2008 年 10 月 2 日 星期四 【晴】

Help me O Lord, how you want me to deal with it...?

Another day has gone, I only have 2 days left to prepare for my Sunday's viola lesson. I just saw the Typhoon Signal No 1 on TV, how I love to have a typhoon Signal no 8 on Sunday! So I can avoid to sit for a lesson this week. You know, if you don't want to have a lesson, you can, by all means give an excuse (a lie) and cancel it yourself. Moreover, if you are having masterclass, where your teacher is a first class tutor, one thing you could do, is DON'T prepare for the lesson. When the "master" sees that you are unprepared, he/she will kick you out of the room not long after the lesson started. And that's the worst thing, you have prepared it, but not up to standard, and he kicks you out, I can assure you that all the bad feelings will come up.

One sister told me not to take lessons with him. She sees that I am already very pushing to myself, what would happen if I meet a teacher who is also very demanding. Haha, you know what is happening this week? I feel tense, I feel that my muscles and shoulders are already contracting. I haven't experience that in these 3 months. Further, to the comments like... not good enough, not doing enough, still not yet get to it... I am trying to reach higher.

My dad used to play violin until 2-3am. Yet he stopped. Now he returns home around 11pm each day, and sees me playing the viola, he would tell me to stop and asks me to play in the morning. I think my sister has complained and he gave in. He understand that my sister & other neighbours need to rest at those hours, especially that they have gone to work for a day. I usually held my practice 'til 12am. I feel frustrated. I am not in uni anymore, I don't have that 4-8 hours each day for my viola... I don't have my little hut to practice freely...

It is good to have a good teacher.

It is good to have viola lesson.

It is good to keep up my skills.

I will do my EXTRA BEST in these 2 months for the probation period. After all, I am leaving the PASS and the FAIL to the Lord. During this time, I know I have done something too much and neglected another thing, I hope I fell down to my knees and pray.

I have to practice ASAP.

And this ASAP means Always Say A Prayer in Christ.

>>October 2, 2008 at 4:44:14 PM GMT+8

2008 年 9 月 28 日 星期日 【晴】

2nd day of the week...

I left home quite early this morning to visit my grandma. (It was 10am actually) I entered the building and to her apartment, moreover, she wasn't home, neither does the maid. I got the keys, so I didn't ring her before hand.

I sat on the sofa, the one which grandpa ate & slept when he was at home after coming out of the hospital.
I hanged awhile on the balcony for some wireless network so I could surf the web.
I also went unto grandma's bedroom and looked at the old photos.

It was around 11:15am, I left to get some food, and returned again.

Grandma came back while I almost finish the lunch. She visited the clinic and told me she had a terrible headache. I let her sleep and left an hour later.



Too much to think and recall... I miss my grandpa.

>>September 29, 2008 at 5:49:09 AM GMT+8

2008 年 9 月 27 日 星期六 【晴】

I have taken my 2nd viola lesson this evening with a new teacher, he is from HK. His students have to go through an audition (a test), and he will choose whom to teach. He doesn't really choose me, but he decided to teach me for 2 months, so call, probation period.

Linda, after the lesson today, I am afraid that I can't pass this probation. He is very different from all the teachers that I have encountered. You know, when I go for music lesson, I usually feel confident and I am certain that I have done a lot of practice (well prepared). Usually my teachers can see my effort and AFFIRM me.

However this teacher is, as he told me, very aggressive! I know I have tried all my best to prepare for the lesson, played the music to my best effort. But I can feel that this teacher wants more, he demands much much much more than what I have prepared! And give me a lot of assignments. Quite challenging!

>>September 28, 2008 at 2:11:21 PM GMT+8

2008 年 9 月 26 日 星期五 【晴】

為人父母~

雖然我沒生小生命的經歷，但今天卻被小朋友們使我心痛了

今日．．．

在 concert hall 裡，有人倒瀉了一碗 cup noodle
也有小朋友在樂器之中碰碰撞撞

食物是不能帶進 concert hall 的
樂器，是合唱團的人不能捉摸的，他們更在那裡玩捉迷藏！

噢！今天安排了最好的 concert hall 給您們，
裡頭有新 chairs，地方大，又有 carpet．
但您們的行為～　氣死我了！

>>September 27, 2008 at 9:58:25 AM GMT+8

2008 年 9 月 22 日 星期一 【晴】

I visited Hong Kong yesterday... didn't expect it! You know, I met my new viola teacher on Sunday and he asked me to get 3 music books. I was a bit frustrated, coz I have all the 3 books that he requested, but they are all in Melbourne!

Esta is kind enough to get them for me, but the third one, I have to buy it, so there I was, in Hong Kong again. I arrived at the ferry terminal before 9:30pm, and realized that I have left my wallet at home >.< !!! I head back home and arrived HK an hour later. Since I know where to go, It took me less than an hour to get the books. I also bought a viola solo music for my student.

Had lunch, and return to Macau.

I am playing Campagnoli 41 Caprices, my teacher commented that, this is the last book in viola techniques. "LAST!"

>>September 23, 2008 at 2:03:26 AM GMT+8

2008 年 9 月 11 日 星期四 【晴】

I am doing a search for buying inexpensive violas. Out of boredom, I put my Chinese name on the search engine, and some old news came up...

