2012 年 4 月 12 日 星期四 【晴】

i dont know if i m just dumb or i'm just too trusting.
i'm so tired.









>>April 13, 2012 at 3:43:13 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 10 日 星期二 【晴】

hi..

today is mom's birthday.
mom is getting old. well... thats normal yea? i love her, and i love my family.

i got his reply email. i really miss him so much. i wanna see him.
what's been going on?

anyway... i spent time with my parents today, and had dinner and cake with mom
just now... tomorrow i need to go to the clinic for some vaccination.
i might send resume at the same time.



>>April 11, 2012 at 3:45:10 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 7 日 星期六 【晴】

i got up, then got ready to work and went to the doctor with mom.

after that, i just didnt wanna go back to work, so i just called in sick and had breakfast
with mom instead. then we walked ard and brought lunch home.
since then, i was browsing job vacancies on line.. considering a few placements.

i didnt sleep well to be honest.. i keep having weird dreams, then...
i couldnt take melatonin tonight coz i m on chinese medicine.

tomorrow would have the driving lesson again before work.
it's gonna be tough i think,

i need to go to bed... i m not feeling well.

i miss him a lot. i keep dreaming about him as well.





>>April 8, 2012 at 2:57:45 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 6 日 星期五 【晴】

i'm really exhausted.
i dont want anymore.

i got nightmare last night.. i dreamt of him as well.
i didnt get much sleep. i kept waking up.

i got my first driving lesson today..
it was difficult for me. i hope it'd be okay.

i'm going to the doctor tomorrow... and i bought the melatonin, i'd take one tablet tonight.
hope that'd help.



>>April 7, 2012 at 4:38:33 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 5 日 星期四 【晴】

hi.... i'm not feeling so good..

had tutoring before work. work was so so, except we saw Alex Fong today.
he was with his parents. he looks exactly the same as on the TV.
he seems like a nice person, but who knows.. i like his songs and movies.
i dont like much HK movies. i like the comedy from the 90's but after the 90s,
i dont usually like them so much.. i remember i used to hate Hong Kong movies,
but that year in Vancouver, i always went to the library, and i always borrow HK movies.
haha, kind of strange but i watched almost all of the movies from that library in Steveston.
so, i watched all of the Alex Fong's movie. all realistic and sad endings. not like someone
had to die that sort of thing, but never happy ending. dramatic yet always realistic.

i chatted with *Yn today... hummm closing counter with her.. she's nt that bitchy
anymore. she might have seen my status on facebook. well, i m not angry anymore
honestly. i know that's just the way she is. i cant care more. but if she's being nuts
again, i would tell her straight please do not vent on me.

*Kn came back today. he quitted. it was his last day yesterday.
he has messaged me a few times. i didnt reply much. at the end he asked for a picture.
i refused. its like... i would have no choice to attend his farewell dinner or group picture,
coz we have common friends and they are all from work. i dont want to make things
to awkward to them. but to be honest, i'd never be trusting him as a friend anymore.
i cannot trust him that he didnt put up stories. i do not trust any of he has said.
and so as his behaviors that always annoys me while trying to get attention.
i'm so sick of ppl doing that. and even lately, his messages are really annoying.
i cant stand his words and everything. i m just being polite now, otherwise i wouldnt
even want to talk to him. i have thought about blocking him for everything but i just
dont want to make it too obvious that might hurt him. i appreciated how important
he saw me, at least from what he has been saying all the time, i dont really care if you
want my honest answer. i hate ppl lying. he lies all the time. i dont care what intention
he has, liars are liars, low class, no guts, losers. i can understand ppl have reasons
to lie. with intentions that harms the others or trying to cover my eyes, i hate them the
most. especially for those dont think there's a problem or think that they can keep the
lies forever. it's just stupid as fuck.

friends have questioned if i was jealous. no. i have a very thin and clear line
between jealousy and anger. anger have many types too. some i'd forget after sleep,
some i'd forget in 2 mins or 1 hr, some are just dead sin.

i got honey's reply this morning. i miss him.
he told me he finished eating the package. i dont know if he meant he finished the
food, or he didnt like it so he stopped eating it.

i've been losing sleep lately... hard to fall asleep even though i'm exhausted.
when i'm asleep, i wake up easily. lots of dream.
i've been looking for the pil that helps sleep... melatonin. the drug stores have it but
not the brand i want. i'm so anxious everyday anytime. i cant deal with more.
tomorrow i'll have driving lesson before work. Cas, please take some sleep.




