知道個真相，不過而家有時都係唔理lu~~
鍾意點諗就點諗 la，人地係要諗另外一樣野o既話，都無謂强求喇
反正而家 D teenagers 都好鍾意
judging without a reason / the intention to have a more clear view of the fact 架lar
pathetic?????this is the real world, dude ! 自己咪又係一擔擔
using our guts / feelings to judge, 其實冇咩問題 ger, 可能會另到個世界更 creative and artistic tim
只不過同一時間 misunderstandings o既機率會大大增加姐
不過我諗我仲會 try to make people believe in the truth 既, 不過會唔會 try my best 呢, 就唔知 lu~~~
hopefully I'll try my best lar
對 others' impression me, 真係冇咩信心

inconsistency

Sometimes I'm good at reminding people the dark side of the world

freak

又唔知o係到發咩花 din lu~~~
反正個心諗到咩就打咩，都冇咩真正 諗過／思考／消化 自己所打o既野
諗到咩就打咩o個總感覺有 D 爽, 有 D 悲, 有 D 正, 有 D 哀, 有 D X, 有 D X , 有 D X, 有 D X ,
有 D X, 有 D X , 有 D X, 有 D X , 有 D X, 有 D X , 有 D X, 有 D X ＜== 玩 gimmick 咩
簡直係百般滋味在心頭呀 <== obviously, 我已經到達 frantic o既地步
打日記打到走火入魔o既地步

P.S. 玩 mini game 玩到 global high 第 2, 勁呀
P.P.S. when am I gonna start studin'

>>February 11, 2005 at 3:22:17 PM GMT+8

2005 年 2 月 10 日 星期四 【晴】

are tears...............the catalyst of sadness??????

Hate myself for being cold
Hate myself for lacking the ability to make others happy
Hate myself for being useless
Hate myself for my laziness
Hate myself for not able / not willing / not doing whatever fucking to change myself
Hate myself for thinking too much
Hate myself for my stupidity
Hate myself for wasting time on thinking miracles to come true
Hate myself for my inconsistency
Hate myself for my brain and temper being dominated or controlled by something
Hate myself for being emotional unstable
Hate myself for not accepting the reality
Hate myself for being too naive / believe in something which is impossible
Hate myself for unable to find the thing missing in my life
Hate myself for not being considerate
Hate myself for being blind on something obvious
Hate myself for being stubborn
Hate myself for being 假
Hate myself for being told 假 without a reason which is damn great
Hate myself for being weak
Hate myself for being collapsed easily
Hate myself for treating people unfairly
Hate myself for being treated unfairly
Hate myself for always hurting others
Hate myself for the lots of mistakes I have made and the bad things I have done
Hate myself for blaming myself because of something which I have done nothing wrong
Hate myself for being a shitty idiot
Hate myself for insisting on something which is wrong
Hate myself for agree something which I disagree
Hate myself for not admiting I'm wrong / not admiting my faults
Hate myself for not being responsible for my own faults and blame on others
Hate myself for whatever bad things happened in my life


tired ! pls just give me a break

God pls give me an answer of what are the problems and
who got the problems ??????
everyone??????????????????????
or it's just me?????????????????????????

emotional

P.S. D 社工 / 心理學家 又話宣洩完脾氣會舒服 D ger
成個 entry 都係0係有 D 發脾氣既情況下打出黎既
不過我又唔係好覺舒服左 wor, 個問題唔解決又點會舒服左 ar

P.P.S 唔係 wor, 好似真係舒服 D D D D 架 wor..................

>>February 10, 2005 at 6:17:49 PM GMT+8

2005 年 2 月 9 日 星期三 【晴】

找到了一個藉口 for
一時一樣 / 唔堅持自己原則 / 自己打自己嘴巴 / 神又係你鬼又係你
盲從附和 / 羊羣心理 / 自相予盾 等等等等
就係我生於現代社會, 所以理應有現代社會市民0既 多變性格

>>February 10, 2005 at 1:11:07 PM GMT+8

2005 年 2 月 9 日 星期三 【晴】

finally I got the chance to use the bot~~~~~~

my brother these days keep on readin' 大唐雙龍傳 online
隻眼唔辛苦架咩.......................
一日睇幾粒鐘雙隻眼....好易盲架.................