...第十九屆澳門青年音樂比賽
馮凱樺（選曲No 3）...


...鍾穎康/ 陳雪瑩/ 馮凱樺/ 鍾穎文. （選曲1 ） ...


...演藝學院208室
1 馮凱樺Fong Hoi Wa. 自選 G.P. Telemann Concerto in G Major...


...中提琴前兩名依次為:張偉樑(八十五分)、馮凱樺(八十分)...

>>September 12, 2008 at 3:14:39 AM GMT+8

2008 年 9 月 10 日 星期三 【晴】

本來 plan 了明天去香港找 Vera & choir buddies. 不過, 馮家的"家好月圓之 Mid-Autumn Family Feast" 剛定了星期五舉行.

中秋? 這四年裡都沒與家人一起過, 對我 e 個唔中國人的中國人, 冇咩感受.

我本來沒打算放棄去香港.

不過, 星期五能見到表姐/姑媽/叔叔/伯伯, 的確是一個見證主的好時刻. 過香港... next Thursday 啊!

而今天的"認真釣魚"好像 affirm 緊我.

認真釣魚 http://www.baptist.org.hk/new/b5_info02.php#

>>September 11, 2008 at 6:27:12 AM GMT+8

2008 年 9 月 10 日 星期三 【晴】

I am taking two trips for myself:

1) 14/9 to Guangzhou with church choir members & their family

2) 18/9 to Hong Kong, pick up my things and have dinner with choir mates


I have no idea that Monday is a public holiday, and I am afraid my new viola teacher is coming on Sunday! While there will be orchestra rehearsal on Monday. Those schedules have not been announced yet, but as usual, YSO usually have extra & OT rehearsals on public holidays.

I was thinking, is this a Godly fear or a Worldly fear...?

>>September 11, 2008 at 1:22:37 AM GMT+8

2008 年 9 月 8 日 星期一 【晴】

http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/womens-health/1222/shut-down-at-530pm

Just read the above article, I like the filling papers suggestions : 4 "F" word: finish, forward, file or flick! I was file my papers, but very often I have forgotten where I file them, and eventually I have to print a new copy when I need them.

Far too organized?

Um, by the way, I am using a new number in Macao 62287678. I am forwarding my calls to my workplace, so I don't mind people calling me and use up my credits in a short time :P NOW!

Flashback 8 September 2008:
My colleagues are ALL away for a meeting. I cried when they left in the afternoon, coz I felt left out in the group. I told my boss that it's my pleasure to stay and look after the office on all behalf, but I know I am saying it with a deeper meaning!

Flashback 7 September 2008:
There's a concert tonight by out junior orchestra. I took the Bus 1A to the venue yet later realized that I have taken the wrong bus. The bus stopped somewhere, the driver left and later returned, he said, "how come I am still there". Well... I have experienced bus driver in Oz stopping the bus aside, goes to the washroom/ take a cigar/ a coffee... those things are normal. After the driver's comment, I know I have taken the wrong bus! I got off and just found myself in an unknown place - dark, no buildings around, beside a pond-like thing. It took me an hour to return and arrive at the concert hall. The conceert has finished the first half by then.

So I didn't help a lot except selling our DVDs. I met Andy and he gave me a lift home. I asked to stop at McDonald but he has forgotten about it, he drove me to somewhere else for late dinner. He is - a gentlement!

Flashback 6 September 2008:
Today's the choir's Open Day. Throughout these 2 months, I have written a press release (published http://www.macaodaily.com/html/2008-09/02/content_217931.htm); booked hotel for our guest; prepare food catering for our parents; decoration; cleaning; tidying; etc thus... anything related to hosting an Open Day, except teaching & conducting & accopanying!

My boss said my press release is very SOFT. My tone and my words... and I found myself using words from the spiritual jargon!

That afternoon, when the choir was singing the last song, I was thinking to prepare the food (open the package). I was a page turner that day too! When the concert finished, I ran to the office and got the cutter. Moreover, my boss called me to take the photos together. I hand the cutter to my colleague and asked her to help me. I felt very welcome when my boss asked me to take photos. You know... usually only the performers get to be in the photo, and not the admin/ secretary people...

After that, a lot of parents approached me for different enquires. I chatted to them and fought against them too. Some asked to take leave for the child during the school term... I looked back and felt myself so brave to 得罪 them in protecting our choir! When the last one was gone, I went to the table, and saw no leftovers. I don't know why, but unconsicously opened the fridge, there was a dish of fresh fruits!

I would call it "food from the Heaven". Lynn said I was careless, but in my careless, God has done something good! The parents and the students weren't able to enjoy the fresh fruits since I have forgotten about it. Yet me and other hungry staff have something to eat then!

>>September 9, 2008 at 5:59:52 AM GMT+8

2008 年 8 月 29 日 星期五 【晴】

能夠把興趣當作事業，是幸福的人；能夠把事業當作事奉，是蒙福的人。


縱然天色並非常藍，基督徒亦會遭遇苦難，但卻可以選擇用喜樂的心去面對。


Reply from Jesus - I am blessed. I can choose the right attitude to face challenges.

>>August 29, 2008 at 5:31:43 PM GMT+8