2008 年 5 月 28 日 星期三 【晴】

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When you feel great about how you look and how you are groomed, you'll feel much more appealing - and you'll become more competent in so many areas.

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focusing on YOURSELF, and
focusing on being IN CONTROL OF YOURSELF and of
what happens TO YOU.

never asking for permission, and never seeking approval. It means that you make choices for yourself,
and you consult with YOURSELF before asking anybody else's opinion.

"What you think is important to me ... but I trust my own opinion over and above anyone else's, including yours."It's empowered, it's mature, it's independent, and it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that she
doesn't 'need' him for anything ... and that she runs her own life.

When you begin to incorporate this attitude
into your life, you will notice that 3 major
things will occur as a result:

1. Your self-confidence will rise by LEAPS AND
BOUNDS. There is nothing - NOTHING - quite so
empowering as the ability to live by your OWN
rules and opinions. When what you say truly goes
as far as you and your life are concerned, you
have the ultimate power.

2. Your life will quickly, and more easily than
you would ever have thought possible, begin to
shape itself to reflect who YOU are and what YOU
want. Essentially, the universe will support your
decision to be true to yourself by supporting the
choices that you make.

3. You will attract the kinds of people to you
who actually value self-confidence and self-esteem
in their companions ... and these are the kinds of
people who make healthy relationships EASY and
NATURAL.

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Keep visualizing, "feeling" that loving situation with a man
who can't help but love you. THAT MAN WILL EVENUTALLY SHOW UP.
Again, whether he is the man you're dating now remains to be seen.

Please write down the emotions you'd feel if you were in
this new situation. Imagine the arms of a man (a generic
man, not your current man) you love around your waist.
"Feel" yourself dancing with him.

I'm going to ask you to bring this scene to life
in your imagination before you get out of bed in the
morning and after you put your head on the pillow at
night. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

You do have a job you love, so I strongly suggest that you
direct your attention there, to the job itself and to the
people you've met through it.

Make a promotion your goal. Work a couple of extra hours when
you can. Go out with your work friends for dinner or drinks.
Make yourself more available for your job and LESS available
your boyfriend.

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- when woman fall in love with men, she will has higher expectations towards him, want more from a man, the tone of relationship will change.

- woman will start loosing confidence, which the man love most

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- never start a serious talk with men

- be hard to get

- give men Sudden, Unexpected Rejection

- if u start a serious talk n the man back off, Never Ask Where Things Stand

- don't give bad temper, act softly and act like u has been hurt by him

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an affirmation?

"I am happily married to a loyal, loving, reliable, successful man"), and in working on liking myself and taking
care of myself.

You don't want to cause a man to see you as desperate and
willing to do anything just to keep him around. Men respect a woman who takes care of herself - in every way.

hm......

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Get this: did you know that, as a nation, our
collective income has more than DOUBLED in the
last 2 generations? And yet studies show that we
are NO HAPPIER now than we were back then. (In
fact, once your income rises above $12,000 per
annum, it seems that extra money makes almost NO
impact at all on your happiness levels. Believe
it!)

So there's really no point in attempting to
control the types of men that you date, in an
effort to have more fun ... or even to control the
type of relationship that you might one day have.
The truth is that, right now, you don't actually
know what will make you happy. You just THINK you
do. (More on this later!)

Here's the thing: part of being truly
irresistible is about opening yourself up to new
possibilities, and trusting your gut instinct.

For example, let's say you always pictured
yourself ending up with a snazzy, suit-wearing,
dynamic, briefcase-carrying, run-the-company-type
executive man. And then one day, you're waiting in
line for your mocha latte, and a dreadlocked
bongo-drum-carrying surfer-type guy starts
flirting with you.

... If you're courageous enough to flirt back,
and try going out with him anyway, JUST FOR FUN ...

... despite the fact that he's 'not your type' ...

... then you are to be congratulated! You're
experiencing dating as it's MEANT to be:
light-hearted, fun-loving, and available to new
experiences and possibilities.

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the Abundance Exercise.

First, describe to yourself, IN DETAIL, what
your ideal man would be like. Be as specific as
you can possibly be. If the universe was about to
grant you your most outrageous wish in terms of
The Perfect Lover, what would YOURS be like?

How does he look, sound, smell, and feel? What
does his voice sound like? What does his smile
look like? How does he move? What's his personal
style like? How does he spend his spare time?

Now, close your eyes and imagine the two of you
together. Imagine that you're holding hands and
looking into each other's eyes, as if you're
already in love.

What are the thoughts that are going through
your head in this situation? How do you feel about
him? How does he feel about YOU?

Now hold this image in your mind, and with it,
the emotions that you're experiencing.

Allow yourself to feel gratitude that this man
is in your life. (Remember, the premise of this
exercise is to act and feel as if this man is
ALREADY your lover.)

The next time you go out, I want you to keep
this picture in your head. Keep your eyes peeled
for this specific man. HE WILL BE OUT THERE.

This is an exercise based on the teachings of
Dr Benzer ("The Tao of Dating", p41). It's
designed to increase your wealth-consciousness -
that is, your recognizance that the world is FULL
of men who are PERFECT for you.

It's not about there being just ONE MAN who's
right for you. The world - your country, your
state, your TOWN - is absolutely TEEMING with
them.

The exercise above is designed to create a
mental shift in your attitude towards dating. It
teaches you two very important things:

1. You know exactly who you're looking for. You
even know how you'll recognize him when you find
him, because you already know AHEAD OF TIME how
he'll make you FEEL when you're together.

2. It teaches you what Dr Benzer calls
'abundance mentality' - which is the fact that
EVERY TIME YOU GO OUT, there are attractive men
available SPECIFICALLY for YOU to meet.

A quick note about abundance mentality - it's
not about being arrogant or demanding.

Note that it's not about EXPECTING to meet Mr
Perfect ... it's about seeing the abundance that
already exists.

It's about shifting your own expectations and
mindset, so that the 'blinkers' that are
constraining you in favor of your 'perfect man'
checklist are finally removed.

When you make this mental shift, you'll find
that you are SIGNIFICANTLY more receptive to
finding, meeting, and attracting eligible men -
men who make you feel the way you did in your
Abundance Exercise.

I want you to remember that disappointment is a
pretty natural reaction to have, when you don't
get what you want out of dating.

But YOUR ATTITUDE is what determines how you
feel about dating. If you remember to:

- Be realistic in your attitudes - Understand
that a date is JUST a date, nothing more

- Articulate to yourself EXACTLY what you're
looking for

- Create a mental image of what he's like and
how he makes you feel

- Consciously seek out the abundance that
already exists

... then your experiences with men, dating, and
relationships will be rewarding in the extreme.
You'll enjoy yourself much more. You'll be calmer
and more relaxed. You'll attract a wide variety of
men to you, and ENJOY dating them. You won't
cripple what happens with the pressure of
unrealistic expectations.

