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2009 年 5 月 31 日星期日【晴】

from hun. circle jen:

"oh hunn. different people mean different things to us. u cant say it's
unfair. wat about andrew with that whore? you think it's fair? i dont
think so la...
u r proud becos he is what u want. u see the qualities in him. and want
ur family to see that too."

circle jen can always make me feel better. i love her.

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today is pretty much my last official outting with hb.
we went to lighthouse park for a lil hike.
perfect weather. very breezy. so nice.

i had a good time. and i hope he did too.
i will miss you a lot. mulutufu.

sixteen days to look forward. one last day to look back.

>>June 1, 2009 at 10:45:56 AM GMT+8

2009 年 5 月 23 日星期六【晴】

for hunny bun. love you forever.

梁靜茹－可惜不是你

這一刻突然覺得好熟悉像昨天今天同時在放映
我這句語氣原來好像你不就是我們愛過的證據

差一點騙了自己騙了你愛與被愛不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一種運氣但我無法完全交出自己

努力為你改變卻變不了預留的伏線
以為在你身邊那也算永遠
仿佛還是昨天可是昨天已非常遙遠
但閉上雙眼我還看得見

可惜不是你陪我到最後曾一起走卻　走失那路口
感謝那是你牽過我的手還能感受那溫柔

那一段我們曾心貼著心　我想我更有權力關心你
可能你已走進別人風景多希望也有星光的投影

努力為你改變卻變不了預留的伏線
以為在你身邊那也算永遠
仿佛還是昨天可是昨天已非常遙遠
但閉上雙眼我還看得見

可惜不是你陪我到最後曾一起走卻走失那路口
感謝那是你牽過我的手還能感受那溫柔

可惜不是你陪我到最後曾一起走卻走失那路口
感謝那是你牽過我的手還能感受那溫柔

感謝那是你牽過我的手還能溫暖我胸口

>>May 25, 2009 at 5:10:28 AM GMT+8

2009 年 4 月 7 日星期二【晴】

shane said he might not be able to come at all.
tokyo/hk trip probably cancelled. more like MOST LIKELY.

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MAY 21, 2009 - DIARY WAS SHUT DOWN ...
so i dun even remember what i wanted to write that day!

>>May 22, 2009 at 6:39:35 AM GMT+8

2009 年 3 月 30 日星期一【晴】

i forgot to update this important news:
SHANE AND I ARE GOING TO TOKYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we were looking up flights and planning our dates.
june 3/4: i fly to hk
june16: he flies to hk
june 19/20: we fly to tokyo
june 23/24: we fly to vancouver

sth like that!! woohoooo!!

last friday. we finished the May issue for VanMag. Gary (Editor) bought us lunch from Cactus Club. I only ordered a green salad. it was a small one.
so i went out to eat more food myself hahha. well as i planned to anyways.

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>>March 31, 2009 at 8:34:23 PM GMT+8

2009 年 3 月 25 日星期三【微雨】

happy bday to ah b. i miss you tons.

i am super happy as i will be seeing shane soon!
i am going to hk in june. meet him there. then we will be going to tokyo!
super excited. =)

last nite. he tried to trick me... he told me that he is not coming to canada cuz there isn't much to see. and that he would just go to sydney for the weekend.
i believed him. but i didn't really say much. but i was really UPSET at that moment.
then he said. he expected me to say "WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!" but i didn't!
well i told him if you don't want to come, i can't make you.
and really. i expected sth like this would happen anyway. at that moment. i was thinking. oh. i guess he doesn't want to see me then.

but THANK GOD. he was just trying to fool me. phew.
he fucking scared me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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>>March 27, 2009 at 3:49:40 PM GMT+8

2009 年 3 月 20 日星期五【晴】

today there were some good sales.
vincent park. 40 dollars for a nice black coat. leggings. top. tights. quite cheap. super pretty!

then went to zara to get 2 pairs of jeans cuz the ones i have now are too loose!
40 bucks per pair. cheap again. fits me perfect. i am happy.

had a talk with hb again.
this time i feel better.
at least i dun have the urge to see or call him again tomorrow. b/c i know i am better off w/o him now.
but i still love and miss him.

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>>March 22, 2009 at 7:40:25 AM GMT+8

2009 年 3 月 10 日星期二【晴】

wa. sexy boy said he likes my face!!! =)
and he likes my laugh as well. haha.

its great to be hearing nice compliments from someone. it really makes my day. and especially it is someone you like!

lately i have been dealing with my ma faan family. it really sucks. honestly. i dunno what to do. i dunno how to fix the problem. i just dunno anymore.

the only times i feel 'free' and feel happy in a way is at work. at school. and talking to shane!!

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>>March 19, 2009 at 8:42:51 AM GMT+8

2009 年 3 月 8 日星期日【晴】

wa. first time shane called me thru his mobile!
i have a special ringtone for his number, but since he usually calls from skype, so it doesn't ring thru his cell phone number.

so this time the caller id says 'SHANE CELL'... and it played that specific song i had... it freaked me out! hahaha... but so happy!!

he just called to tell me that he had to play squash tonight so to arrange a diff time to talk. my wed, his thurs.

THANK YOU!! =)

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>>March 20, 2009 at 5:45:20 AM GMT+8

2009 年 3 月 7 日星期六【乍雨乍晴】

another goodbye has been said.

once again. i failed.
but this weekend has been really really bad.
yesterday i cried pretty much the whole day b/c too bad i have such an asshole brother.
thx to those that talked to me.

cowsista. thx for coming out to just talk.
hb. thx for talking to me on the fone. thx for willing and initiating to meet up.
winnie bean. thx for letting me come over and talk.
ver. thx for letting me cry on ur shoulder.
ringo. thx for hugging me when i cried.
byron. thx for standing in the cold with me and getting me kleenex.
ver.cyn.amy.winnie bean. cho yau. thx for talking w/ me at the airport.

today i emailed my sis what happened. she actually understands me. i am quite happy.
now i understand when she told me that i should focus on my career and myself. before i thought she didn't understand me... but now that i jumped out of the hole and have become more selfish... i understand what she says.

and for hb. really have to say goodbye again this time. maybe this is the last time i will talk to u. maybe not. i am not sure... i have too much going on my life at this moment. and i am about to have a nervous breakdown.
honestly. i dun want to say goodbye. and i am sure you don't neither. we both tried so hard to become friends/family again. but unfortunately, we failed once again.

i think i am a big failure.
i cannot communicate with the closest ppl in my life. my family and hb. this really hurts me and makes me really upset... feels like the best way is to walk away from them.. which i dun want to.. but i think i must...

i miss hb. and i still love him. he said the same.

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>>March 9, 2009 at 8:38:13 AM GMT+8

2009 年 2 月 25 日星期三【微雨】

what good does this do to me?
i can't think of any. all bad stuff.

i miss the old times. i miss everything before that day.

i gave it another chance. the second chance seems like it is a failure...
maybe this is a final call.
tomorrow i will have to make a decision...
i know what i am suppose to do, but i don't have the courage to say it.
last time i did... because i couldn't stand it. but this time... how do i do it?

forever love... what a great song.

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>>February 27, 2009 at 8:11:51 AM GMT+8