2012 年 1 月 17 日 星期二 【晴】

didnt wanna work today. got yelled by some stupid woman again.
my back and my shoulders hurt very bad.
afterwork, i went dinner with the girls... not with the bitchy ones but the new girls.
they are much nicer and at least they're not as naive, they are normal.
had hotpot together, nice time.

but... i m seriously exhausted and i dont wanna work tmr..
but if i dont work, it could create troubles, and i dont wanna make problems to the others.

i miss him..




>>January 18, 2012 at 4:21:17 PM GMT+8

2012 年 1 月 16 日 星期一 【晴】

please give me a break...
im so tired, i want a day off.

ppl are crazy at work, and.... i dont like them, i dont like them..
i cant deal with those bitches and the stupid customers. i dont know....

>>January 17, 2012 at 3:27:33 PM GMT+8

2012 年 1 月 13 日 星期五 【晴】

work was crazy today...

my shoulder and my back hurt so bad that i didnt wanna stay at work.
i almost got ot again, but then lucky in the end i didnt have to.
it was pretty crazy at work today, felt like i was in the war.

i miss him, im thinking of him everyday. but he hasnt replied me.
i wonder if i should or should not write him. i really miss him so much.

>>January 14, 2012 at 6:16:29 PM GMT+8

2012 年 1 月 12 日 星期四 【晴】

hi there...

i'm at work now.. got ot again. at the tower lobby by myself. gotta close the counter in 1 hr.
yesterday i was closing the promotion desk, first day of the cny-promotion. freaking crazy.
got harshly scolded by 5 different ppl in 3 hrs, and eventually leaving late by 50 mins.
ppl are insane for free gifts that they shouldnt be entitled for. sigh. i sweared i didnt do
anything wrong, just that those stupid ppl couldnt get their greedy wishes, then they started
yelling at me and insulting me. what the fuck is wrong with them may i know?

i cried at work just now... i guess i needed a little break.
they gave me an extra break, unofficial one, and of course i needed to do some other stuffs
during my little break, sending fiels, emails, taking stuffs back to the office, blah blah.
i think i got 10 - 15 mins break in real only. whatever. i sit in the office, covered myself
with the coat, then looking outside the window.. kindda felt like i was back to the flight
when i was leaving Van or Jap. i cried. i cried.

breaking down? am i really breaking down? i dont even know anymore..
i've been wondering if he's gonna end with me, i dont know.
i miss him.

brb. gotta stay till 10 tonight. hopefully can leave on time.

-----------------------


home now... lat to leave again.. i think i was at work for... ard 12 hrs today..
early arrived, plus the ot.

i wasnt very happy, coz my teammates did call refilling the stock, so when i took over,
it was totally out of stock, and so the record went wrong, completely wrong.
and long queue, and no one helped, i needed to handle everything coz the other two
girls at the busy counter were new, and i was with the promoter. i supposed everything
would go well tonight, but at the end coz they didnt check the stock before i took
over, so things went wrong since me. it was pissing me off, and i needed to do extra
work for those who didnt take part of the gift package. taking their number, taking info
for both of their receipts, voucher number. it was insane. then needed to call them to
come back after stock transferred finally. yea, need to count stuffs at the same time,
signing things. and the promoter was too busy so couldnt help counting stock or inputting data.
so it was pretty messed up. ppl kept pushing since it's a nice gift, and ppl are insanely greedy.
then i had to do the last count while closing, pack things, taking redemption at the same time
coz the promtion wasnt closed yet, checking record, do the calculation, answering ques,
all in once. it was really that busy. and at the end closing it, finding space to store stuffs at the
counter, coz no one had told me they changed their mind that the ic should have came to
take all the stocks back to the control room. no one told me, and they didnt show up as well.
so i had to go crazy relocating things at that busy counter, and moved things around to get
space for the promotion stuffs and stocks, all by myself. i wondered how i could do better
since both girls at that counter were new. but tonight was slightly better than last night,
thought the number werent right. well, it wasnt my fault. when i went there, they went out
of stock already. it was already a mess when i went there. at least i left a little earlier than last
night. i feel bad though. i supposed we could all leave on time. and i m a little disappointed.

when i was on the train home, three chinese men kept staring at me.
i zipped my bag, and kept my eyes on them. i hate ppl staring at me.
a couple were pretty close to me when there were so much more space for them to stay
away from me. that girl kept moving back towards me, i just blew her hair.
i didnt look at them, i just blew her hair. eventually she moved.

i m so exhausted.. i had lunch at 2 pm, then dinner at 12 when i got home tonight..
i m really exhausted....

