2011 年 1 月 4 日 星期二 【晴】



今天我似乎要去野餐，一個危險的旅程。

我需要去馬爾文工作，從城市為到工作區20分鐘。
在火車上，我看到一個女人穿著紫色的外套走在孤獨的火車。
寂寞的她聞到了麵包，她買了。
我在想，如果我要留在這兒，我會成為她？
穿著紫色的衣服，寂寞吃麵包。哈哈

我知道，需要30分鐘到火車站步行到辦公室。
所以我把我的自行車跟我今天。哈哈
我正在享受著騎自行車，享受著涼爽的風和溫暖的陽光非常。
它只需不到10分鐘到達那裡。對此我感到高興。

工作5小時後，我回到了車站騎自行車。
到車站的路上，我感到很頭暈。所以我停下自行車，坐了下來。
我試圖步行到車站，但我不能。我不能走路，也看不到。

我覺得幾乎死亡。

我想這是因為缺乏血在我頭上。所以我躺在地板上，它是一個主要街道。
沉重的陽光和寒風使我清醒。我看到有許多美麗的藍天白雲。
耶穌愛我像陽光一樣。我是看著愉快，忘記了我一直痛苦。
我想我不能輕易死去。

我用1小時 15分鐘終於回家。
這是我的死亡筆記帶微笑。=)

我的好朋友，黃真真看到我的臉書的狀態，立即打電話給我。
它如此溫暖！對不起讓你擔心。

可如此


>>January 5, 2011 at 12:43:25 PM GMT+8

2011 年 1 月 3 日 星期一 【晴】



我要每天都寫一些短篇故事。我希望我能堅持每天都做。

其實我是用英文寫的，但我喜歡玩線上翻譯從我寫了郵件給我爸開始。哈哈
這裡可能有一些錯誤的翻譯，但我認為它非常有趣。
如果你不明白這一切，只好猜測它。哈哈

今天，我認識了一位經紀人，他正在做移民服務。
我喜歡他的態度交朋友，做業務。
他真的感動了我是誰，一個女孩怎麼可能做很多事情在同一時間。
他說，公司聘用你是非常幸運的。我很欣賞他的欽佩。
他說，有時你可以幫助別人，然後會有人幫你。
他說，我沒有必要向他支付申請費，我可以通過自己申請的TR。
但他樂於教我，見我為朋友。
他說，他可能把我介紹給其他朋友來設計和攝影服務。
他說，藝術家更美好的生活和工作在墨爾本。
他建議我成立一個辦公室，藝術和設計製作。
我說，我不能做一切事情由我自己，我需要一個經理幫助我。哈哈，
我們高興地交談超過 1小時，然後他送我出去。

安吉拉我的朋友建議他，說他是個好人。
我覺得他是一個感恩的人。他的工作並不全是錢。
他讚賞其他人作為朋友。
我覺得他也是一個英俊溫柔的傢伙。哈哈。結束

尚未結束，在這裡，我希望我的香港好朋友，
美菱一個溫暖的溫暖與快樂的生日她未來的丈夫馬克。哈哈

和我的2個朋友在墨爾本相遇，丹尼斯和加路思生日快樂！=)

可如此

（我的名字）哈哈


>>January 4, 2011 at 8:57:06 AM GMT+8

2010 年 12 月 29 日 星期三 【晴】


著名的心理學家弗格姆（E.Fromm）在他的名著《愛的藝術》中有這麼一句名言：

不成熟的愛是：因為我需要你，所以我愛你；

而成熟的愛是：因為我愛你，所以我需要你。

一個人付出的愛是不是成熟，從他最原始的動機與表達得到驗證。

如果是基於需要（例如：因為我孤單、寂寞，所以我需要你陪我與安慰），那麼他所說的愛其實不是真愛，而是一種條件的需索卻假冒愛的名義。這假愛的鑑別非常容易，就是當他的需求已得到滿足（例如：因為你的陪伴安慰，他已不再感到寂寞），便會對你的存在覺得多餘與厭煩。
所以，當你的情人打電話給你，訴說他見不著你的日子真是茶不思飯不想，而求你趕過去給他看看的時候，你且慢高興。因為說穿了，他只是要你去給他下飯罷了！他只是需要你，哪裡是愛你呢？
而真正的愛是無條件的自由付出。所謂需要，其實只是一種邀請：他需要一個人和他共同完成這樁愛的事實，所以他對你提出邀請了。而這樣的真愛也很容易鑑別，就是當你對他的邀請婉拒甚至只是沈吟的時候，他立刻就能尊重你的意願而停步，而不會死追活纏，非要你答應才甘心。