I think you'll find that, when you're capable
of just sitting back and allowing life to unfold
around you ...

... you'll experience rewards that you never
would have thought possible.

Be patient, be realistic, and keep your head up
high!

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Femininity: it's all about being SENSUAL. When
you're 'in your feminine energy', you're playful,
open-minded, nurturing, and emotionally
expressive. You're empathetic and caring. You're
gentle and spiritual.

Masculinity: it's all about being PURPOSEFUL.
When you're in your masculine energy, you're
direct, goal-oriented, competitive, independent,
and assertive

Here are some suggestions for reawakening the
super-feminine woman inside of you:

- Read 'Women Who Run With the Wolves', by
Clarissa Pinkola Estes. It's all about getting in
touch with your 'goddess energy' - and although
this might SOUND a bit cheesy, it's actually a
really useful read. And enjoyable to boot. Give it
a shot.

- Remember how to be playful? It's one of the
most rewarding aspects of femininity. Engage in a
bit of wordplay with your man. Tease him gently.
Have a laugh.

- Reacquaint yourself with the power of TOUCH.
Touching someone - either casually in
conversation, or lovingly with your partner - is
something that's DEEPLY feminine. For people you
work with, or casual friends, a soft touch on the
forearm or shoulder to emphasize a point is
plenty: it's harmless, friendly, and heartwarming.
For people you're close with (or want to get
closer to), start hugging more. Rub their
shoulders if they seem stressed. Give friends a
kiss on the cheek to say goodbye. Remember, it's
not about being SEXUAL (unless you want to be).
It's about being FEMININE. The two are not
necessarily the same thing.

- Make it a real priority to reconnect with
your truly feminine self at the end of the
work-day. Take off that power-suit, kick off those
boots, and slip into something more comfortable.
Run a relaxing bubble-bath, and indulge in a glass
of wine. Savor the taste of a square or two of
rich dark chocolate.

- Relax and be playful! If you're stuck in
traffic, don't scowl and beat the steering-wheel -
turn up the stereo and shake your booty! (As Marie
Forleo calls it, 'car-dance' your worries away!)

- Learn to love being a woman! Don't let your
professional requirements dictate who you are in
your personal time. Explore and express all
aspects of your personality to the fullest.
Remember that it's OK to let different parts of
the day bring out different parts of your
personality: you don't have to retain the same
fixed femininity-blueprint 24/7. Go with the flow
and adapt as you see fit!

- Learn to relax. Meditation and yoga are
EXCELLENT ways for realigning yourself with who
you truly are. Just 5 to 15 minutes a day is
enough ... although really, these disciplines are
all about what suits YOU. You'll let go of the
worries of the world for a time, and learn to
focus on just living your life.

Being a WOMAN isn't the same thing as being
weak. Femininity is all about being true to
yourself, and authentically strong IN YOUR OWN
WAY.

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the five secrets
to becoming one of these women yourself ... and
enjoying the rewards!

Secret #1: These women are motivated by
SELF-RESPECT.

They know they deserve a happy, loving,
fulfilling relationship ... and they're not going to
settle for anything less.

A woman who's extremely attractive to men isn't
motivated to create a relationship because she's
AFRAID OF BEING ALONE.

She's not driven by a fear of 'growing old by
herself', or of not being loved.

Instead, she's motivated to create a loving,
fulfilling relationship because she knows that she
deserves to be loved for who she really is. It's
her right as a woman ... and she knows it.

Let me clarify what I'm talking about here.
Getting into a relationship for the right reasons
isn't about 'catching' somebody because you feel
this overwhelming urge to GET MARRIED.

It's not about trying to be what you think a
man wants so that he'll 'reward' you by giving you
a ring or making a commitment to you.

And it's not about getting into a relationship
with just ANY old guy who comes along and asks you
to...

... because you know that you deserve the RIGHT
man, not just the first one who happens along.

The woman who successfully employs Secret #1
will not 'settle' for anything less than a man who
will love her just as she is, for her real,
authentic self.

She's not afraid to hold out for the best ... and
she doesn't take any B.S.

This lack of fear, and conviction of her own
self-worth, ensures that the men she involves
herself with are the kind of men who respect women
who respect themselves ... and will treat her the
way she expects to be treated.

Secret #2: These women AREN'T MANIPULATORS.

Have you ever felt like you should try to act a
certain way in order to fan the flames of
somebody's interest for you?

How many times have you been told to 'play hard
to get'?

Have you ever read an article in a women's
magazine that tells you not to make the first move
because men like 'the thrill of the chase'?

Have you ever heard somebody say that you
shouldn't sleep with a man before you've been out
on a certain number of dates ... or that you should
'let him take the lead' ... or that he should always
pay for meals ... or that if he doesn't buy you
jewelry or 'romantic presents' of flowers and
candy, you should break up with him?

(Yes, this advice really DOES exist!)

Game-playing is for children, not mature, smart
women.

And the women who play games, unfortunately,
will attract the kind of men who need the
stimulation of 'the chase' in order to feel
attraction.

When that chase ends, and the woman in question
finally reveals her real self, he'll feel like
he's 'gotten' her.

The elation and pride will be momentary. The
thrill will wear off. And then he'll move on to
somebody else.

The smart, extremely attractive woman knows
that manipulation and game-playing are more
trouble than they're worth. She knows there's a
balance between being 'too easy' and 'playing
games' ... and while she knows better than to give
herself away too easily to a man, she never tries
to manipulate him with games or half-truths.

Secret #3: The Extremely Attractive Woman Has
Her Own Life (& Likes It)

An extremely attractive woman doesn't wait at
home and hope for a man to call and ask her out.

She doesn't sweep her schedule clear of other
dates and engagements just because he's invited
her out.

She has her priorities straight, and has a busy
life of her own, with a career, friends, hobbies,
pets, evening classes, an exercise regimen,
favorite TV shows ...

An attractive woman will make room in her life
for the right man - but she won't go overboard.

She won't hang around by the phone hoping he's
going to call.

She won't cancel dates with her friends because
he's asked her out to dinner.

And neither will she go too far in the OPPOSITE
direction and act 'unavailable' in an attempt to
be seen as exciting, mysterious, and unattainable
(for more on this mistake, please see Habit #2 -
No Manipulation!)

Secret #4: The Extremely Attractive Woman
Doesn't Stick Rigidly To A 'Perfect Man' Checklist

An extremely attractive woman is realistic. She
knows that the fairytales of her childhood, where
a beautiful princess is swept off her feet by the
handsome (and wealthy) prince are just that -
FAIRYTALES.