>>April 6, 2012 at 6:31:10 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 2 日 星期一 【晴】

:'(

the bitch yelled at me today.
she's freaking crazy. i dont care and i dont know what's wrong with her today.
she came with the bitchy face. threw things at the desk, i checked and took over stuffs
and found something was wrong, i wasnt even talking to her, then she fucking yelled
at me in front of everyone. i told her no, something was wrong, it wasnt my folder that's it.
then i left. i used to be polite to her even if she's being extremely rude. i just left without
saying anything this time. hate taking her tone. creepiest noise. sicking eyes.

i cant stand her fucking attitude for any longer. if she did that again, i'm gonna ask her to
shut the fuck up. Gees, i just started my 2nd hr in my shift, early at 9 am. everyone is
tired and trying to pretend to be okay, who does she think she is that could give attitude
like that to wake up everyone? oh such a nice morning, very professional too. fuck that shit.

sometimes, some ppl are just really dumb. and i joked around with my coworkers,
somehow those ppl dont need their brain, they dont use it, should just take it out and
squeeze it then put it back there it wont make a difference. i'm being so mean i know..
i dont like myself being like that at all. i hate my job, i hate what i have to deal with at work.
it's NOT HELPING ppl. IT NOT about the SERVICE. it's about PEOPLE, THOSE MORONS
ABUSING ''SERVICES'' for FREE. it's all about ABUSES with GREED and PRIDE.
and the bitches at work ''my so-called teammates'' are the horrible ppl that are so hard to
live with, so hard, so hard. close-minded, selfish, think they are pretty, think they are
great, like showing off but without real stuffs to show off.. i hate them so much.
USELESS bunch of bitches with a so-called pretty face. i cant stand them. i cant.
i know i shouldnt say that but i m really upset this time.

i went to the bank today during lunch break.. i brought some bun from home this morning
for lunch, then i went to Starbucks to get a coffee after the bank.. i liked to take some time
alone to chill instead of having lunch with a bunch of bullshit.

i'm very unhappy today.. today i'd be off... gonna meet up with Shan and have lunch with
her and Carole.. just wanna meet my best friend and relax.

i miss him... i hope he's okay.. he asked if i'd visit this year. for me, of course i'd love to.
i just dont know when coz i worry i'd bother him or he might not wanna see me. so...
i always wanna see him, i'm serious.

>>April 3, 2012 at 11:58:35 AM GMT+8

2012 年 3 月 30 日 星期五 【晴】

hi..

i miss Vancouver.
and i miss the time with him. but ... wether he's in Japan or in Vancouver,
i wanna be with him, coz that matters the most..





>>March 31, 2012 at 8:36:13 AM GMT+8

2012 年 3 月 29 日 星期四 【晴】



today was tough..
got some crazy woman yelling for losing her iphone, accusing we got her phone at my counter.
i was like.... no.... i kept checking then i called help. they called the police in the end.

lots of shit happens at work. i dont know what to say...

i went to the post office this morning before work. it's nice. i sent him a package.
i miss him. i got his mesg on skype. he's home for a few days. i hope he can get some nice
rest tonight.

tmr is Miki's bday, and i'd be off.
i wanna take some rest.. tmr night we'd have dinner outside.

i m so exhausted.. and i m not feeling very well.

>>March 30, 2012 at 5:47:23 PM GMT+8

2012 年 3 月 28 日 星期三 【晴】

its terrible at work.
my body starts to have problems again at the same time.
i dont wanna go to work. i need some other job instead soon.




i miss him

>>March 29, 2012 at 4:14:30 PM GMT+8

2012 年 3 月 25 日 星期日 【晴】

he's home i guess.

i read the news today, Japan might have a magnitude 9 earthquake soon. they found 2 new
cracks or a big crack at the East South side that might crate huge tsunami.

i miss him. sigh.

anyway work is not okay... then.. Howard dropped by today. long time no see.
since he quitted actually. it was nice to see him again today. surprising that he came to the
counter and stayed for awhile chatting with me. lucky it wasnt busy and got *GC with me.
so we chatted for awhile. i m surprised that he treats me like a friend still. i didnt like
working with him but after work, he seemed a nice person as a friend. so i was happy to
see him again. i wasnt close with him and i doubted he was making up stories at work,
but i saw him today, he didnt seem that bad kind of a person. anyway, well... i didnt see
him as an enemy and i wish good luck with his new life. he seems happy.

i wanna quit too. i was a little upset today... too many bitches.
but thanks that *DK gave me a small gift another day.
she's sweet.

i dont know... i wish things would be alright.

i miss him..

>>March 26, 2012 at 3:17:38 PM GMT+8