2006 年 9 月 16 日 星期六 【晴】

The tears of the Lord?

Our dear senior Pastor once asked, do you cry when you read the bible? If yes, for what?



I was crying just now after watching the opening ceremony video of Wynn, two of my friends send it to me, at first I have no motivation to watch/download it, but then I downloaded and watched it this afternoon. The music accompanying the video ( - not sure if it was live or further edit...) are all very familiar for me. I know them, I have sang them, played them, studied them as well. The ceremony... I feel like very much olympic-style - very GRAND, very fancy & powerful.

The video wasn't long, so I let it replay for a few times.

I cried becoz I feel so sorry for Macau. Although I never have a very strong sense of belongining towards my home-country, I feel sorry that the gambling side of Macau is blooming. Will there be any disciples working in the casinos? I hope so~

May the Lord have mercy on Macau, open the eyes of the heart of those working/gambling in the casions in Macau. Lead them to truth. Spare anyone involved - suffering financially, bad impact on children. Father, I lift Macau to you!

Are my tears today also reflect yours my Lord? May you grant me a heart of mercy, a more and more mature perspective view of yours! Let me feel what you feel, let me see what you see, let me mourn what you mourn. Grant me wisdom to pray, grant me patience to keep praying. I know you hear my prayers! I thank you for the authority I have on earth!

>>September 17, 2006 at 3:29:39 AM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 16 日 星期六 【晴】

http://www.baptist.org.hk/b5_info_everyday.asp

「我……勸你們……要一心一意彼此相合。」（林前一：10）



求神賜下合一的靈給 VO＋CE，讓我們同心．同步．同行

「主，我們謙卑地求祢，賜福給我們，使大家可以攜手同行，步伐完全一致。」

>>September 17, 2006 at 1:01:50 AM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 16 日 星期六 【晴】

Give thanks to the Holy Spirit ^.^ !!!

GOOD on YOU all my cellmates!!!

付代價... I had many phone calls lately~ chating chating for an hour or so daily, hahah~ enjoy that very much! Thanks God I am somewhat a multi-task person. It was funny when I was chating with a brother and at the same time I am composing some music for my assignment! I'm glad that don't mind, and know that I think chating is a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME!

付代價 - OH YES~ poor my Phillips Mobile! The battery is wearing out so much that I feel so sorry for it! I am afraid I am cuting short the life of the battery very soon! I have been using this mobile for like... um, 1 1/2 - 2 years already. It needs charging only once a week (coz I don't use my mobile much!), but now when I have so many phone calls in and out, I need to charge it 2 -3 times a week. Ai ya~

Two days ago, I left my Phillips Mobile and return to use my sister's mobile. Hers is more modern - coloured monitor, with MP3 ringtones. Philips is still on black & white and single tone, haha... But sister's won't last long too~ it was her old unwanted mobile. Anyway, I like hers having a handfree...

TRADE OFF?

>>September 17, 2006 at 12:30:48 AM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 14 日 星期四 【晴】

"人人都話一個crying既靚女會比平時靚的，咁耐以來我都未遇到一個咁既example，今次真係第一次。Olivia,你可唔可以每次上堂都喊一次比我睇呀？！" says in one of the entry of my friend.

Olivia/Liv cried again today, she cried after the assessment...

入考場之前聽到 Skid 講 "Fintan makes everyone cries!"~ 之後就見到 Liv 由考場出來, 哭了. Alex White 入到黎, 他是現場唯一的男生, 問是否需要 fill in the gap~ (借個 shoulder 給 Liv). Of coz!

我唔知同學們炒左 d 乜, 在我心目, 他們每一個都勁過我. 因我在班中的實力在於 second last. Assessment 前~ 我去左 library 聽 JesusFeeds & type 之前的 entry. 入考場前跟本沒有拉琴, 見到 Liv 喊~ 祈左個小禱, 就等入去~

Assessment 後, 又聽到 Jess 都炒左個 assessment. 我知... 音樂演奏, 即使 prepare 得幾好~ 臨場時如果"炒"就真係"炒"!!! 而且, 即使 prepare 了 80%, 去到現場, 只會演奏出 70%, 加上 environment, 心情等因素, 可以只有 50% 水準 remaining. 我平日拉到 extreme best, 其實, exam 時都可以炒...

而我的 assessment, 今次... in my perspective, very well done. In teachers' perspective, errors still occur, but better then last time ^.^ ~ Kim 仲 ask me to go partying tonight to celebrate the result! hahah~ well~ I have had like 10 minutes to feel the happiness for the result, but I head off my eyes to next Friday 2 assessments already!

>>September 15, 2006 at 6:29:38 AM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 14 日 星期四 【晴】

Puting my viola down at 10:15pm last night, I am picking up my viola at 9:15am this morning once again, cool, less then 12 hours?

Huh... Penny didn't come for lesson today, not a surprise, we only have less then 10 person in the 3620 class today. Well, friday morning, what's everyone up to? I bet some maybe preparing this afternoon's assessment, some still sleeping, some got drunk last night?