She's not limiting herself to men who are a
'good catch' on paper. She doesn't evaluate men by
the size of their wallets, their career, their
reputation, or what kind of car they drive. She's
not out to marry 'above her', like some kind of
feudal-system peasant from the Dark Ages.

She's not relying on her hopes of a rich,
successful man in her life to make her feel good
about herself and worthwhile ... she relies on
HERSELF, instead.

When it comes to dates, boyfriends, and
potential future husbands, the highly attractive
woman evaluates her prospects on how they make her
feel EMOTIONALLY, not what they can offer her
materially.

Secret #5: The Extremely Attractive Woman Is
Comfortable Being Herself

The average woman, when out on a date with
someone she really likes, is nervous. She feels
like she's under scrutiny.

She wants to be really attractive and charming
- so, she double-guesses herself. She pays strict
attention to how she sits, speaks, and articulates
herself.

It's like she's got a finger poised constantly
over a 'self-edit' button - she's always biting
her tongue and swallowing back thoughts and
opinions that she thinks might not go down well!

NEWSFLASH: when you don't act like your real,
honest self around people, it's bad news. Even if
they like who you 'are' when you're around them ...
even if they fall in love with you ... they're still
not in love with YOU.

They're in love with the role you're ACTING.

A highly attractive woman knows this, and is OK
with being herself in a manner that's comfortable,
honest, and appropriate.

Allow me to explain:

1) She's comfortable: She doesn't worry about
what she 'should' or 'should not' talk about. If
she wants to discuss something, she'll do it -
because it's IMPORTANT TO HER, and she's got
enough self-esteem to prioritize that.

2) She's honest: She doesn't conceal thoughts,
opinions, or beliefs from anyone. She's her real self,
and doesn't try to be somebody that she's not.

3) She's appropriate: She knows to be honest
in a way that's appropriate to the situation. If
she and her date have a disagreement, she handles
herself with class - neither getting outraged, nor
backing demurely down. She confidently holds her
own ... and is polite and mannerly at the same time.

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the 3 steps to keep you from making the biggest
mistake you can make with a guy...

Step 1) You Need To Understand What's Going On Inside
The Mind Of Your Man...

Let me tell it to you straight, as a man...

Women secretly believe that their connection with a
man will "naturally" turn into something deeper without
any communication taking place. But this isn't how it
works for us men.

If you're "assuming" you have a relationship, and that
he feels like you do, you're wrong.

Men don't assume that a connection, being together,
spending quality time and all the rest means they're
in a relationship. Some men do, but not most.

For a man to understand the things YOU want in that
relationship, YOU have to communicate with him in
CLEAR AND DIRECT terms.

Yeah, that's right... You have to put yourself out
there and be vulnerable.

It's NOT luck that women in great relationships have
found a way to communicate with their guy.

They've discovered how to integrate a certain way of
communicating into their thinking and behavior.

Step 2) You Need To Understand What Causes You To Make
"The Big Mistake"

EVERYONE wants to have THEIR needs met first. It's basic
human nature.

But being able to delay your gratification is an AMAZING
thing to develop in your life. (in every part of your life!)

Most people (men and women) want to talk, talk, talk
about what THEY think and what THEY want.

The root of this problem basically boils down to needs
that are unmet.

So making "The Big Mistake" is really all about being
driven by your unmet needs and desires and solely focusing
on what YOU want the relationship to be, without honestly
and critically considering the man's perspective, his
emotional state, and his communication skills.

When you do this with a man, you are subconsciously telling
him that you're more interested in your feelings and what
YOU want than you are in his feelings and what he wants.

And men can read and pick up on women who do this instantly.

Patience, empathy and understanding are the first steps
towards creating the relationship you dream about.

Step 3) How To Avoid Making The Big Mistake

Men are CLUELESS when it comes to identifying the
things that are "obvious" to women in dating and
relationships. Men are AWFUL at conversations about
deep emotions.

If you can make a guy feel like you put his feelings
and needs a priority in this conversation, and always
consider what he wants, he will LOVE YOU for it!

When you consider another person's opinions and feelings
first - often, you end up getting what you want.

When you talk to a man from a positive place of listening
first, he will be 10,000 times more receptive to what you
have to say and what you want once you bring it up than if
you approach him from a place of feeling hurt, communicate
need and projecting fear and anxiety.

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"6 Secrets to Magnetize Men - No S*ex or City Required!"
by Marie Forleo

If you've been getting excited about the new "Se*x and the City" movie, this week's articles for you. In fact, if you're a big SATC fan, you'll remember the classic "Modelizer"Couple episode from Season 1.

The modelizer is the crazy character who would only date models. Guess what? Yours truly landed the "Modelizer"... and I'm not even a model!

So the lesson here is no matter who you are or where you live, there are easy ways boost your irresistible charm. Here are six secrets that helped me land the man of my dreams.

1. Quit Complaining

Many women spend more time complaining about men than actually dating them! Want to turbo boost your irresistibility factor? Be a complaint free zone. That means no complaining about the weather, your job, your body or anything else - whether aloud or in your thoughts.

2. Burn Your Perfect Man Checklist

If you can't find a guy with the right job, age, income, ethnicity or haircolor, chances are you've fallen victim to using a Perfect Man Checklist. You know, a list of criteria any man must have before you'll even consider dating him. The problem with the Perfect Man Checklist is that it's often an unconscious compilation of ideals and mental pictures of "perfect men" we absorbed growing up. These narrow parameters from our past cut us off from boatloads of loving, single and available men that could be fantastic partners today.

*NOTE: Burning your Perfect Man Checklist does NOT mean your man won't have the qualities you want (like honesty, loyalty or a sense of humor). It just means he may show up in a different "package" than you expect.

3. Ignite Your Naughty Factor

In the midst of our busy, fast-paced lives, women's sex lives can often take a back seat. It's essential for our spiritual and emotional well-being to keep our "sexy" in shape. The way to wake up our sensual irresistibility is to proactively ignite our naughty factor. Take a pole dancing class, wear sexy underwear to work, or buy some erotic fiction. Find ways to strengthen your naughty muscles and stay in irresistible sexual shape.

4. Date for Fun - Not to Find "The One"

These days, dating is often full of pressure and anxiety. Let go of trying to find "Mr. Right" and make FUN the focus of each date (what a concept!). Have an adventure. Laugh. Be silly. Let your true irresistible nature shine through. Remember, on any date you can either be miserable or have a good time. The choice is always yours. *NOTE: This FUN idea applies to couples too!

5. Chuck The Rules

I say rules, shmules. Most dating rules are either someone else's truth that you've adopted as your own OR they're an old decision you made in the past when you were upset. Either way, rules pollute the present moment with obsolete information from our past. Know this: you can break every rule in the book when you are centered, clear and in touch with your authentic irresistibility.