何以故？只因他並不是荏弱的人格需要你去支持，而是秉其人格的獨立堅強，願邀你分享他生命的美好時光。

因此我們說愛的第一要義就是自由，這一方面是指愛的付出應當基於自由意志，而別無潛在的陰暗動機。一方面則是指對對方人格自由的充分尊重，而不在付出的愛上面附帶有渴想、期望、要求乃至逼迫的壓力。而真的相愛是一種愉悅甜美的經驗，而不是互相剝削的債務。但許多情人的相處卻總是從無私的愉悅始，而以沈重的負擔終。情人總忍不住想用對方的束縛來保障自己的安全，卻不知只會帶來更多的煩憂。而一個願意對方完全自由的人，又有誰捨得離棄？只是道理雖然簡明，當事到臨頭，總是不容易做到罷了！

有人問：「你為什麼喜歡一個人？」

我只能夠說出為什麼不喜歡一個人，卻說不出為什麼喜歡個人。

喜歡一個人，是一種感覺。
不喜歡一個人，卻是事實。

事實容易解釋，感覺卻難以言喻。

愛情是忽然有一個人，我們覺得一見如故，很想靠近他，我們的內分泌忽然起了翻天覆地的變化，很想擁抱他。

以後，無論快樂或哀愁，我們也想不起當初為什麼愛他。

只有當我們不愛一個人時，才會找出不愛他的原因，因為我們開始挑剔。任何一個人，只要你去挑剔，一定找得出缺點。越去挑剔，缺點越多，我們便可以說出為什麼不喜歡他。

我們想買一件衣服時，即使發現他有小小瑕疵，埋怨幾句，也肯將就，因為只有這一件，而且我們太喜歡它了，瑕不掩瑜嘛！

假使我們根本不想買那件衣服，它的小小瑕疵便是致命傷。我們更會努力地找出其他缺點，譬如質料不夠挺，顏色太鮮豔，向售貨員證實，我們不是隨便來逛逛的，我有認真考慮過的呀！

分手可以有很多原因，結合卻只有一個原因。

原因就是：不需要原因。


>>December 30, 2010 at 5:25:56 AM GMT+8

2010 年 12 月 29 日 星期三 【晴】



我看見鏡子後面皺著眉的我
很孤單怕有話想說
像天空不會永遠都是藍色的
有陰天你才會抬頭
走穿多少的巷弄 笑了哭了
有三四個人愛我
我想要一個亂了數字的時鐘
我想做一個完全相反的我
我在這個世界拼命 是什麼
累死我

我有雙不聽任何命令的耳朵
去享受快樂加上自由的我
我要變成一個透明的石頭
我不會動 也不會痛

想念的憂鬱太重累積了所以
原諒我想消失自重
每個人都在喧鬧的軌道奔走
講真的我想要呼救
請看愛情的臉孔
美的醜的
幾千萬人都被愚弄了

我想要一個亂了數字的時鐘
我想做一個完全相反的我
我在這個世界拼命 是什麼
累死我

我有雙不聽任何命令的耳朵
去享受快樂加上自由的我
我要變成一個透明的石頭
我不會動 也不會痛


>>December 30, 2010 at 12:38:28 AM GMT+8

2010 年 8 月 8 日 星期日 【晴】




Long time no write! I was busy rehearsing the church dramas for few months.
and its all done beautifully! thanks to God!!!

but I keep posting my artworks in http://artist-mayso.blogspot.com/
This is an art blog only. I guess I will keep my personal stuff here.

Since 2009, I have done 4 dramas in church. Suddenly I became an actress.
I remembered I was first on stage in high-school.
I was the main actress, but I didn't know what I was doing in that moment.
I was a gal without parents' love, and met some bad friends. And finally I met grandma in the garden....
after that.... I can't exactly remember anymore. haha

In 2005, I has joined a drama group in Sheung Wan.
however I has suddenly got the serious sickness and had to stay in hospital before the drama started.
I have met many drama good friends who love playing, watching dramas very much.
After the course, some of them went studying the full time drama courses in APA and work in this filed.
what's an amazing change!

In July 2009, I started to pick up the mood of acting in the play 'Green Nose' in church.
It wasn't an easy task for me to do chinese and english version too. They composed the songs themselves. =)
It is a musical kid drama. I guess I have mentioned it in past diary too. I enjoyed very much!!!

In January 2010, I have done another kid english drama in 5 days called 'The Kingdom of the Son'.
I was touched by the lovely kids. But I twisted my ankle. ='I

In July - August 2010, tbc...



>>August 9, 2010 at 6:53:44 AM GMT+8

2010 年 2 月 16 日 星期二 【晴】





4.04-4.51pm
struggling > tearing > peaceful > thankful

In this 47 mins, I totally understood of my aunt's thoughts.
she worries, questions and wonders of my family.
that is what I have never thought of.
She trusts in me, but my family.

