2009 年 12 月 9 日 星期三 【晴】

I will miss you, my friend!!!

Eileen F is leaving tomorrow!!! No matter what, I will accompany her to the terminal!!! I am the first person that she met personally in Macau and I hope to be there when she leaves.

I remember I give up my lunch time and went searching for a heater / hot waterbottle / warm pad for her and Jean when a cold change suddenly hit Macau. I remember I bet my colleague to work at 7.30am so she won't get stuck in the traffic during the Grand Prix. I will be cheered when I remember she gave me "2 stars" for preparing her the map and other documents. I will keep the SMS messages which she sent with love and encouragement. I will treasure the golden turtle and the Belgian Chocolate received from Eileen.

Yesterday the song came into my mind "What Can I Give Him". Its lyrics says, "what can I give him, to show him my love? If I were a shepherd, I give him my lamb. ... I know what I give him, I give him my heart."

有時我都不太明白我有的這個「服事」恩𧶽是什麼來的。「教導」must be gifted in teaching。但「服事」呢？Each gift used is already a "serving", 不是嗎...? 「服事」恩𧶽是怎樣的？

明天送走 Eileen，我又 relief 一點！因為除下的日子，我只有一位 guest 要面對。想起１２月頭，有三位 guest 要"handle"，真的感謝主比我有能力。更對不起主，因我一心做好這工作，什麼都不理。記得我一日走三個地方，預備最好，plan 時及實行時又驚又 excited。當中有 accident，but 已沒事了。

-//-

>>December 10, 2009 at 3:10:44 PM GMT+8

2009 年 12 月 7 日 星期一 【晴】

My guest was sorry for me, as I wasn't fully recovered and would have to meet him at 7:55am in the morning. Well... it's my work anyway. I just have to blame that I haven't find a helper whom is available this morning.

So far, my two lovely guests has described me as follow:

five-star Emmers (Emmer - Emily)
angel
terrific
excellent
fantastic
princess

One of them will leave this Friday, I will try my best to go with her to the terminal and the other will leave by 19th. I am really touched and moved by them! They took 10+ hours flight to work in Macau, away from home... This is the first time for me to develop a deeper relationship with them.

I want to learn from EF - she is always calm no matter in what situation
I want to learn from DS - he is having millions of jokes in his head, always in time to give people a smile

Thank you for the compliments! It must be Jesus too... he knows too well that WORDS of encouragement works on me!

>>December 8, 2009 at 3:05:44 PM GMT+8

2009 年 12 月 7 日 星期一 【晴】

剛收到一盒 chocolate，我好開心！好感動．

今早 7:47am 坐 taxi 去酒店接客人．8:40am一切都安好了．客人問，是否我做曬所有東西，我說是，除了簽名及給我工資．10:30am見見另一位客人，她也問同一個問題．

They noticed that I am doing all the work…

I received a box of Belgian Chocolate from my guest just now. Really really very touching. Thank you for acknowledging my work.

I visited the doctor yesterday. Though I am not feeling wonderful today, I am still conscious and could touch a bit of my work.

>>December 8, 2009 at 2:56:21 AM GMT+8

2009 年 12 月 4 日 星期五 【晴】

We have just talked on this topic last week - management

Do I need to touch it?

This lunch time, I ordered a mushroom pagnini and a soup of the day. I sat down and enjoyed my lunch. Not long after, I got a call, someone told me that the helper hasn't arrived yet. It was 13:06 and he shall arrive at 13:00. I rang him but the phone has been switched off. I called for help yet another staff wasn't available.

So... I made a decision - I caught a taxi and arrive at the centre. Since I am on another island, it cost me $50 for the ride.

老人家心血小呀，不要每天嚇我好嗎？

When I arrived, the helper was there. I starred at him. I wanted to cry in front on him, hoping that he sensed how serious his lateness was. One partner asked me the number of the helper, they are super-alerted ever since our helper has been late for once. (My helper got a stomach upset on the way and so she was late...)