6. Be Present

Be fully present in whatever you're doing. This especially true on dates. Turn off your iPhone, Blackberry or cell phone unless absolutely necessary. Give the man you're with the divine gift of your full, undivided attention. There is nothing more irresistible than a vibrantly alive, fully present woman.

The real secret to being irresistible is to be completely and unapologetically you, exactly as you are.

Most of us grossly underestimate our intrinsic beauty and the powerful difference we make in the world. Trust me, you are more beautiful, attractive and irresistible than you'll ever know.

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Man Repellent #1: NEEDINESS

We all want to be WANTED ... but NOBODY wants to
be needed.

Repeat after me: I DO NOT NEED A MAN TO BE
HAPPY.

It's only when you're happy with yourself just
as you are that you'll find a fulfilling
relationship. And if that's not a great reason to
start doing things for YOURSELF, instead of
waiting around for a man to turn up and 'fix' you,
then I don't know what is.

MAN REPELLENT #2: INSECURITY

"Is she prettier than me?"

"Do these hipsters give me a muffin top?"

Of course, we all have our insecure thoughts.
But the trick is to NOT ACT ON THEM. Insecurity is
just part of being human - but ATTRACTIVENESS is a
conscious choice.

MAN REPELLENT #3: CATTINESS AND CRITICISM

Too many women get upset in the proximity of
another beautiful woman. This makes life very
difficult for you.

For a start, no matter how pretty you are,
there are always going to be other attractive
women around. That's just a fact of life.

Secondly, if you're worried about how you're
coming off in comparison to her, you should know
that the more threatened you act by her appearance
- making bitchy comments about her
accessories/hairstyle/makeup/whatever - the more
credence you actually lend to her beauty.

Being catty isn't going to make you any
prettier.

The best, most enriching, and most attractive
reaction you can have to the sight of another hot
woman? Praise her aloud to the people you're with.
You'll come off as a secure, happy woman who's
comfortable enough with her own beauty to be
generous.

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How to Eliminate Your Fears & Reveal The True You

your first step towards inner peace,
clarity, and a beautiful freedom from the nagging
chatter of your negative mind?

Acknowledge that you DO have fears and
insecurities, and that telling yourself that
you're "wrong" or "unreasonable" to have those
fears isn't going to help you deal with them.

Step number two: start REFRAMING your emotions.

Boiled down to its essence, this means that the
feelings and perceptions you have are ENTIRELY
dependent on the perspective that you take. Each
perspective gives you a COMPLETELY new set of
opinions, thoughts, and feelings about that
particular situation.

For example, a MAP of the Rocky Mountains looks
VERY different from the way those exact same
mountains look when you're standing amongst them
on a nature walk, strolling around and staring up
at the craggy peaks, right?

Your PERSPECTIVE has changed - and with it
change your observations, impressions, and
reactions.

In order to change the way that you feel about
areas of your life that are causing you bother at
the moment, you need to reframe your perspective
so that you can ACTIVELY CHANGE the emotions and
reactions that you have.

What you need to do, specifically, is change
your role from PARTICIPATOR to OBSERVER.

When you experience a situation from a
detached, neutral, OBSERVER'S perspective, your
take on it is much more objective, much clearer,
and much less anxiety-inducing than when you
experience that exact same situation from the
perspective of somebody who's right there amongst
it, getting involved and caught up. This latter
perspective is the perspective of the
PARTICIPATOR.

When you're PARTICIPATING mentally and
emotionally in a situation, your reactions are
bound entirely to the outcome of that situation.
You're at the mercy of random chance - or of the
man you're trying to attract.

Here's an example of what I mean.

Connirae Andreas is an NLP master practitioner
and co-author of the highly respected NLP manual,
"Heart of the Mind." Andreas was approached by a
woman who was terrified of public speaking.

She complained of intense symptoms of physical
anguish, and explained that whenever she so much
as CONTEMPLATED giving a speech to a packed
auditorium (which she had to do on occasion for
her job), she felt as though she was going to have
a panic attack.

Andreas got her to REFRAME her perspective.

The first step in doing so was getting her to
describe the mental imagery that she experienced
whenever she thought about giving a speech.

The woman realized straight away that her
imagery was that of a participator. She was
intensely, viscerally bound up in the idea of
giving a speech. Furthermore, that imagery was
very NEGATIVE. She imagined herself, giving the
speech, as a tiny, defenseless woman cowering on
stage, pinioned by the demanding and critical gaze
of a huge, looming audience.

Andreas got her to REFRAME her perspective by
taking an OBSERVER'S role. As soon as she learned
to take the perspective of a member of the
audience and watch HERSELF onstage, instead of
looking out at the audience as the terrified focus
of their attention, she calmed right down.

It was like magic.

In becoming a neutral observer, she realized
that, to everybody else, she was just another
normal person onstage about to give a speech - not
tiny, not defenseless, and not incompetent.

This is exactly what I did. I used the
principles of NLP, and REFRAMED my subjective
participator's perspective that other people found
my attractiveness to be deficient.

Instead of obsessing about how other people
thought of me, and allowing it to control my
energy and thought patterns, I was inspired by
this woman's story to reframe my perspective.

I took a neutral observer's stance when it came
to thinking of myself and how attractive I might
or might not be, and realized that I had nothing
to worry about.

I realized that I might not be the most
physically beautiful woman in the room, but that I
had nothing to be ashamed of. I realized that
other people don't care about our own perceived
flaws, because they're too busy worrying about how
they themselves look.

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when someone asks me, "What is it about me
that men don't like?" my answer is usually not
what they expect. I don't tell them that the
problem is their looks or their shyness or their
faulty understanding of men. I tell them that
their problem is something very different. I say:

"It's the way you treat yourself."

if you are wondering like the reader above,
why men don't "like" you, I have three top tips to
share.


TIP #1.
"Accept yourself."

Self-acceptance is one of the toughest traits
to master, because it means that we have to look
honestly at ourselves - at our big feet, jiggly
thighs, tendency to talk too much, addiction to
supermarket tabloids, and ability to say the wrong
thing at the wrong time - and say, "It's OKAY (and
actually pretty fun) to be me."

Louise Hay has a wonderful book called "You Can
Heal Your Life." It's a classic in the field of
personal development and was originally published
in the mid '80s. Hay believes that self-love and
self-acceptance can actually heal disease. Her
book includes many positive affirmations that you
can say to yourself to remind yourself that YOU
ARE WONDERFUL.

A woman who knows how wonderful she is wouldn't
spare a second thought for the idea that she's
unattractive to men. She's attractive to herself,
and she has confidence that she'll attract the
right man when the right time comes.