一個 week 冇寫過 diary
又有好多野唔記得左 lu ~~~~~
______________________________________________________________________________

1/2 KTC last day

放學活動 :
(1) 捉衣因
好好玩呀, 我諗我十年冇玩過喇
好鍾意圍人呀, 我做捉人既時候根本就唔想捉人, 係叫人"荷"
同 manlok, 丸 最終令所有人荷晒
yeah ~~~~~

(2) 寫下你對其他人的印象的活動 <--- 個名好騎呢, 諗過點樣去簡化佢架, 不過諗唔到.....

One interesting phenomenon ( I believed phenomenon is a wrong word, it's totally chinglish......)

For the people who I wrote down: "I dunno what u're thinking deep in your heart" or something similar
they wrote a similar impression on me ..........

唉呀
原來我仲係會俾人一個內向, 唔出聲, 唔同人講 true feeling, 有距離
唔知我諗咩同唔識 approach 人既印象......

不明白我的在想甚麼…
可能是我不是一個太主動去講自己東西的人， ( 但又有幾多人係會主動講自己的東西呢 )
我喜歡了解別人，多於去表達自己…
要知道我的內心是甚麼…
就要非常主動跟直接的和我傾談…
才能了解我更多… ( editing someone's diary, lazy......呵呵)

本來以爲只有我才會俾人一個唔知我諗咩既印象
不過原來又唔係淨係我一個
咁即係唔係淨係我一個人既問題
係大家既問題喇 ...... 呵呵 ( 唔清楚一個人諗咩算唔算係一個 " 問題 " 呢 )

不過我既問題應該係嚴重 D ger
有時都發覺0係某 D 情況下我係一個幾難講野0既人
同似乎係好識 end conversation 既人.............

有唔少人話我
表達力好, 溝通力强, 隨和, 友善, 平易近人 等等等
都幾大 contrast 架 wor

仲有唔少人話我
有 " 味力 ", 受人歡迎得人鍾意, 有氣質.............呵呵, 多謝多謝
不過其實我又唔係好覺 wor, anyway, 多謝你地咁讚我 wor, 嘻


有一個人真係能夠一矢中的 (唔知個成語又用得 ARM 唔 ARM 呢)
講中我個心 ALWAYS 諗緊既野


(3) 7M2 打邊爐

飽, 辣

love the part which people talk about what to do after AL
know the others a bit better, 有 D 人真係估佢唔倒
why many of you will go body check 架 ????????????
I think I'll have one also cause I burp unlimitedly / burp to infinity

7M2 is quite a great class

KTC leaves me many happy and memorable moments
We all needa work hard for the AL ar !

______________________________________________________________________________

3/2 Eng Exam

Section B not good I think, but really dunno what the marker thinks
Section C if everyone said they've fried, then I think I'm not bad gua
Section E not good, I really dunno how to make the passage organised....
______________________________________________________________________________

4/2 CLC Exam

(一甲) not good i think, but dunno what the marker thinks, 九死一生 lar
(一乙) not good
(二) 一如以往, bad, 我諗我係寫得最少字既 5 % 既人既其中一人

bowling at night with Chris, Tiff, Kat and Angel
I suck, waste my money
Nearly half of my balls 落坑 !!!!!
Wanna have another game of bowling asap
_______________________________________________________________________________

5/2 The incredibles

may be i have too much expectation, so not as good as expected
but it's still a supreme film
( it's already a supreme film, but still not up to my expectatin........
what am I thinking????????? may be there is something missin' in the film
just like there is something missing in my life........haha )
_________________________________________________________________________________

6/2, 7/2
watched and supported KTC in the girls handball competition
and study in City Express

手球真係幾好睇架
_______________________________________________________________________________

8/2

a day with Jason, some happy moments
the dinner is so expensive……….
Hope I'll have more 利是 to compensate the lost lar, haha
_________________________________________________________________________________