Deeply thank you, my auntie Winnie!

Her thoughts might be true...
people might be changed when you are not beside them.

Thanks to God for giving me such as thoughtful aunt!
She seemed "light" me up suddenly!
And all I know is she is willing to help me.

how many years have I deal with the finical problems of my family?
Since I was 18...

She reminded me how much did I give to my family...
I cried not bcoz of giving all I have to my family, but feeling tired.
and I think it is not really about $, but my heart.
Is it time to be selfish?

Whatever they did badly, I do love them.

AND I am pretty sure that all I did is what I am willing to do.
Bcoz God first loved me.

Dear Father, thank you so much! You have prepared for me!



>>February 17, 2010 at 6:46:18 AM GMT+8

2010 年 2 月 15 日 星期一 【晴】




Today we went to visit Elderly Chinese Home Victoria.
I missed my grandma and grandpa!

In the beginning, the elders didn't react much.
After warmed up, they started to talk to you and smile to you.
Their smiles warmed me.
we were playing, singing and chatting.
And Mrs. Lam's sharing encouraged not only the elders, but also myself.

It is always your choice to be happy or sad!!! It depends on how you think and react!
thanks to God!

It took a hour for ice-breaking, then I have to go to work. =(
Back to sushi..... Boss keeps mentioning me about marriage.... almost everyday...

Today she got another suggestion for me to stay here.... to marry a local....
I just replied her a smile.... thanks for ur concern.... I won't die....

and I told her I won't work for her after Feb, bcoz of Uni. haha

What''s a big relief!!!! XD


>>February 16, 2010 at 11:49:21 AM GMT+8

2010 年 2 月 15 日 星期一 【晴】




你要的<3

虽然经常梦见你 还是毫无头绪
外面正在下着雨 今天是星期几
but i don`t know 你去哪里
虽然不曾怀疑你 还是忐忑不定
谁是你的那个唯一 原谅我怀疑自己
我明白 我要的爱 会把我宠坏
像一个小孩 只懂在你怀里坏
你要的爱 不只是依赖
像一个大小孩 风吹又日晒 生活自由自在


>>February 16, 2010 at 11:49:09 AM GMT+8

2010 年 1 月 30 日 星期六 【晴】



Spiritual Formation

Day 1
NO MORE FEAR

For reading & Meditation - 1 John 4:17-18
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..." (v.18)

Do you have a problem with fear? Then here John gives you the remedy- perfect love.
Someone asked the dean of a girls' college: "What is the chief problem of these girls?"
And the dean replied: "Fear."
The visitor was surprised, and asked the dean to comment further on the situation.
"These poor things are afraid of so much," she said.
"Afraid of failure, afraid of what others think of them, afraid of the future - just afraid.
They seldom show it because they have pushed their fears into their subconscious, and there they fester.
These subconscious fears create a climate of anxiety.
The girls scarcely know why they are afraid, but they are basically afraid."
You may well identify with some of the remarks made by the dean,
and say to yourself: "That is exactly how I feel - basically afraid."

The root cause of fear is an absence of love. When Adam, because if sin,
became separated from God and the awareness of His love,
the first thing he said was this: "I was afraid" (Gen. 3:10).
When love flows out, fear flows in.
I assure you that if, at this moment,
you had a vivd awareness of how much God loved you,
every fear troubling you would vanish.
And why?
Because once your personality detects the presence of its Creator,
then it responds to it with faith and not with fear.

So you can see,
the answer to your problem if fear lies not in self-centred efforts to conquer it but in concentrating on the fact that God loves you,
and has control of all the situation and circumstances of your life.
The more you focus on that fact, the more His love will flow in, and the more fear will flow out.
We are never afraid of those who love us.

----------

What am I afraid of? 


>>January 31, 2010 at 1:36:15 AM GMT+8

2010 年 1 月 24 日 星期日 【晴】



過去　是養活我的水

愛裡　共你埋頭安睡

心意日夜追隨　從來沒疑慮

我知道　天天抱著誰



最愛　是貼著你身軀

最痛　是發現你恐懼

當這滴著淚的信　唸到這一句

然後　就被寂寞佔據

　

時光本是無罪　你說當初已失去
　
其實尚可和我努力重新追
　
也許　哭著重聚　會再生歡笑花蕾
　
能代替這結束之旅　回不去

剎那　是快樂與爭取

永遠　像壓力和拖累

當你為日後打算　沒法說一句

還願　念及現在這裡



時光本是無罪　
你說當初已失去
其實尚可和我努力重新追

也許　哭著重聚　會再生歡笑花蕾

能代替這結束之旅　從此失去


>>January 25, 2010 at 11:16:35 AM GMT+8