Right now, though, she has work to do. There
are a lot of things that she's still not
comfortable with within herself. She wants to
learn how to be a better listener, lose weight,
and learn how to flirt better. Her goal is to
gain new skills so that she becomes a better
person. In time, she knows that she will meet a
man who's also investing in becoming a better
person, and they will deserve one another.

TIP #2.
"Don't be a victim."

It's easy to blame men for our problems.
Besides, men are the ones who ignore us when we
try to flirt and don't ask us on dates, so it's
THEIR fault that we're single and alone.

Blaming men is easy, but it certainly doesn't
help us attract men. Why would men want to be
with women who resent them? If you think that
most men are "idiots" or "jerks," then your
chances of finding the one man who defies that
description are slim to nil.

Men aren't the problem. The problem is NOT
that men don't like you. The problem is that you
don't like yourself. There are parts of yourself
that you haven't accepted yet.

You don't love what you look like, for example.
A survey of 5,000 women (reported by the BBC, 11
Apr 2006) found that "seven out of 10 women said
life would improve if they had 'better' bodies."
Women are notoriously hard on themselves when it
comes to their appearance. If it's not fat, it's
cellulite. If it's not cellulite, it's wrinkles.
Age is unforgiving on the skin, but it's light on
the heart. Women report greater feelings of
self-acceptance as they age.

Hopefully, with that self-acceptance comes a
greater feeling of empowerment. Men like women
who like them, so your job is NOT to hang around
until some male asks you out. Rather, it's to
meet as many men as you can and find reasons to
take pleasure in their company.


TIP #3.
"Find reasons to like everyone you meet."

When you feel alone and unattractive, you tend
to act in ways that reinforce your beliefs. You
tend to push other people away before they get too
close. You tend to be very protective and keep up
your defenses in case of rejection.

These behaviors literally drive men away. Why
go through such hard work to date someone who's
self-conscious and insecure when you COULD be
dating someone who's open, warm and loving?

As I said before, men like women who like them.
If you're afraid or suspicious of men, then men
won't like you very much. If you're critical or
judgmental about men, then men won't like you very
much.

On the other hand, the more you can find to
like and appreciate in others, the more they'll
enjoy being in your company. The more they enjoy
being in your company, the better you feel about
yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the
easier it is to like and appreciate others! It's
a beautiful cycle.

So the next time you feel ugly and alone, don't
glare at your reflection in the mirror and hate
your looks. Don't brood over the thought that you
might be alone forever. Instead, do something
different. Go out and focus on making someone
else feel really good.

Give someone a compliment. Call a friend and
listen to everything they have to say with
interest and admiration. Spontaneously buy a gift
for someone. Visit an elderly relative.
Volunteer at an animal shelter. Smile at the
clerk behind the counter and ask them how their
day is going. Do whatever it takes to make the
people in your life feel great.

When you find something to like in everyone, I
can promise that everyone will find something to
like in you.

*****************************************

ANTHONY ROBBINS: "There are 2 things that
motivate people toward success: inspiration and
desperation."

Robbins - the world-famous motivator and life
coach - has struck on an interesting truth in this
pithy statement: that there are 2 different kinds
of motivation.

There is "away from" motivation, and there is
"toward" motivation.

People who are "away from" motivated tend to be
excellent problem solvers. They see the PROBLEMS
inherent in things. They're motivated by the
AVOIDANCE of unpleasant sensations like pain,
stress, and anxiety.

For example, to motivate themselves to get a
rust patch on their car fixed, they wouldn't be
motivated by thinking about how shiny and
immaculate their car would look with a fresh coat
of paint. They'd be motivated by the thought of
how much the rust will cost to fix if they allow
it get any worse, and how bad the car will look if
the rust isn't fixed.

They're motivated by a desire to AVOID certain
things.

People who are "toward" motivated are motivated
by positive things, like pleasure, goals, and
rewards. They tend to respond well to perks and
incentives - for example, an office worker who's
motivated by 'toward' results would be motivated
by things like bonuses, holidays, additional
perks, and potential promotions.

Knowing which kind of end result drives you is
a BIG part of motivating yourself to achieving
what you want.

Although it might seem as though option #2 -
"toward" motivation - is the more 'positive'
option, this is actually not true. In fact, it's
possible to achieve PLENTY with EITHER option, and
each option has its advantages and disadvantages.

Dr Zweig advises other "away from" motivated
people to be aware of 3 important things:

- That the further away you get from the
"threat" that's motivating you, the more your
motivation may diminish. So let's say you're
motivated by a fear of loneliness. You get
yourself a boyfriend, so you're no longer lonely.
He may not actually be a very good boyfriend for
you, but because your primary threat - that of
loneliness - has been neutralized, your motivation
to get a BETTER boyfriend isn't strong enough to
change the status quo.

- "Away from" motivateds are more focused on
what they're getting away FROM than what they're
heading TOWARDS. This can prompt a kind of 'out of
the frying pan, into the fire' chain of results:
they're so focused on what they DON'T want that
they neglect to think about what they DO want.

- The primary motivator of "away from"
motivated people is NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE. Things
like pain, anguish, anxiety, and discomfort are
what prompt "away from" people to act. Without a
consciousness of this mental motivation
programming, "away from" people can be subject to
putting up with TOO MUCH mental anguish before
they make a decision to change. True "away from"
achievers know that they are most productive when
they consciously adjust their tolerance of pain
and stress to being very LOW. In other words,
they're spurred to act by only very mild levels of
pain and stress, instead of waiting until things
get really bad before acting.

So now, let's talk about how you can ACHIEVE
your goals as they pertain to dating and
relationships.

These might be goals like, "Become more
sociable and confident in social situations."

Or, "Get into the best shape ever so I look and
feel really attractive."

Upon reflection, you'll find that there are
often quite strong DISCOURAGERS in place that work
to STOP us from achieving our goals.

For example, if your goal was to throw a
singles party, you might be discouraged from
trying to achieve your goal by a fear that nobody
would come.

If your goal was to get into the best shape of
your life so that you looked and felt great, you
might be discouraged by a dislike of physical
exertion.

A lack of motivation isn't anything to do with
LAZINESS. As you now know, there are usually
discouragers at work that are JUST as strong as
the motivators that we have.

The result is that we're trapped between these
two poles, wishing for change, but unable to
commit to an action either way.

This is not a satisfying place to be in!

The trick to overcoming these completely
natural, completely commonplace discouragers?

It's all in the DETAILS.

Practitioners of NLP call these details
"submodalities". These are the "fine print" of any
task, action, or item.

For example, the submodalities of an IMAGE
could be that it's 3-dimensional or flat. It could
be Technicolor, sepia, or black and white. It
could be panoramic and seen right up close, or it
could be small, faint, and far away.