I am quite happy on myself being able to be PREPARED for the assessment & the mock exam this morning. GOOD ON ME, I was pretty stressed previously, but seeing that I am 90% prepared, I can smile again.

I am upset on myself too, when I did my stretch last night, the room was quiet, there were silence in my mind. I began to feel and sense, working with my body.

When I stretched my head to the far left, I can feel my right shoulder pains, and my left shoulder sores too, what's more... both my upper & lower arms are complaining.

OSP... How dare me...

I know this is a life long lesson to learn BALANCING myself. I like to give me best (extreme best) to uni, I have to, I need to AS I THOUGHT. So my body suffers. Can I back off? 10:15pm putting down my viola... actually my body is yelling long before 10:15pm, but I just keep going, coz I am not satisfy with my practice. I am not fond of myself. Yes, that's the trap.

FUNNY by 11:30pm, I was so fresh & wanna keep going (study my MMTC), Ken was so sleepy and asked me to give him some freshness, otherwise he will hang off and let me keep going. To tell the truth, I had been working too much, too much.

I have dropped mentor's words for sometime, really need to pick them up again...

"If I have 60% of time to prepare for a test while my colleagues have 100% time, I have to accept it and do my best at 60%".

Right now I am pushing myself to get 100% of time (yet taking nearly 95% of my energy daily).

I don't know, I am not sure what to adjust...

If I let myself minister, I will give double time in my relationship with God, coz I won't minster without being well with HIM. If I won't give up MY extreme BEST in uni, coz I will have double double time for viola, triplesssss time for God, not to consider my time in ministering & e-mailing, what do you think I have for REST, SLEEP & PLAY?

Well anyway, I am OK ^.^ ~ coz I am struggling, if I am not struggling, I am not growing! I am somewhere but not somewhere I used to be, I am going somewhere. I am taking time for my friends, I am having 3 meals a day, I am taking walks when I am waiting for the following class, for the train, I am lying on bed, enjoying God's sunshine. I like these few changes in my life and love myself in taking the effort to do them!

My goal - relationship - it is working well, on the right track I can say! Then I feeling lacking sometime for studies, hahah~ coz if I AM NOT fellowshipping, my time goes for uni stuff. Simon asked me to consider adjusting my uni (on my standard, my goals, my time). That make so much sense, but how?

>>September 15, 2006 at 4:14:21 AM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 13 日 星期三 【晴】

Busy life triggers my emotion to be up & down like a roller coaster.

In the morning, I can be fresh & nice, then DOWN by noon, and then UP again in the evening, but then, stress for the following day and DOWN 'til bed time. That's me when I am struggling with time, school, goals, perfection & myself.

At the moment, I need to regain my JOY & my inner peace! These are the 2 most important thing I can think of for now, they should stable my emotion a bit!

A brother said I am so interesting, when he called me 3 times a day, he experiences and sees that I have 3 different emotons each time he calls. PROMISE, I will work on myself! May God uses the vitamin Bs as well!

FINGER CROSSED!

>>September 14, 2006 at 8:02:45 AM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 13 日 星期三 【晴】

I have been cursing SOMEONE while working on my prayer news editing today, hahah~ sorry for that!!! So many things to type!!!

Wondering who around me often SIGH... I don't sigh much previously, BUT I am sighing so MUCH nowadays. Was it an influence from my friends? Um... well~ made several phone calls just now~ Happy to hear Ken's voice, he sounded much better then yesterday~ I don't know what to say when someone is not WELL, at the same time I am not that WELL as well.

Oh... And called home, my aunt has returned to MACAU after 10 years of her departure. Grandpa isn't well, neither my grandma, when their daughter can take a trip back to Macau, I praise God. Pray that her return cheers the two elderly. And I can take a one month's rest too!

>>September 14, 2006 at 3:55:06 AM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 12 日 星期二 【晴】

THANKS Eileen for the breath in breath out thing ^.^ ~



Coming assessment & assignments & exam... um...

15 Sept - assessment
22 Sept - assessment x 2
25 Sept - project
4 Oct - assignment
10 Oct - MMTC
16 Oct - exam
17 Oct - mock exam
20 Oct - assessment
1 Nov assignment
2 Nov - exam

The above schedules are OK for me, but on top of my routine, we are preparing for the uni's concert. So there we go as well:

Today's 2-5pm rehearsal
Monday 4-6:30pm
Tuesday 4-7pm
Wednesday 6-9pm
Thursday 6-9pm
Friday 4-8pm
Saturday 5- 'til concert ends

>>September 13, 2006 at 7:52:09 AM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 11 日 星期一 【晴】

Dear Heavenly Father, how are you tonight? What are you working on?

My Lord, I am very tired. I am crying.

>>September 12, 2006 at 2:08:38 PM GMT+8

2006 年 9 月 11 日 星期一 【晴】

吃左 3 粒 Vitamin B & 1 粒 乜都有 d 的 supplement.

好 stress~ 不過又好開心~ crazy...

HAPPY coz the concert is coming. Stress coz bunch of works are approaching their deadlines too!

Today's rehearsal scheduled: 4-7pm

>>September 12, 2006 at 4:46:25 AM GMT+8