9/2

badminton with Water and Dawn
three people play for two hours………..exhausted
again, some happy moments
my badminton skills seems to be better, great

then went to 石磨坊 to have some great desserts
_______________________________________________________________________________

10/2

play pictionary, 玩極都唔厭

then went to McDonald
遇上人生難得一見既案件, 有人明目張膽犯案?????
好似0係到扮警察咁, 好刺激呀
just hard to explain, a very long story

many people come to my home 拜年

at night, play mahjong with my brother, Dad and my aunt
chi sin, 4 圈 mahjong 輸我 $ 300
食得3鋪胡, 淨係識得出 "蔥", 我諗人地食胡8成都係我俾錢
一係就冇胡叫, 一有胡叫就即刻出 "蔥"………………….
利是錢又少咁一 D lu……………………………….
_______________________________________________________________________________

某程度上我會係一個悶蛋
( I think some people will disagree, but in the other side, some people will agree, believe me )
好唔識去 approach 身邊既人係一個大問題, 如果咁係冷淡既話, I dun mean to
有野講既時候我就會同人講
冇野講既時候…………..真係唔係好識無端端同人傾計 (怕醜????)
同樣地, 我真係唔覺自己有對 D 唔太熟既人主動 approach
會既話, 我諗都好過冇, 不過而家我似乎真係冇
我諗好多人都會覺得同我有 D 距離
不過, 我覺得呢 D 距離應該都存在於其他人的 friendship 上 ( 我諗唔會淨係同我先至有距離掛)
要 break through the walls, 就係要咩都開門見山講, 仲要係唔好太多人同埋0係一個 peacecful 既environment 講效果先會顯著 D
唔好咩都屈0係個心到, 不過又有幾多人做到呢
人有時始終要wear mask, 呢個 mask 係必須既, 同埋個 mask 會 give you joy
wear 得多亦冇壞
不過 mask wear 得多, 有些moment, 真係要識得除低個 mask
某程度上我會係一個不折不扣的悶蛋 ( 我成日放低個 mask ??????? )
我而家有咁多 friends, 真係要慶幸佢地無私既忍耐………..thx
(從以上文字可以睇得出 D 咩呢????
就係我懶到死, 冇耐性去試個 wear mask 個 wear 中文點打……)


I always feel that there's something missing in our friendship
It's good now, but not enough ( I want perfect?????)
I am the kind of extremely sensitive type, sensing changes too easily
(copy and edit from someone's diary…haha)

______________________________________________________________________________

表姑姐又黎左, 又有好多好野食
屋企而家有芋絲餅, 紅豆糕, 蘿蔔糕, 年糕
全部都好好食呀
遲 D 仲會有馬蹄糕
每一晚 D 餸都好好味
我又食極都唔肥 (呢樣野究竟係好定唔好呢)

好想坐定定咁捕住 D 水仙0係陽光下開花的一刻
不過我一定冇咁既耐性既喇

D 蘭花好靚, 0係屋企好 hae (注意 : 有少少押韻)

Just figured out that I dun have much time to study for my mock
Should I following the schedule of the mock
Or follow my own schedule for the AL ????????

Play mini game for a while and start studying or writing 紀念紙
唔可以再 hae 架喇

>>February 10, 2005 at 7:58:04 AM GMT+8

2005 年 2 月 9 日 星期三 【晴】

my brother is just keep on using the bot
I'm not dumping this diary gar

actually I've written part of my latest entry a few days ago
but just do not have the chance to use the computer afterwards............

and duuno why, wanna write down lots of things
which makes the entry so long............

