2004 年 7 月 18 日 星期日 【晴】

勁! 放學後傾左一粒鍾電話, 吃埋今日下午個飯盒, 就死左兩粒幾鍾係地上.

唔...處理緊一些問題呀, 累得不得了, 今晚沒力量去溫習明天的補考...


神, 對您有信心. 您今次咁 serious, 我都'投行'了!

>>July 19, 2004 at 11:26:14 AM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 17 日 星期六 【晴】

星期五 MIDNIGHT 做了個惡夢後, 即日都狂祈禱, 為了得釋放去祈禱啦, 接受啦, 原諒啦...

我估唔到星期六 MIDNIGHT 都再一次做了惡夢!!! 為何...?!

昨晚太累了, 我沒再祈曬咁多個禱, 只知到"平安睡覺"是我所需要的. 我相信神會聽我講野!

今日起來是精神的, 沒惡夢~

頭先睇到 Matthew 21:22, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you asked for in prayer." 可能前兩日所做的, 是為了要祈禱先祈禱, pray for the sake of praying, 反而昨晚我真的放了信心比神! 相信衪! 祈禱啦祈禱啦, 到底有多少次是為了要祈禱便祈禱呢? 有多少次我是真心相信神會聽, 會回應我的祈禱呢?

>>July 18, 2004 at 10:06:32 PM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 17 日 星期六 【晴】

超勁唔開心~ 攪亂左人地的時間!

>>July 18, 2004 at 2:26:57 PM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 17 日 星期六 【晴】

爸爸打左個電話比我, 同平時一樣同我講音樂上的東西. 後來問我有咩需要, 佢有學生月底過澳洲, 可以幫我帶野. 爸爸又問屋企的電器有冇壞, 佢8月可以過黎幫我修理.

想了一會兒...回答他: "冇呀, 冇咩需要." 講完真係感謝神的供應!

>>July 18, 2004 at 9:31:37 AM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 17 日 星期六 【晴】

當一個人病了，可能會有一堆藥物要吃，維他命，抗生素，退燒藥，等等．頭戈一次兩次都可以，再吃多幾次，有些唔想吃的感覺了～　嗚嗚

昨晚回到家中，床上就有一堆’藥’等緊我：

”在基督裡我是誰的禱告”
”饒恕的禱告”
”自由的禱告”
”仲有幾個比特別需要的禱告”

一次過祈曬都真係唔知想點．．．

最後我只做了一個”平安睡前的禱告”！　

Lord ready promised me..."You can lie down without fear and enjoy plesant dreams. Need not to be afraid, for I am your security!"

I sleep better last night :)

>>July 18, 2004 at 3:39:59 AM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 17 日 星期六 【晴】

十二點喇～　兩個同屋都唔起身＞．＜！！！我好想拉中提琴呀！

>>July 18, 2004 at 2:01:17 AM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 16 日 星期五 【晴】

I have finally return all the money to my housemate for the bills, paid all the fees and the money owned.

By this afternoon, I've $30 left. At first I hesitated how much I will give for TITHE. A sister asked me a question, when we are fine, we can give, we can pay, we can even treat our friends for meals, pay all the tithe and even extra ones, but what about when we are somewhat in debt?

I pay my ordinary amount of TITHE at last! Thanks God for this courage, I have to trust him! I know when I walk in his will, he will bless me, for what I am doing is right. I know it's difficult to survive with that $10 during the following weeks, but there are many circumstances, that God has proven, he will PROVIVE! He supplied me with free dinner, even extra more than that... the love of brothers and sisters and the warmth welcome of their families! Why I would still KEEP that money with me?

While reading Matthew this evening, it says, Jesus asked his disciples to go and spread the kingdom of God, but Jesus asked them not to bring any money, not even to bring one extra pair of shoes, for workers will be paid for their works! God will supply their needs - shelter, clothing, finance...

Lord, it's you that asked me to surrender, in any any situation! It's you too, giving me the strength to follow you!

I love you Lord!

>>July 18, 2004 at 12:09:23 AM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 16 日 星期五 【晴】

今個星期連續兩日都作了惡夢, 第一個係我被強姦, 仲唔係人, 係一隻 creature! 第二個是爺爺有 love affairs! 兩個個感受都好深, 我估係由星期三講道時使我記起很多的過錯, 有些難過, 有些感到自己 dirty 開始. 星期三晚顛左...星期四五, 撒旦就玩野...

神都安慰返我. 同我講 He is my security!

是因為一些空隙, 撒旦打擊到我. 不過我唔需要害怕 (唔=我唔害怕!), 因神與我在一起!

Pray for me, as I am feeling bad on myself! I know it was something that happened 4 years ago, and I am cleansed with the blood of Jesus, I am so PURE now!!! Yet knowledge is knowledge, feeling is feeling.

Lord, help me to be strong in you! Believe in you and stay well with you, walk with you! Next week, the talk for Wed would be something similar as to immoral stuff, I am afraid of the talk, which may again bring out many many sad moments of my past! Thanks that you havn't given me a spirit to fear!

Thanks heaps for Linda, as you are leting her to help me once again. Pls give me wisdom on talking with her and accepting her help, as I never never want to recall any of the feeling, of the scenes that made me feel bad. But, I may need to, in order to due with the problem!

Lord, you know what is good for me, you know what I need, for I maybe silly hiding my problem, but you bless the problem! I have my own way of solving it - leaving Macau, get rid of 'dating', hide this and that... Moreover, you let it happened anyway, and you know what's best for me, guide me if I am walking in contradiction to your will!

>>July 18, 2004 at 12:08:03 AM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 15 日 星期四 【晴】

一個惡夢, 昨晚作了一個好惡的惡夢!

如果唔係電話響了, 我應該一直不清醒下去, 不知到了哪裡去, 不知為什麼了. 眼淚不停的落下...

由星期三晚上開始, 我就不好受吧. 悲痛的回憶出現一次兩次, 唔係, 一直都出現, 冇停過!

個夢之所以好惡, 是因為裡面有感覺, 好深的感覺...驚啦, 唔開心啦...好真實的一個惡夢!

不過, 撒旦, 多謝你呀! 要是你不這樣一次又一次的給我打擊, 我才不知到原來自己一天一天的成長, 一天又一天的屬靈吧! 如果我係 defeat 左係你手上, 你都唔使一而再, 再而三咁打擊我啦!

>>July 18, 2004 at 12:06:04 AM GMT+8

2004 年 7 月 14 日 星期三 【晴】

無聊左幾小時了!

自己都幾勁, 係姊妹屋企睡到正午十二時! 返左屋企洗左個頭唔可以睡, 但又唔想去睇書, 有些累吧, 也想比小小時間 flexible 一下, 咩都唔做住!

Promise ~ 這個現況唔會 extend 過晚餐時候!

個假期好快就完結了, 最後一堂樂理冇上, FLASH 課程未完成, 書開始了一本, 也睇完了先前的一本, 作主一課程星期六開...

有咩未做?

>>July 18, 2004 at 12:05:36 AM GMT+8