(For more information on submodalities, see the
book, "NLP: The New Technology of Achievement", by
the NLP Comprehensive Training Team.)

Interestingly, the human brain uses certain,
predictable patterns of submodalities when it's
dealing with things it's ATTRACTED to.

So if you were to visualize a delicious piece
of rich, moist chocolate cake right now, you'd
most likely see it close up to your face, in high
detail and flattering, inviting color. You'd be
able to SMELL its rich fudginess. You'd see how
the light reflected off its glossy, buttery
frosting.

In contrast to this, things that are
UNATTRACTIVE are usually seen by the human brain
as being very small, distant, fuzzy, and far away.

So, for example, think of a plateful of
Brussels Sprouts, and you'll likely see them a
small, dull picture of an undefined plate of green
vegetables. There is little detail. The colors are
dull and uninviting. They're at a distance to you,
not right up close to your face like the chocolate
cake was.

How this applies to you: YOU CAN MAKE THINGS
ATTRACTIVE TO YOURSELF SIMPLY BY CHANGING THE
SUBMODALITIES OF THAT THING.

You can make yourself want to do things, simply
by changing the way your brain looks at them.

Alter the submodalities, and you alter your
desires. Simple as that.

To do this, visualize the END RESULT THAT YOU
WANT in clear, glossy, high-definition color.

See yourself talking confidently and happily to
that good-looking guy. Smell the faint aroma of
cologne on his collar. See the light gleam off his
white teeth as he laughs at your jokes. Enjoy the
sound of his voice as he flirts with you.
Visualize what you're wearing, how you look, and
how your hair is styled. Picture him asking you
out on a date, and imagine how you'll feel as he
does.

Make this picture BIG, BRIGHT, and CLOSE UP.

Now visualize the alternative: yourself NOT
talking to this guy - perhaps you're watching him
from across the room, from your vantage point
behind the potted plant.

To make this picture as UNATTRACTIVE as
possible, make it SMALL, DIM, DULL, and FAR AWAY.

Your brain will NATURALLY be drawn towards that
which is big, bright, and close-up.

When you make a picture of your end goals as
RICH, ATTRACTIVE, and COMPELLING as possible,
you're more motivated to get it. There are some
truly incredible success stories attached to the
use of NLP (which is what this crafting of
submodalities and theory of motivation types is
based on.)

****************************************************

It's been my experience that the guys who constantly send
flowers, buy expensive jewelry for women they don't know well are not
lucky in love, and the same goes for women WHO GIVE TOO MUCH to
men.

As for the advice to change your personality, I cannot think of
worse advice. The message is that you've accomplished a great deal
(education, position, possessions) in your life, but it doesn't mean
much when you haven't landed some man.

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

I truly believe on this planet there exists a man who would be
thrilled to be with an accomplished, smart woman like you. A man who
will be grateful he doesn't have to do all the thinking all the time,
that he truly has a partner he loves, who loves him, and who
"has his back."


I surely do not recommend you date a man who mistreats you in any
way. You may have been shocked to have been treated badly by the
Christian, but Christians come in different stripes. There are the
"Treat others as you would have them treat you" Christians and there
are the "Wives, submit to your husbands in all things" Christians.

By all means, know the qualities you want in a man. "Feel" yourself
in that relationship. Know your own good qualities. Treat yourself
as the most wonderful man in the world would treat you: Where would
you go together? What would you do? How would his hand feel in yours?

Visualize a marriage to a man who has similar values. Open yourself
up to the possibility that he exists. In the meantime, limit time
with people who make you feel "less" because you're not married
(despite your accomplishments), or that imply you must change who
you are to make yourself acceptable to men.

As for attracting the perfect man, remember a perfect man does
not exist, but the perfect man for YOU does exist.

********************************************

YOU actually PREVENT yourself from getting what
you want.

When you're acting on the belief that you're
dating because you want to ACHIEVE something, it
does two things:

- 1. It scares people away from you, because
they can sense that you're not interested in them
for who they are. You're interested in them
because they might be able to help you get what
you want - whether that's a relationship, a
marriage, children, stability, or whatever.

- 2. It actually prevents you from having a
good time. You can go out on a date with someone
and have a fantastic time, even if you know that
it's probably not going to 'go anywhere'.

The mindset of 'this has to work' has actually
been PROVEN to negatively impact your success
levels - when something is that important to you,
and you feel as though your options are limited,
you'll be so terrified of failing that you
PROBABLY WILL.

You need to learn how to adjust your mindset so
that you're not expecting too much out of your
dating life.

*********************************************

he top 4
commitment-requirements are: the 4 things that
every man NEEDS, before he can (or will) commit to
you.


1. The Time is Right.

For the average woman, loving someone is all
about WHO she loves. She meets Mr Right, and falls
- and stays - in love with him.

Not so for men. For a man to commit to a woman,
it's more about WHEN it happens than WHO it
happens with. As Thomas David Kehoe, author of the
vastly enlightening "Hearts and Minds: How Our
Brains are Hardwired for Relationships", tell us,
men look at their lives in a very chronological
way. When he feels that the time is right, he will
choose to commit to whoever he is with at that
time.

For most men, it's less about WHO it is than
WHEN it is.

Commitment, to a man, is mapped out in terms of
"life chunks": the times of his life when
commitment is necessary, and times when it is not.

Here's an example of how these "life chunks"
might look:

- Chunk 1. Babyhood and childhood. Totally
reliant on family; commitment not an issue, since
he is utterly dependent on others for basic
survival.

- Chunk 2. Early adulthood:
independence, sexual and emotional freedom.
Experiments with familial tie-breaking; leaves
home for college and/or for travel. Is able to
prioritize his own needs and wants for the first
time in his life. Complete freedom with no
commitment or obligations to anybody.

- Chunk 3. Professional life begins. Obliged to
commit to work and professional success. Little freedom for
personal experimentation or growth, other than in
a very controlled and restricted environment.

- Chunk 4. Marriage. Extreme commitment; obliged to
stay in "safe" job in order to provide for wife
and children.

- Chunk 5. Retirement. Severely
limited personal freedom, due to the physical
limitations imposed by age, and lack of funds
available with which to compensate for this.

REQUIREMENT #1: He needs to be READY to commit.
Remember, it's about WHEN, not WHO.


2. You Do Not Represent Limitation.

No matter what stage of life a man is at, he is
still an individual with his own needs and
desires. Just because he's grown past his "early
adulthood" stage doesn't mean that he won't want
freedom and the right to assert his own will. He
needs to know that you aren't going to become a
ball and chain.

You must represent an ASSET to his life, not a
drain or a restriction.