I am enormously angry & upset. Our image is spoiled. And I don't know if I can trust this helper anymore. They can smile and get away. But I am in charge... oh... I did my best, I have reminded him 2 times already :( ~

之後客人叫我入去，有說話跟我說

說了「he is intelligent 」but we know that he doesn't win in all things. She smiled. Is that part of management... that even how emotional you are, you don't show it out.

Please... let me have peace

>>December 4, 2009 at 4:29:15 PM GMT+8

2009 年 12 月 2 日 星期三 【晴】

Looks like I am not alright... keep coming back to my blog tonight.

I cleared all my debts earlier this week, hoping to use my credit card for the hotel accommodation. Yet right before I made the decision, a sister offered me to stay in her house. It wasn't my first choice, I wanted to take 7 days of my trip alone and 7 days with companion. Now would be 14 days living with a housemate?

-//-

I told Ken that I was stressed with work. He replied... "you better go and finish all your work, otherwise you will bring them to Melbourne". I expected for his nice and jokie reply but he gave me the truth this time >.< ~

-//-

why?

I had a terrible November. I was quite concerned when a close friend commented that I am having 95% of my time for work. Well, I tried all my best to make a change. Yet not long after in late November, boss imposed his request for no rest in December.

I am working in Taipa tomorrow. Im gonna read that book "ordering my private world".

+++ GETTING emotional +++

>>December 3, 2009 at 3:57:15 PM GMT+8

2009 年 12 月 2 日 星期三 【晴】

因 Sky 身體有事，我好早就回家了

23:20，仍為著今天兩位手足的事而感覺不自在

what is this?

是自責？

是 worry 我不可以 trust them 100%？

why?

I am feeling so burdened after this incident...

p.s. 要快點 edit 個 prayer news，早點睡吧

>>December 3, 2009 at 3:21:58 PM GMT+8

2009 年 12 月 2 日 星期三 【晴】

Received 1 thank-you gift and 1 Christmas gift the other day ^.^ ~
Also received a box of tiny individual wrapped dark-choc today.

X great X

I am very very very discouraged by boss. A very very deep disappointment. Somewhat these gifts cheered me. I don't mean to live by people's affirmation. However, I am super upset with boss. I am very mean this week, am I angry? am I taking justice by myself...?

:(

>>December 3, 2009 at 2:51:04 PM GMT+8

2009 年 12 月 2 日 星期三 【晴】

今早想睡多一小時

就沒有在 8am 上班

誰知收到一個又一個的電話

兩位手足沒於指定時間出現

這使大家又擔心又麻煩

過後又接到電話

得知手足早走左

我聽到之後心情 down 曬

我應對他們罵罵罵定笑笑笑

他們如何會好好做好自己的剛位

在我之上的

沒有罵我

但我不好意思

開始發覺

原來我的工作

去到一些 management 的位

也感覺我沒有這能力

>>December 3, 2009 at 2:14:56 PM GMT+8

2009 年 12 月 1 日 星期二 【晴】

今日無意中聽到一事

爸跟一位同事說, 由我在這裡工作開始, 他感覺失去了一個女兒

我有些不開心

最近公司很多事

大家都已不開心了

我暫只盡力堅持教會及拍拖的時間

對於屋企

仍是屋企 (house)

我仍是沒心沒力

把她作為一個家 (family)

>>December 2, 2009 at 6:21:50 AM GMT+8

2009 年 11 月 29 日 星期日 【晴】

Two things unfinished...


1> 我未 settle 27/12 - 10/1 accommodation！
2> 我又沒去修保下同家人的 relationship！

由 10/11 起，我就沒在家吃飯。在大家起床前我已出門，而我回家時，媽已睡了。某天我能回來吃飯，媽追問兩樣野，1> 我未給她家用；2> 問我何時去 tax department 攪間屋的事。有點 annoying... 因兩樣事情都跟 $ related！

回來了多過１２個月，除了一開始有心去 build a closer relationship ，我想之後我的 focus 已 shift 了。

How come I am not concerned with my family...?
So boring... as usual, dad is enjoying his music; sis is doing her make-up and mom is staying in tune with the TV program. And myself, blogging...

>>November 30, 2009 at 3:05:22 PM GMT+8