2013 年 8 月 25 日 星期日 【晴】

我就黎唔得喇

心情超差

剛剛山頂來電說 19/9 appointment 要更改日期. 平時我都好順醫院的安排. 不過今次真係頂佢 lor. 我上個月特地申請戈日 annual leave!

佢 e 家話唔得, 仲叫我地 30/8 上去睇. Stupid 架~

>>August 26, 2013 at 2:54:20 AM GMT+8

2013 年 6 月 15 日 星期六 【晴】

It was a relief when hearing that Ms Lilik has experienced 1 1/2 year that her hubby has no job. That he was not too concerned and not passionate to get one.

Well, I have felt being unloved and being unsupported lately. The major reason lies on Sheng, not devoting time to help raise Ella, and not contributing financially to the family. He often ask me to get a gov job, so that I could have more pocket money for myself, no way. I am enjoying my life with ABRSM! I did applied to resign last year, but my pay has been adjusted and that's why I stayed.

Sheng has a second in this morning. This job is to drive the boss around. The pay isn't bad in Zhuhai. I told him that as long as it's for short term, the condition is fine to accept. Moreover, mom raised this matter this mornin. She doesn't agree Sheng to take this job. She says that the boss has some background and Sheng will not have holiday/ no regular off hours. And she began to complaint he doesn't get other part time or short term jobs. Not going to train himself or acquire some handsom skills, take course whatever.

I feel so sad, so bad, so wanna cry now.

I have banned Sheng doing anything illegal (in the condition in mainland!)

I have asked him to get a degree, to learn English, Chinese typing...

I have not come into agreement with him doing business.

It's sort of similar with what mom is thinking. Moreover, it just comes out that Sheng is on the other end, we have endless arguments, upsets, fights. Sheng feels we are pushing him. He wants business to get more and faster money than working for other ppl.

We didn't give mom any household expenses for 2 months, this month we pay mom everything. With my credit card payment and some other stuff, I have not much left with my everyday account. I told Sheng to borrow. He asked why, why not me borrowing or me helping, I told him that he married me into his family, He shall take care me instead.

He has wanted to ask my dad to borrow money for property, for business... I hate it dearly.

Well, and for myself, I wanna go shopping, I am a girl, right? After giving birth, my waist no more fits my old clothes. But we are well under 0 balance.

God is giving a hand... This month we have grandma birthday, Father's Day and Ella"s 100 days celebration. Mom, dad and sister has given Ella red packets. The money is able to make up this month's expenses, with some left.

>>June 16, 2013 at 5:40:15 AM GMT+8

2013 年 6 月 15 日 星期六 【晴】

It was a relief when hearing that Ms Lilik has experienced 1 1/2 year that her hubby has no job. That he was not too concerned and not passionate to get one.

Well, I have felt being unloved and being unsupported lately. The major reason lies on Sheng, not devoting time to help raise Ella, and not contributing financially to the family. He often ask me to get a gov job, so that I could have more pocket money for myself, no way. I am enjoying my life with ABRSM! I did applied to resign last year, but my pay has been adjusted and that's why I stayed.

Sheng has a second in this morning. This job is to drive the boss around. The pay isn't bad in Zhuhai. I told him that as long as it's for short term, the condition is fine to accept. Moreover, mom raised this matter this mornin. She doesn't agree Sheng to take this job. She says that the boss has some background and Sheng will not have holiday/ no regular off hours. And she began to complaint he doesn't get other part time or short term jobs. Not going to train himself or acquire some handsom skills, take course whatever.

I feel so sad, so bad, so wanna cry now.

I have banned Sheng doing anything illegal (in the condition in mainland!)

I have asked him to get a degree, to learn English, Chinese typing...

I have not come into agreement with him doing business.

It's sort of similar with what mom is thinking. Moreover, it just comes out that Sheng is on the other end, we have endless arguments, upsets, fights. Sheng feels we are pushing him. He wants business to get more and faster money than working for other ppl.

We didn't give mom any household expenses for 2 months, this month we pay mom everything. With my credit card payment and some other stuff, I have not much left with my everyday account. I told Sheng to borrow. He asked why, why not me borrowing or me helping, I told him that he married me into his family, He shall take care me instead.