It's true that men are more attracted to feisty
women who have their own opinions and ideas on the
world and life at large. But it's still necessary
to strike the right balance between being an
independent woman, and just being plain difficult.

For example, when confronted with a partner who
wants to, say, take 4 weeks to go on a
cross-country motorbike tour of five states, a
smart-feisty woman would:

- express her admiration for his sense of adventure

- tell him that she'll miss him, and

- send him on his way with a smile and a hug.

Then, when he returns, she might suggest a
holiday or activity that SHE would enjoy, that the
two of them can do together. This strengthens
their bond in two ways:

1. It shows him that she cares about his
happiness, and is therefore a good candidate for
long-term commitment.

2. Enjoying bonding time together upon his
return will highlight the good times they have
together: it will underline the ways in which his
relationship makes him happy, as opposed to the
ways that solitary "independent time" makes him
happy.

To get a man to want to commit to you, you need
to make it obvious how much better you will make
his life. It needs to be clear to him that having
you around is much, MUCH better than the
alternative.

This is where compromise and common sense come
in. Statistics show us that the women in
successful, committed relationships have nailed
the art of compromise to a T: they have their own
idealistic qualities for the "perfect man", but
they don't let this quest for ephemeral perfection
get in the way of a good relationship.

This means that you need to be a flexible and
understanding girlfriend. You need to be prepared
to put his welfare first sometimes, just as you
expect him to do the same for you. Save any
demands for when you REALLY need to make them -
and the rest of the time, allow him his
independence with a good grace.

REQUIREMENT #2: Having a woman who enjoys and
admires his lust for life, not condemns him for
it.


3. You're Both on the Same Wavelength.

Having common goals is an extremely important
component of lasting relationships.

A certain amount of difference is to be
expected in these goals, but only up to a certain
point. The same "base goal" must be approximately
the same for the both of you, otherwise trouble is
likely brewing.

Here's an example of what I mean: let's say he
wants to travel to Peru at some point in the next
5 years, while you've got your heart set on
Australia's Gold Coast. Very likely, the two of
you will be able to come to some sort of
arrangement here without the relationship being
damaged at all. Why? Because the same "base goal"
is a priority for each of you. The bottom line is,
you both want to travel.

Now let's look at a different situation. Let's
say he wants to travel to Peru sometime in the
next 5 years, whereas your life is more focused on
finishing off your doctorate in linguistics. Or
climbing the career ladder. Or settling down and
starting a family. In a situation like this, there
is very little scope for mutual satisfaction: your
"base goals" are completely different.

In the above example, while it might be
possible for you to contrive a situation where you
both stay together - say through compromise or
goal adjustment - such a compromise or adjustment
would likely require one person to either postpone
or cancel their individual agenda. That person
would then be left feeling deprived, and
potentially resentful.

Discussing your goals with your partner is an
important aspect of mapping out your expectations
for the future. If you want to get a sense of how
easy it will be for him to commit, and STAY
committed, to your relationship, have a talk about
what you'd both like to achieve in the foreseeable
future.

All you're aiming to do here is get a sense of
whether or not your desires coincide in any way -
and, if they don't, how much scope for flexibility
there is in each of your goals.

REQUIREMENT #3: His aims and desires must be
at least basically the same as yours.

4. He Accepts Your Negative Traits, Not Just
Your Positive Ones.

Once the initial buzzy flush of "falling in
love" has worn off, the two of you will begin to
get a sense of each other's positive and negative
traits in a more realistic light.

This is the time when most couples either
accept each other's imperfections and stay
together for the long haul, or part ways and look
for someone more suited to their needs.

A big part of this boils down to how ready he
is for commitment (see commitment-requirement 1).
We all know, on an intellectual level, that
there's no such thing as a "perfect partner": we
all have our off days and irritating
idiosyncrasies. But it takes experience and a
certain degree of emotional maturity to understand
this fact on the visceral, instinctive level
that's generally required to actually put it into
practice.

In other words, men can all understand the
concept that the "perfect partner" literally does
not exist; and yet they're not all ready to stop
searching for this perfect person. They need
life-experience before they can adjust to the best
that reality has to offer them, without feeling
like they're "settling".

A man who's still searching for Miss Perfect is
not ready for commitment yet - to anybody. It will
take some time for him to realize, on that gut
level, that there's no "perfect relationship" or
"perfect woman" out there.

It's not until he's reached that gut-level
understanding that he'll be able to put aside a
niggling sense that there's a better option for
him out there somewhere, and become truly capable
of lasting commitment.

REQUIREMENT #4: He knows that you - like
everyone else - have flaws, but loves you anyway.




********************************************

>>July 24, 2008 at 2:27:44 AM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 27 日 星期二 【晴】

今天是爸爸的死忌

不知道他現在在哪裡

在做甚麼呢?

要幸福喔!



today the counsellor talks about personal boundaries:

Setting personal boundaries is a matter of
self-respect. You deserve to be treated
appropriately. Some things are obvious: verbal
abuse, filthy language, physical violence, or
threats are not appropriate ways to treat another
person.

they ask us to repeat this:

"I will not be treated with disrespect."

"I will not be yelled at."

"I will not accept abusive behavior."

"I will not be made to feel small."


THE 3 RULES OF SETTING BOUNDARIES

The first rule of setting a personal boundary
is making sure that you are equally strict with
yourself. If I don't want anyone yelling at me,
then I make certain that I don't raise my voice
with anyone else. Always follow the Golden Rule
and don't treat anyone in ways that you wouldn't
allow yourself to be treated.

The second rule of setting a personal boundary
is to be consistent. If, for example, yelling at
you when they're drunk is okay, but yelling at you
when they're sober isn't, then you're giving your
partner mixed messages.

The third rule of setting a personal boundary
is to have clear consequences. If your partner
yells at you, and that's a no-no behavior, then
know in advance what you are going to do. If you
yell back at your partner, then you're only
encouraging the behavior.

I suggest establishing the principle of
"time-out" in your relationship. If your
boyfriend crosses the line, then call, "Time out!"
and exit the situation until both of you have
cooled down. Afterwards, when you're both calm,
explain why his behavior isn't acceptable to you.
Don't be judgmental - he may not have known that
this particular behavior crossed your boundaries.
But be firm - even if he tries to explain himself
and justify what he did, don't budge on your
position.

Your partner is going to cross the line from
time to time; he's only human, after all! Don't
accept his behavior, but don't hold it against
him, either. Learn to forgive and move on.


THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-RESPECT

As you learn to value yourself more, you'll
find that you naturally attract men who treat you
well. The universe has a way of sending us men
that treat us how we think we should be treated.
If you think that you're not good enough, then you
may find yourself dating men that tell you that
you're no good. Don't believe them - instead, get
out of that relationship as fast as you can!