>>February 9, 2005 at 5:06:00 PM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 30 日 星期日 【晴】

aiya...........................sorry for not concerning ya feelings lar
i thought I'm a person who can stand on the other's view to look at different things
and so to prevent hurting them

and now surely, I'm not
really sorry
sorry for myself being cruel and stupid
_______________________________________________________________________

things happened on Friday, try my best to stop thinking of it
much better when I've expressed my feelings
now I'm OK
but dunno why, just think if I'm suddenly hurt by others
or when I suddenly start thinkin of these stupid things
my emotion will collapse ( collapse doesn't seem to be a good adjective )

_________________________________________________________________________

CLC 2004 listening , got a F
not able to get a satisfactory mark in CLC Oral either
my AL CLC really dangerous ar....

dun think I'm able to finish studying CLC and Eng for the mock exam
whatever, I don't care much of my mock result
__________________________________________________________________________

昨日在大嶼山坐的士, 在一條迂迴曲折的半山車路上
的士在極厚的霧中穿梭, 能見到只得 6-8 米
司機要定時 " 0本0本 " 以防發生意外
路的兩邊都是花草樹木
那個 scene, 很美
有點像世外桃源

若兩邊都是屋或平房的時候
就又點像鬼城
可恨的是我沒有相機, 把這奇景拍下來
_____________________________________________________________________________

just watched closer with my Dad
a great film
i think it should be considered as 經典

將現代西方社會的 love and sex issues 真實的描寫出來
不過唔知導演唔知有冇跨張到呢, 定係呢個世代西方人真係有 D 咁既愛情/愛慾 觀 呢
可能我仲係體驗緊純真既學校生活
有陣時覺得佢地既言行好難發生0係我身上
不過遲 D, 可能我都會係咁

一個人係咪真係可以同時間好鐘意兩個人
是但一個走左都會好唔捨得?

一個訃聞作家同個女人散左, 會勁喊勁傷心, 寧願冇晒自尊都想問個情敵攞番個女人
但轉個頭又去揾番個都係好鍾意既前女友
咁佢係專一定濫愛, 長情定善忘呢

一個男人被人搶左個老婆, 佢用盡所有辦法搶番個老婆番黎
佢咁做可能出於深愛佢老婆, 但更大可能係唔輸得, 係爲了自己既自尊
因爲唔輪得所以盡力去錫一個人, 愛一個人, 咁樣既愛係唔係崎型呢?

一個女仔用假名既時候有一段美好既愛情, 佢愛佢男友愛到死
之後那男友心入面有令一個更鐘意既人, 個女仔就離開
用番個真名去享受同其他人可能係有性冇愛既樂趣
當那男友又揾番女仔, 佢又即刻重投男友懷抱, 繼續用假名,
忍瞞所有同其他人做愛好享受既經歷, 延續呢段看似美好既愛情
點知佢男友迫個女仔講真話, 講話自己同其他人有過好享受既性交
個女仔一講左出口, 就發現自己唔再鐘意佢
因爲佢覺得呢段愛性己經有左佢自己忍受唔到既瑕疵

一個真實但荒唐既世界
一個虛假但美好既世界
邊個好 D?
同 Big fish 有 D 相似呢

愛死這套戲

我唔覺得 Clive Owen 同 Natalie Portman
deserve Golden Globe best supporting actor and actress wor

Natalie Portman 係真係唔錯既
Clive Owen, 真係好似冇咩特別咁 wor
Jude Law 就都唔錯
Julia Roberts, 好似冇咩發揮

發現有時要改自己個 character, 真係好難
因爲真係 out of control 架 wor

Jude Law 明明己經有左 Natalie Portman
但係一見到 Julia Roberts 卻依然會一見鍾情
我諗佢都唔想 ger, 佢都係 out of control 姐...................

>>January 31, 2005 at 2:57:14 PM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 27 日 星期四 【晴】

methods which can temporarily cure depression : entertainment and sleep
the only thing that can cure depression :
time or
you have find a solution to the things you are depressed at

everything is in a cycle
when something goes better
others become worse

100 000 thx for gor gor's IT tee
我諗我會0係夏天黎臨之前勁著

thx for Jason's candies also
有糖食個口冇咁淡

愈來愈覺得自己暗刻係一個怪人

>>January 28, 2005 at 11:50:38 AM GMT+8

2005 年 1 月 23 日 星期日 【晴】

今日變左騎呢仔
冇晒斯文整潔形象 lu ~~~~~haha

不過如果我唔騎呢
就會冇咩野講

所以都係騎呢 D lar
我諗咁樣會令到我個人冇咁 cool ger ~~~~~~

>>January 24, 2005 at 1:10:31 PM GMT+8