2011 年 10 月 7 日 星期五 【晴】



tough at work..
finally day off tmr, but i m having fever now.. have been sick last few days,
just didnt dare to take the day off..

i miss him.

>>October 8, 2011 at 4:31:18 PM GMT+8

2011 年 10 月 6 日 星期四 【晴】

i dreamt of him, and i miss him.

Steve Jobs died by the way, i paid tribute to him this morning before work.
i'm not feeling well. dont dare to call sick..
work was crazily busy and i 'm not feeling good there anyway.

the money problem, i dont know... i m trying to find ways to cover up.



>>October 7, 2011 at 4:20:28 PM GMT+8

2011 年 10 月 3 日 星期一 【晴】

i went to the student loan department today, went to the bank,
but salary wasnt through yet. had a busy morning, then work.
busy and tired.. trying to be professional..

i asked *Kn not to bug me too often now. i cant breath.

>>October 3, 2011 at 5:30:36 PM GMT+8

2011 年 10 月 1 日 星期六 【晴】





life is tough

>>October 2, 2011 at 6:11:02 PM GMT+8

2011 年 9 月 27 日 星期二 【晴】



i miss him.

its been quite crazy at work lately. besides all the crazy bitchy stuffs among the girls,
the promotion started. then *G left, *Ky was fired, *Sy was fired... nothing's good.
seems like all the ppl i like in the team are leaving one after one. that's not the point though..
the thing is i dont know if i wanna stay or go. i want to go, but i dont know where to go.

my financial problem is still bugging me. i m not in good mood these days.
need to figure out what to do actually. i m worried but i dont want to let him know.

>>September 28, 2011 at 5:42:59 PM GMT+8

2011 年 9 月 13 日 星期二 【晴】

i'm very exhausted these days..
need to do the report and paper work, still has promotion coming up,
so need to do lots of shop briefing. lots of survey and paper work waiting to be done.

tmr... is Sep 15, the 1 year anniversary for me at this company.
i've learned lots of things from the last year. actually i have been seeing lots of
different things from the past years, good and bad things.. its like.. so much going
on around myself. ppl i care and dont care, everyday got some new things happening..
from Van to HK then back to Van and then back to HK again.
then went to Japan and the earthquake came. all the things happened in the past months
and years. i miss Van, and i miss him. but i felt bad and i dont know what to do.
i want to do lots of things but i find myself so weak. i wanna do so much but i cant.
my grandpa died, it was difficult for my family. we went on trip and helped mom to move on.
my friends from work were leaving one after one.. then saw the gossip changes the
friendship between the other girls. and so i stayed out of their business but i was isolated
coz i didnt join. they bullied my friends and one girl was in clinical depression.
then and a very nice teacher of mine is diagnosed with cancer now. my heart sinks.
i worry about honey, and guys never stopped chasing after me. i m thinking of the days
before back from 5 years ago when i first met honey. then i thought of what happened in
Van last year. the happiness and the disappointment. pieces by pieces, bite to bite.
till the day i left at the airport, his shaking body and the tears i saw more than 3 times from
his eyes. the strongest man i have met and he cried in front of me more than 3 times.
witnessing what he did to me, things that broke my heart and made me cry. i really had
nothing to say. i wanted to move on but i couldnt, coz i love him too much to walk away.
even if he let me go i knew i wouldnt walk away. when i saw the earthquake news on tv
when i was at work. my heart was like broken, i was so worried, i wanted to take the next
flight to there. i wanted to get him ticket to fly to HK but not possible. but think about
what happened between us in Japan, it totally teared my heat apart. i did wonder what
happened to us now. i just know i love him, but i dont know what to do.

i dont know where i will go. i wanna do things for my own, wanna make choices based
on myself. but no matter where i go or what to do, it seems like he's always playing
a part in myself. cant avoid anything about myself, that's nothing without him. his impact
is everywhere in my life. the bright and the dark side. if one day i have to go, i dont
know how it'd be like.

i'm so tired.. i should get some sleep.
tmr has mandarin exam.







Listen, I am alone at a crossroads. I'm not at home in my own home.
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind, you should have known...

Oh, now I'm done believing you. You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me, I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own.

I don't know where I belong, but I'll be moving on.
If you don't, if you won't listen to the song here in my heart, a melody I start but I will complete.

Oh, now I'm done believing you, you don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me. I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own, my own.

>>September 14, 2011 at 6:58:43 PM GMT+8

2011 年 9 月 11 日 星期日 【晴】




i m too tired today, totally exhausted at work..
fuck those bitches, i dont like them at all.
i hate working with them, hate those annoying sounds and gossip.
pretending nothing happened after all. fuck. so fake.

>>September 11, 2011 at 4:06:49 PM GMT+8

2011 年 9 月 8 日 星期四 【晴】

i miss honey...
i sent him a package.. he got it already.
i miss him.

i have been having weird nightmares.. scary and sad..
i slept at 8 sth last night till 5 40 am this morning.. too tired.

>>September 9, 2011 at 3:26:14 PM GMT+8

2011 年 9 月 6 日 星期二 【晴】

It's our 5th anniversary this year... its been 5 years already.
i went to the post office today, sent him a package during lunch break.
i miss him.. i really really do.
but i dont know what to do.

i had nightmares last night, pretty bad ones..
and i only had 3 hrs sleep. i have been sick lately.. dizzy and headache, feel like puking.
i m not pregnant, not possible.

i dont know, i hung out with friends lately... i dont know.. just try my ways to distract myself.

>>September 7, 2011 at 4:12:51 PM GMT+8

2011 年 9 月 5 日 星期一 【晴】

the long lost dreams and wishes, i hope i didnt forget about you..
time flies, time flies...

>>September 6, 2011 at 4:59:21 PM GMT+8