You deserve to be treated with respect, love,
appreciation, and gentleness. But, in order to
attract a man who can treat you like that, you
need to learn to respect, love, appreciate, and be
gentle with yourself.

>>June 8, 2008 at 10:03:28 AM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 26 日 星期一 【晴】

depression 還沒有完全好過來

最近新工作 offer 很好

但我卻生起奇怪的念頭

認為上天對我那麼好

可能因為我快 "命不久矣"

所以把我該享的福一次過在臨死前送過來



不過 aware 這個沒有完全康復的心情 / 病情

總比不 aware 好

:)

>>May 26, 2008 at 4:21:05 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 25 日 星期日 【晴】

保密日記，請登入觀看！

>>May 26, 2008 at 4:16:15 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 24 日 星期六 【晴】

今天出 camp

昨天晚上突然因為 j 而覺得非常失落

整晚失眠

今早四點起床過後

一直踩了一 day

現在很睏呢!



今天是 c 及 c 的 engagement party

在此祝福他倆甜甜蜜蜜

c 從一而終

c 說 c 希望陪她生

讓我想起當時跟 j 談起這個問題 j 說他怕血

見血會暈所以不願陪產



這次靜坐營

提醒了我無論遇到甚麼事情

也別只觀察那個情緒

而是要觀察當下情緒所引起的身體感受

我都把這些忘記了

感恩被提醒 :)



另外

老師也提醒了我行為有身, 口, 意三種

physical action, verbal action, mental action

當中以 mental action 最為重要

我知道我不能控制我的 mental action

但我希望每當想起 j 而讓我憤怒傷心的時候

我起碼可以盡量不把它變為 "口" (verbal) 或 "身" (physical) 的行為

希望從今天起

盡量不在 blog 媽叉他

在未能讓自己的意念上也不怒他時

希望把怒氣 limit 在意念上

不進一步把那怒氣化為 verbal nor physical action



說易行難

盡做!

>>May 25, 2008 at 4:54:19 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 23 日 星期五 【晴】

朋友說

"after reading ur blog, i think the foundamental reason is because his love and passion is lost, back to the

original of his own, that he started to find excuse for break up or keep on remind himself his wish list of

having a gf. see if you can dun 執著 on his wordings towards you, then you may feel a little bit better, and

simply it is the 緣份 that come and go in your life..."



thanks my dear friend

will try to understand that he simply doesn't love me anymore so he called it off

without any ache or heartbreak from his side

still....rationally i can understand....

but emotionally still feel sad.....

I will remind myself that he simply lost his passion (i could hardly call it 'love')

and all the blame he tries to put on me is not always true

of cos, i admit that i hv my part to improve too



"yuen fun"..... i think it is the best way to explain thing when we don't know wht's going on......

thanks again my fd :)

hugssss



熱情

從來也會有冷卻的時候

能理解而接受

進而把熱情提昇至真正愛情的人

卻又好像少之又少

告訴我有這樣的單身男孩存在好嗎?

想起曾經有一個 ex 也說過跟我的 "magic" 沒有了, 所以要分手.....

>>May 21, 2008 at 6:03:55 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 22 日 星期四 【晴】

保密日記，請登入觀看！

>>May 21, 2008 at 5:32:40 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 21 日 星期三 【晴】

親愛的嫲嫲過身

不知不覺已經一年了

今天是她的死忌

我相信

嫲嫲現在是安好的



下午入 meditation camp

星期天出來

>>May 21, 2008 at 5:44:38 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 20 日 星期二 【晴】

生老病死

想不到一天經歷了當中的 "老, 病, 死"

早上接到樓下姑姐電話

說三姑婆剛剛離世了

昨天晚上探望她

她才像一個嬰兒般在睡覺

不時模她自己的臉

睡得很可愛

文叔叔今天也說昨天醫生才告訴他三姑婆的病情良好

應該可以轉院

想不到今天就離開了

不過值得 "安慰" 的是她應該走得不辛苦

抵達聯合醫院

看著三姑婆白白的臉

她只像熟睡而已

我信她會走好

她是一名虔誠天主教徒

在此衷心祝福她到天國好好享福



午飯過後

一家去了探剛出院數天的五叔公及五叔婆

由於五叔公記憶力衰退

社工認為他倆不適合自己居住

他們的女兒又外嫁了

所以進了老人院

老人院的房間總算光猛

空氣很流通

最重要的是他們住的是一所雙人房

可以教他兩人安心

他們真的一日不見

如隔三秋

當時他倆一同進院的時候

五叔公經常一拐一拐的從男病房走到女病房探望五叔婆

因手續關係

五叔婆比五叔公早幾天進老人院

今天五叔婆卻告訴我她在老人院已經等了五叔公幾個月

看著他們二人

真的感受到 "執子之手, 與子皆老"

五叔公年少時是渡海泳的

他也懂很多英語

今天一見他他便說他自己是 "old man"

很可愛

老人家

的確很可愛的呢!

在此祝福五叔公及五叔婆二人繼續甜甜蜜蜜



晚上再去浸會醫院探望七嬸

她的臉部突然覺得麻痺

以前也試過的

所以進院好好檢查

在此祝福她早日康復

還有可以忍住少吃一些肥膩的食物



人生無常

的確如此

生命

在呼吸間

有誰知道現在的這一呼一吸是否最後的一口?



希望能學懂活在當下

共勉之

>>May 21, 2008 at 5:26:53 PM GMT+8

2008 年 5 月 19 日 星期一 【晴】

最近新聞坊間都在說

珍惜所擁有的

珍惜眼前人

突然心裡問

為何他不珍惜我呢?

為何他從來也不覺得他自己有任何問題呢?

為何把所有東西都推到我身上來呢?

既然他不珍惜我

那懂珍惜我的那個他又在哪呢?




說因為我發脾氣所以分手

當我說改的時候他又問我宗教問題怎樣解決

分手後一個月聯絡他

他又問我這個月來有沒有主動接觸基督教

那其實他是否主要因為我不是基督徒而分手?



救命

已經四個多月了

為何還沒有 get over

diu

真的很希望能把他完整的拋掉

理性如此想

感性卻控制不了..........




最近朋友感情問題

他的處理手法

讓我回想起 j 所對我做的

但我沒有犯下那些彌天大錯呀?

為何要這樣對我?

為何明明因為我不是基督徒

又把這麼多罪名硬加在我的身上

還說甚麼 "你依家知錯已經太遲"

chi lun sin

如果說錯

我可能錯在發脾氣

但他也有他錯的地方

為何把所有的錯都推在我身上

diu.....

>>May 20, 2008 at 4:46:49 PM GMT+8