>>January 13, 2012 at 6:20:26 PM GMT+8

2012 年 1 月 9 日 星期一 【晴】

i m very ... i dont know how to describe myself now.
it feels like a giant stone on my chest, cant breath.

work was busy, i didnt want to upset anyone including those unreasonable customers.
i have no energy to fight for the ''rules and regulations'' i just do what i can do to make
customers happy but not letting the company knows. when in the end, it makes everyone
happy. the company doesnt need to know what kind of or how much exceptions i have
made to keep everyone happy. no, they dont need to know. they dont want complains
anyway, so they dont need to know.

i m exhausted everyday... really exhausted.

i got the email this morning when i got up.
so should i actually die first before the accident comes?
then maybe mine could cover up all the debt and money needed or i wont need to face
the lost and everything else. maybe i wont need to live my life without him.
i cried when i was on the way home. i cried coz i m really worried actually.
when i got back to work, when i closed the door while changing, i just bursted into tears.

i tried my really best to concentrate, i m completely exhausted, my head is blank.

today was very tough for me.

>>January 10, 2012 at 4:58:00 PM GMT+8

2012 年 1 月 1 日 星期日 【晴】

tell me what to do.
if we could go back, would we still choose the same way?
if i could go back of time, i would still choose him but i would try my best to make him stay.

i need to do something.

>>January 2, 2012 at 4:14:41 PM GMT+8

2011 年 12 月 30 日 星期五 【晴】

happy new year.

i hope to see him again soon.
i hope my family and he would be healthy and happy.




>>January 2, 2012 at 4:14:52 PM GMT+8

2011 年 12 月 28 日 星期三 【晴】



i miss him.

>>December 29, 2011 at 5:58:31 PM GMT+8

2011 年 12 月 27 日 星期二 【晴】




i m very very tired.

tmr before work, i'd need to go to the transportation department.
i need to apply for the driving test.

i m so tired. i m not feeling well.
lots of changes at work again. sigh. i dont know.. my manger isnt so bad to me,
so... i dont wanna leave while everyone is leaving at once. but of course i feel weird
right now, coz i cant be sure what im gonna do.

i m glad to receive honey's email. i m happy for him.
i miss him so much. i wish we could be together now.
i'd try to get to the post office next week.. also i 've got card from Mami. haha..
i bought her some cookies she likes. so yea, hope that i could go to the post office
next week. i bought two more Superwarm underwear for honey. and also a scarf
and some medicine as well. i love him and i miss him.

Sunny dropped by today. he brought me some cookies for christmas. thanks.
he has been inviting me for lunch... but everytime i just said next time, next time, next time.
but the way he poped up today really surprised me. i didnt know he was behind me.
he suddenly pushed the cookies in front of me from behind.
he's friendly enough, but never know what he really wants. ''frineds''? he never
said he wanted to make friends with me. dating me? he never really tried to date me.
maybe some ppl are just like that. they never meant to let ppl understand so they could
keep ppl guessing. but for some ppl, maybe they just dont care what the others want
from them, coz it's just that simple that i'm not supposed to know if you dont tell me.
so i could just be myself and not to care. i m not cold, but i m not available for the
guessing game.










>>December 28, 2011 at 6:49:30 PM GMT+8

2011 年 12 月 26 日 星期一 【晴】

dad's sick, in the hospital now... i know he's been sick for awhile even before christmas..
but... i dont know.. he's been very busy and tired at work lately. i hope he's okay.
i worry about him actually.

i made some cookies at home last night. watched the movie ''Home Alone 1 & 2 '' with
Doris and Miki, opened the gifts on 25th night. it just becomes our own tradition now.
have to go to the night market, open gifts together while watching ''Home Alone''. ha...
my cookies were okay. but i will make better cookies next time.

back to work today..

it was crazily busy. but lucky that those girls were not crazy at me.
maybe too many things happened these days. they changed.
i prepared candies, chocolates, and some cards for them. i just wanna be nice to them,
especially really too many things happened. i wish everyone a calm and peaceful christmas.
i wasnt at work on the 24th and 25th, so i was late.. but i have prepared already, so.. yea.

i got a few gifts and cards today from *J, *K, *Ki, and *E. they're just sweet :)
anyway..... i hope things would work out fine for the ppl ard me.

i dont want to pretend to be strong when i'm weak.
i dont want to pretend to be okay when i'm not.

i miss honey. i hope he's okay. i start to worry about him.







>>December 27, 2011 at 6:36:08 PM GMT+8