He has wanted to ask my dad to borrow money for property, for business... I hate it dearly.

Well, and for myself, I wanna go shopping, I am a girl, right? After giving birth, my waist no more fits my old clothes. But we are well under 0 balance.

God is giving a hand... This month we have grandma birthday, Father's Day and Ella"s 100 days celebration. Mom, dad and sister has given Ella red packets. The money is able to make up this month's expenses, with some left.

>>June 16, 2013 at 5:40:15 AM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 28 日 星期二 【晴】

Oh no, hubby is fed up la.

I really have no mood to listen to his call as he has this emotion with every sentence.

He speaks out finally his thinking. And truly, it was I who, irritated him. Well, but of course, wasn't he also giving me some more financial burden as well?

May I not let our princess see that we quarrel.
May I smile again so that my breast milk isn't affected?

-//-

Had this argument in the afternoon with wechat. I ended the conversation without replying to his last words.

He called tonight, and solely attacking. I ended the conversation because he is driving, too emotional. But I don't dare to return the call.

>>May 29, 2013 at 3:28:03 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 25 日 星期六 【晴】

返到去陳家，一開波就被三姑六婆問點解小公主有胎痣，又責怪她的 skin colour比較黑．佢見到我 3pm 先吃 lunch，飲 starbucks，更加多幾句罵下．

mom & dad in law 都冇出聲，只係開心個孫回來．Come on．．．小公主好合作被從來未見過的人抱來抱去，明明想睡時，又被四五個人叫佢笑．我可以的，就是對住三姑六婆 O mouth，及在場旁觀，standby 隨時出手阻止．

>>May 27, 2013 at 4:51:37 AM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 21 日 星期二 【晴】

Mid-night Ella cannot sleep by herself. I was able to cuddle her to sleep but cannot put her on the bed. So I keep holding her. Later she made some sound, I am not sure if she was passing gas or had poop. So I put her down and checked. she cried as well. After all the checking, I put her back in my arms, still crying.

Mom came as usual. But this time I didn't let her. I keep Ella close to me and try to rock her to stop crying. But the cries go louder. Mom again wanted to intervened. I refused. And finally Ella turned her head searching for my nipple. Now she cannot take her.

She left.

Hubby came and said 老婆你好叻！攪得點呀B!

開心死！

>>May 23, 2013 at 12:29:30 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 20 日 星期一 【晴】

I called a 1986 as auntie, I though she is my friend's mother, but indeed she is her younger sister!

>>May 23, 2013 at 12:21:22 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 20 日 星期一 【晴】

okay... thanks God and thanks babe sucking work! The lump has disappeared! The milk blister is still there and it's so tempting to pop it out like a pimple XD ~

Scattered rain this morning. We had an appointment at 11am and hubby managed to come back from Zhuhai just right on time. Mom wanted to go with me and give a hand, but I don't like the idea. We used aprica's fitta today and I feel much better than the one I bought initially. When we return, hubby wanted to think twice if we need a stroller in mainland or not. Yes... it's hard on the shoulder when carrying baby for longer periods.

The blood test was brief and we can go after that. The nurse didn't ask us to take any precaution at this stage but I'd be careful anyway.

So today is working 12.30 - 21.30.

>>May 21, 2013 at 5:25:42 AM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 19 日 星期日 【晴】

嚇死我喇... last night felt a bit sore in the breast, today, noticed some white thing on the nipple and also something hard inside!!!!

I've thought of cancer!!!

Okay... but I called the breastfeeding line. Also looked up a bit. Guess it is a blocked duct with a lump developed.

may it be heal full~

>>May 20, 2013 at 8:22:17 AM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 17 日 星期五 【晴】

arm arm 我針水時出左 e 句 'why am i (always) being sacrificed'.

現記起結婚那天因一事我不段　question 同一問題．

我好想喊，我想同我 d 關心我 ge 人講，我老公蝦我．

同時我知也怕 satan 做手腳

我聽返 wechat 的 message，猜得沒錯．那說以後不要接他電話．好吧，他以後也不要免強來澳門．

>>May 18, 2013 at 4:38:30 AM GMT+8